^^Thank you JerryMouse for the subject-specific advice! I don't know what the requirements of the task are, so it's very useful to hear from someone else studying Year 11 Legal!
I've left some comments throughout your essay, but overall this is a fantastic report. You have a very clear and logical writing style that enables you to communicate ideas efficiently and effectively. In particular, as JerryMouse said, your paragraph structure is excellent as you introduce concepts, explain them, and then discuss their significance before linking to the next idea. This might sound super obvious to you, but trust me when I say it's a rare skill! (Most people struggle with this well into university, so the fact that you can write this well in Year 11 is extremely impressive!
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Most of these comments are just small sentence structure/phrasing things, and there are a few places where I've recommended adding a bit more detail, but if you're already at the word count, don't worry about it, as I can't see anything glaring that you've missed. This is a really well-written and well-argued analysis that was interesting to read. Hope you're enjoying Legal Studies as it certainly seems like a strong subject for you!