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March 29, 2024, 10:47:15 am

Poll

Should Poet and Lex get septum piercings together? 😜

YES YES YES YES
7 (70%)
ehhhh, nah
3 (30%)

Total Members Voted: 10

Voting closed: September 12, 2020, 06:56:10 pm

Author Topic: w0lfqu33ns problematic journal!  (Read 37474 times)

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w0lfqu33n89

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Re: w0lfqu33ns problematic journal!
« Reply #105 on: May 22, 2019, 09:25:36 pm »
+5
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« Last Edit: November 17, 2021, 01:38:55 am by w0lfqu33n89 »

w0lfqu33n89

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Re: w0lfqu33ns problematic journal!
« Reply #106 on: May 29, 2019, 09:40:47 pm »
+6
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« Last Edit: November 17, 2021, 01:39:08 am by w0lfqu33n89 »

PhoenixxFire

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Re: w0lfqu33ns problematic journal!
« Reply #107 on: June 04, 2019, 08:21:01 pm »
+6
to start off with my singing, I recorded a song with my cousin!!!!! Omg whatttt!?!?!? yes! this chick right hear had the confidence to sing infront of someone else! Honestly I still feel like compared to him I sounded like shit but hey! Baby steps, very small baby steps.
That's so awesome! What song did you sing?

Exams are around the corner... :( following me around like my shadow. I am so stressed and have my math exam up first. Pretty sure I'm gonna fail but what can you do when your shit....am I right?

Tomorrow I have a French oral exam and I am so mad at myself as I left my book in my locker so I have to revise at recess only. SHIT!
Onya Lexie, you dumbass!
Just remember that you don't have too long left until the holidays, and that these exams don't determine how well you'll do in future exams, or future life more broadly. Was your oral okay?

As a kid I hated the colour yellow, idk why. I just always hated the colour. Then in high school I was put into Yellow House. Hated it.
This is exactly how I felt about yellow. Didn't think I could get a worse house colour than yellow...then I moved schools and got orange ::)

- Being younger and in primary school it is just so easy to not care about anything and anyone. But as soon as I was put in high school and put in yellow house, I started being insecure, hating myself, not loving anything I have or have to offer.

Dont get me wrong I have never loved myself and have always hated who I see in the mirror. but high school has taken it to the next level.

I guess its so hard to explain because no-one ever understands when I try and explain it. I have been told "just look in the mirror everyday and say you are beautiful and one day you will believe it" and I have had people get mad at me and frustrated. But I dont know how to change. I have dug this hole so deep that I couldn't even claw my way out.
For what it's worth, uni is significantly less bad than high school in this regard. I've found there's heaps more freedom to be yourself - and to figure out who that is - and that there are other people who have had similar experiences and do understand.

Anyways. Exams start in approximately 5 days and I am shitting myself. I feel like I am just going to fail them all because I will panic. Pray for me darlings. im gonna need it. xx
Good luck! Just take them one at a time and remember that even if they go badly they're still a useful experience and you can use them to help you improve for your next test.
2019: B. Environment and Sustainability/B. Science @ ANU
2020: Just Vibing
2021: B. Paramedicine/B. Nursing @ ACU Canberra

w0lfqu33n89

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Re: w0lfqu33ns problematic journal!
« Reply #108 on: September 12, 2019, 06:36:37 pm »
+8
hey guys, sorry for being MIA for a while. Been a tough few months. Hopefully I will get back soon but just checking in to let you guys know that I am ok, and I haven't left ATAR. I will be back soon. love you all xx

r1ckworthy

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Re: w0lfqu33ns problematic journal!
« Reply #109 on: September 12, 2019, 08:01:56 pm »
+4
hey guys, sorry for being MIA for a while. Been a tough few months. Hopefully I will get back soon but just checking in to let you guys know that I am ok, and I haven't left ATAR. I will be back soon. love you all xx

Heyyy! So glad you came back, and hope everything's okay ;D
HSC 2019: English Advanced || Mathematics || Mathematics Extension 1 || Physics || Chemistry || Science Extension || Ancient History ||

Bachelor of Physiotherapy @ ACU

The Yr12 journey- a diary I "hope" to update... || Halfway through Year 12... lessons I've learned so far. || Check out my youtube channel!

w0lfqu33n89

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Re: w0lfqu33ns problematic journal!
« Reply #110 on: September 23, 2019, 04:34:29 pm »
+8
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« Last Edit: November 17, 2021, 01:39:40 am by w0lfqu33n89 »

caffinatedloz

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Re: w0lfqu33ns problematic journal!
« Reply #111 on: September 23, 2019, 07:56:13 pm »
+5
Thanks for being so honest w0lfqu33n89! It sounds like you went through a really, really tough time, but I am so glad you are feeling a little better.

Having a panic attack at work must have been really awful, especially if the people around you weren't very helpful.
ok so anyways. My mental health took a bit of a turn, I am at this point now where basically I know I have anxiety and maybe a bit of depression but I am too scared to get 'tested' 'medication' 'help' and all that because I am a) socially awkward b) find nothing about opening up to a stranger in person  comforting in any way and c) I struggle to accept the fact I need help when I spend my life helping others.
There is absolutely no shame in seeking help, and as weird as it may seem to talk to a stranger, it will be super helpful. Even if they don't give you medication, they can just give you strategies for when you are feeling certain ways. Often these can be just as effective as medication and can equip you to deal with life in general better. There are so many different things you can try when feeling anxious or having a panic attack, and if one thing doesn't work, you can always try another thing. For me, not everything works every single time, but generally one of my strategies helps.

I know how it feels when you are generally the "strong" and "helpful" one, but having a balance is a good thing too. You can have relationships where you give and take equally; this is where strong friendships are formed. And when you need to do a little more "taking" sometimes, that is okay too (as long as you still have healthy boundaries).

It sounds like you have taken some really great steps by understanding that you are struggling and looking for a new job, as well as being on your way out of the hole of self-destruction! I can't wait to hear all about your yellow dress! ;D

My PMs are always open babe! <3

caffinatedloz

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Re: w0lfqu33ns problematic journal!
« Reply #112 on: October 20, 2019, 09:53:13 pm »
+2
Heyo! How have you been? ;D

w0lfqu33n89

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Re: w0lfqu33ns problematic journal!
« Reply #113 on: October 22, 2019, 01:20:58 pm »
+11
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« Last Edit: November 17, 2021, 01:40:22 am by w0lfqu33n89 »

Bri MT

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Re: w0lfqu33ns problematic journal!
« Reply #114 on: October 23, 2019, 08:47:36 pm »
+6
We had a question on crossing parents heterozygous for two traits in my mathematical statistics tutorial this week (tutorials are kinda like the classes you're used to in highschool) and it gave me so much energy ahaha. Kinda irrelevant to your journal but punnet squares made me think of it.

Congrats on the 100% in maths but more than that congrats for keeping on trying even though things are hard.

About people going through year 12 exams atm, please don't think that being in year 10 invalidates your exam stress. Personally, year 9 was a lot rougher for me than year 12 because by the time I was in year 12 my wellbeing and mental space was much better even though the content's harder in year 12. One metaphor for this is: whether you're drowning in 2 metres of water or 20 the physiological experience of drowning isn't really going to change so why compare the depth of your water to someone else's?


I hope things ease up for you soon

w0lfqu33n89

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Re: w0lfqu33ns problematic journal!
« Reply #115 on: October 26, 2019, 05:21:34 pm »
+7
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« Last Edit: November 17, 2021, 01:40:35 am by w0lfqu33n89 »

Bri MT

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Re: w0lfqu33ns problematic journal!
« Reply #116 on: October 26, 2019, 06:18:18 pm »
+3


No worries! I'm glad you found it useful :)


It's good to hear that you're focusing on your health & I hope that you start to feel more confident and comfortable in yourself soon :).
I'm far from a health professional but one thing to be cautious of is that coming from a background of family members being overweight increases the chances of developing an eating disorder. If you find that you struggle to achieve your goals I would definitely recommend you see a doctor about this; I'd hate to see you follow a fad diet or social media advice and end up in a worse place

Geoo

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Re: w0lfqu33ns problematic journal!
« Reply #117 on: October 26, 2019, 07:42:53 pm »
+2
It's awesome to hear that you are trying for better health! It really is super important, I can relate so much to what you said about body image, it really can get to you sometimes.
My biggest health thing I am trying to improve is reducing my sugar, I tend to eat alot of chocolate. Do you have that one vice that is hard to resist?
2020: VCE 93.2
2022: BSci/Arts (Chemistry/Pharmacology and French)@Monash

w0lfqu33n89

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Re: w0lfqu33ns problematic journal!
« Reply #118 on: November 20, 2019, 10:38:55 am »
+6
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« Last Edit: November 17, 2021, 01:40:47 am by w0lfqu33n89 »

Bri MT

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Re: w0lfqu33ns problematic journal!
« Reply #119 on: November 20, 2019, 11:06:53 am »
+12
Thanks Bri and Geoo, y'all are gonna hate me though. I haven't been chugging along at all lately. My deb count is up to 14 rejections, I am at the lowest of the low with my mental health and self care and my healthy eating streak is all over the place. Ive hardly walked the last 2 weeks, I am moody and I can't sleep properly. Problems with the boyfriend still aren't the best. family isn't the best, and I have started to see a psychologist. In a nut shell, I love her, she is lovely but also says "your lost" and that I should have started seeing a psych around 2 years ago. I am still eating relatively healthy just not actually eating food regularly. my sleeping patterns are crazy, I am staying up most nights really late, my room is a mess, and I am getting so gross I am wearing the sam shirt 3 times before washing. I do have some days I put my clothes in the wash because I think its gross, and other days I don't give 2 shits. I have had so many breakdowns at school to the point I can now say I have hugged my French teacher and coordinator. OMG. The school bathrooms are my new best friend if I'm honest. I feel like everything in my life is falling apart and I no longer have control, but I have been granted VIP tickets for a gold class screening in 3D of my life falling apart. I am loosing friends and people who mean the world to me and I am scared I am just going to keep getting worse. My psych cant see me again until after xmas and the weather is getting hotter and I have like no shorts and t-shirts I have like one good pair of shorts and 3 t-shirts I wear alternating. I am just on edge all the time and I feel like I can never relax and breathe I feel like I am always aching and even in bed I cant relax, I toss and turn and really all my life consists of now is studying for exams (with a shit tonne of procrastinating), attempted sleeping, breakdowns, Netflix.
I just want to change my name, die my hair, HELL IMMA CUT BANGS BITCH, change my name, and fuck off to another country and start fresh. I feel so done in my world right now. All I do is screw everything up and ruin it myself. 

Hey,

I absolutely don't hate you. You're struggling (a lot) so you've enlisted the aid of a professional to help you with this. You're not at the stage you want to be at and you've identified particular things you want to change. Absolutely none of that would be cause for me to hate or dislike you.

It's going to continue being hard for a while but you can push through this and gradually climb back up. There'll be times when you slip and lose some of your progress but that's ok - it's part of the journey too. Please try to be kind and forgiving of yourself - you won't always succeed with this but practicing it more will help you on your journey.

And honestly, if you screw up your year 10 exams it's not going to have huge future ramifications. At the time it sucks, but it doesn't hang around for very long afterwards. Two years before I broke my school's study score record (did this w/ bio) my science teacher (who was later my bio 3/4 teacher) told me I wouldn't be able to cope with VCE. When I was able to bring myself together and be the student I wanted to be they were very supportive and were a major part of me achieving what I did. Point is, what you do now & the relationships you have now doesn't have to be what you have in a couple of years - and sometimes that's a good thing.

Sometimes it takes things falling apart to build a beautiful mosaic. I wouldn't wish this on you, but I fully believe you'll be able to get to a place that's both different and better.