Building a resilient headspace!

[JR_StudyEd]

7/10/19 - A vain attempt to creatively express how I am feeling right now. I am feeling so unproductive.

Dear life,
You kind of suck right now. Like, a lot. You've put this poor soul through a lot in recent months. Every single day is a struggle. But that's just what you are, and I have no control over that. I am writing to let you know that I am learning. Learning that I am not cut out for certain fields of study. Through my suffering, I have been able to distinguish my passions from what I passionately despise. You have taught me to do things I hate. You are probably aware that I am so incredibly close to closing a chapter of my life that has been 13 years in the making. You may also be aware that I so badly want it to be over, especially due to the not-so-pleasant memories of that 13th year. You know what, thanks. Without the breath in my lungs, I wouldn't be able to express myself. Every day, you find a way to irritate me, but the good times will come eventually. I just have to keep waiting.
Yours truly,
J.R

P.S. Please make the next 5 weeks pass as quickly as the 2 weeks of school holidays. Thanks.

the non-creative part of my post, I guess

I hate each and everyone of my subjects. Methods because it's frustratingly difficult, Chemistry and Biology for pretty much the same reasons (science used to be kind of exciting, but now it's meh), English because I can't write an essay outside of an introduction and Health because I am forced to memorise content that would otherwise be kind of interesting to learn. I would love to be studying Psychology right now, but oh yeah, already did that.

[JR_StudyEd]

17/10/19

I'll make this as concise as possible because it's just about time to go to sleep, and we all underestimate the power of sleep, don't we? Speaking of sleep, why do I feel just as weak on more sleep (like 8.5 hours) than when I get 7 hours of sleep?

It's so difficult to sit down and do a practice exam. It feels like too much to do in one day, especially because I have five subjects in total. I want to let you know that I am not giving up on my 'bottom two' or '10% subjects'. Why? Because I don't know what they will be, so I may as well put my best effort into all my subjects.

[Macrophagee]

Hey
I know how hard it is to balance 5 subjects, and OMG you don't have to do 5 practice exams in one day. Maybe try to do one exam one day, then mark and then go over your mistakes before the next exam the next day. Also for bio, chem and methods there are short topic tests that are for each chapter or topic (like 40-45 mins). Maybe you can do some of these for your weakest areas before starting a full exam? There are ATARnotes and also NEAP and TSSM ones. Maybe check if your school has purchased them.

Hope this helps and good luck

[Snow Leopard]

Speaking of sleep, why do I feel just as weak on more sleep (like 8.5 hours) than when I get 7 hours of sleep?

Lol, same

[JR_StudyEd]

21/10/19

So, there are actually 9 days until my first exam of 2019. There is so much I have not yet done. My calendar is a horrifying sight. Those unfinished and unattempted past VCAA exams must be losing their patience with me right now. I plan carefully, but don't get much done.

For English, I have Section A and C from 2016, Section B from 2018, and the entire 2017 exam (which I will complete on Wednesday 9am) left to do. For Biology, I have the 2017 exam (which I've done like 5 multiple-choice questions, then stopped), as well as the 2018 NHT exam (which I will complete on Friday 9am). For Methods, I have the 2016 exam 2, both 2017 exams, both 2017 NHT exams, and most importantly, both 2018 exams left to do. For Health and HD, I have the Health Teachers Network exams from 2019, and a plethora of others. And for Chemistry, I have the 2017 exam, 2018 NHT, 2018 exam and 2019 NHT on my plate. As you can tell, pretty hectic. And borderline unrealistic. I probably have to cut down on some of these exams, despite most of them being VCAA exams (i.e. the most important exams).

Remember what i said about my calendar being a horrifying sight? Well, this is what it looks like (up to the English exam):
*all exams will be in full timed exam conditions unless stated otherwise. There is no guarantee that I will actually do all this.

22/10: - Finish Section B from 2018 exam (trying to perfect it and get some feedback, so it will be untimed)
- Complete 2018 NHT Chemistry exam (treating it like a worksheet, therefore it will be untimed)
23/10: Complete entirety of 2017 English exam (9am-12:15pm)
24/10: Complete 2017 NHT Methods exam 1
25/10: Complete 2018 NHT Biology exam
26/10: Complete 2017 NHT Methods exam 2
28/10: Complete 2018 Methods exam 1
29/10: Complete 2018 Chemistry exam
30/10: Actual English exam

I haven't even taken into consideration the fact that the 2nd Methods exam from 2017, the 2017 Chemistry exam, Section A and C from the 2016 English exam, the 2nd Methods exam from 2016, the 1st Methods exam from 2017 and the 2017 Biology exam will probably lay dormant for eternity.

I am of course going to get them all marked, or mark them myself.

[caffinatedloz]

//

Just think how soon this will all be over. You only have to work hard for a few more weeks, and then your formal schooling career is over. (Until the adventure of Uni of course). Best of luck as you continue to prepare. I hope that you are able to relax and ensure that you don't get burnt out before exams even begin. It looks like you have a solid preparation plan.

[JR_StudyEd]

23/10/19

There are so many things I would rather be doing. But the fact is that my first exam is in a week. On a more positive note, in one week, I will likely never have to write these kinds of essays again. I wish I could say I will miss studying for my subjects. But I quite frankly won't. I mean, look at me right now. Posting on an online forum, trying to activate my brain into revising.

I give up way too easily. I sit down, set a 10 minute timer, then when things get too hard, I go straight back on my laptop, type in YouTube, and there I go again. If you're in Year 11 or younger, yes, us Year 12s can still fall victim to a lack of motivation and the desire to procrastinate the entire day away. (And uni students too, I guess)

Year 12 has taught me so many things, but the content of my subjects is not one of them. The irony. Year 12 has taught me resilience. You will probably hear this from every Year 12 student ever, but it is simply the truth.

It's not like my entire future depends on these next 3 weeks, but it might influence where I go next year, I suppose. All I can do is try my absolute best. But my spirit is too weak to do that right now.

[Bri MT]

Imo resilience is more valuable than subject content. I know you're not feeling great about them, but I wish you best of luck for your exams

[JR_StudyEd]

24/10/19 - Let's talk about that first exam.

I am in two minds about the English exam at this moment. One side says, 'I am a great writer, you just need some work under time pressure, and getting started on writing essays. The exam environment will give me the adrenaline rush that I require to perform to the best of my ability. And even if I royally mess it up, there are so many options and pathways I can take to get me where I want to be. If I stuff it up, it might lengthen my wait to study something according to my interests. But I will get there in due time.' The other side says, 'I am a great writer. But remember the English trial exam you sat one month ago? The one where you wrote a grand total of nothing for Section A and B, and barely anything for Section C? What if the prompts for Section A and B are extra unfriendly this year? What if nothing comes to me? What if I can't think of anything to write? If I royally screw up the English exam, this may set the tone for the entire exam period, and affect my performance in my other exams. I will get my VCE, no doubt. But the ATAR might give me a shock, and not in a good way. I may not be able to get into any of the courses on my preference list. Where does that leave me? A year trying to find a stable job? It's all uncertain.'

Either way, I believe there's always the light of hope that I will find a discipline in which I can find a sense of fulfilment and the joy of having made someone's life better through the knowledge and skills I have acquired. This exam period, although it's certainly the end of chapter 1, is only the precursor to chapter 2.

[caffinatedloz]

Either way, I believe there's always the light of hope that I will find a discipline in which I can find a sense of fulfilment and the joy of having made someone's life better through the knowledge and skills I have acquired.

Have you been thinking about careers? There are so many different ways that you can better someone's life through your work!

This exam period, although it's certainly the end of chapter 1, is only the precursor to chapter 2.

What a fantastic attitude. Must be all that work you're putting into building a resilient headspace.

[JR_StudyEd]

30/10/19

Well, I guess I'll be the first to update the world on how the English exam went for me. Nah, just kidding. The exam discussion on AN is probably blowing up like crazy at the moment. I'm just the type who doesn't like talking about how I went on exams. Unnecessary and fruitless, if you ask me. What's done is done. There's no retry. The results won't come out for a while.

Well, if you really are so desperate to know...Section C was a piece of cake (but chances are, other people found it easy too, especially the top end of students, I guess). My comparative essay was so weird (like, I wrote pretty big body paragraphs, but I only wrote two), but I think I did alright. I started Section A, then went blank. Wrote an introduction, and not much else.

Not my most favourite subject, but certainly not my least favourite. See you hopefully never again later, English.


Bio exam in 2 days. Onwards and upwards!

I wish everyone the best of luck for the rest of their exams!

[Joseph41]

Good attitude, and congrats for getting through!

[Geoo]

Yay, no more english!!!!!
Nice to be over with, congratulations on getting through it, only a few more exams to go! Good luck and remember to look after yourself.

[Macrophagee]

How did you find the bio exam?

[JR_StudyEd]

12/11/19 - This is the day I have been looking forward to. Not much else needs to be said.

It hasn't quite sunk in yet, but I am soaking up every last bit of liberation. All of my VCE exams are now finished.

P.S. This is an unpopular view, but I avoid talking about exams where possible. As I said, it's fruitless. It doesn't help anyone. It will likely do more harm than good for my headspace, so please respect that. Thanks.