ATAR Notes: Forum
Uni Stuff => General University Discussion and Queries => Topic started by: A+study on February 03, 2014, 09:49:42 pm
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Like many people on this forum, I am commencing first year uni this year. Two of my subjects are second year (since I did an extension subject) and two of them are off campus. This means I have little to no opportunity to meet people during tutorials. I'm not really sporty or into many of the clubs so I don't think I will sign up for these.
How am I supposed to make friends at uni? I'm an introvert and am worried I will not have an opportunity to meet people. Any tips/advice?
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(http://31.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m87hesMDlD1rxcqmwo1_500.gif)
^ literally me, before starting uni.
Jokes aside, it might sound a bit cliche but just be yourself, some people make friends on the very first day, others make them 2 or 3 weeks into the course. There will always be chances to make friends (such as those dreaded group assignments *shivers*). Though I should tell you, the first week is when hardly anybody knows anyone, so I'm pretty sure there will be a lot of others like you. Just sit next to anyone, but don't look too unapproachable, don't forget to smile :P. (The old 'I forgot my pen, can I borrow yours' trick seems to work most of the time :P).
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Yeah, don't worry I'm an introvert as well (refused to go to my formal, parties - I really hate socializing etc).
I suppose we'll just have to wait until someone makes contact first. lol'
The old 'I forgot my pen, can I borrow yours' trick seems to work most of the time
I asked someone where the public phone was on academic advice day, and they told me to "fuck off." First thing that came into my head, "that went well."
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I can honestly say that I was determined not to talk to anyone at uni (so much effort lel). I did my best to look unapproachable, eyes down, headphones in, having a generally ugly face - y'know, the usual lol. Some guy STILL managed to sit next to me in a lecture and become one of my best friends. He legitimately sat next to me, was ignored by me for a little bit, then introduced himself after a little awkward period. I'm assuming you'll have lectures for the second year subjects - I reckon just chuck yourself in the deep end and introduce yourself to anyone that doesn't look like they're going to take a knife to you.
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introduce yourself to anyone that doesn't look like they're going to take a knife to you.
There seems to be a lot of those people around :/
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I asked someone where the public phone was on academic advice day, and they told me to "fuck off." First thing that came into my head, "that went well."
There seems to be a lot of those people around :/
I can only speak for Monash :|
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I can only speak for Monash :|
lol fair enough, maybe Monash is just kinder.
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Following on from what Brenden said, the people I sat next to during my first lecture and stood in line with during O-Week are still some of my best friends. It's that easy.
It's harder not to make friends at uni than it is to make them, if you put in even a bit of effort. There's so much opportunity. Too many people don't look out for that opportunity and go straight home after class everyday and don't make the most of O-Week and such (i.e. stay home throughout O-Week) and then complain about not being able to make friends. Don't be those people! You have to try! It'll happen, don't let it stress you, and don't let the perceived challenge of it all put you off.
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The thing with uni is there is no pressure to keep up with the pack, if you really wanted to, its possible to make friends whenever. It's not like there are year levels or anything like that to keep up with. People are always graduating, starting, swapping classes, etc. Two being second year really shouldn't matter too much i reckon.
It's kind of hard and it's not in different respects. It's hard in that you need to take initiative most of the time, unlike highschool theres not synchronised times for lunch or anything else, it doesn't really force people together in the same way. I've met plenty of people but hardly any of them became friends, its because you meet a *huge* amount of people but to keep it up you do need to make some kind of effort.
It's easy in the sheer amount of people, you're bound to find someone you like or some kind of activity. There's all different kinds of people so i wouldn't worry about that too much.
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There seems to be a lot of those people around :/
I think that's your perception. Most people are very nice.
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Heya!
Okay, your first op to make friends is O-week. Talk to everyone, talk to people while you line up for sausage sizzles, talk to mentors, talk to librarians. It might be awkward at first, but then you start to get the flow of it. Just smile a bit, be open. :D There's so many people that even if you end up making a fool of yourself, no one will remember.
Oh, go to uni events if you can, join clubs that have meetings on the days that you will be at uni.
It's kind of hard and it's not in different respects. It's hard in that you need to take initiative most of the time, unlike highschool theres not synchronised times for lunch or anything else, it doesn't really force people together in the same way. I've met plenty of people but hardly any of them became friends, its because you meet a *huge* amount of people but to keep it up you do need to make some kind of effort.
^ tottttaaaaallly agreed with kp, uni can be lonely at first because you don't see the same people every day. Some days you walk in and you see everyone you've made friends with. Some days you walk in and there's no one you know. :( But if you can train yourself to take initiative during o-week, you will have a few people to linger around, and when you're already with a person or two, it's always easy to pick up more people who are standing by themselves. Most people will be happy to be adopted into a little friendship posse for the day! During the first few weeks at least....
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I think that's your perception
Asked where the phone was, got told to fuck off. I don't think my perception is the problem.
Idk, maybe she was in a REALLY REALLY bad mood, but it certainly put me off from talking to anyone else that day. lol
I've met plenty of people but hardly any of them became friends, its because you meet a *huge* amount of people but to keep it up you do need to make some kind of effort.
^ THIS.
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you'll find that a lot of people don't have friends in uni but they have friends outside of uni anyway.. stick with your high school friends in case :D high school friends tend to be for life whereas uni friends are momentary.
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you'll find that a lot of people don't have friends in uni but they have friends outside of uni anyway.. stick with your high school friends in case :D high school friends tend to be for life whereas uni friends are momentary.
What high-school did you go to?!
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What high-school did you go to?!
macrob but i meant my previous previous school santa maria.
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How I plan on making friends
(http://www.mrlovenstein.com/images/comics/519_how_to_make_friends_as_an_adult.png)
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^ tottttaaaaallly agreed with kp, uni can be lonely at first because you don't see the same people every day. Some days you walk in and you see everyone you've made friends with. Some days you walk in and there's no one you know. :( But if you can train yourself to take initiative during o-week, you will have a few people to linger around, and when you're already with a person or two, it's always easy to pick up more people who are standing by themselves. Most people will be happy to be adopted into a little friendship posse for the day! During the first few weeks at least....
Yeah definitely, it's less constant than high-school. I think the important thing to try think about is your own perceptions and expectations as well. In highschool i hung around with a large group of people constantly. Going to uni was a bit of a shock because for awhile i'd assumed it'd be like that and i'd have an entourage of people around me like that. Same with the expectation you'll always be around people, might be true for some if you really try at it but it usually isn't always true. For the first few weeks i felt like a bit of a loner but i realised it was my perception of what things should be like that was wrong. Sometimes you might have to eat lunch (shock horror!) and little things like that.
Definitely the perception that people will come up to you or you don't need to do much to get friends needs to go as well. As i said above, i had a shitty first few weeks but then i realised i was doing pretty much nothing to try meet new people and just kind of expected them to come to me.
you'll find that a lot of people don't have friends in uni but they have friends outside of uni anyway.. stick with your high school friends in case :D high school friends tend to be for life whereas uni friends are momentary.
Yeah, i'm definitely much better friends with my highschool friends and even some people from AN than i am with the majority (or maybe all) of my Uni friends. A lot of them have only been acquaintances or i've only talked to them while we were in the same classes. Not that theres necessarily anything wrong with that either, it was kind of a mutual thing in all these cases. If you want to make some longer lasting friends, sport clubs are really good for this, at least thats my experience. Some of the smaller/more focused normal clubs are pretty good for it too (or so i'd imagine).
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Agree with KP that it's really easy to know a lot of people at uni but a lot harder to make close friends. I found it was really easy at uni to have 100+ people you could speak to/know the names of but still have <10 people you'd feel comfortable asking to hang out outside uni with. You have to take the initiative to interact with people outside the academic context otherwise those people will be stuck in the 'acquaintance' zone. As much as you said you don't like this, I highly recommend joining clubs or going to university social events. Being able to interact with people and being socially competent is a life skill and it's an excuse to say you are just 'introverted' and don't want to do these things. Uni should be about trying new things and meeting new people. There are literally thousands of students at most universities and there's bound to be at least a handful with common interests.
So in short join and club and go to their events. It's a great way to meet people outside an academic context, which makes you more comfortable with them = friends yay.