penelope's (attempt at a) VCE journal

[humanbeing]

I got really crap (I think?) GAT scores? I don't understand what 'scaled' and 'raw' scores mean though.

In the e-mail you got, in the table, there's "raw" scores and "standarised" scores.

[homeworkisapotato]

Hey!! CONGRATULATIONS for those amazing scores in Bio and EI! So proud and happy for you <3
Have a brilliant holiday!

[whys]

Penelope!!!!

A massive congratulations on your scores!!! I'm so happy for you - you worked hard this year and you've got some pretty sexy scores to prove it. The 'I could have worked harder' is super relatable, and I feel like no matter how much you study, you'll always come out of the year thinking you should've and could've done more (at least, this is how I always feel ). Sometimes we don't get what we expect at all, and it's okay. Your mindset is brilliant though - and that EI score is super inspirational!

How did you manage to have a timer and not die of impatience and nerves? I'm truly astounded. All I did was pretend the 30th of December didn't exist . Don't worry too much about the GAT - those scores barely matter despite the hullabaloo about the fact that they're supposed to matter more this year, but I really don't think the GAT 'moderated' my study scores anyway.

All the very best for year 12 and beyond. Have a wonderful 2021!

[eloisegrace]

Hey Penelope!!
Congratulations on your bio and EI scores, they are incredible 🤩

I think you have worked super hard to get those results even if you don’t think so ❤️

Also, dw about the GAT, I did absolutely awful in one of the sections but it really doesn’t effect your SS if you do the exam so it’s fine! My study scores were both better than all 3 of my GAT sections

[angrybiscuit]

Penelope,
Massive congrats on your achievements. To do them in year 11 and during COVID is incredible
There will always be regret, even if you achieved perfection so let that feeling slide away. But it is perfectly normal.

Good luck for next year and for your holiday studies

[dedformed]

replies

Hey!! CONGRATULATIONS for those amazing scores in Bio and EI! So proud and happy for you <3
Have a brilliant holiday!

Thanks Potato! Your scores are incredible too! Cant wait to see how our paths unfold

Penelope!!!!

A massive congratulations on your scores!!! I'm so happy for you - you worked hard this year and you've got some pretty sexy scores to prove it. The 'I could have worked harder' is super relatable, and I feel like no matter how much you study, you'll always come out of the year thinking you should've and could've done more (at least, this is how I always feel ). Sometimes we don't get what we expect at all, and it's okay. Your mindset is brilliant though - and that EI score is super inspirational!

How did you manage to have a timer and not die of impatience and nerves? I'm truly astounded. All I did was pretend the 30th of December didn't exist . Don't worry too much about the GAT - those scores barely matter despite the hullabaloo about the fact that they're supposed to matter more this year, but I really don't think the GAT 'moderated' my study scores anyway.

All the very best for year 12 and beyond. Have a wonderful 2021!

Thanks whys! I don't like waiting for things, I really wanted to face my scores regardless of how I did - I'm really impatient lol. "Hullabaloo" is the perfect way to describe how everyone was going nuts practising for the GAT (especially for EI) because it apparently counted so much. VCAA never fails to surprise.

Hey Penelope!!
Congratulations on your bio and EI scores, they are incredible 🤩

I think you have worked super hard to get those results even if you don’t think so ❤️

Also, dw about the GAT, I did absolutely awful in one of the sections but it really doesn’t effect your SS if you do the exam so it’s fine! My study scores were both better than all 3 of my GAT sections

Thanks eloisegrace! There's always "I could have done more" but it's important to own my scores, even if they're lower than how I wanted them to be.

Penelope,
Massive congrats on your achievements. To do them in year 11 and during COVID is incredible
There will always be regret, even if you achieved perfection so let that feeling slide away. But it is perfectly normal.

Good luck for next year and for your holiday studies

Thanks! I find that the regret will fuel my motivation to do better, so while it's sometimes sad to look at, there's so much I learnt this year that I can implement to make my learning in Year 12 more effective.

I decided to spice up the formatting for my Year 12 journal. Just trying to make it look fancee (read: procrastinate more on ATARnotes).

Year 12, Episode 1: Fresh Start. 

she's reflecting on 2020 VCE outcomes
I'd been waiting for my study scores for days. I legit could not stop talking or thinking about them. I knew they'd come out early, so I kept refreshing my inbox. My friend, who I'd been studying with the whole year, texted me. When they said they were out, my stomach rumbled. I felt sick and my arms got shaky. My heart was racing like crazy and I clicked on the email.

Two numbers.

They're not that bad. Not disappointed, but at least I didn't get below 40 (which was my biggest nightmare because I wanted these two to be my best subjects - below 40 aren't bad scores, they're just a lot lower than what I would have liked. Everyone has different goals).

Then I went back to discord and saw what my friend said about their grades. I was devastated. This friend studied for the exams with me. They were acing the trials. They were (pretty surely) close to Rank 1. Everyone expected a 50, never would I have thought we'd get the same score or myself get higher than them.

But it happened.

That gave me a bit of imposter syndrome. I felt like I didn't even deserve a 42 (even if it was lower than what I expected). My school's Biology cohort stuffed up big time. The highest was in the mid 40s (compared to multiple 50s in previous years). Very few people got 40+. My friends were disappointed big time. We don't know what happened.

In the year there were a couple of times when my teacher accidentally rewarded me marks for questions I got wrong. When I kept telling him to change them at the SAC review at the end of the year, the teacher got annoyed and told me they knew what my performance was like. Now I can't help feeling like my grade is unfairly high, even though I was idealising 45+. Even if it didn't change things that much, I keep wondering if I deserve my Biology grade.

On the other hand, EI was a surprise. I told myself I wasn't anticipating anything but seeing how I felt on seeing the 43, I guess I was expecting a lot. I'm not disappointed by my score but, like Biol, I wanted it to be in my top four.

But it iz what it iz.

she's looking forward to crapping her pants
Guys. What. The. HEck. It's 2021. How. How can this happen? I still remember 2011 (read in old lady sounds). I still remember 2001. Maybe not 2001.

But like, woah. I'm turning 18 this year. I'm actually in Year 12. It's gonna be a long year. A deciding year for my first career pathway. It's not the be all end all, but it is something. There's excitement. There's purpose. There's nerves and crapping bricks. There's going to be emotional rollercoasters, probably some unexpected grades. Perhaps my preferences for Uni will change. Who knows?

I'll be learning to drive. I still haven't got my Ls yet (haha, what a sad story but COVID didn't let me book at 17 and I was a dumbass in Year 10 so I didn't apply for the test). I'm sitting the test (finally!) in late March (which was the only available time for the next four months in my area.

This is a new year though. I want it to be kinder than 2020. I want to be a better person. I liked how whys put it on their journal so I'm stealing the quote.

Congratulations to the classes of 2020 and 2021, we did our exams and got through this year. It’s a new day, and a new year. A blank slate to rewrite another chapter of our lives.... there is a whole new world awaiting us - a new beginning

she's setting goals for 2021
I don't want to stress this year. I want to keep learning and be a good VCE student. Maintain social relationships and leadership.

Honestly, all I want out of this year is to be more hardworking, resilient and a medical student. For the former, that's self development that will be thrust upon me if I survive 2021. For the latter, I don't care what uni takes me. I just want medicine. Never have I ever wanted to do something more passionately. I just want to be a surgeon. For now, it's the only way I see myself being useful to society and satisfied with myself. I don't have a specific ATAR in mind. I want to try my best. I don't think I can hit 99.95 but that doesn't mean I cant dream about it.

As for my subjects, I obviously need to work hard to push Biology and EI into my bottom two (or get kicked out if I do UMEP).
I am expecting to do best in Chemistry (I love science) but who knows (see attachment),
then English Language, then Spesh,
then .... (x100),
then Methods.

methods note

[(Because I repeated Methods, this time around I put minimal effort in it and studied for other subjects during class. First time around I was an A+ student. This time I'm surprised I even passed my U2 exam. I think it's also because it was the day before the Biology exam but still, my confidence has gone down a lot. I hope my outlook for Methods changes. I like Spesh a lot more, and I don't know why).

For UMEP expectations, I don't know what to think, so I'm excluding it from VCE goals. I'm doing UMEP more for University experience. I've always been interested in Philosophy but I can't say I'm good or bad at it until I experience it. The assessments are all like mini EI reports, which I'm looking forward to a lot. I loved EI. If I could do it again (like, have it count twice to my ATAR) I would probably pick it up.


Overall, I can't wait for 2021 and to get right into the real world. VCE is going to be annoying but I'm gonna look back at it in 20  years and laugh about myself being a dumbass. It's okay. I'm ready to face it.

[Evolio]

Hey Penelope! 

I just wanted to say: a big congrats on your amazing results! You've worked incredibly hard and I'm so happy that it's come to fruition.

All the best for year 12!

[dedformed]

Hey Penelope! 

I just wanted to say: a big congrats on your amazing results! You've worked incredibly hard and I'm so happy that it's come to fruition.

All the best for year 12!

Thanks bean! I congratulate you on your scores as well! I wish you the best of luck with your uni endeavours

Year 12, Episode 2: Undiscombobulating. 

This is da week when school starts so I thought to do a little reflection on how my Year 12 prep is going.



Question: How is my year 12 prep going?
Answer: No.

So yeah, that's out of the way.

goals in detail

1. Do UCAT prep. I've bought a whole UCAT textbook and only completed about 1/3rd of it so far. I want to spend at least 1 hour everyday in the holidays to finish this book so I can move on to the legitimate UCAT website practice exams. - Did I do the book? Haha no. I did purchase medify however and did about a 1500 questions. While that does sound like some work, it's really not when one question is about half a minute. I only really focussed on QR because that was my worst section at the start (now it's my best lmao, but it's still not good enough). I want to sit a mock this week and see how much I improved.

2. Do more art. I love painting and drawing and I want to get better at sketching things from weird perspectives. I suck at creating depth, so I'm gonna try focussing on that. Maybe I could add a little art to my journal.
I did heaps of this. Art is my creative outlet and it's my emotional outlet. I even created an art journal and an instagram art account lol.

3. Do more course research. Obviously I must strive for med like my life depends on it but also, there's good chances I'll disappoint myself. I want to have a proper backup plan. Also in terms of med, I want to have a clear cut idea of my application (even get started on some) so I'm not worrying about that later in the year, when I should be worshipping exams. Did this as well. Even though it isn't as highly ranked, JCU's medical program is so appealing to me. It's not because of the UCAT or whatever, it's just cool to work in a rural environment. I was reading up some journals on MSO and how much more intense the practical aspects of rural medicine are - I would love to study med there.

4. Not watch more than 1 kdrama episode a weekday and 2 on weekends. This one is going to be hard. I don't want to take away the freedom of entertaining myself completely, but I need to be able to control myself to do that without failing. Because of my emotional mess I didn't even bother watching anything lol. I can't say I didn't break this rule, but honestly I don't even remember what I watched and how many episodes I watched. Like I said, it feels strange to me that school's starting this week - I don't feel like I got to experience these holidays. It feels like a blurrrr.

5. Work more on my little self research project (I'm doing a little research thing on the place where I'm from so I know more about the history of my culture (it's so sad that I know so little and the information is quite hard to find)). This started well, but wasn't finished. Early December I did some readings but it wasn't intense. Although I did have some conversations about etymology with my grandparents over the phone. Languages never fail to mind boggle me - how can something be so obscurely systematic? There's such cool patterns in the languages I speak and the etymology of words never fails to amaze me. You know that moment when you're trying something but it doesn't work and then somehow things magically work when you try to show someone? There's a word for that in my language.

6. Work on a podcast. Two of my friend circles want me to collaborate with them on a podcast. It's not gonna be huge but I think it's cool stuff. Maybe it's not going to happen at all but I can try. lol

7. Run at least once a week. I do not exaggerate when I say I get short of breath walking to the  fridge to get my mac n cheese. Not good enough. I'm the least sportiest (edit: least sportiest? Are you okay Penelope?) person on the planet and I must fix that. Very successful. This is the most active I've been in my whole life. Although I kinda die after 2km, at the start of last year I couldn't even run up the stairs without deflating my lungs.

8. Increase my Indigenous awareness. As someone who's from another country where land was taken forcefully and our language removed from curriculum, I understand the importance of understanding the value of traditional custodians of a place. I'm a migrant to Australia and that means I must put in at least some effort to improve my awareness of Indigenous Australian issues. Less importantly, if I apply to James Cook University I might need that knowledge anyway since it's going to involve working in rural and Aboriginal communities. Kind of worked because I was quite invested in JCU research. I didn't do a LOT of research but I learnt a few things.

9.Work a little bit on U3 AOS 1 content of subjects (at least familiarise myself with the topics). I've noticed I could work as a comedian. I tell good jokes.

10. Start doing English Language practice exams. I know it's a bit early but I LOVE linguistics, so I could put that love to good use. I could incorporate so much metalanguage into my research project. jokes on me, everyone.

the rant
In all honesty, these weren't the most productive or the best holidays of my life. I spent half of them stressfully waiting for Dec 30 (I tried really hard to keep it off my mind but I really couldn't).
The other half I spent waiting for another fam issue to be resolved. Although no physical effort was involved in all of this, I was dragging the days, sleeping to kill time. I couldn't engage with anything properly, and while my problems could be a lot worse, they're still problems, and I guess I'm still learning how to cope with life lol. I've been in this state of shock and confusion. It feels like time just blurred away and I'm so disoriented. Every day feels like it's just wasted and I'm still so behind. The thing about not being productive is that the guilt makes you go, hey, we've come so far doing nothing; what is more effort gonna do? and that's a loophole I'm trying to get out of. I've done my holiday hw (for the most part, at least), but I didn't do much "getting ahead" and studying AOS1 for everything.


the resolution
- Write a reflection to figure out what the holy-cow-that's-outta-this-world is going on. - feel so much better about this already.
- I need to suck it up, complete my holiday homework before school starts (honestly it's gonna take me three hours max. It's like two spesh exercises that I've been delaying too long)
- Perhaps take a shower.
- Sit a mock UCAT to see how much I've improved, if I've improved at all. um no i haven't
- Sleep early this week to restore my sleep schedule.
- Return to normal state before school starts so I can kick Year 12's butt (and quite possibly break my foot in the effort).

Sounds like a decent plan.

[dedformed]

Year 12, Episode 3.
Function: to express cHAOS. 

Hello beans (phatic)
So much work kids, I can't bring myself to write a proper journal entry, and I haven't even started my UMEP yet! I thought I'd post something here because reflections are still productive heheheh (just one of the excuses I give myself so I don't have to work). (informal register)

How's my year 12 been so far? (phatic again, or maybe the social purpose is to build rapport with regular journalers? is that a word? - rising intonation)

SuPER busy. (paralinguistic "PER" to emphasise)

I love it! Not gonna lie I love having a dynamic schedule where I'm always up to something and learning new things. It's been a bit tough to keep up sometimes (like I might spend 4 hours on  spesh exercises (diminutive  aghhh I can never spell it right), get up to date only to have two more hours of work thrust upon me). I'm never up to date, which means nothing is ever enough. It's a constant prioritising game. (simple, short sentences).

So far I'm not regretting any of the subject choices I made. I remember thinking in the holidays that spesh might be too much for me but even though it's got the highest workload so far, it's the subject I enjoy the most. That dopamine when I finally understand a question after staring at it for half an hour - yes, just understand, not solve - that keeps me going (spontaneous, unpremeditated, almost like spoken text).

Chemistry is also fun. A lot of people hate chemistry but I think it's such an interesting subject. I love seeing materials around me interact and knowing why my omelette isn't sticking to the tefal pan. It's strange how intricate the details of the universe are, and Chemistry is like breaking the lines down. It's made me consider pathways such as pharmacy or even biochemistry as backups (med still tops it, I miss you, Biology, if you were a person we'd be conjoined twins) (humour? is humour a discourse feature?)

Methods. Um. Idk methods. It's meh. It's been the least stimulating subject so far and spesh outshines it, making it look uglier.

English language is my bean. We have a new teacher and he's a legend. Why you ask?

- he says my name correctly (Asian names thing hehe)
- he respects student input into his teaching and constantly has been modifying the course to our liking.
- he's a millennial and he knows his stuff
- he says "cringe" a lot and his icebreakers are actually not cringe.
- he gives us time to pack up before bell time so we're not fidgeting with stuff as he talks DO YOU REALISE HOW GENIUS THAT IS?

Even without him, Eng lang is still bean. Linguistics has always intrigued me - it's like the Chemistry of words. Like I said for chem, I love understanding how things come together and language has beautiful systems within itself.

So far my workload has been manageable to a point where I can go to bed at 10pm, wake up at 4 and do all my work in the morning (because I live almost two hours away from school, I'm too tired to do things in the afternoon). I don't know how I'll manage with the UMEP, but I do have some frees in the day that could be used more productively.

UCAT prep has been decent. I've gotten a bit better but I still suck. I'm trying to treat it like a subject but it always gets pushed down to the bottom if I have too much on my list. I've been using a diary to keep track of my tasks and boi does it help. 10/10 recommend it.

*phatic talk again*
a penelope that rhymes with cantaloupe. (phonological patterning, typical of informal conversation)

[swyic]

Hey Penelope,

First of all, I'd like to thank you for annotating your text for me, now I don't have to when I write my AC. Your journal is intriguing, and for linguistic purposes I'd like to ask what "bean" means in this context. To my understanding, as a fellow EngLang student, EngLang is not a legume (though I could be wrong). So when you describe EngLang as a bean, I take it to mean metaphorically- but how so?

Glad to see you're liking chemistry by the way- it's objectively the best science because bio is too easy and physics is too hard really fun to go into detail (but not too much ahdfaksfljsd physics) about how the universe works. May I ask what your favourite element is and why? I feel like that is a question that doesn't get asked enough.

-- Sawyer

[dedformed]

Hey Penelope,

First of all, I'd like to thank you for annotating your text for me, now I don't have to when I write my AC. Your journal is intriguing, and for linguistic purposes I'd like to ask what "bean" means in this context. To my understanding, as a fellow EngLang student, EngLang is not a legume (though I could be wrong). So when you describe EngLang as a bean, I take it to mean metaphorically- but how so?

-- Gmorning,Sawyer


Ahahah this gave me a good chuckle.

Englang is, in fact, not a legume - I do apologise if that is offensive or disappointing to anyone here.

The complex nature of language is indeed intriguing. By colloquial (or slang, if you may) terms, "bean" is an endearing vocative. Here's the urban definition:

"used as a term of endearment, a bean is an adorable individual, usually smol and in need of many a cheek pinch and playful giggle"

Informal texts often portray word play and metaphor, and in this context, in my infatigable love for the subject, I personified "Englang" enough for it to deserve  a vocative.

Glad to see you're liking chemistry by the way- it's objectively the best science because bio is too easy and physics is too hard really fun to go into detail (but not too much ahdfaksfljsd physics) about how the universe works. May I ask what your favourite element is and why? I feel like that is a question that doesn't get asked enough.

Yes I love the facts - "objectively the best science", no there bias at all -

But I don't disagree hehe.

Sorry to say but I don't have a favourite element. They're like my children, how could I love one more than another? I love every atom of them, with their moles and their zits, though some do think they're more noble than others. Sodium is a bit salty so that agitates me sometimes but my love follows ideal gas laws and has a uniform volume across the board.

[homeworkisapotato]

HEY BEAN!

UCAT prep has been decent. I've gotten a bit better but I still suck.

It hurts how much I relate to that ahahaha. Which section are you the best and worst at? When people ask me that I'm like '...I'm crap at everything lmao.'

I love chem too! It sounds like you're having so much fun in Eng Lang rn and your teacher sounds so cool damn, makes me wish a little that I also did Eng Lang ahaha.

Have a great week!

[dedformed]

Year 12, Episode 4.
Social purpose: to find purpose. 

Hello people that are somehow interested in my boring life,

I thought I'd write another update because I'm procrastinating (I can hear you sigh, I do this often as you may have realised) and this might help me get back on track.

How am I feeling about year 12?
It's actually less intense than some of my previous experiences with high school... Yet, at least. I'm only doing four subjects (I started UMEP this week, but we're still in an intro phase so the workload is very subtle) - which means I have ten frees a week. My productivity during these 500 minutes (woah, that's so much time now that I think of it!) is certainly questionable.

I'm going to keep this brief, so here we go:

tl;dr: I'm just living. Existing. I'm letting time do its thing. I'm putting work where needed (or where I can, at least). The process isn't 100% efficient but I'm getting some energy out of it anyway. I just want to get past this year so I have more to worry about than a number that quantifies my effort and the emotional rollercoaster that everyone makes out of this year.

the longer read

UCAT: I've gotten better, but I still suck. This kid in my class so me practising for UCAT during lunchtime and he assumes I'm smart now? He asks me for advice and I'm like 'yo im very inept i don't know how i can help you' but I don't know how to say it nicely. Everyone I talk to is so stressed about the UCAT. Literally all my friends are sitting it and the competition is wild, which scares me a bit. I get 10 minutes on each section in each day, which I know is not enough, but it's something. I hope to get better at things during the holidays. I can't believe I can make a booking for it already, time flies!

Englang: Love this subject like I said before. I have a SAC coming up soon and we did a drill on it yesterday, which I absolutely smashed, raw 50 for the win, I'm totally doing well... Not. I ran out of time and I seriously need to get some metalanguage cleared up before the SAC. We'll see how that goes.

Spesh and Meths: Nothing to say here, just working with the content.

Chem: Had my first SAC a while back. I think I did okay, minus the parts where I doubted myself (which just happens to be the whole SAC). I'm not overthinking it though. Last year I cried over SACs too much (literally, I was so disappointed in myself for Bio) and it wasn't even worth it. I just need to do what I can, and look at the feedback rather than the numbers I'm getting. It is what it is.

UMEP: we're learning about the demarcation problem. It's so weird to do philosophy. All my readings mention things that are so obvious and logical yet somehow seem like nobody ever acknowledges them. I'm really looking forward to this subject because a) there's like 4 assessments this semester (and another four next sem but that's if I pass lmao) and they're all take home essays.

sorry if I've been inactive. I've been ded.

[homeworkisapotato]

Hey dedformed! Sorry for the very late reply ahaha I totally relate to the fact that I am also just living. My life literally revolves around VCE, UCAT, and sleeping. Don't worry dude because my UCAT also sucks and I'm at my wit's end. Your UMEP sounds so interesting, what's your favourite subject so far other than that?

[dedformed]

Year 12, Episode 5.
Semantic field: barren. 

ATARnotes gave me a warning that "this topic has not been posted in for at least 30 days", questioning my authority here. So I figured, mayhaps, I could poke in and give testament to my literal alive-ness, even if figuratively that is questionable.

Now reading that you might think I'm in some slump. Which is true, but not to a heavy extent. I've just been a little bit disappointed in how bad I am at sticking to routines.


For English Language, we had our first SAC last term. I did super well on the practice one, my teacher was so excited from my writing and he kept telling me he was impressed. And so I worked the best I could, expecting to do equally well on the real task.
And guess what didn't happen.
I'm not disappointed in my score - it was still decently above the average, but I know (and I could see that my teacher knew) that it didn't reflect things the way it should have. I felt like I'd disappointed him, and it felt like a massive loss. Yesterday I sent him a practice sac for another upcoming assessment - the Analytical commentary - and I only managed a similar percentage as my previous SAC. Of course, there's room to improve, and I have about a week until the SAC but still, there's that disheartening feeling of putting in effort and it coming across as futile. At this rate I have begun doubting my abilities in Eng lang. I just hope I can incorporate all the feedback from the practice SAC into my skillset thoroughly so I get better.

Then there's Chemistry. I like Chemistry. It's bae. Like, every time I get a question right, the dopamine just comes flooding. It's basically carrying me right now. I love the content, and the maths all makes sense to me. The calculations are just like the quantitative reasoning section of the UCAT. I've had two SACs thus far and I've been in the okay-ish zone for both of them.

And maths. I really don't understand why I chose spesh, but I don't regret it. It's draining, boi, the amount of work I have to do to understand simple things is insane. But I like doing it, so I don't mind. I haven't been assessed on it yet, and I don't expect to be at the very top of this subject, but I would like to try my best. I genuinely enjoy the maths, and yeah, there's a scaling aspect to it, but I doubt I would benefit from it given that if I'd done something like psych I'd probably end up at the same moderated score. Methods is easy peasy at the moment (perhaps I believe so due to the stark comparison between meth and spesh lol).

UCAT prep has been going decently. I started the holidays thinking 'OH HELL YEAH let's smASHH 2000 questions' but current me says sike. I did about 800 questions, but I figured, it's lowkey fun. Timed practice is almost like this game where you're trying to get as many points as possible. And some of the VR passages are very, very interesting. I've been learning about the randomest things and the urge to start my own pad brand with VR exercises on it (like liaising with Libra) is quite intense, hmu if you're into entrepreneurship or wanna fund my business.

I'm sitting the UCAT in the second half of the July holidays, but not on the last day. I picked that day because it gives me enough time to prep in the holidays - I didn't want to sit it during Term 3 because my practice would be disrupted by school stuff - and enough time to recover from the massive mental breakdown I'll have afterwards.

Also, yes, I dropped UMEP. I loved the content - I attended for two weeks, but then I realised the amount of work that was going in wasn't gonna push my ATAR up, and at the moment I want to maximise my aggregate as much as possible. Yes, I'm playing strategically, but also, isn't everyone? That's just how the system is and as much I wanna make this year about learning rather than marks, I know deep inside that it's really just putting all of us on a standardised conveyor belt and VCAA doesn't care crap about how thorough our ~learning experience ~ is per se.

About term 2, I'm kinda excited to get pumping and rolling. I just hope I can manage my time wisely and see where it takes me. At this stage, I'm looking at ATARcalculator with my current SAC progress and thinking, this is tough. I don't see myself having a good chance but you know what? I won't put a number on my effort yet. I need to put in what I can right now and see where it takes me.

Medical school, if you were a person, you'd be like my celebrity crush. I buy all your merch and stalk your profile and followers everyday, but you don't even know I exist yet. lol.

Good luck with term 2 to everyone! I'm probably not gonna write another update for a long time. I was expecting myself to interact with everyone else's journals and be like an active poster like the cool people, and maybe make some actual friends. I don't think that's gonna happen lol.