hi all
can someone please provde feedback on my response to human trafficking.
Hey Jordan!! Thanks for posting, I see this is an essay plan, happy to give you some feedback on it!!
Your structure as a whole is perfect, not much I'd change, very well organised
Your introduction looks like it will cover the right things, though I would need to see the question to know for sure. Be sure to establish your
Thesis correctly, that is, the main idea of your essay. Chances are you'll need to be evaluating the responses as you go, so your Thesis might be something as simple as:
International and domestic legal and non legal responses are effective at protecting and promoting human rights with regard to human trafficking. Whatever it is, make sure it is clear, and make sure your
judgement is clear.
Now your first body paragraph is awesome in terms of the evidence you have set up; very comprehensive, very powerful. Love it. The others are lacking a little bit in terms of how much evidence you have. For international legal responses, there is lots to discuss, including the fundamental human rights documents, and I think the ICC has played a role in this area as well. Non Legal is more difficult, you may wish to combine domestic and international to make it easier
Some more evidence in the latter paragraphs would be my main recommendation based on the plan. Do some research, check out our notes section for some Legal Studies notes to help, and let us know if you need a hand!