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March 29, 2024, 06:12:09 pm

Author Topic: English Imaginative writing intro Feedback......  (Read 518 times)  Share 

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Roydens19

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English Imaginative writing intro Feedback......
« on: February 11, 2019, 02:07:42 pm »
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hello everyone

could someone give me feedback on my Imaginative writing intro 

The hall way was dark and eerie as she walked towards the stairs, staring out the window at the large full moon, over a vast barren field behind the house where the strange noise had eventuated from. The stairs creaked as she slowly moved down them, she froze as the strange sound rang again. I had followed Amy to the bottom of the stairs but stopped in fear of making a noise and spooking her, I had been secretly following her around the house on her night hunts for strange noises for some months now, but for some reason I felt wired about this noise.
Dawn was breaking as Amy went back to bed having found nothing inside the house. I decided to explore outside, I made a few laps around the house, found nothing I headed towards the sound over the barren landscape. As I walked I saw a dark object looming head, As I got closer I found it was an old burial ground. The shadows were lifting as I arrived making everything move in a ghostly way. There wasn’t much to see so I turned to head back, as I did this a strange figure moved from behind a stone, I turned to see a tattooed man running from the scene. I turned and chased him, all the while wondering what he was doing there and if it was him that made the sounds earlier that morning.
Having chased him for a solid twenty minutes I still hadn't caught him, but I knew who he was and where he lived, he was Amy's last husband. I stopped running and turned for home once more, as I reached the burial ground for a second time that day I found a range of jars full of water, behind a unique head stone surprisingly belonging to my grandfather. I stopped and looked closer at these strange jars that I presumed belonged to the tattooed man Tom, although it was strange that he left them there I didn't see anything that could have made the sound that Amy was searching for.
I decided to head back to check on Amy and then go and find Tom and have a talk to him in a neutral state of mind, I found Amy cooking breakfast in the dimly lit kitchen, having told her of my adventures I quickly got changed and left the house in my car. I found Tom on his veranda peacefully smoking a nicely scented cigar. As I approached him he stood up and greeted me by the hand, Robert how are you, he said, great and you I replied. This chased him to stop and think for a while, finally he replied not to well actually, I was out at the burial ground near your house when a ghostly looking figure appeared and chased me for twenty minutes or so, I ran strait hear and got myself a cigar to calm the nerves you know. I asked him what he was doing there, and he replied that he was paying his respects to his Father by placing flowers on his grave, it was Anzac day after all.