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aqple

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Re: English Language essay submission and marking
« Reply #180 on: October 29, 2014, 11:02:45 pm »
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Hi everyone, it's a bit late to be new here but if anyone could be kind enough to look over my commentary (and give it some kind of grade), that'd be wonderful!
Edited after writing it under timed conditions. Text attached (it's from Engage, has occasionally painful spelling)

Thanks  :)

---

Text 3 is a transcript of a conversation between American teenage producer Porter Robinson and Melburnian television presenter Marty. It is a highly informal interview that primarily serves a referential function to inform Australian teenage music fans about Porter’s career and inspiration. Its secondary purpose is to promote Porter as a musician and enhance his image. Porter is the dominant speaker in the conversation as he is the interviewee. You should talk more about the context, such as the fact that it's for Channel V and the audience it targets, otherwise, good intro  :)

The prosodic features within the text are typical of a spontaneous television interview. Porter’s speech is replete with non-fluency features, including pause fillers like “umm” (16, 51), false starts, “it was- I’ve never” (50), and repetition, “It’s-it’s” (58). These features indicate the unscripted nature of Porter’s speech and allow him the opportunity to construct his thoughts and self-correct. Nonetheless, his speech has some elements of a scripted response, likely a result of his desire to promote himself as professional musician by delivering confident and fluent pre-prepared responses. This is illustrated in his articulation of his gratefulness towards his fans in “I’ve never been...tastes” (50-53), which lacks the frequency of non-fluency  features Fluency of non-fluency features? Reword this present in the rest of his speech. Marty’s speech displays features of preparation as well, in alignment with his role as a television presenter expected to open, close, and direct the conversation. His formulaic closing “This has...Channel V/” (105) includes reduced pace when articulating “<L Porter Robinson L>”, in keeping with the convention of dramatic emphasis on the interviewee’s name during the closing sequence of radio or television interviews. Why exactly does he do this? Marty also employs numerous utterance-final rising intonations to indicate interrogatives, “Did you...video?” (23-24), as well as High Rising Terminals, as in “...Channel V/” (105), in order to invite Porter to take the floor and respond, Promotes cooperation and friendliness fulfilling his role as the host. You could develop more on why these prosodic features appear, e.g. you could describe how non-fluency features support the informality and thereby appeal to the audience?

The conversational strategies employed in the text are indicative of the roles and relationship in the conversation. As the subject of the interview, Porter is the dominant speaker, and Marty supports this allocation of roles by employing backchannelling minimal responses, such as “[yeah]” (27, 35) and [yep]” (42). This encourages Porter to speak more continue speaking by enhancing his positive face needs as he is being attentively listened to by Marty Try and link this to the social purpose e.g. increases efficiency of the interview, ensures cooperation, etc. .The interviewer-interviewee relationship is also supported by the high consideration considerable? conversational style maintained through the text. There are no interruptive or competitive overlaps as Marty waits for Porter to indicate he has ended his response with final intonations such as “...I really liked it.” (43) and “...thrilled by it.” (65). Marty then takes and returns the floor by initiating question-answer adjacency pairs, as in “did you...reception/” (44-49), allowing Porter to continue speaking by completing them. Again, encouraging cooperation between the interlocutors Adjacency pairs allow Marty to steer the conversation too by introducing topic changes in his initiating utterance, such as “Is there...moment?” (67-69), both supporting his role as a host and the referential function of the discourse by providing viewers with more information about Porter.

The social purposes of the text are served by the stylistic features and register of the interview as well. Syntactically, the use of declaratives,Don't think this is a stylistic feature? like Word choice e.g. such as“I did one last March” (15) and “I didn’t expect...it” (65), allows for efficient delivery of information to the audience about Porter’s opinions. The active voice, as in “...my age...gave me...advantages” (70-71) is used consistently to make Porter’s speech more direct and accessible to the viewers, supporting the informative purpose of the text as well.And allowing him to appear more friendly and inclusive Porter employs the informal discourse particle “like” throughout the text, both as a hedging device, “I did like a small...tour” (12), and as an indicator of reported speech “I...was like” (103). Not only does it maintain the informal register, it also indexes his identity as a teenager, as it is a lexeme used most typically by teenagers in everyday discourse. Good job on picking this up! This serves the secondary function of the text to enhance his image with the teenage audience by emphasising the shared social identity between him and them, making him seem more relatable. Reinforcing this notion is his use of the inclusive third-person personal pronoun “we” (77) to encompass himself within the same group as “high school kids” (76), his intended audience and fanbase. Alongside his reference to popular social networking website "Instagram" (38), This would be a great opportunity to discuss inference Porter’s lexicology increases his social currency with prospective fans. It allows him to promote solidarity By enhancing his image as such, he can ultimately enlarge his fanbase and thus increase his popularity and income as well.

Well written analysis under timed conditions  :) Given that this is an interview being presented to an audience on television, it would have been wise to discuss the purpose in terms of how it engages the audience and stuff. You definitely could have discussed lexical features due to the nature of such text, but it isn't expected that you cover everything so good job overall! Mark: 12/15 maybe?
« Last Edit: October 30, 2014, 12:11:41 am by aqple »
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aqple

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Re: Eng Lang Essay: "Standard English is an oxymoron". Feedback Please!
« Reply #181 on: October 30, 2014, 12:09:43 am »
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Here is a weak attempt at a section C essay, haha.  Any feedback and ideas for improvement is welcome. Cheers

Language can both establish a sense of solidarity and belonging as well as reinforce social distance and authority. How is this true in the current Australian context?

Language can serve a myriad of indirect functions which are important in our current Australian context. Our identity Be careful, this is not an essay about identity entirely as individuals, groups and as a nation is publicly expressed by our language choices. In doing so, it also creates a sense of solidarity and belonging while also forming a sense of alienation and power to certain groups. This is vague, you are pretty much rewording the essay question. Try to explain This is evidently seen by members of authority who manipulate their language to reinforce social distance Mention who they are establishing social distance with, such as in political speak Instead of tagging this at the end, you should incorporate it into the sentence, also, you might like to mention that political speak is a 'linguistic tool' used by whoever. Furthermore Not really 'furthermore', because you are introduction a new idea, so try 'conversely' or 'on the other hand', Australian English Don't just refer to it as Aust Eng because political speak is also Aust Eng! allows our country to portray a distinct national identity, creating a national sense of belong. In a similar manner, minority groups, such as ethnic and social groups, can use language to create a unique identity which in turn, reinforces solidarity. Intro is a bit unclear and vague, but works nonetheless!

To express their group identity, many social and ethnic groups make deliberate language choices to differentiate themselves from society. By doing so, it allows them to earn covert prestige within the ‘in-group’, resulting in the reinforcement of group solidarity. Users of teenspeak clearly illustrate this notion through their deliberate language choice. This is evident by their use of the elongated vowel sound in the adverb “so” for further emphasis as well as their frequent use of colloquial slang such as “soz” (sorry) A shortening, “shweet” (intensifier for “sweet”) This is also an example of a phonological feature,“cool” and a diminutive “selfie”. These language choices also demonstrate the value of being informal and easy going among teenagers which thus create intimacy between the users and thusly Do you mean 'thus'?, a sense of belonging A shared identity. Another social group that demonstrate the phenomena of the relationship between language and group identity Ohhh be careful not to turn this into an identity essay, stay on track to how language promotes solidarity & belonging is the online community known as speed cubers Use quotations around this or capital letters. These ‘cubers’, utilised jargon that is related to twisting puzzles such as the initialisms “OLL” (orientation of last layer) and “PLL” (Permutation of last layer), to show that they have similar knowledge in this unusual field of solving Rubik’s cube which create a strong connection between each of the members, again, demonstrating how language can develop rapport between individuals Connect this to the essay question. Ethnic groups also acquire the use of non-standard language to allow them to integrate into contemporary society while maintaining their ethnical identity Again, avoid sounding like an identity essay. In doing so, they create a new dialect that combines elements of both their native and new language which are referred to as ethnolects.  This is observed by the linguistic innovations of the ethnolect; Greek Australian English which contains a distinct lack of prepositions as evident by the phrase “come my house” (come to my house) as well as the use of epenthesis in their utterance such as the addition of the inflectional plural suffix ‘-s’ to form the non-standard, second person plural pronoun, ‘youse’. These non-standard language choice acts as a distinguishing marker of their social identity while displaying their unique culture and heritage which in turn, earn the user cover prestige among that speech community. All of these conscious, language choices made reiterate the value of language in earning fellowship among minority group. I feel you need more explicit explanations of HOW and WHY such linguistic choices promote solidarity and belonging, you do this at the beginning of the para but then you start going off track.

Australian English has constantly been evolving to “meet the social and psychological needs of [its] users” (Crystal) and in doing so, reflect our contemporary national identity I don't see the connection between this quote and how it reflects national identity ???. This unique dialect Australian English is not a dialect, as it covers all the dialects, so don't make these assumptions. Instead, just say how Australian English CAN be utilised in a way that appeals to the community and therefore establishes unity or something of English plays a quintessential role in uniting members of our society together in both troubled and peaceful times. Former Prime Minister, Julia Gillard, utilised Wrong word, instead use 'demonstrate' or 'exemplifies' the ability language has to bond our nation together by specifically incorporated incoporating a broad accent Did she really use a broad accent? Her accent is general, although featuring aspects of broad in her press conference that followed the tragic floods in question Be more specific about this event, floods where? and when? . Having this more stereotypical, Australian accent, it allows her to create a sense of unity for all Australians who were in distress and thus illustrate the power of Australian English in our society Okay, Gillard doesn't purposely use a broad accent for the sake of uniting members of the community. In fact, this would be more exclusive, because the majority of Australians do not have a broad accent, also, it would be inappropriate for a politician to adopt a broad accent  :o Her accent is general so be careful. Instead, you could extract an example from the speech, such as her use of the pronouns 'we' to promote solidarity. This is again evident by Australian’s frequent use of the high rising terminal in our speech as well as our use of diminutives such as ‘g’ (Melbourne Cricket Grounds), “shep” (Shepparton), “brissy” (Brisbane), “uni” (university) and “bloody”. These unique features are “important indicator of ‘Australianness’ and of cultural values” (Burridge) such as friendliness, informality, laid-backness and mateship which shows the importance of language in our nation Don't just list, explain how these examples promote solidarity. In doing so, it illustrates how users can earn overt prestige Nah, it's not overt prestige actually, go back to your notes so you don't incorrectly use this term  :Pin our society, allowing them to reaffirm their identity of being Australian and thus, develop a sense of belonging within our nation.

Even though language plays a key component in establishing identity as individuals and groups, it can also be manipulated so that it can be used to earn power in our society while alienating others. Both political language and political correct language Political correct language actually attempts to be inclusive, doesn't it? provides evidence to this as they obfuscated Ensure that tenses remain consistent and users can put their own individual desires Be more specific in their language. The asylum seeker issue in our society has brought to light many examples that illustrate this. Titles such as “illegals” and “queue jumpers” which are frequently used by the press, has demonised these people and thus, separating them from the rest of our society. Furthermore, the politically correct noun, “homosexual”, has alienated that sexual orientation group from society by making their sexuality appear as a disorder, when compare to the more vernacular noun phrase, “gay people” Hmm this assumption is not necessarily accurate, I mean, you could validate this claim with media examples perhaps?. In doing so, it has resulted in the promotion of social distance between them and the rest of society and has thus, illustrate the subtle power language has in our society. It would have been more appropriate to discuss doublespeak and jargon in this para. E.g. Tony Abbott referring to taxes as a 'levy', or the involvement in Iraq as a 'humanitarian mission' - this reinforces authority by using language that influences the public to believe that something negative is more positive. Also, the use of jargon would reinforce social distance because the wide majority of people would not understand, hindering effective communication.

Language use is a two edged-sword Use quotations around idioms when it comes to building relationship between different members in our society. On one hand, it can be used by minority groups to create a group identity that allows the members the privilege of earning an illusion of solidarity and belonging. This notion is again emphasis by how Australian English can empower our nation in creating proud, national identity that allows it user to connect through its unique features. On the other hand, language can also alienate individuals and groups while establish a hierarchy in relationship in our society. All of these subtle, yet important functions of language demonstrates the power it has.

You're on the right track  :) Try to find some concrete examples rather than 'textbook' ones. Stay focused on the topic because at times you discuss stuff that makes your essay seem like one about identity. Always refer back to the essay question, this is very important, but you generally do a good job at this. You can definitely improve by being more specific, by elaborating more on your ideas and claims. Hope this helps!
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apreslapluie

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Re: English Language essay submission and marking
« Reply #182 on: October 30, 2014, 12:22:59 am »
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Well written analysis under timed conditions  :) Given that this is an interview being presented to an audience on television, it would have been wise to discuss the purpose in terms of how it engages the audience and stuff. You definitely could have discussed lexical features due to the nature of such text, but it isn't expected that you cover everything so good job overall! Mark: 12/15 maybe?

ahh thank you so much, that really helps :D
yeah I'm struggling to include everything I want to talk about under timed conditions... how do you do it?

aqple

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Re: English Language essay submission and marking
« Reply #183 on: October 30, 2014, 09:55:25 pm »
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ahh thank you so much, that really helps :D
yeah I'm struggling to include everything I want to talk about under timed conditions... how do you do it?

It is a struggle trying to write a comprehensive analysis under timed conditions! I'm still working on it. Just keep writing as many analyses for as many different texts as possible, or if you don't have time, simply annotate different texts from past exams (legal documents, conversations, blogs, speeches) and think about what you would write about. This practice will allow you to develop the skill to quickly identify what to write about, so you're well prepared and you make good use of your time in the exam.  Good luck  :)
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apreslapluie

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Re: English Language essay submission and marking
« Reply #184 on: October 31, 2014, 12:38:51 am »
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It is a struggle trying to write a comprehensive analysis under timed conditions! I'm still working on it. Just keep writing as many analyses for as many different texts as possible, or if you don't have time, simply annotate different texts from past exams (legal documents, conversations, blogs, speeches) and think about what you would write about. This practice will allow you to develop the skill to quickly identify what to write about, so you're well prepared and you make good use of your time in the exam.  Good luck  :)

definitely sounds like a plan :D thanks heaps for the tips, especially on the eve of bio! hope English and bio both went well for you, good luck to you too  :)

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Re: English Language essay submission and marking
« Reply #185 on: November 09, 2014, 03:01:53 pm »
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Could i please get some feedback on this it would be much appreciated like what could i do to receive higher marks  :) It was question 8 from VCAA 2012


Language and Identity are inextricably linked.How is this reflected in the current Australian Context?Refer to at least two subsystems of language in your response.

Language and identity are both have a distinct connection to each other which is relevant in Australian society.They both alter one another which makes them inextricably linked.In Australia identity can be identified by the language used in various regions and in various contexts.Aboriginal English is a common Australian Ethnolect which is known by its distinct language and identity.There is slang as well as jargon used in Australian culture which defines it as a nation by constructing a specific identity, supporting the interrelationship between language and identity.

Various regions and communities in Australia have a unique identity due to the way they use there English vernacular.In different regions there is a varying terms for the same meaning such as in Victoria a medium sized beer is known as a ‘pot’ and in New south wales it is known as a ‘middie’.This reflects the link between using language and being reflected in a certain way, such as using a term for a beer and being recognized from a certain region in Australia.They way phonemes are used in Australian society also can determine a identity for  there user.The phoneme /i/ is a ‘important indicator of Australianness’ (Burridge 2012) commonly used in informal Australian contexts.It is used commonly used in nicknames such as ‘bob/i/’ and ‘jake/i/’ which when someone uses them or are called this it generally defines them as being in the worker generation of Australian individuals.Communities who don’t use this generalized term use australian phonemes such as this and tend to use the standard and are ‘almost considered un Australian in doing so’ (Crawford 2004).Different regions and cultures in Australia have the ability to be identified according to the language they use due to the inextricable link.

Aboriginal English identity is commonly constructed through there distinct use of the English language.Aboriginal English holds covert prestige in Australian society and has a distinct identity which is held separate to other Australian English users.The quit campaign is a recent advertisement which was specifically directed at aboriginal smokers.They used common aboriginal lexemes such ‘aye’ which was used in the utterance ‘smoking no good aye’ (Aus government 2014).Uses of the common aboriginal term as well as sighs of aboriginal English distinct morphological uses such as creative word formation is used ‘to stick members of a group together’ (Burridge 2012).These language uses in turn may add negative connotations ot the individual due to the aboriginal culture are seen to have a identity which is high in chain smokers and have a lower socio economic status.The language used by the aboriginal people gives them a distinct identity due to the impossible to disentangle link between the two.

Australian slang as well as Jargon holds overt prestige in Australian society, constructing identity for the Australian people.Australian language users are distinct users of slang as well as using localised jargon such as ‘snot block’ for a lemon slice.Australians can be patriotic about there slang and use it to ‘stick members of s group together’(Burridge 2012) and ‘erect barriers between them and the outside’(Burridge 2012).It is unique in way that it can separate users as being of a Australian identity.Collqiulisms are frequent in Australia such as uses ‘bloody hell’(ABC Grandstand 2014) appearing on the radio frequently as well as on the television were Eddie McGuire used ‘old cunt’(McGuire 2014).These uses would identify the language user as being Australian due to the inextricable link between the two and in some instances create rapport.

Language and identity are intertwined and have the ability to alter one another in the Australian community.The language variation from regions in Australia is shown to have varying identity with there different uses of the Australian vernacular.Aborinal english is a non standard English variety in which the language use sculpts there identity as a whole.Australian users use slang and jargon in a distinct way which pictures them as being of a Australian ethnolect due to the inextricable link between language and identity.

Reus

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Re: English Language essay submission and marking
« Reply #186 on: November 09, 2014, 03:39:41 pm »
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Could i please get some feedback on this it would be much appreciated like what could i do to receive higher marks  :) It was question 8 from VCAA 2012


Language and Identity are inextricably linked.How is this reflected in the current Australian Context?Refer to at least two subsystems of language in your response.

Language and identity are both have a distinct connection to each other which is relevant in Australian society. They both alter one another which makes them inextricably linked. In Australia identity can be identified by the language used in various regions and in various contexts. Aboriginal English is a common Australian Ethnolect which is known by its distinct language and identity. There is slang as well as jargon used in Australian culture which defines it as a nation by constructing a specific identity, supporting the interrelationship between language and identity. I feel like you should add a sentence to tighten the structure and your contention. Maybe something little like this "The identity particular Australians uphold is reflective in their language choices."

Various regions and communities in Australia have a unique identity due to the way they use their English vernacular I would say that variation is contextual where historic factors also contribute to the unique vernacular certain communities possess. . In different regions there is a are varying terms for the same meaning such asfor example in Victoria a medium sized beer is known as a ‘pot’ and in New south wales it is known as a ‘middie’. This reflects the link between using language and being reflected in a certain way, such as using a term for a beer and being recognized from a certain region in Australia. They way phonemes are used in Australian society also can determine a identity for there user. The phoneme /i/ is an ‘important indicator of Australianness’ (Burridge 2012) commonly used in informal Australian contexts. It is used commonly used in nicknames such as ‘bob/i/’ and ‘jake/i/’ which when someone uses them or are called this it generally defines them as being in the worker generation of Australian individuals. Communities who don’t use this generalized term use australian phonemes such as this and tend to use the standard and are ‘almost considered un Australian in doing so’ (Crawford 2004). Different regions and cultures in Australia have the ability to be identified according to the language they use due to the inextricable link. might want to add that the /i/ phoneme is a feature of diminutives, a distinct feature in non-standard Australian English :)

Aboriginal English identity is commonly constructed through their distinct use of the English language. Aboriginal English holds covert prestige in Australian society and has a distinct identity which is held separate to other Australian English users. The quit campaign is a recent advertisement which was specifically directed at aboriginal smokers. They used common aboriginal lexemes such ‘aye’ which was used in the utterance ‘smoking no good aye’ (Aus government 2014).Uses of the common aboriginal term as well as sighs of aboriginal English distinct morphological uses such as creative word formation is used ‘to stick members of a group together’ (Burridge 2012).These language uses in turn may add negative connotations ot the individual due to the aboriginal culture are seen to have a identity which is high in chain smokers and have a lower socio economic status.The language used by the aboriginal people gives them a distinct identity due to the impossible to disentangle link between the two. amazing example haha. To lengthen the paragraph - dependent on how you're going with time, you might want to add that the possession marked juxtaposition of "that my daddy car" or the irregular single plural marker "2 man in a jeep" are indicative of Aboriginal identity.

Australian slang as well as Jargonwhy the capital J? holds overt prestige in Australian society, constructing identity for the Australian people. Australian language users are distinct users of slang as well as using localised jargon such as ‘snot block’ for a lemon slice. Australians can be patriotic about their slang and use it to ‘stick members of s group together’(Burridge 2012) and ‘erect barriers between them and the outside’(Burridge 2012) you just mentioned that it was overtly employed so maybe stick away from the "erecting barriers" and dichotomy type of thing. It is unique in way that it can separate users as being of a Australian identity. Colloquialisms are frequent in Australia such as uses ‘bloody hell’(ABC Grandstand 2014) appearing on the radio frequently as well as on the television were Eddie McGuire used ‘old cunt’(McGuire 2014).explain these examples more. what do they say about Australian identity?These uses would identify the language user as being Australian due to the inextricable link between the two and in some instances create rapport.

Language and identity are intertwined and have the ability to alter one another in the Australian community. The language variation from regions in Australia is shown to have varying identities with their different uses of the Australian vernacular. Aboriginal english is a non standard English variety in which the language use sculpts their identity as a whole you should withdraw from using pronouns in an essay that much. Try ".. establishing an identity for the Aboriginal population . Australian users what do you mean by Australian users? use slang and jargon in a distinct way which pictures them as being of a Australian ethnolect Australian English is not an ethnolect due to the inextricable link between language and identity.

Corrections in red, had a go. :)
Loved the examples you used
Great quotes - shows depth of reading
A few errors with spelling, the wrong 'theirs' and what not
All in all great, you answered the question correctly and provided contemporary examples. However you didn't explain the examples as much as you should have. Was this timed/done in exam conditions?
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aqple

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Re: English Language essay submission and marking
« Reply #187 on: November 09, 2014, 04:32:56 pm »
+2
Could i please get some feedback on this it would be much appreciated like what could i do to receive higher marks  :) It was question 8 from VCAA 2012


Language and Identity are inextricably linked.How is this reflected in the current Australian Context?Refer to at least two subsystems of language in your response.

Language and identity are both have a distinct connection to with?  each other which is relevant in Australian society.They both alter one another which makes them inextricably linked.In Australian identity can be identified by the language used in various regions and in various contexts. This is extremely vague, be more specific! Aboriginal English is a common Australian Ethnolect Aboriginal English isn't necessarily an ethnolect, it's more an umbrella term which covers the different varieties of English that Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people speak which is known by its distinct language and identity Again, too vague, try to elaborate a bit more .There is slang as well as jargon used in Australian culture which defines it as a nation by constructing a specific identity, supporting the interrelationship between language and identity. Slang and jargon are used by specific groups to establish their personal identity or the identity they wish to promote, or the group they wish to associate with - don't make broad statements that it defines the nation.

Various regions and communities in Australia have a unique identity due to the way they use there their English vernacular. In different regions there is a varying terms for the same meaning such as in Victoria a medium sized beer is known as a ‘pot’ and in New south wales it is known as a ‘middie’.This reflects the link between using language and being reflected in a certain way, such as using a term for a beer and being recognized from a certain region in Australia. Honestly, I would avoid talking about regionalisms because nowadays, we all pretty much speak the same, so it's not a very good argument to use when trying to find a link between language and identity. The way phonemes are used in Australian society also can determine a identity for  theretheir user. Definitely avoid this argument, such subtle differences in pronunciation don't really display the inextricable link of language and identity. The phoneme /i/ is a ‘important indicator of Australianness’ (Burridge 2012) commonly used in informal Australian contexts. You're going off track here, don't forget language and identity is your focus. It is used commonly used in nicknames such as ‘bob/i/’ and ‘jake/i/’ which when someone uses them or are called this it generally defines them as being in the worker generation of Australian individuals You mean diminutives? This is not a phonological feature, it's morphological .Communities who don’t use this generalized term use australian phonemes Not a phoneme such as this and tend to use the standard and are ‘almost considered un Australian in doing so’ (Crawford 2004). Why exactly is this feature Australian? Explain Different regions and cultures You don't talk about culture though in Australia have the ability to be identified according to the language they use due to the inextricable link. You should remove the regionalism argument as you are actually focusing on national identity in this para.

Aboriginal English identity is commonly constructed through there the distinct use of the English language Improve this e.g. Aboriginal English is a variety of English utilised by people to express their indigenous roots, providing for a tool to display their unique identity.Aboriginal English holds covert prestige in Australian society and has a distinct identity which is held separate to other Australian English users.The quit campaign is a recent advertisement which was specifically directed at aboriginal smokers.They used common aboriginal lexemes such ‘aye’ which was used in the utterance ‘smoking no good aye’ (Aus government 2014). Great example Uses of the common aboriginal term as well as sighs of aboriginal English distinct morphological uses such as creative word formation is used ‘to stick members of a group together’ (Burridge 2012). Read this sentence again, doesn't make sense These language uses in turn may add negative connotations ot the individual due to the aboriginal culture are seen to have a identity which is high in chain smokers and have a lower socio economic status. But why would Indigenous people want to promote this identity? And also, be careful, I know if I had indigenous roots, I would be offended by this The language used by the aboriginal people gives them a distinct identity due to the impossible to disentangle link between the two.

Australian slang as well as Jargon holds overt prestige in Australian society Slang and jargon do not hold overt prestige!!! be careful , constructing identity for the Australian people Be more specific, e.g. slang and jargon can be utilised to express the group in which one belongs to, demonstrating an aspect of their social identity, etc. .Australian language users are distinct users of slang as well as using localised jargon such as ‘snot block’ for a lemon slice. How does this demonstrate identity? Need to answer the essay question Australians can be patriotic about there their not there  :P slang and use it to ‘stick members of s group together’(Burridge 2012) and ‘erect barriers between them and the outside’(Burridge 2012). Good use of quotes but you need to elaborate on them to properly answer the essay question, perhaps use an example of the slang from a specific group It is unique in way that it can separate users as being of a Australian identity. Too broad, slang demonstrates specific social characteristics such as gender, age, ethnicity and not simply an Australian identity Collqiulisms are frequent in Australia such as uses ‘bloody hell’ which is a dysphemism (ABC Grandstand 2014) appearing on the radio frequently as well as on the television were Eddie McGuire used ‘old cunt’(McGuire 2014) What does the use of swearing and profanity demonstrate about our identity? .These uses would identify the language user as being Australian due to the inextricable link between the two and in some instances create rapport. It would be wise to talk about uniquely Australian colloquial/idiomatic expressions such as 'no worries', 'shithouse', 'were you born in a tent?' that demonstrate the national Australian character.

Language and identity are intertwined and have the ability to alter one another in the Australian community.The language variation from regions in Australia is shown to have varying identity with there different uses of the Australian vernacular.Aborinal english is a non standard English variety in which the language use sculpts there identity as a whole.Australian users use slang and jargon in a distinct way which pictures them as being of a Australian ethnolect Used out of context, not an ethnolect due to the inextricable link between language and identity.

Think about the essay question as you write your essay. For example, you're lacking insight and direction - how exactly does certain linguistic features demonstrate identity, and what part of one's identity? Quotes and examples are there to complement your essay, not make up your essay, so you need to use them to your advantage and explain HOW such examples/quotes demonstrate that language and identity are inextricably linked. I reckon working on this would be the best way to improve from now until the exam. Hope this helps a bit  :)
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Re: English Language essay submission and marking
« Reply #188 on: November 09, 2014, 09:02:57 pm »
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Thanks Guys for the feedback!! Much appreciated  :) :) I will take it all on board for my exam next week!

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Re: English Language essay submission and marking
« Reply #189 on: November 11, 2014, 09:38:39 pm »
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Hi everyone,

I know this is very late, 2 days out from the exam, but if I could get any feedback on this essay that would be great! :) Many thanks in advance!

‘Standard Australian English is no longer a relevant or important variety of language in Australia today.’

In contemporary Australian society, Standard Australian English is still a relevant variety of language, even though the common use of non-standard English has surpassed it in importance. Firstly, the exponential growth of globalization and the use of English in the ‘global village’ has resulted in a plethora of non-standard hybrid Australian English varieties. In addition to this, modern advancement in technology and global communication, as well as a shift in national identity has resulted in deviations from Standard Australian English. However, the practical necessity for a Standard Australian English in the context of international relations ensures that it will remain a relevant variety of English in Australia for the foreseeable future.

While Standard Australian English itself is not changing, non-standard varieties of Australian English have become popular through common use and are directly influenced by phenomena such as globalization and Americanisation, especially in terms of lexis and discourse. Non-standard Australian English is becoming an important variety in a tug-of-war fashion: first of all, it is attempting to become a more neutral variety that ‘breaks off the shackles’ of Australia’s colonial past, whilst also maintaining a unique national identity in a global context. For example, non-standard Australian English has experienced lexical borrowing and Americanisation, with classic Australian slang such as ‘mate’, ‘grouse’ and ‘sheila’ neutralised by the addition of their American counterparts ‘dude’, ‘cool’ and ‘babe’ to this non-standard variety. This movement towards a more globally accepted variety of English has resulted in a variety of English that is suited to Australia’s modern multicultural society. Conversely, the maintenance of the Australian identity and its colourful connotations has been noticed by international social commentators. Ian Rose, a British freelance writer, describes ‘breezy’ discourse closings such as ‘no dramas’, ‘too easy’ and ‘good on ya’ as terms that uniquely convey the ‘casual optimism’ that is intrinsically associated with the Australian persona. Most of all, it is the ‘athletic vigour’ that Australian expressions have that maintains our identity and thus highlights the importance such as non-standard varieties of Australian English.

The indubitable increased importance of other non-standard varieties of SAE such as Teenspeak and CMC (computer mediated communication) has rendered SAE a static construct that is unable to keep up with the amorphous linguistic boundaries within generational realms. On a broader scale, the use of technological language encompasses all generations, but teenagers, as the linguistic vanguards of linguistic principles have dominated a modern shift in social paradigms. For example, the morphological creation of rebuses ‘4eva’, remodeling ‘f#!k’ and compounding ‘yoloswag’ on social media platforms such as Facebook display the classical recalcitrance of the teenage generation towards standard linguistic norms. Whilst a secondary purpose of technological teenspeak is to demarcate social groups on a small scale, a primary, more important purpose relates to the recent shift from a national Australian paradigm, to a generational paradigm. The application of neologisms such as ‘faffing’ (playing around) and ‘munt’ (to vomit) is further evidence to explain the fact that there is more generational slang than national slang as part of non-standard English varieties, forming a new ‘us-and-them’ dichotomy between generations. The strong reflection of modern societal values is embedded in the use of non-standard English and its ostensible preference as the more important variety.

Although SAE is putatively less important than non-standard varieties in most societal contexts, it is an undeniable truth that SAE remains as a salient variety of Australian English. This is seen in its necessity for communications in realms relating to international aviation and global affairs. In particular, a miscommunication over the semantics of the initialism ‘OK’ in aviation discourse at Tenerife Airport in the Canary Islands in 1972 led to a major mid-air collision that claimed 573 lives. The principle behind the necessity of Standard English is even more applicable today. With more international air travel than ever before, the importance of an international understood medium of communication is well documented within the aviation industry, and it follows that the Australian variety of Standard English should also be maintained. It is for the sake of clarity that SAE should be well maintained, controlled and most importantly, relevant on ever changing linguistic landscape.

To this end, it is clear that whilst SAE may no longer be the most important variety of Australian English today, it will always be a saliently relevant variety for Australia’s multicultural society.
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Re: English Language essay submission and marking
« Reply #190 on: November 12, 2014, 11:51:53 am »
+1
Hi everyone,

I know this is very late, 2 days out from the exam, but if I could get any feedback on this essay that would be great! :) Many thanks in advance!

‘Standard Australian English is no longer a relevant or important variety of language in Australia today.’

In contemporary Australian society, Standard Australian English is still a relevant variety of language, even though the common use of non-standard English has surpassed it in importance. Firstly, the exponential growth of globalization and the use of English in the ‘global village’ has resulted in a plethora of non-standard hybrid Australian English varieties. In addition to this, modern advancement in technology and global communication, as well as a shift in national identity has resulted in deviations from Standard Australian English. However, the practical necessity for a Standard Australian English in the context of international relations ensures that it will remain a relevant variety of English in Australia for the foreseeable future.

While Standard Australian English itself is not changing, non-standard varieties of Australian English have become popular through common use and are directly influenced by phenomena such as globalization and Americanisation, especially in terms of lexis and discourse. Non-standard Australian English is becoming an important variety in a tug-of-war fashion: first of all, it is attempting to become a more neutral variety that ‘breaks off the shackles’ of Australia’s colonial past, whilst also maintaining a unique national identity in a global context. For example, non-standard Australian English has experienced lexical borrowing and Americanisation, with classic Australian slang such as ‘mate’, ‘grouse’ and ‘sheila’ neutralised by the addition of their American counterparts ‘dude’, ‘cool’ and ‘babe’ to this non-standard variety. This movement towards a more globally accepted variety of English has resulted in a variety of English that is suited to Australia’s modern multicultural society. Conversely, the maintenance of the Australian identity and its colourful connotations has been noticed by international social commentators. Ian Rose, a British freelance writer, describes ‘breezy’ discourse closings such as ‘no dramas’, ‘too easy’ and ‘good on ya’ as terms that uniquely convey the ‘casual optimism’ that is intrinsically associated with the Australian persona. Most of all, it is the ‘athletic vigour’ that Australian expressions have that maintains our identity and thus highlights the importance such as non-standard varieties of Australian English.

The indubitable increased importance of other non-standard varieties of SAE such as Teenspeak and CMC (computer mediated communication) has rendered SAE a static construct that is unable to keep up with the amorphous linguistic boundaries within generational realms. On a broader scale, the use of technological language encompasses all generations, but teenagers, as the linguistic vanguards of linguistic principles have dominated a modern shift in social paradigms. For example, the morphological creation of rebuses ‘4eva’, remodeling ‘f#!k’ and compounding ‘yoloswag’ on social media platforms such as Facebook display the classical recalcitrance of the teenage generation towards standard linguistic norms. Whilst a secondary purpose of technological teenspeak is to demarcate social groups on a small scale, a primary, more important purpose relates to the recent shift from a national Australian paradigm, to a generational paradigm. The application of neologisms such as ‘faffing’ (playing around) and ‘munt’ (to vomit) is further evidence to explain the fact that there is more generational slang than national slang as part of non-standard English varieties, forming a new ‘us-and-them’ dichotomy between generations. The strong reflection of modern societal values is embedded in the use of non-standard English and its ostensible preference as the more important variety.

Although SAE is putatively less important than non-standard varieties in most societal contexts, it is an undeniable truth that SAE remains as a salient variety of Australian English. This is seen in its necessity for communications in realms relating to international aviation and global affairs. In particular, a miscommunication over the semantics of the initialism ‘OK’ in aviation discourse at Tenerife Airport in the Canary Islands in 1972 led to a major mid-air collision that claimed 573 lives. The principle behind the necessity of Standard English is even more applicable today. With more international air travel than ever before, the importance of an international understood medium of communication is well documented within the aviation industry, and it follows that the Australian variety of Standard English should also be maintained. It is for the sake of clarity that SAE should be well maintained, controlled and most importantly, relevant on ever changing linguistic landscape.

To this end, it is clear that whilst SAE may no longer be the most important variety of Australian English today, it will always be a saliently relevant variety for Australia’s multicultural society.

Hi Nguyensanity,

I know this is repeatedly stressed but you do need to make an effort to include at least a few linguist quotes into your essay. Your examples are good (Ian Rose one was interesting) and your links to the topic are also relevant. However, some pretty substantial points you make 'teenspeak has rendered SAE a static construct that is unable to keep up with the amorphous linguistic boundaries within generational realms...' should definitely be backed up with some sort of evidence other than examples. A relevant quote might be 'language is constantly changing and this is a part of the evolutionary process' (Bruce Moore).

In addition, your first paragraph on Australian identity is a great paragraph overall. You could link Americanisms to shifting cultural attitudes and the media landscape, which then inherently links to the volatile nature of teenspeak. Your second paragraph is also well-written but it can definitely be made stronger through the addition of some linguist quotes. Your examples are recent, relevant, and utilises sophisticated metalanguage. You might want to shift your focus from memorising overly-convoluted words such as 'recalcitrance' and 'demarcate' and instead memorise some relevant teenspeak or language change quotes. Furthermore, your last paragraph is definitely weak. It focuses on only one example from the niche-communication sphere, an example from 1972 as well. VCAA has placed an emphasis on more contemporary examples and whilst I understand it relates directly to your point of 'communication is vital for aviation', you need to remember that the topic asks you to talk about the relevance of SAE in Australia today! You may want to avoid implementing this paragraph into your actual essay tomorrow as it is definitely your weakest one.

All in all a solid essay but the last paragraph didn't really address the question. Your paragraph focused on the function of language rather than specific SAE features and you should take care in planning your essay tomorrow to ensure you actually address the prompt.

12-13/15 (Closer to 13)

Best of luck for tomorrow!
« Last Edit: November 12, 2014, 11:55:20 am by NyaTaku »
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dannynips

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Re: English Language essay submission and marking
« Reply #191 on: November 12, 2014, 12:42:59 pm »
0

Hi everyone,

I know this is very late, 2 days out from the exam, but if I could get any feedback on this essay that would be great! :) Many thanks in advance!

‘Standard Australian English is no longer a relevant or important variety of language in Australia today.’

In contemporary Australian society, Standard Australian English is still a relevant variety of language, even though the common use of non-standard English has surpassed it in importance. Firstly, the exponential growth of globalization and the use of English in the ‘global village’ has resulted in a plethora of non-standard hybrid Australian English varieties. In addition to this, modern advancement in technology and global communication, as well as a shift in national identity has resulted in deviations from Standard Australian English. However, the practical necessity for a Standard Australian English in the context of international relations ensures that it will remain a relevant variety of English in Australia for the foreseeable future.

While Standard Australian English itself is not changing, non-standard varieties of Australian English have become popular through common use and are directly influenced by phenomena such as globalization and Americanisation, especially in terms of lexis and discourse. Non-standard Australian English is becoming an important variety in a tug-of-war fashion: first of all, it is attempting to become a more neutral variety that ‘breaks off the shackles’ of Australia’s colonial past, whilst also maintaining a unique national identity in a global context. For example, non-standard Australian English has experienced lexical borrowing and Americanisation, with classic Australian slang such as ‘mate’, ‘grouse’ and ‘sheila’ neutralised by the addition of their American counterparts ‘dude’, ‘cool’ and ‘babe’ to this non-standard variety. This movement towards a more globally accepted variety of English has resulted in a variety of English that is suited to Australia’s modern multicultural society. Conversely, the maintenance of the Australian identity and its colourful connotations has been noticed by international social commentators. Ian Rose, a British freelance writer, describes ‘breezy’ discourse closings such as ‘no dramas’, ‘too easy’ and ‘good on ya’ as terms that uniquely convey the ‘casual optimism’ that is intrinsically associated with the Australian persona. Most of all, it is the ‘athletic vigour’ that Australian expressions have that maintains our identity and thus highlights the importance such as non-standard varieties of Australian English.

The indubitable increased importance of other non-standard varieties of SAE such as Teenspeak and CMC (computer mediated communication) has rendered SAE a static construct that is unable to keep up with the amorphous linguistic boundaries within generational realms. On a broader scale, the use of technological language encompasses all generations, but teenagers, as the linguistic vanguards of linguistic principles have dominated a modern shift in social paradigms. For example, the morphological creation of rebuses ‘4eva’, remodeling ‘f#!k’ and compounding ‘yoloswag’ on social media platforms such as Facebook display the classical recalcitrance of the teenage generation towards standard linguistic norms. Whilst a secondary purpose of technological teenspeak is to demarcate social groups on a small scale, a primary, more important purpose relates to the recent shift from a national Australian paradigm, to a generational paradigm. The application of neologisms such as ‘faffing’ (playing around) and ‘munt’ (to vomit) is further evidence to explain the fact that there is more generational slang than national slang as part of non-standard English varieties, forming a new ‘us-and-them’ dichotomy between generations. The strong reflection of modern societal values is embedded in the use of non-standard English and its ostensible preference as the more important variety.

Although SAE is putatively less important than non-standard varieties in most societal contexts, it is an undeniable truth that SAE remains as a salient variety of Australian English. This is seen in its necessity for communications in realms relating to international aviation and global affairs. In particular, a miscommunication over the semantics of the initialism ‘OK’ in aviation discourse at Tenerife Airport in the Canary Islands in 1972 led to a major mid-air collision that claimed 573 lives. The principle behind the necessity of Standard English is even more applicable today. With more international air travel than ever before, the importance of an international understood medium of communication is well documented within the aviation industry, and it follows that the Australian variety of Standard English should also be maintained. It is for the sake of clarity that SAE should be well maintained, controlled and most importantly, relevant on ever changing linguistic landscape.

To this end, it is clear that whilst SAE may no longer be the most important variety of Australian English today, it will always be a saliently relevant variety for Australia’s multicultural society.

This essay is fucken good
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Nguyensanity

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Re: English Language essay submission and marking
« Reply #192 on: November 12, 2014, 03:34:49 pm »
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What up! I'm back again. Sorry to be a massive pain, but I've got another essay I've just done after trying the 2013 VCAA paper. Take a look and let me know what you think (if you feel like it) :) Many thanks in advance and good luck to all doing English Language tomorrow!

‘Australian English is inventive and playful, and reflects out national identity.’ To what extent do you agree? (VCAA 2013, Q9)

Australian English is an inventive and playful variety of English that strongly reflects our national identity. Firstly, unique Australian expressions that contain ‘athletic vigour’ pertaining to our well-known national stereotype for being ‘outdoorsy’ (Rose, Age 2013) are commonplace in Australian discourse today. Furthermore, the longevity of historical slang such as Cockney Rhyming Slang (CRS) and swearing has added another dimension to our creativeness and imagination in terms of language expressing national identity. However, there has been a recent shift from the use of Australian English for national identity to generational identity, coinciding with the need to become a more neutral variety of language in English’s ‘global village’ (Crystal).

Australian discourse and lexis have long been regarded as intrinsic features of Australian English that truly reflect out national identity. In particular, it reinforced national stereotypes of relaxed, laidback people. For example, the use of conversational closings such as ‘too easy’, ‘no dramas’ and ‘good on ya’ reflect the casual optimism with which Australians view their lifestyle. In addition to this myriad of unique discourse expressions, Australian English also contains unique functional lexemes and expressions, as seen in the negation displayed in ‘yeah-nah’. This expressions factors into the historical Australian characteristic of mateship, by maintaining social harmony as a hedge for dispreferred responses and by downplaying superiority to a peer, promoting equality and solidarity amongst friends. This mateship identity is once again evidenced in the typical Australian use of diminutives as terms of address, such as ‘Damo’ and ‘Stevo’. The laidback ease with which the /o/ vowel is pronounced increases its common use as a unique Australian term.

In addition to unique discourse and lexis in Australian English, the widespread use of swearing, expletives and Cockney Rhyming Slang have begun to push the modern boundaries of taboo. The relatively high tolerance of swearing in Australian society, whilst certainly creative, inventive and unique, has given the Australian identity negative, unwanted connotations. The creation of expletives such as ‘fuckwit’, ‘arsewipe’ and ‘dickhead’ has slowly become a subject of taboo as Australia looks towards a future with a more neutral, globalised variety of English. This is also evidenced in a recent public example of CRS. Melbourne Demons AFL player Bernie Vince took to Twitter immediately after the 2014 Melbourne Cup to post ‘Admire Rakti’s new nickname…Heinz Tomato Sauce’. While putatively harmless at first, in the context of Admire Rakti having actually died after coming last in the Melbourne Cup, along with the use of CRS ‘Heinz Tomato Sauce’ to reference ‘dead horse’, Vince received heavy backlash on Twitter for his comment. This indicates that Australians have become distanced from the language and CRS that identifies them as being connected to Australia’s colonial past, and are ‘breaking off the shackles’ in search of a globally accepted variety.

Whilst Australian English has always been playful in nature, a recent shift from the presentation of identity on a national paradigm to a generational paradigm has resulted in a more neutral variety of Australian English. The linguistic tug-of-war between becoming a more accepted, understandable variety of English, especially when it comes to CRS, and the maintenance of the Australian flair for language is becoming a more significant quandary. The drivers for language change, widely considered to be teenagers, have resorted to hybrid features of language such as adjective formation seen in the suffixation of nouns using ‘-ey’ and ‘-ish’. The use of these suffixes has made a blur between identifying as an Australian and the ambiguous and colloquial feel these suffixes provide, and the generational tone of modern teens and their pubescent years of angst and uncertainty. In today’s society, even though this is still classified as inventive, playful language formation, it can no longer by indubitably considered uniquely Australian. This can also be proven through the implementation of neologistic acronyms in today’s language, such as ‘FOMO’ (fear of missing out) and ‘YOLO’ (you only live once). These terms promote both identities, in both a national and generational paradigm; acronyms show the laidback natures of Australians and semantically, the ‘us-and-them’ dichotomy that appears when understanding the use of these acronyms in situational contexts.

Australian English is inventive, playful and one of the most unique varieties of English worldwide. However, the continuous shift of linguistic paradigms towards the representation of generational identity has resulted in a more neutral, globalised variety as Australia moves into the future.
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Re: English Language essay submission and marking
« Reply #193 on: November 27, 2014, 08:19:22 pm »
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can someone give me some definitions for these, with possibly an example too?

Phrases:
Clauses:
Phrases:
Sentences:

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Re: English Language essay submission and marking
« Reply #194 on: January 24, 2015, 02:43:57 pm »
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can someone give me some definitions for these, with possibly an example too?

Phrases:
Clauses:
Phrases:
Sentences:

Zues, this is the wrong place to put this question. There is another page here: EngLang 3/4 Question Thread. ,which would be much more suited. Just a warning for next time. However, I will answer your query on the other page. I'm sorry if I sound rather serious, but it's a courtesy of being on this forum.
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