To be an engineer, you have to know the hymn of the engineers
The Hymn of the Engineers
To the tune of the Battle Hymn of the Republic
Chorus
We are, we are, we are, we are, we are the Engineers!
We can, we can, we can, we can demolish 40 beers!
Drink rum, drink rum, drink rum, drink rum, and so say all of us,
We don't give a fuck about any old suck who don't give a fuck about us!
My father was a miner in the Northern Malamute,
My mother was a mistress in a house of ill repute.
The last time that I saw them both these words rang in my ears,
"Get out of here, you son of a bitch, and join the Engineers!"
Chorus
Godiva was a lady, who through Coventry did ride,
To show to all the villagers her fine and lily-white hide.
The most observant villager, an Engineer (of course),
Was the only one to notice that Godiva rode a horse.
Said she, "I've come a long, long way and I will go as far
With the man who takes me from this horse and leads me to a bar."
The men who took her from her steed and led her to a beer,
Were a blurry-eyed surveyor and a blood-shot Engineer.
Godiva was a lady well-endowed there was no doubt,
She never wore a stitch of cloths, just wound her hair about,
The first man ever made her was an Engineer (of course),
But on just one drink and Artsie fink once did Godiva's horse!
Now Godiva's dead, and where she fell a benchmark marks the spot,
In any Engineering text its level can be got.
And up in heaven everyday Godiva craves for beer,
But she will have to wait till heaven gets a resident Engineer.
Chorus
An Artsman and Engineer once found a gallon can,
The Artsman to the Engineer "Outdrink me if you can!"
They drank three drinks, the Artsman fell, his face was turning green,
But the Engineer drank on and said, "It's only gasoline."
A Commie and an Engineer were stranded on a boat,
But one man was too heavy so the poor boat wouldn't float.
The Engineer would flip a coin to settle the dispute,
So he flipped it in water and the Commie gave pursuit.
Chorus
The army and the navy boys went out to have some fun,
Down to the local tavern where the fiery liquors run,
But all they found were empties, for the Engineers had come,
And traded all their instruments for gallon kegs of rum.
My father peddles opium, my mother's on the dole,
My sister used to walk the streets, but now she's on parole,
My uncle plays with little girls, my auntie raped a steer,
But they don't even speak to me because I'm an Engineer!
Chorus
Sir Francis Drake and all his men set out for Calais Bay,
They'd heard the Spanish Rum fleet was headed up that way.
But the Engineers had beat them by a night and half a day,
And though as drunk as they could be, you still could hear them say...
Chorus
A man sat in a tavern with a lovely Melbourne lass,
And stared when for the nineteenth time she raised and drained her glass.
He said "You've out drunk four strong men, and half the bar, my dear."
But the maiden smiled demurely and said "I'm an Engineer."
On reading Kuma Sutra a guy once learned position nine,
For proving masculinity, it truly was divine.
But then one day the girl rebelled and threw him on his rear,
For he was a feeble Artsie and she was an Engineer.
Chorus
A maiden and an Engineer were sitting in the park,
The Engineer was busy doing research after dark.
His scientific method was a marvel to observe,
While his right hand wrote the figures down, his left hand traced the curves.
We drink and drink and drink and drink and we are Engineers,
We drink and drink, and we'll kick your arse if you try to steal our beer,
We drink and drink and drink and drink and throw up on the floor,
Then we brush our teeth and drink and drink and drink and drink some more!
Now you've heard our story and you know we're Engineers,
We love to love our women and we love to drink our beers.
We drink to every person who comes here from far and near,
'Cause we're a HELL-OF-A, HELL-OF-A, HELL-OF -A,
HELL-OF-A, HELL-OF-AN-ENGINEER!!!
Chorus
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