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March 29, 2024, 10:22:07 am

Author Topic: LM's VCE Journey  (Read 15470 times)

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vehura

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Re: LM's VCE Journey
« Reply #30 on: February 10, 2021, 11:22:48 am »
+8
Hi LM! It's good to see that you are travelling well. I agree; driving is super scary and school and exams and study scores is also super scary - have you done a reverse parallel park already?! I'm such a baby that even with like 20 hours to go, I still have never done one (and in fact cannot even park normally very well). But I know you work super hard, so the school aspect - especially with UMEP psych - you will smash, and your attitude will contribute to that even more. I hope you find it super interesting - the sunset task sounds really nice.

I'm the same way with sleep - if I don't get 9-10 hours I'm really tired and am tired around 4-5 pm and need a nap, but when I do get that much sleep I'm still tired?? So if you figure out why I'd be grateful.  ;D

Looking forward to your next update.
class of 2021
2020: psych (50)
2021: eng (50) lit (47)

lm21074

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Re: LM's VCE Journey
« Reply #31 on: March 08, 2021, 10:30:10 am »
+7
Entry #I-lost-count-but-it’s-probably-a-single-digit-once-again

T&S
Hi T&S, thanks so much for your insight :) The subject sounds very interesting, especially behavioural neuroscience! All the best with third year biomed :)
vehura
Hey vehura! Haven’t done a reverse parallel park yet (and probably won’t anytime soon haha). Parking can be a difficult skill to acquire so hang in there! You can do it :) I’d really love to figure out the sleep thing too :(
Thanks for your kind words! :)

Short update today. Things (for the lack of a better word) have been looking not so great at the moment. Could be better. Will be better?
TW: discussing poor mental health and negativity
I sit here, writing tear-ily (yes, I did turn that into adverb) as I evaluate deliver a negative whine about the bleakness of my everyday life. A few weeks ago, I was in the shittiest of the shittiest part of the rabbit hole.
I’d describe it like driving on the highway with a giant concrete bollard in my way, cars behind me. No way to get out. Either I leave the block there, lift it up myself, get a crane, or drive hopelessly into it, with the idea of it dispelling, yet end up with damage to my car and myself.

The best option here seems to be to get a crane. So I told my psych about this analogy and they said that because I’ve been struggling like this for a while, I might as well go see my GP for further support. I wish I could just rock up to the GP and things could be better. But how do I tell my parents that my psych recommended that I see a GP? In their days, apparently no one struggled with their mental health, or they’d just grin and bear it.

The weird thing I find about seeing a psych is that I feel like absolute crap before, I talk to them, things feel better for a bit and then they come slowly crashing down again. I just want to feel like myself again but it seems like there’s no way out.

The workload of Year 12 so far is quite a bit too. I know a lot of people who are perpetually behind, and I guess I’m one of them. I said I wouldn’t get behind, but here we are. I’m wondering if my lack of responsiveness to schoolwork is because of my mood and that crap, or if my lack of responsiveness to schoolwork is causing my mood. Or if it’s both.

Had a chem SAC last week. It went utterly crap. Isn’t it weird how in reading time, the questions look easy but then when you start to second-guess yourself, they don’t look easy? I had a bit of a panic attack during that SAC and didn’t finish. I disappointed myself and my teacher. Cheers to that! At least I’ve got 4ish more chances to redeem myself?

My school have also encouraged me (more like pushed me) to apply for rest breaks. I was a bit apprehensive at first, but I really hope they help.

Driving induces quite a bit of anxiety for me too. I’m aware why that’s the case. Having mildly bad experiences behind the wheel have been enough to set me over the edge lately.

What have I become? Why am I reacting this way?

There’s also the impostor syndrome. How do I even have a job? How am I a mod? How do I have friends? When will I be seen for what I am and have all those things taken from me?

Hopefully I’ll be back with a better update next time.
2021: VCE
2022: Science / Arts @ Monash

lm21074

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Re: LM's VCE Journey
« Reply #32 on: June 09, 2021, 10:12:47 pm »
+11
Warning: This post uses the coordinating conjunction, “but”, too many times.


#9


Hello! It’s been a while. And a lot has happened since March.

Tonight was meant to be formal, but instead, I’m here typing away. A lot of me is glad about this. I don’t think I could’ve braved this weather in clothes not made for the season.

A whole term has gone by. What to write. Hmm…

Before I know it, I might be spilling my guts out. Year 12 is messing with my head. I have gotten a lovely bout of why-are-there-so-many-SACs-in-one-week-itis. In my first set of SACs for Term 1, I got the exact same average for every subject and also never finished a test based SAC.

Let’s break it down by subject. I have colour-coded the subjects according to what colors I think they should be.

Chemystery <33

That SAC that I said went utterly crap? The mark ended up better than I thought it would be. I was surprised. My catastrophizing brain instantly said I would fail it and I was genuinely convinced that I would. I’m definitely not one of those people who do better than they think on a regular basis, so that was a nice surprise.

The way I initially took chem notes at the beginning of the year involved handwritten closed-book active recall style notes and although it might have had some benefit in processing the information a bit better, it took a long time to handwrite my notes. I’ve decided to adapt the style over digitally, which makes writing subscripts much less intuitive. We’ll get there. I’ve only had time to do the copying notes from the PPTs and the textbook as of late, but I think once I’ve caught up on the notes I haven’t done because I fell behind last term, I will start the whole system of flipped learning again for chem. That was a long sentence. Anyways, on the topic of chem – I am really enjoying it at the moment. I am surprised that that sentence came out of my mouth. I’ve always tried to see the good in my subjects, which is why I can’t say I dislike any of them.
Chem has its difficult moments but those I will clarify with my teacher, who refreshingly makes the subject really accessible. Why talk in moles when you can talk in Smarties and M&Ms?!!
I had a Chem SAC today, and I guess you could say they were making up for the last one in terms of difficulty. I found it to be, for the most part, less challenging than its predecessor. But yeah. That’s that.

Biology

“Gibberellins” (line 1) is such a cool word. It sounds like it should mean chaotic, nonsensical speech or text masked through expression in a fashionable way. But it’s a plant hormone.
The bio teachers at my school love flipped learning to the point where we have to watch their version of Edrolo, a video of them teaching the lesson, and then come to class and basically do VCAA questions. It has its advantages including its adaptability to online learning, but I can see a lot of people, including myself struggling to adapt to the independent-ness of it all. It’s your choice whether you watch the videos or not and no one is forcing you – kinda like uni lectures (I will get to that in a moment). I do end up watching them, maybe not exactly before each lesson (but who even is ever completely up-to-date with lectures?? :P). The video teaching aside, the bio content is incredibly interesting. U3 AOS 2 >> U3 AOS 1 hahaha. The immune system is cool. Natural killer cells and cytotoxic T cells are particularly fascinating. And the ones that release a net-like structure to capture pathogens. Don’t know what they’re called. Despite that, this unit has taught me that I would prefer to take physiology to uni.

Like chem, the bio SAC I had a few days ago did a bit more justice. It had not too many large blobs of text, unlike the other SAC, or maybe I just understood the content better. My brain can’t do large blobs of text in bio SAC questions for some reason. Of course, there were quite a few interestingly difficult questions, which is typical of my school to do.

Further
The textbook has green on it, but maths is, undoubtedly, a blue subject.

This subject has been a mild whirlwind. It's a nice break from the content-heavy biology, and new-concept-heavy chemistry. A lot of the time, I enjoy it.

In saying that, the first SAC was split up into four parts. Did I finish any of them? No.
A nice benefit of such a SAC with some abstract questions that didn’t reflect most of the VCAA questions I’ve encountered is that the further teachers decided to scale everyone’s marks for that SAC up by five, so effectively the pass mark was lowered to 25%.
Then came the financial and recursion module. At the start, it was going well. Towards the end, I could have almost say the opposite. I felt like I knew nothing. So a bit of revision later, I felt a bit better. Did the SAC and somehow had some time to check over it. Picked up a mistake but who knows how many more there were? I am the guru of silly mistakes when it comes to mathematics. We will see how that goes.

EngLang

Now, this is controversial. English is normally red, maths is blue. But last year, the textbook had yellow on it, and that became my EngLang colour. The yellow is not entirely visible though :(
The first SAC for this subject reflected my strengths and weaknesses. Need. To. Revise. Metalanguage. Thoroughly. But. Too. Overwhelmed. To. Do. So. I guess it is more of a simple fix than fixing up writing. I can’t say I write “goodly” at the moment for this subject. Every piece of writing I submit to my teacher makes me feel ashamed. Almost like I’m going to be judged as a person based on the quality of my writing, like my writing is me (How coincidental, the song I am listening to right now had the lyric, “The only one who’s really judging you is yourself”).

I feel like my teacher does sense this, which is why it seems like they’ve dialled down on the amount of feedback whereas some people have their work grilled, roasted and burnt when it doesn’t deserve that treatment. Overall, I do enjoy this subject for the most part. I’ve always gravitated towards English because of the almost creative freedom it allows, and then I go and choose EngLang. #noragretz.


UMEP
Of course it’s blue. As soon as you enter the page to login to the UniMelb LMS, you are greeted with a mostly blue screen. Psychology itself is definitely not a blue subject. I hope you, reader, can back this assertion up.

Guess who is considerably behind on lectures? Me. Some things happened at the start of the semester which made me abandon the lectures for a while, but I am very much looking forward to getting back into them this weekend. A number of my friends who did uni extension subjects dropped out or are going to drop out of them, and sometimes I wonder if I should too based on my current progress. At the moment, I’m determined to stick it out because I think I’ll really enjoy the rest of the content and the Sem 2 content.
The assignment for this subject was an essay about retrieval practice. We had at least a month to write it, but in true me-fashion, I ended up writing it the night before it was due because of my massive fear of failure and perfectionism. Of course, that mostly backfired, as I didn’t use the potential superpower of perfectionism to my advantage. Based on the amount of time I had to write the essay in, my mark is one of those okay but not great marks. I was obviously disappointed at first, but based on my poor procrastination habit that I’ve never seemed to kick (or maybe executive functioning skills), I am happy with it now. The feedback was fair and useful for my next essay and hopefully beyond. I didn’t realise how unconcise (for the lack of a better word) it was to have brackets in the middle of a sentence. Unfortunately, I still haven’t learnt my lesson.

Other
Excitingly, holidays (a.k.a. two weeks with no teaching but still work) are coming up! I hope I can take a few days to rest and recharge and catch up on that chem stuff that I never got to. Maybe even read a book (or two). When it comes to reading though, I will sit and read a book in one sitting if it’s one that I cannot put it down. That might be the reason why I have only read the first two Narnia books this year.

My mental health has had its ups and downs, but things generally have been better since I had one of the worst breakdowns of the year and maybe even my life. It was funny because on that day, I was crying in the car whilst my dad very calmly drove me around to the car wash and then home. When I started to pay attention to what was happening in front of me, there was my EngLang teacher on the other side of the road riding their bike. Fun times. Thankfully, I was not seen. The SAC was the next day, but I did not care about SACs or school or really anything in that moment.

I also went to see a GP about a month and a bit ago and whilst there she told me that my iron levels were quite low. The iron has been helpful so far, despite the ugly side effects that I will not detail. Now I just have to go for another blood test to see how helpful it has been and work through everything else, then  I’ll hopefully be on my way to the next steps in the whole “getting better” thing.
This update is becoming way too long, so maybe I’ll talk about next year-ish stuff in the next entry.

Overall, I can say: progress.

We’re getting there. Pacing ourselves for those five months until my last exam (!!). It has gone by so fast.

Year 12 has been an interesting journey so far for me. Or should I say rollercoaster?



« Last Edit: June 09, 2021, 10:37:37 pm by lm21074 »
2021: VCE
2022: Science / Arts @ Monash

Bri MT

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Re: LM's VCE Journey
« Reply #33 on: June 10, 2021, 01:51:18 pm »
+4
Thanks for the update!

I have to say, I agree with a lot of your takes on subject colours. Maths is not green. Psych is not blue. I do feel that yellow is a fine eng lang colour (albeit hard to read).

It sounds like things are generally looking pretty up, which is fantastic to hear! :D

tiredandstressed

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Re: LM's VCE Journey
« Reply #34 on: June 15, 2021, 05:01:03 pm »
+6
Glad to here an update!
Sorry, that the essay didn't go the way you wanted for UEMP psych, I remember writing that essay I actually kinda enjoyed writing in an argumentative manner, but as you said this will be a good learning experience!
I'm not sure how UEMP work, but do you sit the exam LOL? I assume you do here is some tips for PSYC10003 if you haven't already finished your exams
- Makes sure to have all your lecture notes summarised in one easily accessible documents, but organise your notes based on the lecture learning outcomes these outcomes is how they stem exam questions
- Learning and memory had the most difficult quesitons since they were most scenario questions with alot of details (i.e. you will spend alot of time reading the stem of the question). There was also emphasis on the practical content so be familiar with the examinable practical content (e.g. stimulus-substitution vs preparatory response theory)
- Make sure to do all the extension activities for learning and memory as they are examinable
- Sensation and perception was probz the easier section, read the questions carefully and be confident will on the content on the lecture slides (i.e. identifying the cues etc)
- Behavioural neuroscience had the poorest of quality of exam questions, there would be 4 answer options that are on unrelated topics and the question would identify the 'correct statement' always drag so be confident in the fine details of this topic as well as the overal message of the lectures. BN also asked alot of questions about the experiments covered in the lectures (so be confident with the results and limitations)
Otherwise good luck!
-T&S
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Snow Leopard

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Re: LM's VCE Journey
« Reply #35 on: June 19, 2021, 07:32:50 pm »
+3
Quote
my iron levels were quite low. The iron has been helpful so far, despite the ugly side effects that I will not detail.
Same!!!!!!!
I'm dying  ;D

dedformed

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Re: LM's VCE Journey
« Reply #36 on: June 29, 2021, 01:45:52 pm »
+3
hellooo

I may have procrastinated a bit and read all of your journal while taking a "break" which has lasted the past two hours (longer than the time I spent working to deserve said break) and boi you write so well! I love your narrator's voice.

Here's a few unsolicited excerpts from the transcript of my paralinguistic features while interacting with your journal.

- reciprocating noises regarding the feeling about “Gibberellins” being such a cool word. Like I could start a band with that name. I remember reading about Abscisic acid (which I still have to google how to spell) and thinking, that sounds like a vsco girl from those 2019 memes abskskskskskskckcsks acid

- dental clicks (is that more prosodic???) at the maths being green. MATHS IS BLUE!

- reciprocating sounds intensified as perusal hit the part regarding choosing Englang despite being creatively oriented. Although it's equally as much fun to analyse speech as it spontaneously erupts in everyday life.

- Hope you get better soon:)

Looking forward to the awesomeness in your future posts:)

*insert fine closing sequence complemented by a dance that seems like I have an bee on my butt*
- Nelope, ghost reading your posts here and there but I've seen you like all my posts within two minutes of me posting all the time haha and I felt guilty for not having expressed that I too, revere your writing.

social purpose: build register, reduce social distance (but still in a covid safe manner). function: to entertain and build rapport too. register: hitting an all time neutral.

« Last Edit: June 29, 2021, 01:48:03 pm by dedformed »
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lm21074

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Re: LM's VCE Journey
« Reply #37 on: August 31, 2021, 05:13:57 pm »
+10
Thanks for the update!

I have to say, I agree with a lot of your takes on subject colours. Maths is not green. Psych is not blue. I do feel that yellow is a fine eng lang colour (albeit hard to read).

It sounds like things are generally looking pretty up, which is fantastic to hear! :D
Thanks for your reply Bri! :) Glad to hear you agree with my subject colour choices! At least someone does haha.

Quote from: T&S
snip
I think you gave me the MBB1 almanac! Thanks for the tips. They were spot on. The exam was pretty much how you said, with S&P being the easiest section and BN with the weirdly phrased questions. Some of the questions on the exam were the same as the practice exams, and the exam was open-book which reduced a lot of the pressure! The essay was definitely a good learning experience - it is always good to have marks allocated to the title, references and formatting.

Same!!!!!!!
I'm dying  ;D
I hope you feel better soon, Snow Leopard. Iron deficiency at any level is unpleasant :(
Quote from: dedformed
snip
Thanks so much, Nelope! You are too kind :) You are an excellent writer and I love reading your journal! Taking a study break that is longer than the time you spent studying is something I do all of time, I'm sure many students guiltily do the same thing - good old procrastination. Abscscscscisic acid is a cool one too. I just have to clarify something here (social purpose) - Further is green, maths is blue. And English is red. Note the use of the verb "is" :D.


Guess who’s back? Back again? Shady’s back. Tell a friend.

I’d like to start by saying those are lyrics to an Eminem song that popped into my head. Interestingly enough, I've managed to write approximately 11000 words of this journal, so I hope I can translate that effort over to my lab report for my uni subject, which requires a measly 1500 words.

It’s Term 3. Term 3 is almost over. So is winter. Now, I will begin to vary the syntactic length, unlike in English Language, where my sentences are way too long, it is almost impossible to read in one breath. Thank goodness for commas.

Ok, enough of the pre-amble. Lockdown has been challenging, especially with the addition of remote learning. On the flip side, I’ve been able to go to work, which has been refreshing. It’s probably been my main form of social contact during this lockdown, and I’ve been able to get to know the people I work with a bit better because there aren’t too many opportunities to talk while working when serving customers.

So far, I’ve had three SACs – a graphs and relations SAC for Further, a SAC on language variation and identity (AOS 1) for EngLang, and a U4 AOS 1 Bio SAC on evolution and the relatedness between species. I’ll start by saying I finished none of them. Lol. Gone are the days where scoring an A+ on a SAC was a not-so-rare occurrence. Well, people are doing that. But sadly not me. I still have six SACs left though, so there are still opportunities. My school makes Bio SACs notoriously difficult. For the last SAC we did, the average was around 40%. I think the highest mark was in the high 80s or low 90s. I am hoping that I can do decently on the exams to make up for my underwhelming SAC performance in all of my subjects, but at this point, I might have to make some sort of drastic change for EngLang to improve my writing, and I’m not sure what that will be. The only feedback I’ve received from my teacher about this is to “keep writing to improve fluency” and I guess that’s the only thing I can do. Engage in a process of learning the theory and metalanguage thoroughly to improve my understanding --> write --> seek feedback --> take feedback on board and implement in next practice. Other people in my class write so well and they make it look so easy!

my VTAC preferences and ramblings about courses. tl;dr: the picture might be big and i'm still sorting out the bottom preferences
This year, I’ve been trying to steer away from the numbers and not constantly use ATAR and study score calculators. My first preference needs an 85 (more on that later) and the highest ATAR requirement on my course list is 95/96. It would be nice to be eligible for all the courses on my list based on ATAR and pre-requisites, but I have formulated multiple back-up plans. My first preference is at Monash, and then Deakin and then Swinburne. I’m also considering putting ACU – went on a campus tour and one of the students told me that to them, lecturers and staff seem to be more engaged with the students than some of the larger unis. If I don’t get into any of my preferences, I will put a Diploma of Nursing at a TAFE and then potentially do the Bachelor of Nursing course or a different course. Doing the diploma will save on HECS debt (free TAFE yay) and give me more experience than just doing the straight bachelor degree. Nursing is one of my options, but I am not set on being a nurse. I’m not set on any career at the moment, which is why I have a double generalist degree as my first preference. My plan is to major in physiology/pharmacology and psychology, and do minors in other biomedical sciences. So my version of the course will pretty much be a science degree with extra units.

I put Science second because I can do most of the units that I want to do in Sci/Arts, and with Arts, I can transfer to Science / Arts or dabble into different arts units. Screen and film studies (I don’t know if that’s what the area of study is called) sounds really fun, and so do bioethics and behavioural studies. Plus, I’ve always wanted to be a polyglot. I’m really apprehensive about doing psychology at Monash because although I love psych, I’ve heard about the bell curve thing and other bad things. Next is Arts/Teaching @ UniMelb. I’ve had a decent experience with UniMelb so far. I would probably transfer into science (and take the methods equivalent level maths) to do a physiology / other biomedical sci major. Side note – a thing I’ve found interesting about my uni subject is, if you have a question about the lecture content, you have to ask in the discussion forum for fairness amongst students.
Next is Psych (Honours) at Deakin. Here I can get the APAC accredited psych major and do some electives to do with biomedical science. Health Science (Professional) at Swinburne is one the careers counsellor was advocating for, because of the paid one-year internship. With the course at Swinburne though, I have to choose between the biomedical science major and psychology and psychophysiology major. There’s always the option to minor in psych with the biomedical science major or do a graduate diploma in psychology. That’s why I’ve also put Psych (Honours) at Swinburne to hopefully be able to get the best of both worlds. Nursing/Psych at Deakin is also a course that interests me, but I’m not sure about the nursing part yet, which is why it’s lower down.

As a kid, I used to play teachers with my sister. I also thought that being a spy or a detective would be super cool – I was a curious kid and wanted to solve mysteries 8). I had a class of toys, a whiteboard with all of their names on it and their classroom duties, along with worksheets they could do. I bought about 25 exercise books (which my little cousins are using as scrap paper now haha) and “marked” their work. I never understood why my teachers complained about marking work. Today, there are things that are making me apprehensive about choosing teaching. The first thing is behaviour management. Some teachers at my school don’t even need to nag students to listen, because they respect them. Others seem so out-of-touch with their students, despite trying to incorporate the word “cringe” into their vernacular, and basketball and Among Us into their “brain break” activities. I’d like to build rapport with students, help them understand difficult concepts and foster a love of learning amongst them. I think it would be cool to do careers counselling alongside teaching (and I’d have a lighter teaching load) or do some other career in education before/during/after teaching.

My interest in healthcare careers started later in life, with me first developing an interest in human biology when we looked at the heart in Year 8. How cool is the human body? I later took HHD and really enjoyed it. Joining St John is where I could put a name on the whole “learning about the biology behind diseases” – pathophysiology. I was always in awe of the work that nurses, doctors and allied health professionals do, using their knowledge of the human body and how it works to improve lives for not only patients, but their families. I wondered, “how did that injection the dentist gave me numb the pain before she pulled out my tooth?” or “why does the doctor feel my glands when I have an infection? (we now know the answer, thanks U3 AOS 2 Bio)”. It is so fascinating. There is quite a bit of detective work, with diagnosing disease and performing different tests to aid diagnosis. There are also so many areas within health to work in, ranging from broad to very specialised.

The problem is, with any of the careers I have on my list, I don’t believe that I am capable of doing any of them, even if the passion is there. I’ve always struggled with both fine and gross motor skills and needed a bit of extra help in primary school to get up to speed with my peers (yet my handwriting is still shocking). The inherent requirements for nursing and other health careers include an entire list of fine and gross motor skills. It isn’t impossible for me to learn these skills, but to get good at them, it would probably take a while and more practice than many of my peers. My mum worked in a nursing home when she was my age, and she learnt the hospital corners way of making beds. It isn’t really the hardest skill out there, but it took me a while to get it. Maybe it was her teaching though ;). With teaching, it’s behaviour management, keeping students engaged and improving that is making me apprehensive. There are a lot of different strategies to work around all of these things I’ve listed though, so I guess I’m holding on.

My indecisiveness and the “I-want-to-study-too-many-things” makes me the perfect candidate for a generalist degree. I’m not really considering physio, osteo, chiro and dentistry because they are pretty hands-on (and also not that broad). Nursing, medicine, pharmacy, sonography, diagnostic radiography and psychology are the health professions I’m considering, with a strong consideration towards becoming a nurse practitioner, doctor or psychologist (probably not clinical though). The only uni in Victoria to offer sonography as an undergrad course is CQU, and the first year of the course is online (not entirely my cup of tea). My compromise, as mentioned above, is to do a generalist degree and then postgrad of something. It will give me more time to figure out what I really want to do and mature a bit more before jumping into the workforce. I still have the non-generalist undergrad courses in my preference list because ultimately, I wouldn’t mind doing them.


In other news, I’m in the process of getting an appointment for an ADHD evaluation. Getting a diagnosis would explain a lot, particularly to do with school and study issues. In the meantime, all I can really do is keep powering through as best as I can :) I'm excited for the holidays after exams so I can finally read all the books I've been wanting to read. All 26 on my list, but make that 23.5 because I've read the first three Harry Potter books and I'm halfway through the fourth. Besides reading, I hope to progress with driving, amongst other things.
« Last Edit: August 31, 2021, 08:52:17 pm by lm21074 »
2021: VCE
2022: Science / Arts @ Monash

lm21074

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Re: LM's VCE Journey
« Reply #38 on: October 03, 2021, 04:16:04 pm »
+10

The stress and chaos of Year 12 continues. I don’t think the year should be as stressful and chaotic as it has been for me. I’m viewing it through a distorted lens of panic, probably because I should have started my revision much, much earlier. Yet, I still decided to take on around 20 hours at work next week, which is seemingly a bit detrimental to my ability to fit in revision at such a crucial period. I hate saying no as well, because I was going to not work until 10 the night before the GAT but then I changed my mind. To decrease my workload, I took leave until the end of the exam period and added a note to my manager to ask for one or two shifts on weekends.

SACs (and uni assignments) are done and now it’s just exam revision. My exam revision is progressing quite slowly, due to a multitude of factors – I’ve been sleeping too much, experiencing a moderate level of anxiety and I’m also just really slow at getting things done. For biology and chemistry, there was some content that wasn’t taught during the teaching period, and were left for the holidays. It took a little while to do the chem stuff, more than anticipated. I think I might just be scheduling too many things for myself to do in a day.

My SACs didn’t go too well this year, especially the ones I completed online. For starters, my school makes weird bio SACs, as I’ve mentioned before. I’m yet to come across a VCAA question asking for the lengths of the DNA fragments in gel electrophoresis. But I did notice something similar to this in the textbook, which made me think I should’ve used the textbook more throughout this year, despite it having a high level of redundancy (at least IMO). It is good to use to gain a better understanding of concepts though. Oddly enough, chemistry has been my best subject this year (maybe because the SACs are not that hard), but I bet that will change when my SAC marks come back. The online SACs I’ve done were quite short and out of not-that-many marks, so I’m hoping I can still maintain a decent ranking. My goal is to make up for my SAC performance on the exams, but my fear of failure is staring at me right in the face. I think I’ll make this an ATAR / study score free journal. I’m not expecting super high marks this year and have realised the importance of being realistic. I’ll just say that I’m aiming to get into my first preference, but of course, I’m still holding onto being a perfectionist, wanting an ATAR that is much higher than that. Even though in the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t really matter. I know it and so many people have told me this. There are so many ways into tertiary study and I know that wherever I end up, it will probably be okay in the end.

For UMEP, my assignment (lab report) was due during a week where I had five SACs, and the week before that I had three. I was encouraged by my psych to get an extension, but after reading the policy for eligibility for an extension, I asked myself whether I should bother applying. There was no way I was going to be able to study for my bio and chem SACs that week and complete the assignment, so I ended up applying for an extension and surprisingly, they granted it (and about ten minutes after I requested it). I finished that assignment in the first week of the holidays and it was liberating. Lab reports (in psych at least) are actually okay to write.

This whole UMEP experience has made me question whether I want to go to uni or whether it is right for me. I don’t know if it’s worth doing sci/arts, because what’s the point? When I put it as my first preference and showed my mum, she told me that I’d be wasting my money, seeing as it doesn’t directly lead to a specific job and that got to me a bit. Am I spending money on useless knowledge that won’t be as helpful in getting me a job as doing something else? There are jobs in science (and arts), but I guess they aren’t as clear cut and specific as doing something like teaching or medicine. But then I think about how interested I am in different subject areas and change my mind. In saying that, I have a feeling that I might just like the idea of uni. I’m questioning if I even like science or psychology as well. As I’ve mentioned before, I’ve heard bad things about undergrad psych at Monash by at least five people I know who have studied it in some capacity, especially in the way the units are run. Also, if I do psych in the arts component of my degree, I’ll only have two units to try other things (because of the professional futures units – basically to try to improve soft skills and workplace readiness). So, I was thinking of doing a diploma of languages on top of my degree and hopefully getting credit for UMEP so I might be able to finish my course in four years instead of five. With those two units, I was thinking of trying out one language and doing a diploma in another. They say if high school is bad, you’ll love uni, and then onto the next thing. What if uni turns out to be mostly shit too? I have conceded that going to uni might just be the better option for me. I’m crossing my fingers that it will all turn out fine.
2021: VCE
2022: Science / Arts @ Monash

lm21074

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Re: LM's VCE Journey
« Reply #39 on: October 27, 2021, 06:41:42 pm »
+13
Hello everyone,

Just a very short update before exams begin for me tomorrow.

This year has gone by quickly. I wish it was June again, minus the freezing weather. By this time tomorrow, I would have completed my first exam. If it goes well, then that's great! If it doesn't go so well, it's not the end of the world. I'll sit with those feelings for a while but then it's onto the next exam. Even if my study scores turn out not how I would've hoped, or my ATAR falls short of my goal or the selection rank to get into my course, there's another way into that course. It will all turn out okay.

My anxiety has been through the roof (fight-flight-freeze response, who?!). It's a pretty ugly cycle, going from wanting to do super well, believing you can't do it or that it's too hard and succumbing to that trap and doing hardly anything. For this, I feel a huge sense of guilt and shame that I think I'll carry for at least a little while until I can truly see this year in perspective. I know that next year, I might not care as much about my ATAR as I do now, but the feeling that I've let myself down will stick with me. I'm holding onto the idea that I can make up for it in uni and that things will be better.

So now, my only goal is to get through these exams. Just do them. Even if I run out of time and not finish.

The other side will still be there.

All the best for anyone sitting exams. You can do this. In the wise words of ashmi, keep looking forward :)
« Last Edit: October 27, 2021, 06:53:07 pm by lm21074 »
2021: VCE
2022: Science / Arts @ Monash

katie,rinos

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Re: LM's VCE Journey
« Reply #40 on: October 27, 2021, 07:18:21 pm »
+4
Good luck for your exam tomorrow lm! Really hope it goes well!  :D
Class of 2017 (Year 12): Advanced English, General Maths, Legal Studies, Music 1, Ancient History, History Extension, Hospitality
2018-2022: B Music/B Education (Secondary) [UNSW]

blueycan

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Re: LM's VCE Journey
« Reply #41 on: October 27, 2021, 08:25:10 pm »
+1
Best of luck, LM!

Commercekid2050

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Re: LM's VCE Journey
« Reply #42 on: October 27, 2021, 08:39:54 pm »
+1
Hello everyone,

Just a very short update before exams begin for me tomorrow.

This year has gone by quickly. I wish it was June again, minus the freezing weather. By this time tomorrow, I would have completed my first exam. If it goes well, then that's great! If it doesn't go so well, it's not the end of the world. I'll sit with those feelings for a while but then it's onto the next exam. Even if my study scores turn out not how I would've hoped, or my ATAR falls short of my goal or the selection rank to get into my course, there's another way into that course. It will all turn out okay.

My anxiety has been through the roof (fight-flight-freeze response, who?!). It's a pretty ugly cycle, going from wanting to do super well, believing you can't do it or that it's too hard and succumbing to that trap and doing hardly anything. For this, I feel a huge sense of guilt and shame that I think I'll carry for at least a little while until I can truly see this year in perspective. I know that next year, I might not care as much about my ATAR as I do now, but the feeling that I've let myself down will stick with me. I'm holding onto the idea that I can make up for it in uni and that things will be better.

So now, my only goal is to get through these exams. Just do them. Even if I run out of time and not finish.

The other side will still be there.

All the best for anyone sitting exams. You can do this. In the wise words of ashmi, keep looking forward :)

Hope your exam goes well
2021 VCE- English, Math Method, Further Math,Accounting and Economics

2022-2026 Bachelors in Business (Taxation) and Accounting in Monash

ArtyDreams

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Re: LM's VCE Journey
« Reply #43 on: October 27, 2021, 09:18:15 pm »
+1
Good luck LM! You've got this, hope everything goes well :)

wingdings2791

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Re: LM's VCE Journey
« Reply #44 on: October 27, 2021, 10:29:11 pm »
+2
LM, good luck!! Build rapport and establish your expertise, you'll do amazing! :)
ATAR: 99.75
UCAT: 95th

2022-2025: B. Radiography and Medical Imaging (Honours) @ Monash