TERM 3 WEEK 3 - [ TUESDAY ] - 91 DAYS LEFT TIL EXAMS
THE WEEKENDS
It’s a shame that I couldn’t do homework on the weekend. I worked after school on Friday and straight away, the morning after. By the time I was finished with both of my shifts, I was mentally and physically exhausted. I needed a rest so I slept for 10 hours straight that night. I hate working on Saturdays, it’s always so busy, my brain could never rest. I still wonder if working is worth it, if my studies would’ve been better. Plus, they generally give me a 5 hour shift on a Saturday, so I can’t get a break, (if you work up to 5 hours, you don’t get a break, but if you work more, you get 1 break or 2 if you work 8 hours) which is why I dislike them, hmph.
On Sunday, though, I woke up feeling energetic, like I was rebooted and have forgotten about the last two days. It was a reward, but at the same time, it wasn’t. I was blessed with a deep, beauty sleep, but at the same time I had to be back to school the next day and to top it off, a mountain of homework waiting for me. So basically, I had no weekends. I was able to finish English homework, which wrecked my brain because I didn’t want to do it and I also finished Physics, which, because of my procrastination, took me longer than I thought.
MONDAY
Today was the first time I expressed my interest in the science/medicine field to my friends. A part of me wanted to be a part of that field, but not a doctor. I wasn’t taken seriously though, they thought I was joking because I suck at physics, but I’m considering it. Am I being naive? Maybe? But on the other hand, I’m only 17, the time to explore is now.
Struggled with my English homework because I didn't want to do it. Went into class and found out I was the only one that did it... I wasn't sure I was proud of it or not, I just knew that there are other people who must've despised English more than me.
I didn’t do my maths homework for tutor and I felt bad. I’m pretty sure I’m one of the very few students that does tutor homework so whenever I tell him that I didn’t do them, he looks quite disappointed. So the point is, I try to do my tutor homework as much as I could, just so he could be happy and to give myself extra practice. I enjoy doing them, although sometimes there are some questions that gives me pain. Remember how I said I couldn’t do homework on the weekends? Yeah, I am now behind on classwork in methods, fun. At the end of the day, I managed to do one paper out of 3 for my tutor and he seemed pleased enough. We went through the questions that I was stuck with and throughout the entire session, I came to the conclusion that this guy is going to be my best best best best friend before the exam period.
Downside of tutoring is that I get home pretty late, I missed my bus stop and had to wait extra 15 minutes for the bus to make it to the last stop and go back. By the time I got home, I was exhausted, only did some questions for spesh tutor homework and made it to bed by 11 or 12. I had taken the advice of sleeping early, it’s better like this anyways.
TUESDAY Very rarely do I actually get up on time, feeling that packet of confidence in my body and ACTUALLY make it to the bus. Today was one of those day where I didn’t have to run with a piece of bread, candy, nectarine or mandarin in my mouth to the bus. I walked at a leisure pace, made it to the bus a tad early, found a seat and sat down on the bus. Mmmmmm. Then I had to sit on that damn bus for nearly 40 minutes because the traffic was crazy. I ended up arriving late to school despite my effort to wake up early to catch the ‘perfect-timed’ bus, what the hell.
Again with I.T today, teacher said he had gotten all the marks so he advised that everyone come see him individually to get their marks and hopefully, feedback for future improvements. He didn’t look too happy whenever he glanced at me, in fact, I have come to a realisation that he only display his cheery expression when he talks to the high-achievers or the people who had made an improvement in their work. I didn’t want to be sad so I never went to see him to get my marks, it’ll come to me eventually anyways, what’s the rush with finding out that I didn’t get a perfect mark. I feel pressured to do good by my peers and teacher, they’re expecting so much from me when I repeatedly told them I haven’t put enough effort in this subject for the past 6 months. Already exhausted whenever someone mentions I.T.
Did I ever talked about spesh homework? My brain was wrecked by spesh today. I am ahead in spesh, but because I am ahead, I found that no one was available to help me. Why is my class moving so slow? I desperately needed help. I tried to finish my final specialist questions and I couldn’t do it. I couldn't unpack the question, my working out didn’t make sense. I don’t get it, 2 chapters of pretty much the same thing and I couldn’t answer this one question. Am I really set up to be successful in spesh? My tutor expected them to be done and I wanted to fulfill his expectations. He’s like a parent figure, eh, maybe a brother that I never had that checks on my homework, my wellbeing and how I’m going in VCE once a week. He basically took on the role of my family. I felt that without his guidance, I wouldn’t be so intrigued and obsessed over school work, but instead be spending time crying over physics. In my family, I was like a bird without its cage, I could go anywhere, do anything as long as I was working during the weekends. Never have they asked me ‘How are your studies?’, ‘Have you done your homework?’, ‘Are you okay?’ since VCE started. I always assume they trust me to do the right thing though, so I guess that’s a good thing.
Anyways, I got really stressed because I couldn’t do a spesh question and couldn’t finish my tutor homework. I had spesh/physics tutor later that day and explained to him my situation and that I ‘technically’ finished the assigned homework, I was just stuck with no clues. To my surprise, he looked delighted because FOR ONCE, I actually completed the homework he gave me. We went over the question/s I was stuck with and for some reason my method didn’t work, his did so I just had to use a different approach. All I could think of though was that if this was on the exam, I would’ve left the exam room thinking I aced it. Haha. At the end of the day, it was a great tutoring lesson. I did my homework, he helped me with questions, both parties were happy. On the other hand, he gave me homework. Like. Lots.
Jk, it’s an alright amount of homework, I complain a lot whenever my tutors give me homework, but I’ll actually never tell them that I like getting homework, that I ‘enjoy’ doing them.
*Omg it's so long, I'm so sorry D: I tried to make it as short as possible but it still came out long. I'm also very sleepy, so excuse my grammar and spelling mistakes. Also, I didn't do my English homework so rip rip me.*