PhoenixxFire's VCE journey

[PhoenixxFire]

Remember that because of your state of mind rn it's very difficult to assess how many exactly you probably got wrong and since you're stressed and disappointed your mind is more likely to believe things that are more pessimistic than reality. It's completely understandable to feel a whole bunch of emotions right now, but I hope that you feel better soonish and, less importantly, that this helps you for exam 2.

<3

You’re right as always mt <3

From the answers people are posting I’m pretty sure I just got Q8 of both the modules wrong. They were both a complete guess so that was entirely expected. It’s better than I thought, but I’m still so annoyed Especially the networks one because I almost guessed the correct answer. I would have been able to get both of those if I’d had time. They weren’t overly complicated, and I can’t change it now but damn it’s frustrating

Gonna have to work on my timing before exam 2 lol.

[PhoenixxFire]

Well that went way better. I haven’t discovered any mistakes I’ve made yet, but that obviously doesn’t mean I’ve gotten everything right either, but it definitely went better than exam 1.

Fuck I’m still so pissed about that. Ugh whyyyyyyyyyyyy

My guess is I’ll get around a 43-45 for further, assuming this exam went as well as I think it did.

I don’t know what rank I am, I did pretty badly in the first sac, but afaik almost everyone did just as badly (except a few people who did well). The rest of my SACs were all in the 90s, and I know I was wayyyy above my class for them. Like, I don’t know what the average was exactly, but my teacher just chucked our SACs on the table and said to grab ours so I know I saw heaps of marks that’s were 60-70% or even lower, and I didn’t see any that were close to mine. But then I don’t know about the other classes.

So yeah, no cohort to rely on to help with my scores (no one at my school got 40+ for further last year), so I’m kind of worried about how my SACs are going to scale. But other than that this exam was pretty good (I think).

I’m actually sort of more annoyed about how much I fkd exam 1 now though, I could have actually done really well in further if I hadn’t fkd it up

(But then doing badly in this exam would have been just as bad so doing well shouldn’t really make doing bad in exam 1 worse...if that makes any sense).

tl;dr because this got rambly and incoherent:
-that exam was pretty good
-I’m still majorly frustrated that I fkd exam 1.

[PhoenixxFire]

I can't wait for this to be over.

I feel a bit like I'm stuck in limbo at the moment. I can't relax because of exams and all, but I also can't cram because that's just going to make me panic and then I'll end up doing worse.

I keep flipping between wanting to actually try and do as well as I can in outdoor ed and enviro, and not caring because (unless I've seriously misjudged something haha) I can get away with doing fuck all for the next week and still get into my course. Also I keep beating myself up about all the time I could have tried harder throughout the year. And I kind of wish I had tried harder. But despite how much I keep telling myself I should have done more or studied harder, I also keep thinking about how much worse that would have made this year. I mean, I haven't particularly enjoyed this year - especially school-wise - it's been really, really boring. In terms of the stuff I've been learning in my VCE classes, very little of it has actually interested me. It's been the stuff outside of VCE that's actually kept me fairly entertained, and mostly sane, this year.

Whilst I'm studying haha 'studying' nice joke PF at the library, I keep looking at all the books around me. All the interesting things that I could be learning about (there's this book called 'she has her mother's laugh' by Carl Zimmer and it is seriously taunting me - don't even know if it's any good but damn I want to read it haha). But instead I'm stuck there trying to cram all of this useless information in my head. Do you know what the difference between recreation and conservation interactions is? Recreational users will modify an environment to make their activity more enjoyable, Conservationists will protect the environment as it is. Yippey, so interesting. Now don't get me wrong - the way that people's perceptions of an environment influencing the actions that they would be willing to take to protect the environment, and how that relates to the best ways of convincing people to take conservation actions is interesting. But the crap we have to memorise is not interesting, I'd much rather just learn about it, not learn the best way to explain it in an exam.

It was really different with biology, I never really had any problems with being able to write things clearly, so I never had to worry about how to write things and instead I could just learn things. And that was interesting. But now I'm so, so bored. Which is why I keep convincing myself that it doesn't really matter, and that I can take breaks and do other things that are more interesting. But then I'm all like, 'but it's only one more week...I should just keep trying' and then I do for a bit, and then I get really bored, or really frustrated (yeah VCAA I'd guessed that when you ask for 4 examples I'm going to get a mark for each, if you could potentially give me some suggested answers in your examiners report that would be fantastic) and then I give up again.

My outdoor ed exam is on Monday and I haven't actually done any proper practice exams for it. Part of that is because I can't mark them - almost our entire study design has to relate to a specific environment or to a specific issues out of several options, which makes it incredibly hard to mark, even on the rare occasion when VCAA feels like putting answers in their examiners report (the 2016 report is brilliant, every other year is rather lacking), it's still unlikely that the environments will be the same as the one I use. The study design is also incredibly short though (4-5 dot points for each area of study lol), so I've just been going through all the past years exams and trying to find suggested answers for the very limited range of questions that they can ask, the hard part is finding answers that work for the environments I'm using - but I have been having some success.

I'm kind of (actually a lot, but I don't like talking in absolutes) dissapointed in how little study I've done this week. I've never really cared much for English, stressed a lot but not cared much, and I found math really easy to study for. But outdoor Ed is screwing with me (I think Enviro will be boring but at least fairly straightforward). I'm also kind of mad at myself for being dissapointed that I haven't been studying constantly. It's so silly to be beating myself up about something that's only going to matter for a few weeks. But here I am doing it anyway.

Also I know that everyone IRL is going to ask what I got - hell even people I work with who I barely know asked last year - and everyone is going to have their own opinions and fuck I don't want to deal with that. They're either going to try and convince me that I've done well, even if I don't think I have, or they're going to say it's good but I'll know they don't actually think that. Some of my teacher's have basically already said that I could have done better - not in so many words, but they've said that I should have studied more, or that if I'd tried harder I'd be rank 1, and fuck I KNOW that. I know I could have. But why on Earth does it matter so much to them? Why do they have to keep telling me that? I almost wrote that I decided not to so that I could do other things (like all the camps I've gone on etc.), but that's not really true. I reckon I could have still done all that and still done better academically than I have this year. Really, I decided (although it wasn't really a conscious decision) that it wasn't worth the extra stress. Sure I could have gotten a 95+ ATAR, but why?? what would be the point of that? What would be the point of trying so damn hard and worrying and being stressed when there's no point to it. and to think that I almost got through this post without any severe ranting.

Sure it would have proved that I'm capable of that, but so what? Instead I've proven to myself that I can choose not to be perfect. Sure there were plenty of times when I wanted to get 100%, and sure I hoped that I could do that without putting in any work (lol), but ultimately I chose not to put that work in, and I knew what that meant, I knew that I wouldn't do super well in any of my subjects (although I'm still really mad about math because I almost managed to do really well in that despite having done absolutely no math work outside of class time until September - I did a little in private study at school, but none after school). Trying to be the best is always something I've done. And it's always been futile. Rather than focusing on where I could be, and trying desperately to get there, I should be focusing on doing the best I can where I am now. I don't really know how to describe it better than that. It's sort of an attitude thing. Everything around me kind of just fades away when I'm focusing on something else and I'm trying not to do that. I'm trying to focus on what's around me instead, especially on the people around me. That's not to say that I can't also have a goal, it just shouldn't be my only focus, which is something that I often end up making it.

And that kind of sounds philosophical, but really I just realised that as I wrote it. It's still true though, I just haven't quite convinced myself yet.



'grats if you actually managed to read all that. I think that's more than I wrote the entire year for English. One more thing I want to say though (bare with me lol)

You're all really fucking great. Seriously. I tend to get caught up in all the crap that goes on in the world. I just see everyone hating each other, and hurting each other, and it's also so damn pointless and horrible. But then there's AN, just this little sanctuary on the internet where people are so damn nice and wholesome and I love you all so much <3 Every time I see all this crap, and start thinking that there's no hope for humanity and that we're all doomed, I just have to remember that you're all here, and you all give me hope

[Joseph41]

You're almost there, friend!

[PhoenixxFire]

So, outdoor ed was yesterday. It was really easy, but I still did badly. I’m really annoyed at myself about that (but then that’s pretty much just the constant state of things at the moment). Could have done way better if I’d actually studied a bit more, but then that’s how it always is.

My lack of motivation for anything is really annoying me. But I kind of just want to go back to sleep and forget that the real world exists for a few weeks.

I know I haven’t been sleeping enough, and hay fever is making it a bit hard to breathe properly, which is incredibly annoying. So I’m sure that’s part of the reason why I’m stresssed about everything. Even work is stressful and I’ve been working there for 3 years, you’d think I’d just about be able to do that in my sleep by now. These exams are fucking me up pretty good.

But anyway, outdoor ed: I’m pretty sure I wrote more in that than I did in my English exam. It was a 2 hour exam but my hand hurt more than it did after English lol. There was only one question on relationships. There’s this thing on the study design; indigenous and European relationships with the environment, and then also how relationships are affected by a bunch of different things including arrival of Europeans, increasing population, industrialisation, nation building. The only question on that was Q1 which was only worth 3 marks.

Our 10mark question at the end was weird. It asked us to select an environmental movement, but the options were Environmental conflicts not movements. In past exams the options would be things like The wildernesss society, Greenpeace, Gould league, etc. instead the options were Lake Pedder, Little desert, Franklin river, which was weird. They’re different parts of the study design and the question was worded really weirdly. I did the franklin river and talked about the wilderness society (because we also had to talk about the movement). Was very weird that they didn’t call them conflicts at all, just kept calling them movements which is not what the study design calls it. I didn’t get anywhere near full marks for that, but given somewhere between 10-15% of the state normally get 0 marks, I don’t think I did too badly.

I’m trying to do some past Enviro exams at the moment. But I’ve just kinda been staring at the page and reading it and then forgetting what I read. So that’s *fun.*

I’m so damn tired. And I know it’s just because of the exams, but it’s making everything seem stressful, even though everything else shouldn’t be stressful. and that was a very grammatically incorrect sentence. I think. I dunno and so I keep avoiding doing things, but then I keep thinking about having to do them and that’s just more stressful so I should just do them. But I’m probably not going to lol


Also now im starting to worry about next year. Which I was trying to avoid until after exams at least. So many questions. The first being if I’m going to transfer to a woolies store in Canberra or quit and try and find a new job. Which is probably a stupid idea because I imagine it’s hard. Hopefully I’ll actaully manage to get a job with set shifts. It’s really annoying having them change every week. Makes it very hard to plan anything. And see this is what I mean. Why tf am I worrying about this already lol.

And now I’ve been at the library for 2 hours and have done about half an hour of actual studying. Damnit.

I did intend for this to be a short post 🤷‍♀️🤦‍♀️

[Bri MT]

The outdoor ed exam sounds weird, but I'm glad that even with the curveballs you managed to adapt and get something down.


Imo you should think about whether doing practice exams right now is the best use of your time. Only you can decide if taking a break will help you get your headspace better or if you'll just feel more guilty afterwards but I strongly recommend thinking (& coming to a quick decision) about it.



Hope you feel better soon - not long left now

[PhoenixxFire]

Guess what???



Did you guess it?

I’M DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

‘Scuse the excitement, I’m excited

There are literally birds chirping. Very beautiful weather as well, definitely a good day to have my last exam.

I’m actually really happy. I’m was worried that I’d be upset about how much more study I could have done, but I’m not. Let’s hope this lasts hahaha. I know I’m going to be really worried in the few days before ATAR release, but hopefully I can avoid worrying about it until then.

Ya know how I said that exams stressing me out was making me worry about everything else? I was right, I’m not really worried about everything else anymore lol. That is generally how things go for me, and I’m getting way better at recognising that it’s just one thing stressing me out rather than everything so yay for that!

So, the actual exam:
-I almost ran out of time. I’ve always hated skipping parts of the exam and coming back to them but I did it this time. Enviro is mostly 2/3 mark questions but it also has a few longer ones, I initially skipped the 6marker because I knew I could do a better job if I had time to plan it first, but I didn’t want to risk running out of time.

I got very worried that I was actually going to run out of time and not be able to finish it, but I did end up finishing it. There were a few points that I left to last, and I ended up completely guessing about 4marks, but I only had 5 min left and it was better than writing nothing.

-The exam was pretty much exactly what I expected. It actually seemed fairly easy and straightforward, but there were definitely a few things I got wrong due to lack of study.
There wasn’t anything entirely unexpected though, which is something I was worried about. Quite a lot of it I’d seen in almost identical form on past exams.


I’m hoping I can scrape a 40 in Enviro, but I’m not confident about that at all. Especially given I know that I’m not rank 1 for unit 3, I don’t know if I’m rank 1 for unit 4.
It’s literally just me and one other kid in my class who actually care about results at all - she’s the same person who was rank 1 for U3 bio and rank 2 for U4 last year.

Also, I’m really hungry. Who thought an exam finishing at 5:15pm was a good idea?? (+an hour to get home...)

Anyways, the tl;dr version is I’m done with high school forever and I’m very excited

Now I’ve really got to finish watching season 3 of lucifer. My brothers are mocking me because I’ve watched half the season in a month and they watched all three seasons in under a week (after I told them about it of course haha).

I’m probably going to keep posting in here, until offers probably, then I’ll end this. But I doubt it’ll be anywhere near as frequent now I’m done!!! (I’m so excited!! and hungry)

[Joseph41]

So, so good. Congratulations!

[Poet]

‘Scuse the excitement, I’m excited

YEESSSS PHOENIX YEEESSSS SO HAPPY FOR YOOUUUUU 

[PhoenixxFire]

I finally burned my exams and stuff - even all my bio exams from last year (I'd forgotten how many I did)! and cooked marshmallows over the fire lol

Spoiler

Haven't really been doing much, I still haven't even managed to finish cleaning my room (I started though!) Still haven't finished watching season 3 of Lucifer either lol (1 episode left, I should watch it now haha)

I don't think I could actually tell you what I've been doing since exams finished - a whole lot of nothing haha - (pretty sure I spent a couple of hours yesterday patting my puppies). But that's okay, I was so sick of studying that I couldn't even bring myself to read a book because I had to focus too much haha

Not really sure what I'm going to do with the rest of my holidays, I suppose it depends how bored I get - I'm not really that bored at the moment although I expected to be, I suppose I'm just finally enjoying not having school -- I've been doing VCE for 4 years after all, it's been a long time since I didn't have homework to worry about.

I actually had a nightmare that I had completely screwed up all my exams a few days ago - pretty sure it was because that was the night I burned all my exams, so I was thinking about school. Took me ages after waking up to remember that school was finished though


I'm not really sure what the point of this update was

[PhoenixxFire]

This post even gets a soundtrack

I need a hobby. Okay so maybe that's not how I should start this. I'm finally starting to worry about results, which sucks. I don't think I'm actually worried about what ATAR I'll get though. I mean, maybe I am, I don't know. But I don't think I am. I think I'm more worried that it'll make this real. That it'll somehow legitimise how I think this year has gone.

-- I'm sorry this entire post is probably going to be as incoherent as the bit above --

So anyway, I'm not really sure what the point of actually posting this is - but I suppose I just want to keep a record of it. I'm actually not really sure how to write what I want to say #WhyI'mFailingEnglish but I'm gonna try anyway.

Right, so anyway. Legitimising how I think this year has gone. Yeah. So...badly? I suppose. I mean, throughout the year I wasn't trying particularly hard - I'm sure I've said that before. And like, throughout the year I didn't particularly care about that - I knew I wasn't trying very hard, but I also knew that it didn't really matter because I didn't need a high ATAR. I don't need a high ATAR. But also, I don't really know what I've done with this year? Like, if I didn't try particularly hard in school, then what did I do? And I think that's partly because of what I see of people around me. People either do well in school or they don't. But when they don't it's normally justified. They did something else. They didn't do well in school because they were doing something else. Or they didn't do well but it doesn't matter because of something else.

And I don't know what I've been doing. And it's weird. Because throughout the year it felt like I was doing something. But now I can't seem to remember what that was. And, like, my memory sucks so that's probably part of it haha. It feels weird. And confusing.

I'm so used to being tested by tests. I was thinking yesterday, and I was almost...looking forward to doing tests in uni?? And I think that's mostly because I'm still judging myself based on results. And that sucks.

So anyway I should probably get back to what I was talking about and stop rambling. Results. Those horrible things.
So, I don't think I'm going to be surprised by my results. I'm fairly sure I'll get something between 85 and 90, probably closer to the 85 end. (nek minnit I get below 85 lol)Whoops now I'm actually worried about that

I think it's partly related to things other people have said. But it's also not, because I shouldn't still be worrying about that, and they certainly didn't intend it like that. But here we are. I hate that I'm still worrying about what other people think, and other people's expectations. But I also don't really know how to stop myself from doing that.

I don't really know what to do with myself now. I kinda feel like I'm just wasting my time, kinda just floating along until results get here (but I also don't know what I'm going to do after that). I want to do something. I just don't know what. I feel like I should be working towards something. Now that schools finished I don't really have anything to work towards though. I'm just...existing until the next thing comes along. I suppose there are things I could be doing. I did intend to volunteer somewhere over the holidays. But I haven't. (If I'm being honest, a big part of that is because that would involve talking to people and being social lol.)

I really don't like not having anything to be working on. But I also don't think it's a good idea to always be working on something, gotta be able to relax sometime. I just don't really know how to do that. I don't even really know what I enjoy doing, it's been a long time since I've been able to just have fun.

I used to like sport - specifically swimming. Part of the reason I used to swim a lot was because I've always been forced to. But I do really like being in the water. Maybe I should go scuba diving again - it's so much fun. There's a few problems with that though. a. It's expensive. b. It involves other people. c. I don't know anyone who would go with me so d. It involves strangers. and e. It would involve convincing my mum to drive me to wherever we're diving from.

So maybe I won't be going scuba diving lol.

What else did I used to like? I used to read a lot, like a lot. Reading feels a bit tedious at the moment though - I still love reading, I'm just not sure I can sit still for more than a couple of hours at a time.

I don't know what else I used to like doing. Cooking? I was thinking that I should make a giant gingerbread house. There's a few problems with that though. a. It would have to be when my siblings aren't around because b. they would get in my way and spend the whole time being annoying/laughing at me/telling me it's a waste of time etc. c. They'd try and steal all the lollies and gingerbread to eat it. and d. I'd probably mess it up and break the whole thing anyway lol

So yeah, I need a hobby. I really don't like doing nothing but I also don't know what to do with my time. And the 14th is gonna suck.

(lol I thought I was done but more rambling)

I actually dunno what I'm going to do that morning. Last year my mother dearest gave me all of 5 min to myself before she came running into my room asking what I got. good thing she's (hopefully) not reading this anymore lol It's actually kind of annoying that I've been so open about my results so far because everyone's going to expect the same from me this year lol.

I also reckon I'm gonna get an award from my school. I didn't fill in any of my graduation forms and one of them was the rsvp form for the awards morning. It's fairly likely that I'll get the subject award for math - over the last few years only 2 people got over 40 and they were 41/42 so unless there's a big change this year I'll probably get the best score at my school. I might also have a decent chance at getting dux, but I'm a lot more sceptical about that - dux at my school is generally around 90, but I'm pretty sure I know who'll get it this year, and it won't be me. But anyway that's not the point. I actually don't want any of those awards, hence the not filling in the form thing. I don't think I deserve them - there's so many people who've tried harder than I have this year regardless of whether their results reflect that. But the point of this paragraph is back to the whole expectations thing^TM If I get an award then people are going to expect me to go, and I don't want to.


I also think I'm massively overthinking everything lol. But oh well, writing it out helped anyway, even though none of this is actually at all realistic and I'm just worrying over nothing haha. Gotta stop doing that too. I need a hobby. Maybe I should attempt to learn how to play piano again.

[Bri MT]

Nice soundtrack choice btw (I got distracted reading from singing along to the lyrics)


In my experience, there are many many people who by their own perception "wasted" year 12. From my perception, you've spent a lot of time on your subjects through direct studying, contributing on AN, practice etc. I see high ATARs as keys that unlock choices - so from that perspective it makes sense that you decided to not expend even more  time and resources to access choices you're very confident you don't want to make. Ultimately it's down to your perception, but please keep in mind that the importance of the ATAR to you will probably significantly decrease next year. Super high ATARs are very visible which can trick us into thinking that they should be the benchmark against we measure ourselves, but whatever rank you get won't change the innate qualities that make you exceedingly valuable.


I feel like I should be able to give you good advice about the people expectations stuff, but the only things I can think of that helped me are: a) recognising that it's not the expectations of others hurting you, but your perceptions and assumptions related to that b) practicing reframing c) time.

I'd do SCUBA too but same. Maybe you could do just swimming? in the meantime I'd be happy to go on some ptv accesible hikes if you'd be interested. Another option is to look into volunteering for a cause you're passionate about.


I thought there'd be a whole bunch of pressure on me on ATAR day to reveal my results but generally people were very wrapped up in their own results rather than badgering me for mine Whether or not the same thing happens for you, know that we don't need to know your scores to know how much we value your role here. There's nothing wrong with asking for time to process on your own.There's nothing wrong with not displaying your scores in your signature or your posts either.


I'm glad you were able to help yourself by writing things out
As always, best of luck

[PhoenixxFire]

Well. Been a bit of a crazy day huh?

Kinda feeling a bit lost atm - but that was expected. It's done now, and there's just 'life' in front of me and that's scary.

Anyways, results.

I actually woke up at 6 this morning - I'd set my alarms (plural because I'm good at sleeping through them) for 6:30 but I woke up at 6 anyway and then couldn't get back to sleep because my family was being noisy.

Didn't exactly go as planned - finally dragged myself out of bed at about 6:40 and attempted to turn my laptop on. I say attempted because my laptop kinda just runs on its own schedule lol. So as I'm trying to get it to turn on my phone buzzes - an email from vass. Of course I knew straight away what it was, I wasn't expecting it though - I don't remember getting one last year? So whilst still trying to get my laptop to turn on, I opened my emails. I swear I could feel my heart beating in my chest haha. I saw English first - just above my prediction so that was great then I saw outdoor ed and got a bit distracted and had to remind myself that it didn't really matter because scaling. Then I saw enviro and was like 'wtf'. I had to triple check that one. Math was a bit disappointing but not too surprising. Tried to get on to see my ATAR on the app but it wasn't on there yet. It was a tense wait until I got my ATAR (and I entered my password incorrectly the first time). From my study scores I was thinking that I had a good shot at high 80's - didn't even consider that I would get 90 lol. I spent most of last night convincing myself that I had no chance lol

SO yeah, I'm incredibly relieved that I got 90. It kind of feels like I don't have to worry about results anymore - It's good enough that I'm not worried about having to avoid questions or whatever.

Results

I think there was other things I was going to write in here but I keep getting distracted - I'm probably going to make another post on here at some point when I figure out what it is exactly that I want to say maybe I'll just post memes lol

I've got so many tabs open at the moment haha, I've been writing this for an hour now and I've completely forgotten what I was saying.

Results: So yeah, bit disappointed with math - I was truly expecting a 46, I must have done worse in exam 2 than I thought, or I wasn't rank 1. Bit confused about outdoor Ed, I was expecting better than that. But then I really didn't have any sort of guide to go off given I hadn't done any full practice exams (and couldn't have marked them if I had) and I never got any feedback on any of my SACs (ngl, I'm still angry about that). SO yeah, bit disappointed with those two. Really happy with Enviro though - I wasn't expecting that. At my parent/teacher interviews at the start of term 3 my teacher said that if I kept trying I might be able to get a score in the low 30's - Even at the time I knew he had no idea what he was talking about, I was pretty confident that I was going to get at least mid 30s. But yeah, super happy with 43 In your face [teacher], he's actually not teaching the subject next year. I guess enough of us complained. I just wish they'd believed us/cared earlier Edit: That B for GA1 is just sad though

I think outdoor ed is the most disappointing of them, it had the least effect on my ATAR (thanks scaling) but I was hoping to do better.
Will probably just leave this update to results and post again sometime with everything else I want to say because it's now been 2 hours since I started writing this and I'm still getting distracted lol.
tl;dr
- Very happy I got 90
- Kinda disappointed with Outdoor Ed and math
- Now I have to do this life thing and that's scary.

[PhoenixxFire]

I really, really wanted to make this post a happy one, but for the sake of honesty I can't.

I'm just really conflicted at the moment, I don't quite know how to feel.

I kinda feel bad for some people at my school - people who tried way, way harder than me, and yet I somehow got higher scores than them. It sucks.

Also just frustrated at my school, and education in general. Surely when an entire class is averaging below 50% on SACs for the entire year you'd realise that you need to be doing something differently? - I know our school average for at least 2 of the english SACs was below 50%, my class was below 50% for every SAC. And I'm sure a lot of that is due to people not particularly caring and/or not needing good scores, but that's still ridiculous.

I've been thinking about this year, I should probably stop doing that and just move on from it. But it's so frustrating. I can't help but wonder how different things would be if I'd gone to a different school - Don't get me wrong, I absolutely did not want to go to a different school and I do not regret moving schools whatsoever, but it's not so much about going to a different school as it is having teachers that bother to challenge students. I got very lucky with my psych and bio teachers, they both actually cared and tried to help us do well - very different to my teachers this year. Anyone who's read some of my older posts in here will know how much I've complained about my Enviro and Outdoor Ed teachers in particular. My Enviro and English classes felt a lot like babysitting. It felt like we were just being taught because that's what we had to do. Outdoor Ed was certainly better in that regard however he consistently promised us more feedback, more resources, time to go over our SACs, etc. and we never got any of that, despite us reminding him.
Some of the SACs we were given were changed last minute to a different format, some were horribly inadequate (e.g. lacking marking guidelines, had the same questions multiple times), it's just so frustrating.

I really don't want to keep complaining about my teachers though, because that's really pointless. But damn I wish my school did a better job of getting VCE teachers - they do great with electives etc. but not very well at VCE.

I'm actually still disappointed with myself about math. I think a lot of the reason for that is because it's probably the subject I tried hardest in - not the subject I spent the longest on, that award goes to Enviro, but it's the only one that I actually put effort into, and wanted to do well in, and I really hate that I fucked it up. Also fkn Outdoor Ed. I still don't know how I managed to screw that up so badly

The guy I thought would get it duxed my school! I think he might've actually set a new record for highest ATAR ever as well (assuming my guesses at his SS for the subjects he got below 40 in are somewhat accurate). He's the same guy who got 50 in further, and I'm kinda salty about that lol. I got the second highest score for further (assuming everyone signed the consent form), we had quite a few 40+'s for further though. I got the highest in Enviro - I feel so bad for the only other kid in my class who actually tried though. If my GA1 grade is anything to go by, she didn't do anywhere near as good as she was trying to Also no one got 40+ in English lol. Normally there'a at least someone. And no one got 40+ in outdoor Ed, to the surprise of absolutely no one, but it still sucks.

I've got to go to work (it's so ridiculously busy with it being Christmas time, and I'm working so much) so that's enough complaining for now Going to make a point of having something positive to write about in my next post. I don't know what it'll be, but I'll come up with something


Also, I've written disappointed enough lately that I finally know how to spell it, and that sucks.

[vceme]

Hey,
I've seen you around the forums even back in the 2017 biology days! (I did bio in 2017 too- You truly, really know your stuff). I  just wanted to say congratulations for getting a score above 90! You do truly deserved it, regardless if you feel like you don't deserve it. Perhaps, with all the hours you put in helping others on this forum, it helped you as well?  I get how you are feeling about your peers getting lower scores than you. I knew quite a few people who worked so hard! and didn't get the scores that reflected their tremendous efforts. This is probably an (unfortunate) example of working smarter and not harder. The way i've seen is that those people who tried really hard to reach their goals are gonna do really well in their prospective careers!

I'm actually still disappointed with myself about math.

I feel you in this one. I really wanted Further Maths to be my top score because I had so much encouragement from my peers and my teacher. I ended up stuffing my exam and getting like 8 points lower than my dream study score lmao.

But really, the point of this reply back  was to congratulate you! You should be extremely proud of the efforts you gave into your subjects, even if they did not seem as much as your peers. You should also be really proud for helping so many others out (including myself). You're going to be one of the good ones in this world  I hope you have a happy holiday! and survive the Christmas rush next week.