We’ve finally reached the end of this VCE journey journal. It’s been a tough ride, but has never ceased to be an insanely unpredictable, life-changing, wonderful, stressful, sad, happy, and crazy experience.
It’s an odd feeling, knowing that such a huge part of your life has ended. School has made up the bulk of my thoughts and actions for 13 years, and now it will just cease to exist as anything more than a memory. That’s crazy.
I think the most interesting part of reading my journal front to back is seeing how much I’ve changed as a student over this period of time. In year 11, my heart was set on a 98+ ATAR and medicine, now I couldn’t imagine pursuing anything but business, and my goal ATAR was just enough to get in; nothing more, nothing less.
My ATAR and VCE journey came to mean something entirely different to me in recent months. It was no longer something I based my self-worth on, all it meant was I could get into the course I wanted. This was a great mindset, as come the 14th of December, I was not disappointed as long as I met the requirements for my course (which were reasonably easy). My academic worth, in my head, was instead based on how confident I felt with topics, how much I enjoyed subjects, and the little achievements throughout my education thus far. I’ve worked so, so incredibly hard for 13 years. I’ve earned numerous scholarships, I got myself into a selective entry school, I’ve won a number of academic competitions, I’ve studied until insane hours of the morning, I’ve always tried my absolute best, and I refuse to reduce all of this to the numbers I received this morning – they’re just another one of these small successes.
My most difficult hurdle in Year 12 was the 5 hours of travel I did every day. I’ve mentioned it a few times throughout, but it honestly changed everything for me. I woke up at 5am and slept late. I lost over 24 hours a week to dead time, and I never, ever handled it well. I found I worked best when I packed my routine full of sports and extra-curricula activities, which forced me to use my free periods and lunchtimes studying. I wish I could have found a way to get around this, and will definitely need to next year. Hey, at least I'm
almost a morning person now!!
I think my favourite part of Year 12 was ‘finding myself’. I know it sounds so cliché, but I’ve changed so much as a person and I’m so happy about that. Socially, I’ve made my closest, most amazing friends (hello & thank you to the one reading this
) and said goodbye to the toxic people in my life. Physically & mentally, I’ve become stronger and set new, amazing habits that’ll stick with me for life. Academically, I used year 12 to chill out a little before uni, so that I don’t spend first year being burnt out. And just generally as a person, I think I’ve improved haha. The constant stress and looming responsibilities definitely make a huge impact, and I’m so glad I could transform these bad situations into amazing ones.
It’s also interesting watching my school in its flawed entirety show itself when it gets tough. I’ve loved and been proud of it for so, so long and they’ve completely torn that apart over the last few months. There’s little support for anyone who isn’t set to achieve close to 50 (and this is a very, very strong cohort, so it’s not like it would be difficult to, I don’t know, pay attention to the other students?), and so many ridiculous politics in the admin/staff teams that reflect poorly in their teaching and leadership. It’s sad that 4 amazing years turned to ****, but I am glad that it happened near the end.
I hope that my journal has been of some support/entertainment to someone at some point. I’ve changed a lot since August 2017, and I feel that this has been reflected in my writing. I don’t necessarily agree/stand by everything said in the beginning, so read it with a grain of salt. I’m unsure as to whether this will be archived, deleted, or kept here for many years, but I hope someone who is struggling with the hardships of VCE can seek solace in the fact that it will all work out okay. Your ATAR is a prerequisite to get into a uni course, and that is all it ever has to be. It doesn’t define you, and I hope that truly sinks in.
VCE is such a hard bundle of months. It’ll reduce you to tears, but also reveal a new, hopefully better person in the end. It’s long and arduous nights of studying and getting nowhere, but it’s also lively and exciting evenings of 18ths that you are entitled to enjoy. Don’t get caught up in the belief that Year 12 is all work and no play, join a sport or two, get a job, play an instrument, and get involved at school. I don’t regret one second of the fun, even if it changed my grades on occasion.
Thank you so, so much for being a part of this time. This journal and the many people who have read it, replied to it, and messaged me to offer their priceless advice has been an amazing source of support. Thank you, also, to the moderators and admin that always get involved and stay in contact. And finally to the readers, even if this is the first and only post you’ll ever see of mine, thanks for coming haha (and good luck with your future successes!).