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May 19, 2021, 04:11:07 am

Author Topic: English Extension 1 Essay Marking  (Read 31477 times)

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elysepopplewell

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Re: English Extension 1 Essay Marking
« Reply #75 on: June 17, 2017, 06:10:30 pm »
Yes I would like to get it marked still !

Thanks.

No worries marcus! Comments are attached below :)
Spoiler
The individual’s pursuit of truth was inextricably linked to the natural world during the Romantic period. Evaluate to what extent this statement reflects the perspective in your core text and one related text.

Ensuing the Age of Enlightenment’s process of scientific reasoning, a Romantic movement emerged. Central to new-found ways of thinking, and fundamental to the conceptualisation of free thought and nature’s relevance in pronouncing the deeper, sub-textual meaning of humanity. Lord Byron’s 1816 poem Darkness, emphasises the pantheistic role nature plays in man’s pursuit of veracity and its linkage in understanding life’s purpose in the face of death. Similarly, Mary Shelley’s 1818 Gothic Novel, Frankenstein, explores the uniqueness and the jeopardies arising from an unbounded quest for ingenious virtuosity. Through nature’s role in developing truth within, and for the individual, coinciding with the notion of sublimity and its significance in shaping candour these thematic concerns forebode a parallel, interrelationship. I like this, There's literally no waffling, it's to the point, really strong.

The complex notion of individualism is concurrent with veracity’s formation of humanity. Romantics valued the oneness of human life intertwined with a unification of human experience through the realistic traits nature offers man. Shelley’s Frankenstein epitomizes the idea of truth through the scientific paradigm, whereby Victor is symbolic of the Age of Enlightenment’s rational ways of thinking. Hence, in his pursuit of a ‘logically true creation’ we witness an intricate link between the natural and metaphysical world. Driven by a desire to highlight sagacities role in natures evolution Victors conjures the plans to create what will become an abomination of the biological world. I'm just going to point out that at this part of the paragraph, we've not yet had any analysis. Up until the second last sentence I was thinking this is ok, but the last sentence for me had me wondering "when does the analysis start?" You do get to the point right after I had these thoughts, so it's ok...but if you have the opportunity to revise and refine this bit, I would just to see if condensing it works, or if you can connect this last sentence with some analysis.His instincts of philosophical rationality can be interpreted from the hyperbolic recount of Victor’s naïve years “I had not been content…with the results…of natural science…and exchanged the discoveries…for the dreams of modern philosophy”. However, contrasting to his interpretation of what genuine livelihood embodies is the creature which is characterized characterised* by the dominant traits of romanticism through its harmonious response when surrounded by the physical world. Subsequently, it is obvious that Shelley has interwoven the impact pursuit of rational truth has on the realistic outcomes nature ultimately forebodes. Thematically we are presented with the contextually contemporary concern of individualism which was treasured by the Romantics but despised by their rational counterparts. Throughout the progression of the novel the creature comes to stand as an extended metaphor for humanities humanity's* ignorance and inability to accept the inevitable truth of change. This is highlighted when he suggests “Did I request thee, Maker, from my clay to mould me Man, did I solicit thee from darkness to promote me?” this dichotomising the story of ‘Adam and Eve”, This doesn't seem to make sense, maybe it needs "this dichotomising OF"? I'm not sure what you're trying to say. specifically Adam’s apologies for his sins. Here the monster pictures himself as a tragic figure, primarily shown through the religious iconography and allusiveness to his alikeness of both Satan and Adam. Rhetorical questions fortify the confusion of the monster’s mentalities and his foist of Victor’s choice to pervade natures barriers for true science. Consequently, Frankenstein comes to symbolise Satan through the sacrilege of his attempt to arrogate God’s power and bend the authentic process of natural evolution. Furthermore, the pathetic fallacy manifested in “a dreary night of November” foreshadows Frankenstein’s forthcoming demise due to his unruly desire to overcome natures laws. Aiding this is “I saw the dull yellow eye of the creature open… and a convulsive motion agitated its limbs”; here visual imagery alludes to further negative connotations, and the reader comes to the realisation that Victor’s choice to avail truth has resulted in an unfixable mistake. Consequently, he decrees “the beauty of the dream vanished”, in turn elucidating the philosophical enigma of Romanticism. His ardent, enigmatic psyche correlates with the bizarre powers of nature. Romantics rejected the absolutes of scientific thought in its attempt to reduce nature’s answers validity. Thus, Shelley’s Frankenstein exemplifies the inseparable connection the natural world evokes when resonating with the notion of truth. Link back to way of thinking: what do people think about the notion of truth? Is it being challenged or agreed with?
Human experience is central to the romantic ideal of truth through its illustration of nature’s pertinence to man’s survival and sense of self. So far your essay has a lot of direction - it's really going forward in a way that I can easily organise and understand! Lord Byron’s Darkness tackles humanities degradation, through a post-apocalyptic description of earth in order to challenge societies ignorance relating to nature’s significant role in sustaining genuine life and developing truth. Composed in the Year Without A Summer, whereby the world was succumbed in volcanic ash clouds, Byron cultivates a sense of irony and metaphorical substance in the title of this poem. “Darkness” itself expounds on the fear and uncertainty striking society contextually. Thus, the bleak, gloomy mood is symbolic of the dangers incited when forgoing nature’s bliss in the industrial metropolis which ultimately disregards core ways of Romantic thinking. Aiding such This makes sense, I just don't know that the wording is appropriate for this essay. I'm being picky with this,
 but I think there are better expressions you could use than "such" for this section.
is the paradoxical remark of “I had a dream, which was not at all a dream” here true existence is intertwined with an elusive reality. Subsequently, Byron’s perplexing tone prompts the audience to query the corruptive demeanour of humankind within the natural world as civilisations consecutively and continually overlook their genuine existence with scientific and rational progression. Therefore, within the philosophical paradigm the notion of truth is presented with an inseparable linking to nature- If hu*mankind relentlessly questions the truth of his existence, nature will undoubtedly suffer and with it humanity fails. Developing this interpretation is the visual imagery in ‘the bright sun extinguished…and the stars did wander darkling in the eternal space’ which highlights a world without order, living environments and actuality itself. Consequently, the ambiguous persona, demonstrates the literal meaning as overpowering darkness and the end of times. However, a subjacent angle indicates the self-destruction man experiences in an unrealistic pursuit of truth above pantheistic laws. As a result, Byron had conjured a world lacking in Romantic ideals, thus accentuating the human experiences need for an authentic understanding of idealism, creativity and individualism. But how does this link to ways of thinking? An understanding of idealism prompts what kind of way of thinking? Additionally, the amplification of contextual fears through the pathetic fallacy of weather heightened apprehensions that the destruction of the world was a celestial reckoning, “vipers, hissing but stingless…they were slain for food”. The religious iconography allows us to interpret this as a direct biblical allusion to a utopic worlds descent into suffering. Likewise, to Shelly, Byron now offers a truthful mirror of humanities concerns in a gothic representation of nature’s power above man in its sheer, corruptive force. Primarily, “The meagre by the meagre were devour'd” reinforces the selfishness of Enlightenment idealists who Byron compares to as beasts amidst animalistic imagery, yet again strengthening man’s inextricable connection to the natural world and its ominous abilities when discredited. Hence, ‘Two…of an enormous city did survive…and they were enemies’ deepens the impression of civilisations meekness to the physical. This mirrors Frankenstein’s creature as the monster desires revenge on the human community for disobeying the divine prospect of truth. Similarly, Byron’s apocalypse extends such as it warns how discounting Romantic values could destroy life as we know it. Thus, the oceanic imagery of ‘ships lay sailorless on the sea…rotting, the sails fell down piecemeal’ finalises the chaotic pandemonium initiated when man strives to rise beyond truth into the logically scientific. The link between this sentence and the next seems a bit rushed, not very fluid. Accordingly, Lord Byron’s Darkness resonates with the idea of an ignorant, industrialisation of society and its lasting connotations on the natural landscape. Perhaps you could adjust the wording here from "the idea of an..." to something about the practical way of thinking. Ways of thinking and ideas have relationships - but you need to make that link clearer.

Conclusively, both texts typify the core traits of Romantic thinking through their discussion of respective zeitgeist’s perception of truth when tackling the natural world vs the industrial. Whilst vastly different in their sensualisation of this notion Shelley and Byron effectively contemplate man’s existence and reliance on nature when seeking to comprehend humanities reality and individual place in the world.

For the most part, my comments are in the spoiler :) But I will add that I think there needs to be a greater attack on ways of thinking. So you're obviously dealing with important IDEAS of the time, but you need to say how IDEAS manifest in WAYS OF THINKING. So - do ideas change ways of thinking? Do ideas produce ways of thinking? Or, do ideas come about because of ways of thinking? It won't hurt you to actually say "ways of thinking" in there a few times, so you don't need to avoid that wording if it makes it easier for you to address the demands of the module that way. In saying this, I know you know what you're talking about because all the comment is there, we just need to see more in the way of directly addressing the module. In ATB we engaged with critics and philosophers a lot - do you think this would help your response?

Let me know! :)
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thewayitis

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Re: English Extension 1 Essay Marking
« Reply #76 on: July 16, 2017, 03:09:40 pm »
Hey!

With trials coming up I'm pretty worried about how to prepare for the intense and unpredictable nature of the english extension essay question. I know that there are about 7-8 different types of questions they can ask on anything from form to modular elements to elective elements and I don't know how to prepare an essay for so many different seemingly unrelated questions.

We've done an in school assessment for an essay and I did really well in that but everytime I try and apply that essay to past questions it takes a lot of adapting and thinking (something I can't afford in the exam) to answer - and even then it can be sketchy at best.

I'd love some help with tips on preparing for the essay, this subject is driving me crazy!

Thanks so much.  :D :D

elysepopplewell

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Re: English Extension 1 Essay Marking
« Reply #77 on: July 26, 2017, 05:35:14 pm »
Hey all, in 48 hours from now we will be locking these marking threads for the trial period. The two main reasons being, we want to be able to help lots of students in the time it takes to mark an essay/creative (usually 30-45 minutes at least) while lots of students need the help during trials, and also because feedback becomes less constructive with minimal time until the exam because we want to avoid panicking you with big changes, so the feedback isn't as worthwhile for you.

Not to fear - you still have 48 hours to post your work and we will get to marking them even after the threads are locked (if there's backlog).

We'll still be here to help you during the trials with all of our Q+A threads, downloadable notes, thesis statement feedback and so on. Thanks for understanding! We're still here to help on all of the boards that aren't marking threads! :)
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dancing phalanges

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Re: English Extension 1 Essay Marking
« Reply #78 on: August 04, 2017, 10:56:26 pm »
Hey guys, I was just wondering if you could take a look at my Romanticism essay as my trial is next week :) I'm a bit unsure about the conclusion and whether I should just make it a rewording of the intro or leave the marker with a really powerful ending.
Thanks!
Spoiler
'The Spirit of Individualism is a celebration of the self'
To what extent does this statement reflect your understanding of Romanticism?


The Romantic Movement was highly interested in the celebration of the individual as it reacted against social, political and economic developments in society that threatened the creative power of the individual. The growth of the Industrial Revolution made human beings replaceable parts in a system and the strict rules of the Enlightenment period limited the expression of unrestrained emotions. Therefore, in response, the Romantics underlined the importance of a personal relationship with nature and a trust in emotion and subjective experience. This celebration of the individual is heavily featured in Samuel Taylor Coleridge’s ‘Lime Tree Bower My Prison’, Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein, William Blake’s ‘The Chimney Sweeper’ and Emily Brontë’s Wuthering Heights. However, while the Romantics treasured the imaginative genius of the individual, Shelley’s Frankenstein also warns against the dangers of the ‘Romantic overreacher’. Therefore, whilst Romanticism was greatly influenced by the spirit of individualism, it also acknowledged the potential issues that may arise if the individual is given too much freedom.

The works of Coleridge, belonging to the “first wave” of Romanticism, reveal his pantheistic view of nature, and his belief in the power of the imagination to liberate, enlighten and transform the individual. This is evident in his conversational poem This Lime Tree Bower My Prison. Here, Coleridge celebrates the ability of the individual imagination to liberate the individual and achieve a closer connection between man and God. This mental illumination is chronicled primarily through the persona’s change in tone as the poem progresses. The first stanza begins with the negative connotations of “prison” and “must” in “here must I remain”, reflecting the persona’s melancholy and unwillingness to remain in his surroundings. However, Coleridge expresses the transformative powers of the imagination in experiencing the sublimity of nature when he describes the grandeur of “the wide wide Heaven” and “hues as veil the Almighty Spirit.” Furthermore, Coleridge continues to profess that nature “ne’er deserts the wise and pure” disclosing the role of nature as the source of true wisdom, rather than science and reason as previously believed in the Neo-Classic era. In this sense, Coleridge celebrated the Romantic belief in the power of the individual imagination within the natural world.

The concept of the Romantic individual is one captured in the ‘heroic overreacher’ based on figures such as Napoleon, the mythical Prometheus and Paradise Lost’s Satan, who embodied the Romantic quest for knowledge and sense of tragic heroism. Similarly, the Romantic idealism that Shelley presents is based upon the faith in men’s divine and creative powers. Shelley, however, subverts this construct by foreshadowing the dangers of humanity’s hubris through her representation of the Romantic ‘overreacher’ Victor Frankenstein. Following the outburst of the French Revolution, a belief in divine creative activity emerged, to which Dr. Frankenstein is guilty of when professing “an eager desire to learn . . . the secrets of heaven and earth.” While Victor is highly Romantic in the sense that he personifies the belief in Romantic idealism and imagination, his ignorance ultimately separates him from the Romantic’s respect for the power of nature and humanity’s limits of control over it. Once his creature begins to murder Victor realises “a panic on seeing the pale yellow light fill the chamber.” Shelley transforms the symbolism of light in the Enlightenment, being civilised knowledge into a Gothic Romantic representation of the disturbing knowledge Victor is now constrained by.  Here, Shelley is warning the dangers of the spirit of individualism in the form of the overreaching ambition of the Romantics. 

Conversely, William Blake’s ‘The Chimney Sweeper’ is a celebration of the self as Blake protests against the exploitation of the individual within Industrial England. Blake’s poem appeared in Songs of Innocence in 1789, the year which marked the outburst of the French Revolution, revealing his revolutionary attitude towards the treatment of chimney sweepers, with the 1788 Chimney Sweepers Act yet to bring any great change to their conditions. Blake’s work intellectually challenged the responder as it mirrors the ways of thinking put forward by philosopher Jean Jacques Rousseau in Emile (1762). Rousseau argues that innocence is a child’s essential quality, which is menaced by social institutions such as family and the state. The exploitation of the children is established by Blake through the line “in soot I sleep” which displays the bleak hope of escape from the inhumane conditions of child labour. The tale of “little Tom Dacre” is introduced by Blake to give a sense of identity to the child sweeper, thus also emphasising to the audience his individuality, a key aspect of the Romantic way of thinking. Yet, this is abruptly destroyed through the narrator’s imitation of an adult, when advising Tom that it is all for the best, so “soot cannot spoil your white hair.” The juxtaposition between black and white contrasts the angelic nature of childhood with the darkness of the soot, and thereby, alluding to the malevolence of those who exploit him, namely adults. The power of the condition of innocence, however, is powerfully symbolised by Blake through Tom’s dream where they are “set free” to run over “a green plain.” To this extent, Blake expressed the desire of English Romantic intellectuals for a yearning for the pre-industrial past and reaction to the perversion of individual spirit as a result of the modern industrial world.

Romantic writers also challenged the constraints of the social hierarchy and moral code of the Enlightenment period on the individual, an idea expressed in Emily Brontë’s Wuthering Heights. Through characterisation, Brontë argues the Romantic belief that nature, even in its most frightening and uncontrollable state, is superior to civilisation. The construct of civilisation as a corrupting force on the spirit of the individual is also reflected in Rousseau’s Discourse on Inequality (1754). Rousseau taught that men would be free in the state of nature and that emotion, when not distorted by the unnatural limitations of civilisation, is a great source of wisdom. Bronte represents Rousseau’s way of thinking through the dichotomy of Catherine and Edgar’s values. The novel’s very name – Wuthering Heights, is closely associated with a powerful, stormy wind, and so are its inhabitants. For instance, when Heathcliff overhears Catherine saying that marriage with him will “degrade” her, she runs out of the house and experiences a raging storm. The violent thunder and rain of the storm are symbolic of Catherine’s own conflicted state as well as her passionate feelings for Heathcliff. In contrast, the uncontrollable Wuthering Heights is juxtaposed by Thrushcross Grange, a “splendid place carpeted with crimson.” Compared with Catherine’s emotional plea for Heathcliff in the storm, Edgar’s reaction to the dying Catherine represents the rational way of thinking present during the Enlightenment Period. Her cries for help remain unheard as instead, Edgar “is continually among his books”, which are emblematic of civilisation.

In addition, the characterisation of Heathcliff appears to align with Rousseau’s idea of the Noble Savage. While Rousseau never actually used the phrase, the wildness of Heathcliff’s character connects with Rousseau’s view that the Noble Savage stands in direct opposition to the man of culture. For instance, after Catherine’s death, Heathcliff “howled, not like a man, but like a savage beast”, emphasising that even after Heathcliff has acquired manners and appears to be cultivated, he is still inseparably linked with the natural world. Catherine’s own desire to return to her “savage” self on the moors leads her to the conclusion that death is the only way she can escape the entrapment of civilised life. Therefore, through characterisation, Emily Bronte celebrates the individual emotion over reason as well as the importance of a deep union with nature.

Thus, the Romantic Movement was deeply infused with an interest in celebrating intense individualism and emotional expression that had been constrained by the previous Age of Enlightenment. (Ideas on a powerful ending without just rewording ideas of introduction)
HSC 2017 (ATAR 98.95) - English Advanced (94), English Extension 1 (48), Modern History (94), Studies of Religion 1 (48), Visual Arts (95), French Continuers (92)

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elysepopplewell

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Re: English Extension 1 Essay Marking
« Reply #79 on: August 08, 2017, 11:01:31 pm »
Hey guys, I was just wondering if you could take a look at my Romanticism essay as my trial is next week :) I'm a bit unsure about the conclusion and whether I should just make it a rewording of the intro or leave the marker with a really powerful ending.
Thanks!

Heya! I regret I have to look at this through the eyes of an ATB student, but the ways of thinking modules aren't so varied in what's expected.

Spoiler
'The Spirit of Individualism is a celebration of the self'
To what extent does this statement reflect your understanding of Romanticism?


The Romantic Movement was highly interested in the celebration of the individual as it reacted against social, political and economic developments in society that threatened the creative power of the individual. Nice! The growth of the Industrial Revolution made human beings replaceable parts in a system and the strict rules of the Enlightenment period limited the expression of unrestrained emotions. Therefore, in response, the Romantics underlined the importance of a personal relationship with nature and a trust in emotion and subjective experience. I've learned a whole lot about romanticism so far! This celebration of the individual is heavily featured in Samuel Taylor Coleridge’s ‘Lime Tree Bower My Prison’, Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein, William Blake’s ‘The Chimney Sweeper’ and Emily Brontë’s Wuthering Heights. However, while the Romantics treasured the imaginative genius of the individual, Shelley’s Frankenstein also warns against the dangers of the ‘Romantic overreacher’. Therefore, whilst Romanticism was greatly influenced by the spirit of individualism, it also acknowledged the potential issues that may arise if the individual is given too much freedom. Wonderful!

The works of Coleridge, belonging to the “first wave” of Romanticism, reveal his pantheistic view of nature, and his belief in the power of the imagination to liberate, enlighten and transform the individual. This is evident in his conversational poem This Lime Tree Bower My Prison. Here, Coleridge celebrates the ability of the individual imagination to liberate the individual and achieve a closer connection between man and God. This mental illumination is chronicled primarily through the persona’s change in tone as the poem progresses. The first stanza begins with the negative connotations of “prison” and “must” in “here must I remain”, reflecting the persona’s melancholy and unwillingness to remain in his surroundings. Not 100% on board with the way you've quoted "prison" and "must" but then only "must" is in the quote that comes after? Just not 100% clear. However, Coleridge expresses the transformative powers of the imagination in experiencing the sublimity of nature when he describes the grandeur of “the wide wide Heaven” and “hues as veil the Almighty Spirit.” Furthermore, Coleridge continues to profess that nature “ne’er deserts the wise and pure” disclosing the role of nature as the source of true wisdom, rather than science and reason as previously believed in the Neo-Classic era. In this sense, Coleridge celebrated the Romantic belief in the power of the individual imagination within the natural world. Wonderful - exceptionally well rounded article.

The concept of the Romantic individual is one captured in the ‘heroic overreacher’ based on figures such as Napoleon, the mythical Prometheus and Paradise Lost’s Satan, who embodied the Romantic quest for knowledge and sense of tragic heroism. Similarly, the Romantic idealism that Shelley presents is based upon the faith in men’s divine and creative powers. Shelley, however, subverts this construct by foreshadowing the dangers of humanity’s hubris through her representation of the Romantic ‘overreacher’ Victor Frankenstein. Following the outburst of the French Revolution, a belief in divine creative activity emerged, to which Dr. Frankenstein is guilty of when professing “an eager desire to learn . . . the secrets of heaven and earth.” While Victor is highly Romantic in the sense that he personifies the belief in Romantic idealism and imagination, his ignorance ultimately separates him from the Romantic’s respect for the power of nature and humanity’s limits of control over it. Once his creature begins to murder Victor realises “a panic on seeing the pale yellow light fill the chamber.” Shelley transforms the symbolism of light in the Enlightenment, being civilised knowledge into a Gothic Romantic representation of the disturbing knowledge Victor is now constrained by.  Here, Shelley is warning the dangers of the spirit of individualism in the form of the overreaching ambition of the Romantics. 

Conversely, William Blake’s ‘The Chimney Sweeper’ is a celebration of the self as Blake protests against the exploitation of the individual within Industrial England. Blake’s poem appeared in Songs of Innocence in 1789, the year which marked the outburst of the French Revolution, revealing his revolutionary attitude towards the treatment of chimney sweepers, with the 1788 Chimney Sweepers Act yet to bring any great change to their conditions. Blake’s work intellectually challenged the responder as it mirrors the ways of thinking put forward by philosopher Jean Jacques Rousseau in Emile (1762). Rousseau argues that innocence is a child’s essential quality, which is menaced by social institutions such as family and the state. The exploitation of the children is established by Blake through the line “in soot I sleep” which displays the bleak hope of escape from the inhumane conditions of child labour. The tale of “little Tom Dacre” is introduced by Blake to give a sense of identity to the child sweeper, thus also emphasising to the audience his individuality, a key aspect of the Romantic way of thinking. This is really good the way you've embedded the idea of the individual in the middle. It's too often that people just top and tail their paragraph with it (across all subjects with essays!)Yet, this is abruptly destroyed through the narrator’s imitation of an adult, when advising Tom that it is all for the best, so “soot cannot spoil your white hair.” The juxtaposition between black and white contrasts the angelic nature of childhood with the darkness of the soot, and thereby, alluding to the malevolence of those who exploit him, namely adults. The power of the condition of innocence, however, is powerfully symbolised by Blake through Tom’s dream where they are “set free” to run over “a green plain.” To this extent, Blake expressed the desire of English Romantic intellectuals for a yearning for the pre-industrial past and reaction to the perversion of individual spirit as a result of the modern industrial world.

Romantic writers also challenged the constraints of the social hierarchy and moral code of the Enlightenment period on the individual, an idea expressed in Emily Brontë’s Wuthering Heights. Through characterisation, Brontë argues the Romantic belief that nature, even in its most frightening and uncontrollable state, is superior to civilisation. The construct of civilisation as a corrupting force on the spirit of the individual is also reflected in Rousseau’s Discourse on Inequality (1754). Nice engagement! Rousseau taught that men would be free in the state of nature and that emotion, when not distorted by the unnatural limitations of civilisation, is a great source of wisdom. Read this sentence back - "is a great sense of wisdom" doesn't make sense. The way I realise is that when you take out the comma splice out, so the things between the commas, you realise it doesn't make sense to read it through. I can't suggest how to fix it because I don't know what you're trying to say with the end bit unfortunately! It's not a huge thing, just a one-off slip. Bronte represents Rousseau’s way of thinking through the dichotomy of Catherine and Edgar’s values. The novel’s very name – Wuthering Heights, is closely associated with a powerful, stormy wind, and so are its inhabitants. For instance, when Heathcliff overhears Catherine saying that marriage with him will “degrade” her, she runs out of the house and experiences a raging storm. The violent thunder and rain of the storm are symbolic of Catherine’s own conflicted state as well as her passionate feelings for Heathcliff. In contrast, the uncontrollable Wuthering Heights is juxtaposed by Thrushcross Grange, a “splendid place carpeted with crimson.” Compared with Catherine’s emotional plea for Heathcliff in the storm, Edgar’s reaction to the dying Catherine represents the rational way of thinking present during the Enlightenment Period. Her cries for help remain unheard as instead, Edgar “is continually among his books”, which are emblematic of civilisation. Splendid! Wonderful paragraph.

In addition, the characterisation of Heathcliff appears to align with Rousseau’s idea of the Noble Savage. While Rousseau never actually used the phrase, the wildness of Heathcliff’s character connects with Rousseau’s view that the Noble Savage stands in direct opposition to the man of culture. For instance, after Catherine’s death, Heathcliff “howled, not like a man, but like a savage beast”, emphasising that even after Heathcliff has acquired manners and appears to be cultivated, he is still inseparably linked with the natural world. Catherine’s own desire to return to her “savage” self on the moors leads her to the conclusion that death is the only way she can escape the entrapment of civilised life. Therefore, through characterisation, Emily Bronte celebrates the individual emotion over reason as well as the importance of a deep union with nature.

Thus, the Romantic Movement was deeply infused with an interest in celebrating intense individualism and emotional expression that had been constrained by the previous Age of Enlightenment. (Ideas on a powerful ending without just rewording ideas of introduction) I think one of the strongest points of your essay is the way that each idea seems to flow from each other without you making overly obviously comparisons between the texts, if that makes sense. It reads like butter, very smooth. You could be creative here, and do something along the lines of, "Romantic Literature echoes the blah blah of content and the blah blah of thinkers...manifesting in the texts that offer a window to the spectacle today." And be a little creative in your wording, despite being an essay. That could be nice and simple, and it avoids using the exact same language as above.

An incredible essay. I'm not sure if there are more mini ways of thinking to be explored within Romanticism, but from your paragraph structure I can see this is clearly an incredible essay. The writing is, as always, clear, wonderful, insightful, and judiciously selected. Another incredible essay from you dancing phalanges! A few wording things throughout, and obviously need to consider your conclusion. But from my viewpoint as a non-romantic student, this is an exemplary piece.
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dancing phalanges

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Re: English Extension 1 Essay Marking
« Reply #80 on: August 08, 2017, 11:07:51 pm »
Heya! I regret I have to look at this through the eyes of an ATB student, but the ways of thinking modules aren't so varied in what's expected.

Spoiler
'The Spirit of Individualism is a celebration of the self'
To what extent does this statement reflect your understanding of Romanticism?


The Romantic Movement was highly interested in the celebration of the individual as it reacted against social, political and economic developments in society that threatened the creative power of the individual. Nice! The growth of the Industrial Revolution made human beings replaceable parts in a system and the strict rules of the Enlightenment period limited the expression of unrestrained emotions. Therefore, in response, the Romantics underlined the importance of a personal relationship with nature and a trust in emotion and subjective experience. I've learned a whole lot about romanticism so far! This celebration of the individual is heavily featured in Samuel Taylor Coleridge’s ‘Lime Tree Bower My Prison’, Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein, William Blake’s ‘The Chimney Sweeper’ and Emily Brontë’s Wuthering Heights. However, while the Romantics treasured the imaginative genius of the individual, Shelley’s Frankenstein also warns against the dangers of the ‘Romantic overreacher’. Therefore, whilst Romanticism was greatly influenced by the spirit of individualism, it also acknowledged the potential issues that may arise if the individual is given too much freedom. Wonderful!

The works of Coleridge, belonging to the “first wave” of Romanticism, reveal his pantheistic view of nature, and his belief in the power of the imagination to liberate, enlighten and transform the individual. This is evident in his conversational poem This Lime Tree Bower My Prison. Here, Coleridge celebrates the ability of the individual imagination to liberate the individual and achieve a closer connection between man and God. This mental illumination is chronicled primarily through the persona’s change in tone as the poem progresses. The first stanza begins with the negative connotations of “prison” and “must” in “here must I remain”, reflecting the persona’s melancholy and unwillingness to remain in his surroundings. Not 100% on board with the way you've quoted "prison" and "must" but then only "must" is in the quote that comes after? Just not 100% clear. However, Coleridge expresses the transformative powers of the imagination in experiencing the sublimity of nature when he describes the grandeur of “the wide wide Heaven” and “hues as veil the Almighty Spirit.” Furthermore, Coleridge continues to profess that nature “ne’er deserts the wise and pure” disclosing the role of nature as the source of true wisdom, rather than science and reason as previously believed in the Neo-Classic era. In this sense, Coleridge celebrated the Romantic belief in the power of the individual imagination within the natural world. Wonderful - exceptionally well rounded article.

The concept of the Romantic individual is one captured in the ‘heroic overreacher’ based on figures such as Napoleon, the mythical Prometheus and Paradise Lost’s Satan, who embodied the Romantic quest for knowledge and sense of tragic heroism. Similarly, the Romantic idealism that Shelley presents is based upon the faith in men’s divine and creative powers. Shelley, however, subverts this construct by foreshadowing the dangers of humanity’s hubris through her representation of the Romantic ‘overreacher’ Victor Frankenstein. Following the outburst of the French Revolution, a belief in divine creative activity emerged, to which Dr. Frankenstein is guilty of when professing “an eager desire to learn . . . the secrets of heaven and earth.” While Victor is highly Romantic in the sense that he personifies the belief in Romantic idealism and imagination, his ignorance ultimately separates him from the Romantic’s respect for the power of nature and humanity’s limits of control over it. Once his creature begins to murder Victor realises “a panic on seeing the pale yellow light fill the chamber.” Shelley transforms the symbolism of light in the Enlightenment, being civilised knowledge into a Gothic Romantic representation of the disturbing knowledge Victor is now constrained by.  Here, Shelley is warning the dangers of the spirit of individualism in the form of the overreaching ambition of the Romantics. 

Conversely, William Blake’s ‘The Chimney Sweeper’ is a celebration of the self as Blake protests against the exploitation of the individual within Industrial England. Blake’s poem appeared in Songs of Innocence in 1789, the year which marked the outburst of the French Revolution, revealing his revolutionary attitude towards the treatment of chimney sweepers, with the 1788 Chimney Sweepers Act yet to bring any great change to their conditions. Blake’s work intellectually challenged the responder as it mirrors the ways of thinking put forward by philosopher Jean Jacques Rousseau in Emile (1762). Rousseau argues that innocence is a child’s essential quality, which is menaced by social institutions such as family and the state. The exploitation of the children is established by Blake through the line “in soot I sleep” which displays the bleak hope of escape from the inhumane conditions of child labour. The tale of “little Tom Dacre” is introduced by Blake to give a sense of identity to the child sweeper, thus also emphasising to the audience his individuality, a key aspect of the Romantic way of thinking. This is really good the way you've embedded the idea of the individual in the middle. It's too often that people just top and tail their paragraph with it (across all subjects with essays!)Yet, this is abruptly destroyed through the narrator’s imitation of an adult, when advising Tom that it is all for the best, so “soot cannot spoil your white hair.” The juxtaposition between black and white contrasts the angelic nature of childhood with the darkness of the soot, and thereby, alluding to the malevolence of those who exploit him, namely adults. The power of the condition of innocence, however, is powerfully symbolised by Blake through Tom’s dream where they are “set free” to run over “a green plain.” To this extent, Blake expressed the desire of English Romantic intellectuals for a yearning for the pre-industrial past and reaction to the perversion of individual spirit as a result of the modern industrial world.

Romantic writers also challenged the constraints of the social hierarchy and moral code of the Enlightenment period on the individual, an idea expressed in Emily Brontë’s Wuthering Heights. Through characterisation, Brontë argues the Romantic belief that nature, even in its most frightening and uncontrollable state, is superior to civilisation. The construct of civilisation as a corrupting force on the spirit of the individual is also reflected in Rousseau’s Discourse on Inequality (1754). Nice engagement! Rousseau taught that men would be free in the state of nature and that emotion, when not distorted by the unnatural limitations of civilisation, is a great source of wisdom. Read this sentence back - "is a great sense of wisdom" doesn't make sense. The way I realise is that when you take out the comma splice out, so the things between the commas, you realise it doesn't make sense to read it through. I can't suggest how to fix it because I don't know what you're trying to say with the end bit unfortunately! It's not a huge thing, just a one-off slip. Bronte represents Rousseau’s way of thinking through the dichotomy of Catherine and Edgar’s values. The novel’s very name – Wuthering Heights, is closely associated with a powerful, stormy wind, and so are its inhabitants. For instance, when Heathcliff overhears Catherine saying that marriage with him will “degrade” her, she runs out of the house and experiences a raging storm. The violent thunder and rain of the storm are symbolic of Catherine’s own conflicted state as well as her passionate feelings for Heathcliff. In contrast, the uncontrollable Wuthering Heights is juxtaposed by Thrushcross Grange, a “splendid place carpeted with crimson.” Compared with Catherine’s emotional plea for Heathcliff in the storm, Edgar’s reaction to the dying Catherine represents the rational way of thinking present during the Enlightenment Period. Her cries for help remain unheard as instead, Edgar “is continually among his books”, which are emblematic of civilisation. Splendid! Wonderful paragraph.

In addition, the characterisation of Heathcliff appears to align with Rousseau’s idea of the Noble Savage. While Rousseau never actually used the phrase, the wildness of Heathcliff’s character connects with Rousseau’s view that the Noble Savage stands in direct opposition to the man of culture. For instance, after Catherine’s death, Heathcliff “howled, not like a man, but like a savage beast”, emphasising that even after Heathcliff has acquired manners and appears to be cultivated, he is still inseparably linked with the natural world. Catherine’s own desire to return to her “savage” self on the moors leads her to the conclusion that death is the only way she can escape the entrapment of civilised life. Therefore, through characterisation, Emily Bronte celebrates the individual emotion over reason as well as the importance of a deep union with nature.

Thus, the Romantic Movement was deeply infused with an interest in celebrating intense individualism and emotional expression that had been constrained by the previous Age of Enlightenment. (Ideas on a powerful ending without just rewording ideas of introduction) I think one of the strongest points of your essay is the way that each idea seems to flow from each other without you making overly obviously comparisons between the texts, if that makes sense. It reads like butter, very smooth. You could be creative here, and do something along the lines of, "Romantic Literature echoes the blah blah of content and the blah blah of thinkers...manifesting in the texts that offer a window to the spectacle today." And be a little creative in your wording, despite being an essay. That could be nice and simple, and it avoids using the exact same language as above.

An incredible essay. I'm not sure if there are more mini ways of thinking to be explored within Romanticism, but from your paragraph structure I can see this is clearly an incredible essay. The writing is, as always, clear, wonderful, insightful, and judiciously selected. Another incredible essay from you dancing phalanges! A few wording things throughout, and obviously need to consider your conclusion. But from my viewpoint as a non-romantic student, this is an exemplary piece.

Was just about to go to bed so I can get some sleep before my french exam tomorrow so this gives me great comfort for Thursday's exam :) Thank you so much for doing this after such a long working day! I was just wondering quickly with my creative if this is enough context for the slave being educated?
I share with you a letter I found from Quaco, who was sold off early in his life to an officer in the Royal Navy. He was one of the lucky few introduced to the British way of life, which included an education. Regrettably, the poor soul was later kidnapped by his former owner and sent back to sea on the Aurore, where recently he penned his final farewells.
It's the same sort of way that Olaudah Equiano who wrote The Interesting Narrative of the Life of Olaudah Equiano received his education :)
I also signed off/started off a couple of the letters with stuff like: My dearest Lucy. Forgive my long delay in writing... and at the end when the ship is about to sink: Farewell, my dear, excellent Lucy! Remember me with affection, should you never hear from me again.
Hopefully that sounds right? But thanks once again for giving my essay a look! :)
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elysepopplewell

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Re: English Extension 1 Essay Marking
« Reply #81 on: August 09, 2017, 10:55:14 am »
Was just about to go to bed so I can get some sleep before my french exam tomorrow so this gives me great comfort for Thursday's exam :) Thank you so much for doing this after such a long working day! I was just wondering quickly with my creative if this is enough context for the slave being educated?
I share with you a letter I found from Quaco, who was sold off early in his life to an officer in the Royal Navy. He was one of the lucky few introduced to the British way of life, which included an education. Regrettably, the poor soul was later kidnapped by his former owner and sent back to sea on the Aurore, where recently he penned his final farewells.
It's the same sort of way that Olaudah Equiano who wrote The Interesting Narrative of the Life of Olaudah Equiano received his education :)
I also signed off/started off a couple of the letters with stuff like: My dearest Lucy. Forgive my long delay in writing... and at the end when the ship is about to sink: Farewell, my dear, excellent Lucy! Remember me with affection, should you never hear from me again.
Hopefully that sounds right? But thanks once again for giving my essay a look! :)
Yes! You had a tricky task ahead of you by incorporating the context as to how the slave became so literate, and I admit to not considering referencing another character to do this - but I think this is great! An excellent idea! Truly :)
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Re: English Extension 1 Essay Marking
« Reply #82 on: August 09, 2017, 12:25:53 pm »
Yes! You had a tricky task ahead of you by incorporating the context as to how the slave became so literate, and I admit to not considering referencing another character to do this - but I think this is great! An excellent idea! Truly :)

Great thank you :) Just to clarify I'm not mentioning Olaudah Equanio just taking inspiration from his way of doing it :)
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Re: English Extension 1 Essay Marking
« Reply #83 on: August 09, 2017, 01:24:48 pm »
Great thank you :) Just to clarify I'm not mentioning Olaudah Equanio just taking inspiration from his way of doing it :)

No of course! I mean, the reference of Quaco. Stellar!
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dancing phalanges

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Re: English Extension 1 Essay Marking
« Reply #84 on: August 09, 2017, 07:48:23 pm »
No of course! I mean, the reference of Quaco. Stellar!

Hi Elyse,
Just with the bit where you talked about the comma splicing and stuff,
what i was trying to say there is that the romantics followed their emotions (ie. that it was a source of wisdom, that it governed the choices/decisions they made) if you get my drift.
how do you suggest i fix it to make it flow better :)
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Re: English Extension 1 Essay Marking
« Reply #85 on: August 09, 2017, 08:31:36 pm »
Hi Elyse,
Just with the bit where you talked about the comma splicing and stuff,
what i was trying to say there is that the romantics followed their emotions (ie. that it was a source of wisdom, that it governed the choices/decisions they made) if you get my drift.
how do you suggest i fix it to make it flow better :)

Rousseau taught that men would be free in the state of nature and that emotion, when not distorted by the unnatural limitations of civilisation, is a great source of wisdom.

Riiiight, ok I see it now. I think the solution is "and also that emotion..." adding the also changes the flow of how I read it and it makes sense then :)
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dancing phalanges

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Re: English Extension 1 Essay Marking
« Reply #86 on: August 09, 2017, 08:58:40 pm »
Rousseau taught that men would be free in the state of nature and that emotion, when not distorted by the unnatural limitations of civilisation, is a great source of wisdom.

Riiiight, ok I see it now. I think the solution is "and also that emotion..." adding the also changes the flow of how I read it and it makes sense then :)

Okay great thank you :)
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Re: English Extension 1 Essay Marking
« Reply #87 on: October 16, 2017, 03:24:33 pm »
Ok so I overwrote this SOOOO much whoops. Just looking from some overall feedback and what to cut down because it is over 2000 words aaahhh!

Would love for a mod to go in depth with this but if anyone else wants to give some general advice I am more than happy to hear it!

Spoiler
Experimentation with form and ideas within the texts of this module are reflective of the intensified questioning of humanity and human beliefs during their respective contexts.

To what extent does this statement reflect your study of After the Bomb?

In your response, refer to TWO prescribed texts from the elective you have studied, and at least TWO texts of your own choosing


The After the Bomb period brought upon a wide range of change within the ways of thinking of individuals. Therefore, this was extended onto the literature of the time, and thus this experimentation with form and ideas have been catalysed by the deepened investigation of humankind and the human paradigms during this era to a great extent. The questioning of humanity and human beliefs surrounded the worth of individuals, and as a collective, and whether that be great or hopeless. Samuel Beckett’s 1953 existential play Waiting for Godot and John F. Kennedy’s 1963 elegant historical Berlin Speech both experiment within the form of the print text, though are on opposing sides when deliberating the power or powerless of individuals. Similarly, whilst George Clooney’s 2001 film noir Good Night and Good Luck and Raymond Briggs’ 1982 graphic novel When the Wind Blows experiment with the visual text, they are also opposing values of the constructive supremacy of various bodies within this time period, against the weakness of the mundane individual. These authors use the values within their texts to intensify the questioning of humanity and human beliefs.

The experimentation of the use of voice within print texts during the Cold War era was generated from the importance society placed on saying one’s opinion – whether that be seen as right or wrong. In Waiting for Godot, Beckett interacts with human beliefs by using the power of the voice of his characters to relate to and engage with his audience. When questioning the purpose of humanity, Vladimir states that “But that is not the question. What are we doing here that is the question,” adding comic relief for the audience through the intertextual reference to Shakespeare’s Hamlet. A conversation between Vladimir and Estragon also reveals the questioning of humanity’s worth during this time period, where Estragon asks “Who believes him?” to which Vladimir replies “Everybody. It's the only version they know.” Estragon further comments “People are bloody ignorant apes.” The conversation acts as an allegory regarding the naivety of many individuals who believed the propaganda that was generated, as well as the metaphor of apes used to further trivalise the human population. Similarly, in his Berlin Speech, John F. Kennedy uses the power of his own voice to convey ideas regarding humanity, although instead treating human existence with respect and to be of a complex dimension. Kennedy states that “I know of no town, no city, that has been besieged for 18 years that still lives with the vitality and the force, and the hope, and the determination of the city of West Berlin.” The polysyndeton used slows down the pace of the sentence to ensure the audience grasps the full effect of the ideas are being conveyed, as Kennedy flatters his live audience by portraying the strength he believes the human has. The appeal to hope in the quote the “Hopes of tomorrow,” has the greatest moral power, and through the didactic language used, an optimistic tone is created for the audience. Through his own voice, Kennedy shows that he values human beliefs, and that humanity is imperatively important. Both texts could have easily been turned into a novel or an academic essay respectively. However, the experimentation that was seen within the form of the written text during the After the Bomb period, of choosing texts to be heard rather than read, allowed composers to deeply entwine their own voice into their writing. Although these composers were of opposing stances in their ideas, through the experimentation within this medium, they were able to convey important ideas and allow a timeless audience to get an insight into the influence various paradigms had on the questioning of humanity and human beliefs.

Within the visual text medium, the After the Bomb period brought upon experimentation through a popular use of symbols to question humanity and the human experience. This particularly was inspired from the significant amounts of propaganda that surrounded humanity on an everyday basis, used as symbols for various political ideologies. In her academic article regarding the visual text, Tegally Bibi states that in this form, “the meaning of signs is extraordinarily complex,” and the symbols used are complex in the ideas they represent. In Good Night and Good Luck, George Clooney uses the soundtrack of the film as a symbol for the devastation humanity experienced during this time period. As Ed Murrow hears of colleague Don Hollenbeck’s passing, the non-diegetic soundtrack plays in a sombre tone, stating “Somewhere there’s heaven.” The symbols used in this extract show that Clooney recognised the destruction humanity went through, however with the use of the word ‘heaven’ he valued the human belief of a higher nirvana of safety. In When the Wind Blows, Raymond Briggs uses colour and objects as symbols for his own views on humanity and human beliefs. As the bomb hits the town of Hilda and Jim, a bright hue of white with faint expressions of red fill the double page, with the red representing the communist ideals that have acted as a catalyst for the warfare. Briggs uses the colour in this piece to show the overpowering nature of nuclear weapons that consumed the lives of numerous individuals by taking up two entire pages to express this way of thinking. Briggs also uses pictures of a missile, plane, and submarine, symbolising land, air and water respectively as these objects have the ability to destroy their corresponding elements – all which are fundamental aspects of human life on Earth. Briggs uses both colour and objects to symbolise the formidable impact the threat of nuclear weaponry has over humanity, and whilst he does not dismiss the power of humans, he hints that this peril is so large that its devastating impact is almost uncontrollable. Both Clooney and Briggs experiment with the use of symbols within their texts as a result of the excessive propaganda used within the context they are set in. Through this, they are able to reflect the human experience within these time periods, whilst also portraying their own beliefs about humanity.

During the After the Bomb period, a dichotomous nature of how individuals viewed those in power was created, both within their own nations and on the other side of the political spectrum. This generated the idea of power to be expressed in various texts of the time, where composers chose whether to take the stance of those that possessed this attributed to have a positive or negative on humanity and human beliefs. In Good Night and Good Luck, George Clooney stresses the idea that media holds an extremely powerful status in society. The human belief within this idea is that the media is able to orchestrate news credibly. When talking about the television, Ed Murrow states that “This instrument can teach, it can illuminate; yes, and it can even inspire. But it can do so only to the extent that humans are determined to use it to those ends. Otherwise it is merely wires and lights in a box.” The alliteration used draws attention to the fact that the media, as an “instrument”, been trusted with the power to “illuminate” and “inspire” humanity during times where there is a desperate desire for the truth. Clooney further uses alliteration in the quote “I believe today that mature Americans can engage in conversation and controversy, the clash of ideas, with Communists anywhere in the world without becoming contaminated or converted.” In this instance, the alliteration also serves to draw attention to the main ideas conveyed as that individuals should be tolerant of one another to limit conflict. In capitalist societies, as Good Night and Good Luck was set in, only rarely would one speak of Communists in a light that was not demeaning. However, as touched on by Hochscherf and Laucht in their critical reading of the text, “the film epitomises on the hegemonial power of the relatively new medium” – the media were able to do speak somewhat controversially whilst possibly changing the view of their audience due to the power they held and continue to hold today. John F. Kennedy has also been influenced by the idea of power during the After the Bomb period, and has used his position as an authoritative individual to convey his own beliefs about humanity in his Berlin Speech. Kennedy speaks highly of the statement “Civus romanus sum,” an allusion to what use to be said to become a Roman citizen. When saying this quote in the context that it was used, the individual was promised freedom and rights, which is exactly what Germans were desperate for during the Cold War era. Kennedy’s use of “Ich bin ein Berliner” inspired by this statement was able to effectively deliver optimism for his audience, and for humanity by establishing the ideas individuals intensely wanted. Kennedy goes on to say that his nation “Will come again if ever needed,” with the high modal emotive language generating unity and the building of power between capitalist societies, essential to promoting hope for a peaceful future as a common human belief and way of thinking. The deliberation of views on bodies and individuals with power has notably had an impact on the composers who construct their texts within the context of the After the Bomb period. In both Good Night and Good Luck and the Berlin Speech, Clooney and Kennedy illustrate the positive use of power, to create human beliefs of optimism, and ensure that faith remained for humanity.

Whilst some individuals preferred to focus on the resilience of humanity, others recognised the futility felt during the After the Bomb period as a result of the destruction surrounding them. In Waiting for Godot, Beckett displays the human belief that individuals continued to wait for a saviour of sorts during times of despair, even when there was no certainty that this relief would come. In his reading of the play, James H Reid states that “Its anguished anticipation repeatedly fades into game playing,” thus exemplifying the naivety of humanity shown throughout the play. When expressing that he wants to leave, Estragon asks Vladimir “Why not?” when he dismisses the idea, to which Vladimir replies “We’re waiting for Godot.” The short syntax creates a frantic tone, whilst the inclusive language used shows that whilst the two may feel alone, they are unable to leave each other and unable to stop waiting. This reveals that whilst humans may have felt weak, humanity was experiencing this time period as a collective. Estragon also states “Don’t let’s do anything. It’s safer,” showing his fear by using enigmatic language, not making sense when first read or heard, and as though the fear is making his expression incomprehensible. Beckett again shows the fragile side of humanity during this time period as language being one of the only areas of power left for the everyday individual has now also been destroyed due to the fear that is stimulated from waiting. In When the Wind Blows, Briggs uses pessimism and tone to demonstrate the feebleness of humanity. Jim states that “The powers that be will get to us in the end,” in which continues to be repeated, continuing the feeling of being powerless as they feel the threat of the bomb every day. Near the time of the bomb hitting, speech bubbles turn sharp and the fonts grow larger in capital letters, creating an anxious tone and exemplifies the overpowering fear of the bomb that eventually controlled the lives of individuals. Whilst humanity tried to believe in hope, in some circumstances it was this belief that revealed their fragility, and thus a vicious cycle of weakness continued.

The deliberation on whether humanity has worth, or if it is the opposite in being purposeless, has been reflective on the experimentation of form and ideas during the After the Bomb period to a significant extent. The constructers have used their texts to portray their own beliefs regarding human kind, and have strategically used various functions to ensure their audience gain a new perspective or renew their own, and thus exhibiting the importance and power of literature during this time.

Thank youuuuu! :)
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elysepopplewell

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Re: English Extension 1 Essay Marking
« Reply #88 on: October 22, 2017, 07:34:36 pm »
Ok so I overwrote this SOOOO much whoops. Just looking from some overall feedback and what to cut down because it is over 2000 words aaahhh!

Would love for a mod to go in depth with this but if anyone else wants to give some general advice I am more than happy to hear it!

Spoiler
Experimentation with form and ideas within the texts of this module are reflective of the intensified questioning of humanity and human beliefs during their respective contexts.

To what extent does this statement reflect your study of After the Bomb?

In your response, refer to TWO prescribed texts from the elective you have studied, and at least TWO texts of your own choosing


The After the Bomb period brought upon a wide range of change within the ways of thinking of individuals. Therefore, this was extended onto the literature of the time, and thus this experimentation with form and ideas have been catalysed by the deepened investigation of humankind and the human paradigms during this era to a great extent. The questioning of humanity and human beliefs surrounded the worth of individuals, and as a collective, and whether that be great or hopeless. Samuel Beckett’s 1953 existential play Waiting for Godot and John F. Kennedy’s 1963 elegant historical Berlin Speech both experiment within the form of the print text, though are on opposing sides when deliberating the power or powerless of individuals. Similarly, whilst George Clooney’s 2001 film noir Good Night and Good Luck and Raymond Briggs’ 1982 graphic novel When the Wind Blows experiment with the visual text, they are also opposing values of the constructive supremacy of various bodies within this time period, against the weakness of the mundane individual. These authors use the values within their texts to intensify the questioning of humanity and human beliefs.

The experimentation of the use of voice within print texts during the Cold War era was generated from the importance society placed on saying one’s opinion – whether that be seen as right or wrong. In Waiting for Godot, Beckett interacts with human beliefs by using the power of the voice of his characters to relate to and engage with his audience. When questioning the purpose of humanity, Vladimir states that “But that is not the question. What are we doing here that is the question,” adding comic relief for the audience through the intertextual reference to Shakespeare’s Hamlet. A conversation between Vladimir and Estragon also reveals the questioning of humanity’s worth during this time period, where Estragon asks “Who believes him?” to which Vladimir replies “Everybody. It's the only version they know.” Estragon further comments “People are bloody ignorant apes.” The conversation acts as an allegory regarding the naivety of many individuals who believed the propaganda that was generated, as well as the metaphor of apes used to further trivalise the human population. Similarly, in his Berlin Speech, John F. Kennedy uses the power of his own voice to convey ideas regarding humanity, although instead treating human existence with respect and to be of a complex dimension. Kennedy states that “I know of no town, no city, that has been besieged for 18 years that still lives with the vitality and the force, and the hope, and the determination of the city of West Berlin.” The polysyndeton used slows down the pace of the sentence to ensure the audience grasps the full effect of the ideas are being conveyed, as Kennedy flatters his live audience by portraying the strength he believes the human has. The appeal to hope in the quote the “Hopes of tomorrow,” has the greatest moral power, and through the didactic language used, an optimistic tone is created for the audience. Through his own voice, Kennedy shows that he values human beliefs, and that humanity is imperatively important. Both texts could have easily been turned into a novel or an academic essay respectively. However, the experimentation that was seen within the form of the written text during the After the Bomb period, of choosing texts to be heard rather than read, allowed composers to deeply entwine their own voice into their writing. Although these composers were of opposing stances in their ideas, through the experimentation within this medium, they were able to convey important ideas and allow a timeless audience to get an insight into the influence various paradigms had on the questioning of humanity and human beliefs.

Within the visual text medium, the After the Bomb period brought upon experimentation through a popular use of symbols to question humanity and the human experience. This particularly was inspired from the significant amounts of propaganda that surrounded humanity on an everyday basis, used as symbols for various political ideologies. In her academic article regarding the visual text, Tegally Bibi states that in this form, “the meaning of signs is extraordinarily complex,” and the symbols used are complex in the ideas they represent. In Good Night and Good Luck, George Clooney uses the soundtrack of the film as a symbol for the devastation humanity experienced during this time period. As Ed Murrow hears of colleague Don Hollenbeck’s passing, the non-diegetic soundtrack plays in a sombre tone, stating “Somewhere there’s heaven.” The symbols used in this extract show that Clooney recognised the destruction humanity went through, however with the use of the word ‘heaven’ he valued the human belief of a higher nirvana of safety. In When the Wind Blows, Raymond Briggs uses colour and objects as symbols for his own views on humanity and human beliefs. As the bomb hits the town of Hilda and Jim, a bright hue of white with faint expressions of red fill the double page, with the red representing the communist ideals that have acted as a catalyst for the warfare. Briggs uses the colour in this piece to show the overpowering nature of nuclear weapons that consumed the lives of numerous individuals by taking up two entire pages to express this way of thinking. Briggs also uses pictures of a missile, plane, and submarine, symbolising land, air and water respectively as these objects have the ability to destroy their corresponding elements – all which are fundamental aspects of human life on Earth. Briggs uses both colour and objects to symbolise the formidable impact the threat of nuclear weaponry has over humanity, and whilst he does not dismiss the power of humans, he hints that this peril is so large that its devastating impact is almost uncontrollable. Both Clooney and Briggs experiment with the use of symbols within their texts as a result of the excessive propaganda used within the context they are set in. Through this, they are able to reflect the human experience within these time periods, whilst also portraying their own beliefs about humanity.

During the After the Bomb period, a dichotomous nature of how individuals viewed those in power was created, both within their own nations and on the other side of the political spectrum. This generated the idea of power to be expressed in various texts of the time, where composers chose whether to take the stance of those that possessed this attributed to have a positive or negative on humanity and human beliefs. In Good Night and Good Luck, George Clooney stresses the idea that media holds an extremely powerful status in society. The human belief within this idea is that the media is able to orchestrate news credibly. When talking about the television, Ed Murrow states that “This instrument can teach, it can illuminate; yes, and it can even inspire. But it can do so only to the extent that humans are determined to use it to those ends. Otherwise it is merely wires and lights in a box.” The alliteration used draws attention to the fact that the media, as an “instrument”, been trusted with the power to “illuminate” and “inspire” humanity during times where there is a desperate desire for the truth. Clooney further uses alliteration in the quote “I believe today that mature Americans can engage in conversation and controversy, the clash of ideas, with Communists anywhere in the world without becoming contaminated or converted.” In this instance, the alliteration also serves to draw attention to the main ideas conveyed as that individuals should be tolerant of one another to limit conflict. In capitalist societies, as Good Night and Good Luck was set in, only rarely would one speak of Communists in a light that was not demeaning. However, as touched on by Hochscherf and Laucht in their critical reading of the text, “the film epitomises on the hegemonial power of the relatively new medium” – the media were able to do speak somewhat controversially whilst possibly changing the view of their audience due to the power they held and continue to hold today. John F. Kennedy has also been influenced by the idea of power during the After the Bomb period, and has used his position as an authoritative individual to convey his own beliefs about humanity in his Berlin Speech. Kennedy speaks highly of the statement “Civus romanus sum,” an allusion to what use to be said to become a Roman citizen. When saying this quote in the context that it was used, the individual was promised freedom and rights, which is exactly what Germans were desperate for during the Cold War era. Kennedy’s use of “Ich bin ein Berliner” inspired by this statement was able to effectively deliver optimism for his audience, and for humanity by establishing the ideas individuals intensely wanted. Kennedy goes on to say that his nation “Will come again if ever needed,” with the high modal emotive language generating unity and the building of power between capitalist societies, essential to promoting hope for a peaceful future as a common human belief and way of thinking. The deliberation of views on bodies and individuals with power has notably had an impact on the composers who construct their texts within the context of the After the Bomb period. In both Good Night and Good Luck and the Berlin Speech, Clooney and Kennedy illustrate the positive use of power, to create human beliefs of optimism, and ensure that faith remained for humanity.

Whilst some individuals preferred to focus on the resilience of humanity, others recognised the futility felt during the After the Bomb period as a result of the destruction surrounding them. In Waiting for Godot, Beckett displays the human belief that individuals continued to wait for a saviour of sorts during times of despair, even when there was no certainty that this relief would come. In his reading of the play, James H Reid states that “Its anguished anticipation repeatedly fades into game playing,” thus exemplifying the naivety of humanity shown throughout the play. When expressing that he wants to leave, Estragon asks Vladimir “Why not?” when he dismisses the idea, to which Vladimir replies “We’re waiting for Godot.” The short syntax creates a frantic tone, whilst the inclusive language used shows that whilst the two may feel alone, they are unable to leave each other and unable to stop waiting. This reveals that whilst humans may have felt weak, humanity was experiencing this time period as a collective. Estragon also states “Don’t let’s do anything. It’s safer,” showing his fear by using enigmatic language, not making sense when first read or heard, and as though the fear is making his expression incomprehensible. Beckett again shows the fragile side of humanity during this time period as language being one of the only areas of power left for the everyday individual has now also been destroyed due to the fear that is stimulated from waiting. In When the Wind Blows, Briggs uses pessimism and tone to demonstrate the feebleness of humanity. Jim states that “The powers that be will get to us in the end,” in which continues to be repeated, continuing the feeling of being powerless as they feel the threat of the bomb every day. Near the time of the bomb hitting, speech bubbles turn sharp and the fonts grow larger in capital letters, creating an anxious tone and exemplifies the overpowering fear of the bomb that eventually controlled the lives of individuals. Whilst humanity tried to believe in hope, in some circumstances it was this belief that revealed their fragility, and thus a vicious cycle of weakness continued.

The deliberation on whether humanity has worth, or if it is the opposite in being purposeless, has been reflective on the experimentation of form and ideas during the After the Bomb period to a significant extent. The constructers have used their texts to portray their own beliefs regarding human kind, and have strategically used various functions to ensure their audience gain a new perspective or renew their own, and thus exhibiting the importance and power of literature during this time.

Thank youuuuu! :)
Hi Ella, just touching base to say this is on my list for tomorrow. Optimistically it will be tonight, but more likely tomorrow. So won't be too long! :)
« Last Edit: October 23, 2017, 03:26:02 pm by elysepopplewell »
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elysepopplewell

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Re: English Extension 1 Essay Marking
« Reply #89 on: October 24, 2017, 12:00:15 am »
Ok so I overwrote this SOOOO much whoops. Just looking from some overall feedback and what to cut down because it is over 2000 words aaahhh!

Would love for a mod to go in depth with this but if anyone else wants to give some general advice I am more than happy to hear it!
Thank youuuuu! :)

Hey Ella!! Loooong essay we've got here - must mean you're super keen and you know a lot, so that can't be a bad thing at all! :)

Spoiler
Experimentation with form and ideas within the texts of this module are reflective of the intensified questioning of humanity and human beliefs during their respective contexts.

To what extent does this statement reflect your study of After the Bomb?

In your response, refer to TWO prescribed texts from the elective you have studied, and at least TWO texts of your own choosing


The After the Bomb period brought upon "brought upon" isn't really correct wording - If you take "upon" away it makes perfect sense. Or else use the word "induced" or "triggered" a wide range of change within the ways of thinking of individuals. Therefore, this was extended onto to the literature of the time, and thus this experimentation with form and ideas have been catalysed by the deepened investigation of humankind and the human paradigms during this era to a great extent. The questioning of humanity and human beliefs surrounded the worth of individuals, and as a collective, and whether that be great or hopeless. Samuel Beckett’s 1953 existential play Waiting for Godot and John F. Kennedy’s 1963 elegant historical Berlin Speech both experiment within the form of the print text, though are on opposing sides when deliberating the power or powerless of individuals. Similarly, whilst George Clooney’s 2001 film noir Good Night and Good Luck and Raymond Briggs’ 1982 graphic novel When the Wind Blows experiment with the visual text, they are also opposing values of the constructive supremacy of various bodies within this time period, against the weakness of the mundane individual. These authors use the values within their texts to intensify the questioning of humanity and human beliefs. I like the way you've paired the two texts here, it works really well to make nice comparisons. Very smooth!

The experimentation of the use of voice within print texts during the Cold War era was generated from the importance society placed on saying one’s opinion – whether that be seen as right or wrong. In Waiting for Godot, Beckett interacts with human beliefs by using the power of the voice of his characters to relate to and engage with his audience. When questioning the purpose of humanity, Vladimir states that “But that is not the question. What are we doing here that is the question,” adding comic relief for the audience through the intertextual reference to the most famous line of Shakespeare’s Hamlet. A conversation between Vladimir and Estragon also reveals the questioning of humanity’s worth during this time period, where Estragon asks “Who believes him?” to which Vladimir replies “Everybody. It's the only version they know.” Estragon further comments “People are bloody ignorant apes.” The conversation acts as an allegory regarding the naivety of many individuals who believed the propaganda that was generated, as well as the metaphor of apes used to further trivalise I see that trivialise works, but I think maybe something like "to further diminish the intellect of the human population..." works better. To trivialise is to deduce, but to specifically mention the intellect of the overall population is more precise, rather than just trivialising the existence of the population. the human population. Similarly, in his Berlin Speech, John F. Kennedy uses the power of his own voice to convey ideas regarding humanity, although instead treating human existence with respect and to be of a complex dimension. I'd adjust the wording of this last sentence to show you are comparing the two texts in a stronger way. Instead of "although instead treating" maybe something more like "although,
 unlike in Waiting for Godot, treating..." Just to be really precise in your comparison.
Kennedy states that “I know of no town, no city, that has been besieged for 18 years that still lives with the vitality and the force, and the hope, and the determination of the city of West Berlin.” The polysyndeton used slows down the pace of the sentence to ensure the audience grasps the full effect of the ideas are being conveyed, as Kennedy flatters his live audience by portraying the strength he believes the human has. Really nice piece of analysis! The appeal to hope in the quote the “Hopes of tomorrow,” has the greatest moral power, and through the didactic language used, an optimistic tone is created for the audience. This last bit needs a bit more reflection of the effect of this. I know in your next sentence you analyse this, but it's in a broader sense of the use of voice, not so much about the optimistic tone you've just mentioned. The next sentence, could in fact, be deleted and replaced with an analysis that more directly relates to the part you have just focused on. Through his own voice, Kennedy shows that he values human beliefs, and that humanity is imperatively important. Both texts could have easily been turned into a novel or an academic essay respectively. I think this is an unusual statement to make. Why would they have made novels or essays instead? Are you saying that is the preferred style of this era, therefore the composers showed a deviation from this? However, the experimentation that was seen within the form of the written text during the After the Bomb period, of choosing texts to be heard rather than read, allowed composers to deeply entwine their own voice into their writing. Nice! If you agree, and don't want to add anything to the prior sentence, I'd connect these two sentences by cutting little parts from each so you can sew it back together as one sentence. This will shorten your word usage as well,
 and it will become more precise.
Although these composers were of opposing stances in their ideas, through the experimentation within this medium, they were able to convey important ideas and allow a timeless audience to get an insight into the influence various paradigms had on the questioning of humanity and human beliefs. I'd bring this back to the idea of "voice" that you were exploring in the first part of this paragraph, just to bring it all together really nicely again.

Within the visual text medium, the After the Bomb period brought upon experimentation through a popular use of symbols to question humanity and the human experience. This particularly was inspired from the significant amounts of propaganda that surrounded humanity on an everyday basis, used as symbols for various political ideologies. In her academic article regarding the visual text, Tegally Bibi states that in this form, “the meaning of signs is extraordinarily complex,” and the symbols used are complex in the ideas they represent. Nice quote! Works well here with your argument and the direction of this paragraph. In Good Night and Good Luck, George Clooney uses the soundtrack of the film as a symbol for the devastation humanity experienced during this time period. As Ed Murrow hears of colleague Don Hollenbeck’s passing, the non-diegetic soundtrack plays in a sombre tone, stating “Somewhere there’s heaven.” The symbols used in this extract show that Clooney recognised the destruction humanity went through, however with the use of the word ‘heaven’ he valued the human belief of a higher nirvana of safety. In When the Wind Blows, Raymond Briggs uses colour and objects as symbols for his own views on humanity and human beliefs. As the bomb hits the town of the protagonists,Hilda and Jim, a bright hue of white with faint expressions of red fill the double page, with the red representing the communist ideals that have acted as a catalyst for the warfare. I don't know that this is a true or particularly well backed up statement. I see what you're saying with the red being symbolic, but I don't think it's a catalyst for warfare, so to say? Particularly because the text is so critical of the way people so blindly believe their own government (eg, the pamphlets about staying safe in a bomb), so I'd word this differently so as to not place the entire war's blame on communist ideals. Briggs uses the colour in this piece to show the overpowering nature of nuclear weapons that consumed the lives of numerous individuals by taking up two entire pages to express this way of thinking. Briggs also uses pictures of a missile, plane, and submarine, symbolising land, air and water respectively as these objects have the ability to destroy their corresponding elements – all which are fundamental aspects of human life on Earth. Briggs uses both colour and objects to symbolise the formidable impact the threat of nuclear weaponry has over humanity, and whilst he does not dismiss the power of humans, he hints that this peril is so large that its devastating impact is almost uncontrollable. Both Clooney and Briggs experiment with the use of symbols within their texts as a result of the excessive propaganda used within the context they are set in. Through this, they are able to reflect the human experience within these time periods, whilst also portraying their own beliefs about humanity. I like the idea in this paragraph about visual representations! It features in a strong way and it brings together the two texts really nicely.

During the After the Bomb period, a dichotomous nature of how individuals viewed those in power was created, both within their own nations and on the other side of the political spectrum.  The word "dichotomous" is sticking out to me here and the bit I've underlined all jars a little. Perhaps, the polarised responses of individuals to those in power?This generated the idea of power to be expressed in various texts of the time, where composers chose whether to take the stance of those that possessed this attributed to have a positive or negative on humanity and human beliefs. In Good Night and Good Luck, George Clooney stresses the idea that media holds an extremely powerful status in society. The human belief within this idea is that the media is able to orchestrate news credibly. When talking about the television, Ed Murrow states that “This instrument can teach, it can illuminate; yes, and it can even inspire. But it can do so only to the extent that humans are determined to use it to those ends. Otherwise it is merely wires and lights in a box.” The alliteration of which sound? I'd even say "assonance" instead used draws attention to the fact that the media, as an “instrument”, been trusted with the power to “illuminate” and “inspire” humanity during times where there is a desperate desire for the truth. Clooney further uses alliteration in the quote “I believe today that mature Americans can engage in conversation and controversy, the clash of ideas, with Communists anywhere in the world without becoming contaminated or converted.” In this instance, the alliteration also serves to draw attention to the main ideas conveyed as that individuals should be tolerant of one another to limit conflict. In capitalist societies, as Good Night and Good Luck was set in, only rarely would one speak of Communists in a light that was not demeaning. However, as touched on by Hochscherf and Laucht in their critical reading of the text, “the film epitomises on the hegemonial power of the relatively new medium” – the media were able to do speak somewhat controversially whilst possibly changing the view of their audience due to the power they held and continue to hold today. John F. Kennedy has also been influenced by the idea of power during the After the Bomb period, and has used his position as an authoritative individual to convey his own beliefs about humanity in his Berlin Speech. Kennedy speaks highly of the statement “Civus romanus sum,” an allusion to what use to be said to become a Roman citizen. When saying this quote in the context that it was used, the individual was promised freedom and rights, which is exactly what Germans were desperate for during the Cold War era. Kennedy’s use of “Ich bin ein Berliner” inspired by this statement was able to effectively deliver optimism for his audience, and for humanity by establishing the ideas individuals intensely wanted. Kennedy goes on to say that his nation “Will come again if ever needed,” with the high modal emotive language generating unity and the building of power between capitalist societies, essential to promoting hope for a peaceful future as a common human belief and way of thinking. The deliberation of views on bodies and individuals with power has notably had an impact on the composers who construct their texts within the context of the After the Bomb period. In both Good Night and Good Luck and the Berlin Speech, Clooney and Kennedy illustrate the positive use of power, to create human beliefs of optimism, and ensure that faith remained for humanity. Nice paragraph!

Whilst some individuals preferred to focus on the resilience of humanity, others recognised the futility felt during the After the Bomb period as a result of the destruction surrounding them. In Waiting for Godot, Beckett displays the human belief that individuals continued to wait for a saviour of sorts during times of despair, even when there was no certainty that this relief would come. Rewrite this sentence - the human belief is not a past tense action, which you have as "continued to wait" perhaps, "the human belief in a saviour, especially during times of despair." In his reading of the play, James H Reid states that “Its anguished anticipation repeatedly fades into game playing,” thus exemplifying the naivety of humanity shown throughout the play. When expressing that he wants to leave, Estragon asks Vladimir “Why not?” when he dismisses the idea, to which Vladimir replies “We’re waiting for Godot.” The short syntax creates a frantic tone, whilst the inclusive language used shows that whilst the two may feel alone, they are unable to leave each other and unable to stop waiting. This reveals that whilst humans may have felt weak, humanity was experiencing this time period as a collective. Estragon also states “Don’t let’s do anything. It’s safer,” showing his fear by using enigmatic language, not making sense when first read or heard, and as though the fear is making his expression incomprehensible. Beckett again shows the fragile side of humanity during this time period as language being one of the only areas of power left for the everyday individual has now also been destroyed due to the fear that is stimulated from waiting. In When the Wind Blows, Briggs uses pessimism and tone to demonstrate the feebleness of humanity. Jim states that “The powers that be will get to us in the end,” in which continues to be repeated, continuing the feeling of being powerless as they feel the threat of the bomb every day. Near the time of the bomb hitting, speech bubbles turn sharp and the fonts grow larger in capital letters, creating an anxious tone and exemplifies the overpowering fear of the bomb that eventually controlled the lives of individuals. Whilst humanity tried to believe in hope, in some circumstances it was this belief that revealed their fragility, and thus a vicious cycle of weakness continued.

The deliberation on whether humanity has worth, or if it is the opposite in being purposeless, has been reflective on the experimentation of form and ideas during the After the Bomb period to a significant extent. The constructers have used their texts to portray their own beliefs regarding human kind, and have strategically used various functions to ensure their audience gain a new perspective or renew their own, and thus exhibiting the importance and power of literature during this time.

Excellent essay! Really well written. There are a few expression things to work on, but your overall structure really shows your confidence in exploring ideas through texts. I really, really, like the structure. It's complex but seamless. In terms of answering the question, you've only addressed the "intense" part of the question three times, once in the introduction. I'd be tackling this head on to separate yourself further from other students who will fall to the same mistake as you of leaving that important adverb out of the equation!

Your textual evidence is great, although sometimes the quotes are long, and only explored with a simple analysis of one technique. Where you can, try and compound techniques (tone and alliteration, or truncated sentence with connotation, etc) in order to really show you understand how the components of the text work together.

You should be really proud of this overall! :)
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