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March 29, 2024, 03:21:42 am

Author Topic: Help please  (Read 394 times)

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Sarahxx16

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Help please
« on: March 26, 2019, 05:49:47 pm »
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I had to write an imaginative text about Australian identity and culture. I tried talking about the Australian dream which I mentioned she has a job and also how she realises what she wants to do in the future . I need some feedback and also I want to know if it’s kinda related to Australian identity and culture.

The sound of a loud psychotic laughter can be heard from one of the customers she is serving waffles to. It’s an typical Monday morning at work, with the usual customers coming in ordering the usuals. Scrambled eggs with crispy bacon and toast or waffles with a lot of whip cream on it, which she doesn’t think is healthy for breakfast. She loves coming to work and putting her golden name tag on which says “ Charlotte” as it gives her something that reminds her of who she is. Talking to one of the customer, Melanie, a 56 year old women who is a widow, comes in every Monday to order chocolate chip waffles with extra whip cream and a shiny red cherry on top. Charlotte is so close to Melanie that Melanie would always tell her stories of when she was younger, how she meet her late husband, how she became who she is.Thinking about it ,she is like a second mother to her.

Beep Beep, her phone vibrates indicating she received a message. A text message popped up from Lucas saying,
“ Happy Birthday Char!!! Your finally 18 which mean you can go clubbing and get a couple of drinks :)” .
Charlotte smiles and quickly replies back saying
 “ haha but it sucks that I have to work on my 18th birthday :(
and presses the send button and returning back to work. She turns around and finds a present wrapped up in red and pink wrapping paper with a blue and white poker dots on the bow. There was a small card with a cute kelpie dog that says “ Happy Birthday Charlotte  - Anonymous” . She opens it and finds a A4 black journal which was empty. She couldn’t think of a reason to use it and even if she did she wouldn’t know what to write. Her life isn’t really anything she could write about , her parents are farmers and her four brothers are still in school while she has no idea what to do with her life.

Not to mention but Lucas has been on her mind lately which is clouded with thoughts of the hot yellow sand, the blue crystal water. She wanted to go to the beach for her birthday.She couldn’t believe he remembered her birthday and she didn’t even remind him and his quite forgetful. They have known each other for a year and three months and they have so much in common such as they both LOVE animals but are terrified of them at the same time, they both love to sing pop songs, play basketball even though she is short  etc. He has been there for her through the toughest time of her life like when her grandpa who has been in hospital constantly passed away. It was so painful that she would constantly cry silently. However she sometimes questions if he is generally the person who he says he is.

Charlotte thought it might of been Lucas who sent her the journal but wasn’t too sure.
It was now time for Charlotte lunch break so she got her hot meat pie and walked to the park across the street from where she works. She sat on a wooden bench, surrounded by kids running around and laughing, dogs playing fetch. She grabbed her meat pie and started eating it. Suddenly, Charlotte feels like a shadow lurking behind her and her heart started beating really fast and her face suddenly turned red feeling anxious. She slightly tilted to the left to not make it obvious for the person if they were there. But all she saw was an old rusted tree swaying side by side beside an broken grey bin. She then turned back to find her meat pie was gone and an envelope that says Charlotte with gold fancy writing on it.The curiosity of who left it there had been eating her up inside. Opening it, it says,
“ Hello Charlotte, I can see your struggling to figure out what you want to do with your life and I can see you don’t know what to do with that journal. Do not worry, I want you to go to 38 hunter street at 5:00pm sharp and you’ll find your answer.” There was also a five second of summer concert ticket and a golden vip pass. Charlotte was really excited to go.

Looking at that, she is debating on whether to go or not and she looks at her watch breathing heavily, realising her break is nearly over. So she heads back to work. Now it’s 4:00 pm and all she’s been thinking about is if it’s even safe or real.. Her shift finishes at 4:00 pm so she got her things and started to ride her old rusty bike to the location she was given. She reaches there at 4:50 pm and all there was, was a homeless shelter for women and children and across the street was where her favorite band, five seconds of summer was playing. She was dying to see them and there was a ticket stuck inside an ticket.

Without hesitation, she headed inside the shelter and that’s when everything changed. There was so many women from different culture, different ages and children  in a small tight room with only 16 double beds. The conditions were terrible with  green mold on the walls, lights flickering  but yet they all still looked happy. A little girl ran up to Charlotte and gave her a tight hug and giggles. Charlotte smiled and asked her what’s her name. She said “ Melanie” and she was around 5 years old.

Later on, Charlotte has been there for over three hours talking to Melanie and her mother. The stories they have told was absolutely devastating and they have been traumatised by their experiences. Melanie started writing drawing pictures of Charlotte, herself and her mother. That gave Charlotte an idea on what to write in her journal.

Every single Monday, and Thursday, Charlotte went back to visit and Melanie’s mother would help her write her book called “ The story of the mother and daughter”. She finally knew what she wanted to do with her life and how to appreciate the people in your life even if they don’t seem to care about you.

On Monday, Charlotte took Melanie and her mother to where she works to make them breakfast. Charlotte looks at Melanie who ordered waffles with a lot of whip cream and a cherry on top and was amazed. Charlotte then looked next to her and saw her regular customer who was exactly an older version of Melanie.