Chemistry SE Feedback

[dpate68]

Hey can some body please give me feedback on my chemistry draft. It's on the electrical conductivity of Nitric acid. I also need some help cutting down the words from my rationale, and linking it more to my RQ, and i also need to need help improving my trends patterns and relationship, and also need to cut that down.

[Bri MT]

Hey,

Your main struggle with your rationale is that you don't have much direction - this leads to you repeating yourself & taking up lots of wordcount. Try using the "upside down pyramid method" where you start broad (electrical conductivity) and then narrow down on what you will be investigating (how dilution impacts electrical conductivity of strong acids). Make sure that your application of theory supports why you are doing this experiment.

Getting rid of the repetition and improving the "flow" of your rationale would really help improve it

Best of luck and please feel free to ask follow up questions / clarification etc.

[dpate68]

Thank you so much Bri, I think I've made the changes you suggested. If possible could you please also give some feedback on my processed data and trends, patterns and relationships. I asked my teacher and he said i needed to explain why i used y=mx+c, well i initially used it to see the scope of the data. I think I've explained it...but my teacher thinks its not enough. He also wanted be to some how talk about sources of validity and reliability in the trends, patterns and relationships, but I am not sure how to do that.

[dpate68]

Oops, Sorry forgot to attach the document.

[Bri MT]

Thank you so much Bri, I think I've made the changes you suggested. If possible could you please also give some feedback on my processed data and trends, patterns and relationships. I asked my teacher and he said i needed to explain why i used y=mx+c, well i initially used it to see the scope of the data. I think I've explained it...but my teacher thinks its not enough. He also wanted be to some how talk about sources of validity and reliability in the trends, patterns and relationships, but I am not sure how to do that.

No worries, I've attached another feedback doc where I commented on things that stood out to me.


Wdym by "you initially used it to see the scope of the data"?
What your teacher is interested in here is why linear rather than some other type of relationship.


Something you might find useful is to think of each limitation with:
- what is the limitation?
- how does it impact reliability and validity? (how much and what direction)
- how can this be improved in future experiments?

I recommend writing this out as a list on a separate document and then using that to help you write.

 Again, please feel free to ask follow up stuff & I hope this helps

[dpate68]

So regarding the 'research' statement, do i need to have it in the trends patterns and relationships section?

[Bri MT]

So regarding the 'research' statement, do i need to have it in the trends patterns and relationships section?

I have a feeling I'm not fully getting what your question is but the research question goes after the rationale & does not need to be in the trends, patterns, and relationships section. In your conclusion you should address how you have answered this.

[dpate68]

Hey sorry just ignore what i said earlier , i think i've made all the changes. if you (or someone else) could you please have a look at it again, that would be great. I think i might have to improve my conclusion as well.

[dpate68]

Oops forgot to attach it  .

[Bri MT]

Hey sorry just ignore what i said earlier , i think i've made all the changes. if you (or someone else) could you please have a look at it again, that would be great. I think i might have to improve my conclusion as well.

Here you go

I can definitely see the improvement

In future, if you forget to attach something it's better to modify your previous post rather than making a new one - just keeps the forums neater

[dpate68]

I think i've made all the changes, could you please have one last look.

[Bri MT]

I think i've made all the changes, could you please have one last look.

Just some quick feedback:
- still a few grammar mistakes in there
- make sure you go over the reliability, validity, precision & accuracy stuff. For limitations, remember that you can include the direction of impact (would it result in overestimation or underestimation)
- go over your 2nd & 3rd paragraphs of your conclusion
- there are some (fairly unambiguous) comments I've previously made that haven't been addressed


I hope this helps

[Bri MT]

I think i've made all the changes, could you please have one last look.

Just some quick feedback:
- still a few grammar mistakes in there
- make sure you go over the reliability, validity, precision & accuracy stuff. For limitations, remember that you can include the direction of impact (would it result in overestimation or underestimation)
- go over your 2nd & 3rd paragraphs of your conclusion
- there are some (fairly unambiguous) comments I've previously made that haven't been addressed


I hope this helps

[K.Smithy]

Attached is the feedback you requested Wish I could help more but I know literally nothing about chemistry ahaha.