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Author Topic: The CASual Journey to the End | Ashmi's VCE journal アシュ  (Read 76807 times)

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Coolgalbornin03Lo

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Re: The CASual Journey to the End | Ashmi's VCE journal アシュ
« Reply #225 on: June 27, 2020, 11:05:46 pm »
+4
Wow your doing so many exams....I feel like I’ve already wasted time learning today! I thought I’d do 15 in total for a subject but your doing that this soon, your bound to ace all your subjects!!!!!!!!

Also completely understand hating memorising organic Chem :( is it just reaction pathways your memorising? I tried so hard not to memorise them and I’m not sure if I learnt or memorise in the end but HEY the SACs over.

And oh my gosh rear window! I did that as text response and yeah this movie seems....how can I put this....dry? Like the movies great BUT there’s no thing I can personally connect to like how do I know why Hitchcock chose a mysoginistic character to violate privacy authorial intent?

Enjoy your holidays ashmi!! 😊
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2020: English | Methods | Biology | Chemistry |              Psychology | ATAR: 0
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ashmi

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Re: The CASual Journey to the End | Ashmi's VCE journal アシュ
« Reply #226 on: July 01, 2020, 07:08:40 pm »
+10
Coolgalbornin03Lo✨✨
Wow your doing so many exams....I feel like I’ve already wasted time learning today! I thought I’d do 15 in total for a subject but your doing that this soon, your bound to ace all your subjects!!!!!!!!

Also completely understand hating memorising organic Chem :( is it just reaction pathways your memorising? I tried so hard not to memorise them and I’m not sure if I learnt or memorise in the end but HEY the SACs over.

And oh my gosh rear window! I did that as text response and yeah this movie seems....how can I put this....dry? Like the movies great BUT there’s no thing I can personally connect to like how do I know why Hitchcock chose a mysoginistic character to violate privacy authorial intent?

Enjoy your holidays ashmi!! 😊
Hey Elle!

The only reason I'm doing exams is being our school gave us these big fat bound booklets of exams🤣. I sort of have to plan ahead a little because I have this massive fear I won't get my final costume sewn in time for PDT which is due the second week of September! I'm very far from acing anything but thank you for believing in me🥺.

The pathways for organic chem have been a nightmare and I just hate not being able to 'derive' it ugghhh. Rear Window has been quite boring in a way but I much prefer to write about a movie than a book! The only way I'm getting by is by looking at Lisa's costumes and how it reflects certain values🤣

Thank you Elle for commenting and have a great holiday!🥰
✰Mini-Update: 1/07✰
Current Mood:


Quick summary of how these holidays have gone so far with my holiday homework recap to keep me accountable:

✧I have desperately tried and failed to explain to a friend for 2 days straight the story of the game Kingdom Hearts (I would be surprised if someone knew this🤣). The one thing I could explain was the 'Persona' series and I tried to explain 'Final Fantasy' but that was just as bad as KH.
✧I have hit rock bottom nostalgia with the Pokemon series. I sort of want to redecorate my room to be Pokemon-themed after exams...
✧ Procrastination has become my best friend. I haven't done a great deal of getting ahead with study as I would like. Yay!
✧ Holidays are going way too quickly for my liking.
✧The only subject I've done decent work is Physics. (I'm doomed for English + Chem)
✧I've just realised my Methods and Physics sacs are back to back on the first week back to school. This is perfect.
✧My sleep schedule doesn't exist and I have been living off chocolate + coffee
✧Muji grid B5 notebooks + looseleaf + pens + Lihit Lab binders are life.
✧I missed the Spotlight 40% fabric sale. There goes making some new cosplays.
✧Why have I magically become obsessed with polaroid cameras and Kanken backpacks? Thanks, PDT.

Homework Checklist
PDT: Study for SAC 3rd week back (Fix Workbook/Textbook/mistakes log)
   • Working Drawings
   • Production Plan
   • Risk assessment
   • Construction skirt
   • Construction Prop
   • Exam prep cause we are on our last SAC.

Physics: SAC first week back
   • Rewrite examiners report mistakes into my mistakes log
   • Checkpoints: Finish off Transmission of electricity
   • Unit 3 Exam Booklet (15 exams. 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15)
   • TSSM Practise exams (9 exams)
  • Triple check study design to make sure anything I've learnt for Unit 4 beforehand is still relevant
   • Get mentally prepared to start cracking trial exams in another month or two


Methods: SAC first week back
   • Finish bound reference
   • Checkpoints: Finish Extended Response
   • Practise SACs (4: 1,2,3,4)
   • Finish a quarter of exam booklet (6 exams: 1,2,3,4,5,6)
   • Start on the 100 digital exams cause and pray I can get through enough.
   • Review and add to mistakes log.

Chem: 4th week back SAC
   • Review mistakes log and study design
   • Finish organic Chem
   • Checkpoints O-Chem
   • Prac Exams (6)
   • Unit 3 Prac exams (4)

English: 2nd Week back SAC
   • Essay prompt deconstruction (5 minimum: 1,2,3,4,5)
   • Essay fully completed (min 3: 1,2,3)
   • Reread comparative texts (2 books)
   • Do some Argument Analysis prep.

ashmi

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Re: The CASual Journey to the End | Ashmi's VCE journal アシュ
« Reply #227 on: July 12, 2020, 08:19:58 pm »
+13
✰Update: 12/07✰

Welcome to another messy journal update by yours truly. If you are new here, time to turn back and for those that have already become addicted to this journal welcome back to another episode!
I hope you guys have made the most of your holidays and how are you all feeling for term 3?

Song of this journal update goes to:

✰Physics✰
Got a SAC this Friday and I'm not feeling good. Physics isn't my friend right now and there are just so many things to do but so little time. So our SAC is on electromagnetic induction + electricity which I must say is a fantastic topic, however, I make so many little mistakes when it comes to transmission of electricity. Putting that all aside, I love the content in Physics and yes there may be tricky things here and there, but I absolutely love the challenge! 😎 (And then being absolutely crushed and trying again).

*Ashmi vs Electricity. Stay tuned to see who wins*


Also, last night I was stuck with this weird Physics question that I couldn't solve. It was a really great bonding moment with my friends trying to get somewhere in this problem even though I may have mucked up sleep cycle but that's fine! Got to love sharing OneNote together and desperately writing lines of proof hoping you will get somewhere. (I am so sorry Evolio and whys. I'm the world's biggest hypocrite)

✰Methods✰
I have double-the-trouble Methods SACs this Thursday and next Monday. I'm feeling super good haha.
The objective is to get through as many questions as I physically can and make sure that while I'm at it I finish a few exams in my big exam bundle sitting on my desk. After these two SACs we are moving straight onto probability wooohoo!!

✰English✰
SAC next week Thursday after the second Methods SAC. My next two weeks are going to be hell on a plate. Rear Window is great though and my essays are much better than before so that's a start! My only problem is going to be replicated the same type of quality in an timed environment...
The aim for this week is to get some more essays done and hopefully get some more feedback. English is definitely my weakest subject right now and it is quite hard to do well in (I can already foresee myself stuffing up end of year exams). I'm trying my best sweetheart please let me have a chance of getting into my dream course 😢.

✰PDT✰
Got a SAC on the third week while I'm trying to scramble and sew this whole costume together.😎 I have less than a month to officially sew everything and I don't know how I'm going to do it. (Watch me mad sew like there is no tomorrow for the next month). Because of this subject, I've had to start practise exams early for my other subjects or else I'm definitely going to get behind....
Excluding that, my proficiency in this subject is not the best (in fact none of my subjects I have a deep enough understanding to do well enough) but I'm going to keep trying and just hope my best effort is enough to at least get me somewhere! I don't see myself doing remarkable well in this subject or any of my subjects right now, but hopefully, if I keep learning from my mistakes, staying organised and just enjoying myself I'll get somewhere... Right?😢Please let me do well enough in PDT so I can at least have some control over my future next year. (I can feel Further 2.0 vibes coming from this subject and I don't like it. Stay away from me please)
Other than that, I love you PDT and I'm excited about the weird and wonderful this Term 3!!

✰Chemmy✰
Bless Chem for having a SAC on the fourth week of the term. I couldn't be more thankful!😃 Chem is good but not good right now. I hate MEMORISING. Oh my lord I wish I could just understand things and be able to 'derive' (why can't you be like Methods/Physics).
I'm having so much regret picking this subject and I really wished I went with my gut feeling at the start of the year and changed to Spesh maths... (Kinematics in Spesh looks like so much fun...). I will definitely have to take a bridging subject when I start uni to make up for not doing Spesh which I guess is both a positive and a negative? Since Further left my life last year I've craved maths so badly I think it's becoming a mini addiction (which would also explain why I love Physics so much this year).

Back to Chemmy, I don't like you bro but that might be because I haven't gotten to the juicy stuff yet but I'm keen to learn something interesting soon!

Mini reflection of NYSF?
This is just for my own personal reference for when I reread this whole journal again at the end of the year. Maybe best you skipped it cause it's one lengthy read!
Spoiler
Man, you really want to read what's in this spoiler, don't you?
Spoiler
Nice try you are going to have to keep clicking more
Spoiler
Ok this is the last one before I jump straight into the NYSF train ride.
Spoiler
*It's not negativity for once WOOOHOOO!*

It's been 6 months since NYSF has ended. To those that have no clue what NYSF is, think of it as a selective nerd science camp with some of the most beautiful people you will ever meet + disco style.

I have never hit rock bottom as hard as I have this week. Not demotivated rock bottom, but like an emotional nostalgia rock bottom. When I first heard about NYSF, I thought it was just an average science camp, and when I was picking interest groups, I was sort of interested in engineering so I picked that. What I didn't know was that this engineering group (we were called Newton haha) would give and teach me so...much.

Many things happened from 12:36am evacuation from ANU (bushfire smoke getting into the building), late night disco parties, very competitive science competitions, toothbrush parties, singing for no reason in the dining hall, the riddles that would never stop, running around like lunatics in a shopping centre, bombarding QuEsTaCoN, Formal 2.0,  the many science lectures and even the Newton's dressing up as the bachelor/bachelorettes and somehow winning best group.

The main highlight of this program was the people. Now, the Newton group I was in, the other 11 people in it were the most down to earth people I've ever met in my life. I still don't know how I was able to be a part of this, how out of the 1700 people that applied, I somehow managed to slip past and sometimes my mind wanders off and I think to myself "how did someone like me manage to get this opportunity?". I'm nothing special, but man I got lucky, real lucky.

We may have had our program cut short to only 7 days, but to me, those were the best 7 days I've had in my life to date.

Ok, so that happened and for the past week I've been catching up with my close buddies to see how they are going, and nostalgia hit me like a truck. This week has been filled with NYSF webinars which I must say were amazing and finally being able to all come together to see each other's faces has definitely been a highlight of these holidays. The one thing I'm really looking forward to the fact a lot of people from my interest group is planning to study in Melbourne next year! I am SO looking forward to seeing them all in person again and it's definitely something I'm excited to see at the end of this tunnel, the VCE journey.

So what's the goal now? Get out of VCE with that 85 ATAR! 96 if I sacrifice myself to VCAA I am going to make sure I get to the end of this year alive!!! I need to seriously flush this negativity down the drain
That's a wrap for this journal update! Hope to see you guys sometime soon ;D. For the Yr 11/12s, hope you have a good first day tomorrow!
« Last Edit: July 12, 2020, 08:24:14 pm by ashmi »

Geoo

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Re: The CASual Journey to the End | Ashmi's VCE journal アシュ
« Reply #228 on: July 12, 2020, 08:46:42 pm »
+5
Physics isn't my friend right now.
Aww that sucks, but hopefully you'll be back to being best friends with physics in no time! I remember when I did electricity and electromagnetism in unit 1, and it was something that I really couldn't rap my head around. More so magnetism than electricity (I think it came from confusion with my chem knowledge when I couldn't understand how electrons could move out of their fixed electron shells, in order for them to move to create a flow of electrons to generate electricity...). Anyway I wish you luck on your SAC, i'm sure you'll do great! Out of interest, what is your favourite area of physics that you have studied? For me it was nuclear, particle and astrophysics, which aren't in unit 3/4 if my knowledge is correct (it was a reason why I didn't want to continue on).

Good luck with the sewing piece I can't wait to see it! I think that's the hard bit about portfolio subjects, all the time it takes to work on the pieces!
I know the feeling when it comes to memorising. It's so nice to just understand and apply, which I think a decent chunk of chem is, but the organic chem with all the memorisation, especially in unit 4 course work it's crazy. It makes me wonder how I was able to get through bio..... If I could, I'd give you an SD card for your brain! Good luck, and I hope your first week back is great, and go smash those SACs!
2020: VCE 93.2
2022: BSci/Arts (Chemistry/Pharmacology and French)@Monash

whys

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Re: The CASual Journey to the End | Ashmi's VCE journal アシュ
« Reply #229 on: July 12, 2020, 09:11:19 pm »
+5
Hey ashmi! God, if only term 3 WASN'T filled with SACs... (how nice would that be!)

Like Geeo has said, I hope you and fiziks become best friends soon.

(I am so sorry Evolio and whys. I'm the world's biggest hypocrite)
Insert angry Pingu. You need to get your sleep! Especially now that school is nearing and we have to wake up earlier (at least I do) it's super-duper important that you stick to a (somewhat) consistent sleep schedule.

Anyhow, I'm so glad you finally updated. You seem absolutely on track for methods (oh, how I wish I could say the same!), and I'm sure you'll smash your SACs. Good luck! And your mood with English is my mood with English exactly. I wish I just didn't do English. Thinking about a world without having to write annoying essays over and over seems like bliss. Anyways, that's an alternate reality that will never come true. :'( In fact, I've got my notebook open in front of my laptop with a half-written essay staring right back at me... (yep, I'm going to keep procrastinating actually finishing writing this).

PDT seems so cool! I could never do a folio subject haha, it's so much time and effort! I seriously commend you for keeping up in the first place, let alone actually doing well. You've got this - I believe you'll do really well in PDT. Also chem is a mood - I like it but I suck at it and I put no time into studying it. So, at least you do that. :P Only 2 more terms of chem, then you're free!

Also - NYSF seems super cool, and you make me wish I had applied back then as well! It's great you'll be able to catch up with your friends once all the restrictions ease completely (whenever that will be). I also definitely reckon you can get a 96 ATAR! You've got this Ash. 8)
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eloisegrace

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Re: The CASual Journey to the End | Ashmi's VCE journal アシュ
« Reply #230 on: July 12, 2020, 09:24:30 pm »
+6
✰Physics✰
Got a SAC this Friday and I'm not feeling good. Physics isn't my friend right now and there are just so many things to do but so little time. So our SAC is on electromagnetic induction + electricity which I must say is a fantastic topic, however, I make so many little mistakes when it comes to transmission of electricity. Putting that all aside, I love the content in Physics and yes there may be tricky things here and there, but I absolutely love the challenge! 😎 (And then being absolutely crushed and trying again).

*Ashmi vs Electricity. Stay tuned to see who wins*
Hey Ash! You can do this. I love your passion for physics (wish I had a passion like that). Also I can so relate to the Ashmi vs Electricity series, that's the same as Eloise vs Methods hahaha. Let's hope we both win :)!

✰Methods✰
I have double-the-trouble Methods SACs this Thursday and next Monday. I'm feeling super good haha.
The objective is to get through as many questions as I physically can and make sure that while I'm at it I finish a few exams in my big exam bundle sitting on my desk. After these two SACs we are moving straight onto probability wooohoo!!
You can do it ashmi! Two Methods SACs is a lot but I know you are able to do it. I am very glad you are looking forward to probability, hahaha I could only wish. I am dreading it  :'( :'(

Mini reflection of NYSF?
This is just for my own personal reference for when I reread this whole journal again at the end of the year. Maybe best you skipped it cause it's one lengthy read!
Spoiler
Man, you really want to read what's in this spoiler, don't you?
Spoiler
Nice try you are going to have to keep clicking more
Spoiler
Ok this is the last one before I jump straight into the NYSF train ride.
Spoiler
*It's not negativity for once WOOOHOOO!*

It's been 6 months since NYSF has ended. To those that have no clue what NYSF is, think of it as a selective nerd science camp with some of the most beautiful people you will ever meet + disco style.

I have never hit rock bottom as hard as I have this week. Not demotivated rock bottom, but like an emotional nostalgia rock bottom. When I first heard about NYSF, I thought it was just an average science camp, and when I was picking interest groups, I was sort of interested in engineering so I picked that. What I didn't know was that this engineering group (we were called Newton haha) would give and teach me so...much.

Many things happened from 12:36am evacuation from ANU (bushfire smoke getting into the building), late night disco parties, very competitive science competitions, toothbrush parties, singing for no reason in the dining hall, the riddles that would never stop, running around like lunatics in a shopping centre, bombarding QuEsTaCoN, Formal 2.0,  the many science lectures and even the Newton's dressing up as the bachelor/bachelorettes and somehow winning best group.

The main highlight of this program was the people. Now, the Newton group I was in, the other 11 people in it were the most down to earth people I've ever met in my life. I still don't know how I was able to be a part of this, how out of the 1700 people that applied, I somehow managed to slip past and sometimes my mind wanders off and I think to myself "how did someone like me manage to get this opportunity?". I'm nothing special, but man I got lucky, real lucky.

We may have had our program cut short to only 7 days, but to me, those were the best 7 days I've had in my life to date.

Ok, so that happened and for the past week I've been catching up with my close buddies to see how they are going, and nostalgia hit me like a truck. This week has been filled with NYSF webinars which I must say were amazing and finally being able to all come together to see each other's faces has definitely been a highlight of these holidays. The one thing I'm really looking forward to the fact a lot of people from my interest group is planning to study in Melbourne next year! I am SO looking forward to seeing them all in person again and it's definitely something I'm excited to see at the end of this tunnel, the VCE journey.

So what's the goal now? Get out of VCE with that 85 ATAR! 96 if I sacrifice myself to VCAA I am going to make sure I get to the end of this year alive!!! I need to seriously flush this negativity down the drain
That's a wrap for this journal update! Hope to see you guys sometime soon ;D. For the Yr 11/12s, hope you have a good first day tomorrow!
Seems like NYSF is a great program and I am seriously considering at least applying for it. I am really sad that my French Exchange isn't going ahead due to COVID but hopefully domestic travel will go ahead and the NYSF can go ahead in January :)
2020 - mathematical methods [42] | further mathematics [45]
2021 - english language [45] | chemistry [36] | french [33] | physical education [44]
ATAR - 98.75
my vce journey !
2022 - bachelor of commerce and bachelor of politics, philosophy and economics @ the australian national university

ashmi

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Re: The CASual Journey to the End | Ashmi's VCE journal アシュ
« Reply #231 on: July 13, 2020, 09:39:25 pm »
+8
Aww that sucks, but hopefully you'll be back to being best friends with physics in no time! I remember when I did electricity and electromagnetism in unit 1, and it was something that I really couldn't rap my head around. More so magnetism than electricity (I think it came from confusion with my chem knowledge when I couldn't understand how electrons could move out of their fixed electron shells, in order for them to move to create a flow of electrons to generate electricity...). Anyway I wish you luck on your SAC, i'm sure you'll do great! Out of interest, what is your favourite area of physics that you have studied? For me it was nuclear, particle and astrophysics, which aren't in unit 3/4 if my knowledge is correct (it was a reason why I didn't want to continue on).

Good luck with the sewing piece I can't wait to see it! I think that's the hard bit about portfolio subjects, all the time it takes to work on the pieces!
I know the feeling when it comes to memorising. It's so nice to just understand and apply, which I think a decent chunk of chem is, but the organic chem with all the memorisation, especially in unit 4 course work it's crazy. It makes me wonder how I was able to get through bio..... If I could, I'd give you an SD card for your brain! Good luck, and I hope your first week back is great, and go smash those SACs!
Hey Geoo!! 😄🥰 (I love seeing a reply from you)

Me and Physics right now are on that rocky road but after being at school today it seems like we might be making some progress together. There is less tension between the two of us and I'm hoping that tomorrow's Physics class fixes it! (You are so dead right when you say we will be back in no time).
Electricity is actually quite hard when you don't have any foundation (me) and all the concepts are just super weird isn't it? Chem and Physics clash with each other in the best and worst ways sometimes😂. For me, I absolutely love Mechanics/Kinematics + Electricity! There is something about those topics I'm easily drawn too (possibly the fact it's super easy to demo in real life). Particle physics is so interesting and it's a shame it isn't on the study design (like imagine being able to learn about all this super cool random particles woah).

Folio subjects are definitely underrated in VCE. I'm excited to see more of your Food Tech creations in the future too! (They always look so good). If you can send an SD card for my brain Geoo I will happily pay for priority mail 🤣. Memorisation = big no, just no.

Thank you so much Geeo for your kind words (🥺) and I hope you have a great week!

Hey ashmi! God, if only term 3 WASN'T filled with SACs... (how nice would that be!)

Like Geeo has said, I hope you and fiziks become best friends soon.
Insert angry Pingu. You need to get your sleep! Especially now that school is nearing and we have to wake up earlier (at least I do) it's super-duper important that you stick to a (somewhat) consistent sleep schedule.

Anyhow, I'm so glad you finally updated. You seem absolutely on track for methods (oh, how I wish I could say the same!), and I'm sure you'll smash your SACs. Good luck! And your mood with English is my mood with English exactly. I wish I just didn't do English. Thinking about a world without having to write annoying essays over and over seems like bliss. Anyways, that's an alternate reality that will never come true. :'( In fact, I've got my notebook open in front of my laptop with a half-written essay staring right back at me... (yep, I'm going to keep procrastinating actually finishing writing this).

PDT seems so cool! I could never do a folio subject haha, it's so much time and effort! I seriously commend you for keeping up in the first place, let alone actually doing well. You've got this - I believe you'll do really well in PDT. Also chem is a mood - I like it but I suck at it and I put no time into studying it. So, at least you do that. :P Only 2 more terms of chem, then you're free!

Also - NYSF seems super cool, and you make me wish I had applied back then as well! It's great you'll be able to catch up with your friends once all the restrictions ease completely (whenever that will be). I also definitely reckon you can get a 96 ATAR! You've got this Ash. 8)
Hey hey whys! 🥰🥰
(I love seeing a reply from you cause I know it's going to be one juicy read😎)

Just as I've said to Geoo above, I and good old 'fiziks' are making progress. It's slow, but I'm sure with a bit more exposure to my Physics room we can be best buds again! I laughed way too hard when I saw 'angry pingu' 🤣🤣🤣. I promise that this week I'll try to get my sleep schedule back on track (yay 6am I love you too sweetheart) and that I think is going to be my new goal this week!

Nah whys I'm pretty sure Methods is going alright for you too! (Note: Just ordered my bound reference for printing at Officeworks. The only productive methods of the day haha). I swear we must be two peas in a pod or something when it comes to English. Honestly, if English essays would just disappear in our world we would be in a better place. We will forever be daydreaming of a world that will never happen😔. I have a essay on my computer starting at me too... which I hopefully am going to attempt after writing this! (nah I'm going to procrastinate).
I must admit PDT is super cool! But as the same time it's super draining and it really does make me question why I picked to do a folio subject. (Please check on your folio friends we might be slightly dying on the inside🤡🤡). 2 more terms of chem to go!! (just another 4 months yay)

whys you are like my personal cheerleader with your supportive words🥺🥺🥺. Thank you so much and I hope you have a great week!!

Hey Ash! You can do this. I love your passion for physics (wish I had a passion like that). Also I can so relate to the Ashmi vs Electricity series, that's the same as Eloise vs Methods hahaha. Let's hope we both win :)!
You can do it ashmi! Two Methods SACs is a lot but I know you are able to do it. I am very glad you are looking forward to probability, hahaha I could only wish. I am dreading it  :'( :'(
Seems like NYSF is a great program and I am seriously considering at least applying for it. I am really sad that my French Exchange isn't going ahead due to COVID but hopefully domestic travel will go ahead and the NYSF can go ahead in January :)

Hey El! 🥰

I would love to see an episode update of Eloise vs Methods! (Watch me go grab some hot popcorn and get comfy in my chair). Hopefully I'll survive past this Methods SAC and see the light at the end of the tunnel. I don't know why but there is something I like about probability (sorry functions I don't really like you). Please do consider applying to NYSF because it is definitely one of the best experiences you will ever get! (If it runs that is). If you are really passionate in science than NYSF will definitely be a highlight of your year hands down. If you need help with NYSF just give me a buzz!

Thank you El for stopping by to this journal and your encouragement🥺. Make the most out of this week!

ArtyDreams

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Re: The CASual Journey to the End | Ashmi's VCE journal アシュ
« Reply #232 on: July 13, 2020, 10:11:04 pm »
+5
YAYYYYY I love an ashmi update!!!

Like everyone has said before..........Physics will make up with you in no time. I seriously admire your passion for this subject so so so so so much and I wish I could say the same! I'm so positive you will reach all your goals in this subject, because having a strong passion for something makes everything so much easier!!

I wish you the BESTTTTTT of luck in Methods and Eng - Eng is such a drag but I'm sure you'll be fine!! And yay! I'm glad methods is wokring for you!!

Ahhhhh the dreaded folio subject - we love it and hate it so much - but so rewarding. I'm sending you all my artistic powers and I;m sure you'll get your costume done in time!! I'm so excited to see your finished outcome!!

**sending you a magic chemical potion to make you love chemmmmmmmmmmyyyyyyyyy**

Awesome update Ash and have an awesome first week back of term!!

Bri MT

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Re: The CASual Journey to the End | Ashmi's VCE journal アシュ
« Reply #233 on: July 14, 2020, 11:42:35 am »
+1

✰Mini-Update: 1/07✰
Current Mood:
(Image removed from quote.)

✧I have desperately tried and failed to explain to a friend for 2 days straight the story of the game Kingdom Hearts (I would be surprised if someone knew this🤣). The one thing I could explain was the 'Persona' series and I tried to explain 'Final Fantasy' but that was just as bad as KH.



LATE reply but I understand this!

I haven't seen the DLC stuff for KH3 and only know part of the KHUx story line (and none of dark roads) but aside from that I get KH.

Which FF game were you trying to explain?

KH3 / KHUx spoilers
I know that Ventus was a leader of the dandelions but I'm not sure what's happened to then have the events referenced in Birth by Sleep with Xehanort dropping him off??

Maybe I'm just forgetting things but I want to learn what that gap is

ashmi

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Re: The CASual Journey to the End | Ashmi's VCE journal アシュ
« Reply #234 on: July 16, 2020, 10:49:23 pm »
+7
ArtyDreams
YAYYYYY I love an ashmi update!!!

Like everyone has said before..........Physics will make up with you in no time. I seriously admire your passion for this subject so so so so so much and I wish I could say the same! I'm so positive you will reach all your goals in this subject, because having a strong passion for something makes everything so much easier!!

I wish you the BESTTTTTT of luck in Methods and Eng - Eng is such a drag but I'm sure you'll be fine!! And yay! I'm glad methods is wokring for you!!

Ahhhhh the dreaded folio subject - we love it and hate it so much - but so rewarding. I'm sending you all my artistic powers and I;m sure you'll get your costume done in time!! I'm so excited to see your finished outcome!!

**sending you a magic chemical potion to make you love chemmmmmmmmmmyyyyyyyyy**

Awesome update Ash and have an awesome first week back of term!!

Hey hey Arty!😃

I don't really know what's up with Physics myself (especially since I hated it so much last year) but our relationship together is improving quite quickly and there is something about it that I absolutely love? I really don't know what it is, but I hope it stays 🤣

Folio subjects are so hard (I don't know how you are coping with your art folio) but they are definitely rewarding at the end when you can see all your work in one place! I'm excited to see more of your artwork soon!! I would love it if you can send some good old chemmy magical love potion this way if you can because I'm seriously losing all sense of reality in this subject🤣.

Thanks Arty for replying and enjoy the rest of the week!

Bri MT
Hey Bri!🐢🐢

I was trying to explain the Final Fantasy I & II: Dawn of Souls for the Game Boy! I spent a whole day talking about the original plot of FF 1 and then the second day explaining FF 2, but by then they probably had too much information put onto them in the course of 48 hours😂 (I think they were more confused about the gameplay rather than the actual plot). We were originally talking about JRPG, then FF came into the conversation and we started talking about this...

I haven't seen the DLC stuff for KH3 and only know part of the KHUx story line (and none of dark roads) but aside from that I get KH.
We are exactly the same with this point because the stuff you haven't seen is the stuff I've also haven't seen🤣. (My plan after exams is to catch up on everything because I'm so behind. I've only seen a bit of gameplay from others here and there for those ones you've mentioned)

To sum up how I attempted to explain KH to them it was:
>Keys everywhere
>Donald heal me PLEASE
>RIP Goofy KH2
>Mickey is the good guy
>This can't be real
> It's only KH if the characters are falling constantly.
>And last but not least, no one actually fully knows what's going on half the time

Either way, great to know we got some culture on the forums😃. Enjoy the rest of your week Bri!

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Re: The CASual Journey to the End | Ashmi's VCE journal アシュ
« Reply #235 on: August 02, 2020, 08:23:09 pm »
+3
✰Update: 8/06✰

Hey AN! I think this is the first time I haven't gone on AN in two weeks... (Catching up with the amazing journals on here has been super hard). Life has gotten in the way and I've been overwhelmed by everything but I'm back with another journal update!  8)
(Image removed from quote.)

Songs of this journal update goes to:
I couldn't decide on one🤣

✰I live in my school's Physics room✰
So on the first day back at school, the very first place I went to was the Physics room. That's right, I bypassed food and my locker for the physics room. 100% worth it.
We have been learning electromagnetism and induction (AOS 2) and there was something I got really fascinated about. Mother nature doesn't like change and creates a "force" (not exactly a force but for simplicity) to oppose changes in magnetic flux, so I thought, hmmmm how can I use this to my advantage? Well after seeing an experiment with a metal ring go flying because of this idea I was like, YO LET'S MAKE SOMETHING THAT SHOOTS SOMETHING. (My inner gamer coming out here)

And thus, for the past two weeks of my life, I've been trying to construct this device that whenever I change something, I can project something metallic. It wasn't until last Friday where my Physics teacher explained that it looked like I was trying to make a railgun...
So yeah, long story short I've been trying to make a small scaled railgun and shoot random things with it.

Other than that, I've gone completely off topic with the VCE course and was like" I wanna learn rotational mechanics" so that's where I've been.... I know what I'm about to say sounds really lame, but now I can spin a bicycle wheel and tell you what's going on.😂
We have a SAC next term on electrical power which is a big relief (less to worry about) and so far so good!

✰Chemy Chemy Chem Chem✰
Had a SAC afterschool last Thursday. Didn't go as well as I wanted but I'm glad it's over and that means moving onto the Scientific Investigation! I'm relieved to finally have that SAC off my mind and move onto other more important things and hopefully improve in the future! Someone remind me why I picked this subject again? I needed Spesh maths more than this...

✰CAS has entered the chat✰
HELLO MY LITTLE CAS BABY WHAT'S UP?
So our official Methods SAC has been moved?? To next term??? WHAT?
We have just been having tests here and there but nothing official. I really have no clue what's going on but will update when I know something. There is one thing I do know though and that is the fact I have another Methods Test in 2 weeks. Fun times! Other than that, things seem to be going smoothly.

✰Drawing? What's that? PDT✰
Hahahahaha.... Hey mate. Long time no see.
So let's start with that 70 mark SAC I had the other day. Ya girl over here somehow managed to get full marks and I still don't know how but WOOHOOO I'll take it! So yes, after my mini celebration I got back onto drawing design options. My folio got checked last week and so far was so good! Now, I just have to finalise everything so I can start on working drawings soon.

Spoiler

Some drawings I've been working on recently. One of them may actually be the real thing I make UwU

✰Yo Rear Window English✰
I'm not going to even comment on this subject cause nothing is happening. I'm not joking this subject is so boring and I can't even engage with it. I want it to disappear ASAP but then again I know I need to do well or I'm screwed. I'm really hoping I can bring up my average after that A.A SAC so at least I can stand a chance at end of year exams.

Life/Goals and you name it mini-update:
So a lot has happened since I've been off AN. Let's talk positive though.
I think the first big thing is that now, I now firmly know what I wanna do in 2021. I want to study electrical engineering, and that is final. Turns out that my Physics teacher is an E.E and after talking to him, something sort of "clicked" in me, something felt "right". I can't describe this feeling but after feeling lost for a long time, this is it, I have finally found it. I have a goal and my lord it feels good to know there is something to chase after.

So YAS that's the good bits. Moving onto the more shocking realisation bits. Hahaha... I just looked at the VTAC statistics for the courses I'm considering, and both look quite...daunting?

I mean looking at the UniMelb Bachelor Sci/Masters Eng was already terrifying enough with its median being 98.15 but then I looked at the BSci and median 91.85... I'm scared, it looks tough.
Other than that, I've finally gotten back onto my feet after what seems forever and I'm ready to tackle the challenge once again. I need to keep going forward and that's exactly what I'm gonna do! I am not looking back now and I've got my eyes staring straight ahead. I'm going to drag myself over to my goal even if it kills me. I am getting there slowly and I'm trying but I WILL get there. I AM GOING TO MAKE IT...somehow Ok that sounds so cheesy
Spoiler
*Make way negative Ashmi coming through*

Personal life-wise, everything has been a bloody mess, especially in the past few weeks.

I think the one thing I can talk about which isn't dark in this journal though, is the idea that for the past few days, my parents have been trying to stop me from studying something STEM-related? They know I hate finance and business yet no matter how much I say no, they are very... persistent. Yeah, that's the best word for this scenario. Persistent.
I've tried reasoning with them multiple times, but it seems they don't want to accept what I'm saying? I'm paying for my course anyway so I don't know why you guys are angry? I think I sort of got the idea with what they were saying when it comes to 'good paying', but I'm not really all about the money? I more about the enjoyment and being happy concept? I think it will go away with a bit of time and they are going to have to accept it anyway cause these science/maths subjects makes me happy.

This journal itself has also become my "recovery mechanism". It holds no other purpose than to stop me from going insane, and so far, it has stopped me countless times from falling too deep. I'm grateful that somewhere on the internet, I can write and write and write without no one ever finding out who I really am. Maybe it's the idea that on here, I don't need to be an illusionist. One day, this journal might help someone out, but in the meantime, it's here to talk about the weird, wonderful and the wild stuff.

OKI DOKI LEMME MOVE ON BRO.
Something good happened today, I got another tutoring job for Further! I'm really happy to be teaching as it forces me to be social and actually communicate which is a plus! There is something I love about teaching others... not sure what it is though. Might find that out in the future.

Goals for now:
> Get into at least BSci at MelbUni (and be the first person on my Dad's side to have a tertiary education whoop whoop! Even better the BSci + Masters Eng)
> Smash some Physics Unit 3 exams
> Get PDT together and mass print folio out.
> Go to Muji and treat myself for once.
> Start studying like wildfire to make sure PDT doesn't swallow me whole for my other subjects.
> Just hope that I've done enough to get me to that next step in life.
That's it for today's update! I have started sewing some costumes and I'm hoping to do some more crafty stuff this weekend (Might show a pic of the product when it's done too) ;D

okay first, I saw Haikyuu and my heart literally dropped wuwuwu so cuteeee, i love the gifs you have damn you got some treasure and!!! congrats for SAC?!! I'm so happy for you woop woop and even though 91 seems so far, I totally already believe in you and it sounds like you're uber into physics so I know you're totally gonna get it !!! go! go! let go! lets go! aSH-mi!!! (used the date kou chant!)
Class of 2020: Advanced English, Japanese Beginners, Economics, Music 1, Visual Arts

ashmi

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Re: The CASual Journey to the End | Ashmi's VCE journal アシュ
« Reply #236 on: August 02, 2020, 11:51:26 pm »
+9
Fluffysama_
okay first, I saw Haikyuu and my heart literally dropped wuwuwu so cuteeee, i love the gifs you have damn you got some treasure and!!! congrats for SAC?!! I'm so happy for you woop woop and even though 91 seems so far, I totally already believe in you and it sounds like you're uber into physics so I know you're totally gonna get it !!! go! go! let go! lets go! aSH-mi!!! (used the date kou chant!)
Hey Fluffysama!!



Haikyuu is literally the best thing to have in our lives🤣. As soon as I read Datekou, the chant instantly came into my head and I cannot get it out of my head anymore😂. If you can't tell already, I am one huge Oikawa (and Kuroo) fan so you will be seeing more of them in this journal to come. I need to seriously read the HSC forums more (and get back onto your journal )because it sounds like there is some good anime culture on that side!

Thanks for stopping by to this journal Fluffysama and have a great week ahead~

✰Update: 2/08✰

Hey everyone. It's been a while. I haven't been active on AN for quite a bit now and I'm slowly looking at the tons of unseen posts that has piled up (the journey journals have been popping too I must say. Congrats to everyone that have finished SACs recently and those who are still chipping away at work I'm so proud of you all!).

There is so much I want to say and every time I try to do a journal update, I just sit at the computer for a good hour and can't really begin to type anything. Today is a little bit different though because I've actually produced something. Just letting you know, this is going to be a really messy update.

Where on earth have I been?
First things first, corona. My school got shut down last week. We got a notification about 1am on Monday morning  where we were told to not come to school. If I didn't check my phone before I left for the station (had a SAC scheduled period 1), I would have caused myself a whole pack of trouble. So yeah, we were in remote learning before the big news today happened. Contact tracing is still going on in the background and it seems like a Yr 12 student has contracted the virus. At my school, many of my classmates aren't coping well (especially since lots of people left stuff in their lockers) and the art/tech students have been hit quite badly cause no one can finish making their projects or their folios are stranded at school (the amount of tears is unreal).

With the news today about remote learning, I'm looking forward to the amount of extra time I can use on making my PDT product at home to help decreases stress in time for exam prep. Right now, the best words to describe how I'm feeling (stealing these words from little bro you know who you are) is 'feeling detached from your own body'. I just feel like nothing but a mere machine and that's pretty much a summary of how my life has been going since the last update.

Now song of this journal update~
Spoiler
The song:
The soundtrack that's been on my endless repeat list:
We are chucking this in here too because of nostalgia
✰Methods✰
Did badly in my Methods SAC. I've already gotten my score back and it's the lowest score I've received all year for any of my subjects. There were two parts to this SAC, and although I stuffed up badly on the first one, somehow in the second part (which is worth more marks thank lord), I managed to top my class? (Possibly the cohort too but they are still cross-marking). It made my score average in the end but still it was quite a disappointment. What I've learnt: I need to stop panicking because I do better when I stop caring than when I do care.
Am I upset? Yes. Can the end of year exam bring up my score? I hope.

✰Physics✰
Update: Me and Physics have recovered from our rocky relationship and have become best buds again.

So after the terrible emotional breakdown from the Methods SAC on Thursday (2 weeks ago), I carried those negative emotions into my Physics SAC... Yay. Not as bad as Methods but still the quality of my answers were quite poor. I already knew walking out that I lost two marks and let's say I was absolutely devastated. (This SAC was also out of 30 marks too to give you an idea). Had a good old crying breakdown on the weekend.

Electricity won the battle this time around...however I also won part of the battle too. My score was the highest in the cohort and my teacher said I should be really proud and seriously stop beating myself up for SAC performance. I had mixed feelings, but then I realised that everything gets moderated anyway by the exam regardless of how poorly or well you do so those happy and sad feeling didn't really last for more than 2 min. I went back to learning waves straight after that.

Something really good that happened though before remote learning was that we got to make Chladni figures! Yes, our eardrums may have died a little because of the high pitch frequency (I kept hearing things for a good 24hrs after that) and we may have annoyed other classes around us, but we got to make these super cool patterns! Physics has really been the only good thing that has happened since the last update.

✰Chemmy✰
Chemmy is going somewhat well. SAC was suppose to be tomorrow but since we are stuck in remote learning, it has been cancelled. I'm glad in a way and I'm excited to see what remote learning brings. Either way, I had little expectations from this subject from the very start but I'm going to keep trying my best and see where that takes me!

✰PDT✰
Had my SAC in remote learning and it went well. I've also started making my costume so stick around for future, more positive updates to see some pics.

✰English✰
Had my English SAC and it didn't go the best, but it didn't go badly. Had great ideas but the way I expressed things were poor so that's something I'm really hoping I can fix up and improve by the end of the year. My goal: To find a way to make my writing shorter and more 'fluent' in time for exams.

Spoiler
✰Thoughts on life/school/new expectations✰
Hi, welcome to the exclusive Ashmi negativity corner. Do you wanna be positive? Time to close this spoiler tab and pretend it never existed. If not, then welcome and I hope you enjoy your stay!

I hate to be that type of person, but I'm just ready to leave school.

I don't have that much connection to the school I'm at, and in all honesty, I just don't want to be here anymore? I can't really describe what I'm feeling (maybe you sort of feel it too), but I want to move on. We are now in August. Has my expectations changed at all? Yes. A lot has changed. Personal life wise, things have gotten worse, that's all I'll say.

SEAS application wise, running around half of Melbourne to get documentation and find people for statement of support has been hard but now, I can say I've got all the supporting material I need! I'm really relieved to have something crossed off my list after having it sit there for such a long time, my main problem right now is trying to fit everything under that thing character limit. As a super talented someone said (you know who you are) "never underestimate the power of words" and I don't know how, but that hits deep. You can bet that I'm going to be on my computer tomorrow at 9am ready to put this application in.

Let's move onto something else that's going to cause havoc. I am becoming too obsessed with every mark on SACs I get and it's becoming very unhealthy. I give my best effort, I genuinely mean that, but if you know me well, my best doesn't get me very far. I'm about to disappoint quite a few of you that have been supporting me through this whole journal but I really hope you understand.

You know that 96 ATAR goal to get into Bsci/Masters Eng @UniMelb?
The current goal has been changed to 85. Technically I need about 78 with SEAS, but I'm hoping I can get above 85 (maybe 88 to be absolutely certain) to get into Bsci @UniMelb.

This was not a decision that I took lightly. I didn't just wake up one morning with a "yeah that's it" mindset. I thought about this for a long time and I realised, I can't ask myself more than I'm capable of. There is also another pretty big reason for the sudden change. I was looking at maybe a teeny tiny potential of possibly studying physics to a higher level and the catch is, if I do Bsci majoring in Physics, I can qualify for both Masters Electrical + Masters Physics but if I do Bsci majoring in Electrical systems, I can only qualify for Masters Engineering. (I kinda wanna study Quantum Mechanics too ngl). If I'm being honest, an 85 sounds hard, especially in the new circumstances we are all together in. (To those guys aiming for 99s it's like you are on another planet!)

Something good that has happened recently is one of my friends gave me a cute pack of Mildliners so I've started up a IG pages for posting some notes I've made! It's been really good at helping me calm down and destress (and getting me away from actual work haha). My cat has also been doing this weird 'surveillance' thing recently where she will jump onto the fence and sit there for hours looking at the neighbours (she doesn't want to play with me anymore...). I guess it's good for us cause its our cheap and dodgy version of a camera system.

So that's it for today's weird update. I'm super sleepy but at the same time, my will to watch KH gameplays will ultimately be the reason I stay up a little longer. Might also take a mini-very brief break from AN to get my life together so I might just be floating around the forums for a little bit before diving back into the action. Thank you for supporting this journal and I hope to see you all around💖

Chocolatemilkshake

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Re: The CASual Journey to the End | Ashmi's VCE journal アシュ
« Reply #237 on: August 03, 2020, 06:48:46 am »
+7
First of all you're actually amazing Ash and I love your updates so much!

Where on earth have I been?
First things first, corona. My school got shut down last week. We got a notification about 1am on Monday morning  where we were told to not come to school. If I didn't check my phone before I left for the station (had a SAC scheduled period 1), I would have caused myself a whole pack of trouble. So yeah, we were in remote learning before the big news today happened. Contact tracing is still going on in the background and it seems like a Yr 12 student has contracted the virus. At my school, many of my classmates aren't coping well (especially since lots of people left stuff in their lockers) and the art/tech students have been hit quite badly cause no one can finish making their projects or their folios are stranded at school (the amount of tears is unreal).
Wow! This transition would have been hard (especially since it happened so quickly). (I can't even imagine being a student who chose to do a folio subject and then not having access to a folio). Have you got all your PDT stuff at home though? How's the final going (like how long to go?) I'm super excited to see pictures.

It's okay to be disappointed about methods, but the fact that you topped one of the parts proves that you can do it (so congratulations for that!) I totally understand you about the SAC (stupid mistakes love me too) but you can definitely still bring it up with the end of year exam.

Also CONGRATS on top of the class in physics (you are going to ACE this subject!). Your teacher is right, it's all moderated at the end of the year anyway so the fact that you received the best score really means that those small marks you lost have almost no consequence! (And you won't make the same mistakes on the exam). I love your positivity and passion for physics and am honestly in awe of your physics brain (gosh I would have no idea).

Spoiler
First I feel you about school. Sometimes I'm so over it and really just want to dive into uni life (especially with the year we've had), so you are definitely not alone in your feelings :)

I totally understand the need for new expectations and it's important that you prioritise your health and your feelings. If aiming for a course which requires a lower ATAR helps with that, then we are with you all the way! I'm sure it will still be an incredible experience and the fact that you can qualify for both Masters Electrical + Masters Physics is awesome. An ATAR of 85 is something you are more than MORE THAN capable of (in fact, you are still in with a great chance of hitting that 96 too). I think you should feel proud of your decision to choose Science at Melbourne, because it's your decision and ultimately you know what's best for you. I just encourage you to do what you want to do (and if that means changing back to your original goal in the future or after ATARs are released, then go for that too!) You've got this Ash! 

Thanks for the update Ash and all the best for online learning  8)

2021-2025: BMedSci/M.D @ Monash

homeworkisapotato

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Re: The CASual Journey to the End | Ashmi's VCE journal アシュ
« Reply #238 on: August 07, 2020, 11:01:37 am »
+9
 Hi Ashmi! Just binged your journal and I love it! Your PDT products are AMAZING! I could never be as creative haha
Great job in topping Physics and I love how inspired you are for both STEM AND Design subjects. I hope you are doing well in these dark times and I look forward for the next update  ;D
2020: Biology [43]
2021: Methods, Chemistry, HHD, English, Further
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ashmi

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Re: The CASual Journey to the End | Ashmi's VCE journal アシュ
« Reply #239 on: August 30, 2020, 02:43:46 pm »
+11
✰Update: 30/08✰

*Ashmi posting a journal update*
AN:

Hey guys I'm back from the dead! Its been a while since I've been on AN and it seems like a lot of interesting things have happened. Either way, I'm excited to read some of the new posts after this journal update!

Song of this journal update:
✰Let's talk VTAC/Uni✰
Spoiler
Well hi, welcome back to this mess. This section is going to be a 'blob' of random thoughts so feel free to skip on past.

So on the first day VTAC opened, I made my account and then the following day I put preferences/SEAS in. So at first I put in Bsci/Masters Eng @Unimelb as my first preference [which my friend convinced me to put on as it was a 'lifelong' goal through VCE] and then following just a Bsci @Unimelb.

I thought nothing of it, my mindset being 'It's perfect", "there is no need to change it at all", "this is right". I just told myself that this is the right way to go as Bsci/Masters Eng has everything I could have wanted, the maths, the design and the science all in one place. It sounds flawless.

As the days followed, no matter how well that first preference fits my personality, everything felt so wrong.

I brushed it off, thinking it was just 'me and my thoughts' you know? But then more days passed, the feeling was still there. "Maybe I'm just feeling off that's got to be it" I kept repeating to myself. Then weeks passed, nothing changed.

Something was wrong, and I didn't know why.

So I did a massive brainstorm, scrambling to figure out why it felt wrong.
Was it because the ATAR was too high?
Am I scared to jump into this course?

Now if you have read this journal for long enough, you would know recently I wanted to change to just a stand alone Bsci. At first I thought I changed just because the ATAR is lower and there are 'more' options which would relieve pressure [that's true] but something still felt a bit off.

And then I came to this idea.
Was it because I don't want to do engineering anymore?
I thought about this for a quite a while. No that wasn't right, I still want to do engineering. So what on EARTH was the problem?

And then at that instant moment, I felt like I found the last missing puzzle piece. That missing puzzle piece has been staring me in the face for so long, in fact, it's been there the whole time, I just haven't taken the time to slow down and notice it.

Teaching

Long before I started this VCE journey journal, I was considering teaching as a career. The big question now was "Why did I not think of this earlier?" Well, after tracing my footsteps through the past 2 years, there was not one point in time where I was NOT a student tutor of some sort. Maybe the reason why I haven't given it much thought was that I felt fulfilled with the type of 'teaching' I already do?

Part of me still wants to do teaching, and this my friends is where the warzone begins. Do I do Engineering and make teaching a small side job or do I go full on teaching?

So I sat down and thought about it, maybe overdid it a little.
Some very rough ideas of possible options:

   1. Go with original combo plan of Bsci [electrical systems] /Masters Eng [electrical]
   2. Bsci [physics] -> Masters in Physics
   3. Bsci [physics] -> Masters Eng [electrical] (extra year though)
   4. Bsci [physics/electrical systems] -> Masters of Teaching
   5. Bsci [electrical] -> Masters Eng [electrical] *making this decision later on in life.

After going around in countless circles, I got to some sort of an endpoint.
I hoped back onto today VTAC and you bet I WHOOPED that first combo off my preference and put 1st a standard Bsci. Everything started to feel 'right'.

Ok Ashmi, is it Engineering or Teaching you are going to pursue now?


In short: I'm going to attempt to do both. Will that work? I don't know. But that's alright because I have my whole life ahead and I can jump to different careers!

So what do I need now? That sweet 88 ATAR for guaranteed entry.
✰Life✰
Spoiler

The negative things:
Since the last journal update, my own mental health hasn't been the greatest. I never thought it would be so low and I'll admit, there have been some bad thoughts here and there. I have reached out for some help and it's been a progress of baby steps to getting 'back on track'. Family life has been quite hard too since half of them have caught corona and are in the hospital. Some will be alright but I know some won't make it. It's just been a hard time emotionally. Things can't get worse than they already are. This is what's on my plate, but I need to make it work with me. I need to snap out of,  keep running forward and if I fall down again, I need to get the hell back up and keep moving.

It's weird, being so desperate to obtain an end goal but knowing at the back of your mind it won't happen no matter how much you try. There is always that persistent resistance that just won't go away. However, as they say in Physics, if there is some sort of resistance, it's time to increase your driving force to overcome that. At this point, this motor of mine would combust anything, even if its not fuel. I don't know if that's a good or a bad thing, I'll guess time will tell.

My last 2 SACs I've done [Chem and Physics] have not gone well [even more sad because it's poor Physics] and I don't even know how exams are going to 'moderate' SAC scores. I am going to pray at this point somehow I can get close to full marks on the Physics exam to save my score. Rankings have definitely fallen down quite a bit I can tell [we don't know where we are ranked at my school]. I'm not too sure how rankings is going to work this year, but better to focus on the things you can control rather than the things you can't.

The goal: To get as close as I physically can to getting full marks on the Physics exam.

The good things:
WHOOP WHOOP somehow your girl over here managed to get onto the NYSF interviewing committee! For those that applied to NYSF, if you managed to get an interview and your interview date is either on the 12th or 13th September you may see me floating around on Zoom haha [or even better you may get interviewed by me]. I'm so excited to see some enthusiastic science people and I already know it's going to be hard choosing only 10 -20 out of those that do the interview on the weekend sadly. So many NYSF memories are flooding back as I'm writing this out.
✰School✰

Just going to talk about English today because this has been bothering me all day.
So for my comparative books, I'm doing Stasiland and Never Let Me Go.
Quick summary for those that don't know NLMG, it's about young children [clones] being raised with their sole purpose of donating their organs in the future.

When I first read NLMG I didn't have too much interest in it, however today I decided to watch the film. As soon as the end credits started rolling though, I juts sat there in silence, thinking and thinking.

I have never had so many piercing questions flooding my mind all at once.
"What does it truly mean to be human?"
"Where do I draw the line between what is morally right and wrong?"
"What is being 'humane'?"
"How far does one have to go to prove their have a soul?"

Very weird feelings and questions everywhere but either way, I'm excited to be writing some essays on this book!

I have a Chem SAC tomorrow morning and I don't feel prepared and a Physics SAC on Friday which isn't looking too good either. I'm just going to try my best and make sure I don't make the same mistakes again in the exam!

CM
Hey hey Choco!!
Yeah the folio problem was a super big problem but about 3 weeks later we were given permission to retrieve our stuff. [Massive relief]. I'm actually sewing the final thing right now and they were able to give us an extension till the last week of term to be able to construct our final product and have our folio done. It's been a bit of a bumpy ride but we are all in this together and I'm glad things didn't get any worse.
Choco your words are so full of optimism and I honestly don't know what to say🥺. Thank you so so much 🥺🥺🥺🥺. [You are like my guardian angel]
Potato
Hey Potato!!
First of all, how on EARTH did you binge read this whole journal???! There are so many pages in it I cannot imagine how long it would take to read the whole thing.
Thank you so much for the super encouraging words 🥺🥺🥺[and of course you can be creative, it's just a matter of finding what works for you!].

So yep that's it for today's journal update. See you guys all around sometime.