Hello! Time for another update. Let's go.
PsychologyI’m actually starting to hate the subject now, and I thought I never would because you know...psychology! I’ve also been struggling with the GAS model which is really getting on my nerves, so I’ve basically been ignoring it for that reason. Also, I feel like I’m not understanding stuff, so I’ve been putting off doing my notes(I’ve switched to electronic now because it saves way more time). It’s bringing back horrible flashbacks of getting back my Biology SACs and seeing how HARSHLY the teachers mark, like if you don’t have a single keyword, they’re like ‘nope, wrong!’. I have a feeling it’s going to be worse with psychology because we need to memorise definitions and such, which we didn’t really have to do for Biology. Forget I said that Biology was like Psychology, Psychology’s worse. Also, I haven’t done the Checkpoints SA, which I really need to do. Oh, also good news! Our SAC got pushed back one week so it’s in like 2 weeks and 4 days (Week 7), on a Wednesday which gives me more time to revise and understand what on earth the content is about, because I get it but not deep enough.
Specialist Mathematics
Terrible. We had a Vectors test on Thursday(last period, why?), and it went ok. It was a pretty short test but for one of the questions, I got this too complex value for a 2 marker, so I’m worried that I got that wrong. Also, I’m still on Chapter 3 which I should’ve finished by now but it’s so hard to understand and I don’t really get how to draw sec graphs and the inverse trigonometric graphs so I’ve skipped those graphing questions in the exercises and done the easy ones. Call me lazy because I am. Of course, I’ll get back to those. Also, watching Youtube videos to understand concepts have actually been helpful, which is really nice! First SAC is in Term 2, week 1, which yes, does seem far away, but it’s Specialist, so it seems so close because there’s so much to do! I’m really behind in my own study...
ChemistryGoing pretty good, actually! Got to ask my teacher many many many questions from Checkpoints which was great and I’m hoping to do it soon. I don’t want to ask my teacher everyday because I feel like that’ll be pretty annoying, so I’m just waiting a bit and trying to find the answer myself to those redox questions (which are surprisingly fun to do!). Also, by researching and finding those answers, I feel like I learn more about the why behind the concepts which is a big goal I’m aiming for this year! We will be starting Redox the coming week (Chapter 4 I believe). Currently, I’m on Chapter 7 (nearly finished!) and I’m liking the content! It’s supplementing my knowledge about chemical reactions and activation energy which is pretty cool! I haven’t learnt ANY new content since the start of the year so I’ve really got to get going and finish some chapters. First SAC is in Week 8, Thursday or Friday, and it’s one of those ‘responding to a stimulus material’ SACs which really sucks because I have no idea how to do that. I’ve been doing Checkpoints (for like 4 weeks, too long!) and I’m actually starting to get the hang of it! I feel smart! Which is a good feeling! Also, my friends and I started a study group so I’m looking forward to all the new things I’m going to learn!
LiteratureI handed in my comparative essay yesterday (between Daddy and Tulips from Ariel) and I’m pretty sure it’s trash. The main goal I need to be working on is refining my sentences to make them more *dense*, if that makes sense. Like, I need to make them meaningful, concise and rich. I think that’s what I need to do to get at least a 40 in this subject, because this subject is actually pretty hard! First SAC is on March 15, I believe, which is not long at all to refine my skills…
Motivational Pep Talk
Also, I’ve had a very emotional/argumentative/enlightening talk with my mum on the train the other day and I think for the past few weeks, ever since I started school, I have not been doing enough. I think my fear and nervousness got the better of me, which made me less confident in tackling those HARD Checkpoint questions, especially in Chemistry. I need to fake that confidence and JUST DO IT. I usually get so frustrated and irritated when I don’t understand something because I’d dedicated so much time and it’s just been wasted which leads to a cycle of leaving the tasks to the last minute ‘until my mind clears when I can try again’, which I keep telling myself (even when it’s not true). I need to be studying everywhere, especially since so much time is wasted on public transport. I’m starting to rethink whether going to this school was a smart choice. So, I’m trying to make an effort to do anything (even if it’s just watching chemistry youtube videos for consolidation), anywhere. I will do anything to do well. Whatever it takes. Anyways, as you spend more time with the subject, you understand the concepts more (like in Chemistry for me) and I find that when I understand something, I enjoy it.
I also thought that the pain of getting tha 38 and 41 would fuel me to just study with so much fire and motivation whenever I sit down to do it but it hasn’t, I thought that would allow me to reach the top, but whenever I study...I have no feeling. I need to channel that pain, that’s my motivation. That’s going to help me get that >99 ATAR and >90th UCAT percentile. And, it still mindboggles me ‘how did I get those terrible scores?’ Like, was I that bad? Like, what did I even do the whole year? I didn’t even get a 40 for Methods. I’ve set myself up real bad to get into Medicine and I need to pay for it this year. This year is going to be like climbing Mt Everest. I can’t even describe how hard it’s going to be with words. Some people in my school are way closer to getting into Med than I am, which is debilitating but I will do everything in my power to get there.
‘To be in the top 1%, you have to be willing to do what the other 99% aren’t’.
This quote describes my thinking really well.