ATAR Notes: Forum

VCE Stuff => VCE English Studies => VCE Subjects + Help => VCE English & EAL => Topic started by: shinny on December 09, 2008, 08:23:36 pm

Title: English Resources and Sample Essays
Post by: shinny on December 09, 2008, 08:23:36 pm
English Resources and Sample High Scoring Essays

Enjoy this collation of guides and essays from members of the AN community! 

We’d love you to add your own essays or guides - just post in the thread or PM an English mod :D

Also, keep in mind that while the following people have posted these pieces for the wider benefit of the community, they will expect that their work does not get used for the wrong purposes and will not be plagiarised under any circumstances.  ATARNotes content does show up in Google searches, and any member of the public may freely browse this forum without needing to sign up first. Unless your teacher hasn't heard of Google before, there is a very high probability you will get caught if you plagiarise an essay found on this website.

GUIDES

GENERAL GUIDES
heidiii's guide to surviving English
EvangelionZeta's English FAQs
EvangelionZeta's guide to preparing for the English exam
Nick's essential writing tips
werdna's tips for English
pi's tips for English
literally lauren's guide to EAL + Helpful links for improving expression
literally lauren's end of year study guide
literally lauren's guide to the day before the exam
spectroscopy’s ‘last resort’ to pulling up your grades
heidiii's guide to improving expression and vocab
April Fools'

TEXT RESPONSE
Links to Resources for Set Texts
DJALogical's Guide to Improving Expression
Text-specific Podcasts from ABC Radio
Prompts for Old Texts
Prompts for old texts

CONTEXT
NB: If you are doing Units 3/4 English in 2017 and beyond, you will NOT study Context.
Shinny's guide to context writing
VivaTequila's how to write a 20/20 Context Piece
literally lauren's Context External Examples and Evidence
literally lauren's guide to the Context criteria
literally lauren's breakdown of the 2015 exam prompts

LANGUAGE ANALYSIS
Costargh's language analysis study pack
Lynt.br's crash course in language analysis
dilks' Glossary of Visual Devices
literally lauren's Structuring a LA with example
DJALogical's Guide to Language Analysis
literally lauren's sample annotations for the 2015 exam
Language Analysis Resources and Guides

ESSAY TOPICS
Prompts and Sample L.A. Articles
AN’s Language Analysis Club

ORAL PRESENTATION PERFORMANCE
chansena's list of topics for 2016 + guide for planning and researching speeches
• EvangelionZeta and lexitu have kindly run an oral coaching session to prepare students for their assessed speech.  A video of the session can be viewed here. It includes performances from ATARNotes.com members kyzoo, Water and Andiio
VivaTequila's Oral Presentation Planning Guide
Oral Presentations: How to speak in Public (from the 2012 PESA Champion)

ATAR NOTES PRACTICE EXAMS
2014 Edition
2015 Edition
* 2016 Mid-year Edition

MISCELLANEOUS RESOURCES
Annotated Assessor's Report for 2014
Annotated Assessor's Report for 2015
Explanation of the New Study Design

VCAA MATERIALS AND DOCUMENTS
VCAA English Index (see especially the Assessment Handbook)
English and EAL Study Design 2008-2015
New English and EAL study design, beginning 2016 for Unit 1/2 and 2017 for Unit 3/4
VCAA's Past Exam Papers – English
VCAA’s Past Exam Papers – EAL
*note: there are bits and pieces of the Language Analysis tasks missing from the VCAA publications. If your school does not provide copies, PM user literally lauren with your email address to receive scanned copies of all materials incl. background info and visuals

OTHER
The Elements of Style by William Strunk, Jr.
Writing guide given to all journalists at The Economist
Student Welfare Outreach Team (SWOT) @ Melbourne Uni's volunteer English Notes
VU free English lecture notes
General links on essay writing, vocab and grammar

USER Q&As (read through for EXCELLENT tips and guides)
~~Main English Q and A~~
werdna and VivaTequila
Yang Li
vickychen667
werdna's last minute exam Q&A
literally lauren

SAMPLES

Reading and Responding (Text Response) Examples

All About Eve
Two 'All About Eve' Examples

Medea
Thaaanyan's 'Medea' Example
HLS's Medea Example 1 + Lauren's feedback for it
HLS's Medea Example 2 + Lauren's feedback for it

The War Poems
Limista's 'The War Poems' Example
EspoirTron’s ‘The War Poems’ Example
Splash-Tackle-Flail's 'The War Poems' Example

This Boy's Life
Pawnpusher's 'This Boy's Life' Analysis Notes

Will You Be Quiet, Please?
EspoirTron's 'Will You Be Quiet, Please?' Example

See also Compilation of Text Response Feedback for more essays from some current texts, of varying quality.

PIECES FROM OLD TEXTS – still very worth a read to learn about what makes a good text response!
Surgeon's '12 Angry Men' Example
heidiii's 'A Christmas Carol' Example
EvangelionZeta's 'A Farewell to Arms' Example
spaciiey's 'A Man for All Seasons' Example
brenden’s 'Batman' Example
stonecold's 'Cosi' Example
appianway's 'Hard Times' Example
literally lauren’s ‘Henry IV’ Example
The Raven's 'Henry IV' Example
discussion and sample paragraphs on Henry IV
werdna's 'Interpreter of Maladies' Example
FlorianK's 'Interpreter of Maladies' Example
Damo17's 'Look Both Ways' Example
Chavi's 'Maestro' Example
LOVEPHYSICS' 'On the Waterfront' Example
casettekid's 'On the Waterfront' Example
alondouek's 'On the Waterfront' Example
pi's 'Ransom' Example
TrueTears' 'Richard III' Example 1
TrueTears' 'Richard III' Example 2
TrueTears' 'Richard III' Example 3
TrueTears' 'Richard III' Example 4
TrueTears' 'Richard III' Example 5
EvangelionZeta's 'Richard III' Example
Aden's 'Richard III' Example
Istafa's 'Richard III' Example
Seems Madam?'s 'Richard III' Example
anthony99's 'Richard III' Example
Matt the Rat's 'The Kite Runner' Example
stonecold's 'Year of Wonders' Example
iffets12345's 'Year of Wonders' Example
tasek's 'Year of Wonders' Example

Creating and Presenting (Context) Examples
KEAEducation's generic creative example

Encountering Conflict
Damo17's expository example
Akirus' creative example 1
Akirus' creative example 2
Akirus' creative example 3
spaciiey's expository example (slight creative twist)
LOVEPHYSICS' expository example
paulsterio's expository example
Splash-Tackle-Flail's persuasive example

Identity and Belonging
Costargh's expository example
Toothpaste's expository-persuasive example
lynt.br's expository examples
dejan91's creative example
CharlieW's creative example
Furbob's creative example
Sickle's creative example
nisha's creative example
FlorianK's expository example (EAL)
Brenden’s creative example

Whose Reality?
Amnesiac's persuasive-creative example
EvangelionZeta's creative example 1
EvangelionZeta's creative example 2
kyzoo's creative example
EvangelionZeta's expository example
appianway's creative example
taiga's hybrid (newspaper article) example
Aden's expository example
daliu's creative example
pi's expository-creative hybrid example
Surgeon's expository example
Limista's expository example (slight creative twist)
Two creative (interview + speech) examples
ST0123's creative example

Imaginative Landscape
chlloe's expository examples
iffets12345's expository example
Fluttershy's creative example

Language Analysis Examples
TrueTears' Language Analysis Example 1
TrueTears' Language Analysis Example 2
EvangelionZeta's Language Analysis Example 1
alannah's Language Analysis
EvangelionZeta's Language Analysis Example 2
Aden's Language Analysis Example
literally lauren’s Three Language Analysis Examples
lepeter's 2014 VCAA Language Analysis Example
Brenden's 2012 VCAA Language Analysis Example
Splash-Tackle-Flail's Language Analysis Example 1
Splash-Tackle-Flail's Language Analysis Example 2
HLS's Language Analysis Example 1 + Lauren and vor0005's feedback

Reading through and taking notes on the feedback in Compilation of Language Analysis Feedback is also extremely beneficial.

Oral Presentation Examples
VivaTequila's Oral Presentation Example
Stick's Oral Presentation Example
Limista's Oral Presentation Example
Title: Re: English Work Examples Directory
Post by: costargh on December 15, 2008, 05:08:57 pm
Now that VCE is over and I feel happy with how I went with English :) I thought I'd post up the best Context essay I ever wrote. This essay draws from the source text of Witness for "Identity and Belonging".
Goodluck 2009'ers!!!  :D :D
Perhaps a mod could sticky if they thought it was worthy of not falling into the realms of threadlessness lol (whatever that means)
Quote
"Belonging strengthens identity; it does not challenge it."
“No man is an island entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent.” Renowned poet John Donne’s musing clearly explicates the idea that mankind functions effectively when society works together, not as individuals. Belonging is not only a vital component of society; it essentially strengthens individuals and perceived self-identity through the medium of conformity. When individuals are alienated, they tend to lose their sense of identity because they feel as though they are ‘nothing’; to the world they do not exist. To counteract this, membership to social, political, sporting and religious groups exist to reaffirm individuals of their own identity as represented in their respective group’s social perception. Social parallels enrich our understanding of this idea, as does the film Witness, directed by Peter Weir which evidently recreates this communally rich environment that enshrines upon its members, a strong sense of self.

As individuals, we move to reaffirm our identity through our membership to various groups in society.  All individuals reflect on what they perceive to be ‘their’ identity, but as self-discovery is in essence a never ending journey, individuals seek out those in society who tend to share similar views, beliefs and attitudes. It is in these actions that individuals reaffirm their own identity through the security invested in the ideals of conformity. This idea is prolific for adolescence as it is in this stage of human development that mankind first starts to pose the toughest question of them all; who am I? Inevitably, social stereotypes spawn such as ‘jocks’, ‘intellects’ and ‘thespians’ which form to reaffirm confidence in individuals who would have otherwise chosen to keep their individual passions negated from mainstream society. As evidenced in Witness, Rachel Lapp is confronted with the choice of whether to maintain her membership to the Amish community or whether to forgo the only life she has known, in a quest for love. What is witnessed is that Rachel inevitably chooses to maintain her membership to the Amish community because it exists to reaffirm her spiritual, religious and personal beliefs. Her identity is enshrined in Amish life as exemplified in her incessant wearing of the ‘cap’ which identifies her as part of the Amish way of life. Through our membership’s, we are ultimately strengthened in our selfhood.

Furthermore, in some instances, a desire for ‘belonging’ acts as a catalyst for self discovery whereby one is aware that they do not fit in, but are unaware of where they do. It is in these instances of purgatory that individuals begin their quest for personal independence. Consider the ever-changing lifestyle of socialite Paris Hilton. Her picture of innocence several years ago has been replaced by a new-look hard rock edge that screams ‘this is me!’ Her quest for self-discovery began as soon as she realised that what the media presented her as was not who she wanted to be. In those angelic years she did not belong, or at least to the social groups that she wished to be affiliated with. Her new ‘good girl gone bad’ image expresses the individual in herself that she feels comfortable with; somewhat to the media’s pleasure. Similarly in Witness, John Book realises that he no longer wants to be associated with a corrupt police force that promotes self-interest at all costs. He refuses to be associated with “a club with [it’s] own rules”; rules which he does not wish to conform to. As an outcast and vigilante in shock from his recent expulsion from the ‘club’ which he dedicated his life to, Book exhibits a strong desire to belong. Ultimately, this leads to his somewhat limited acceptance into the Amish community; a community which chooses to shun modern day technologies and complexities. However, Book realises that some aspects of Amish life, such as romantic love which he neglects in the busy modern world , are a part of who he is and who he wants to be. Moreover, Book’s realisation is evidence that belonging strengthens and discovers aspects of individuality identity which many may not know exist.

While in some isolated instances belonging may challenge identity, it is imperative to consider the fact that identity and belonging must co-exist in society. Without belonging there can be no identity and the converse also applies. The premise is that identity is actually formulated through perceptions of individuals and that without social groups for which individuals could apply for membership; identity would be a figment of one’s imagination. In Witness, the identities of individuals in the Amish community such as Eli, Samuel and Daniel are a product of their membership to a small communal society. Their appearance, ideals and way of life which all combine to form their identity is a result of Amish society and its existence. When Eli exclaims to John Book that “it’s not our way”, in reference to Book’s physicality he intends to uses against mainstream Americans, he epitomises the idea; individual’s beliefs are inevitably a product of their collective groups. Therefore, not only does belonging strengthen identity, it actually facilities its existence.

There are a multitude of potential factors that could influence identity but social acceptance, regardless of the group, prevails as the most pertinent idea. The rhetoric of many groups which seek members; that your identity is strengthened through conformity is evidently, but to some, somewhat surprisingly true. Individuals are a product of their perceptions; social groups merely facilitate self discovery. As a famous American theologian, Claude Bristol once said, “Undoubtedly, we become what we envisage.”

 
Title: Re: English Work Examples Directory
Post by: Amnesiac on February 18, 2009, 05:54:44 pm
Hey students of '09! Seeing as though this section of the course has always provided us with a little confusion ever since it was introduced, i thought i would post a piece a wrote last year. It is rather unordodox in content, but i really just wanted to show everyone how open 'Creating and Presenting' is to individuality. Below is the Written Explanation (to show you how i drew from the required texts) and the actual piece itself. Oh, and for the record i studied 'Whose Reality?' and this piece is written in a Persuasive form.

Prompt: Writing is an act that always involves a revision of reality.

Written Explanation:

I have chosen to write a persuasive piece in the form of a feature article that will appear in the ‘Good Weekend’, a magazine that commonly appears in the Sunday Herald Sun. I wanted to explore the ways in which songwriters can reflect on events of the past with a subjective outlook, and how this affects their audience. I will be arguing that one can never truly understand certain moments in time, whilst emphasising the fact that we live in a world where it is difficult to decipher between fact and fiction. In the novel The Shark Net, author Robert Drew essentially explores his childhood and adolescence from the perspective of an adult, who now looks on with the benefits of hindsight. This essentially means that he may have different perceptions on what occurred, because the morals that you uphold as an adult are far different than those you hold as a child. His position as the novels writer also allows him to emphasise events, such as the embarrassing moments of his seemingly normal adolescence, and omit or place less emphasis on others, such as the apparent romance between his Father and the unknown women. This selection and omission of information is required within any form of writing because it is not possible to include everything, and it is with this notion that I will attempt to explore the ways in which a writers perception is created, and the affects that it has on their audience.

Given that this will be published in an Australian magazine, I will use lyrics from Australian band The Drones, who are known for uniquely exploring events that occurred in Australia’s convict history. I will spend time gathering and sorting through information about the major issue that songwriter Garreth Liddiard explores, whilst attempting to remain purely objective. However, I will also acknowledge throughout my piece the difficulty of trying to achieve this. I will then contrast this ‘factual’ evidence with Liddiard’s interpretations and use this as a basis to develop the notion that writing is purely a subjective act. Given that it will appear in a magazine, a formal style of writing is expected, however I will provide small passages of lyrics to aid in analysing the songwriters perceptions. This will help engage my audience, who will presumably be those with an interest in the formation of subjective realities, and in particular, Australia’s early convict history. 
                   
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Is it possible that even the past can be regarded as fiction?    

THE NEW WORLD OF THE DRONES IS AN INTOXICATING PLACE, LACED WITH BOTH PLEASANT and disturbing episodes of human interaction and conflict. The band broke free in the early 2000’s with their album ‘Wait Long by the River and The Bodies of Your Enemies Will Float By…’ and have now produced the follow up album ‘Gala Mill’ which continues the band’s desire to explore past episodes in history. They ventured down to Tassie to work and recorded in a deserted mill at Gala farm; a sparse area of land that is hidden within its rich countryside. The island’s history and mythology resonates throughout the album, providing listeners with the opportunity to embark on a historical journey that is laced with songwriter Garreth Liddiard’s perceptions about the incidents that occurred in the early 1800’s. ‘Words from the executioner to Alexander Pearce’ is based on the convict who escaped from Sarah Island and was subsequently executed for eating seven of his fellow inmates – Liddiard adopts the persona of the executioner within his songwriting to illustrate his interpretation of the event, which in reality will never be truly accurate. This is partially due to the fact that Liddiard is using his own personal interpretations to guide his writing, and is subsequently blurring the line between fact and fiction. Nevertheless, Liddiard’s perception of this one event provides a great deal of knowledge into the emotions that were associated with it. 

To explore these perceptions of the past one must first be informed as to what truly happened. This is often an act that proves the most challenging, as even I may be selecting and omitting information both consciously, or subconsciously. However, to swear by this belief is worthless, because it suggests that there is no factual evidence available in this world, when one knows that this is obviously not the case. I will only attempt to provide you with my understanding of the events concerning Alexander Pearce, a man who still remains prominent for his inhumane behavior. The information that I provide from here on in has been cited in many books, and although it may not be truly accurate, I have attempted to remain as objective as possible.

Alexander Pearce, the great convict of the 19th century, was the second last man to be executed in Australia, and was so at 9am on July 19 1824 in the yard of the Hobart Town jail, facing one count of murder. These raw details of his existence must be taken as fact, because without them it is impossible to discuss the more controversial aspects of his life - the eight other counts of uncharged murder that Pearce supposedly had to his name. Historians continue to explore these other murders with an educated interest because they provide a great deal of knowledge into the type of man that Pearce was. 

If we travel further back in time our predictions about Pearce become even more unreliable, but with it only being 20 months the chance is unlikely. In these months before his execution he had escaped from a prison settlement in Sarah Island with seven fellow convicts – this place was a form of secondary punishment where recalcitrant men, such as Pearce, were sent when they repeatedly broke the law. However, it was on September 20 1822, that Pearce and his fellow convicts planned their well known escape – according to my interpretations I believe that this was in response the to the years of rigid discipline that they were subject to, but this belief may have been created from my background in psychology – The men leaped into the rainforests and mountains that surrounded the harbor and set out to endure a 225 kilometer journey to freedom. It proved more difficult than planned, and once several weeks passed, and a lack of supplies became reality, men were slowly beginning to depart the group, and other men such as Pearce relied on acts of cannibalism to remain alive. [The reasons why he partook in this behaviour are not known, but it has still continued to be analysed by individuals who will never understand his motivations.]

The group quickly numbered 2, with Pearce and his now arch enemy Greenhill playing psychological games with each other to see who would be the first to cave. Pearce took no chances, and quickly killed Greenhill with an axe whilst he was sleeping. He ate the remains, although no one will ever truly understand why. When Pearce confessed these various murders to police, they simply believed that it was a cover up for a larger conspiracy, and returned him to his chains at Sarah Island. However, it wasn’t until fellow convict Thomas Cox pleaded with Pearce into escaping once more that he was charged with cannibalism and murder. He was found with human flesh in his pocket, which suggests that he had acquired a taste for it. Pearce admitted that he only killed Cox out of rage, but the reasons why he submitted himself to cannibalism still remain a mystery.

At Pearce’s trial, witnesses claim that he showed signs of repentance towards his inhumane behavior, yet how much of this can we believe? These witnesses may have been influenced by articles in the newspaper, or words on the street. Nevertheless there was still obviously some form of psychological problem within his mind, and even after his death historians and psychologists alike have attempted to discover it. Pearce’s execution on July 19 1824 ended one of the great convict stories in Australia’s rich history, and many, such as Garreth Liddiard, have gone on to explore it in their own personal writing.

In ‘Words from the executioner to Alexander Pearce’ Liddiard adopts the persona of the executioner and structures the song around the questions that he would pose to Pearce. This reveals that Liddiard holds strong feelings about the event and explores them by only focusing on their negative and brutal aspects. He introduces the convict as a man who had always been consumed by betrayal and disloyalty, and now that he has finally reached his execution Liddiard suggests that he should find it difficult to withstand. In the second verse he then continues to compare his position – as the executioner – to Pearce’s, and believes that whilst he has no choice to be the man who kills him, men like Pearce will always ‘pour in from the trees’. This juxtaposition of characters aids in fleshing out the guilty men from the innocent, who Liddiard believes were still consumed by the corruption of this era.

Liddiard’s anger slowly develops as his voice becomes clearer, as if emerging through the darkness of the events. He insinuates that killing Pearce will not reverse the acts that he as committed, because he is ultimately a man who has ‘been burning for years.’ His acts of cannibalism are then contrasted with his conviction by drawing on the actual events that occurred, such as the venomous snakebite that killed fellow escapee Matthew Travers, to develop a sense of realism. Liddiard’s question ‘how do we taste’ allows him to shape the audiences understanding of the event, but also suggests that he is now attempting to understand the motivations behind Pearce’s actions. This desire to comprehend his intentions may never be completely possible, but he still insinuates through his writing that Pearce’s only concern was focusing of the taste of human flesh, rather than committing the acts to remain alive. Liddiard’s attempt to communicate with Pearce on a personal level is colored by his belief that Pearce is a callous individual with no soul.   

The closure of the song sees Liddiard’s voice develop into a howling scream as he reveals his underlying contention that whilst all men have abandoned Pearce, his long awaited destiny was always apparent. He concludes by saying ‘your exile is reached, you’re home’ to insinuate that his acts of immorality have come to an end, and he must now face the future that has so obviously been laid out before him. Liddiard moans these lyrics until the closure of the song, as if to emulate the dying moments of Pearce’s existence – the choir then draw out the song to an end as they symbolise the afterlife.

Garreth Liddiard has once said that songwriting is not something that can be forced out. He truly believes that one can only recount an event, or a time in history, if it is closely connected to them. For him, it is his interest in Australian convict history that allows him to present such strong opinions, and attempt to educate his audience through the way in which he presents the material. Perhaps he found similarities in Pearce’s situation to that of his own, or perhaps he just believes that a man’s callousness should be known by individual’s who are ignorant, or ill-informed about the event. Nevertheless, his revision of reality remains purely subjective, and his portrayal of the events that occurred in the past cannot be taken as fact, only fiction.         
Title: Re: English Work Examples Directory
Post by: chlloe on February 23, 2009, 10:12:07 pm
Thought Id join in. Heres a few examples for "Imaginative Landscape"

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Prompt – “It is our physical environment, not ourselves, that determines who we really are”
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What determines the person we become? It is our cultures, our traditions, our social networks and our emotions and morals that influence our choices, our career and our lifestyle. However, it is the physical nature of our ‘environment’ that is the basis for all these traits, we as individuals depict. Whether the physical nature of the environment acts as a positive or negative impact on our lives, isn’t nearly as important as the strengths, or weaknesses, it places upon its inhabitants. However, different people may possess a different prospective compared to another person from their environment, so it is still some of ‘our self’ that influences who we really are and who we become.
Our values, morals and culture all arise and are influenced by our physical surroundings. The physical landscape is often the basis of communities’ culture or religion, as seen in the Film Jindabyne, where we see the importance of the physical environment to the Aboriginal people. Their community ultimately believes that they were born from the land, and they will die in the land, the strong spiritual connection links the physical lands to their own beliefs and values. Of which, are completely wrapped around the legacy of the land. In Jindabyne, the pinnacle moment of such connection is seen in the ‘Smoking Ceremony’ where the interaction between their “community” and the environment is so strong that they are completely in sync and feed of each other, it’s a mutual relationship built on culture.  For other communities, the environment may not be such a religious influence, but rather a place of retreat or recreation. Farmers that become ridden with the burden of drought learn to value and treasure water, this shift simply arises as a result of an environmental pressure. These farmers may also be more environmental aware and active in sustainability projects due to this directly effecting their lifestyle and income, their harsh environment coerces them and from this the importance of their values surfaces.
An individual’s strengths are acquired in response to the pressures, both positive and negative, of their environment that they reside. The natural, or even urbanized, environment stamps an individual with traits that allow the survival or sanity to be maintained. However, some individuals rely on certain atmospheres for comfort and normality, but when placed in unfamiliar surroundings, individuals learn to adapt. In “Island”, Macleod depicts a harsh, isolated environment that poses a threat to those that endure it, the father in “In the Fall” is physically scared from his journey, his “left hand is larger then his right” as a result and the father in “The boat” is “hurled and slammed”. These men and women portray a sense of strength and endurance that allows them to survive in the harsh climate set by Cape Breton, however, they all gain a sense of belonging and a connection that is hard to break, those that leave find it hard to re-connect with another environment and pay the price of constant loss and displacement. A similarity between all the stories in Island is the proud strength the people hold in response to their endurance and challenges they succeed in. This is especially seen in both women, men and children, who take on their ‘allocated’ role in society. The women enthusiastically take to homemaking and defend their lifestyle; they despise change and are almost offended by their children moving away to lead city lives. The landscape can not only illuminate the strengths of those who inhabit it, but also show the weaknesses. In Jindabyne, the men’s fishing trip brings attention to the weaknesses of the men. They prioritize their leisure over the murder, and for this their lack of compassion, dignity and responsibility is obviously highlighted to the whole community, “The whole town in ashamed of you”. It is seen that because of their physical landscape they were enduring, the made choices that may or may not have been a true representative of their normal lives.

The physical environment may restrict or enhance the options available for work and leisure. For some, especially for those in “Island, the natural surroundings give the community little choice in work, the males either work on the water or in the mines, if they do not, they cannot provide for their families. The environment may encourage opportunities and choice, as seen in the urban landscape, but such landscape may not promote a welcoming, close community, that the communities in “Island” maintain, the son in “The Boat” leaves Cape Breton to gain an education, but is drawn back to the community, he rather than to follow “a silly shallow selfish dream”  . An isolated environment brings communities together, and they are so tightly woven that they stick together when times are tough. It can also tear communities apart, this is seen in Jindabyne between the European and Aboriginal communities are separated through the actions of Stuart and ‘the boys’. The community is small and isolated, and news spread quickly, the actions of the boys could not go unnoticed in such a compact community. The physical environment both encourages and discourages people to bind together, in times of physical harshness, it is better to stick together.

Above all, the aspects of individuals and communities are directly influenced by the nature of the physical landscape. The natural surrounding, be it isolated, rural, harsh or urban, has it positive and negative effects on people. Cultures, attitudes, beliefs and individuals attributes are all derived from the sense of the world around them. For some, the landscape offers an opportunity to bond with both the community and the land others promote a busy, unnatural place for people to reside, but not interact. The physical surroundings for individuals have different meanings and influence people in different ways, but it defiantly influences the people we are and the people we grow to become.


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Prompt: “An understanding of our place in the world is not to be found within us, but around us”

Wendell Berry once said, “You can’t know who you are if you don’t know where you are”, this is true in that we discover ourselves in a journey of understanding our roles within society. Where we are, or simply our ‘home’ often dictates our values, beliefs and our perceptions of the surrounding world. Our perception of the landscape is seen through our individual lens, by which gives meaning, both in a positive and negative image to the landscape that we exist within. This view of where we are is completely individual, but can be shaped through cultural, physical and our imagination.
The place in which we are carries significant meanings that tell us a lot about ourselves. Our place of origin, be it in an remote area, a rural country town, the urban cityscape or even the beach side, often forms the basis of our values, our perceptions and our attitudes. We are often brought up in places important to our parents and even our late generations, as children we are imbedded with the morals and expectations that our parents have. It is often that our “home” bears such importance to us that we find it daunting, uncomfortable and difficult to connect to a new landscape. The means and values that are encapsulated by the landscape of home not only plays a large role in understanding our place in the world, but it also tells alot about who we are.

The cultural landscape that surrounds us provides us with a set of expectations that are valued by the community members. The cultural landscape is compromised of class, religion, gender and social expectations. Such landscape is often the starting point of our choices and is an ultimate determinant of who we are. The importance of cultural landscape is seen clearly in Rae Lawrence’s “Jindabyne”. The Aboriginal community in Jindabyne demonstrates the importance of culture in their community. This community has an intense spiritual connection with their physical landscape, and this environment plays the basis for their religion, their beliefs and their interactions with the land. The Aboriginal “Dreamtime” or the stories of their religion is completely wrapped around their environment, their landscape. Their stories tell of how the spirits of the Aboriginal people are born from the landscape and they are re-incarnated back to the environment upon their passing. Their communities are completely involved with their own land. Through this alliance with their own setting, they are able to understand who they are and comprehend their place within their community and gain a sense of belonging to their place. This concept is also seen in MacLeod’s anthology, “Island”, where each individual family’s lives are completely dictated by notions of their ancestors. The culturally accepted lifestyle in Cape Breton involves strict adherent to gender roles. Those in Cape Breton have a common aliment of accepted female and male roles within society. For males, working on the sea or in the mines is what is culturally accepted, and has been for generations. Similarly, the women of Cape Breton lead the life of a housekeeper, child bearer and cook. Our cultures are often constant across many generations, and are left unchanged. Yet, in today’s society, especially in Australia, the diversity of cultures that are found are often intertwined to become the “Australian culture”. Our multicultural and diverse societies have encouraged and accepted change to the younger generations of today.

The physical landscape we per see is merely our individual version of something that is relatively constant. Through our values and attitudes, we imagine the physical landscape to hold  the emotional, deep connections of our lives . Through our interactions with the physical surroundings we can come to understand who we are and where or place is in the world. The physical landscape plays the host to our memories, ones we may be fond of, and others that exert painful reminders of our past. Our experiences within the landscape can change out attitudes about them and how we value and use them. As a young child, I hold many fond memories of family camping trips to Echuca. These trips over the years have shaped my appreciation for nature. As I reflect on the experiences I have shared with the spacious, natural river and accompanying banks abundant in aging gum trees and the red dust that surrounds it, I have come to realise that such as landscape has indefinitely defined my perception if the wilderness as a place of family, recreation and reflection. Through my positive experiences within this landscape I have come to appreciate and nurture our family place and feel great angst towards those who carelessly exploit its natural state. My connection with such place has impacted my values and attitudes towards the outdoor landscape, in a way that allows me to want to protect something that has allowed me such enjoyment over the years. Such experiences define who I am as a person, and where I belong in this world.

If we look around us, we are surrounded by landscapes that ultimately shape who we are, giving us directions in life and memories. Our landscapes that we endure are the basis to all our perceptions, values, beliefs and our interactions. Through the understanding of the places that surround us, we can truly understand our place in the world.



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More available, just need to type them up :)
Title: Re: English Work Examples Directory
Post by: TrueTears on March 26, 2009, 04:31:53 pm
I thought I might contribute a bit :)

Language analysis essay: Issue is Binge drinking.



After the increase in the number of teenage binge drinkers, debate surfaced regarding the amount of authority that parents have over their children. In an article entitled “Kids party, parents get a hangover”, in the 10 March 2008 issue of The Age, Doctor Simon Crisp, clinical adolescent and family psychologist, contends in a cautionary yet informative tone that parents are gradually losing authority over their teenage children resulting in destructive behaviour. Likewise, the editorial, in the 12 March issue of The Age, contends in an informative and at times supportive tone that a coordinated approach, including the co-operation of everyone, will solve the problem of binge drinking. The picture supporting the editorial suggests in a satirical tone that people should not be swayed by alcohol advertisements but rather think for themselves.

The cartoon supporting Crisp’s article is dominated by a large hand holding a bottle of beer which symbolises absolute power. The relative size of the hand implies that it is powerful and strong. In contrast, the parent is much smaller and appears to be having trouble ‘hanging’ on to her teenage child. This hints that the parent is powerless and helpless. The beer bottle is depicted to be sucking the child’s head inside, this shows that the child has no control over alcohol, while the alcohol has total control over him. This also highlights the fact that parents need to have authority over their children and hence protect them from alcohol. The cartoon can also be seen as a “tug-of-war”, where if the parent has sufficient influence and power over their children, then they will gain the upper hand in the ‘battle’ against alcohol. However, if they lack concern and responsibility over their children, then ultimately their children will be ‘sucked’ into alcohol.

The title of Crisp’s article catches our attention straight away. At first glance, the title implies that while children have fun partying, it is the parents who clean up after them. However on closer inspection, we see that the title seeks to separate teenagers from parents and show that when teenagers get drunk, they hold the upper hand while the parents lack authority. As a result, parents will often take the blame and responsibility for anything that goes wrong. This is effective in inducing distress and concern into the audience, especially those who are parents. Crisp then recognizes the need “…for some serious rethinking” and this is directly targeted at politicians, community leaders and policy makers. This is immediately followed by Crisp blaming commercial operators for targeting vulnerable children; again this solidifies Crisp’s sense of authority. By comparing today’s teenagers with earlier generations, older audiences are likely to recall their childhood and compare which generation would be a better place to grown up in. Crisp also emphasizes the need to protect children. By saying “adult tools of business are now seen as essential children’s toys” implies that children could easily be put in danger. In essence, Crisp encourages the audience, especially those who are parents, to protect and look after their children. Fear is instigated in the audience through the use of connotative language “…predators targeting children on the internet”. By saying “the net result is to remove power from parents” creates a sense of distress or even perplexity among the audience. Furthermore, it is likely that Crisp wants parents to start taking action before it is too late. Crisp then start to broaden out his targeted audience to schools and the police. This hints a shift in tone, Crisp controverts in a more supportive and at times sympathetic tone towards the parents. Through strong language Crisp strengthens his argument that parents “need to not just take control at certain times, but have the power to do so.” This encourages not only parents to take action and protect their children, but also anyone who are involved in young people’s lives. By using evidence that alcohol can cause deleterious effects on health, it lends Crisp’s argument weight and also appeals to authority. Seeking to induce fear into the audience, Crisps states that “prolonged used can lead to permanent brain damage.” In a benignant tone, Crisps ends his article by urging society, especially the government, to support parents.

The title of the editorial, “Confronting the demon of under-age alcohol abuse,” seeks to promote fear and apprehension into the audience. The byline is directed at community leaders and families; it can also be seen as a call for action. The editorial begins by providing disturbing evidence and statistics such as, “one in five over-indulging once per week” from the ANCD. This seeks to shock the audience and illustrate how serious the problem is. Furthermore, by providing the evidence from a reliable source lends the argument gravitas hence making it seem incontrovertible in the eyes of the audience. The editorial then supports Kevin Rudd by saying, “The strategy has been welcomed by health and sports groups – as it is by this newspaper.” This implies that anyone who is disagrees with the strategy is against the government. The editorial then shifts its targeted audience towards parents by saying “…binge drinking has become so entrenched with young people that it defines their generation. It is something which parents have little control.” This stresses the need to protect teenage children and audiences, especially parents, would be elicit feelings of fear, concern and even anxiety. In a supportive tone, the editorial praises Rudd’s strategies, “Mr Rudd is right when he says teenage drinking is a question of personal responsibilities.” This encourages the audience to work with the government.

At first glance, one would think the picture supporting the editorial is an advertisement. However, on closer inspection, we realize that the picture is overtly satirical and seeks to mock the advertising strategies of alcohol companies. The choice of certain words such as depressing, phoney and ugly, makes the already sarcastic advertisement even more sardonic. The use of rhetorical questions such as, “Isn’t it time you had a Binge?” indicates that it is directed at the general public, it implies that people should think for themselves and not be fooled by alcohol advertisements. The advertisement not only seeks to criticise the advertisers, but also aims to criticise alcohol as a solution for escapists. By describing politicians as “screwed-up” and “self-serving” shows that it is also directed at politicians and policy makers, it can also be seen as a call for action. The exaggerated picture of a cartoon figure looking totally dazed, mesmerized and dripping saliva depicts the absurdity and fatuity of the advertisement. We also see that cartoon figure is looking at a photo of a “Binge Lager” beer bottle. The purpose of this is to show the audience that there is nothing special about alcohol and instead of being controlled and manipulated by alcohol, people should think for themselves. 

Simon Crisp’s article incorporates a combination of strong and formal language which would most certainly appeal to parents, but may also interest politicians, community leaders and even commercial operators. The editorial utilises statistics and evidence to appeal to community leaders, families and parents. The overtly satirical advertisement
uses humour and sarcasm to critisise the alcohol advertisers while appealing to the general public.
Title: Re: English Work Examples Directory
Post by: Damo17 on March 26, 2009, 05:21:01 pm
Here's some of my essays on Look Both Ways, Context essays on 'The Crucible' and 'The secret river' and the file attachment is some info on Look Both Ways about the characters, like key quotes/scenes descriptions, links to themes, etc. And I've also attached some of my issues analysis and other context essays and LBW essays.

NOTE: These are by no means great essays but hopefully they will help people struggling.

Context essay: Encountering Conflict


“Conflict is an inevitable part of human life that allows us to evaluate our moral character”

Conflict seems to be an inescapable force which has a direct influence on nearly everybody’s life. Whether this conflict is between two individuals or two groups of individuals is still has the same potential to wreak havoc upon lives. In the presence of conflict relationships may be destroyed, fights can be instigated, and lives may even be lost. However, the presence of conflict and its aftermath may also be used to judge one’s moral compass. If dealt with justly and morally the conflict may be resolved but if poor decisions are made based of self-interest and greed the consequences may be devastating.

The presence of conflict usually gives individuals a choice. This choice is usually between a morally good and bad decision and if poor decisions are made repeatedly it is clear that this individual has a poor moral character. These sorts of decisions usually result in horrendous acts being committed only further strengthening the conflict. If conflict stems from a poor decision then it is more likely that another poor decision will be made and the conflict between two parties may get out of hand. In Kate Grenville’s The Secret River William Thornhill makes the immoral decision to take a piece of land which he names Thornhill’s Point despite being warned by Thomas Blackwood not to go there as the Aboriginals are frequent visitors. This decision only creates more conflict between Thornhill and the Aboriginal and even creates conflict between himself and Sal as she is completely unaccustomed and unhappy with her new home. From this situation is it easy to evaluate Thornhill’s moral character as being poor, however, this moral defect is caused by an ambition to create a better life for himself and his family, which shows that he does have some sort of moral guiding but this only applies to anyone he loves.

Conflict may force an individual into a position where they must act righteous in order to stop anymore harm being done. Often this involves that individual making a sacrifice for the greater good. In this situation it becomes very easy to evaluate the moral character of individuals. If one is unwilling to sacrifice something of personal worth for the profit of others then they may be deemed as immoral with a distinct lack of care for others. In Arthur Miller’s The Crucible protagonist John Proctor finds that he must confess to his lechery with Abigail in order to disprove her claims and restore order to Salem. However, Proctor must sacrifice the honour of his name in the process which leads to a very troubling decision he is forced to make. While confessing to his lechery stage directions indicate that his voice “breaks’ and “he has to clamp his jaw to keep from weeping” which shows the immense pain this confession is causing him. Proctor made a severe sacrifice in dishonouring his name in an attempt to save the village from madness and this conflict has enabled us to evaluate how good and true his moral character is.

The clearest place where individual moral characters may be assessed is when conflict occurs between individuals. Conflict may disrupt or completely destroy a relationship and the extent of damage which is caused is heavily dependant on the individuals moral guiding and their ability to make right decisions and also forgive one another. When a dishonest decision created the conflict it becomes harder to forgive which makes it a very good test for an individual’s moral character. When an event such as having an affair on one’s husband or wife occurs, the immediate reaction of many people would be to end the relationship. However, this may be deemed as an immoral decision as any children involved would be heavily burdened by the splitting of parents and it could have a great effect on their psychological well being. In modern times the rate of divorce is becoming shockingly high and it is clear that several immoral decisions have been made in order for this relationship to end.

Conflict may stem from many sources, whether it be from a poor decision or from a decision being forced upon you. When in the presence of conflict only those who make virtuous decisions will be able to resolve the conflict with no negative consequences. Therefore, if the conflict is unresolved or if the consequences of its resolution are as damaging as the original conflict then it can be considered that somebody has acted immorally and has a poor moral character. With the population increasing at an incredible rate and further problems being created between individuals and groups of individuals it is more important than ever to begin acting righteous and having a good and true moral character.

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Look Both Ways

“It doesn’t matter how life ends, it matters how it was”, Joan tells Nick.
Is this the true message of Look Both Ways?


Sarah Watt’s powerful film, Look Both Ways explicates the notion that life must be lived to its full potential if it is going to be “embraced wholeheartedly”. Through the use of Nick’s sudden cancer diagnosis and confused state of mind, Watt illustrates that in order to overcome our inner fears and anxieties we ultimately need to pursue life with a greater sense of hope and optimism. In order to illustrate the precious and even random nature of life and death, Watt contrasts those who die fast -  without any pain - such as Meryl’s father who she describes, “died while watching the cricket”, against those who suffer a slow – painful – death , such as a Nick’s father, Jim. Watts ultimate message is that we inevitably need to make the most of our life and hence, control our inner thoughts and fears so that we “...you know… can stay up… be optimistic”.

Meryl’s dark, murky and sometimes disturbing animations provide us with an insight into her inner monologue. Meryl’s constant obsession and neurotic behaviour about self-annihilation depicts the view that she is inevitably “scared to stupid to do anything” because of her sense of entrapment and belief that “death is everywhere”. Through Meryl, Watt tries to exemplify that sometimes our inner fears can be more destructive than reality itself and hence, we need to stop preoccupying our thoughts with death, but more, start making the most out of our life and focus on the positive aspects.

Nicks cancer diagnosis is a sudden event that turns his life upside down. He is left “speculating” his survival and hence, his cold and composed response to the doctors’ negative report illustrates the way in which he is left searching for causes and ultimate consequences of his past actions. He is faced with his own mortality and as a result, attempts to tackle some of life’s bigger questions – including issues surrounding spirituality and fate. His diagnosis causes him extreme psychological and emotional pain and he is left pondering on his future existence. It is not until his fiery conversation with his very own mother that he realises that “it doesn’t matter how life ends, it matters how it was”. Joan is astutely and ironically telling her very own son, whom she does not know has cancer, that we as ‘humans’ need to inevitably “look both ways” at life and focus on all our past positive experiences.

Julia suffers the hardest loss of all; yet, she is able to accept the reality of Rob’s death and attempt to pursue the future with hope and optimism. Nicks “great photo”, in which captures the moment Julia realises her partner is dead, enables Watt to explicate the extreme and horrific reactions of those who suddenly and horrifically lose a loved one. Over the course of the “scorching hot weekend” we are able to see Julia’s stunned inaction in her inability to carry out tasks such as choosing a coffin and writing a death notice. However, her discovery of Meryl’s makeshift tomb enables Julia to realise she needs not dread on the negatives but now, start ‘constructing’ and focusing on the positive aspects of her late husbands life.

Nicks cancer news not only negatively affects his own life, but it positively affects Phil’s. Phil, whom originally unable to provide meaningful support to Nick, realises that he needs to make the most of his life as a result of coming extremely close to the killer disease. He reassesses his priorities and we are able to see his complete pride and excitement at his news that “I’ve given up smoking”. Nicks cancer diagnosis enabled Phil to rediscover his own self and hence, he flourishes his wife, Miriam and children with renewed love and affection. Nick, Meryl and Phil all have come to realise that you need to make the most of your life before it inevitably comes after you. 

Anna is a clever device used by Watt in attempting to dictate the view that the tragic events in life are “meant to happen”. She is able to shake Andy out of his belief that “everyone has an agenda” by pragmatically claiming, “Things just happen”. This underlying ‘message’ attempts to alleviate and compliment with all of the characters inner thoughts and beliefs. Watt claims that even though things appear pre-determined – they are random. It is the way in which individuals cope with them that matters the most. Hence, she illustrates the notion that we need to overcome our obsession with death and start focusing on the future.

Watts’s film is a positive affirmation about life. Joan’s ideology that “it doesn’t matter how life ends” reminds us that we inevitably need to “matter how life was” and hence, focus on the optimistic and positive side of life, inevitably leaving behind all the “awful shit in the world”.
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Look Both Ways shows us that in order to move forward in our lives, we must let go of the past. To what extent do you agree?

Sarah Watt’s multi strand narrative Look Both Ways is a film that presents trauma, loss and lack of control as we see the characters grapple with unexpected twists as they learn that uncertainty is an element they cannot control. The characters develop throughout the film as they are constantly challenged by life. It is when they come to the hurtling realisation that although life is best understood backwards it must be lived forwards that acts as the catalyst for change and happiness in their lives.

When Julia emerges into the light of day from the darkness and shadows of her dwelling, it reveals she is coming to terms with the loss of her husband. Julia although still in mourning is reignited with some vestige of life as the contrast of darkness and light symbolises she has seen the glimmer of ‘light’ at the end of the tunnel. While Julia has yet to let go of the past entirely, she is beginning to live forward. It is when she destroys Meryl’s memorial of her husband in frustration, and replaces it with her own that acts as a catalyst for change in her life. Her memorial represents her love for her husband and also provides closure and a chance for her to live in advance and not retrospectively.

The train driver ravaged with suffering believes he is the causation of Julia’s husband’s death. Although we do not see him verbally communicate his emotions until later in the film, his facial expressions reflect a broken and traumatised man. The death relentlessly plays at his heart and mind. This is reflected when we see him working on the mechanics of his motorcycle, he sees his sons fiery cross skull shirt that carries the connotations of “death” and despair. Death is haunting every facet of his existence as he is constantly reminded of the past event. However, towards the end of the film we see him put behind his trauma and suffering as Julia emotionally says “it’s not your fault”. It is these words that heal the train driver’s brokenness and releases his burdened soul.

When Nick is given the diagnosis of testicular cancer he is insistent that his life will be taken by the same disease that took his fathers life. When Nick asks “what are my chances?” the doctor has his back against him, a sign of the isolation he will encounter with cancer. Nick’s sudden fatalistic view on life is seen when he stares at himself in the mirror after checking for cancer in the shower. This maybe interpreted as Nick is having an honest look at himself and reflecting how to move forward in life, or on a higher level it may be perceived as a symbol of imagination and truth. The truth being cancer has not taken his life and the x-rays only reveal a scientific truth not an absolute truth where he should be “speculating” his death. Conversely, Nick imagines the cancer will triumph over his body and cause his demise. However, it is the child in the wheelchair that creates an enigmatic smile across Nick that breaks him out of his introspective world. He realises that he must not live in fear over his cancer but move forward in life and defeat the disease before it defeats him.

Look Both Ways presents the issue that although life may be best understood backwards it is best lived forwards. Life must be lived in the present with the future always in mind and through the characters of Nick, Julia and the Train Driver the film demonstrates this way of life. The characters learn that you cannot change the past but you can create a better future, they learn to ‘look both ways’ at living.

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‘Nick and Meryl come together only out of their fears of loneliness and death’. Discuss.


Sarah Watts much awarded film Look Both Ways explicates the notion that when two human beings share similar views and feelings they will ultimately be synchronistically attracted. Nick and Meryl are both characters who have encountered similar personal tragedies; they both have recently lost their father and both been the ‘victim’ of life changing events – Nicks being his cancer diagnosis and Meryl’s being Robs “ghastly” death. Both are lonely and in need of love and affection; it is their very different lifestyle, yet, similar feelings and inner suffering that ultimately bring them together. It is this ‘random’ coincidence that inevitably transforms them both from being a victim of their fears, into a survivor, pursuing life with renewed hope and optimism.

Nick is a character whose ‘ordered’ and ‘systematic’ lifestyle approach has suddenly taken a halt as a result of his recent cancer diagnosis. His inner suffering and complete shock at the doctors negative report is exacerbated by the doctor’s lack of information and empathy. Nicks fast-moving inner monologue is expressed in the form of photomontages and hence, Watt depicts the old cliché that a person’s life will flash before their eyes at the point of death. Nick is somewhat of a loner, who we learn only recently came back to his home town as a result of his fathers’ death. Therefore, his sudden meeting with Meryl at the site of Rob’s death comes at a time whereby both characters are searching for self-awareness and discovery. Nick instinctively “follows” Meryl home, illustrating the opinion that he is striving for affection and comfort. Their open-style conversation, in which spreads from being about Meryl’s “fathers funeral” to her “star sign” and to her fatalistic view that “maybe the right thing happens” illustrate their close bond and tight relationship – one that appears to be on the brink of true love and long lasting romance.     

Nick and Meryl’s first real connection is not until they both share the news of “seeing death everywhere”. As he glances into one of Meryl’s ‘cathartic’ paintings, Nick quickly notes, “I’ve been seeing death everywhere this weekend” and in complete response, Meryl confesses, “I do too, I see it happening all the time”. The close similarity that they both share - simultaneously - enables both of them to share their suffering together. Their ultimate fear of death and their close relational bond acts as a clear device that draws the two together.

Meryl’s lifestyle is in complete contrast to Nicks. She lives in a converted warehouse whereby her living space is full of clothes, paintings and other obstacles. It could even be said that her untidiness is symbolic of her disjointed state of mind. However, Nick’s apartment is clean, fresh and ordered. By contrasting the couples living arrangements we are able to clearly see that their bond was merely not strengthened as a result of their appearance and personality but more, because they both have experienced similar tragic events. Nicks ability to see past Meryl’s untidiness and dull “artist poverty” lifestyle, remises his powerful strive for a close relationship with a woman he has barely met.

Moreover, their desire and psychological need to have each other in their life is clearly evident during their argument on Sunday afternoon. Nick’s inability to tell Meryl that he has cancer inevitably leaves her thinking that he is “giving her the flick”. She compassionately cries, “Why is it so shallow to want somebody to like you?” Nicks response to Meryl’s outcry leaves her with no option but to run away. However, the purifying and ‘symbolic’ rain at the films denouement acts as a soothing wake-up call for Meryl and one that alerts her that she needs Nick in her life. Their heart warming reconciliation at the end of the film illustrates their connection in pursuing life as one united couple. Despite the fact that Meryl, a lady who is so overcome by death and the fear of self-annihilation, is now very much in a relationship with a man who has just told her he has cancer is complimentary to her strong lust for affection and love.

Although the film centers on death, Watt’s film is a positive affirmation about life.  She maintains a clear message that despite all the negativity in the world, we need to reunite with our loved ones so that we can pursue our fears with renewed hope and optimism. Meryl and Nick’s connection and strong bond is a clear example of the need for connection and warmth as a result of experiencing similar tragedy and despair.

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Title: Re: English Work Examples Directory
Post by: TrueTears on March 29, 2009, 12:54:43 pm
Another 2 language analysis pieces.

1st issue: graffiti



After the defacing of the walls of Patrick Berger’s East Park café, debate surfaced regarding the impact of graffiti on communities. The editorial, in the 16 July issue of The Daily Tribute, contends in an emotional and didactic tone that local governments and councils should be supporting prideful citizens and adjudge graffiti as vandalism. In contrast, the letter by Michaela Whitehouse, a representative of the East Park Council, controverts in a scathing yet conciliatory tone that certain places should be dedicated for graffiti and solidly defends the council’s position by addressing several inaccuracies in the editorial.

The title of the editorial catches our attention straight away. It establishes a sense of moral values and appeals to ethos. The “good” in the title refers to the ‘self-respecting’ citizens; the “bad” refers to the graffiti artists and the “ugly” refers to graffiti itself. This serves to separate the principled and upright members of society from the graffiti artists, thereby portraying them as reckless, damaging members of the community. Readers, wanting to appear to be conforming, law-abiding citizens, are likely to distance themselves from the actions of the graffiti artists. The demoralizing effects of graffiti are strengthened by the accompanying picture. The picture is dominated by disfigured tags and a suspicious looking man riding on a bicycle. This indicates a lack of consideration for the owners of the defaced wall. The ‘artistic’ elements of the graffiti are obscure and this suggests to the reader that the graffiti artists are not interested in how people perceive their work; hence they will continue to vandalize other properties at their own consent. Readers are likely to voice their protest against these artists to allay their fears of their own property being vandalized.

The opening paragraph utilizes emotive imagery and strong language to contrast between the irresponsible graffiti artists and the hardworking owners of the café. By labeling the graffiti artists as “thugs” who “desecrated the freshly painted walls” arouses feelings of anger and enmity towards the graffiti artists. This is further enhanced and supported by comments from the locals. In contrast, sympathy is expected for the Bergers through anecdotes, “…his heavily pregnant wife spent the majority of one day…restoring the wall”. The reader also realizes that the Bergers are very earnest, “…diligently kept up with their repayments”. This serves to appeal to pathos and conjures up a sense commiseration for the Bergers. The editorial then attacks the East Park Council. Through the use of hyperbole, “…dragging its heels”, the editorial diminishes the role of the council. This is effective in illustrating the council’s lack of concern regarding its responsibilities. The council is portrayed to be carefree as it “refused to offer any support”. The piece concludes by combining an attack on the graffiti artists and the council. This leaves the reader sharing the editorial’s solid and firm point of view.

Whitehouse responds on behave of the East Park Council in a cogent and rational letter to the editor. She directly opens up her letter by dismissing the editorial assessment of the issue and candidly says that she will address some of the editorial’s “less enlightened remarks.” This straight away lends Whitehouse a sense of authority and provides her following argument with strength. She then uses a pertinent and well-grounded argument by saying “… have no legal recourse to council assistance for maintenance” and “Our budget is only just able to cover the claims of hundreds of leaseholders.” This is a direct appeal to logic and it is an effective way of grabbing the attention of leaseholders and householders. Whitehouse then uses two rhetorical questions which allow the audience to critically analysis the issue. It also implies that the answer is obvious and anyone who disagrees would be foolish. The effect of this is also strengthened by the fact that Whitehouse uses these rhetorical questions immediately after her logical argument, hence we can expect that many people would have no choice but to share the same viewpoint as her.

Whitehouse then criticizes the editorial in a scathing yet scrupulous tone. She undervalues the editorial by completely discarding their remarks about the council “dragging their heels.” Again this lends her a sense of authority and it shows to the audience that she is well-informed and cognizant of her position. She then addresses the issue of graffiti in a benevolent and sapient fashion. She uses inclusive language so that the audience is not alienated and it creates a sense of solidarity. Also by saying that “… with the aim of providing public spaces dedicated to the expression of this skill” shows that she is not against graffiti in any way. It also illustrates that she is aware of both sides of the situation and instead of completely dismissing the other side; she tries to find a mutual solution. This is effective in encouraging most of the audience to share this legitimate and sensible stance.

The editorial mainly uses strong language, emotive imagery and appeals to communal values to consolidate its point of view. This would likely appeal to an audience which does not welcome graffiti. Whitehouse’s letter presents the audience with a logical and coherent argument. As a result of her balanced and reasonable approach, she is likely to persuade and gain the support of forbearing readers and even some graffiti artists themselves.



2nd issue: Bill Henson



After the withdrawal of a number of works from the Bill Henson exhibition at the Roslyn Oxley9 gallery, debate surfaced regarding the morality of Henson’s art. In an opinion piece, ‘Bill Henson and his art pushes our limits’, in the 26 May, 2008 issue of the Herald Sun, Jill Singer contends in an unequivocal tone that the Bill Henson’s photographs pushes the boundaries of legality and moral comfort, as a result the safety of children’s well-being is put at risk. In contrast, in a letter by Alison Croggon, a Creative Australia 2020 summit representative, controverts in a forthright and earnest tone that Bill Henson’s work is in no way affiliated with the abuse of children.

The title of the opinion piece, “Bill Henson and his art pushes our limits,” immediately implies that Bill Henson’s ‘art’ is treading dangerous territory. The use of inclusive language, ‘our limits’, implies Henson’s photographs are offensive to everyone. The piece begins with a short anecdote which serves to personalize the issue. This makes it more accessible for the audience and it refocuses the issue to the audiences’ own domestic setting. A sense of authority and complexity is developed when we realize that Singer and her friend ‘know Bill Henson’. Singer seeks to raise unease and distress among the audience by using emotive and evocative imagery. “Her hands are draped in front of her genitals, her tiny breasts are bare.” This draws the audience’s attention to how exposed the girl is hence creating discomfort. Further use of anecdotes such as “I remember taking a photograph of my six-year-old daughter…but I’d never make it public” serves to undermine Henson’s ‘art’ and hints that his photographs are actually encouraging child exploitation. Parents reading this may agree with Singer’s reasonable stance. Heavy emphasize is placed on the protection of children by appealing to fear, “There are too many nut cases out there.” Audiences, especially parents, are encouraged to look after their children. In an almost mocking tone, Singer suggests Bill Henson ‘could easily maintain his particular aesthetic within the bounds of the law by finding slightly older subjects.’ This belittles his artwork and as a result, audiences are more convinced of Singer’s contention. A combination of inclusive and formal language is used as a call for action, “We have a duty to protect children from exploitation.” This implies that the people who do not protect children are irresponsible. Furthermore, not only does this create a sense of solidarity and responsibility within the audience but it also ensures that the majority of the readership is not alienated.

Conversely, the letter by Alison Croggon, solidly defends Bill Henson, by stressing that his work is not associated with pornography. In a measured tone, Croggon urges political leaders such as Kevin Rudd and NSW’s Premier to rethink their comments about Henson. By accentuating the position of Bill Henson as a respected and well-known artist, Croggon seeks to encourage the reader to change their opinion of Henson. Croggon aims to gain the support of the audience by saying “Mr Henson’s work has attracted more than 115,000 people and produced not one complaint of obscenity.” This also implies that the majority of people supports Henson rather than oppose him. As a result, readers who oppose Croggon are actually opposing the majority, hence leading them to question their own opinions about Henson’s art. Croggon indirectly disproves possible counterarguments by saying “His work has also been studied widely in schools for many years.” This suggests that Bill Henson’s art is worthy of study and implies that those against it are opposing the education system. Croggon seeks to gain respect for Henson by appealing to authority. “Mr Henson has been photographing young models for more than 15 years.” His experience further lends him credibility in the eyes of the audience; hence readers who were once against Henson might be inclined to change their perspective of him. Croggon appeals to history that “nude in art stretches back to the ancient Greeks.” This implies that readers who are against Henson’s art are actually disproving the history of art. Croggon attempts to establish a difference between pornography and Bill Henson’s art, “The intention of the art is to make the viewer consider the fragility, beauty…of the human body.” Readers are now likely to view Henson’s art with a different attitude. The issue is broadened out when Croggon says “This action will encourage a repressive climate of hysterical condemnation.” This is intended to alarm the readers, suggesting that those who approve Bill Henson being charged are the ones who are actually being hysterical.

The opinion piece by Jill Singer mainly uses emotive language and anecdotes to consolidate its point of view. It also appeals to parents, especially those who have young children. Croggon’s letter presents the audience with a solid argument mainly directed at policy makers and politicians. Her balanced approach is effective in conveying to the audience her contention.

Title: Re: English Work Examples Directory
Post by: Toothpaste on March 29, 2009, 01:18:14 pm
I think (can't remember whether this was a SAC or not) this was an experiment on three separate texts and by no means is it the 'right' way to write.
Style: hybrid expository-persuasive ...

Context: Exploring Issues of Identity and Belonging

Prompt: Without close and supportive relationships, we can often feel isolated.

The feeling of isolation directly detaches an individual from the winsome pursuit of a stable self-esteem. The absence of support from family and friends inhibits the qualities of human compassion that a person would otherwise develop to possess. Maslow’s ‘Hierarchy of Needs’ depicts that after physiological and safety needs are satisfied, the need for belonging must be evident in order for a personal self-esteem to be acquired. Our identity constitutes of a shifting phase of learning about self belonging, but we can only successfully grasp the concepts through an ongoing supportive relationship with others. Whether these relationships are with members of our family or people who we consider friends – the helping hand they lend us through times of need assists in the shaping of our character and prevent a feeling of isolation from taking over our mentality.

The nature of isolation holds no benefits for the individual. The lack of close relationships disallows an individual to view life in a positive manner. In Peter Weir’s film “Witness”, John Book only held a close and personal relationship with his sister, Elaine, before he met Rachael. He was obsessed with his job and had let it take over his life. This is evident when Elaine tells him to get married and have children ‘instead of trying to be a father of [hers]’. Having a lack of close relations meant that he was feeling isolated but he chose to avert his attention to his job instead. When Book develops a personal bond with Rachael, he starts to appreciate himself – he was finally coming out of his isolated shell. The experiences Book salvaged from living with the Amish eventually allowed him to break free from the isolated state of mind he had been enclosed in.

Furthermore, John Book was isolated from both the police force and the Amish community due to the lack of relations he held with them both. He had lost his connection with the police force when he learnt that it was riddled with the corruption he worked to suppress. He does not fit in with the ever-so plain Amish community, due to the modern city lifestyle he was used to. His relationship with Rachael was still forming its linkages when he first stepped foot onto the Amish country. He realised that his link to both of these groups was weak, and thus felt an excluding sense of solitude. We would feel like an outsider when we have no one that we can relate to. Our sense of identity and of personal security can be strengthened by our ties to those we care for.

The impulse to belong is significantly strong for each and every person. Human company takes away the unideal sense of exclusion – and thus the removal of isolation. Bruce Dawes’s poem “Up the Wall” tells the story of an isolated housewife who feels ‘so alone’ and imprisoned. She was disconnected from sources of support and consolation due to the neighbourhood being ‘too quiet’. Her husband does not understand his wife’s feelings – showing that the communication needed to foster a sense of belonging was painfully absent. Living in a world without people to depend on would be uncomfortable for the individual involved. The lack of understanding between people in a relationship also brings about a sense of desolation.

Our sense of self and developing personalities are easily affected through self-discoveries and experiences, where we gain broader knowledge of an ever-changing world. Our lives are, of course, deeply centred on ourselves. In J.D. Salinger’s “The Catcher in the Rye”, Holden Caulfield finds difficulty settling in at ‘Pencey Prep’ because of his refusal to adapt to the expectations of society. He had no desire to hold affiliation with any of the “dirty little goddam cliques” in his school. This is a sign of his preference to solitude due to a lack of close relationship with people he perceives as “phonies”. The opting out of having bonds with others subsequently diminishes the dependence we need to feel in order to minimise implications.  The lack of supportive and stable companionships proves lethal for individual’s train of thought.

Likewise, the relationships formed with family members primarily determine who we become. We construct a sense of ourselves through social interaction from an early age. We are exposed to their various ideas, characteristics and knowledge – allowing us to see the human qualities we ‘should’ uphold in society. They set the examples for us to follow and we subconsciously adapt to share similar lifestyles and ideals. Though there are times at which we feel the need to rebel against them; usually in the teenage years. We are taught through a family to accept roles and responsibilities while belonging in a group. Communication skills develop through social interactions and the ability to think for oneself flourishes.

The exposure to certain family values and experiences is bound to vary from one individual to the next, thus the direction someone may choose to take in shaping their identity will be unique for them. In Bruce Dawe’s poem, ‘Kid’s Stuff’, we are presented with a positive picture of his family, even though they were on the borders of poverty. He includes moments of childhood reflection to indicate how his older brother contributed to the shaping of his identity. Dawe describes his brother as “A moral god … chasing [him] for chastisement” and his admiration for his big brother is evident when he recognises that “I could never out-run [him], never!” Families ideally provide love, protection and the opportunity to find out who we are. However, not all families are stable and supportive, thus conflicts may merge out from this lack of close relations. In the case that conflict arises with people who are close to us, we tend to resort to blaming ourselves for certain flaws in our trait. Some people isolate themselves from social interactions and in turn, allow themselves to be excluded from the world around them. This has an adverse effect on the mentality and awareness of the individual – the most likely outcome would be self resentment. If fortunate, these conflicts can be resolved and the tension of the situation can be assuaged.

If rejected and excluded from a family or friendship environment, our mindset will halt – disallowing advancement of a growing self-esteem. If someone were to be starved of affection and unconditional love they would struggle to appreciate themselves and would most likely have a skewed perspective on life. Family and friends are of ultimate importance to guide us through the task of growing up since they assist us in seeking out who we are – our identity.

The relationships formed with our close family and friends allow us to feel accepted and therefore influence how we perceive ourselves. Our sense of self-worth originates from the linkages we form with people dear to us. A sense of seclusion comes from this deficiency – so to maintain stability in our mindset, we have to establish close bonds with other people.
Title: Re: English Work Examples Directory
Post by: shinny on April 28, 2009, 10:44:58 am
Author: Matt the Rat (couldn't merge his post in here due to technical difficulties)

‘The Kite Runner shows that cultural values have the power to overcome the values held by the individual.’ Discuss.

Khaled Hosseini’s bildungsroman tale ‘The Kite Runner’ evidently shows the overwhelming powers which cultural values may have, and their strength to overcome the individual values held by a person. With the fictional memoir centred on Amir’s “past of unatoned sins”, ‘The Kite Runner’ demonstrates how cultural views may sway the true nature of an individual’s values. From recounting Hassan’s horrific rape and Amir’s ensuing guilt to the subsequent exile of Hassan and Ali, the vast influence of cultural values clearly shows its preferential social status to that of an individual’s values. The key patriarchal figure of the story, Baba, also illustrates how cultural values are often overwhelming in comparison to individual morals. Overall, the novel demonstrates how through its tumultuous time Afghanistan had succumbed to the evil status where cultural values overrode the importance of an individual’s beliefs.

The protagonist characters of Amir and Hassan, brothers with whom “a kinship exists that not even time could break”, allow the overall whelming power of cultural values over individual values to be seen. The defining event of ‘The Kite Runner’, Hassan’s merciless rape by Assef, gives rise to sequential scenarios in which the true power of cultural Afghan values surpasses that of an individual. The subservient attitude of those to their elders, “maybe Hassan was the price I had to pay, the lamb I had to slay, to win Baba”, clearly illustrates the damaging power of cultural values surpassing that of an individual’s. Amir’s relentless search for gratification from Baba leads him to sacrifice his childhood friend and in doing so destroy a part of his childhood. Springing forth from this conflict arises the self-imposed banishment of Ali and Hassan from Baba’s household. By adhering to the social standards of the time, both Ali and Hassan kept their servant status and protected the truth surrounding Amir’s guilt. In a society where a person’s “nang and namoos” defined them, both were able to once again allow their masters to supersede them. Just as Ali had done for all the years regarding Baba’s infidelity, Hassan also buried the truth and saved his friend. “He knew I betrayed him and yet he was rescuing me once again, maybe for the last time”. The childhood characters of Amir and Hassan both clearly illustrate the dominating power of cultural values over that of an individual.

The true father to both Amir and Hassan, Baba, also clearly illustrates the overwhelming drive of cultural values over personal morals. Baba, “a towering Pashtun specimen”, was known for his great philanthropic ways around the “not just the Wazir Akbar Khan neighbourhood, but all of Kabul” yet truly he hid away the darkest of secrets. Having been “tempted in seduction” by Sanubar and consequently fathering Hassan, Baba was forced to live the remainder of his life with a façade covering who he truly was. Despite having clearly told Amir to “piss on the beards of the self-righteous monkeys [mullahs]”, a grand defiance of Islam in a nation defined by Shari’ a law, and almost sacrificing his life to stop the rape of a travelling woman, Baba was not able to defy the highest of social standards and hence allowed the cultural values to power over his own. His altruistic actions were a mere smokescreen to hide his true motives regarding his deep lying guilt. The actions of Baba clearly show the defiant power of cultural values over that of an individual.

The actions of many characters in  ‘The Kite Runner’ personify the state of affairs present in Afghanistan throughout that era. Following the “bloodless coup”, which overthrew the King Zahir Shah monarchy, Afghanistan undertook revolutionary changes which would forever alter the path of the nation. Individuals and individuality became lost in a sea of turbulent and radical extremes which resulted in blind obedience and silenced opposition to the emerging Taliban regime. The ‘Hazara massacre in Mazar-i-Sharif” where “bullets let fly, free of guilt and remorse… knowing you are doing God’s work” showed the power the dictatorial Taliban establishment had developed, and by doing so crushed the values of individual citizens. Complete observance and adherence to Shari’a law, with the Taliban being its violent, non-flinching enforcer, stripped bare the rights and freedoms previously held under the monarch. Afghanistan evolved from a country which tolerated “drinking was fairly common in Kabul”, yet defiant of Islamic laws, to a dictatorship ruled in fear by “a word for which a good Farsi equivalent does not exist; sociopath”. The violent oppression, which coupled the cultural values of the ruling power, clearly displaced the freedom of individually held values and notions. Clear parallels also exist between the “blond, blue eyed” Assef and the tyrannical Nazi dictator Hitler. Being a clear mimic of Hitler’s ‘Final Solution’, Assef shows how oppression of the Afghan people mirrors that wrought by the fascist leader of world war two. Both led parties in which cultural and social doctrine overran that of an individual. The ‘The Kite Runner’'s description of Afghanistan clearly portrays that of a nation which has fallen to the evils where social values overpower that of an individual.

Hosseini’s ‘The Kite Runner’ shows, through a multitude of avenues, examples of how cultural values have the power to overcome those of an individual. The major protagonists of the story; Baba, Amir and Hassan, all illustrate the relative effects of the dictating cultural values and how they acted to blur their individual values. Through his use of characters, Hosseini also showed how Afghanistan had fallen into the pitfalls of such a nation in which cultural values blindly ruled over an individual’s.
Title: Re: English Work Examples Directory
Post by: lynt.br on November 14, 2009, 11:50:22 pm
Just dumping out some stuff I found on my hard drive now exams are over. Both for Identity and Belonging and both in expository format.

I haven't been bothered to proofread them recently to check for stupid spelling or grammar so there may be some syntax errors beyond what spell-check picked up.

This essay achieved a 49/50 for a SAC:
Quote
Belonging is a basic need and we all need to belong in some way.

The need to belong is an intrinsic motivation in all humans to feel accepted and valued by others through sustained, meaningful connections that validate our role in society. A sense of being anchored in our community is an essential requirement to define both who we are and how we are perceived by others. In order to attain this sense of social integration, we attempt to affiliate ourselves with groups we believe share mutual values and ideologies which reaffirms our own identity and role in society in the process. Yet the desire to belong requires more than just mere participation in social circles, necessitating substantial connections with those within it to attain a sense of true acceptance. If we fail to achieve this fundamental necessity, we feel isolated from a world that we contribute and share nothing with and lose the sense of direction that defined social roles provide. Thus, it is imperative that as humans we seek out meaningful and sustainable relationships with others that transcend mere familiarity or acquaintance, for if this crucial aspect in our lives is neglected, we lose all semblance of our identity and place in society.

A sense of acceptance from our peers is a basic human requirement that reaffirms our existence. Regarded by psychologist Abraham Maslow as one of the five essential human requirements, a sense of belonging and love from our peers must be satisfied before we can reach the stage of self-actualization – where we contemplate our own purposes, capabilities and potential. According to Maslow’s renowned ‘Hierarchy of Needs’, after the requirements of survival are fulfilled, such as food, shelter and security, we must then attain a sense of acceptance from either friends, peers or colleagues in order to develop self-esteem and judge our ‘worth’ as an individual. Only when we believe we are an integral part of the society to which we belong can the other basic needs of humanity, such as determining our identity, be addressed. It is thus a crucial need that as individuals we are able to assimilate into society in a harmonious manner. This need to belong is clearly explicated in Peter Weir’s portrayal of the Amish in his acclaimed film ‘Witness’. Weir depicts the Amish as a tight-knit society where each individual is defined by their presence and purpose in the greater community. To the Amish, belonging to their society is the life-thread of an individual’s existence. So crucial is this human requirement that being ostracised from the Amish community through shunning is considered a fate worse than death, where the individual loses all ties with their family, their peers and their God. The reverence the Amish place on a sense of belonging clearly illustrates its importance as a basic human need. Failure to fulfill this necessity leaves us metaphorically ‘dead’ as without any ties to the real world, our existence becomes futile and meaningless. Therefore to avoid becoming both emotionally and spiritually barren, it is imperative that we are able to satisfy this basic need to belong through a sense of acceptance in society.

French Poet Arthur Rimbauds famous musing “I Is Another” succinctly explicates the inherent human desire to belong to a greater identity. To satiate this desire, we attempt to affiliate ourselves with groups that not only share our values and beliefs but also value and respect the contribution our presence makes to the group. This sense of acceptance can be as simple as a loving family relationship, a strong sense of belonging to a social clique or stereotype or through strong ties with ones community. The portrayal of the Amish in ‘Witness’ is one such example of how a communal society that acts as a single entity can fulfill the individual requirements for belonging through delegated social roles. The noteworthy barn raising scene clearly illustrates how each member of the Amish community plays a part in the barn’s construction; the men perform  the woodwork and heavy labour, the women prepare the food and the children nail in the covering boards. Every member of society plays a part in the completion of a common goal and thus no one is left feeling isolated or redundant. Belonging to a social group replicates this notion. When we submit ourselves to a group’s collective identity, we implicitly agree to comply with their norms and expected behaviourisms, thus defining our social identity. While this may require compromises to our personal identity, our need to belong is ultimately fulfilled through clearly defined role in society.

 It is however, important to recognise that a sense of belonging can only be achieved through meaningful connections with our social group. While there will always be discrepancies between an individual and their group’s identity, complete misalignment between the two will have the same isolating effect as social solitude.  The character of John Book as portrayed in ‘Witness’ demonstrates how assimilation into a group differs from true belonging. While Book is tenuously accepted in the Amish society, the lack of any sustainable connection between his identity and that of the Amish as symbolised in his misfitting clothing invariably leaves his desire to find a place of acceptance unfulfilled. To avoid suffering Book’s predicament, it is crucial that the connections we make are substantial, rather than superficial. Therefore, to feel as though we ‘belong’ requires more than merely being part of a social group but an actual relationship with those around us. If we cannot establish the need for meaningful connections with our peers then we are left feel isolated and alone in a society we cannot relate with.

Failure to fulfill the basic human requirement of belonging leaves us isolated, alone and spiritually disoriented. When we lack the distinct social roles that a sense of belonging provides, we feel we contribute nothing to the world and that we cannot relate with others. The adverse effects of failing to ‘belong’ were reaffirmed by studies from psychologists Gotlib and Hammen who identified a clear correlation between a lack of healthy relationships and depression, reaffirming the notion that without a sense of belonging, we enter a state of spiritual and emotional inanition. If we are unable to fulfill Maslow’s requirement for belonging, then we cannot address his defined ‘higher needs’ of esteem self actualization, meaning our ability to contemplate our own identity is stunted.  Holden Caulfield, narrator of J.D Salinger’s famous novel ‘Catcher in the Rye’, is a prime example of someone who is unable to engage with his society, leaving his mind in a state of psychological tumult. Holden’s numerous failed attempts at connecting socially cause him to erratically shift character as he moves in and out of the various identities comprised in his psyche. Without the clearly defined rules and expectations that a sense of belonging provide, Holden’s mind lacks orchestration and cohesion, leaving his identity in a fragmented state. Reality parallels Salinger’s work of fiction. When we fail to fulfill the base human requirement of belonging, we lack the rules and expectations of a defined social role which inhibits our ability to identify who we are in the world. The need to belong is therefore an essential requirement that, if left unsatisfied, renders us socially and spiritually disoriented and alone.

As human beings we each require a sense of acceptance and place in society to validate who and what we are.  Belonging is an intrinsic human requirement. It helps us define ourselves through our social roles as well as refine of our ideals and values. If we fail to attain a sense of belonging, we are left emotionally desolate and become isolated from society. Thus, to avoid feeling alone, we rely on the acceptance and recognition of our family, peers and friends to reaffirm our own identity. As the late author, professor and contemporary philosopher Leo Buscaglia once said, “We need others. We need others to love and we need to be loved by them. There is no doubt that without it, we too, like the infant left alone, would cease to grow, cease to develop, choose madness and even death.”

 
Written Explanation:
For my sustained piece, I have chosen to draw on ideas encapsulated within this context study to explore the notion that a sense of belonging is a fundamental necessity for human existence and that without a feeling of acceptance, our lives become directionless. To fully explore this concept in its complexity, I’ve attempted to address the prompt in three main parts; is a sense of belonging a ‘basic need’? What are the ways we feel we belong and what happens if we fail to integrate into society? By addressing each of these key questions throughout my piece, I suggest that belonging is an essential human requirement as it reaffirms our existence in this world. I go on to explain that to fulfill this requirement, we seek out social groups that define our place in the world, however these groups need to accurately reflect our ideals and beliefs for us to truly belong. By looking at exceptional cases, I explore the effects that isolation and a failure to belong have on individuals, such as emotional and spiritual inanition, depression, isolation and confusion surrounding one’s identity.

I have drawn many of my ideas from those expressed in Peter Weir’s film ‘Witness’ and J.D Salinger’s novel ‘The Catcher in the Rye’, with particular focus on the benefits of a cohesive society in the former and the effects of social solitude in the latter. To gives my ideas credence, I have utilized the works of renowned psychologists such as Abraham Maslow, whose ‘Hierarchy of Needs’ theory states belonging as one of the five essential requirements for human existence. I have also drawn on the works of psychologists Ian Gotlib and Constance Habben to establish the connection that weak social relationships have with feelings of depression and isolation.

I am writing primarily for an educated yet general audience. The ideas explored are applicable to most readers and while a number of references to aforementioned psychological concepts or studies are made, I’ve attempted to explain or integrate them in such a manner that reader inference is not required to deduce the intended message. To reflect my intended audience, I’ve chosen to write in an essay format in the expository form, maintaining a formal tone and authorial voice to add substantiality to my writing.

To maintain a formal register in my writing, I have adhered to the conventions of standard essay writing, including clear topic paragraphs that address the prompt in a logical and sequential order. Finally, I have avoided the use of first person pronouns, instead choosing to use collective, inclusive pronouns such as ‘we’ and ‘us’  to emphasise that the ideas explored in my piece apply to humanity as a whole and not just particular individuals.



This essay was given a 9/10 by an examiner (I personally despised it and was quite surprised with the score):
Quote
‘Belonging strengthens identity, rather than challenging it.’

   As human beings, it is engrained in our psyche to seek out the acceptance of others because we are aware of its potential benefits, particularly as it allows greater level of self expression. When we are disconnected from others, we tend to view our own ideals and values unfavourably because they are ‘different’ from the rest of society. Conversely, when we feel we belong to a group that shares mutual beliefs and ideals, we feel more confident in expressing ourselves because our views appear ‘normal’. Another benefit of belonging to a group is that it helps to define the expected boundaries of our character through our assigned social role. This helps to strengthen our own sense of self because these social rules outline our liberties and limits in a social context. To gain a sense of acceptance, however, requires compromise. Because there will inevitably be conflict between the views of the individual and that of the group, we must often conceal or renounce elements of our true character that our contradictory to the group’s collective identity. This means belonging will invariably challenge our identity by forcing us to uphold our own values or to conform to the will of the group. Literature such as Salinger’s renowned ‘Catcher in the Rye’ and film such as Peter Weir’s ‘Witness’ depict how a sense of belonging can benefit or hinder our personal development. Clear from social experiments and observation is that these ideas expressed in these texts are not fictitious but instead apply almost universally in society, bar exceptional cases.

Evolution has taught us that there is strength in group membership. When the Amish community works together in Witness, they can achieve feats unattainable by individuals.  Like most teams, when the Amish work as a group, they are physically stronger, smarter and more efficient because of the collective power of a number of minds and bodies working in unison. In a similar way, working in a group strengthens us spiritually. The members of the Amish community find their spiritual commitment to God is strengthened when they operate in a tight-knit community where everyone supports one another. Their sense of empowerment reflects that of many groups which encourage expression of mutual beliefs. Like the Amish, we find a strength in conformity and unison that reduces the awkwardness of self-expression. When Amish member Daniel was mocked by a gang of youths, the presence of his community helped him to abide by his religious commitments to a life of pacifism. Daniel’s experience reflects those where individuals find their personal integrity strengthened when they have the support of a group backing them. Like in Amish society, belonging to a group of like-minded individuals helps to instil confidence from group conformity. When others reflect our personal beliefs, we feel less isolated and alone. Consequently, because of the confidence that arises out of conformity and a sense of normality, we may be more comfortable expressing ourselves. A sense of belonging therefore can strengthen our personal identity because the support of others can help us better express our own beliefs.

A sense of belonging can also help strengthen identity by assigning us defined social roles. When the Amish community raise the barn, each member of the community is delegated a specific role, from preparing food to managing the woodwork. The specific roles within the Amish community are similar to the roles assigned in any group. These roles may be implicit or explicit, yet both help to strengthen identity by outlining how others expect us to behave.  As a police officer, John Book had the explicit role of someone who upholds the law. His role, like that of others, dictates how he should act under given circumstances. Because of the expectations of his job, Book was more likely to uphold his personal belief in justice. This relationship between social role and identity is reflected in others who adopt social roles that reflect personal beliefs. We are more likely to uphold our own values if we are under some form of obligation to do so. Roles however, do not have to be explicit. In a classroom environment, there will likely only be two explicit roles – the teacher and the student – however amongst students there may be a range of implied roles such as a bully, a class clown and the teacher’s pet. The expectations of these roles are defined by society and what they expect from these types of people. While there are no specific rules or conventions for such roles, we are inclined to behave in a way that is synonymous with our designated ‘identity’ so that we meet other people’s expectations. A class clown for instance would be expected to make frequent jokes and because of their social identity and may even get away with actions that others would be condemned or criticized for. Because these social roles give us an obligation to behave in a certain way, they can be seen to strengthen identity.

In order to belong, however, our personal identity may be challenged. When John Book discovered the corruption that plagued police institution, he had to decide whether to compromise his personal beliefs to remain in the group or voice his objections and be excluded. His dilemma is shared by many who feel that belonging undermines personal identity because in order to belong, they must change ourselves to become accepted by our peers. Homogeneity is often essential to the fundamental operation of a group. Consequently most groups will have little tolerance for deviants. This may mean that in order to maintain our position in a group, the will of the group must be put in front of our own values. For instance, the US military introduced a ‘Don’t ask don’t tell’ policy that forbid homosexuals from being open about their sexuality. The decision was designed to promote uniformity amongst soldiers, as it was feared that anyone who was different from the norm would ignite unrest. Many homosexuals were consequently forced to live behind a ‘mask’ if they wished to remain in the army. Those who openly expressed their identity were excluded from the group by being decommissioned. Many people, like Holden, reject this notion that to belong requires uniformity. In Holden’s eyes, and in the eyes of many individuals, people who conform and compromise their identity to maintain a sense of belonging are ‘phonies’ who lack the fortitude to uphold their own beliefs. Many people thus perceive belonging as something that challenges identity because it forces individuals to change who they are for fear of group exclusion.

While belonging can strengthen an individual’s sense of self by promoting certain behaviour, it can also challenge a person’s core beliefs when their own views contradictory to the views of their group. Like John Book, many people are defined by their social roles, but when conflict inevitably arises due to difference of opinion, our position in the group becomes challenged. We must then decide whether belonging is more important to us than personal integrity. To some, it is better to uphold personal beliefs. Like Holden these types of people may forgo social groups to preserve individuality. Others however, will derive a considerably amount of their identity from group membership and are willing to contort their identity in order to fit in. A sense of belonging can therefore support or detract from our personal identity.

Hope this helps someone and good luck English students of 2010.
Title: Re: English Work Examples Directory
Post by: dejan91 on November 15, 2009, 12:10:31 am
I'll join :) I started writing this one just to have some fun (obviously excluding the written explanation), but my teacher ended up liking it.

Context: Issues of identity and belonging
Prompt: There is always some impetus to start us on our personal journey


Written Explanation

I chose to write my piece in the form of a short story continuing after J.D. Salinger’s ‘Catcher in the Rye’. Upon returning home, Holden, the novel’s protagonist, has been asked to explicitly document his thoughts on a weekly basis by psychoanalysts. My piece contains two of these entries by Holden. I chose to write a short story as I felt an expository or persuasive piece wouldn’t have articulated and explored the key words “impetus” and “personal journey” in as much depth. I will be exploring issue of identity and belonging, and have drawn on key ideas presented in J.D. Salinger’s “The Catcher in the Rye” such as phoniness. The piece is aimed at adolescence and young adults of the 1950’s. The reason for this is that I believe this audience is at a stage in their life where, just like Holden, they need an impetus to start them on their journey of self-discovery. The language also reflects the teenage colloquial speech of the time. In order to emulate Salinger’s style of writing, I have focused more on the psychological progression rather than a physical plot, and have frequently digressed from the main idea to seemingly disjointed ideas. I have also employed many of the colloquial expressions that distinguish his language use. This includes using terms such as:
- “Gonna” as a substitute for “going to”, and “helluva” instead of “hell of a”.
- Explicit words “goddamn”, “bastard”, “some crap”, “sonuvabitch”.
Moreover, I have used the following for the reasons given:
-“Guys like that only ever do things because it’s their job”. This shows that Holden cannot yet acknowledge the reality he faces. It is a reality in which the people around him – the ‘phony’ adults – must at times deny their true identity in order to be part of a functioning society.
-The fact that Holden is still “horsing around” before coming across his impetus suggest that he is still uncertain of who he truly is, and thus attempting different personas.
- “People are never th
ere when you look for them”. This is ironic in the way that Holden spent much of his time in “The Catcher in the Rye” almost crying out for help, desperately wanting someone to rescue him, and yet still the notion that he is alone remains in him.
- I considered writing “I’m crazy” following “…in such a goddamn rush”. However I felt that without “I’m crazy”, it better exemplified the change in Holden as a result of his impetus. He no longer regards himself in that way.
Prior to composing my piece, I contemplated whether or not there is always an impetus, and deduced that there is reasoning behind every action. Even in Holden’s chaotic and disconcerted mind, there is always a motive driving his actions. In my short story, Holden’s impetus comes when Jane asks him “what are you doing, now?”. At that point, Holden finally admits to himself, or is able to see, that he is living a wasted, unfulfilling life. He is determined to make an effort at belonging to a school community. Considering his dislike for ‘phony’ prep schools, Holden fittingly decides to attend a public high school. It is significant that despite everything Holden has been through, he has not as yet received the impetus he truly needs. Jane is this hidden impetus that Holden was so reluctant to contact in “The Catcher in the Rye”.



The actual piece...

Saturday, 17 October, 1951
If you really want to know the truth, I still don’t feel like telling you about everything that happened. I know it’s been a month and all since I last told you about it, but I don’t. If it was up to me, I wouldn’t write a single goddam word anymore. I swear it. Thing is, it isn’t up to me. You see, when I was leaving that crumby hospital place, they made me – the psychoanalyst guys – they made me write in a diary every week. They said it was to monitor my thought patterns or some crap, see if I’ve changed since I got there. I don’t think I’ve changed. I mean, I don’t think I’ve changed at all. But old Phoebe does. She reckons I’ve changed a lot. I don’t feel any different, that’s for sure. I think if someone changes or something happens, you’re meant to feel it. Otherwise, how would you know you’ve changed? You wouldn’t, is what I’m saying. Suppose you hit yourself on a park bench or something, and suppose it hurts – enough to leave a bruise. You know you’ve changed. You can feel it for Christ sake.  I really think Phoebe’s the one who’s changed. She’s all grown up now. I know it’s only been a month since I last saw her, but she has. She still has my hunting hat too – she loves it. She even showed me all these photos of her wearing it during the summer with her friends. Old Phoebe. She killed me.

Anyway, I couldn’t stand it in that hospital place anymore. Honest to God I couldn’t. I‘m not going to tell you everything about it now, but they had this one psychoanalyst guy, Dr. Jackson, he was the biggest phony in the whole goddam place. What he’d do, he’d come in to your room, and he’d sit on a chair next to you with this serious face on and all. Strictly professional. Then, he’d start talking to you in this serious voice, just like one you hear in the pictures. He’d start telling you about how to find the direction of your mind, and how we all need purpose in life to get anywhere. He sounded a lot like Mr. Antolini to tell you the truth, about finding the size of your heart and all. I mean, don’t get me wrong, he was a helluva nice guy, but you could tell he only did it because it was his job. I hate it when people act differently around other people because it’s their job or something. I really do. Anyway, the whole time he was talking, I wasn’t listening. Instead, all I did was nod my head like a madman and pretend to listen. I know what you’re thinking, I should have listened. Boy do I know it. Trouble was I didn’t really feel like it. You have to be in the mood to listen to psychoanalyst guys like Dr. Jackson.

Anyway, I was home alone, so I decided to finally give old Jane a buzz. You know, just to see how she’s been going. I was walking down the hall towards the phone, then all of a sudden, for no good reason, I started acting like some old sonuvabitch. What I did was I pretended my back hurt and I needed a walking cane, so I bent my back and started walking real slow. Like real slow. Grandpa slow. I kept on yelling out “Oh, I’m going to get you now, sonny boy! I’m going to get you! Just you watch it!”, and shaking my finger with the other hand that wasn’t holding on to my walking cane. Of course, I was only horsing around, and I quit it once I got to the phone. Then, I dialled Jane’s number.

 “Hello. Hi, Jane. It’s…it’s”. My voice was shaky as hell. “…it’s me. Holden Caulf -”. Then, I did something stupid.  I hung up. Right after I said half my damn name. Don’t ask me why I did it, I just did. Right after that, the phone rang.

“Holden? Holden Caulfield? Was that you a second ago?” Boy, was I nervous.

“Jane! It was me just a second ago, you’ll have to excuse my phone playing up. Anyway, how are ya? No kidding, how are ya?"
 
“I’m splendid thank you very much. How have you been? I haven’t spoken to you in years!” She wasn’t kidding either. I don’t even remember that last time I talked to her. Honest.

“Swell. Listen, I was wondering, do you feel at all like catching up on Monday? You know, just the two of us. Nothing special, lunch and a game of checkers is all. Do you? For old time’s sake? It’s just I haven’t seen you in an awfully long time and I’d really like to and–“.

“Holden, slow down! I’d love to go with you on Monday. That would be splendid. Trouble with Monday, Holden, is we both have school” I forgot. What a moron I was. It’s been so damn long since I’ve been to school - two months in fact - I forgot everyone else started last month. “How about tomorrow?” Today was Saturday.

“Tomorrow? Sunday? Sure, no problem. Sunday is good. Sunday is grand” When I’m nervous I sure as hell know how to talk fast. I’m not kidding. “Say, 1 o’clock outside Grand Central Station?”
“Splendid. See you then”.

On the count that I didn’t want to be late for my date with old Jane, I got there ten minutes before one o’clock. It was quite busy at Grand Central, and I was wondering if I could find the nuns I talked to all that time ago. They weren’t there. I wasn’t surprised. People are never there when you look for them. Finally, Jane showed up. Jane Gallagher. What a sight.

 “Holden Caulfield, it’s been so long! How have you been?” Boy, she sure was excited to see me. I like that, when someone is excited to see you or something.

“I’m marvellous, just marvellous. Listen, hey, you wanna eat something? I’m hungry, you wanna eat something?

“Sure, no problem. I’d love to eat.”

What we did, we made our way to some fancy diner and took a seat right next to the window. Naturally, I pulled up a seat for her, and naturally I waited until she sat down before I sat down. I’m a real gentleman like that, I really am.

 “Why, thank you Holden.  You’re awfully sweet” Damn straight I was. And you know what? I’ll bet you a thousand bucks that when Stradlater took old Jane out on a date, he went right on ahead and sat down before her, the bastard. He probably didn’t even pull her up a goddamn seat. What a jerk. If there’s anything I hate more than phonies, it’s jerks like Stradlater who don’t pull up a seat for their date.

 “Swell. Listen, I’ve been meaning to ask you. Which school do you go to now, B.M. or Shipley? Shipley or B.M? You didn’t say which one” I was genuinely interested too. I wasn’t just asking for the hell of it.

“Shipley. It’s a splendid little school. What school do you go to now Mr. Holden Caulfield? Still at Whooton?”

“Me? No, no school for me. I don’t really feel like it. No kidding. I really don’t”.

“Not in school you say. That’s interesting Holden. So what are you doing now? I mean, you’re obviously not in school, so what exactly are you doing? I’d love to know”. She really got me with that question. I mean, when someone asks you what you’re doing, how do you answer when you don’t know what the hell it is you’re actually doing. You can’t answer it is what I’m saying.

“Listen, hey, I have to go. No kidding. I have to go and do something important. It was swell seeing you again, it really was. We should meet up some other time, we really should. Bye. See ya”. Then I beat it on old Jane before she even said a word. I know it wasn’t the smoothest thing to do. I admit it. I don’t even know I was in such a goddamn rush. I just had this good feeling all of a sudden. It was strange. I don’t think I’ve ever felt this way before. I mean sure I’ve felt like this before, but not exactly like this. I don’t know what I mean by that, but I mean it.

Saturday, 24 October, 1951
You’re probably wondering what I did after I beat it on old Jane. I mean, if I were reading this, I would be too. So I’ll tell you. What I did, I went straight home from the diner in Grand Central. I didn’t even catch the bus or a taxi or anything. I just ran. All I was thinking about the whole time I was running was going back to school. But this time, I wasn’t going to go to any phony prep school like Whooton or Pencey or anything where they serve steak on Sundays or something. All I wanted to do was go to this one school I’d always passed by but didn’t notice much, Hunter West High School. It was nice and close to home – walking distance in fact – and I could sleep at home and see Phoebe all the time. I got excited just thinking about it. So what I did when I got home, I talked to my parents about going there. They weren’t too keen on the idea, I’ll admit it, but they ended up deciding it was better than me staying home all the time.  To tell you the truth, even if they did tell me I couldn’t go, I probably would have changed their mind. I’m very persistent you see.

 It was Sunday that day, and I started on Monday. No kidding, it was that quick. They usually give you a whole goddamn book of forms to fill in before they even let you near the goddamn school. Forms about where you live, what your parents do, even why you want to go there. I hate that. When a school or something makes you fill in a whole book of forms just because they want to know everything about you. They should be the ones filling in the forms, so they can tell you who they are. Anyway, Hunter West didn’t do that; they let me in right away. I was glad they did. I didn’t really feel like filling in any goddamn stupid forms.

 I know what you’re probably thinking, how can I go to public high school like Hunter West when my dad is a hotshot lawyer? The thing is, I can. The way I see it, you can choose to go to whichever school you want, even if your dad is a hotshot lawyer or something. I really liked it there too. More than any other school I’d been to. Honest to God.  What I liked about it, everyone told you what they thought straight away. I mean, if they didn’t like the shirt you were wearing, or something you said, they’d tell you. Even better, there was no one asking you if they could borrow your Hound’s-tooth jacket because they didn’t have one and then stretching it, or cutting their nails all over your table even though you told them not to a thousand times. There’s this one kid at Hunter West, Jonathan Remus, and boy did I hate him the first time I saw him. All I kept thinking to myself was how much of a conceited bastard he must be. Then one day I forgot my lunch money - at Hunter West they have a canteen and all where you buy your lunch from everyday, and you have to bring your own lunch money - so what he did the day I forgot my lunch money, he gave me his money. I didn’t even ask him to do it, he just did. The strange thing is, everyone here is like that. Everyone here is offering you their lunch money or something. No one has to pretend to care who has the better suitcase because, in the first place, you don’t need a suitcase if you go to Hunter West. The best part of all, I haven’t met one jerk since I got here, I swear to God I haven’t. And you know what?  I think I’ll stay this time. For the first time in my crumby life, I think I’ll stay. I mean, I want to stay. I really do.  As much as I want to think it’s up to me, it’s not up to me, so I guess I’ll just have to wait and see what happens.



Yes, it's very long. And no, I didn't copy plot from the book.
Title: Re: English Work Examples Directory
Post by: TrueTears on December 19, 2009, 03:05:39 pm
Thought I'd contribute a little bit.

Richard III essays.

“Richard tries to seduce his audience as well as his enemies.” Does he succeed?

“King Richard III” proved to be extremely popular in Shakespeare’s time. Its popularity among the Elizabethans was not simply because of good entertainment but it reflected the social and political unease of the time and engaged with many of the anxieties of its first audiences. The play directly addresses the sense of English nationhood that was so encouraged by the Tudors. The play reflects the often corrupt times of late Elizabethan England, personal ambition and lust for power generate hypocrisy, dishonesty and a lack of trust. The play’s preoccupation with appearance and reality, pretence and seeming, echoes the nature of drama itself. Richard knowingly plays the actor, someone who pretends. He is the arch-deceiver and his skills as actor and manipulator enable him to use false words and appearances to fool other characters. His enthusiasm for sharing these skills with an audience, while other characters are on stage and unaware of what is happening, provides much of the play’s fascination. Richard seeks to seduce the audience and many other characters through his brilliant speeches. The opening soliloquy shows us what a masterful speaker Richard is; it immediately captures the audiences’ attention. Richard continues to grasp the audiences’ awareness in Act 1 Scene 3 where he hides his true intentions as Margaret repeatedly curses him. The wooing of Anne demonstrates Richard’s brilliance as a manipulator of people. However as the play progresses Richard begins to lose his elegance in speech and fails to replicate his sagacity.

Richard’s brilliance in speech allows him to grab the audience’s attention. King Richard III is the only Shakespearean play to begin with a soliloquy spoken by the protagonist. Its effect is to plunge the audience with remarkable suddenness into Richard’s inner world. His deformed body hides a brilliant and witty mind, while his breathtaking honesty about himself and delight into his own cleverness quickly casts its spell over the audience. His love of intrigue and malicious plotting against those who stand in his way are evident in his opening soliloquy where, alienated and alone, he shares his innermost thoughts with the audience. The opening lines seem to celebrate an England readjusting from war to peace, but since they are spoken by Richard, they set the tone of mocking irony that will characterize much of the play. “Now is the winter of our discontent, made glorious summer by this son of York.” Before the end of the scene the audience learns that “this son of York” is close to death and Richard is plotting to remove all who stand in his way to England’s throne. The end of the bloody civil war is to be a very brief “summer” and present peace is to prove first fragile, then illusory. Richard caricatures the celebrations as hallow: “stern alarums” have changed to “merry meetings” and “dreadful marches” have become “delightful measures”. Richard begins to reflect on his deformity. While others delight in the “amorous looking glass” that shows their beauty, Richard’s misshapen body creates a “shadow in the sun” that alienates him from others and their pleasures. Immediately, Elizabethan audiences will realize that Richard’s psychical deformity held special significance, they viewed it as a manifestation of his inner corruption. Richard himself is brutally honest about his appearance; he admits to being imperfectly shaped and blames premature birth for his condition. His defiance against everyone is expressed in the words he chooses to describe himself, “[he] was cheated…unfinished…half made up” and “dogs bark at him” as he passes by because of his deformity. It is clear that Richard uses his deformity as a tool to gain the sympathy of the audience and thus gain our trust. Richard ironically rejects the role of a lover and declares his true intention to be a villain and to gain power. “And therefore, since I cannot prove a lover…I am determined to prove a villain.” In declaring his intention to be evil, critics find Shakespeare’s portrayal of villainy resembles the character of the Vice in medieval morality plays. The Vice was a villainous servant of the devil who trapped people into sin by charm, wit and double-dealing. The Vice often confided in the audience, encouraging them to delight in his cleverness, just as Richard now does. It is clear that Richard is able to brilliantly control the audience’s impression of him, thus enabling this manipulative protagonist to work his charms on the audience.

Richard’s ability to use a variety of language techniques allows him to attract the audience every time he is on stage. For example, in Act 1 Scene 3, Richard’s entrance immediately dispels any hope of reconciliation as typically he carries the attack to his enemies. Hypocritically playing the role of a “plain” man wounded by a corrupt and self-centered court, Richard launches a blistering attack on Elizabeth and the Woodvilles. For example, he lists his grievances: they have complained to King Edward; commoners are being ennobled beyond reason; they are the cause of Clarence’s and Hastings’ imprisonment.  Richard’s words are full of double meaning and innuendo as he accuses Elizabeth and the Woodvilles. He claims he speaks “simple truth” but people mistake his outward appearance. It is clear that Richard manages to charm the audience through the display of his calculated hypocrisy and his ability to cover up his villainy by putting the other characters on the defense heightens the audiences’ liking for him. The entrance of Margaret allows Richard to display his wonderful abilities in speech. Margaret has much in common wit the chorus in Greek tragedy, some critics have even described her as a “living ghost”, resurrected by Shakespeare to crystallize past events. Richard and Margaret use similar language as they curse and accuse each other of past horrific crimes. Margaret calls Richard a “dog”, an “elvish-marked, abortive, rooting hog.” However for a curse to be effective, the person cursed must be named, Richard’s quick-witted interruption ensures it is Margaret who is cursed. The audience is again reminded of Richard’s cleverness and his ability to quickly adapt to the situation. Richard appears to forgive Margaret after she leaves, hypocritically hiding behind the language of religion: “by God’s holy mother”, “repent” and “God pardon.” In his soliloquy he ironically quotes St Matthew’s gospel in the Bible, Richard asserts “God bids us do good for evil” and triumphantly concludes “And thus I clothe my naked villainy… And seem a saint when most I play the devil.” Elizabethan audiences would perceive Richard’s mock piety as blasphemy, a sin that would consign his soul to hell and everlasting suffering after death. But a contemporary audience would have seen Richard’s words and actions as a profound indignity that must invoke God’s wrath.

Richard is able to seduce his enemies through wordplay, wit and cunningness. The wooing of Anne demonstrates this. In Act 1 Scene 2, from lines 33-155, it begins with Richard’s sudden and violent entrance. In language that is the opposite to courtship he commands, then threatens the mourners, “Villains set down the corpse, or by Saint Paul, I’ll make a corpse of him that disobeys.” Anne’s reaction to Richard combines two of the most potent Elizabethan fears: the power of the supernatural and of eternal damnation. Anne demonizes Richard in her opening words to him. He is a “fiend”, “the devil” and a “minister of hell.” Her command to him “avaunt” was accepted as an effective way of banishing supernatural beings. Richard’s cunning mind immediately turns the situation to his moral advantage. The blameless mourner (Anne) is forced to play the accuser as she invokes first superstitious belief, then revenge, “heaven with lightning strike the murderer dead” and finally hellish possession, “his hell-governed arm.”  Shakespeare incorporates the use of stichomythia during the verbal duel between Richard and Anne. It imitates rapid exchanges, repetitions and contrasts which were often found in the plays of the first-century Roman dramatists Seneca. The effect of words being returned back and forth adds to the rhythm of the dialogue. Furthermore, this quickfire repartee, with its formal and artificial qualities, was much enjoyed by Elizabethan audiences as it was designed to show off the ingenious wit and intellectual cleverness of the actors, thus it reinforces Richard’s sharpness in this scene. Richard continues his act, in an outrageous move he proposes to “lie” with Anne in her bedchamber and in a typical reversal of roles, he daringly blames her for his actions, “Your beauty was the cause of that effect, Your beauty, that did haunt me in my sleep to undertake the death of all the world.” The flamboyant actor wins the day, delighting in wordplay, Richard’s lines turn Anne’s image of the eyes of a monster into his own that weep for Anne’s beauty. He kneels at Anne’s feet and “lays his breast open” twice urging Anne to stab him. She cannot and this is the turning point of the scene. Richard says, “Look how my ring encompasseth thy finger.” The ring symbolizes Richard’s triumph. Performers and critics continue to discover exciting and diverse interpretations of this powerful scene. For example, on stage, Antony Sher’s Richard was brutal. He expressed his deformity and sexuality by slipping his crutch under Anne’s skirt. Famous poet W H Auden believed that Richard’s primary satisfaction “is the exercise of power over others against their will. Richard does not really deserve Anne: what he enjoys is successfully wooing a lady whose husband and father-in-law has been killed.”

As the play progresses, Richard begins to lose his ability to charm his enemies. In Act 4 Scene 4, from lines 197-436, Richard attempts to woo young Princess Elizabeth through her mother, Richard attempts victory but Elizabeth proves a worthy adversary. The episode begins with Elizabeth anticipating Richard’s wishes and protecting her daughters who “shall be praying nuns, not weeping queens”. Feminist critics argue this powerful opening statement reveals that Elizabeth wants her daughters, not the men in the play, to have control over their bodies. Elizabeth ironically uses the vicious rumours Richard had spread about the illegitimacy of her children to save young Elizabeth, “Slander myself as false to Edward’s bed”. Richard then argues the advantages to Elizabeth as a grandmother but Elizabeth responds with a series of questions to Richard’s proposal as she mockingly asks “under what title shall I woo for thee?” What follows as Elizabeth counters Richard’s arguments is again a quickfire exchange of stichomythia, often using balanced, antithetical pairing of sentences. It mirrors a similar exchange with Anne. In this back and forth exchange, Elizabeth accuses Richard of disregarding three basic principles that govern a stable society, “God, law, honour”. Richard’s final argument to Elizabeth is the strongest – the state will collapse without this marriage alliance, “Death, desolation, ruin and decay.” Elizabeth agrees to Richard that she will talk to her daughter into marrying him however most interpretations show her as fooling Richard. Critics identify parallels with his wooing of Anne. Both episodes are expressed in formal, often stylized language that uses repetition and antithesis and both episodes form part of the larger structure of the play. The successful wooing of Anne balances the attempted wooing of young Elizabeth. Richard’s earlier success with Anne reflected his mesmerizing power and growing success at that point in the play; however his endeavour to convince Elizabeth signals those powers weakening.

Ultimately, Richard is able to succeed in seducing his enemies and the audience in the earlier parts of the play. He is able to use his brilliant wordplay, language techniques, cunningness and wit to charm the audience and deceive the enemy. However as the play progresses we see Richard’s ‘powers’ slowly weakening, as depicted in his verbal duel with Elizabeth, he is unable to produce the elegance in his speech and he loses his astuteness. Hence Richard loses his ability to seduce his enemies as the play comes to an end.  



Damn word length, can't put all the essays in one post :(
Title: Re: English Work Examples Directory
Post by: TrueTears on December 19, 2009, 03:06:06 pm
“When Richard becomes King, he loses control of himself as well as of England.” Discuss

Shakespeare’s “Richard III” reflects the often corrupt times of the Pre-Tudor England, personal ambition and lust for power generate hypocrisy, dishonesty and a lack of trust. Famous critic A C Bradley views the play as a tragedy that has a special application. He sees tragedy as a process where, paradoxically, after catastrophe, order and unity are restored. Although there is conflict and waste, evil is eventually overcome. This idea of suffering which must be endured under evil Richard before peace is restored by Richmond was a critical approach that has remained popular. It is clear that in “Richard III” the theme of rising and falling from power is explored through Richard. In the first three acts a charismatic Richard successfully removes anyone who stands in his way to kingship; playing a variety of roles with malicious enjoyment. However when he is finally offered the crown, his greatest triumph heralds his downturn in fortune. Thus not only does Richard ultimately lose control over himself but he also loses his authority over England.

Richard’s ability to manipulate and deceive other characters allows him to gain power. In Act 1 Scene 1, Richard declares his true intention to be a villain and gain power, “And therefore, since I cannot prove a lover…I am determined to prove a villain.” In declaring his intention to be evil, critics find Shakespeare’s portrayal of villainy resembles the character of the Vice in medieval morality plays. The Vice was a villainous servant of the devil who trapped people into sin by charm, wit and double-dealing. The Vice often confided in the audience, encouraging them to delight in his cleverness, just as Richard now does, explaining his plot against Clarence. He tells the audience that he has arranged for King Edward to find his brother Clarence a threat and imprison him in the Tower of London. The success of Richard’s plot becomes immediately evident as Clarence enters, being escorted to the Tower of London. Richard swiftly adopts the role of a concerned brother, but almost all he says to Clarence is ironic. Richard does not want Clarence to have a “good” day and knows all the answers to his questions better than his brother. His comment that Clarence should be “new christened in the Tower” ominously forebodes what happens later in the play. Richard’s “brother farewell” and his promise that Clarence’s imprisonment “shall not be long” also holds sinister meanings: Clarence’s imminent death. In a powerfully dramatic moment illustrating the consequences of political instability and court intrigue, Clarence is escorted to the Tower as Hastings is released from it; here Shakespeare is contrasting the idea of imprisonment and freedom. Hastings’ imagery shows that he, like Clarence, is blind to Richard’s plotting: “More pity that the eagles should be mewed while kites and buzzards play at liberty.” This is also dramatically ironic because “Kites and buzzards” refer to the Woodvilles, who are inferior to the “eagles” (Clarence and Hastings) yet it is the superior birds that have been imprisoned. Hastings fails to see that in speaking to Richard he is addressing the real bird of prey. In his soliloquy that ends the scene, Richard reveals his brutal and evil plans with characteristic energy and humour. Imagining the future, the death of his two brothers will leave “the world for me to bustle in!” It is evident that through acting and deceiving Richard is able to gain authority and power.

Richard’s ability to play different roles is another aspect that he utilizes in his quest for domination. For example in Act 3 Scene 7, Richard appears on the balcony between two bishops, reading a book of prayer. It is one of the great comic and dramatic moments of the play. Richard delights in his role of mock piety, but many in the Elizabethan audience would be horrified by the sacrilegious image; ridiculing religion and divine law, Richard has set himself against God in his quest for the crown. As Buckingham appeals to Richard’s patriotism Richard continues his deceitful acting. Richard uses formal language that claims to be a struggle to conceal his true thoughts. He debates whether to be silent or to speak. His silence might be interpreted as acceptance of the crown; if he speaks it may seem like a reprimand to good friends. But even in his false humility Richard makes the distinction between his high “degree” and the lower “condition” of the citizens. Richard argues he is not fit to be monarch. He compares himself to a ship unfit to endure a great ocean, arguing he would rather avoid kingship than desire it and be overwhelmed by such an awesome responsibility. But “ripe revenue”, “due of birth” and the repetition of “me” and “my” reveals he is claiming the throne even as he appears to reject it. When Buckingham says “The royal tree hath left us royal fruit… will well become the seat of majesty and make (no doubt) us happy by his reign”, it marks the third occasion when the Lord Mayor and citizens have listened to slanderous rumour. This deeply ironic scene is often interpreted in many ways. For example, on film, Olivier veered dangerously out of control as Richard played up to Buckingham’s description of his virtues, “tenderness…gentle…kind” and dropped his prayer book in horror when Buckingham stated, “But we will plant some other in the throne.” Some productions make a long pause after Buckingham’s exit so Richard is genuinely afraid they will not return. His “call them again” has a note of genuine panic that often creates audience laughter. Richard accepts the crown in a hypocritical speech of great cunning. He shifts responsibility away from himself and onto those who imposed kingship on him. “Since you will buckle fortune on my back…I must have patience to endure the load.”  Repetition of the pronouns “I”, “you”, “your” and words meaning “burden” and “fault” reinforces his appearance of grudging acceptance. In Olivier’s film, Richard’s final action was to force Buckingham to kneel and kiss his hand in an act of submission. The end of this scene represents the beginning of Richard’s reign, however audiences may remember the inevitable cycle of revenge that will only end in Richard’s death.

As the play progresses we begin to see Richard’s power weakening and as a result he begins to slowly lose control of England. At the end of Act 4 Scene 4, three short sequences expose Richard’s deteriorating position and growing insecurity: he gives confused orders to Catesby and Ratcliffe; shows distrust of Stanley; and reacts illogically to the messengers’ reports. Ratcliffe brings news of Richmond’s threatened invasion and of unreliable allies, “hollow-hearted friends”. Richard’s orders are confused. He instructs Catesby to “fly to the duke” but forgets to give him the message. Within moments of commanding Ratcliffe to precede him to the city of Salisbury, Richard can not remember the reason for his order, and reverses it. Stanley reports that Richmond is about to invade, Richard’s response “is the chair empty?” can be a great dramatic moment. On film, Olivier screamed the line as he rushed to the throne to be reassured of his ownership. In this final episode, Shakespeare condenses two years of history. Shakespeare’s compression increases the dramatic effect. It conveys Richard’s rapidly weakening position and shows his impulsive reactions to the contradictory reports: confused orders, changes of mind, striking a messenger, hasting decisions taken without advice. All suggest a character under great stress, but even still his final words seem full of determination, “Away towards Salisbury! While we reason here a royal battle might be won and lost.” In Act 5 Scene 2, the alternating episodes from Richard’s camp to Richmond’s camp enable the audience to make direct comparisons and contrasts between the opposing sides. Richmond represents all that is opposite to Richard, he believes that God will support his just cause thus he puts his fate in God’s hands. This can be seen when Richmond interprets the promise of a fair weather, “a goodly day tomorrow” as an optimistic omen for the next day’s battle, suggesting that the sky will shine on him but frown on Richard. He is courteous to those under his command calling Blunt “good…sweet”. All of his attributes portray him to be the “all conquering hero” who will end Richard’s evil reign. The weakening of Richard’s mind and body is illustrated in his nightmare. Richard’s bloody deeds are compressed into a succession of brief nightmarish appearances that force him, through his dreams, to realize the enormity of his crimes. Richard knows he is a sinner, yet he can not repent. “Despair” is the ultimate Christian sin, it implies that Richard has put himself beyond the reach of God’s forgiveness and his soul will be forever damned. The ghosts’ formal language of repetition, balance and contrast reflects the language of the pageant or morality play. The stylized presentation, with its roots in early religious drama, implies that Richard’s opponent is God, not Richmond, implying that he has no chance of winning. The climax of Richard’s descent from power is highlighted when he says “A horse! A horse! My kingdom for a horse!” In his moment of greatest need, the last king in Shakespeare’s great history cycle is reduced to wanting only a horse. Richard’s death gives the director unlimited opportunities to stage not only a thrilling climax, but also a personal interpretation of the play. In one production, a ghost entered when Richard was about to kill Richmond, saying “despair and die” and drained Richard of his power. In another Royal Shakespeare Company production, Margaret appeared and her presence enable Richmond to administer the deathblow. However one thing is clear: no matter what the interpretation is, it is clear that Richard ultimately fails to maintain his authority and control over his kingdom and thus led to his death.

As evidenced, Richard is able to succeed in gaining absolute power and domination through his ability to play different roles and through his brilliant speeches. Furthermore he deceives his enemies through language techniques, cunningness and wit. However we see that Richard is unable to sustain his power and thus he loses control of not only himself but also his country. As a famous critic, E M W Tillyard once said, “As long as good exists, peace will be restored.”
Title: Re: English Work Examples Directory
Post by: TrueTears on December 19, 2009, 03:07:54 pm
“Shakespeare’s Richard is a master of role play.” Discuss

Shakespeare’s “Richard III” is a play about acting, it reflects the often corrupt times of the Pre-Tudor England where courtiers have to hide their true allegiances and feelings in order to survive. Richard knowingly plays the actor, someone who pretends. He is the arch-deceiver and his skills as actor and manipulator enable him to use false words and appearances to fool other characters. His enthusiasm for sharing these skills with an audience, while other characters are on stage and unaware of what is happening, provides much of the play’s fascination. Richard takes on the role of a consummate actor as he plots to seize the crown. In the earlier sections of the play Richard plays many roles: devoted brother to Clarence and the one who shows mock amiability followed by mock fury with Hastings at the council meeting. Richard is even more audacious in his role-play as Buckingham joins him in their melodramatic pretence to fool the Lord Mayor that they are under attack. However not all the characters are taken in by his deceptions. Elizabeth recognizes the dangers that Richard poses from the very start. Margaret sees Richard for what he is and throughout the play she warns all who will listen of his evil nature.

Richard’s ability to adopt different roles allows him to manipulate and deceive others. In Act 1 Scene 1, Richard declares his true intention to be a villain and gain power, “And therefore, since I cannot prove a lover…I am determined to prove a villain.” He tells the audience that he has arranged for King Edward to find his brother Clarence a threat and imprison him in the Tower of London. The success of Richard’s plot becomes immediately evident as Clarence enters, being escorted to the Tower of London. Richard swiftly adopts the role of a concerned brother, but almost all he says to Clarence is ironic. Richard does not want Clarence to have a “good” day and knows all the answers to his questions better than his brother. His comment that Clarence should be “new christened in the Tower” ominously forebodes what happens later in the play. Richard’s “brother farewell” and his promise that Clarence’s imprisonment “shall not be long” also holds sinister meanings: Clarence’s imminent death. In Act 3 Scene 4, Richard adopts the role of a fake ‘friend’. Buckingham argues that he knows Richard’s outward appearance but not his inward thoughts, “We know each other’s faces…he knows no more of mine than I of yours”. This is sharply contrasted with Hastings claiming a closer relationship Richard, “I know he loves me well”. This highlights the fact that Hastings is a foolish and over-confident character. Survival in these dangerous times lies in the ability to correctly judge a person’s real nature and not to be misled by external signs. Hastings will not survive because he demonstrates a fatal inability to distinguish between Richard’s “face” and “heart”. He also fails to grasp the wider perspective: he is playing the role of a foolish and trusting courtier assigned to him by two practiced deceivers. Too late he will realize the foolish of believing, “for by his face straight shall you know his heart.” Not only does this show that Richard is a mater of role play but he is also able to conceal his intentions leaving other characters clueless.

An important factor that allows Richard to be a master of role play is his ability to seduce his enemies with brilliant wordplay. In Act 3 Scene 5, Shakespeare draws upon his theatrical experience to portray how Richard and Buckingham feign fear and terror in a brilliantly stage-managed scene to convince the Lord Mayor that Hastings had plotted against them and deserved execution without trial. Appearing in old and rusty armour, “rotten armour, marvelous ill-favoured” they rush around the stage frantically warding off imaginary enemies. This can be seen as a parody of contemporary Elizabethan tragedy which artfully simulates danger. Richard’s subtle invocation of Christian ethics, “That breathed upon the earth a Christian” manages to persuade the Mayor. Critics note that Richard ironically adopts the role previously played by Hastings: an uncomplicated man who has foolishly failed to distinguish Hastings’ harmless face from his false heart. Thus the Lord Mayor becomes another of Richard’s victims as he fails to distinguish the cruel reality behind the honest appearance. Furthermore, in Act 3 Scene 7, Richard appears on the balcony between two bishops, reading a book of prayer. It is one of the great comic and dramatic moments of the play. Richard delights in his role of mock piety, but many in the Elizabethan audience would be horrified by the sacrilegious image; ridiculing religion and divine law, Richard has set himself against God in his quest for the crown. He compares himself to a ship unfit to endure a great ocean, arguing he would rather avoid kingship than desire it and be overwhelmed by such an awesome responsibility. But “ripe revenue”, “due of birth” and the repetition of “me” and “my” reveals he is claiming the throne even as he appears to reject it. This deeply ironic scene is often interpreted in many ways. For example, on film, Olivier veered dangerously out of control as Richard played up to Buckingham’s description of his virtues, “tenderness…gentle…kind” and dropped his prayer book in horror when Buckingham stated, “But we will plant some other in the throne.” Some productions make a long pause after Buckingham’s exit so Richard is genuinely afraid they will not return, thus depicting the brilliance of Richard’s role play. Richard accepts the crown in a hypocritical speech of great cunning. He shifts responsibility away from himself and onto those who imposed kingship on him. “Since you will buckle fortune on my back…I must have patience to endure the load.”  Repetition of the pronouns “I”, “you”, “your” and words meaning “burden” and “fault” reinforces his appearance of grudging acceptance.

Whilst Richard is able to fool most characters with his amazing acting abilities there exist characters that see through him. For example in Act 4 Scene 4 from lines 197 – 436, the episode begins with Elizabeth anticipating Richard’s wishes and protecting her daughters who “shall be praying nuns, not weeping queens”. Feminist critics argue this powerful opening statement reveals that Elizabeth wants her daughters, not the men in the play, to have control over them, thus exposing Richard’s ability to adopt different roles. Elizabeth ironically uses the vicious rumours Richard had spread about the illegitimacy of her children to save young Elizabeth, “Slander myself as false to Edward’s bed”. Richard then argues the advantages to Elizabeth as a grandmother but Elizabeth responds with a series of questions to Richard’s proposal as she mockingly asks “under what title shall I woo for thee?” What follows as Elizabeth counters Richard’s arguments is a quickfire exchange of stichomythia, often using balanced, antithetical pairing of sentences. It mirrors a similar exchange with Anne. In this back and forth exchange, we clearly see Elizabeth attacking Richard and this shows that she is aware of Richard’s evil plans. Richard’s final argument to Elizabeth is the strongest – the state will collapse without this marriage alliance, “Death, desolation, ruin and decay.” Elizabeth agrees to Richard that she will talk to her daughter into marrying him however most interpretations show her as fooling Richard. It is clear to the audience that Elizabeth is able to see through Richard’s acting and clearly has no intention of handing over young Elizabeth. Furthermore in Act 1 Scene 3, Margaret curses Richard knowing that he is deceiving everyone. Margaret’s dramatic function is to remind the characters of their past evil acts of treachery, deceit and murder. She has much in common with the chorus in Greek tragedy, commenting on the action and expressing her viewpoint in asides to the audience which highlights the ‘real’ Richard compared to how Richard presents himself. Richard’s accusations against Elizabeth are punctuated by Margaret’s choric asides which clearly indicate that she is not fooled by Richard and sees through his manipulation.

Ultimately, Richard is portrayed as a master role player through the entire play. He is able to deceive others through his brilliant wordplay, cunningness and wit. Furthermore, he adapts to situations quickly as depicted in the scene with Clarence. However characters such as Elizabeth and Margaret are able to see through his acting thus implying that even the most astucious character can have flaws.
Title: Re: English Work Examples Directory
Post by: TrueTears on December 19, 2009, 03:08:20 pm
“Richard’s success relies on the weakness of others.” Do you agree?

“King Richard III” proved to be extremely popular in Shakespeare’s time. Its popularity among the Elizabethans was not simply because of good entertainment but it reflected the social and political unease of the time and engaged with many of the anxieties of its first audiences. The play directly addresses the sense of English nationhood that was so encouraged by the Tudors. The play reflects the often corrupt times of late Elizabethan England, personal ambition and lust for power generate hypocrisy, dishonesty and a lack of trust. The play’s preoccupation with appearance and reality, pretence and seeming, echoes the nature of drama itself. Richard knowingly plays the actor, someone who pretends. He is the arch-deceiver and his skills as actor and manipulator enable him to use false words and appearances to fool other characters. Richard is able to exploit other characters’ weakness by taking up different roles as depicted in his conversation with Clarence. The wooing of Anne demonstrates Richard’s brilliance as a manipulator of people through his wonderful speeches. However, Richard is only able to exploit other people’s weakness to a certain extent; when he becomes King, he feels he has no need to play any other roles, thus he loses control over himself and is ultimately stripped from his position of power.

Richard’s ability to manipulate and deceive other characters leads him to his success. In Act 1 Scene 1, Richard declares his true intention to be a villain and gain power, “And therefore, since I cannot prove a lover…I am determined to prove a villain.” In declaring his intention to be evil, critics find Shakespeare’s portrayal of villainy resembles the character of the Vice in medieval morality plays. The Vice was a villainous servant of the devil who trapped people into sin by charm, wit and double-dealing. The Vice often confided in the audience, encouraging them to delight in his cleverness, just as Richard now does, explaining his plot against Clarence. He tells the audience that he has arranged for King Edward to find his brother Clarence a threat and imprison him in the Tower of London. The success of Richard’s plot becomes immediately evident as Clarence enters, being escorted to the Tower of London. Richard swiftly adopts the role of a concerned brother, but almost all he says to Clarence is ironic. Richard does not want Clarence to have a “good” day and knows all the answers to his questions better than his brother. His comment that Clarence should be “new christened in the Tower” ominously forebodes what happens later in the play. Richard’s “brother farewell” and his promise that Clarence’s imprisonment “shall not be long” also holds sinister meanings: Clarence’s imminent death. In a powerfully dramatic moment illustrating the consequences of political instability and court intrigue, Clarence is escorted to the Tower as Hastings is released from it; here Shakespeare is contrasting the idea of imprisonment and freedom. Hastings’ imagery shows that he, like Clarence, is blind to Richard’s plotting: “More pity that the eagles should be mewed while kites and buzzards play at liberty.” This is also dramatically ironic because “Kites and buzzards” refer to the Woodvilles, who are inferior to the “eagles” (Clarence and Hastings) yet it is the superior birds that have been imprisoned. Hastings fails to see that in speaking to Richard he is addressing the real bird of prey. In his soliloquy that ends the scene, Richard reveals his brutal and evil plans with characteristic energy and humour. Imagining the future, the death of his two brothers will leave “the world for me to bustle in!” It is evident that through acting and deceiving Richard is able to gain authority and power.

Richard is able to seduce his enemies through wordplay, wit and cunningness. The wooing of Anne demonstrates this. In Act 1 Scene 2, from lines 33-155, it begins with Richard’s sudden and violent entrance. In language that is the opposite to courtship he commands, then threatens the mourners, “Villains set down the corpse, or by Saint Paul, I’ll make a corpse of him that disobeys.” Anne’s reaction to Richard combines two of the most potent Elizabethan fears: the power of the supernatural and of eternal damnation. Anne demonizes Richard in her opening words to him. He is a “fiend”, “the devil” and a “minister of hell.” Her command to him “avaunt” was accepted as an effective way of banishing supernatural beings. Richard’s cunning mind immediately turns the situation to his moral advantage. The blameless mourner (Anne) is forced to play the accuser as she invokes first superstitious belief, then revenge, “heaven with lightning strike the murderer dead” and finally hellish possession, “his hell-governed arm.”  Shakespeare incorporates the use of stichomythia during the verbal duel between Richard and Anne. It imitates rapid exchanges, repetitions and contrasts which were often found in the plays of the first-century Roman dramatists Seneca. The effect of words being returned back and forth adds to the rhythm of the dialogue. Furthermore, this quickfire repartee, with its formal and artificial qualities, was much enjoyed by Elizabethan audiences as it was designed to show off the ingenious wit and intellectual cleverness of the actors, thus it reinforces Richard’s sharpness in this scene. Richard continues his act, in an outrageous move he proposes to “lie” with Anne in her bedchamber and in a typical reversal of roles, he daringly blames her for his actions, “Your beauty was the cause of that effect, Your beauty, that did haunt me in my sleep to undertake the death of all the world.” The flamboyant actor wins the day, delighting in wordplay, Richard’s lines turn Anne’s image of the eyes of a monster into his own that weep for Anne’s beauty. He kneels at Anne’s feet and “lays his breast open” twice urging Anne to stab him. She cannot and this is the turning point of the scene. Richard says, “Look how my ring encompasseth thy finger.” The ring symbolizes Richard’s triumph. Performers and critics continue to discover exciting and diverse interpretations of this powerful scene. For example, on stage, Antony Sher’s Richard was brutal. He expressed his deformity and sexuality by slipping his crutch under Anne’s skirt. Famous poet W H Auden believed that Richard’s primary satisfaction “is the exercise of power over others against their will. Richard does not really deserve Anne: what he enjoys is successfully wooing a lady whose husband and father-in-law has been killed.”

As the play progresses, Richard begins to lose his ability to charm his enemies. In Act 4 Scene 4, from lines 197-436, Richard attempts to woo young Princess Elizabeth through her mother, Richard attempts victory but Elizabeth proves a worthy adversary. The episode begins with Elizabeth anticipating Richard’s wishes and protecting her daughters who “shall be praying nuns, not weeping queens”. Feminist critics argue this powerful opening statement reveals that Elizabeth wants her daughters, not the men in the play, to have control over their bodies. Elizabeth ironically uses the vicious rumours Richard had spread about the illegitimacy of her children to save young Elizabeth, “Slander myself as false to Edward’s bed”. Richard then argues the advantages to Elizabeth as a grandmother but Elizabeth responds with a series of questions to Richard’s proposal as she mockingly asks “under what title shall I woo for thee?” During this conversation, we again witness a quickfire exchange of stichomythia, often using balanced, antithetical pairing of sentences. It mirrors a similar exchange with Anne. Furthermore, we clearly see Elizabeth attacking Richard and this shows that she is not deceived by Richard’s evil plans. In this back and forth exchange, Elizabeth accuses Richard of disregarding three basic principles that govern a stable society, “God, law, honour”. Richard’s final argument to Elizabeth is the strongest – the state will collapse without this marriage alliance, “Death, desolation, ruin and decay.” Elizabeth agrees to Richard that she will talk to her daughter into marrying him however most interpretations show her as fooling Richard. Critics identify parallels with his wooing of Anne. Both episodes are expressed in formal, often stylized language that uses repetition and antithesis and both episodes form part of the larger structure of the play. The successful wooing of Anne balances the attempted wooing of young Elizabeth. Richard’s earlier success with Anne reflected his mesmerizing power and growing success at that point in the play; however his endeavour to convince Elizabeth signals those powers weakening.

Evidently, Richard is able to manipulate other characters through his different roles demonstrated in his conversation to Clarence. He is able to use brilliant language techniques and cunningness to seduce his enemies thus manipulating them such as the wooing of Anne. However Richard is unable to sustain this when he is crowned King; he loses the elegancy in his speeches and thus he is unable to exploit other characters’ weakness and use them to his advantage. It is clear that Shakespeare is implying that even the most astucious character will have flaws.

Title: Re: English Work Examples Directory
Post by: TrueTears on December 19, 2009, 03:08:45 pm
“Shakespeare’s Richard III presents a cynical view of conscience.”
Do you agree?

“Richard III” explores the idea of conscience in great detail. With the growth of Protestantism under the Tudors, the notion of the importance of individual conscience became supremely important to the Elizabethans. Conscience gives the characters in the play an innate sense of what is right and wrong, especially in relation to their actions and motives; it strips away outward show to reveal their true feelings. Shakespeare’s ominous exploration of conscience is highlighted through Richard’s character and personality. Shakespeare’s portrayal of conscience is also closely knit with God’s interaction with the world. Amidst such grave portrayals of conscience, Shakespeare ensures the audience that Richmond, an agent of divine justice sent by God, will restore sanity.

Shakespeare attempts to highlight the illegitimacy of the Yorkist regime by bringing out the worst of conscience through the character of Richard. Despite his nature Richard becomes king which leads to the idea that he is the “Scourge of God” as he takes a deliberate decision to ignore the constraints of morality in his quest for the crown. For example, Richard manipulates and deceives other characters in order to gain power. In Act 1 Scene 1, Richard declares his true intention to be a villain, “And therefore, since I cannot prove a lover…I am determined to prove a villain.” In declaring his intention to be evil, we find Shakespeare’s portrayal of Richard resembles the character of the Vice in medieval morality plays. The Vice was a villainous servant of the devil who trapped people into sin by charm, wit and double-dealing. This portrayal of Richard immediately reinforces his immorality as it suggests that he will remove anyone who stands in his way to kingship. This is further reinforced when he appears on the balcony between two bishops, reading a book of prayer. Richard delights in his role of mock piety, but many in the Elizabethan audience would be horrified by the sacrilegious image; ridiculing religion and divine law, Richard has set himself against God in his quest for the crown. In depicting Richard as having completely disregarded his moral compass, Shakespeare makes it clear that the entire Yorkist faction is immoral and desires nothing except for absolute power. Equally, it can be argued that Shakespeare wants us to see that it is Richard’s own conscience which eventually leads to his downfall. During Richard’s nightmare, his bloody deeds are compressed into a succession of brief nightmarish appearances that force him, through his dreams, to realize the enormity of his crimes. Richard knows he is a sinner, yet he can not repent. “Despair” is the ultimate Christian sin, it implies that Richard has put himself beyond the reach of God’s forgiveness and his soul will be forever damned which suggests that Richard has no chance of winning against Richmond.

God’s interaction with the characters makes them face their conscience and ultimately confess their sins. Clarence’s dream prior his murder is a sustained meditation on the consequences of sin for the Christian soul, with its vision of damnation and everlasting suffering in hell for evil deeds committed in life. The grim humour of the two murderers’ prose as they debate the ethics of Clarence’s murder contrasts with the poetic blank verse of Clarence’s heartfelt agonizing. The first murderer is eager to perform the task but the second murderer feels some remorse. His literal interpretation of Christian belief would be well understood by an Elizabethan audience. He fears that on the Day of Judgment God will discover the sins of the dead and the souls of those who have sinned and will be condemned to hell, “damned.” He has a dilemma; the warrant gives him secular authority to murder Clarence, but this will not prevent God from judging him guilty. But Shakespeare shows how such uneasy qualms of conscience are overcome at the thought of money, “Remember our reward when the deed’s done…Come, he dies, I had forgot the reward.” Clearly, Shakespeare is reinforcing the fact that characters, such as the murderers who are driven by self-interest, choose to ignore their conscience. Clarence argues that he has not been found guilty of any crime and that killing him will condemn both murderers to eternal suffering. The divine law of “The great Kings of kings” is above the secular power of an earthly monarch. But in fact Clarence is guilty of the crime he begs the murderers not to commit. Both Clarence and Richard murdered Edward, Prince of Wales, after the battle of Tewkesbury. Clarence has perjured himself by swearing then breaking an oath to his father-in-law Warwick. Thus the murderers’ reminder to Clarence of his murder and perjury makes the First Murderer’s question unanswerable, “How canst thou urge God’s dreadful law to us when thou hast broke it in such dear degree?” At this point, Clarence inevitably gives in to his conscience, he acknowledges the importance of his immortal soul and makes the correct moral choices before he dies; he confesses his sins. Shakespeare sends out a clear message to the audience that in a society ruled by the Yorks, conscience is an afterthought and not a guiding force. In considering conscience in this way, he reinforces his baseline argument that this regime is fatally flawed.

Shakespeare is primarily concerned with reinforcing the legitimacy of the Tudor regime and therefore Richmond, who becomes the first Tudor king, is presented as a man deeply concerned with living out the ordinances of the ‘Divine’ king and thus he is a character who portrays the glorious nature of conscience. Richmond enters by offering a stirring oration, urging his supporters to fight in God’s name; immediately, Shakespeare wants us to realize that this is an optimistic scene. Richmond is as resolute as Richard but speaks with the gracious ceremony that defines a victor. Richard’s vilification as the “wretched, bloody and usurping boat” who has destroyed England’s peace is contrasted with Richmond’s image as the saviour of the realm, who has the Almighty on his side. The idea that Richmond represents all that is “Good” reinforces the gratifying nature of his conscience. Richmond interprets the promise of a fair weather, “a goodly day tomorrow”, as an optimistic omen for the next day’s battle, suggesting that the sky will shine on him but frown on Richard. He is courteous to those under his command calling Blunt “good” and “sweet”. There is no doubt that Richmond is portrayed as a hero with a moral conscience who will end Richard’s evil reign. When Stanley enters, he acts as a catalyst to reveal the moral differences between Richard and Richmond. Richmond is portrayed as God’s servant as exemplified in Richmond’s prayer to God, “Look on my forces with a gracious eye.” On the other hand, Richard is once again depicted as the “Scourge of God”, someone who has plundered the land and now kills and feasts on his own people as he ravages England. Shakespeare makes it extremely clear that it will be Richmond who will “reap the harvest of perpetual peace.” Richmond’s final actions and language are intended to bring peace after a bloody civil war. He enquires after George Stanley, orders the proper burial for the nobles and offers pardon to enemy soldiers who submit to him. His actions are typical of someone with integrity and moral compassion. By concluding the play with a resounding “Amen”, Shakespeare intends to leave us with the notion that although during corrupt times the worst of men’s conscience is displayed; it is the struggle to seize peace and prosperity that will bring out the incorruptibility nature of conscience.

Shakespeare invests conscience with the most important of roles within society. The audience is ultimately encouraged to realize the importance of conscience, which redeems those who repent. Although Richard ignores all aspects of conscience in his quest for domination, it is argued that he is also destroyed by his own conscience. Even if there does not seem to be much overt goodness to rely on in “Richard III”, Richmond’s representation of conscience highlights the importance of having strong moral values. It can be seen that Shakespeare is trying to teach us a very clear moral lesson: man must admit and act on his own powerful conscience and a failure to live within the constraints of conscience will have disastrous consequences for the individual and for the whole of society.
Title: Re: English Work Examples Directory
Post by: EvangelionZeta on February 17, 2010, 07:23:49 pm
Illusion protects us from life’s harsh reality.

For this piece I have decided to employ a first person narrative voice in order to better show and emphasise the skewed points of view on reality which the narrator (Keith) holds.  Repetition is also employed throughout the piece to assist in characterising Keith as a troubled – perhaps psychologically disturbed – individual, whose framework of mind is as bizarre and incoherent as the jumbling prose featured in this piece.  In terms of imagery, I have favoured the use of awkward and out-of-place similes and metaphors such as “a beauteous punch bowl” in order to better show that Keith’s vision of reality is not conventional in the least.  I have also introduced religious elements – such as the Devil and Judecca – in order to grant the story an otherworldly tinge, in line with the fact that Keith does not exist on the same plane mentally as most humans.

For the narrative elements, Blanche’s penchant for “love”, sex and security have been transferred to the character of Keith as a reminder of sorts for the distortions these kinds of desires may bring to the individual.  Blanche’s living in a world of “magic”, where things are not as they may necessarily be objective also figures largely into Keith’s reality, where his status as “King of the World” is clearly a self-created fantasy.


It appears you do not know why I am telling you this story.  I want you to understand me.

My name is Keith Ormond, medical practitioner by trade and lover by sexuality.  I was once King of the World.  Women control the essence of my life; they are irresistible, tempting as the sweetest of desserts and as joyous as the sight of ice, cold water on a boiling summer’s day.  Women control the essence of my life; I could not live without women, and my indulgence in their innocence has distilled and purified me, moulding out my belly into a beauteous punch bowl filled to the brim and sculpting my features into a Gorgon-like image of the picturesque.
Women control the essence of my life.

This is not to say that I am simply a Casanova, a man who desires quick empty relationships and who abuses and discards them once their purpose has been fulfilled.  I cherish all of my women.  I feel as though they are worth everything in the world as I lavish them with gifts of their fancy and pretty jewellery to suit their needs.  As a result, women love me back, and we share tender moments, dwelling in resplendence as our mortality is brought to the divine through the transcendental powers of love and magic.  Sometimes we talk as we become one soul, sharing the deepest passions of our hearts as we transfix one another with the wondrous things which we have to offer from the depths of our being.  And this is all I need in the world.  This is what I need to complete me.

I want you to understand me.

Unfortunately, women do not always allow themselves to be seduced by my boyish charms.  It appears that the quaintness of a rotund figure and a gargoyle’s face goes unappreciated in this day and age, but it is no matter.  I will tell you a secret.

Please don’t tell anyone, ok?

I am a magician.  If we were living in the 15th century, I would be disapproved of; I confess to dabbling in the Dark Arts, in the delicious morsels which the Devil offer me and my soul.  I do not believe in hell; I simply believe in a world of individuals, of indulgence and self-completion and desire.  Desire.  Three years ago, I made a pact with the Devil so that I would be able obtain women to my heart’s desire.  He said that I should heal his servants, offer my medicine and my knowledge for the greater good.  In return, the Devil said he would grant me a power, a veil of the mystic which would allow me to go undetected beneath God’s holiness and his supposedly omnipresent eye.  God himself is corruptible, the Devil says, and hence I was free to practice, free to present myself to the women of the world with my potions and my concocted magic.

It appears you do not know why I am telling you this story.  

For years, I lived a life which could only be described as ecstasy.  I felt liberated from the boundaries of the mortal realm; I was a soul, standing at the apex of the world, gazing at the depths which I had risen above in my pure pleasure.  I could have gone on forever like this, an existence of the ethereal, of a heavenly nature which transcended time and space.
Unfortunately, women are not constant.  It seems that some are too impressed by my riches and my wealth, else they are intimidated by my beauty; they left me, rendering me and my heart an empty husk, a solitary island floundering aimlessly in a blue and immortal sea.  I used my magic, and it left me temporarily satisfied.  I could not maintain control of what my potions induced, however; the Devil said I could only go so far before it would wear off, before I would be left out of the full power of his hands.  

I want you to understand me.

My name is Keith Ormond, medical practitioner by trade and lover by sexuality.  I crave women.  I cannot live without them.  When a man is unable to fulfil his cravings, he grows desperate, and realises that there is something beyond his full comprehension which he must reach out for.  I did not know what this was.  I did not know how to reach out, until he showed me.

Asmodeus, King of Lust, visited me one night, serenaded me with his songs of love and valour.  He showed me the visions as I tended to his wounds, reflecting that God, in his fight against the Devil, was growing increasingly agitated and angry.  He said that time was running short, that he liked me and that if I wanted full freedom of my love I should seek out the Devil’s daughter.  He told me of her habits and how easily she succumbed to the darkness and the rain.  It would be risky, he said, but if I truly needed the gratification of self which only a nymph of the divine could offer, it would be her.  I like to feel he thought at the time that only an individual as magnificent as I was worthy of her grace; this imagining still seems plausible to my mind.

It appears you do not know why I am telling you this story.

So I did what any man in this situation would do.  I took my most powerful magic, and under the guidance of Asmodeus sprung upon the Devil’s daughter one night in the depths of the evening.  It was short but otherworldly; in my life, there has been nothing so sweet and so beautiful as what laid before my eyes as I engaged once again in the practice which would ultimately prove my undoing.  I took the Devil’s daughter to my residence that night, a step beyond anything the Devil himself had insisted I do, and for weeks I kept her with me, a Queen to the King of the World that I was at that moment.

And then the Devil came knocking on my door.

It happened so quick, so suddenly.  I did not see it coming, and in the darkness one is often dazzled by the spectacular light shows which the Devil and his minions may put on.  Asmodeus led the charge as my front door was destroyed, barging into the chamber of my Dark Arts rituals and plunging his claws straight into my eyes as he whispered, beneath the roars of the fantastical world, “I’m sorry”.  I lost my passion that day; I could no longer see, no longer feel, no longer experience the thrill that kept my alive day to day.

My name is Keith Ormond, medical practitioner by trade and lover by sexuality.  I stand now, a cripple, unable to move as the Devil patiently sorts through his victims and prepares to grant me my fate.  I saw heaven, and now reside in hell.  I am still a lover, but the women are in my dreams, in a world beyond the reach of my body.  I have been given one last freedom, and that is to tell this story.  

I am Keith Ormond, simply a man unable to break free from his desire for fantasy.  I am not the King of the World and I am not a lover.  I am the grotesque, I am the damned, and I have been confined to the darkest depths of this uncaring universe in my desire to escape from the harsh reality of life. There is little for me left; I can no longer touch women, and I can no longer be as I wanted to be.   I cannot live much longer, but my story shall remain.  My soul cannot be salvaged; I have sinned.

I want you to understand me.  Please, help.

Title: Re: English Work Examples Directory
Post by: EvangelionZeta on February 24, 2010, 11:02:12 pm
Memories are a significant part of the way we see the present.

This piece is written in the third person from the perspective of Dorothy, a has-been singer who like Blanche is still caught in delusions of the grandeur she had from when she was younger.  Like Blanche, Dorothy has a definite penchant for the fantastical; to reflect this, I have been quite liberal throughout the piece with description, primarily in simile and metaphor.  I have also used a significant amount of ethereal or otherworldly imagery in order to better emphasise that Dorothy lives on a slightly different plane from most people, stemming largely from her being caught in the fashion of her past.

In balance, I have created the character of Jack to be a Stanley-like figure, malicious and predatory by nature, although in a materialistic fashion.   In regards to the relationship between Dorothy and Jack, I have also employed an idea similar to Blanche’s desire for younger men who remind her of her past; to Dorothy, Jack’s (objectively unreal) masculinity is also highly attractive in a sexual fashion, akin to the aura of raw masculinity which attracts Stella towards Stanley.

I have also framed most of the narrative with the song “I Dreamed a Dream”, a song juxtaposing a harsh reality against an idealised dream, in order to parallel metaphorically the state of Dorothy’s disintegrating life.


The sky was dark, illuminated only with the radiance of celestial bodies as Dorothy stepped forward from underneath the clock, her hair flowing like waves in the cool, evening air.  Her feet were graceful, carrying the air of a swan in its flight across an empty lake as she danced across the road.  It was the night - the night of her dreams.

“Jack!” Her arms stretched out as if reaching towards heaven as she embraced the young man, a replica of a Greek God in his brazen yet elegant masculinity.  His eyes opened wide, sapphires in their sockets, as he returned the greeting, kissing Dorothy lightly on the cheek. 

“You’re very beautiful tonight.  Are those white fox furs?”   Dorothy could feel his eyes running up and down her form, taking every inch of her in as she was made beautiful by the natural light in the darkness.  Dorothy had taken every care for her appearance, choosing her most ethereal white dress for the occasion.  Tonight was going to be a good night.

“Yes they are, but you flatter me too much.  Shall we be off?”

“If you insist.”

---

The Lavish Bull was a popular restaurant, famous for its specialty dishes and its high-class musicians.  There was a deep aroma of roasting meat as Dorothy walked through its door, a smell she kept in the recess of her mind as a waiter seated her and Jack by the window.    At the centre of the restaurant, there was a stage, upon which a woman was singing with a piano accompaniment to an entranced audience.  The whole scene reminded Dorothy of her youth – the beautiful clothes, dazzling lights, the gazing crowds. 

“Daydreaming, are we?” asked Jack, rubbing his hands up and down the menu.  The ragged edges of his face made Dorothy’s insides turn inside out; he was a match for her sent down by the divine.  Dorothy could feel people staring at the two of them from across the room. 

“Just reminiscing.  This all seems so very romantic – surely you’re not trying too hard all for little ol’ me?”  Something glinted in Jack’s eye as Dorothy mouthed her words, and he almost immediately broke into a smile.

“It’s my honour, Dorothy, to take the Crimson Goddess of my youth out to dinner.  Don’t think too hard on it.”  His voice seemed as sincere as it was beautiful to Dorothy – here was Jack, the greatest fan she had ever known of hers, expressing his devotion and admiration for a woman fifteen years his senior.  He was gorgeous.  He was delightful.  He was all hers. 

There was a time when men were kind, when their voices were soft and their words inviting… 


The woman on stage was beginning a new song.  There was something irresistible in the tune; Dorothy felt herself stepping up, moving towards the stage-light at the restaurants heart.  “I’m glad to hear it, Jack.  Let me give you a live performance to relive our memories!”

There was a time…then it all went wrong…

The singing woman paused, awkwardly staring as Dorothy stepped onto the stage and seized the microphone away from her.  There were murmurs; there was confusion.  Dorothy continued immediately.

I dreamed a dream in time gone by…

It was ecstasy, like stepping into a pair of old shoes.  Dorothy could feel the awe in the room from the perfectly still audience, watching as she – Dorothy Levitano, the  Crimson Goddess – sang, a familiar sight from ages past for a crowd of the new age.  The performance was hers;  she was the centre of it all.

I dreamed that love would never die…


---

“That was incredible.  What was that song, Dorothy?”  By the time Dorothy had finished, the meals had been served.  Digging her knife into the veal, Dorothy gazed at Jack, emerald eyes meeting the sapphires.

“A song from my youth,” she said.  “Before I was a pop star, I was a musical performer, and that song was my favourite…”

“You’ll have to sing it to me again later tonight.  When I take you back to my house, Dorothy.”

“Oh Jack, you’re everything I could desire.  You’re more than I ever had, more fantastical than any of my fans from back in the day.  I have trouble imagining that you exist sometimes, but here you are, all that I would ever need.”

“I love you, Dorothy.”

---

But the tigers come at night, with their voices soft as thunder…

The candles flickered softly, dancing like shadows as Dorothy’s fingers cascaded down on the piano, her voice resonating gently across the room.  She could feel Jack’s arms wrapping themselves around her, making her feel like the Queen of the World.  The spirits were creeping towards her slowly; the spiritual, the mystical, it was all culminating in her very being as she reached the highest point of her desires.

He slept a summer by my side...  He filled my days with endless wonder…

Jack’s fingers were trickling down the front of her dress, snakes from the Garden of Eden defiling purity from the beginnings of the Earth.  Dorothy did not care that she was sinning; she was the happiest woman on Earth, a girl living out her dreams of romance and love.

He took my childhood in his stride…

The piano stopped.  Filling to the top with the essence of love, Dorothy fell forwards, her mind going blank as her lips mouthed the next words.

But he was gone when autumn came…

---

Jack shook his hands, grasping for a towel as he tried his hardest to forget the night’s events.  He had taken the old hag out again, employing his usual routine of love and romantics in order to make his living.  She was blind as usual, failing to notice the anaesthetic in his hands as he pretended as always to fall for her singing.

Looking into the mirror, Jack did not like what he saw.  “I’m nothing more than a prostitute I guess.”  There was nothing Jack could do about his looks; he had not been God’s gift to women, but he was enough to at least pass off as handsome to relics caught in the past. 

“I should probably make sure her purse looks untouched…not that she’ll notice any of her money’s gone…”


---

And still I dream he’ll come to me…That we will live the years together…


There is something pleasant about waking up in the arms of the man who loves you, contemplated Dorothy as she opened her eyes to the darling of her universe.  “You’re a wonder Jack; you remind me of the men in my life back when I still sang.  I feel young.  I feel like I’m the Queen of the World.”

“Sing to me again, Dorothy.  Sing the rest of the song you were singing last night, before we made love to the heavens above.”  Jack smiled, dazzling with the intensity of a thousand suns.  Dorothy could not resist; the world was her stage, a gift handed down to her across the echoes of eternity.

I had a dream my life would be so different from this hell I’m living,

So different now from what it seemed…

Now life has killed the dream I dreamed…”


Title: Re: English Work Examples Directory
Post by: kyzoo on February 25, 2010, 11:29:39 pm
Illusions protect us from life’s harsh reality

WORK (Title lol)

Written Expanation

I kept the narrator nameless in order to keep the spotlight on Joe, who mistakenly believes that he is a genius who will obtain superior results regardless of how much work he does. Joe’s delusion is his way of rationalizing the excessive amount of time he spends on computer games. This is similar to Stella, who generates the delusion that Stanley is an essentially good man in order to cause her staying with Stanley seem acceptable (however Stella “needs” this delusion as she depends on Stanley, whereas Joe doesn’t have such a “need”).

Joe’s illusion protects him from the harsh reality that he needs to sacrifice some of his gaming time in order to achieve good academic results. However I show that having such “protective” beliefs only serves to ensure catastrophe. Like Blanche, Joe’s illusion causes him to become somewhat blind to the truth, which leads to him avoiding the problem at hand (Blanche’s refusal to reveal the whole truth directly to Stella), which in turn ends up in a catastrophic test performance. The teacher can be likened to Stanley as he 1.) Shatters Joe’s illusion just as Stanley shatters Blanche’s 2.) Imposes a reality (that you need to do homework) on his students that is then accepted.

Joe’s name is ironic because he is just an “Average Joe” contrary to his beliefs. I wrote from the perspective of Joe’s best friend so as to show the flawed nature of Joe’s beliefs regarding not having to do work. This is illustrated by the narrator’s experience of the test, and Joe’s demeanour at the end. To clarify, the narrator also mistakenly believes in Joe’s genius.


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was impossible to ignore the explosion: The rapidly expanding fireball; the distinct cacophony of grenade fragments ricocheting off the walls of the cloistered elevator. In an instant, five honourable, young soldiers had been eliminated. They had been trapped in the cage that was the elevator. There had been nowhere to run, nowhere to hide as the deadly grenade emerged from the vent in the ceiling. The merciless annihilation of the soldiers was promptly rewarded with a robotic announcement: “Terrorists Win.”

Joe was thrilled with his victory. He had just won a round of Counter-Strike, a first-person shooter computer game. The expression of intense concentration on his face had now dissipated into a relieved smile. But he had little time to rest. Within seconds yet another round had started, and once again Joe became the cold, efficient killer.

The continuous staccato of gunfire emanating from the loudspeakers was annoying me. In the same room, 2 metres away from Joe and seated at a tiny desk facing away from Joe, I was completing the Physics exercises we had been set for homework. Despite the iPod earphones feeding loud classical music to my ears, the noises of Counter-Strike pierced the pipe of music that were my earphones, and forced its way into my skull.

I was enticed to join Joe in his violent experience, but no, I was not like Joe, who was in his words, “One of those geniuses who didn’t need to do work.” I had no idea about Joe’s capabilities: we were both Year 7 students who had just started high school. But I presumed from his self-assured manner, and the fact that he was always the one answering the questions posed by the teacher in class, that he indeed possessed academic prowess that was beyond my grasp.

This was how my schoolday nights were usually spent. I would come home with Joe as my parents weren’t home until 8:30PM. Then after a snack generously provided by his loving mother, he would end up on the computer blasting foe after foe, and I would end up frantically completing my homework. We were best friends but I just couldn’t understand how he could ignore the pile of papers stacked on the table in the middle of his room, where I was now seated. When I asked him about it, he would remark flippantly, “I already know this stuff.”

The ability to know everything just by attending class and not needing to do any homework was something I desired. I wished that I could be like Joe, then I would be able to do whatever I wanted for the whole night. But I knew from past experience that I could not be like Joe. In primary school I used to never do my maths homework. I flunked maths test after maths test and eventually my teacher called my parents for a meeting. I had no desire to repeat the scolding I had endured that day, and I discovered to my delight that doing the set homework fulfilled this desire.

It was the following Friday, when the very first test of our high school career was held, that I would discover the extent of Joe’s prowess. Before this day, my image of school was of idyllic sessions in the playground. This perception would subsequently metamorphose into a stressful series of tests and exams. It was not surprising then, that this proved to be an enlightening experience for Joe and I.

We sat at our assigned seats. The teacher had taken care to separate the whole class and allocate each student to an isolated location in the hopes of preventing cheating. Identical copies of the test were being distributed to each student. A sombre silence permeated the classroom as this was done. I witnessed the nervous tapping of fingers on table; I witnessed other students molesting their own lips. I was nervous, and it appeared that I had infected everyone else with this ailment. Everyone that was, except Joe. His head was propped against his palm, apparently bored with this formal procedure of testing his knowledge when it was clearly unnecessary.

The teacher stood at the front of the classroom after he had finished handing out the papers. He started intently at his watch, and suddenly he gruffly announced, “Begin.”

I noticed that at that point Joe had not even begun to look at his test, but with the permission to commence writing I diverted my attention to the test. I was determined to succeed on this first test; I was determined to prevent any news of academic mediocrity from reaching my parents.

I was astonished as I scanned through the test paper. It was all familiar to me. Every single question had been copied verbatim from the homework we had been set over the last couple of weeks. I had seen it all before; I had done it all before. It was as if our teacher had been telling us all along exactly what was going to be on the test through the homework he had set. I was relieved, there was no way I could fail. I already knew all the answers. Victory had been guaranteed before I had even stepped inside the room.

And so the test fell swiftly to my mighty pen. I didn’t even have to think. Just as the questions were written verbatim from the set homework, I wrote my answers verbatim from my memory. I was a robot, running on a previously generated algorithm. Soon enough I was finished, and I exhibited a relieved smile similar to that which Joe had flashed following his ingenuous grenade play.

The intense concentration I had directed at the test was dispelled as it became redundant. The clock indicated I had finished 20 minutes early. I peered around the classroom and monitored my classmates. Some were sleeping, heads against the desk, having nothing else to do. Some had their heads down, entirely engaged with the test in front of them. And what was Joe doing? He was mechanically chewing on his pen, and an unbecoming paleness had occupied his countenance.
Title: Re: English Work Examples Directory
Post by: EvangelionZeta on March 26, 2010, 10:14:44 pm
Sample language analysis on the issue of Bill Henson, utilising two articles and an image:

With the recent controversies surrounding artist Bill Henson and his work, debate has become prominent over the legitimacy of a supposed breach on his behalf of child-protection protocols.  One written response to this, an editorial published in The Age on October 7th, 2008, contends that Henson’s situation is being misunderstood and unfairly condemned.  In contrast, an opinion article written by Miranda Devine for The Sydney Morning Herald argues that Henson’s actions are unjustified, and that the public should be wary of him and his work.  A cartoon published in The Australian supports the latter view, presenting Henson as somewhat untrustworthy and unwanted within modern society.  This issue is set to spark further conflict, primarily due to its relationship with the liberties artists are provided in their work, as well as its link to the safety of children within society.

Throughout their piece, the writer of the editorial attempts to soothe the reader into submission in order to allow them to better empathise with the view presented within the article.  By utilising a calm and rational tone, found in phrases such as “some perspective is necessary to consider the argument”, the writer coerces the reader into a mood of serenity in the hope that they will better agree with his view on the Henson controversy.  This feeling of calmness is then built upon through the writer’s use of colloquial metaphors, such as “at a skewed angle” and “blurred by time”, which position the reader clearly towards feeling as though the issue has been clouded by preconceptions and prejudice; this further allows the writer ample space to enter his own arguments.  Following this with decisive and absolute phrases, declaring that the issue is “not one of consent or of artistic motivation”, the writer attempts to influence his reader to view the issue plainly within the writer’s terms, drawing out an understanding that politicians and the media are completely misunderstanding the reality of the situation.

To complement the rationality of the piece, the writer of the editorial further invites the reader to feel sympathy for Henson through repeated emphatic appeals.  Across the piece’s entirety, the writer utilises reassuring phrases such as “his works reappeared…without fear of reprisal” and “whose parents, approached by the principal on Henson’s behalf, declined” in order to humanise Henson, pressuring the reader into feeling as though he is trustworthy and legitimate.  Contrasting this against the powerful appeal that “Henson continues to be unfairly depicted” then characterises Henson as a victim, allowing the reader to better empathise with the artist’s position and acknowledge the writer’s primary viewpoint that Henson is misunderstood.  Closing with condemnatory phrases such as “they become prejudicial” and “should be more restrained” is then intended to leave the reader with a lasting impression of Henson’s innocence, as though he is being unfairly treated by the society at large.

In contrast to the reasoned approach the editorial takes, Devine’s opinion piece delves heavily into the reader’s psychology by appealing heavily towards their fear for the children of society.  The very title of the piece is infused with derogatory connotations; calling Henson’s escapades “A creepy visit to the playground” provokes the reader towards immediately dismissing Henson through the portraying of him as a stalker-like figure.  By then following up this characterisation with decisively anger-instilled quotes such as “Frankly I think it’s disgusting” and “a betrayal of trust of parents”, Devine is promoting a sense of outrage from her reader, who is encouraged to view Henson’s actions as an alien threat to society’s well-being.  Appealing to the concerns of parents in highlighting the potential dangers of “the sexualisation of childhood”, the “perfectly reasonable fears about paedophilia” and the necessity for “the protection of children” also contributes to this effect, positioning the reader to acknowledge the broader implications of Henson’s artwork itself and to see it as undermining contemporary values which shield children from outward threats.  

Devine’s piece further attempts to inspire an antagonistic attitude towards Henson and his supporters throughout its entirety. The sarcastic tone utilised in the piece’s opening, coupled with the black humour in the imaginary letter detailing how “Bill Henson…would like you to consider having your child pose naked for him” promotes a flippant attitude from the reader, who is encouraged to view the Henson and his actions as something akin to the absurd.  Providing description of shocking imagery in Henson’s previous work of “spreadeagled naked girls with dead eyes, budding breasts and blood smeared on their thighs” further adds extra power to the reader’s established hostile attitude against both Henson and Henson’s art.  Rebuttal of Henson’s supporter’s statements in the decisively antagonistic rhetorical question “Who said anything about child abuse” also evokes rejection on the reader’s behalf of the views of those who sympathise with Henson, adding further weight to Devine’s side of the argument.  Compounding this is Devine’s unifying call for “Ostracism” in the piece’s closing, which is designed to leave the reader rejecting Henson and all which he stands for.

Like Devine’s opinion piece, the cartoon published in The Australian vilifies Henson, portraying an almost absurd scene of a grotesque Henson infiltrating a serene schoolyard.  The cartoon features a glum-looking Henson, characterised by a comically oversized head with exaggerated features in order to make him appear filthy and disgusting, or possibly as a being abhorred by society.  This is designed to inspire the viewer towards antagonism against Henson and his supposedly socially unacceptable ways.  Juxtaposition of Henson with frightened looking children drawn in an innocent art style further accentuates this effect, highlighting the ones Henson is possibly threatening in order to draw out feelings of disgust towards Henson and concern for the children.  The comic text of the cartoon “Maybe he’s one of those arts bandits” is also a deliberate pun on “ass-bandit”; in reducing Henson to the absurd in this manner, the viewer is positioned to distance themselves from the absurdity of Henson’s art, similar to the sarcasm Devine utilises.  All in all, the image seems to support Devine’s argument, acting to defame Henson and purporting him as outrageous and unwanted within society.

Both articles and the image work to characterise Henson for the benefit of their viewpoint, encouraging the reader to feel antagonistic towards the opposite of the writer/cartoonists’ stance.  The editorial from The Age focuses primarily on soothing the reader whilst simultaneously inspiring them to feel sympathetic towards Henson’s side; in contrast, Devine’s opinion piece acts to inspire fear and concern from the reader amidst creating disdain for Henson’s work and persona.  The approach of the latter is also taken up by the image, which works to create anti-Henson sentiments within the viewer through vilification and reducing Henson to the absurd.  As shown by the diversity in these arguments, the issue of Henson’s actions is likely to provoke further debate over where art’s boundaries lie and how far society should prioritise the safety of its children.
Title: Re: English Work Examples Directory
Post by: Akirus on April 04, 2010, 10:45:25 pm
Still playing around with context, but I figure I may as well post what I've done. Far from perfect, so read with that in mind. If anyone wants to give me feedback, my inbox is always open.

Quote from: The prime instigator of conflict is fear. - CREATIVE #5
   Athara is beautiful.

   She stands tentatively before me, an innocent smile drawn lightly across her dainty features. Her brilliant, azure blue eyes stare into mine, glittering ever so resplendently with a tint of orange in the evening light. Today, her silky brown hair is unbound, and it whips elegantly in the soothing breeze of summer.

   I cannot breathe for shock. An angel has stopped my heart.

   There is intrigue written across her face, wondering why I called her out like this. I want to speak, but I cannot. My body is trembling uncontrollably in my boots, excitedly. She looks confused at my silence and draws a step closer to me, and I can almost feel her soft breath on my cheeks. An expansive, lush green plain spreads infinitely to her rear, a true miracle of the world. Joyous birds chirp merrily atop fabulous trees and soar through the endless blue of the sky. There is a quaint little lake not far in the distance, sparkling with a dazzling sheen of rich colour. Yet, my eyes see it not. There is only Athara.

   “Is something the matter?” she asks me curiously.

   “I-it’s...” I swallow nervously. “It’s a lovely day, isn’t it?”

   Athara laughs, smiling at me. “That can’t be why you’re looking so flustered, right?”

   I shift my feet tentatively, unsure how to respond. “Athara, I-I...”

   Lord, what am I doing? There’s no time to be a coward. I suck my breath in deeply.

   “Athara... I love you.”

   My eyes are staring straight into hers. I’m trying my best to be firm, but I can feel myself shaking with adrenaline. Surely I’m wavering weakly. Any moment now, I expect it; revolt, disgust, contempt. Rejection.

   I’ve done it now. I can almost see the fires of hell beckoning me into oblivion. It’s all over. My mind is blank in fear.

   But I can’t stop.

   “You are... Athara, you’re so very precious to me,” I continue. My voice is about to collapse. “I-I want to be with you, for, for as long as I live. Ah...” I rub my face forcefully, trying to push some sanity back into my hollowed head. “Will... will you marry me?”

   No doubt about it, I am flush with embarrassing red. I can feel it burning in my cheeks. Athara steps back from me, sighing. A cold, iron fist wrenches at my chest, the fear devolving rapidly into dread.

    “I’m sorry, Lane.” Her cheerful countenance has been replaced by a pitying gaze. A false laugh escapes my dry throat. I want to cry.

   “Am I not good enough for you?” My vocalisation has been reduced to a breaking whimper.

   “I... I love you too, Lane.” She turned away, blushing shyly. “It’s just... you’re just a soldier. You don’t have a house, you have no money, and you might not even be alive after next year. I... can’t rely on that.”

   You see, I have never cried before today. My name is Lane Fatebrough, and I am a vassal of the Holy Queen of Athinor. Last year, I was captured by the enemy, and two of my fingers were cut off with scissors. My back is covered in whip lashes; the flesh is torn to shreds. Another time, two months ago, we were surrounded in a narrow defile. There was almost no chance of escape, a completely hopeless battle. I escaped with my life while most of my comrades were slaughtered. It was terrifying, brutal. Even so, I have never cried.

   Why, then, is there a bitter taste trickling into the corners of my mouth?

   Weak. 

   I wipe my gloved hands across my eyes, letting the liquid soak into the fabric. It is a coarse material and it feels horrible against my skin, but that’s what I need right now. That is because she is right. I am just a mere soldier, a pawn amongst many. I have no business troubling the woman I love as I am now.

   That is why I will grab fate by the neck and bend it to my will.

   “Athara.”

   “Are you okay, Lane?” Her graceful eyes are watery. “I’m not trying to hurt you, i-it’s just...”

   That’s an excuse, but it does not matter. It is irrelevant.

   “Athara.” I seize her wandering gaze. “It might seem strange to you, but...” I laugh heartily. “I don’t think I can give up on you.”

   She turns away again. “I’m sorry, Lane, but...”

   “Don’t say anything more. Whether you want me or not now... that does not matter. Not at all.” Athara’s expression changes to a note of surprise.

   “But why..?”

   “I love you, Athara.” I smile warmly, reassuringly. “If I am not good enough today, then so be it, but I won’t give up. I’ll keep fighting for you. If not this year, then the next; if not the next, then the one following; one day, I will become worthy of your hand. I swear it. I will never abandon you.”

   “Lane... why are you doing this?” She is crying. “I cannot promise that I will wait for you, always... I... don’t want that to happen. I don’t want to hurt you. And I don’t want you to die in a faraway land, fighting pointlessly for me.”

   “The reason why I will fight so desperately is very simple. It’s because nothing will make me happier than to be with you. For that, I can give my life.”

   Athara is speechless. She cannot comprehend why I can stand there smiling even after my heart was crushed, even though there is no hope on the horizon.
But it does not matter. It is irrelevant.

   I leave her standing motionlessly, walking away to the battlefield of my life. And as we part ways, I say it once more. And this time, I am sure she understands.

   “I love you, Athara.”

Experimenting with heavy dialogue. Oh, and my ability to be a massive romance fag.

-

Quote from: Ignorance is the main reason that conflict occurs. - CREATIVE #6
   Why?

   I did not understand. I did not understand why strange people I never met were ravaging my sister’s struggling body on our now bloodied floor. I did not understand why these men, fellow children of God, were ransacking my home. I did not understand why my father and mother, why the people most beloved to me, lay lifeless and mutilated. I did not understand why such villains were bidden to exist, why such pain had been brought into life.

   I implored the infinite kindness of God; “Deliver me from this evil. Please save me.”

   That is all I thought as I was dragged across the room by the hair like a sack of wheat. My mind was lost, confused, blank, and unable to fathom the madness that had engulfed me. I did not plead nor weep. I only placed my faith in His absolute will, trusted in the goodness of His designs.

   But God did not help me. 

   Not as fiends set fire to my house, not as they tore my clothes to shreds, not as they violated the very sanctity of my being; nobody saved me. Even though I was but a child, a young girl not even thirteen years of age, He did not rescue me from the tens upon hundreds of criminals forcing themselves into my very being. That is the moment I began to open my eyes, as if I had awoken from a deep sleep.

   That is the moment I finally understood.

~

   I know it very well now. I know why, although I had done no wrong, misfortune befell me. I know why, as I look down into the fields below me, chaos rages in a turbulent clash of death and suffering. I know why, even though God created everything, evil men are made to walk freely on this land. I know why He has abandoned us.

   This world is rotten.

   I’m sure He must be sighing pitifully as he looks down on us from His heavenly utopia. When God sees us pit our miniscule lives against each other for meaningless causes, I’m sure He must weep, asking ‘why do these little humans fight and kill each other so?’ As he sits atop his eternal throne, surely he scoffs condescendingly at our ever conflicting existence, at those who were banished from Eden and have no choice other than to fight.

   But it is no matter.

   I need no saviour. If we are denied by God, then so be it. I will survive through my own power. Perhaps, that power was tiny, insignificant, and perhaps it may still be. Yet, because we are always fighting, that power can grow. It can change. No, that is not quite right. I will change it. If we are not given justice, if we are not given love, no matter; I will create it, with my own two hands. If we are not given utopia, I will build it. And one day, when it is my time to pass away, when God finally welcomes me through his gates, I will refuse Him, and I will tell Him that my place is here, in this paradise I will create, imperfect though it may be.

   I belong right here, where I will fight until the end of time. 

Kinda incomplete (too short), sorta ran out of ideas but I liked it too much to scrap. Draws ideas from the manga titled Vinland Saga, which I recommend to anyone who hasn't read it yet.
Title: Re: English Work Examples Directory
Post by: Akirus on April 04, 2010, 10:51:03 pm
Post too long, so I broke it up.


Quote from: When one encounters conflict, they never truly forget. - CREATIVE #1
   For this creative piece, I detail a brief recount of a talented and respected young girl whose past is filled with traumatising conflict; these age-old wounds are brought back to life by certain triggering events. Such happenings can deeply afflict even the strongest beings. However, although she may not forget these scars, I attempt to show through Yuiko that they can be overcome and even turned to advantage. People mature as they rise to confront their conflicts, both past and present.

   The setting is a high fantasy (that is, an alternate universe to our own, wherein supernatural elements may exist); this is to implement another degree of flavour to the presentation of the theme. As a stage for conflict, it is also arguably more suitable, as in such a society, large-scale conflict is of much greater frequency due to the relative lawlessness as opposed to modern standards. Moreover, such a style caters (intentionally) to a much wider demographic; sophisticated readers may appreciate the depth, whereas younger audiences could purely enjoy it as an interesting tale.

   It draws loosely from the concepts of warfare explored in the Rugmaker of Mazar-e-Sharif; it’s impact on both the state and the people. The powerful state of Athinor, ruled by its highly competent autocracy, demonstrates the prosperity that can be achieved through effective management of the sovereign’s conflicts; this is portrayed through the setting introduction such as where Yuiko is patrolling the joyous households. Yuiko’s personal experiences are intended to reflect the effects that it can impart on individuals.

   One more point of interest, the character of Akirus Keldeth is intended to serve two functions: one, as a mysterious element to spark interest, and two, as a catalyst for the plot. His implied, nigh-divine nature is a centrepiece for Yuiko’s emotions; he brings out her feelings and her potential. This helps her shatter the invisible, psychological boundaries blocking her road, culminating to the climax of the piece.


   Yuiko drew her breath slowly and let out a deep sigh, a small cloud forming before her supple lips in the chilly winter morning. Her petite, feminine hands were gloved in thick cotton, yet that didn’t stop her from rubbing them together furiously, as if the tiny friction would generate enough heat to oppose the nigh-arctic weather of the Athinorean  solstice. The patrol route she was assigned was covered in knee-deep snow and it took a doubled effort to even walk. As if to spite her attempts at preserving body heat, the snow melted against her heavy garments, dragging the young girl’s burdened body furthermore and sapping the remnants of her dwindling strength. It was piercing, both physically and mentally. The frosty sensation sent trembling shivers through her veins and tore through her skin and mind like glacial spears.

   Although no more than a young girl seventeen years of age, she didn’t complain, grumble or whine. At her waist she carried a short knife and other minor implements for self-defence and discipline, should there be any unruly thugs roaming the seemingly empty streets. Within the modest, middle-class houses she guarded, celebrating families were joyously indulging in a rich breakfast, riddled with laughter that seeped through the creaks in the doors and windows to Yuiko’s ears. In the far distance, the beginnings of a grand parade could be heard, a loud commotion as more and more people gradually flocked to the festive stands and stalls in the centre of the city. But the girl did not mutter even a single word of protest, her gentle yet firm azure blue eyes locked in resolve. Yuiko did not waver, gruelling conditions or otherwise. For one, it was only morning; there were still many hours preceding her comfort. How could she succumb so quickly? Of more notable importance though, she was a Sorceress of Excelion , a blessed retainer of the ordained Athinorean queen.

   That isn’t to say it was her duty to cruelly suffer with no end. On the contrary, it wasn’t her duty at all. By all means, it was Yuiko’s privilege as a noble Lady to be seated beside her compatriots and her queen in the majestic castle looming over the country from its position in the middle of the world, in the very highest and royal room reserved only for the most eminent persons. But if somebody were to enter it, they would find it a desolately empty place. By this hour, the queen of Athinor, being a near warlike entity, would be up and about, drawing up schemes with her brilliant strategists for a campaign or another, and her fellow Sorceresses would be doing the exact thing as her: safeguarding the sacred motherland. It was in her genuine love that she acted with virtuous vigour, not an imposed obligation. That is a Sorceress of Excelion; a maiden not only talented, but of spirit both noble and pure. In the origin of Yuiko and her kinswomen, a distant land many leagues away, children were raised thus: to love that which they possess and contend for it to the ends of the Earth. Had Yuiko been staring into a spiralling inferno towering thousands of metres above her tiny figure, let alone than a mere trifling winter breeze, she would not have shied.

   In her unrelenting vigilance as she paced through the freezing cold, the blurry sight of an approaching figure caused even Yuiko to have a lapse in concentration. It was not a criminal come to do harm, or a suspicious looking wanderer with a drooping hood drawn over his face. Nor was it a long lost brother, although to Yuiko he may as well have been. It was Akirus Keldeth, the immortalized hero of the lands.

   Akirus was not a spell-weaver like Yuiko or her comrades, but his unparalleled acts of heroism approached divinity rather than mystic. His bloodless capture of the capital city Thine , the Neuva Massacre  in which he butchered over two hundred assassins singlehandedly in the Garden of Thorns, his defence of Ascendera  in which he repelled ten several legions with only one thousand men; without doubt, he laid the foundation of New Athinor. No single man or woman, girl or boy did not know the name of Aeldra Lord Akirus Keldeth with reverence, respect and even fear, for those who might oppose him. In short, he was a rule-breaking miracle-weaver, a non-magician of the highest order, known by the people as “God’s Hand”; such was his reputation that for a commoner to speak the name was seen an unwritten offence to providence.
 
   To Yuiko, too, he was a great man whom she admired. However, for those personally acquainted with him, Akirus Keldeth was more than just a matchless enigma. He was a confidant beyond simply trustworthy. In a sense, he tied everyone around him into a tight-knit family of sorts. He was the type of man who could and did inspire unfound strength or crippling terror to his every surrounding, as if an unexplainable aura emanated from his towering figure. Unbeknownst to the scrutiny of public rumour, Akirus was an irreplaceable friend to many, whether they were brothers in arms, or young girls with a secret but understandable fancy for and dependency on the handsome lord. Yuiko’s face was flushed with pleasure at his long-coming return. Of course, although she’d never have admitted it at the time out of fear of inadequacy, she was one such maiden unwaveringly drawn to the allure of his amazing personage.

   “Akirus!” she called out excitedly, waving her arm at him with renewed energy.

Now, one thing must be said about Akirus Keldeth. He was not an expressive man by nature. Although he often appeared as the vibrantly animated Aeldra Lord before his men, he was otherwise very passively indifferent. Very seldom did he smile or laugh, nor did he frown or show frustration and anger. It was not that he was unhappy or depressed. No, there was no soul that enjoyed life more than him. Perhaps, it was just another degree of his composed charm.

   This being said, he did not smile in return or raise a signal of acknowledgement. Yuiko was not displeased regardless though, and rushed towards him therefore. With a fantastical leap, she pressed herself against his tall body and wrapped her slender arms around him in an intimate embrace. Again, he showed but apathy, simply allowing the small girl to continue as she pleased.

   “Have you been well?” Akirus asked softly. Not that he treated her with especial tenderness; his voice was almost always near-inaudible and gentle, as if it displeased his very being to raise it. She didn’t let him go to provide an answer. Many years ago when they first became acquainted, she learned in the midst of fire, chaos and five hundred marauding pirates that true friends did not need to exchange words. Comrades in spirit, together with whom they challenged death, side by side, were connected on a higher plane. Maybe that was the reason he was so verbally reserved. Lame though it may be, her thoughts conveyed through soul.

   After what seemed a very lengthy period, Yuiko released him, giddy with happiness as evident all over her body. They then sat down and conversed until the sun had travelled across the horizon, first regaling each other with recent exploits and then an inner conversation between inseparable siblings. As mentioned prior, a Sorceress of Excelion is disciplined to the highest standard; for her to collapse into negligence for such a time as one day was something only Akirus Keldeth could cause. It was soon though that night fell, and duty called him to return. Hence they parted ways, not of longing, but deep appreciation for the precious moments granted by fate. As peacefully as he came, Akirus disappeared into the distance, raising an arm in farewell behind him.

   It happened as she continued her almost forgotten self-duty of patrolling the empty avenues, which were now covered in the shadow of the night. Yuiko’s head was still in the clouds, a dainty expression drawn explicitly across her girly countenance. It was a moment of supreme carelessness and foolishness, for a pretty girl as her to stride the desolate, dark roads without heed of her surroundings. When they suddenly fell upon her, seven or eight rugged thugs from the shadows of nearby alleyways, she hadn’t even the mind to retaliate. They gagged her from behind with a poisoned cloth and subdued her without even the slightest contention.

~

   Yuiko opened her eyes, watery as they can be from unconsciousness. At first it was completely black, transitioning to a blur through her tears before attenuating into the image of a musty, dimly lit basement as her vision adjusted to the darkness. Her mind jolted immediately; as soon as she regained a semblance of mental balance, she noticed it. There were thick cords tied around her thin wrists, binding them tightly behind her back. She tried to exclaim in shock, but a heavy piece of tape was drawn across her lips. Stretching her senses further yet, it became apparent that her body was sprawled across the floor. Yuiko’s outer garments, too, were removed; to her side, she noticed her heavy woollen cloak stacked messily atop her other articles of clothing. Nothing but her creamy, silk-like skin, which was now covered in minor cuts and bruises and some very sparse underwear fended for her vulnerability.

   For a moment, nothing seemed to register with Yuiko’s consciousness. A sharp sear tore through her mind like a burning flash. Like a dam being broken, they flooded into her thoughts, deep and buried memories of her fallen homeland. The nightmares came in force: the horrifying sight of tens upon thousands of merciless invaders, the relentless fires scourging the countryside, the shrill screams of terror resounding through the putrid atmosphere, the nauseating smell of blood, her father and brother bludgeoned into oblivion with steel bats, mother and sisters brought to death through barbaric violation, she herself sitting terrified and helpless in a hidden corner before they seized her to render a similar fate as her family. How could such terrible memories have eluded her all this time? Yuiko’s bound body trembled uncontrollably, even the last vestiges of her composure vanishing into mind-throbbing convulsion.

   Somewhere to her rear, a creaky door was pushed open and rugged brigands poured in like famished hyenas. For criminals to survive in a city under the absolute authority of the Athinorean High Command demanded the utmost skills and as such, these men were vagrants of the finest calibre. Without hesitation, they surrounded the wide-eyed girl, derisively abusing her with their dirt-caked boots. One of them stooped beside Yuiko, a malicious grin almost escaping right off his face.
“To think we caught one of the royal wenches,” he mused viciously, noting her regal insignia as he crushed it underfoot. “What should we do with you little girl?” It was a question in spiteful jest. “I’m sure your vain, whorish ‘sisters’ would pay an arm and a leg for you. But you know...” His smirk grew even greater still. “We aren’t too big on money. Do you understand what that means?” Laughter blazed in chorus.

   “Aye. It means tonight we dine in hell, gentlemen.”

   Everyone whipped their heads in unadulterated surprise. Standing by the door, with his hands nonchalantly pocketed to either side stood Akirus Keldeth in his full glory. Although there was nothing different in his actual facial features, the dangerous context almost exuded a menacing, devilish hint of bemusement from his visage. He stood outside beneath the now clear night sky, moonlight invoking a sparkling glitter in his powerful blue eyes. At his coming, they parted like the Red Sea, disappearing into hidden doors and tunnels without shame. Nobody was insane enough to contest that monster willingly. Those that remained were trickling with sweaty anxiety. Speedily but without removing their eyes from the despairingly foreboding man standing by the door, they grabbed hold of Yuiko, fending off Akirus with a knife placed threateningly against her throat.

   “D-don’t come any closer,” they stuttered nervously. Their apprehension was brutally blatant. Those still standing were edging to the doors, trying with their every effort to escape the disaster. Akirus ignored them.

   “Yuiko.” Akirus’ voice was still and emotionless, yet icily deep, slicing through the room like a razor. “Look at me.”

   Her eyes focused slightly at his voice, almost in joy for what seemed certainly to be salvation. But his next words betrayed her every expectation.

   “Yuiko.” His gaze penetrated into hers. “What do you think you are doing?”

   Tears ran down her cheeks.

   “Yuiko.” He took a step forward. “Have you already forgotten?”

   Her mouth opened, but no sound escaped her lips.

   “Yuiko.” A stern expression crossed his features. “Why do you shirk?”

   She shut her eyes tightly, no longer able to receive the full brunt of his presence.

   “Yuiko.” Akirus pointed upwards to the stars. “Your slain kin and comrades are watching you from above. You are despising their memory.”

   “Silence!” the bystanders yelled frantically, no longer able to contain their rapidly escalating stress. “We’ll kill her if you move another inch! Stay back, fiend!”

   “Yuiko.” He clenched his raised hand into a resolute fist. “Stand and fight. I am here beside you. I believe in you.”

   “Go to hell!” Five of them brandished crude daggers and rushed at the terrorizing hero furiously, a final act of desperation. But they never took the second step.

   Yuiko screamed; an expression of her resolve, an actualization of her courage. A chant flowed smoothly and quickly from her lips, bringing forth from her fingertips a dazzling light that scorched the vicinity. The brilliance was immeasurable as it exploded through the room, illuminating it with a saintly glow like a holy purge. It was instant, gratifying and irresistible. Her soul had materialized, more radiantly than the brightest star. She was truly alive.

   “I can see it, Yuiko. You’ve grown.” A slight, yet excited chuckle escaped his otherwise emotionless demeanour. “Sorceress of Excelion indeed.”

Hm... as you may have noticed, it's way too long at around 2500~ words (yeah, I got carried away). Other than that though, my teacher liked it, apparently. At least, I enjoyed writing it.
Title: Re: English Work Examples Directory
Post by: spaciiey on April 21, 2010, 06:41:20 pm
This is by no means perfect, but it did get an a plus. It was done under timed conditions.

“No matter how much we admire Sir Thomas More, it is the Common Man that we can identify with.”
To what extent is this true?

Bolt’s play, A Man For All Seasons, tells us of Sir Thomas More’s immovable conscience and strongly based principles. This is aided by the Common Man, who is both narrator and extra character rolled into one. The Common Man’s actions in the play are easier to understand to an extent, especially with a modern audience, however it is clear that Bolt wishes for us to question his actions. The Common Man’s affirmation of this, by calling himself the derogatory term “rat” and calling more a “lion” confirms to the audience that More is indeed the one to admire.

The Common Man’s own observations of More are also confirmation of More’s strengths. He mentions that More is incredibly giving and rarely, if ever, says no, to the extent that if someone asked him for something he was unwilling to give, he would be “out of practice,” foreshadowing the events to come, but also highlighting the extent of More’s generosity. Furthermore, he also offers a deeper insight into both his own character and More’s character, by saying “it is perverse to start a play… with me,” and by drinking some of Sir Thomas More’s wine behind his back. The fact that the Common Man believes that it is “perverse” to start a play with him is a hint to us that he is not the man we should admire, and the fact that he drinks the wine behind his master’s back is confirmation of this. Furthermore, the fact that Sir Thomas More laughs this off offers an accurate and early insight to his character, demonstrating that he is indeed the one we should admire.

An example of one of the questionable actions from the Common Man is when he is interrogated by Chapuys, Cromwell and then Rich. Of course, the Common Man does not give any man any information worth their coin, saying things such as “Sir Thomas prays for an hour and a half,” and yet gives each man information that they deem relevant. Although one may say this is due to the loyalty towards More, we see that the Common Man only “serves one” master, himself, when he pulls out the “enormous cross” in mockery of the Chapuys. During the questioning from the other characters, the Common Man is paid “more than [he can] earn in a fortnight,” demonstrating how he will do anything for money, as long as he is not “out of [his] depth.” This is something that a modern audience can identify with, as almost everyone is motivated by money to a degree. However, it is clear that Bolt wishes for us to condemn his actions, too, or at least question them. One of these times is when after leaving the employment of More, the Common Man is seen working for Rich, even though he had said earlier in the play “that one’ll come to nothing.” This highlights the “fluid” beliefs of the Common Man, in direct contrast to More’s steadfastness to his conscience and beliefs.

During the course of the play, More faces many adversities in the shape of Cromwell, the King and Rich, because he does not swear to the Oath.  However, to More, taking an oath is similar to “holding oneself in his own hands, like water,” and hence More’s beliefs lead him to say that taking this particular oath is like asking him to “change the colour of his eyes”, and therefore, impossible. More’s ability to stand by his beliefs in front of everyone else highlights his strength of character, a trait that Bolt wishes for the audience to admire. What makes this even more admirable is that even after justice has deserted him, indicated by how “the trappings of justice are flown up,” and even when his death is near, More is able to take it so “blithely” due to his strong faith and beliefs. A modern audience may find it difficult to understand somebody dying for the sake of a belief, however, a vast majority of the modern audience should be able to understand dying for a cause that they believe strongly enough in, such as dying for one’s children or family, indicating how there are aspects of More’s behaviour and decisions that we can indeed identify with.

Society of the time was very corrupted, and there is proof of this, from the Common Man telling us at the beginning of Act Two that “imprisonment without trial” and “torture” was a “common practice.” Furthermore, Cromwell’s employment as “the King’s Eye” and his willingness to “make laws” to suit also provides evidence to the extent of corruption at the time. Hence, one should admire More’s wish to hide “in the thickets of the law,” even with Cromwell and Rich cutting the laws down. It again illustrates how strong More’s beliefs are, to think that he can hide in the law and get away with it, amidst all the corruption at the time, believing that the other characters will not commit perjury as it is More’s belief that if he did so, he will die and be condemned forever. More’s willingness to let the King have everything from “his house” to “his arm” instead is another admirable trait of his; More's loyalty cannot be matched by any other character in the play. The fact that he would do anything for the King as long as he can follow with a “clear conscience” is an action that Bolt wishes for us to respect and also admire.

In the alternative ending of the play, the Common Man concludes with the statement “if we should bump into one another, recognise me.” This can be interpreted two ways: bumping into the Common Man himself at a later time, or coming to the realisation that there are aspects of the Common Man in us all. If one is to go off the latter interpretation, then one could also assume that we are to question these aspects, through the Common Man’s actions throughout the play. There is no doubt that Sir Thomas More is the man we are meant to admire in the play, and that there are, to a certain extent, aspects of him that a modern audience can relate to. However, a modern audience can also relate to aspects of the Common Man too, however unsettling it may be to realise this.
Title: Re: English Work Examples Directory
Post by: spaciiey on May 14, 2010, 07:30:07 pm
Context: Encountering Conflict

Style: Creative-expository hybrid

“In many situations conflict can be avoided.”

(note, this was a 50 minute in-class response)

Trying to get through the Senior’s corridor after lunch is like trying to part the Red Sea – except, you’re not Moses. Sweaty, brawny bodies are crammed against one another like sardines, and everything is so stale and flat that breathing the air is just stifling. Then, the boys – I hesitate to say “men” – barge in, full of energy and impatient after an hour of running around. Suddenly, one of them becomes too impatient, and pushes his mate in front of him. Toppling over one another, like dominoes, everyone in the corridor becomes a tangle of arms and legs and feet. Now, all the boys are pushing and shoving each other, as payback, as the indignity of falling so ungracefully is just too much to bear, and people are tripped and jammed into locker doors. The girls all roll their eyes in disgust and try to shrink away into the corners, as an attempt to stay out of the fray. Then, before the teachers can stop it, one boy has fallen so that he has a cracked skull and concussion. But, was it really necessary?

Conflict cannot always be avoided, but we can see there are many situations where conflict is unjustified and should be, or could be, avoided. The above is one such example of this. Had everyone just been more patient, had no one retaliated after falling down for the first time, the situation could most likely have been avoided. We can also see examples of where conflict should have been avoided in Grenville’s The Secret River. When Thornhill first encounters the aboriginals on “his” land, it is clear that the Aboriginals do not wish to fight. Instead, they wish to compromise. However, Thornhill snubs them, and he even attempts ot provoke one, by slapping him, and is completely oblivious to what the Aboriginals are trying to tell him. Had Thornhill listened, it is likely that the massacre towards the end of the novel could have been averted, and he would have been spared the sight of seeing heads “crushed purple,” and body parts hanging off by a mere “strip of ragged flesh.” Furthermore, no one need have died out of both the Aboriginals and white settlers.

Tom Blackwood is an example in The Secret River where Aboriginals and white settlers can indeed live harmoniously, and compromise. Through his conversations with the Aboriginals, he makes a deal with them that he will “stay on the beach”. Such is the extent of Blackwood’s relationship with the Aboriginals is that they even accept him, as he is willing to adopt some of their ways, eating their daisy yams and even taking an Aboriginal wife. This is of contrast to the actions of Thornhill: when he sees the yams, he dismisses them as weeds, throwing them away and therefore, leaving the Aboriginals with less food to eat. Also, he takes all of the fertile land in the area, leaving none for the Aboriginals. Because he does this, the Aboriginals understandably feel as if they need to instead take what Thornhill has planted, as they have not enough food to eat. This angers Thornhill, so he attempts to fight with them, but it is clear that that was a particular conflict that could have been avoided, if he was more willing to follow the concept of “give a little, take a little.”

Of course, by avoiding conflict, one can inadvertently create it, too. Through the actions of Blackwood, it means that he causes discontent among some of the other settlers, in particular, with Smasher Sullivan and Saggity Birtles. It is clear from the way that they talk to one another, that Blackwood dislikes Smasher and Saggity, and the same goes for the other way around. This escalates to the point where they even have a fist fight, and Smasher vows that Blackwood will be “sorry” for what he has done. Had Blackwood went along with the views and values of Smasher and Saggity, they would not have fought with one another, but he would have instead caused further conflict with the Aboriginals instead.

Sometimes, among friends, misunderstanding can also breed conflict. Let us take this as an example: one of your friends promised to meet up with you, but never did. You could take it personally, assume that the person is ignoring you, and then call them up and fight about it. But is forgetting one little promise a good indicator of friendship? Most likely, no. It is most likely that the friend simply forgot, or had other things on his or her mind, and did not really mean to. Hence, fighting with that friend was unjustified, and it also could have easily been evaded by having a little more faith.

The giving and receiving of constructive criticism can also create conflict, but more often than not, this kind of conflict can also be prevented. Sometimes, the person receiving the criticism may feel as if the person who is critiquing is making a personal attack, even if it is not so, and therefore, may lash out and an argument may ensue. It may be a personal attack, but more often than not, it is a mere criticism of the work itself and not the person that did it, and hence there is no malicious intent. This argument could have been averted, had the person receiving the critique been more receptive, and had the person been in a different frame of mind. On the other hand, perhaps the conflict could have been avoided on the other side, too: had the person giving the criticism perhaps used more eloquence, and was not so blunt, then the criticism may have been taken the correct way.

There is a plethora of situations where conflict could be avoided, but on the same token there are just as many situations where conflict is inevitable, and this must be acknowledged. But, it still cannot be denied that there are situations where conflict is unjustified, like the poor boy with the cracked skull and concussion, and therefore, where conflict could have been avoided.
Title: Re: English Work Examples Directory
Post by: Akirus on May 27, 2010, 12:08:54 am
Quote from: 'In the middle of conflict lies opportunity'. Growth can come with conflict.

Through my narrative of a young girl’s plight and journey into maturity, I present several notions and ideas on conflict, inspired by the implications conflict has on growth in The Rugmaker of Mazar-e-Sharif. Paralleling Najaf’s unwilling involvement in the wars that ravaged Afghanistan, I tell a tale of a helplessly innocent princess as her provisional life is mercilessly shattered by conflict. In doing so, I reflect the implied inevitability of conflict, as exemplified by the Rugmaker, in my own rendering. For princess Exyss, the heroine in the story, the conflicts she experiences are as much a ‘trial from God’ as they are for Najaf; through her struggle into the turbulence, Exyss’ developments as a person demonstrate the challenge to our true selves provided by conflict and the subsequent  consequences that will inevitably ensue.

However, in contrast to Najaf and indeed many of the characters he describes, my heroine stands on the other side of the spectrum, the first world western country to Najaf’s Afghanistan. In creating this stark comparison between the two, I highlight the enrichment that hardship and conflict has on one’s life, implying a hollow existence devoid of any self-meaning in the ‘fortunate’ princess, who is essentially given everything without effort, ‘unable to even walk on her own two feet’. Whilst the wars and conflict Najaf was forced to endure brought great pains to his family, they bestowed upon him the capacity to appreciate life and the potential to mature as a person. Exyss, although in possession of dreamy material riches and luxuries, was unable to see any value in them, simply taking them for granted and thinking them nothing more than a given. In essence, she was nothing more than a caricature of her father the king’s absolute power. The origin of her character were born from the philosophical notion that conflict is fundamental to growth; in that vein, Exyss embodies my belief that people cannot move forward unless they are first challenged. The rapid advancement of her character, as shown through the powerful character development throughout the piece, was an opportunity born through her father’s death; a priceless chance afforded to her only through the most unfortunate of conflicts.
Furthermore, it was my intention to show an opposing outcome to Najaf’s, revealing a newfound resolve to reject God in the princess following her insight into the true nature of the world. That is, conflicts have consequences whose impacts are never singular in form. The princess gains strength, independence, insight, resolve; however, at the same time, her humanity, purity, innocence and faith is shaken and even possibly irreversibly broken in light of her former childhood as an untainted blossom. In having her beliefs and understanding challenged, rapid developments were made possible in a few moments surpassing her entire life. It is my intention to highlight all forms of effect on her identity to provoke deeper consideration from the reader as to whether the conflict the princess experienced was indeed a positive or negative influence.

The language choices I have used are meant to reinforce the fictional, high-fantasy setting in which the story is established. Complementing the depth of ideas, the story is written to be provoking and engaging, using powerful description and heavy contrast to draw the reader in. Without undermining the sophistication, the writing form is to be accessible beyond the educated young adult demographic, extending into a teenage audience by means of stylistic enticement. That is, the creative ingenuity should be sufficient in itself to captivate a less educated reader. I attempt to achieve this through the use of interesting plot and inspiring/empathetic character development.


I never knew what it meant to live.

As a child, my days were passed idly in lavish luxury, a pampered princess with every desire imaginable on the tip of my tongue. My clothing was excessively exquisite, with huge diamonds and dazzling gems lining the gold-laced dresses that displayed my father’s boundless eminence. Two diligent attendants were always by my side ready to address my every whim, with another entourage at my beck and call. Nobody was allowed to look me in the eye; the respect afforded to my royal blood far exceeded my non-existent merits. My living quarters were immense, with a bedroom spanning the entire length of the hall, large enough to accommodate a small village. The royal palace was my playground; I was the master, and none dared cross my path. A fabulous garden directly adjoining my room, a gift given to me in admiration of my peerless beauty, entertained me every other day, a life of indulgence spent frolicking amongst the vibrant colour of Mother Nature’s full glory. My silky, crimson hair and fair, creamy skin had earned me repute as an angel, a pure innocent being that transcended the imperfect world.

I know, very well now, that I was not.

Today I am the Arbiter of Fate, the Goddess of Victory, a world conqueror, but I was not born this way. No, I was a mere fool, an ignorant whelp that had not stopped suckling on the parental teat. My life was controlled by the wealth that protected me, shielding me from the cruel nature of reality.

I was not truly alive.

Alas, nothing on this earth is eternal. On the seventh year of my meaningless life of decadence, my father, the royal king of Athinor passed away. His death was tragic, for he was a benevolent monarch, beloved by all for his virtue and kindness. It marked a new era of political turmoil, the turbulence that wiped clean the material excess that had encircled my life. That day, I was plunged into a world of new experiences; my untainted eyes were coloured by the bloody happenings of reality that had always eluded me. My beloved father was lost to me, and the life I had known was destroyed beyond salvation. Yet, I do not regret it with even an ounce of my soul, a morsel of my heart, a piece of my mind. It was like the pain had awakened me from a deep slumber.

I was reborn.

Everything that happened from then was like a rush, a dam unleahed without warning onto m life. It began when my brother insisted on employing food testers, and I was shocked to watch them collapse before me in violent convulsions, blood spilling from their eye sockets as they writhed uncontrollably in pain, rolling pitifully on the floor. I was quickly rushed from the scene as I passed out in horror, but that memory has always remained vivid in my memory. At that time, I was nothing more than a lost, little girl.

When I finally came to my senses, my nostrils could smell the scent of distant smoke. It was a new sensation to me, and the putrid stench quickly induced rapid expulsions from my stomach. My belly, which had begun grumbling, confused me, too; amidst the frantic atmosphere at the time, I had only just first felt the nagging of hunger. Nothing seemed to piece together in my head; I was absolutely overwhelmed.
It was my uncle that was the first to approach me. With a reassuring smile, he beckoned me to follow him with promises of sanctuary. As would an imbecile, I blindly fell for the seduction of his honeyed words and false appearances, not even suspecting in the slightest that he meant to do me harm. My ignorance was so great that I could not even detect the abundant malice oozing from his filthy face, eyeing me with greed.
The path he led me through damaged my person. Riots were rampant and sedition was afoot; the royal palace had become a burning inferno, its grand hall littered with lifeless bodies. A mass of blood had coloured the expensive, velvet carpet a deep red, the vile smell of rotting flesh attacking my sensitive nose. Reality had pierced my life without mercy; the evils that had previously been unknown to me reared themselves in my terrified face. I began to realize just how little I knew of the world, of life, of myself. I peered into the deepest recesses of my being, but I saw nothing, for I was nothing by myself. The substance that had embodied by life had been ripped away, leaving nothing behind. All that I could see was a disgusting, wretched shell.

I was nothing. 

My mind stopped functioning. I had reached my limit. When my uncle, whom I had believed to be nothing but a benefactor, ruthlessly cut down the men pleading for his mercy, I stirred inside. Something had finally snapped; the light emanating from my eyes had changed. The world around me seemed surreal, like a bizarre nightmare, even the uncoagulated blood that had splattered onto my face and trickled into my mouth. There was nothing. I could not taste it. Each new terror that confronted me was a dream, as if I could not believe all of these things were real and that they had hidden from me all along. I was locked in a cage of unending nightmares, a hell isolated in my mind beyond my wildest imagination. I may as well have been a newborn infant, a baby lamb waiting to be ripped to shreds unsuspectingly by the hungering jaws of a wolf. I did not know what to do. I did not want to do anything.

I could not do anything.

It was at a moment of reprieve from our pressing march that it happened. I knew nothing of the biological functions of men, or even people. The unit that had been escorting me, of course, was comprised solely of male soldiers; I know that now, but I did not then. The day had been long. Everyone was weary and covered in wounds. That was the extent of it, I thought. It was a great surprise to me as the twenty-odd fiends surrounded me and began manhandling my petite, virgin figure, exuding insatiable sexual tension and lust. I moaned in agony, my voice pleading for help, my mind imploring, desperately, the infinite kindness of God. I would have struggled had I the strength, but it was a futile effort with my frail frame. Excruciating pain pulsed through my veins, an endless night of brutal torture, as if I was being physically torn apart and desecrated.

I could not do anything.

When the sun finally rose to illuminate the darkness of my mind, I did not see nor notice it. I was huddled in a corner, a stony lifelessness setting across my stricken features. I was awake, but unmoving, a rough cloak wrapped loosely around my violated body. For a while, not a sound escaped my lips, not even a whimper of suffering, or a sign of life. I was paralysed in my own thoughts, but it eventually dawned on me, like a divine revelation.

This world is rotten.

God had abandoned us, leaving our miniscule fates to our own, flawed devices. Banished from Eden, we were cast aside, a world that is neglected, and a place where God’s mercy does not extend. Nothing was spared to us, an ugly blemish on His eternal creation. Nobody saved me, delivered me from evil.

I was alone.

Almost subconsciously, I rose to my feet, a ruthless impulse driving my body. I lifted a small dagger that one of the sleeping soldiers had set down. The guards in charge of my supervision were complacently dozing to the side. It was cold in my hand, an ominous icy sensation, yet it was like I could not feel the chills it sent through my spine; I was number with insanity and madness. I had been baptised by fire.

Chaos surged through my veins.

With a swift movement, I plunged the implement through a guard’s throat. He did not even have a chance to scream as I cut open his fleshy neck. One by one, with heartless efficiency, I gutted them like livestock. The last of them regained consciousness as I pushed the bloody knife into his mouth, and I had the opportunity to see the light leave his eyes as he stared, terrified, into the absolution that was mine. I slaughtered twenty men by my own hand like cattle.

I do not need God.

Not his condescending ‘kindness’ as He gazes at us pitifully from above nor His holy blessing, thrown to me in sympathy; I do not need His heavenly kingdom, His ultimate power, His unlimited mercy. If we are not accepted into God’s domain, the garden of Eden, then so be it. I will make my own place and build my own utopia, my own kingdom. I will rule all under Heaven. With my own two hands, I will surpass God. And when it is finally my turn to pass onto the next realm and through the gates of the otherworld, I will smirk, spitting back in His face. And I will tell him this.

“My place is right here, on this very Earth.”



I wrote this piece for my first context SAC and I liked it enough to type it up. Enjoyable to write and read (for me, anyway). Timeframe was 1.5 hours. SOI is italicized.

For reference, the grade was an A+ with all criteria ticked in the highest column, although it was cross-marked 4 times and apparently one teacher didn't like it because they couldn't see the point (thank god for SOI). Teachers comment:

Very detailed explanation. Probably too much. Could have been simplified. You do articulate connections to 'The Rugmaker' and he chosen prompt. Good opening. Established setting and protagonist's privileged life. Structure works well. Breaks between paragraphs with short, sharp sentences to highlight key points works well. Lovely descriptions. Reader is engaged in the world that you create. Sets the scene of an ignorant and naive protagonist that grows as a person as a result of conflict. The story is told from the perspective of someone reflecting upon who they were; could have had a bit more reflection on what they became - it is there but mainly implied.

Title: Re: English Work Examples Directory
Post by: alannah on June 24, 2010, 10:06:57 pm
This was a practice comparative language analysis (two articles, one cartoon) completed in February on the issue of public transport. It received a 19/20, and I got 20/20 on the actual SAC on another topic.

The early months of 2009 were a bleak time for our public transport system- with Ms Kosky as Minister for Transport, the government and Connex receiving mass scrutiny and criticism from commuters and the media alike for an array of blunders affecting Melburnians. Arising from the media frenzy came Graham Currie’s opinionative article (The Age 01/02/09), calmly and rationally asserting to all Melbournians that responsibility should be placed on the “ failure of infrastructure” that which “level-headed planning” could possibly amend.

Currie initially gains the reader’s attention with his colloquial headline, rationalising that “cool heads [are] required” before “we blow our stacks and really go off the rails”. Here, Currie promulgates the notion that we must “cool” down by providing a parallel, his over-zealous choice of phrase resembling our media’s tendency to “blow [their] stacks” and indeed, issues out of proportion. This is cogent in instilling doubt in the reader as to the validity of the reports pertaining to the transport system they have been exposed to, thereby allowing us to be more receptive his subsequent arguments. Currie then highlights the “political parties blaming each other, government blaming the operator and the operator blaming train drivers”, a continual diversion of responsibility ensuring the amelioration of our system is never obtained. The cumulative impact is an evocation of reader exasperation with these respective entities, due to their incapability to unify thus address the more pertinent issue of why the heat is affecting our trains so adversely. As if anticipating the reader’s demand for an answer to the aforementioned question, Currie supplies his “very simple” riposte that “Melbourne trains are not designed to work at high temperatures and they never have been”. In less then 20 words, Currie simplifies a seemingly complex issue by clearly and logically framing the reason for our ineffective system, which serves to enhance his reasonability and credibility to the reader as well as undermine the bodies whose responsibility it is to provide such logic. Moreover, Currie inclusively concedes that “most readers might consider this an unreasonable situation” yet follows this with the assertion that “it is a fact nonetheless” that our trains are not made to work in extreme weather, diverting and alleviating the reader’s indignation with the oft-blamed entities by underscoring that it is the actual trains themselves that are not able to function.

Currie then generalises that “governments of all persuasions have… led to a railway that won’t run in heat”, yet dogmatically declares that “even the world’s best rail operator couldn’t reliably run trains not designed for heat”. Here, Currie positions the reader to retract their erroneous blame on Connex/Lynne Kosky by putting our system on a global scale, highlighting that an expectation for trains to run reliably-when they are not made to, is ‘universally’ flawed. Currie then details the “100 million plus investment” necessary to “run trains” “over 40 degrees”,  posing “[if] it is worth hundreds of millions of dollars to get trains to run reliably on…one day a year?”.  Subsequently, there is an appeal to the reader’s hip pocket nerve that triggers an instilment of doubt pertaining to the reforms so widely demanded, as they may absorb an exorbitant amount of taxes for just “one day”. However, Currie concedes that “the case for upgrading is probably getting better” as  “ we are now experiencing more than one day a year at [over 40 degrees]” due to climate change. Currie ensures his reasonability is retained with this evenhanded statement, the inclusive language permeating all readers in the increasing temperature “we are now experiencing”, yet his calm reasoning reduces the reader’s usual resentment with the system. Furthermore, Currie confirms consonantly that “rail ridership has skyrocketed”, then demands whether it “would be better to have new services to an expanded group of users all year or heat-resistant trains on existing services for about one day a year?”. The juxtaposition of  “all year” and  “one day a year” is cogent in accentuating the irrationality for “heat resistant trains”, providing an example of investment that could consistently ameliorate each commuter’s use of the train network every day. This reasoning is promulgated effectively to the reader, evoking a partiality towards the practical “all year” option. 

Towards the denouement of the article, Graham puts forth his solution to commuters, asserting “to cool it” and “to cope, they can plan ahead, plan earlier, allow more time for trips and prepare for delays”. These simplistic yet optimistic suggestions appease the reader, as there is an inference that if they follow these suggestions “there [might] a relief in sight”.

Starkly contrasting Currie’s hopefulness for the future is the defeatist and bitter Letter to the Editor by Sue Kitson (The Age 23/03/09), contending that the “daily experiences of frequent users” of public transport, such as herself, have eventuated in her “giv[ing] up” entirely on trains as a mode of transportation. Her pessimism is apparent to her Melburnian audience even from the title “ That’s it. I give up”, the contraction and sombre tone sparking the reader’s curiosity as to the contents of the article.

 Kitson begins by establishing her credentials “ as a yearly Met ticket holder for several years”, her reliability and authority on the contentious issue recognised by the reader by her frequent commuting. Kitson then creates the imagery of her “state of Zen when standing on train platforms, only demonstrating the odd public outburst when it got all too much to bear”. The reference to a “state of Zen” carries the inference that train platforms are always chaotic, resulting in a conscious effort by commuters, such as Kitson, to reach a state of calm to inhibit an “odd public outburst”. Also, it suggests that these times of chaos are so frequent that this “state of Zen” was easily achieved. Thereby there is an evocation of empathy for the commuters exposed to such consistently unsatisfactory conditions on these train platforms.  The loaded language pertaining to the “impossible” summarisation of the “too many incidents” that frequent users are exposed to serves to evoke feelings of frustration in the reader, that these negative incidents are becoming almost innumerable.   Moreover,  does Kitson list some frequent occurrences, gloomy imagery mounting till “ [it’s]just the next scheduled train morphing into the missing one”. In this imagery Kitson effectively frames the hopelessness and predictability of our system, eliciting anger that this cruel cycle continually repeats without government or Connex’s intervention.

There is a tonal shift as Kitson to one of more contemptuousness as she asserts that she “cannot wait” to stop using the train, “forced to drive…to get to work on time” as she “cannot trust.. Public transport”. Here, Kitson simultaneously evokes sympathy as to her plight to getting to work on time as well as propagates her condemnation of public transportation to the reader through the use of negative words such as “cannot” and “forced”. Kitson then places direct responsibility on Minister Kosky and Connex, stating that she “gave it [her] best shot” but “[they] have broken [her]”, the placement of responsibility on these two bodies ensuring, most effectively, the reader’s most pejorative denunciation of their actions, or inaction.

Similarly, Mark Knight’s political cartoon (Herald Sun 30/01/2009), mockingly contends that the “heat is on” for Lynne Kosky to fix our failing public transport system. His audience is clearly depicted in the emotional commuters in the foreground of the cartoon, some dejected some livid, but nevertheless Melburnians “unhappy” with Lynne Kosky’s efforts as Minister for Transport.

A lady stands the bottom left hand corner the frame; head down, literally and figuratively unable to look at the utter chaos that is our train system. Here, Knight underscores the “train wreck” that our system has become, evoking exasperation that it continues to worsen to a stage until we cannot bear to even “look” at it anymore, without any government intervention. Another commuter, a male, stands in bottom right hand corner, contemptuously turning to stare at Ms Kosky. This disdain is propagated to reader, a feeling of affinity with the man ensuing, reassuring the reader their feelings are echoed throughout the state. Moreover, all three commuters stand ironically, their backs to the isolated “customer service” desk containing Lynne Kosky, symbolic of a government unable to “reach out” to their public. In this instance Knight accentuates the alienation felt by all Melburnians as their demands continue to be ignored. Thereby, this elicits righteous indignation by appealing to the reader’s sense of entitlement to a functional government.

Inside her insular bubble, Ms Kosky sits rigidly, analogous for months on inaction to fix our transport woes. Here, Knight ensures the reader’s condemnation of such stagnancy of our government, encouraging them to be conducive to reversing our government’s inertia. Kosky herself is depicted in dark shading, her sunken eyes and gloomy attire exemplifying, symbolically, a government overwhelmed by the pressure it is under. This depiction results in the evocation of pity towards the government, simultaneously enhancing Knight’s even-handedness. On the wall of the secluded desk, is a thermometer that has reached the highest temperature and has burst, mercury flowing, symbolic of a situation that has reached “boiling point”. This accentuates the severity of the situation to the reader, inciting our anger that it has continued escalate to such a “temperature”. Whilst metaphorical fans attempt to “cool” the situation, Knight’s speech bubble in the right hand corner sarcastically imparts, “but it’s a dry heat” to Kosky, who is feeling the heat, irrespective of whether it is “dry” or not. Knight’s denigrating remark is reminiscent of various government excuses and actions that did not detract from the fact the people were suffering due to an dysfunctional train system. Thereby, Knight promulgates the lack of empathy held for Kosky to the reader, by reminding the reader of times when the government has tried to make light of our situation.

The platforms in the peripheral of the cartoon extend into the distance, filled with faceless masses waiting for a functioning train. Knight reminds us of the “long-reaching” affects of our failing system, reaching to the suburbs and to all the public, a warning which urges the reader to place direct responsibility on Lynne Kosky and the government to start to preform their duty.

Whilst Currie reasonably avows that “cool heads” are needed for a long term solution to our public transportation, Kitson defeatedly contends that she, as a frequent commuter, is giving up on transport system due to her daily negative experiences.  Likewise, Knight asserts that it is at “boiling point” for Lynne Kosky to ameliorate the transport system, however, his approach is far more mocking of the government.
Whilst Kitson’s imagery of  ‘not enough room to squeeze in until the third train” simultaneously evokes the reader’s sympathy and exasperation with such sub-par conditions, Currie’s use of imagery to canvass “ thousands of hot, angry passengers”, serves to engender the reader’s more direct feelings of anger. Similarly, Knight’s literal imagery of commuters encourages the reader to emulate their feelings of contemptuousness and dejection with the train system. Currie provides a solution to our transport woes by simplistically and inclusively avowing “it’s time to cool it” that is similar to Knight’s inference that if the government “cools down” with the symbolic “fans”, they will be able to preform their duty. This starkly contrasts the resolution put forth by Kitson, to “give up”, a despondent attitude that is propagated cogently to the reader, supported with dreary imagery throughout the article. Currie’s figurative language “screaming for heads to roll” highlights the public’s negative tendency to beseech retribution when they are wronged aims to embarrass the reader for such conduct, starkly contrasting Kitson’s figurative statement that Minister Kosky and Connex “have broken [her]”, the negative connotations with the word “broken” ensuring the reader perceives the aforementioned two bodies as villainous. However Knight’s use of figurative language in the label “the hottest place on Melbourne” does not seek to place blame, instead accentuates the ramifications of the situation to the reader - an extremely strained relationship between commuters and the government that is “boiling” hot.

Knight’s political cartoon attempts to strengthen the unanimous resentment towards Lynne Kosky in his pitiful depiction of her, evoking contempt and anger towards her and her government. However, Currie’s opinionative article seeks to calm the reader’s indignation with the system, amongst the media “fury” pertaining to the issue .  Contrastingly, Kitson intends to incite a felling of hopelessness and defeat towards the train system, creating an overall cynicism towards the government’s inertia in the issue.
Title: Re: English Work Examples Directory
Post by: EvangelionZeta on June 28, 2010, 09:48:50 pm
Illusion protects us from life's harsh reality.

In many ways, human living is dependent on illusion of some kind.  Rarely will our day-to-day experiences be perfect – there will be moments when reality is simply too much to bear, or when we must shy away from what is true by indulging within our own fantasies.  Of course, between different circumstances illusion will manifest in different forms; we may distort reality to our liking in a fashion that renders it otherwise unrecognisable, or we may simply exaggerate simple facts to suit our own needs. At times, the act of doing this may be necessary, particularly in cases where acknowledging the harsh, objective reality of the world would compromise the very essence of our existence.   However, this is not to say that our illusions will remain absolute to us; in its totality, there will quite possibly be situations where reality will force its way into our minds, regardless of whether or not we want to acknowledge its existence.  There may also be circumstances where the paradigms we create are simply impractical, leaving us unable to function properly without dispelling them to some degree.  Similarly, times will arise when our self-created images of reality are in fact more destructive than what is actually the case, meaning that rather than keep us safe, our illusions are detrimental to the stability of our lives.  When considering the multitude of possibilities which illusion can lead towards, it would thus be prudent to acknowledge that our own imagined realities are essentially a doubled edged sword: they may protect our being from the dangers of the outside world, they might falter under the pressure of a superior force, or they may be the cause of our demise in tandem with life’s very harsh reality.

In light of our humanity, it would be foolish to disregard the fact that there will always be situations when a dependence on illusion is necessary.  Such a scenario may arise when we are desperate, or when acknowledging only what is real would destroy our ability to cope with our vision of reality.  This notion is exemplified in Tennessee Williams’ play, A Streetcar Named Desire, wherein the protagonist Blanche DuBois essentially personifies the human need to indulge in fantasy.  For Blanche, objective reality is akin to a nightmare; she is afflicted with alcoholism, traumatised by the life she has left behind, and her surroundings are that of a ghetto-like suburb inhabited by the play’s brutish antagonist Stanley Kowalski.  Understandably, Blanche copes with this by veiling what is true with a self-created image of her very self, and for much of the play, she opts to pretend that she is a virtuous and affluent young woman, superior to the environment and individuals she finds herself around.  The effectiveness of such a defensive mechanism is characterised by the staging: most significantly, a paper lantern is detailed in the stage directions as covering the light bulb in Blanche’s residence for most of the play, emphasising that by creating her illusion Blanche is protecting herself from the harsh “light” of reality.  In this way, it seems possible to recognise the power of our own self-created realities as a method of protection from life’s harsh reality; just like Blanche, it seems there are times when we must call upon illusion to preserve the state of our souls.

Of course, the extent to which our fantasies may protect us may nevertheless be insignificant in comparison to the power of harsh reality itself.  It seems impossible that illusion will stand up forever, and often the destructive forces of objective reality will lead towards one’s own version of reality becoming utterly obliterated.  Drawing on to A Streetcar Named Desire once again, this potency in reality’s influence is witnessed in the fate of Blanche at the hands of Stanley.  In spite of the extent to which Blanche attempts to protect herself with her illusions, Stanley ultimately triumphs over her by raping her, driving her insane and leading her towards being sent away to an asylum.  The utter brutality of this process is – like Blanche’s illusions – characterised by the physical presence of the theatre, with the atmosphere in the stage directions following Blanche’s rape being described as “raw, lucid”, which, for Tennessee Williams, is emblematic of Stanley’s monstrous masculinity.    That the play also ends with the phrase “This game is seven-card stud” similarly indicates that the masculine environment of reality has won out, signifying that in A Streetcar Named Desire, the harsh truth of the world has won out over Blanche’s self-driven illusions.  For us then, the message is clear: just as Blanche’s fate exemplifies, illusion will not always hold up to harsh reality, even when it is employed to protect us from simply that.  

In other situations however, it may be that the illusory paradigms we create for ourselves may need to actually embrace aspects of reality, or else our freedom or our potential will be restricted.  The cause for such situations vary, but more often than not it will simply be practicality which acts as the catalyst for illusion to mould itself into something which more closely resembles objective truth. History has shown this to us time and time again: in any regime built upon information-control, allowances are invariably made eventually to allow the nation to harmonise with the state of the outside world.  Such was certainly the case with modern China; during the middle of the 20th century, the People’s Republic of China was a nation immersed in an illusory cult-of-personality revolving around Chairman Mao Zedong.  For the time, the Chinese government’s self-created fantasies were such that Mao Zedong was regarded as a flawless idol, often referred to as “Saviour of the people” or “the red sun in our hearts”.  However, as the People’s Republic of China began to rise as a more prominent nation within the world, what was effectively brainwashing had to be relaxed; nowadays, the fact that Mao Zedong is treated akin to any other prominent political figure has led to China becoming all the more well regarded on a global scale.  This indicates that illusion often needs to change or even dissipate in order for the individual or the nation to survive, and thus for the purpose of self-protection, it may be possible for a once defensive illusion to be discarded by an entity for the greater good.  

In light of this, incidents may also arise where even in the sight of a better reality illusions are not discarded at all, leading to fantasy becoming more harmful than helpful at both an interpersonal and intrapersonal level.   This is usually the case in particularly extreme cases of illusion, where one’s own version of reality is almost entirely different from the objective truth of the world.  Once again, literature provides plenty of examples of this, but a particularly significant one is found in Ian McEwan’s novel Enduring Love, where the nature of a harmful reality is exemplified entirely within a mentally ill character named Jed Parry.  Jed Parry suffers from an affliction known as erotomania, which induces him into seeing the world as revolving around an imaginary love-life between himself and the novel’s protagonist Joe Rose.  Although this paradigm of the world offers Jed solace to an extent, to those around him, this mental disease is the primary cause for hazard; in particular, Joe becomes paranoid and even has his life threatened as a result of Jed’s undying love for him, indicating the potential destructive properties towards those around us our illusions may possess.  Not only this, but Jed’s fantasies are in fact a detriment to his own being, as by the novel’s denouement, Jed has been admitted into an asylum due to the potential threat he represents to everyone else.  In this sense, it seems prudent to acknowledge that illusion, even when employed for protection, may be harmful, not only to the people who inhabit objective reality, but also to us.  

The understanding that arises then is that in its totality, illusion can prove both detrimental and beneficial to the state of our being.  Often, life’s harsh reality will necessitate our reliance on the fantasies we project around our souls; however, there will nevertheless be times where the overwhelming might of truth will overcome the power of our illusions, causing them to break.  Furthermore, there is a fine line between illusion being a help and illusion being a hindrance, and if we wish to co-exist with others it seems that we must acknowledge that at times illusion is possibly harmful or otherwise stilting our growth as individuals and as a society.  Humanity should thus acknowledge the multifarious nature of illusion and its relationship with life’s harsh reality; for the preservation of our existence, we must recognise both illusion’s merits and its undeniable faults.
Title: Re: English Work Examples Directory
Post by: EvangelionZeta on June 28, 2010, 09:56:42 pm
A Farewell to Arms is concerned with Frederic Henry's growing understanding of both love and war.  Discuss.

Within its sweeping war-drama narrative, Ernest Hemingway’s A Farewell to Arms centralises the figure of Frederic Henry, whose growing understanding of both love and the conflicts surrounding him serves as the novel’s main thematic focus.  Frederic’s characterisation is evolutionary; initially, he is depicted as an individual reluctant to embrace a deeper appreciation of his surroundings, opting instead to lead a directionless lifestyle of indulgence.  Circumstances, however, force him to change, and as the novel progresses Frederic learns not only to condemn the meaningless war he is immersed in, but to also partake in a wholesome lifestyle within his romantic relationship with Catherine.  Nevertheless, this point of epiphany is not the denouement of the novel, and within the context of the ending, it is also worthwhile to consider A Farewell to Arms’ deeper engagement with not only a flourishing individual, but also the malign universe set out on destroying it.  In spite of this nihilistic development, however, it is clear that A Farewell to Arms’ builds much of its ideological exploration upon Frederic Henry himself, bringing to the fore its meaning through the protagonist’s character development.

At the outset of A Farewell to Arms, Frederic is portrayed as an individual lacking in purpose or any deeper understanding of life.  Frederic’s philosophy early in the novel can be best described as living for the moment; he does not consider the future implications of his actions, seeing life as a process that is “all and all and all and not caring”.  This aspect of Frederic’s being is furthermore reflected within the very nature of his work.  As Catherine comments, it is “an odd thing [for an American] to be in the Italian army”; Frederic’s very existence seems highly out of place, and Frederic himself admits “there isn’t always an explanation” for one’s actions, implying a lack of understanding on his part for his role as an ambulance driver.  The superficiality inherent within Frederic’s modus operandi is also manifested within his attitude towards Catherine, who he treats as an object in “a game” of seduction; it is, as thus, possible to identify Frederic as living an empty life in regards to his pleasures, akin to what Rinaldi describes as being “all fire and smoke and nothing inside”.  Given the lifestyle he gradually evolves from, it is hence applicable to consider A Farewell to Arms as concerned with Frederic’s growth; in examining his origins, it becomes apparent that his character may only evolve from its primordial nothingness.  

Building on from these beginnings, Frederic’s continually flourishing awareness of love becomes highly significant to both the narrative and Hemingway’s thematic explorations as the events of the novel unfold.  Obviously, Frederic’s appreciation for Catherine grows further into their relationship, and come Book II, Frederic openly professes “I was in love with her”, signifying the maturing of his desires.  More worth consideration, however, is the ultimate state of the relationship between Frederic and Catherine; by Book V, the couple view themselves as “the same one”, indicating the extent of which Frederic’s adoration for Catherine has transformed.  At an initial level, this is obviously important in regards to it illuminating aspects of the central protagonist’s – Frederic’s – development, indicating how Frederic is able to achieve “an even better time” in living through partaking in a deep and meaningful love.  Beyond this however, the evolution of Frederic’s relationship serves a thematic purpose in highlighting the ethereal nature of love, a concept as pure as “the snow” and “the mountains” associated with it.  A Farewell to Arms thus utilises Frederic’s romance in both a storytelling and an ideological sense, marking the manner in which his love changes as central to the novel’s entirety.  

Similarly, Frederic’s experiences in war and his heightened understanding of human conflict become essential within the context of A Farewell to Arms as a whole.  As the novel progresses, Frederic becomes increasingly philosophical in relation to his thoughts about fighting; in one manner, this may be seen as a result of those around him, such as the priest, whose words “It is in defeat that we become Christian” embody Frederic’s eventual realisation that war is an endless cycle.  Simultaneously however, Frederic’s own self-discovery builds upon the words of his acquaintances, evident in instances such as his introspective reflection over how he “had seen nothing sacred” in his partaking in war.  Like his discoveries about love, Frederic’s progressive understanding of war works at multiple levels, developing the depth of his character but also illuminating how “abstract words such as glory, honor, courage [are] obscene” in comparison to the greater reality of conflict.  In this light then, it is possible to regard Frederic’s “farewell to arms” in being “out of it [and] having no more obligation” towards the Italian army  as a thematic exploration of war’s significance; along with witnessing Frederic’s evolution, the reader is brought to comprehend Hemingway’s condemnation of war, embodied in his comparing its importance to that of a “floorwalker”.  As such, Frederic’s growing awareness of war serves to accentuate the novel’s ideological significance alongside merely assisting in the creation of character.

In spite of these more majestic discoveries, however, Frederic’s evolution in A Farewell to Arms is nevertheless underpinned throughout the novel by nihilistic pessimism.  Although Frederic gradually builds upon his empty existence through love and introspection, there is still a continual underlying meaningless prevalent within the context of his universe; this is reflected upon in comments such as “The world breaks every one”, which indicate Frederic’s reality is one determined to destroy its subjects.  More specifically to Frederic himself, however, this becomes significant in illustrating the intrinsically worthless aspects of a journey of self-discovery.  That everything Frederic has obtained – Catherine, his life away from war and his child – is relentlessly destroyed come the novel’s conclusion reflects an essentially pessimistic view of the world on Hemingway’s part.  As Frederic references, “they kill…you in the end”; this statement, coupled the comparison between ants being “burnt and flattened” and humans dying, constructs a vision of life as devoid of any greater significance, ending in a fate of despair no matter the individual.  Within the context of the novel in its entirety then, it is thus possible to acknowledge A Farewell to Arms as not only dealing with the greater appreciation of life Frederic obtains; rather, there is an element of tragedy in the novels depicting how human life is ultimately worthless.

What nevertheless follows is that A Farewell to Arms is very much concerned with Frederic’s development as an individual, constructing both its narrative and thematic exploration around his growth in understanding of love and war.  In considering Hemingway’s novel as a whole, it would appear prudent to suggest the reader understands ideology through character; Frederic’s progression is more or less the reader’s own, as Hemingway develops his ideas through Frederic’s own realisations.  Hence, without its central figure, A Farewell to Arms achieves nothing in attempting to elaborate upon the subtler aspects of humanity; it is only in appreciating Frederic that an appreciation for the resplendence and the darkness of life emerges.  
Title: Re: English Work Examples Directory
Post by: EvangelionZeta on September 05, 2010, 07:56:19 pm
Richard asserts his determination to “prove a villain”.  Does he succeed?

Against the backdrop of his Machiavellian takeover of England, the protagonist in Shakespeare’s Richard III serves as a caricature of evil incarnate, ensnaring the world around him in his web of darkness.  From the outset of the play, Richard of Gloucester establishes that he intends to play the role of the villain, and indeed, this intent manifests within his actions, as he triumphantly commits one vile murder to another in pursuit of the English crown throughout much of the play’s narrative.  Moreover, Richard’s villainy is so potent that he successfully brings those around him into his influence, either manipulating others for his own use or adding them to his list of allies and confidants.  In spite of his early gain, however, Richard is not seen as a perfect villain; he is, upon his ascent to the throne, seen having his influence crumble and his hold over England lost, and, come the denouement of the play, even Richard himself is unable to ignore the damning nature of his villainous role.  Despite his eventual fall, however, Richard’s determination to prove a villain is every bit successful for much of the action of Richard III, and it is undeniable that he is, for the most part, the very visage of a victorious evil.  

Throughout the action of Richard III, the audience is aware that it is essentially in the nature of Richard’s character to take the part of the villain.  This facet of Richard’s nature is established right from the beginning of the play: in his opening soliloquy, Richard indicates that he is “subtle, treacherous, and false”, acknowledging internally that as a person he represents nothing but villainy.  Richard’s penchant for darkness and chaos is also revealed within what is essentially his motivation for evil, as he relates that he wants to “leave the world for [him] to bustle in”; from this, the audience understands that Richard is a figure not only immersed in, but also motivated by evil.  Beyond this, Shakespeare also constructs other characters’ perceptions of Richard to implicate him as intrinsically a villain, most notably from the Duchess of York, who decries Richard as a “false glass” of nobility and “bloody”, revealing that alongside Richard himself, those around Richard recognise him as a malignant figure.  Hence, when assessing the success of Richard as a villain, it would be prudent to consider that from his persona, Richard is intrinsically an evil figure, and thus, one fully capable of flourishing in what is dastardly.  

Building upon his villainous interior, Richard commits numerous acts throughout Richard III which indicate he is successful in his determination to prove evil.  Drawing to the opening of the play again, Richard immediately displays the triumph of his villainy in his murder of Clarence; the magnitude of Richard’s evil here is exhibited not only in the fact that it is an act of fratricide, but also in that Clarence ironically trusts Richard completely, believing “he loves me, and holds me dear”.  Alongside this, the murder of Hastings and Elizabeth’s supporters cement Richard as being emblematic of malevolence in his being: particularly in Hastings’ proclaiming “O bloody Richard!  Miserable England!”, the audience is positioned to see Richard as spreading death and destruction throughout the land, cementing him as a figure immersed in pure evil.  Finally, Richard’s ordering of “the tyrannous and bloody act” of the Princes’ murders is constructed to be the epitome of villainy, causing even hired murderers to melt “with tenderness and mild compassion”.  Judging from the passing of these acts, it seems impossible then not to recognise Richard as a figure easily moving from one murder to the next, bringing to the audience an understanding that Richard does in fact prove a villain as he declares.

Simultaneously, it is impossible to regard Richard’s villainous actions without also considering the vile influence Richard has on others.  In particular is Richard’s wooing of Anne; within this particular act, Richard inverts natural order by obtaining a woman whose “husband and his father” have been murdered by Richard.  Furthermore, Richard’s rhetoric, evident in “Your beauty was the cause of that effect – Your beauty that did haunt me in my sleep” is emblematic of his deceitful nature, which is potent enough to create such an absurd situation.  Also significant is the manner in which Richard is able to deceive the higher court of England: particularly in his naming Hastings “a traitor”, Richard proves able to utilise his deformed “sapling” arm as a weapon, an act emblematic of Richard scarring England itself in his flamboyant villainy.   Finally, Richard’s defilement of the royal house’s name – the spreading of the propaganda of “the bastardy of Edward’s children” – is again an act symbolic of natural order being inverted, as Richard effectively defaces England with “scars of infamy” in decrying the rightful rulers.  Beyond merely acting as a villain through his killings, Richard thus establishes his malicious presence through his malevolent influence, which plunges England into chaos.  

In spite of his successes, however, Richard is seen to falter in his awe-inspiring villainy upon his rise to the throne.  This process is step by step, but essentially begins with the decline of Richard’s influence: throughout much of Act 4, Richard is seen to lose his hold on those around him, evident particularly in Buckingham’s betrayal, whose decision to “be gone” is largely due to Richard’s complacency in not appeasing Buckingham with the “earldom of Hereford”.  Richard’s gradual loss of influence is also evident in the failure of his language: particularly in his attempt to convince Elizabeth, Richard’s rhetoric in Act 4 is seen to degenerate, and in particular lines such as “Say I did all this for love of her” seem to echo the once successful wooing of Anne which Richard is now unable to replicate.  Finally, Richard’s demise as a villain is most obvious in the fact that his kingdom is overthrown by Richmond, and in his final cries of “A horse!  A horse!  My kingdom for a horse!”, it is evident that Shakespeare is constructing the image of an overthrown tyrant, whose power has been lost to the just world around him.  In contrast to his early successes, then, the eventual failure of Richard would suggest that he is not a perfect villain.

Moreover, alongside his physical and influential losses, Richard is seen to lose a personal stability in his ability to enact the role of a successful villain in the closing scenes of Richard III.  During the battle at Bosworth Field in Act 6, lines such as “But where tomorrow?...all’s one for that” indicate an antipathy for life, and the audience understands that the Richard being depicted is one with no future as King.  More significantly however, Richard is seen having his identity torn asunder, with the words in his soliloquy “Alas, I rather hate myself/For hateful deeds committed by myself” in particular relating to the audience a self-loathing and a loss of motivation for enacting evil.  Thus, by the denouement of the play, it is not only those around Richard who cannot tolerate his malevolence any longer: Richard, once determined to prove a villain, becomes unable to, having lost the force of his own will.

Nevertheless, it would be a misrepresentation of character to denounce Richard’s attempt at villainy as defunct.  Although his eventual demise is an indication of failure, the magnitude and quantity of Richard’s malevolence across the course of the play signify him as having succeeded to at least some extent in his determination to prove a villain: to the audience, he is evil incarnate, a fiendish schemer whose rise to power is absolutely bewildering.  The tragedy of Richard III is thus not merely the death of the innocent, but the destruction of the great; although he is personally abhorrent, as a villain, Richard demands the audience’s utmost respect.
Title: Re: English Work Examples Directory
Post by: Chavi on September 05, 2010, 11:49:50 pm
Maestro text response - "The novel is one of hope and despair in equal measure"

Hello forum. Received 9.5 for this essay. Hope it helps.

Peter Goldsworthy’s coming of age novel Maestro discusses the implications of lost dreams, deep regret and human limitations, but also delivers a message of encouragement and hope. The protagonist, Paul Crabbe, is raised with a sense of self-entitlement and a predestined career as a concert pianist, but is forced to deal with an inability to attain perfection or concert glory. The high hopes of his parents eventually give way to the realization that their son lacks the rubato and musical flair for a performance career. Likewise, the novel’s namesake, Eduard Keller, loses his faith in society during World War Two, upon the death of his wife and child. This traumatic experience forces Keller to perpetuate his feelings of guilt and regret, so much so, that he lives his life a broken man, but goes to his death with the hope of reuniting with them. Ultimately, Paul learns to appreciate the beauty of music, unfettered by expectation or external influences, and this parallels the realization that the love of his family is the most important thing in his life. Thus, whilst the novel deals with despair and broken dreams, it largely conveys a message of hope and encouragement, of love and family.

John and Nancy Crabbes’ uncritical “fuss and praise” for their son, Paul, gives him a false sense of confidence and contributes to his obsession to succeed as a professional pianist. His father exclaims that Paul is going to be “better than [him], much better”, and his mother toasts his “wonderful talent” upon receiving his exam results. This contrasts with John Crabbe’s own personal hopes and dreams that were cut short during the war, as Nancy remarks that “your father didn’t have the same opportunities as you”. It is this repressed ambition that manifests itself during the annual Gilbert and Sullivan performance, as Paul “glimpses … some frivolous, joyous core that hardship, childhood tragedy and the war had buried inside him too long.” As a consequence, Paul becomes the facilitator for his parents’ ambitions and longings for success.

Paul also develops some ambitions of his own, proclaiming that he wants “the centre-stage, up front”, and works equally as hard “redoubling [his] efforts to defy the theory of limits”. Paul not only hopes for success, but believes that he is inherently capable of it. The starkly contrasts with Keller’s acerbic criticism, and often derogatory and humiliating remarks, that puts Paul down and lowers his self esteem. Keller rarely compliments his student, and often speaks his mind about Paul’s inability to attain musical brilliance. He describes Paul’s playing as a “forgery” in which “something was missing”. Additionally, Keller prophetically predicts Paul’s failure on the concert circuit in Europe, justifying his critique by remarking: “better a small hurt now, than a wasted life”. Thus, despite his best efforts, Paul dream of becoming a virtuoso eludes him as the Maestro expects: “[you are my] best student yes, one in a thousand. But a concert pianist is one in a million”. The hope that Paul’s parents imbue within him is thus contrasted and contradicted with Keller’s lack of faith in his student, and the eventual despondency that Paul experiences through a string of competition losses.

Similarly, Keller also experiences a mixture of hope and despair in his life. Telling Paul that “we always hope for the best”, Keller hides his true emotions of guilt and anger through a veneer of indifference more “complex and contradictory” than Paul senses on face value. Indeed, he suffers an acute “contempt and self-hatred” over the perceived guilt of losing his wife and child to the Nazis. Remarking that “I was too insensitive”, the Maestro recognizes his youthful arrogance, snickering: “Who would harm the wife of Eduard Keller?” The depths of his anguish are highlighted when Paul meets with Henisch, who believed that the Maestro “[had] died” - something that Paul interprets from a metaphorical and psychological standpoint. In this sense, Paul realises the Keller who played with passion and rubato died symbolically and lost hope after his wife and son died in the Holocaust. Moreover, Henisch remarks that “if he ever felt the desire to play again, he would hack his fingers off one by one”. With hindsight, Paul realizes that Keller could not “finish the job” of mutilating his hand – indicative of the Maestro’s desire to live out the rest of his life, by atoning for his actions through music. Perhaps his correspondence with his student, Paul, gives Keller a newfound hope to live, and he begins treating his protégé as a “son” through a “father’s hardness”. His affection and hopes for Paul are indicated by the gift of precious sheet music that he sends to Adelaide, and his rare confessional to Paul on his last night in Darwin. Thus, Keller becomes a “changed man”, and although he never overcomes the grief of his personal loss, his new student gives him hope for the future.

Conversely, Keller loses his faith in the power of music as a uniting force and the common “human denominator”. This is analogous to his anger at society, particularly Viennese society, as well as humanity for failing to save his family. For this reason, he remains “suspicious as always of beauty and the rhetoric of beauty”, and much like Vienna, views life through a prism of “ornamental facades, hiding the hypocrisy within” – a cynical view of society, lacking hope or trust. This is demonstrated by his obsessive interest in human behaviour through maintaining a journal of newspaper clippings that he describes as the “goitre of the world”. His quest to find meaning in his personal tragedy parallels the cynical stories he collects and “studies … carefully like [a] doctor.”

Paul’s mother, Nancy also experiences some despair upon moving to Darwin, as Paul finds her “weeping silently” because “she had left a bluestone villa in the south for this.” However as a pragmatic and resourceful housewife, she makes the best of her situation, and adjusts to her new setting, by organizing a social life for her family, as well as leading the local Gilbert and Sullivan society. Another new arrival to Darwin, Bennie Reid, is faced with the threats and bullying of Jimmy Pappas, but refuses to give in or accept defeat. Indeed, Paul notes his precarious situation with “nothing to lose … no known survival strategy.” However, Bennie refuses to back down and bears his scars stoically, with Paul admitting that he has to “admire [his] courage.” The fact that Bennie is eventually accepted into the prestigious military academy at Nowra, demonstrates that he clings to a hope of a better life after school, throughout the course of the novel.

The Maestro’s personal dejection is reflected through his rigid arithmetical teaching style, and his rejection of the grandiose operettas he once played in his youth. The quest to find some “ultimate discipline, some perfect control to set against the treacheries of emotion” is mirrored in the “scales and scales” that Paul is forced to practice. Ultimately, Keller remarks that “silence is the purest music” – indicative of his personal aversion to music and beauty following the war. It is this worldview and teaching style that negatively impacts on Paul’s performances, and ultimately his optimism: “In this sense Keller was the worst possible teacher: revealing perfection, and at the same time snatching it away”. This gives Paul reason to hope, but with the knowledge that he may never be capable of attaining perfection – something that leads to eventual anger and regret.

Ultimately, Paul becomes disillusioned with his musical shortcomings, realizing that “I had found my level, my performances frozen into a recurring pattern of Also Rans”. This provides a backdrop to his earlier expectation of “eisteddfod glory”. Paul’s single musical victory as a keyboardist for the band Rough Stuff does not produce the expected effect of exaltation, as he feels “strangely deflated”. It is perhaps ironic that he succeeds where he least expects, as he feels as if the victory handed to the band is frivolous and undeserving. Paul’s despair is most vividly enunciated upon Keller’s death when he comments that he had “reached the end of a long last hope”, and the final connection in a genetic lifeline spanning all the way to “grandfather Liszt”.

On his deathbed, Keller senses that he will rejoin his family after death, providing him with the comfort he longs for: “his face tilting upwards … toward some imagined source of light and warmth, his eyes shining”.  This provides a benign and comforting end for a long and troubled life. Much like Keller, Paul is “beyond music” at this stage: the facilitator of his hopes, dreams and disappointments now becomes a source of consolation and enjoyment: “a species of time”, and “like the world, infinitely complex.”

Paul ultimately realizes that his lack of achievement is relatively unimportant, and that achievement and success come in many forms. The life lessons that younger Paul learns from the Maestro solidify in his life experiences and are reflected through the more mature Paul, who frequently comments on his childhood. Thus, he feels that despite his earlier “ridiculous dreams”, he “still [loved] it”. In this sense, he looks back on his childhood not with despair – but with nostalgia, longing and affection. In addition, Paul’s love for the mainstay in his life, Rosie who “always seemed able to tell me exactly what I wanted to hear” and the birth of his child, give him something to live for and look forward to. This provides the novel with an overall message of hope and encouragement, of personal growth and the realization that to love and be loved are the most important things in life.

In conclusion, whilst despair, anguish and torment are key themes in Maestro, the characters through their resilience, and ultimately through their love of music and each other impart a message of hope. The key idea, is that despair is necessary for hope, and ultimately the achievement of goals and desires.  In this respect, Goldsworthy paints an optimistic picture and a celebration of life in all its diversity.

Word Count: 1674
Title: Re: English Work Examples Directory
Post by: EvangelionZeta on September 28, 2010, 03:03:21 pm
Sample language analysis on the issue of graffiti, utilising one article and an image:

With the police’s recent decision to begin patrolling graffiti “hot spots” in Avonlea in an attempt to combat vandalism, debate has been sparked as to the effectiveness of this approach and to the nature of graffiti itself.  One commentator, Vanessa Swan, writes in an opinion piece from a Melbourne newspaper that graffiti is in fact an art form, contributing more to society than those who would like it to be removed tend to believe.  A photograph published together with the opinion piece supports Swan’s contention, presenting graffiti as vivifying society and encouraging self-expression through artistic creation.  This issue is set to spark further conflict, as it deals not only with graffiti and its place within society, but also the nature of art itself and its role within human civilisation. 

Throughout her piece, Vanessa Swan employs a measured rationality in an attempt to cast her opposition as misguided, in effect positioning the reader towards feeling as though their stance is one moulded within misunderstanding.  By using a calm and reasoned tone throughout the piece, found in phrases such as “we should focus on the real issues”, Swan is intending to ease the reader into her piece, influencing them towards viewing her as rational and not merely zealous in her support of graffiti.  This is further reinforced within Swan’s characterising the opposition’s views within hyperbole of “indulging in scare-mongering and in tales of graffiti as a horrific problem”, an act which casts the opposition themselves as the overly passionate; in doing so, Swan is effectively positioning the reader to feel as though there is a clear contrast between the two sides of the argument, and that hers is the more logical.  In using the rhetorical question “what is it that they are rebelling against?”, Swan also alludes to the notion that there is more to the issue than the opposition would believe, again, with the intention of persuading them towards seeing the opposition as lacking depth of knowledge regarding graffiti and its practice.

Complementing her characterisation of those against graffiti as misguided, Swan utilises attacks on the methods of counteracting graffiti in the hopes that, as a result, the reader will view the anti-graffiti movement as hopelessly ineffectual.  In utilising the absolute in saying “repressive approaches…are bound to fail”, Swan is depicting the police’s attempts to curb graffiti as completely unable to succeed, with the intention of eliciting a desire from the reader for an alternative response to the issue.  Use of the phrase “as should be obvious” in relation to graffiti being “easier to put up than to remove” furthermore reduces the police to lacking in credibility, inspiring the reader to feel as though they are not only doomed to failure, but furthermore, incompetent.  Juxtaposition between the police’s approach – “the easy path of condemning it” – and Swan’s approach in making “an effort to understand graffiti” also facilitates a move into an alternate solution, inciting the reader towards viewing the police’s method of fighting graffiti as inferior to an attempt towards comprehending its nature.   

Building from her attack on the opposition, Swan also infuses within her depiction of graffiti notions of vivacity and colourfulness in order to draw the reader into viewing its practice as necessary.  Through utilisation of the image of monotony within “a drab, grey, faceless place”, Swan is attempting to cast contemporary society as one lacking in any livelihood; by then building upon this with the language of intensity of “spirit and passion”, Swan is casting graffiti as a necessary evil to combat the dullness of society, in an attempt to incite an appreciation for graffiti’s effectiveness as a modern art form within the reader.   By drawing out the creative appeal of graffiti in calling it “witty, playful and socially meaningful” and “Even the simplest tags are making a statement”, Swan also characterises the art form as intellectual, with the intention of positioning the reader to feel as though graffiti is almost academic in its allowance for insight into the state of the world. 

Alongside this, Swan also continually juxtaposes the role of graffiti and the nature of urban life in order to elicit sympathy for artists from the reader.  With the use of the derogatory adjectives “empty” and “endlessly repeated”, Swan is creating an image contemporary society as one which has been overly institutionalised by “big-business [and] the corporate world”, positioning the reader to view graffiti as a means of escaping the commercial nature of society.  Swan’s employing the metaphor “visual pollution” similarly addresses this notion, invoking a sense in the reader that graffiti may in fact be a means of purifying the institutionalised cities.  Closing with the definitive statement “Graffiti is not a problem.  It is the street art of a new generation”, Swan intends to leave the reader feeling as though she has adequately addressed the significance of graffiti as a creative force, and that graffiti is a symbol of vitality in the modern world.

Like Swan’s opinion piece, the photograph published within the Melbourne newspaper supports graffiti as a creative means of bringing life to society within the context of contemporary culture.  In the foreground of the photograph, there is an individual grasping a can of spray paint in a pose of empowerment; this is designed to leave the viewer as thinking graffiti is bringing strength to the youth of the modern world, allowing for creativity in a world symbolised by industrial oppression.  Hiding the face of the individual in the photo also brings an understanding that graffiti is, in some sense, anonymous, in effect positioning the reader to feel as though graffiti is a universal form of self-expression which can be created by anybody, regardless of artistic background or social status. 

The photograph of the individual with the spray can also works to directly complement some of the ideas drawn out by Swan within her piece.  In the background of the image, there is a grey wall, completely blank save for the graffiti drawn on it; this, like Swan’s images of monotony, presents the state of contemporary society as one immersed in depraved dullness, inspiring the viewer to feel as though art is necessary for combating the soullessness of the world.  The contrast between the wall and the colourful and dynamic graffiti draw on top of it also alludes to the livelihood which graffiti brings, echoing Swan’s approach in portraying graffiti as bringing passion to society and potentially leaving the viewer feeling as though graffiti is necessary for the sake of society’s vividness.  All in all, this photograph is very much in the same vein as Swan’s piece, presenting graffiti as creative self-expression rather than simply vandalism. 

Both Swan’s opinion piece and the photograph are designed to leave the reader feeling as though graffiti is merely misunderstood as art.  Swan’s piece characterises its opposition as misunderstood before drawing comparisons between graffiti’s colourfulness and society’s dullness; the photograph is similar to this, presenting an empowering image of graffiti in a largely monotonous landscape.  As indicated by these responses and the acts which they are retaliating against, this issue is certain to provoke further discussion due to its impact on the role of art and self-expression in the modern world.
Title: Re: English Work Examples Directory
Post by: appianway on October 29, 2010, 09:53:29 am
Seeing as almost no one's posting on Shark Net, I thought I'd put something up. I wrote this piece a while before I started preparing for the exam, so it's not strongly enough linked to the text, but it demonstrates some linguistic features and general ideas that emulate the autobiography. I guess this short piece explores the group mentality and the inability to completely understand someone else's reality.

 

We were down at the beach house – all 8 of us, nestled in a little cove off Bay Road. We’d worked hard to secure this respite after the final exams. John had repainted the local church a hideous green, Peter had mowed all of the lawns in Hamilton and I’d experienced the wealth of insults that come with manning a Coles cash register.

Ah, freedom tasted so good. Not just in the figurative sense, but in the literal one too. There was a small fish and chippery hidden behind the beach’s shower block and everyday we’d meander towards the grey brick shack in pursuit of those brown paper bags filled with hot chips.

The owner of the place was kind – always throwing in a few extra dim sims here and there. His toothless grin shone against the blue sea.

Every now and then he’d be replaced by his wife. Cigarette perpetually drooping from her lips, her scowl had the same acidity as the lemon that we squeezed over our fish.

We weren’t sure why this was the case. Could it be a built up envy of the young? A dissatisfaction of days spent sorting 5 dollar notes and 10 cent pieces? Peter, in his wit and charm, offered other suggestions: perhaps it was something personal with her husband. That was better than his other alternative, in which the woman was cultivating illicit drugs. I don’t think he was serious. I hope he wasn’t.

These discussions continued for hours upon hours until we collectively decided to solve the mystery. We couldn’t quite pinpoint the source of her bitterness: she had the same home environment as her husband (unless, of course, Peter’s first theory held true), yet her disposition was completely different.

In our youth and innocence, we constructed a plan. Flawless, we thought, as the details of our pursuit became etched into our minds. After going to Main Street in the morning, we’d stop by Smith’s chocolates and buy her a box of truffles. John, the looker of the group, would go over to her stall later in the day and would chat her up.

Flawless, as I said.

The aim was to be astute experimenters. We’d observe her reaction from afar, emulating the scientific matter we’d studied back in our VCE.

“If she doesn’t smile, there’s something psychologically wrong with her,” John had noted.

We set off that morning, the scent of dew moistening the grass as the surf crashed against the sandstone cliffs.  The seagulls swooped above my head.

For some reason, this seemed to instil fear within me. It was a fear that I could taste – a phobia which burnt my tongue, which stung my eyes.

Fleetingly, an image of the woman ran through my mind. Lip upturned, hands on hips, she seemed to condemn our actions through the eye of the seagull.

The other didn’t notice. We continued on our way through Main Street, past the rusting Toyota utes and the stacks of Women’s Weekly outside the grocers. We saw children playing football against the dry dirt. Young mothers clad in thongs and cotton skirts pushed blue prams.

We went on our way into the chocolate shop, to be greeted by a man with greying hair. Interesting, I thought. A little like Dad back home – bald at the top, grey at the sides.

“So, what are you young’uns doing here?”

He smiled over the truffles.

“Saw you lot ‘round near Bill and Mary’s fish and chippery. To tell you the truth, I’ve been a bit worried about Mary myself lately. Tough time she’s going through, she is.”

Mary? Up until this point, the woman – well, Mary – had been simply that: a woman. The description of her using a name added a new dimension of colour: previously, she’d been a two dimensional concept to contemplate. But now, she was a human being – a person with friends, family and woven into the complexity of human life.

He handed us the truffles. And then he winked. I’m not sure what the wink was – perhaps it was an amicable gesture, maybe he knew what we were doing. But how could he? Were we, as teenagers, such transparent people? Could he peer into our reality, comprehend the immaturity of our actions? Were we immature?

By the time we arrived at the beach, the truffles had melted in their paper cases. John stopped maintaining that the plan was flawless. We’d taken quite a while to get there – stopping by the 7-11 to grab slurpees, we’d encountered another group of schoolies students and everyone had hit it off. We were going to their place tomorrow evening.

But in the time it’d taken us to finish our cola flavoured slurpees, stroll down main street and turn into beach road, much had changed. In preparation for a good night’s sleep, the sun had descended into its bed, sending streaks of purple and orange across the clouds.

And then we saw her. It was poignant, really. Suspended on the end of the pier, her silver hair clinging to the back of her neck, the sandstone cliffs seemed to revere her presence.

She saw us, all 8 of us, standing paralysed on the sand. We didn’t move. We couldn’t. She saw John’s freshly spiked hair, the box of truffles held limply in his hands.

And she smiled. But it wasn’t a smile of joy. It was something of resignation, of destitution, of worthlessness. It seemed final.

For a moment, I thought she would jump. But she simply stood there, a soft sadness spreading across the indigo sea.

Title: Re: English Work Examples Directory
Post by: appianway on October 29, 2010, 10:04:17 am
And here goes yet another essay... it's not perfect (wrote it just after getting back from Croatia and I may or may not have only read the book once at that point...), but it's got some fresh ideas.

Coketown is as important as the characters in Hard Times

Coketown, the setting of Hard Times, is as important as any of its characters. Do you agree?

As a social commentary and critique, Charles Dickens’ Hard Times relentlessly targets the vices plaguing Victorian Britain. Fundamentally opposed to the philosophy of utilitarianism and the social problems triggered by industrialisation, Dickens satirises the qualities he associates with the aforementioned movements. Although this is accomplished in part through the stereotyping of characters, much is achieved through the author’s descriptions of Coketown. Through his careful selection of linguistic features, location choice and narrative voice, all strongly linked to the setting of the novel, the author condemns both industrialisation and utilitarianism. It is thus evident that while the characters in Hard Times play an instrumental role in conveying the author’s contention, Dickens’ descriptions of Coketown provide a similarly important critique of utilitarianism and industrialisation.

Dickens provides a strong criticism of utilitarianism through his depiction of Coketown. Utilitarianism, a philosophy that stands for “the greatest good for the greatest people”, is undermined in the town of Coketown. Despite the growing industrialisation representing the pursuit of material wealth, and hence the “good” for a “great number” of people, the descriptions of the monotonous environment suggest a world void of fancy and happiness. Dickens creates this image by referring to the “several large streets all very like one another, and many small streets still more like one another, inhabited by people equally like one another”. The repetition of the phrase “like one another” accentuates the tedium seen by people in the town: as human “machines”, their lives rarely diverge from their daily norm. This notion of fact and order being entrenched in the town itself is reiterated in Dickens’ initial description of Coketown, in which the narrator exclaims “Fact, fact, fact, everywhere in the material aspect of the town; fact, fact, fact, everywhere in the immaterial." This clearly demonstrates that Dickens believes that the setting of Hard Times epitomises the extremity of utilitarianism, and hence the monotony that ensues is attributed to the excess of this philosophy. The depiction of the Gradgrind residence further accentuates Dickens’ criticism of utilitarianism, and hence cements the importance of Coketown in achieving this aim. Mr Gradgrind, a “man of fact”, believes so strongly in the philosophy of utilitarianism that he raises his children as “models”.  Gradgrind’s own house exemplifies an emphasis on fact: the “great stone house” has 6 windows on each side, and includes a wealth of scientific artefacts for his children to use. However, Dickens questions the worth of such a domestic scenario through his contemplative tone when stating that the house has “everything that the heart desires” (“Everything? Well, I suppose so”). This questioning technique evokes a sense that whilst the house possesses all of the material benefits that could cause “the greatest good for the greatest people”, something lacks. Dickens hence condemns the philosophy of utilitarianism through his description of the Gradgrind’s house in Coketown.

Dickens further uses his descriptions of the town of Coketown to criticise growing industrialisation. The name of the city itself immediately informs readers of the importance of industry to this town – pertaining to coal, the term ‘coke’ demonstrates a reliance on fuel to stimulate the furnaces of the factories that abound in the town. Dickens emphasises the destruction of this environment where “nature is bricked out as strongly as poisonous gases and airs are bricked in” largely through his use of figurative language. Dickens describes the town as being like “the head of an elephant in a state of melancholy madness”; a reference which suggests something animalistic and uncivilised about the society. Dickens emphasises this point through his ironic use of the term “fairy palaces” to describe the factories of Coketown. The author makes it clear that there is nothing fanciful or magical about the factories: the chimneys are “crooked”, and in the heat of summer, the atmosphere resembles that of “simoon’s breath”. The use of this wildly incorrect description hence functions to draw attention to the vices of the factories, thus serving as a criticism of industrialisation. Dickens additionally condemns industrialisation through his selection of location for the death of Stephen. Stephen dies after falling into a mining shaft, presumably one which provided coal for the industrialisation of Coketown. Stephen, however, is portrayed in a highly positive light – whilst dying, his head is ‘turned to the sky’, and the ‘stars have shined on [him]’. This clearly demonstrates that Dickens wants Stephen to be viewed in a favourable way. His death, inherently linked to the development of Coketown, can be seen as an important condemnation of industrialisation.

However, the importance of characters in Hard Times cannot be overlooked. The character juxtapositions reiterate Dickens’ strong criticism of utilitarianism. One such example is the comparison between Sissy and Bitzer. Sissy appears to be more “lustrous” when the sun shines upon her; Bitzer’s complexion is so lifeless that “the same rays appear to draw out of him what little colour he ever possessed”. Bitzer is established as the pinnacle of Gradgrind’s utilitarian education – when Sissy is unable to describe a horse, Bitzer immediately responds with a detailed description of the quadruped. The description of Bitzer in such a lifeless manner hence suggests that a utilitarian education favouring fact causes individuals to lose vibrancy, and therefore implies that a utilitarian approach alone is unable to create wholesome students. Dickens also explores the failure of utilitarianism through the character of Louisa. Gradgrind, an advocate of fact and utilitarianism, models his daughter Louisa to exemplify the philosophy. However, her education stunts her maturity, leaving her distraught and unable to comprehend her emotions after Mr Harthouse’s expression of his affinity for her. Louisa approaches her father, claiming that all she knows is that “[his] philosophy and teachings will not save [her]”. Louisa then collapses into an “insensible heap”. Louisa’s actions at this point certainly contradict the “factual” approach enforced by her father: her exclamations demonstrate spontaneity and rashness. This contradiction demonstrates that Dickens thus shows that utilitarianism is so flawed that even the most dedicated supporters are unable to follow it. However, her collapse also represents the symbolic demise of utilitarianism: the fact that the "pride and trumph of the system" is unable to withstand any degree of emotional trauma, and hence demonstrates that the philosophy is unable to adequately prepare its followers for future trials. By juxtaposing his characters and displaying the effects of such a philosophy on individuals, Dickens demonstrates that inevitably, the ideas embodied will collapse when the emotions of people are considered.

In Dickens’ Hard Times, the town of Coketown embodies the concept of fact; an idea essential to utilitarianism. The author uses this association to condemn the philosophy: his use of descriptive language suggests the downfalls of utilitarianism. Additionally, his illustrations of monotony create a paradox where the philosophy of utilitarianism ultimately undermines its own purpose. Dickens also criticises the growing industrialisation of Britain through Coketown – his selection of linguistic features draws attention to the poor urban conditions caused by the movement. The death of Stephen can also be attributed to Coketown’s dependence on fuel, which further reiterates the vices of industrialisation. These ideas confirm the immense importance that the setting of Coketown serves in conveying the author’s values. However, the significance that the characters play cannot be underestimated: the juxtaposition of Bitzer and Sissy and Louisa’s lack of emotion development signal that indeed, utilitarianism has no place in society.
Title: Re: English Work Examples Directory
Post by: taiga on November 25, 2010, 08:36:58 pm
One of my attempts at a different form. Context, Whose Reality.

Quote
Discovering human reality in the most unlikely of places
Steven Josiah , The Herald Sun, 08/10/10
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Being one of the thousands of university students out trying to start on their independent life, attempting to balance studies, social life, and need for money, perhaps getting an interesting part time job was not particularly high on the list of probable events.

With no real qualifications, and no particular interest in earning my fourteen dollars an hour by contributing to the body mass index of society, I decided to go out on a whim and, perhaps a little persuaded by my little punk rock phase, and work at a “scene kid” store, otherwise a bit better known as a “head shop”.

The inner-city store, which specialized in tattoos, band merchandise, body piercings, and “legal herb” paraphernalia, though littered with anti-drug legal disclaimers throughout the store, had a pretty obvious target audience. With a store which sold “water” pourers, “tobacco” pipes, “herb” vaporizers, and the reading section entertaining “purely educational” books about the growth of Marijuana and Cannabis, the main attraction of such stores is no secret.

Despite having several pin up posters of punk rock bands, spiky haired, gum chewing, teenage store attendants, with, retrospectively, terrible fashion sense, my everyday experiences with people of all ages, backgrounds, and demographics really  exposed a lot about society’s addiction to escapism. In a city where the homeless co-exist with the lawyers and doctors, and schoolkids walk the same streets as businessmen, I’ve learnt that despite the social gap between Melbourne’s many people, in reality many of us are not so different; most of us simply just want an escape.

Whether we are trying to escape our reality by dimming our senses through drugs and alcohol, or simply trying to construct our own realities through other means, our reasons for doing so come down to simply one reason; we are not content with the reality we are in. Whether it’s a teenager depressed about being bullied at school, an accountant unable to handle her workload, or a middle-aged woman unable to truly overcome the trauma of losing someone close many years ago, as humans we are fundamentally no different, we are rarely content with ourselves.

Working in the store, perhaps the most obvious avenues for the evasion of reality taken was through the use of illicit drugs. Though the company’s policy, or the “keep business legal” statement, would restrict the implication that those who purchased “water pipes” are drug users, the general consensus between the customers and store employees is exactly that.  Aside from simply providing an escape from reality, it appears that in an increasingly hostile world, the concept of possessing a mechanism which allows social control, albeit temporarily, is perhaps a rather attractive concept. Having control over our circumstances is one of the primary objectives of intelligent life as we know it, but the impact of global capitalism, individual emotional differences, and the force of social conformity, limits most human beings in their ventures to control their lives. To a degree, it becomes reasonably understandable that in order to control their reality to the greatest of their extent, some take advantage of the use of drugs and alcohol.

So in a world where most of us are nowhere near content in what we do, why aren’t we all taking drugs and drowning ourselves in alcohol?

In my case, the pressure of social conformity amongst my demographic was what led me to my job in the first place, and I suspect many of the younger customers of the store I worked in were rather similar. In contrast to attempting to escape reality through drowning it out, many of us react to our discontent with our lives through attempting to conform into something we are not. Whether we do this through manipulation of others, deception, or simply slapping on a Metallica t-shirt to impress your mates, we all attempt to construct our realities to some extent to simply fit in and control our lives. The several youths walking into the store with their straightened, bleached hair, with various visible piercings, and headphones blasting out cacophonous screams, all represented the same image in my day to day experiences. Whilst some may have been very different people in the past, the transformation they decide to undertake themselves creates the image that they become, and in essence grasps control of their reality. To the objective perspective of the rest of the world, these people have “constructed” their reality.

That said, the physical reality that we create of ourselves is not the limit of the extent to which we go to in order to make our own realities. We all know someone who has undergone some sort of emotional or moral transformation, whether it is caused from a past trauma, a realization, the adoption of another image, or simply by the necessity of survival in society. A few months out of my “punk-rock” phase, and into my phase of theatrical appreciation, I appropriately ventured out to go and have a watch of Tennessee Williams’ appropriately themed play, “A Streetcar Named Desire” at the Regent. Once again, I am over that phase, and I have no intention of writing any sort of review; but to cut a long story short, the central plot was based around the protagonist constructing a self-image to evade her past, and eventually getting caught and bringing upon her downfall. Whilst at the time the audience collectively felt sympathy, confusion, and disgust at the predicament of the protagonist, now I can not help but question exactly why this was particularly significant.

Our entire lives are filled with people attempting to hide aspects of themselves, and it is only natural to want to overcome difficulties in our lives. Some choose to do by creating a façade through lies, deceit, conformity, whereas others do this through drugs and alcohol, and others choose to simply “cop it”. It all simply goes to say that every single one of us attempts to make our own reality, but it is primarily how we go about doing so which is what separates us.

Steven is undergraduate arts student at Melbourne University currently trying to discover his own reality.
Title: Re: English Work Examples Directory
Post by: Aden on December 14, 2010, 06:35:59 pm
Sample Language Analysis with one image:

A recent report published by an independent committee which showed that young male drivers are more likely to be injured or killed on the roads has reignited debate on whether this is a social issue related to the male population in our community. In an opinion article published in a Melbourne newspaper titled ‘What real people think’ in January 2008, writer Frank Sadler argues for its young male readers to drive more responsibly on the roads. At the same time, an accompanying photo depicts a battered car in the aftermath of a road collision, which complements the article by highlighting the consequences associated with driving dangerously on the roads. This discussion highlights the role of young males in society in general, and whether their set of values and beliefs are in accord with society’s own established standards.

In the article, Sadler first attempts to inform and seek an acknowledgement from its young male readers of their poor and destructive attitude when driving on the streets of Melbourne. Sadler begins by using colloquial language such as ‘crusty old curmudgeon’ and ‘you, the young guns’ in order to allow his article to be clearly directed towards the younger generation of readers. At the same time, Sadler uses a series of hyperbole, such as ‘no other group coming close’ to ‘the most damage’ inflicted ‘to themselves’, and a generalization of the younger males in society by labeling them as ‘self-absorbed sociopaths’ intent on ‘gratification and amusement’ in order to emphasize the carnage that male drivers who think ‘they are invincible’ cause to others on the roads along with generating antagonism against this minority group. The reader is positioned into acknowledging that there is an issue of young male drivers with poor values and attitudes on the roads in the current day and age.

Another approach made by Sadler is an attempt to undermine the beliefs and values that cause the younger drivers to act irresponsibly and dangerously. Sadler is first able to use a sarcastic tone in order to exaggerate the ludicrous nature of those who believe that their ‘revved to excess’ car ‘with shiny bits all over it’ will ‘make the opposite sex weak at the knees’, where Sadler juxtaposes this nonsensical thinking with a generalization of the public’s opinion of them as ‘tossers’ and a ‘bit old to be still playing with toys’. Similarly, Sadler’s use of a biased selection of the purported values characterized by young male drivers, where they have to be ‘first in line at the traffic lights’ and ‘believe that the road rules apply to everyone else but’ them, enables him to use the repetition of ‘Wrong’ after each rebuttal of these beliefs in order emphasize their illogical thinking and undermine their credibility. Through Sadler’s tone and rebuttal of the quintessential values that young male drivers abide by, the reader is able to realize the faults associated with it and form an antagonistic stance towards them.

At the same time, Sadler attempts to provoke a sense of fear into any male readers who are drivers in order to convince them to put an end to their aggressive and unwanted driving style. Shifting towards an assertive tone, Sadler is able to present the consequences of driving irresponsibly and dispel the idealistic thoughts of young drivers by singling them out as ‘you’ in his argument that ‘you are far more likely than any other group’ to ‘end up in the operating theater of morgue’. At the same time, using a series of rhetorical questions such as ‘When you will you get it right?’ and ‘Still don’t believe me?’, Sadler is able to persuade the young male reader into questioning their own beliefs about the way they drive. Sadler is able to further reinforce his attempt to generate fear of mortality by using evidence from the ‘Traffic Accident Commission’, where young male drivers are most at risk from traffic collisions. Through his tone and evidence, Sadler is able to position the reader into fearing for their own life when adopting dangerous driving styles

Similarly, the final approach made by Sadler is an attempt to provoke its young male readers to adopt a safer approach towards driving. Sadler first attempts to persuade the reader into reflecting about their driving style by arguing that they are ‘able to convince the testers’ that they have ‘the skills and knowledge of the road’ and then asking the rhetorical question as to why they cannot be ‘trusted to do this on your own?’. This leads into Sadler’s final appeal to the young male reader to change their attitude and driving style, where Sadler first uses a series of universally known clichéd phrases such as ‘do yourself and everyone else a favor’ and ‘get with the program’ in order ensure that his is able to reach all readers. Sadler finishes by once again giving a negative context to the behavior of current male drivers with ‘testosterone charged fantasies’ to persuade the male reader to finally realize their poor attitude when driving. Thus, Sadler is able to persuade the reader to abandon their old aggressive and violent ways of driving and instead adopt a more conventional and safer method.

Accompanying the article is a photo of a wrecked car abandoned in a yard ready to be crushed amongst other similarly damaged vehicles. The centering of the dilapidated and damaged car in the photo serves to form an immediate connection with the article whilst also to emphasize its presence and provoke a sense of fear in the reader at the tragic consequences that may occur, where all but the driver and passenger seats remain intact. At the same time, the other wrecked vehicles surrounding the centered car allow the reader to form their own conclusion that this damage to vehicles in collisions is actually quite a common occurrence in society. The logo of the wrecked car as a BMW also emphasizes the idea that all cars have the vulnerability of being damaged beyond repair from crashes, and that it is not only limited to cheaper cars with less safety features. Therefore, the image accompanying the article primarily attempts to convey the idea of the consequences arising from car accidents and the common occurrence of them.

Finally, the accompanying photo seeks to reinforce the arguments made by Sadler in his opinion article by emphasizing the destruction to vehicles and threat against human lives that irresponsible driving can cause. The horrific image of the damaged car where only the passenger and driver seats remain intact parallel with Sadler’s argument that car crashes can result in people ending up in the ‘operating theatre’ or ‘morgue’ and reinforces his attempt to invoke a sense of fear of mortality into young male drivers. Similarly, the other surrounding damaged vehicles corresponds to Sadler’s main contention that the group of young drivers ‘still hasn’t got its mind set right’ as there are still many traffic accidents that occur everyday, and also provokes the reader into agreeing with Sadler that it could happen to them if they were to continue in their ‘testosterone charged fantasies’. Thus, the photo primarily seeks to reinforce the arguments made by the article by emphasizing the consequences of young males driving irresponsibly and aggressively.

Both the article and accompanying image complement one another in an attempt to urge the young male reader into adopting a safer and more responsible method of driving. Sadler first attempts to bring attention to the growing problem of aggressive and unwanted young masculine driving behavior before attempting to convince the reader into taking a more responsible approach to driving by appealing to their sense of fear for their lives and arguing against the reasons for driving irresponsibly. While the image serves to aid the article in its arguments by highlighting the tragic and uncommon consequences that may arise from reckless driving. Thus, the reader was able to be positioned into adopting the Sandler’s contention, which is to take a more controlled and calm approach when driving. This debate on the values and beliefs of young males when driving leading to detrimental consequences will only escalate, as the number of young deaths on the roads continually rises.
Title: Re: English Work Examples Directory
Post by: Aden on December 14, 2010, 06:43:02 pm
Richard III text response: Richard III demonstrates the destructive nature of ambition.


In Shakespeare’s play, Richard III, ambition is primarily portrayed as a vice with detrimental consequences befalling those who are too determined in the attainment of their goals and desires. The desire of Buckingham to gain land and wealth by helping Richard usurp the throne later causes his execution as Richard relinquishes his promises to him. While Richard’s own desire to become King of England through evil plots and machinations results in the deaths of the characters around him and the degradation of society. At the same time, the destructive nature of Richard’s ambition strikes at Richard himself at the denouement of the play, as his identity and sense of happiness is shattered. However, ambition is not always depicted as detrimental to those who possess it, but rather it proves to aid Richmond in his attempt to kill the tyrant Richard and bring peace back to England. Thus, for the most part, ambition which is caused by excessive greed and the need for self-gratification proves to be harmful to both the characters that possess it, but also for the environment that they inhabit.

The idea of ambition being damaging to characters is first presented through the Buckingham’s desire to gain material wealth by helping Richard with his plans. Initially, Buckingham is eager to aid Richard in his usurpation of the throne due to a combination of their close relationship and his desire to attain the ‘earldom of Hereford, and the movables whereof the King’ possessed. It is the latter of the two, however, that causes the destruction of Buckingham’s own sense of justice and set of morals in order to aid the ‘tyrant’ Richard in justifying the execution of Hastings, Rivers, Vaughan and Grey, along with manipulating the Mayor into joining Richard’s cause for becoming King and not giving it to ‘the corruption of a blemished stock’. However, Buckingham’s ambition goes further than to destroy his previously ‘fair’ principles, and later causes his execution for attempting to revolt against King Richard. His death results from attempting to claim his rewards in accordance to Richard’s earlier ‘promise’, and it is only when his request is rejected that Buckingham finally realizes that his ambition has allowed him to suffer and be manipulated under the ‘underhand corrupted foul injustices’ of Richard. Therefore, Buckingham is the first victim of the detrimental nature of ambition, as he loses both his life and his moral integrity to it. 

At the same time, it is Richard’s desire to usurp the throne of King Edward that causes the destruction of both England’s society and the lives of certain characters. Initially, Richard asserts his determination ‘to prove a villain’ through ‘subtle’ ‘drunken prophesies, libels and dreams’, and it is this ambition that leads him to take a ‘tyrannous’ and ‘bloody’ path in order to become King. The Princes in the tower are two of the many victims which fall under Richard’s ‘murderous knife’ that was ‘whetted on his stone-hard heart’, where Richard’s ambition to maintain his position as King causes him to become paranoid and wish for his potential rivals and the ‘bastards dead’. By the dénouement of the play, the Lords who had opposed him and many of Richard’s closest allies are ruthlessly murdered in order to fulfill his desire to take the throne, where Richard had become ‘so far in blood that sin will pluck on sin’. At the same time, even the society of England is tainted by the evilness and aspirations of Richard, as its justice and morals become replaced by corruption and ‘ill dealings’. The idea of Richard’s desire to become King ruining the society around him is explored in the scene when the cardinal eagerly agrees to serve Richard over his religion by ‘o’er-rul(ing) my mind for once’ and ‘infringe the holy privilege of blessed sanctuary’. Whilst the destruction of society is a secondary cause of Richard’s own ambition to become King, it is the desperateness of Richard to fulfill it that leads him to take drastic measures, even to the extent of attempting to mould society into acting out his own deeds. Thus, ambition not only causes internal damage to those who possess it, but also results in the destruction of other characters and the society around them.

Similarly, the idea of overly ambitious characters being destroyed is depicted in the downfall of Richard as his identity and sense of happiness is damaged beyond restoration. Throughout the play, Richard is able to act out in fulfillment of his desires, however this later changes as his overwhelming determination leads him to commit acts of murder and treachery without remorse; where this ultimately leads to succumb to his guilty conscience. This is shown in the scene where Richard dreams of the ghosts that he had wronged calling for him to ‘despair and die’ before waking up to find his determined villainous side conflicting with his conscience. Richard’s previous ‘bloody acts’ of ‘villainy’ performed in order to fulfill his ambition, where he had ‘clothed’ his ‘naked villainy with odd old ends stol’n forth of holy writ’ and seemed ‘a saint when most I [he] play the devil’, leads him to be unable to argue against the ‘thousand tongues’ of his conscience. The conscience of Richard causes his identity to be shattered and his happiness destroyed, as he concedes that ‘there is no creature loves me; and if I die no soul will pity me’, and is unable to deceive himself any longer as he exclaims that he is a ‘villain’ who ‘hates myself for hateful deeds committed by myself’. It is the overly ambitious side of Richard that is the direct cause of his own downfall and death at the hands of Richmond, as his determination to take the throne leads him towards performing acts of violence which he cannot later escape from. Hence, the deadly consequences that arise from being too determined in fulfilling one’s ambition is explored through Richard, as his downfall is a direct result of his actions performed in order to become King.

However, ambition that is a direct cause of seeking justice or peace is portrayed as being able to aid certain characters without any ill consequences later befalling them. This idea is explored through the moral and ‘courageous’ Richmond, where he is depicted as the ultimate victor who is able to slay the ‘bloody dog’ that is King Richard and restore England back to its previous state of glory. Richmond’s good nature and moral integrity allows him to fulfill his ambition to slay Richard, the ‘bloody tyrant and homicide’, where he is aided by ‘God’ and ‘the prayers of holy saints and wronged souls’ in his battle. At the same time, Shakespeare is able to convey the lack of consequences that befall the righteous in the final soliloquy of Richmond after he slays Richard, where Richmond exclaims that from this point onwards only ‘smooth-faced peace’ and ‘prosperous days’ will occur in England. There are no consequences to Richmond’s previously strong ambition to slay Richard, as he is instead depicted as the savior of England, where he is left unthreatened and able to freely maintain his position on the throne as he chooses to ‘unite the white rose and the red’ and ‘abate the edge of traitors’ while reducing ‘these bloody days’. Thus, not all ambition is destructive, as actions which are made in the name of peace and justice are able to be freely committed without any detrimental effects.

Therefore, in Richard III, over-ambition that is caused by selfishness is primarily depicted as destructive to both the characters that possess it and the environment around them. This is first presented through Buckingham, whose greed to gain material wealth ultimately leads to his execution by Richard for disobeying his orders. While Richard’s own ambition to usurp the throne causes the deaths of any character that opposes him along with the degradation of England’s society. Richard is himself not immune to the destructiveness of ambition, as he succumbs to his own guilty conscience and is left depressed and with a shattered identity when he is slain by Richmond at the dénouement of the play. However, ambition is not always depicted as destructive, as Richmond’s moral and just cause in fighting against Richard results in him not having to succumb to harmful consequences. Thus, while ambition is not always seen as detrimental to characters, it is primarily depicted to be so as the majority of characters who possess it tend to become too determined in fulfilling their evil or greedy intentions.
Title: Re: English Work Examples Directory
Post by: Aden on December 14, 2010, 06:47:50 pm
Sample Whose Reality? context (though it is old and the external evidence is a bit too specific): Emotions and relationships are as real to us as our material circumstances.

Our own emotions and feelings for other people can be one of the most important aspects of our lives, and as such we may at times treat them in preference to our ‘real’ material circumstances. Occasionally, our feelings of love for those around us can often lead us to neglect or overlook the faults and problems associated with forming a relationship with the person. At the same time, the breakdown of relationships or the loss of our lover can potentially propel us into a state of depression and longing for the past which can verge on illusion, whilst also leading us to temporarily abandon the present circumstances. Similarly, an intense desire to have our love reciprocated may lead us to become oblivious to the occurrences that happen during our lives and instead focus upon winning the love of our dearest. However, our reliance on emotions and strong relationships may sometimes falter when a situation requires for us to forget about those closest to us and instead concentrate upon the task at hand. As one of the primary guides in taking action during our lives, our belief and reliance in our emotions and relationships have the ability to transcend the events and circumstances that occur around us.

As one of the most intense emotions that humans can experience, love can at times lead people to neglect their present surroundings. Our intense love for our most beloved can often lead us to overlook the faults associated with the behavior or personality of our potential lover. An example of this is presented in Tennessee William’s play, A Streetcar Named Desire, where Stella is able to overlook the material circumstances of her household and continue to love Stanley. After Blanche’s initial stay at her apartment, she points out to Stella the true nature of Stanley that she had experienced, where he was ‘common’ and ‘ape-like’ in his aggressive ways. However, Stella is unable to truly understand or accept Blanche’s statements, as she shields these accusations with her deep love for Stanley, telling Blanche that their love together had made ‘everything else seem – unimportant’. Instead of accepting that Stanley is an aggressive husband who could turn to physical violence when drunk, Stella instead chooses to dwell on his positive characteristics as a ‘good lamb’.  Even at the dénouement of the play, when Blanche is later raped by Stanley and tells Stella of the incident, she refuses to believe her own sister as she would not be able to ‘go on living with Stanley’ if she did. Our strong emotions and feelings for one another can at times overshadow the material circumstances that occur in our lives.

Similarly, the breakdown of a relationship or the loss of a loved one can have detrimental consequences and destroy our regard for the present circumstances around us. At times, the loss of our most beloved can cause us to become propelled into an illusion where the happier moments of the past are emphasized and the present are neglected. This idea is explored in Tennessee William’s play, A Streetcar Named Desire, where the suicide of Blanche’s previous husband, Allan Grey, causes her world to be ‘turned off’ and leads her to retreat into her own fantasy where she has a falsified self-image and prefers ‘realism’ over ‘magic’. Blanche’s yearning to escape away from poverty and to feel happiness once more with another loving husband causes her to neglect her own material circumstances, where she is now an aging ‘Southern Belle’ searching for a fantastical ‘young prince out of the Arabian Nights’. When Mitch discovers her sinister past and refuses to marry her as she ‘not clean enough’ to bring into his house, Blanche’s last remaining remnants of returning to the past are shattered as she falls deeper into illusion before she completely loses touch with the present and would rather live on ‘an ocean as blue as her first lover’s eyes’. If we rely too much on our relationships and they fail, then tragic consequences may occur causing us to lose connection with the present environment.

At the same time, our desire to have our love reciprocated with another person may cause us to become oblivious to everything around us apart from the person whom we love. This love may be so severe that we may create self-propelled illusions to reaffirm our love’s reciprocation of our advances when all events that are occurring seem to prove otherwise. This is explored in Ian McEwan’s novel, Enduring Love, where Jed Parry’s own world is ‘determined from the inside, driven by [the] private necessity’ to bring Joe Rose to God through love. Joe’s continued attempts to reject the advances made by Jed prove to be futile as Jed’s strong desire to persuade Joe to love him blinds him from perceiving the world as it really is. Instead, Jed creates his own fantasy stemming from his own emotions, where he ‘illuminated the world with his feelings, and the world would confirm him at every turn’. Even by the end of the novel, when Jed is sent to a mental hospital for resorting to violence in an attempt to gain Joe’s love, he is still ‘inviolable in his solipsism’ and unable to accept the material circumstances that are presented before him but rather choosing to completely trust his emotions and personal thoughts. Unrequited love can be detrimental if we allow it to overtake and manipulate the way we perceive events that occur in the real world around us.

However, there are times when the material circumstances surrounding us force us to take leave of our relationships and emotions. Occasionally, our sense of duty to serve our country in times of emergency can surpass our strong desire to live happily with our loved ones. This is the case with the soldiers of America’s Battalion of Camp Lejeune, where their duty in the armed forces to serve in Afganistan has forced them to attempt to temporarily forget about the existence of their family and loved ones during battle in order to boost their fighting efficiency. Due to the harsh conditions during their time in service where ‘phone calls home are rare, and letters can sometimes take weeks’, many soldiers have allowed their material circumstances to dictate their way they live. Where one such Marine’s time spent in the war-torn country has made his relationship with his wife seem like a fantasy of the distant past, as he would become ‘eager to forget about his home life by going on endless patrols’ to ensure the security of Afghanistan. While our emotions are an integral part of our lives, there may be times when our material circumstances require us to neglect the reality of these feelings, desires and relationships.

The emotions and relationships can have such an important influence upon our lives that we may prioritize them to be on the same level, or even higher, than the actual material circumstances and events that occur around us. Our intense love for another person may lead us to deliberately overlook the disparities associated with that person’s actions of characteristics. At the same time, the loss of someone close to us can provoke intense emotions that may propel us into a sense of melancholy and longing for the past. Similarly, unrequited love can have tragic consequences if we are unable to overcome the refusal and instead allow it to take over our lives. However, emotions and relationships are also sometimes suppressed with our material circumstances taking top priority in our lives. Since our emotions and the relationships we have with other people are such a vital part of our daily lives, it is not abnormal for us to treat these with the same importance as our material circumstances.
Title: English Guides, Sample Pieces, Tips and Resources
Post by: lynt.br on December 19, 2010, 12:15:28 am
ENGLISH GUIDES, SAMPLE PIECES, TIPS AND RESOURCES

This is a collection of useful guides and resources for VCE English, written by various members of the forum. To keep this thread organised, questions or discussions about any of the guides listed below should be posted in the guide's original thread. This is to keep this thread organised. A link to the original thread can be found on each guide in this page.

If you want to contribute any guides or pieces to this thread, then post them in the original thread and then PM myself or any of the other English or National Moderators to update it in here.


GENERAL GUIDES
EvangelionZeta's English FAQs
EvangelionZeta's guide to preparing for the English exam
Nick's essential writing tips
werdna's tips for English
pi's tips for English
BA22's exam advice
funkyducky's List of Issues for the English Oral 2011


TEXT RESPONSE
Assorted commercial study guides 


CONTEXT
Shinny's guide to context writing
VivaTequila's how to write a 20/20 Context Piece
literally lauren's Context External Examples and Evidence


LANGUAGE ANALYSIS
Costargh's language analysis study pack
Lynt.br's crash course in language analysis
dilks' Glossary of Visual Devices
Section C - Language Analysis - Sample Text Repository
literally lauren's Structuring a LA with example


STUDY GUIDES
VCEStudyGuides.com
Also Like!  VCE Study Guides on Facebook for daily tips and updates.


ESSAY TOPICS
• Various practice essay topics by transgression
• Additional practice topics are also available in the Essay Topics Megathread
Section C - Language Analysis - Sample Text Repository

SAMPLE PIECES
• The English Work Examples Directory contains a wide variety of written pieces submitted by ATARNotes.com members, created by shinny.


ORAL PRESENTATION PERFORMANCE
• EvangelionZeta and lexitu have kindly run an oral coaching session to prepare students for their assessed speech.  A video of the session can be viewed here. It includes performances from ATARNotes.com members kyzoo, Water and Andiio
VivaTequila's Oral Presentation Planning Guide
Oral Presentations: How to speak in Public (from the 2012 PESA Champion)


MISCELLANEOUS RESOURCES

VCAA MATERIALS AND DOCUMENTS
VCAA Study Design
English and ESL Study Design 2008-2011
Official Assessment Handbook

VCAA Exams
VCAA's Past Exam Papers
VCAA's English Sample Exam
VCAA's ESL Sample Exam


OTHER
The Elements of Style by William Strunk, Jr.
Writing guide given to all journalists at The Economist
Talk by John Kilner from The Age on the topic of issues for VCE English students.
How to write an op-ed (Opinion piece in newspapers)
MIT Writing and Communication Resources
The Age 'Text Talk' Articles (various texts)
Student Welfare Outreach Team (SWOT) @ Melbourne Uni's volunteer English Notes

USER Q&As
werdna and VivaTequila
Yang Li
vickychen667
werdna's last minute exam Q&A
literally lauren
Title: Re: English Guides, Tips and Resources
Post by: lynt.br on December 19, 2010, 12:19:45 am
SHINNY'S GUIDE TO CONTEXT WRITING
DISCONTINUED; an updated and more informative version can be obtained by attending my English preparation course outlined here
Original thread here

What is the context?
As a result of the new English course in 2008, the most significant change that was implemented is definitely the introduction of the context writing task. This will most likely be the section of the exam which you will find most frustrating throughout the year as I know from having to go through it all, and I'm writing this guide to hopefully alleviate your worries and shed some light on the ambiguity of this section. You'll realise throughout the year that nobody really knows what to do in this section (even teachers!) and this was pretty clear from the activity on the English board prior to the English exam, so hopefully this guide will answer any questions people have throughout the year before they start reposting the same questions over and over again. Basically, context is section B in the exam, and it is worth equal marks to the other two sections, so you'll definitely have to put some effort into it. The context task involves 'write an extended piece for a specified purpose and audience, exploring ideas and using detail from at least one text'. Basically, this task revolves around broad IDEAS as opposed to specific textual ideas as in the text response, or analysis of language as in the language analysis task. Also, rather than always writing for an academic audience as you would in the other two pieces, context writing often gives you the leniency to write for other sorts of audiences, and in a large variety of text types.

What are the different contexts?
The four different contexts at current are:
As you can see, the ideas behind each of these are VERY broad, and this is the basis of the context style of writing. What you should do in the holidays is try and get a grasp of exactly what each of these contexts are demanding of you. The easiest way to do this is to read through your texts and try and extract the key ideas. Anything that VCAA gives in the exam will be universal to all your texts as the task must be applicable to any of the four texts provided, so you can even use this as a means of predicting what will be on the exam. By knowing the key ideas of the context, this will narrow down exactly what you need to study for as like I said, these context ideas are quite broad. For example, 'Whose Reality?' was an extremely broad context, and I wasted a lot of time at the start of the year focusing on the philosophical side of this, but soon realised that VCAA would never even ask anything like that. Rather, this context was more of a question of perceptions and so on. By knowing exactly what the context is demanding of you, you'll be able to save a lot of time and yield better results, particularly in the vaguer ones such as 'Whose Reality?' and 'The Imaginative Landscape'.

So how do I prepare for the context?
Write. It's that simple. Like any section of the exam, writing a context piece every fortnight or so will get you quite far. However, the problem is often that you have nothing to write about. This is where research and preparation comes into play. For the context, often you'll feel like you're short of ideas, or even worse, short of EVIDENCE. Evidence is something that everyone will struggle with if they are writing in the expository or persuasive styles (more on this later). I'd say most people will get this dilemma because so many of the ideas in the context seem so obvious that getting an example, or just using an example to explain them seems quite trivial given how obvious they are. But examiners won't necessarily feel the same way, and as with any essay, any point you make must be supported by evidence. The great thing about context is that you can pretty much get evidence from ANYWHERE, but the thing to watch out for is evidence which the examiners have never heard about, or just isn't credible. My advice is to begin with a quote database. A quick googling will net you quite a lot of quotes, and these will often come in handy. They can also help form the basis of your ideas, and I'd definitely recommend getting this started ASAP as it's pretty mindless work. Next comes your actual evidence. This can take on many forms, but like I mentioned before, try and choose stuff that people have heard of. My recommendations are:
This doesn't necessarily involve having to read or watch a great deal. Just randomly googling or link jumping on Wikipedia helped me find A LOT of information already. I'm personally not a big reader myself, so the majority (basically, all of it) was done on the internet, and it's quite possible to find what you need quite quickly.

Also, the other step to preparing is definitely just sitting down, and thinking about your context. Depending on how motivated you are, try and do this in idle time also, such as when you're catching public transport or something. I've had some pretty good ideas come to me just in these sorts of times.

So how should I approach the context?
All of the contexts indeed seem very complicated and the types of topics which can be asked seem very varied, but I think the easiest way to approach it is to break it down into something more manageable is to think of it like this. In general from what I've seen, any topic will be either one of an 'effects/consequences' prompt, a 'causes' prompt or a 'big ideas' prompt. Typically from what I've seen, they will favour cause or effect style questions. I'll try and explain this better by using the actual exam prompts provided in 2008.

Cause: I see a cause question as in terms of a prompt which discusses the factors and reasons which lead the ambiguities of the context idea to form. This is made clearer in the 'Identity and Belonging' prompt from 2008 which was 'Our relationships with others help us to define who we are.' The prompt is clearly talking about the factors which help define who we are, and in this case, specifically on relationships.
Consequences: In contrast, I see a consequences question as being one which deals with the various implications that the context idea can create. This is pretty obviously matched by the 2008 'Whose Reality?' prompt ''We can evade "reality" but we cannot avoid the consequences of doing so.' I assume not much more explanation needs to be done regarding this.
The 'big ideas': Well I really don't know what to call this one actually so pardon the dodgy name, but I've occasionally seen questions which don't particularly classify well under either of the above two. What this one deals with is the central ideas, and you'll be expecting plenty of room for philosophical discussion within such prompts. However, I don't think any of the VCAA ones classify particularly well under this, so I'll provide my own example. A 'Whose Reality?' prompt I did for my SAC is 'We can never attain a fully objective view of reality because we remain trapped in the prison of our subjectivity'. As you can see, this one doesn't particularly fit as a cause or effect of reality, but rather, it deals with the various forms of reality that exist and how they exist. Typically, I don't think you'll be doing this on the exam as it actually delves quite deep philosophically and that's something VCAA doesn't really want to do I assume, but be prepared I guess.

OK, now to actually get down to how breaking it down like such can actually help you. The following mostly applies for the expository and persuasive styles, but I imagine the imaginative style can use a modified exercise which suits its purpose better. Basically, I based the majority of my context study off the structure described above because it allowed me to break down exactly what information I needed to obtain easily, rather than blinding hunting on a broad topic such as 'reality' or 'conflict'. Since I did 'Whose Reality?', I started thinking about the 'big ideas' of reality, and came up with various forms such as the subjective reality, objective reality and physical reality, and from there, came across various other forms  of reality on Wikipedia thought up by philosophers such as 'hyper reality' and the 'absolute reality'. Once I had listed all these down, I would extend dot points outwards which listed any evidence from my prescribed texts which explains these concepts, followed by a piece of information not from my texts which also explains these concepts. I would then go to the 'causes' and think of things which cause these various forms of reality to exist and ask myself questions such as 'Why is there a subjective reality' and such, which gave broad answers such as physical and psychological differences, from which I could break it down further into things like mental illnesses and such for psychological. Yet again, just list a piece of evidence from your texts, and one from elsewhere. Lastly of course, I got to the 'consequences' where I'd just do the same thing again as causes and just write out possible consequences and evidence etcetc.

Also, through this structure, an aspect of the context should be made more clear to you which will actually affect the way you write. The context key words are not straight-forward and well defined. As I've just pointed out, I realised there was various forms of reality such as the physical, the subjective and so on. In this case, this means it actually makes no sense to just use the word 'reality' on its own in any of my essays as I haven't specified which type, and hence my sentence will lose all clarity. Even VCAA themselves apostrophised the word 'reality' in their 'Whose Reality?' prompt in 2008, so I'd see it as an indication that VCAA too acknowledges such distinctions and will probably penalise people who view the context too low-level. I'd say all of the context key-words are multi-faceted as conflict can be seen in terms of physical conflict such as war, as well as lesser thought of ones such as emotional or conflicts within one self, and such distinctions can be seen throughout all four contexts. It is due to this that you will always need to be more specific in your essays and your general thinking when approaching these ideas and I guess this is my warning for you all.

Anyway getting back to what I was saying, it doesn't really matter exactly how you apply this structure; personally I just had a word document where I'd copy-paste excerpts from Wikipedia and journals and such, but a scrapbook is often recommended for context by teachers. Basically, the point of this was just to show that despite how daunting the context seems at first and how ambiguous your aims and goals are for studying it, it definitely can be broken down tier by tier and approached in a more manageable way, and I think the three catagories I've outlined above are just a nice, simple starting point for doing this. Of course, if you find a better way which works for you; go for it. This was just my method and thought others would find it beneficial. Also, using such a structure when it comes to studying will also help you. Last year, I put a lot of effort into mastering the 'cause' style essays and did to a full mark level as practically every commercial trial exam had this style of question for 'Whose Reality?' and it seemed to me like the most obvious style of question to ask as I thought consequence questions would probably have too much overlap with the Conflict context. But no. A consequence question did indeed come up on the exam and I pretty much got screwed over as I did none of these for exam practise. Sure, I had a few examples and such that gave me fuel in the exam, but it was definitely no where near as good quality as what I had produced on 'cause' style essays. Basically the lesson is to study equally among these sections, and dividing the context into these three will probably help achieve such a balance.

What are the text types?
The text types as indicated by VCAA are:
My advice is to decide early on in the year which one of these you're intending to do on the exam, and utterly master that style. Also note that these styles are not to be seen as always mutually exclusive, and you can write what is called a 'hybrid' piece which combines two of these styles, although I think the only way that'd work is if you combine expository with imaginative, or persuasive with imaginative. This is because the expository and persuasive styles in my view are mutually exclusive and I don't see how a piece could be both at the same time.

Persuasive Writing
Purpose: The purpose of a persuasive piece is quite obvious - to persuade the audience that your point of view is correct.
Forms: There are MANY possible forms for persuasive writing. Some include:
Stylistic Features: You should know from language analysis the features of a persuasive piece already. Most obvious of all, remember your PERSUASIVE TECHNIQUES. I'm not going to go through each of these as you should know them, but ones you should definitely remember are negative word connotations and rhetorical questions since they stand out. The other feature you should have if you want a better mark is at least a paragraph of rebuttal. To do this, just pretend you're arguing the other side, think of an argument, and then counter-argue it.

Imaginative Writing
Purpose: Imaginative pieces will tend to be either expository or persuasive, but other times it might be hard to define their purpose. Basically, do whatever you want as long as the ideas relate to the prompt.
Forms: There's quite a wide variety of forms for this, but the most common would be things such as short stories, diary entries and the like. Try and be creative and go for something weird; it often pays off.
Stylistic Features: It really depends on the form. There's not much advice I can give about imaginative writing except that you just need to make sure that you don't go too nuts with it. Basically, check that:
Example: CLICK HERE

Expository Writing
SOON TO BE RELOCATED

FAQ
Note: PM me any questions and I'll add them here.

Do we have to use our texts?
For SACs, ask your teacher as the requirements change throughout every school. For the exam, yes, you definitely must use your text in some form or another. This is clearly indicated in VCAA stating that you must use 'detail from at least one text selected from the English/ESL Text list 2'. Also, one of the four criteria used to mark the piece is 'effective use of detail and ideas drawn from the selected text as appropriate to the task', so I assume that despite the freedom given in context writing, quite significant use of the provided texts is still imperative in obtaining a high mark.

How do we use our texts?
The key to using your texts is linking with IDEAS. I've bolded this word through this guide because this is the foundation of context writing. It is about ideas, but ideas must be supported with evidence, and often you will also use your texts as direct sources of evidence. This can be done by:
However, sometimes people may not want to use their texts directly, and often they cannot such as in a pure imaginative piece. In these cases, you could either resort to indirect quoting (quoting a SIGNIFICANT phrase from the book but pretending it is your own words), or rely on OBVIOUS idea links. If there is a predominate theme throughout your book, by adopting a similar theme in your piece, you should be able to score the marks for textual references. This can be ASSISTED by mirroring elements of the book, such as adopting a similar setting, character names, events and so on, but keep in mind that unless you have idea links, then these are simply just gimmicks.

How much do we have to use our texts?
I can't give a straight answer to this and the examiner's report is likely to change my answer to this, but I still recommend that 50% of your evidence should come from your texts. I did the expository style for the entire year, and what I did was that in each paragraph, I'd have an idea supported by a piece of evidence from my text, then backed up by a piece of evidence from another source. This was an easy way to maintain the 50% balance, and it worked quite well for me considering this structure got me a 10/10 from a VCAA examiner in two trial exams I did.

How does expository or persuasive context essay writing differ to text responses?
If you're doing an essay style, many will ask what the difference is between these pieces. Basically, as I've mentioned throughout, context writing is about ideas, and hence, the focus of your piece are on these ideas. As a consequence, the topic sentences in your context writing will always refer to a GENERALISED IDEA, from which you use your texts and other material to support, whereas the topic sentences in your text responses will be likely to refer directly to the text itself.

What's the difference between an essay topic and a prompt?
The most obvious difference is that the prompt isn't actually phrased as a question. Consequently, you don't actually have to directly respond to it or agree/disagree with it or anything; it is merely there to inspire you and let your writing be based off of it. As a result, usually it is best to narrow down the prompt into a smaller focus question and work from there as it keeps your piece more focused.
Title: Re: English Guides, Tips and Resources
Post by: lynt.br on December 19, 2010, 12:23:09 am
COSTARGH'S LANGUAGE ANALYSIS STUDY PACK
Original thread here

Due to popular demand I am releasing my Language Analysis Study Pack
It consists of:
- A methodological guide to writing a language analysis
- Three personally written examples
- A visual image activity

Hint: Look for elements in my examples that you can transfer into your essays. This is the method I used to help refine my own writing and develop it.

Enjoy!
Title: Re: English Guides, Tips and Resources
Post by: lynt.br on December 19, 2010, 12:26:59 am
LYNT.BR'S CRASH COURSE IN LANGUAGE ANALYSIS
Original thread here


Preface

I made this post in another thread but figured it was pretty comprehensive so I've decided to turn it into a thread of its own. Essentially this is a crash course in how to approach Language Analysis, either in a SAC or an exam.

Honestly I found Language Analysis to be the most formulaic section on the English exam and consequently the most straightforward. Once you know what exactly the examiners are looking for and then devise some structure so that you satisfy this criteria, it really does become a mechanical 'fill in the blanks' process. The objective of this guide is to shed some light on the structure I used in VCE English Language Analysis and how it can hopefully help you blitz through what I believe is the easiest section of the exam.

As the original post was in response to a question, this guide doesn't cover all there is about language analysis. Most noticeably, it does not explain how to handle the introduction, conclusion, visuals or what to do if you have to analyse 2+ articles. This guide simply covers how you should approach the actual analysis part of a language analysis. If I ever get the time, I may update this thread to account for the areas I have not covered, although bear in mind, it took my over 2000 words to explain the process behind creating a 120 word paragraph. Hopefully that explains why I may be slow in updating this guide, if I ever get around to it.

A lot of the examples and extracts I use in this guide were loosely based on the 2008 English Exam's Language Analysis section (I personally prefer that article over the 2009 one for the purposes of language analysis). Because VCAA doesn't show the article on its website, I've attached it at the bottom of this post. All credit to the illustrator yada yada.

Also if people would be so kind as to notify me if I've made any stupid spelling errors or grammatical mistakes. This is something I'm prone to do, a problem only exacerbated when most of this guide was written in a sleep deprived state of mind (as evidenced by this thread's time of post).
 

A Crash Course in Language Analysis
Written (and yet to be edited) by lynt.br

You aren't awarded marks for being able to name 'persuasive techniques'. You often see people after a SAC or exam discussing "Did you get X technique? I missed Y technique". This is the wrong approach to language analysis. Examiners are looking for students who are sensitive to the effects a piece of writing will have on a reader and why readers are likely to feel this way. Essentially, they want to know what is the effect of the persuasive element? and why is that effect likely to occur?

A good approach is to look at the article as a whole and consider the main arguments it is trying to make. What is the writer's objective? What does he or she want the reader to feel at certain points in the text? Once you have identified this, you then determine how the writer uses language to achieve this effect. If the text made you feel anger or disgust to a certain group, how did it do so and why?

This is where you can start locating persuasive techniques or elements that support the writer's objective. If you observe the writer is trying to make you feel sympathy for group X, you may identify that this is achieved through the use of highly emotive words or emotional appeals that provoke pity towards the wronged group. If the writer is trying to make the reader realise the absurdity of a certain proposition, you may identify that they use a rhetorical question to illustrate how no one would agree with the propositions terms.

When you work through the article this way you are no longer bound by identifying persuasive techniques, or feeling as though you need to memorise a list of persuasive techniques and then scan an article looking for them. You may also realise that some of your answers to the question "how does the writer achieve this effect?" are not confined to a specific technique. This is fine. In fact, I would argue that it is actually the better approach because it shows you really understand the "how?" question rather than just memorising techniques. As long as you can justify how something you have identified creates a certain effect, it does not matter whether you refer to it as a persuasive technique or not. For example, if you are explaining how a sense of emergency is evoked within readers through words and phrases such as "crisis", "danger" and "impending disaster", you do not necessarily have to explicitly mention that this is an appeal to fear.

A basic but effective structure to follow when writing a language analysis would look as follows. This is essentially what I did in my exam.

The basic formula when analysing language is:

Quote
A technique/element is used in B specific example to create C effect. This is likely to occur because of D.

Let me step through each letter.

A.
If you are going to mention the persuasive technique, use it as a framing device for your specific examples in part B. "An appeal to reader sympathy through the use of emotive language such as "X" "Y" "Z"....". You may notice that mentioning the technique is not really necessary or indeed sometimes impossible as examples X Y Z won't fall under a specific technique. As I said earlier, this is not an issue. This example could just as easily and validly have started as "emotional language such as "X", "Y", "Z"" or even just "words such as "X", "Y", "Z"....".

B.
Obviously you need to give examples. Don't just say the writer uses rhetorical questions to achieve X effect without giving an example. Your examples should also be as specific and precise as possible. If you can, you should aim to look at the individual words or phrases within an example that cause the effect C. Obviously this will not always be possible. Sometimes you will have to analyse a rhetorical question or a metaphor as a whole and cannot break it down any further. As a general rule of thumb, the more precise your examples, the better your analysis.

To illustrate, look at the following extract:
Quote
The metaphor "toxic parents are poisoning our club" encourages readers to recognise the gravity of the issue. Readers are led to believe that such parents are a malign influence on the sports club. The use of inclusive language further personalises the issue and engenders a sense of responsibility amongst readers who may realise that unless action is taken, these sports-aggressive parents will continue to sour the club's atmosphere."

This is by no means a bad analysis, but it is not a effective one either because it is simply too broad. Essentially, it states that the entire metaphor quoted has the effects it lists. In reality, only specific elements of the metaphor create the effect listed. For instance, it is the specific words "toxic" and "poisonous" that create the perception of the parents as a malign influence. As I mentioned earlier, quoting the entire metaphor (ie. identifying the technique) should simply create a frame for your analysis. You then dissect elements or words from this 'frame' to analyse. It's a bit like saying "Here is a section of the text we are going to look at" and then dissecting that section bit by bit.

You may have noticed other mistakes in that example. For instance, I mentioned inclusive language but didn't give a pinpoint example. Even if you think it is obvious from the section quoted, it is always beneficial to pinpoint the exact word/phrase which is 'inclusive' rather than making the examiner do the work of figuring that out.

A further issue is that I have not explained why the effects listed are likely to occur. I'll address this issue when I look at part D.

By noting these shortcomings and making some corrections, we can vastly improve our analysis by making it much more precise and clear:
Quote
The metaphor "toxic parents are poisoning our club" encourages readers to recognise the gravity of the issue. The words "toxic" and "poisoning" invite the perception that such parents are a malign influence on the sports club. The inclusive term "our club" further personalises the issue and engenders a sense of responsibility amongst readers who may realise that unless action is taken, these sports-aggressive parents will continue to sour the club's atmosphere."

This is much better, but it still has problems. Namely, I haven't explained why readers will feel this way. I'll address this issue when we look at section D.

C.
What is the resultant or likely effect of the examples listed in B? This is extremely straightforward yet is critical to the success of your language analysis. Emotional appeals are obviously designed to elicit a certain emotional response from readers, statistics may make the writer look more informed, rhetorical questions may highlight something as absurd etc. etc. Just remember that the relationship between a technique and its effect is not fixed. Always analyse the effect of a technique in the context of the text you are analysing. Statistics may not always have the primary effect of making the writer look informed, they may instead highlight the magnitude or pettiness of something.

Another thing to avoid is specifying the effect in terms that are too broad or in a way that does not relate clearly to the text. Do not simply say "the appeal to fear XYZ raises concern and worry in readers." Concern and worry for what? You need to relate the effects back to the issue described in the text, otherwise your statements will be too general.

Too general:
Quote
The inclusive term "our club" causes readers to feel involved and creates a sense of responsibility.

Involved in what? Responsibility to do what? Do not let your examiner ask such questions.

Relate it to the issue described in the text:
Quote
The inclusive term "our club" further personalises the issue and engenders a sense of responsibility amongst readers, many of who will invariable be parents that attend the sports club and would be compelled to take preventative action against sports aggressive parents to preserve the amicable atmosphere of the sports venue.


D.
Section D should explain why the effect listed in C is likely to happen. This is probably the most commonly omitted section in language analysis, yet it is probably of equal importance to section C. A lot of students know that examiners are looking for effects rather than techniques, but then fail to flesh out their discussion of the effects by not explaining how these effects are likely to come about. The simplest way to satisfy this section is to use the word "because..."  e.g., "X effect happens because of Y".

Look at the example used before:
Quote
The metaphor "toxic parents are poisoning our club" encourages readers to recognise the gravity of the issue. The words "toxic" and "poisoning" invite the perception that such parents are a malign influence on the sports club.

Why do these words invite such a perception? Because the words have strong negative connotations attached which imply something perverse or pernicious.

Quote
The words "toxic" and "poisoning" invite the perception that such parents are a malign influence on the sports club because of their strong attached negative connotations which imply something destructive.

A problem arises when you try to cram too many sections into one sentence. Often the sentence will come out clumsy or ambiguous like the one above. Does the portion in red relate to the words or the parents? It may seem obvious that in the context of language analysis it is referring to the words quoted, but this sort of clumsy ambiguous language should still be avoided if possible. There is nothing wrong with breaking up long sentences which can't be handled easily into a series or sentences. This often allows more discussion as well.

Quote
The words "toxic" and "poisoning" have strong attached negative connotations which invite the perception that such parents are a malign influence on the sports club. This is because "toxic" implies something destructive and the verb "poisoning" suggests something is being killed or debased - in this case, the clubs friendly and supportive atmosphere.

The best answers will relate why an effect is likely to occur with specific audience groups. In the example I used earlier, the inclusive language is more likely to engender a sense of responsibility amongst parents who frequent the sports club because they are a stakeholder in the issue. It is going to be less persuasive to someone who does not go to that sports club and therefore is less inclined to care about its well-being.

For example:
Quote
A description of the chickens as being "slaughtered", "butchered" and "maimed" is likely to provoke a strong sense of sympathy and injustice, particularly amongst readers who are sensitive to animal rights and are therefore more likely to empathise with the chickens or feel an aversion towards such acts of cruelty.

So if you put all those steps together, we end up with this:
Quote
The metaphor "toxic parents are poisoning our club" encourages readers to recognise the gravity of the issue. The words "toxic" and "poisoning" have strong attached negative connotations which invite the perception that such parents are a malign influence on the sports club. This is because "toxic" implies something destructive and the verb "poisoning" suggests something has been 'killed' - in this case, the clubs friendly and supportive atmosphere.The inclusive term "our club" further personalises the issue and may compel readers, particularly those who attend the sports club, to confront sports-aggressive parents about their behaviour.

The good thing about this structure is that each section is modular. You can, and should, mix up your order of A, B, C and D (Although obviously make sure what you're writing makes logical sense). If you stick to the exact same formula throughout the entire language analysis, your writing will be predictable, boring and overly prescribed. To show that you are doing more than just working from a set formula (even if you actually are), try to mix up the way you order sections A, B, C and D every now and then. For instance, maybe start by describing the effect first rather than the technique, then going back to explain how the effect was achieved.

The challenge now is to be able to familiarise yourself with these four steps so that in an exam or SAC you can quickly cover as much of the article as necessary and in sufficient detail. There is no point having a perfect analysis of only one quarter of the article. Aim to make this process mechanical so that when it comes to an exam or SAC, you know exactly what you need to be writing and can avoid worrying about whether or not you are satisfying the criteria.


Last Updated 20/3/10
Title: Re: English Guides, Tips and Resources
Post by: lynt.br on December 19, 2010, 12:29:46 am
EVANGELIONZETA'S GUIDE TO PREPARING FOR THE ENGLISH EXAM
Original thread here


As we approach D-Day, I've started to notice the same sorts of questions pop up repeatedly in threads.  As a result, I think it would be prudent to compile common concerns, and address them with one sticky topic - so here goes.

Dear EZ: What do I do?

One of the most common concerns of people is "How do I study for English?".  Fair enough.  Unlike maths or science, it doesn't seem like you can just jump straight into an exam, mark it yourself, and work out approximately what study score you'll get.  So where to begin?

Genesis: The Beginning

Initially, I would recommend you work out where you stand in regards to the three tasks required of you - language analysis, context, and text response.  The former is arguably the only one which can be approached in a science/maths sort of fashion, something which I will go into later.  For the context and the text part of the exam however, what you need to do is reflect upon how much you actually know - can you list all of the major scenes in your texts (for both context and text response) off the top of your head?  Do you remember quotes?  Can you pick out the major themes for the prompts you're going to get?  If no is the answer to these questions, it's time for some note-making to occur.

In terms of notes, English actually doesn't need to be that detailed, save for perhaps the quote sheet.  In my experience, it's easiest to start by looking at old/company exam prompts; some of the are horrendeous (for instance, the prompt "How do Richard's soliloquies influence the audience's response to the play?" in the Kilbaha 2009 exam is too narrow to come up unless the VCAA wants to screw you over), but on the whole you can probably glean from them the commonly occuring "themes" which occur.  In Whose Reality, for instance, you'll often find that topics relate to how our realities our formed (with a special focus on subjectivity, memory, illusion and relationships) and the results of differences occuring within our realities (usually conflict or misunderstanding). 

Language Analysis: The Unloved Child

I should point out before I get too detailed that language analysis is, first of all, probably the worst part of the English exam, and secondly, the easiest.  Everything from here onwards pretty much applies to language analysis (minus most of the notemaking part), but in less detail.  If you're not too good on language analysis terms, read one of the various guides on the forum - they're all great resources.  You won't need to spend as much time working on language analysis, but it's absolutely essential you start off by writing the essays with no constraints, so that you can perfect whichever "formula" you intend on using.  As soon as you have your "formula" perfected, go write a bunch of timed ones, until you can do a "perfected formula" response to time.  After that, write one every so often, but concentrate more on the other two tasks, since they're much more complicated and require more thought to succeed in.  Godspeed.

The Manipulator: Making the Notes

Moving on from that segue, after you've identified the common themes of the various prompts, the next stage is to work out exactly what kind of arguments you'll need, and what kind of evidence you'll need to support it.  To be honest, I'd recommend tackling a few of the easier looking essay prompts first before doing anything else - that way, you work out what kind of quotes are easy to use, and what kind of arguments flow most naturally when writing.  When you've done a handful of such essays (I usually moved on after three), I would then begin to compile a set of notes.  You can, of course, plagarise your own work - in fact, my quote sheet for Richard III was essentially just copy-pasting all the quotes I had used in three essays and a set of thirty comprehension/analysis questions which my teacher had set.  By the same token, note down points you've used before (especially in Context, where each text will only really lend itself to being used for half a dozen points at most if you're not doing Creative), and set them all out in a document, for easy reference.

Study Scores: Revenge of the Essays

With this process done, it's easiest to go back to writing more essays.  I would actually recommend against "memorising" anything until the final two or three weeks before the exam (in fact, I consciously tried to memorise my Classics quotes in the last week before the exam) - in the process of compiling notes and writing essays, you actually come to remember things, so it's unnecessary to try and remember things until you KNOW you need to work to remember them. 

Of course, there's more to it this time.  In the process of writing the essays following the note process, it's absolutely essential (even moreso than before) that you get your work marked, whether it be by your teacher or (failing that) somebody whom you know, like a tutor or even people on VCENotes.  This is because you want to "perfect" your work - I would allow for redrafting and spending unrealistic amounts of time writing, and at this stage I would definitely recommend avoiding writing to time.  The easiest way to explain why is by analogy: writing a lot of "dumb" essays at this stage is like sifting through a dark, smelly hole to find the light of camembert cheese.  Writing a lot of "perfected" essays is, in contrast, more akin to making the cheese yourself in the middle of a gourmet cheese kitchen (or wherever they make cheese).  Sure, you might randomly find some camembert one day wandering around (provided you don't die first from a lack of nourishment and sunlight), but growing the camembert yourself will allow you to replicate its process, until gradually, even in the middle of a dark, smelly hole, you can do it using the moulds which grow on cave walls or something.

Just an extra note that by "perfect", I don't mean that it has to be a 10/10.  Obviously, different people will "max out" at different numbers - what I mean is that you should get to a level where you feel satisfied, before you proceed to the next stage.

Time: The Next Frontier

Ignoring my almost pointless analogy, you should maintain your untimed essay writing until say, the end of the term 3 holidays (which, at the time of writing, is around now).  I'm not suggesting you should NEVER have written a timed essay by this point - I'd expect you to have done so in class, but if not, I guess do one or two earlier in the year to get the hang of it. 

Anyway, following your "perfecting" of your essays (and even if you aren't getting the scores you want by this stage), I would start to write to time.  Don't begin with the exact exam time - allow yourself maybe half an hour extra at the start if you REALLY need it, and gradually work your way up.  You don't want to throw yourself into the deep end too quickly - like a Pokemon, gradually build your skills from fighting level 20s, then levels 30s, instead of jumping right into the Elite Four.  Maybe try a practice exam with two or three weeks to go to see how you are with writing essays progressively.  This might be sounding like it's leaving it a bit late, but as long as you've had some practice beforehand, and as long as you've got "perfect" essays to work on, the speed-writing process should be made a bit faster, and hopefully, with three weeks to go, you can comfortably settle into the exam writing time.  My school has their practice exam two weeks before the actual one - this worked for me personally, but I would probably aim to do at least one three hour slogfest before the final two week run.  Don't overdo it though - to borrow my teacher's analogy, you don't want to train for a marathon by repeatedly running marathons.

Neon Genesis VCE English: The End of VCE English

By the last two or three weeks, you'll want to just keep practicing timing.  If it's really not working out (you're spending say, five-ten minutes more than you should), maybe cut back on your word count, but don't panic too much, since adrenaline in the exam will make you slightly faster (I went from finishing practice exams just in time in Classics to having about ten minutes leftover).  At the same time, try not to stress out to the point of figurative death - you don't want to work yourself up too hard before the big day, and in particular, you don't want to overwrite to the point where it all gets stale.

Once you feel fully confident (can't say when this will be for everyone, but for a couple of my friends it was around 10 timed essays in), it might be a better use of your time to write DETAILED plans instead of full essays.  This approach is actually quite useful, as it allows you to go through the same process as essay writing, with less emphasis on getting the writing done to time/quality (which you've already perfected) and more emphasis on mastering ideas.  The best way to go about this in my opinion is to write a full intro, topic sentences for every point, and then list the examples/quotes you're going to use under every point.  I know somebody who got 50 in the past, who wrote around 10-15 essays total, but something like 30 plans.  Crazy?  Perhaps.  Efficient?  Definitely.

The night before, just chill out, and don't stress too much.  It's time to start getting relaxed - you don't want to burn out right before the big three hours the next day.  Reread notes/essays/plans.  Memorise quotes.  Just don't stress, and don't write more essays.

On the day of the exam, take a deep breath and step in.  Calm yourself down beforehand and get a good night's sleep.  Make sure you use your reading time properly, and if you see an essay topic you've done/planned before, count yourself lucky, but don't get complacent.  Always make sure you work towards the nuances of what they are requiring of you.  The power is yours.

A Song of English and Concern: A Storm of Woes

What?  You want more?  Ok, here's a few miscellaneous comments to address common questions about the English exam.

To begin with, probably the most common (and controversial) query is how many words to write.  Personally, I would recommend 1000+ for all three (preferably 1200+ for Context and Text Response if you want the perfect 10s), but 800+ will probably suffice if you want to comfortably get an 8.  Something like a 9 or even a 10 is also doable (although 10s in particular are almost always of a considerable length) with such a number, but realistically, the longer an essay is, the more depth and content it can potentially have.  With that said, don't just write a lot for the sake of writing a lot - if you simply can't do it to time, or get 1000+ by padding out with pointless sentences, then you'd probably score better with less words. 

Second point, read the examiner's report, but remember that their samples are usually of the 8/10 level.  They might say that they're high scoring responses, but to get a 9 or a 10, you'll need to top what they provide you with.  Look at the work directory sticky to find essays written by people who have gotten in the mid-high 40s range - they are generally superior to what you will find on the VCAA website.

Thirdly, the issue of time may often be significant.  If you really feel concerned, start earlier than I have indicated.  Nevertheless, I stand by what I say in arguing that the best way to improve time is to write a lot of essays after having "perfected" what you are going to write.  Memorise if absolutely necessary.  Also, as an extra tip, I'd recommend not giving the same amount of time to your three essays - language analysis is generally accepted to be shorter, so ideally you'll spend only 50 or 55 minutes on it to allow for extra time with the other two.

Fourthly, this isn't really a query or even common, but I feel the need to vent.  Whilst you should take advantage of what is available on this forum, don't abuse it.  Exercise some independence in your studies - don't become clingy and annoying and entirely reliant on VCENotes.  I say this because I've had a few pms asking me specifically to mark work: whilst this is fine and dandy, don't abuse the kindness of others (ie. don't spam inboxes with requests...), but more importantly, be polite.  Personally, I for one am much more inclined to mark work from somebody who asks nicely, over somebody who is all "OMG MARK ME ESSAY PL0X". 

Finally, in regards to study guides and tutors, go for them by all means.  I would also highly recommend lynt.br, Shinny, costargh and Nick's guides, which are also stickied - all tfour are well written and contain pretty much everything you need to grapple with the course. 

Conclusion: 2000 Words Later

Remember, the VCE English Exam is not a monster.  It will not bite your head off.  You can conquer it through hard work, determination, and perhaps a bit of luck.  But also remember that it isn't really an indication of "real" English ability (well, I guess it sort of is), and that it's not the end of the world if you don't get an amazing score in it. 

Good luck.

"When we are born, we cry that we are come to this great stage of fools." - King Lear, Act IV, Scene vi
Title: Re: English Guides, Tips and Resources
Post by: lynt.br on December 19, 2010, 12:33:51 am
NICK'S ESSENTIAL WRITING TIPS
Original thread here


TEXT RESPONSES

The 5 C’s of text responses

CONCEPT
•   Have you precisely shown the key concept or value, which is the heart of the topic, and clarified how it applies within the text?
•   Is this concept continuously explored?

CONTENTION
•   Is your contention outlined and fully explained initially, so that the full dimensions of the topic will be resolved?
•   Does your contention incorporate the central concept or value?

CONTENT
•   Can you fully justify your contention on the basis of your textual analysis, through specific references and succinct quotations?
•   Can you step back sufficiently from the minute details of the text o explore is wider significance in light of he central values, characters, concepts, notions and plot details?

COHERENCE
•   Is your argument developed logically?
•   Are your points sequenced in a clear and connected manner so that your argument is consistently building and reinforcing?

CLARITY
•   Is your expression sharply focused, formal, controlled, adult and appropriate?
•   Is your sentence structure, paraphrasing and ideas accurate and controlled?

APPROACHING SAC/EXAM TEXT RESPONSES
Regardless of whether you are sitting the November examination or an English SAC task, the criteria for text responses will always revolve around the following criteria.
Relevance to the topic
Close and specific knowledge of text
Appropriateness of expression


Below is a list of tips which refer specifically to each element of the criteria. Following this criterion is imperative if you are planning to rise to the standard of a 40+ student.

Relevance to the topic
•   Your teachers and assessors need to be convinced that you have responded directly to the chosen topic and have not simply decided to present a memorised essay or simply write around the topic.
•   Even if you write an essay in a SAC or exam which shows a strong level of textual knowledge but ignores the topic, it will be given a low score.
•   Remember that you are required to write in an argumentative manner in response to the topic. When examining the topic view it as a line of argument about the text, which you need to challenge based on your knowledge of the text.
•   You need to present your own views about a set topic or perception of the text, in a way which qualifies the topic statement.
•   You need to challenge the topic in your mind, asking yourself to what extent you agree or disagree with this stance about the text.
•   Then, explore and examine the situations for which this topic is, in your view, an accurate one for the text, and when it ought to be qualified (that is, limited or reframed)
•   The best answers will perceive individual and distinctive implications to the topic, thereby revealing a depth and sophistication in the understanding of the ideas presented.
•   Never regurgitate the plot of the text. You must be selective in the details of the text that you present to your audience and show that you possess an in-depth knowledge of the chosen text.
•   Resist the temptation to “tell everything about the text that you know”.
•   There is no excuse for forgetting the names of characters or the key details in the text. You need to therefore re-read your texts before SACs and before the November examination.
•   Aim to memorise about 10-15 brief quotations for each of your texts for SACs and the exam. Integrate them within the body of the sentence, preferably using succinct quoted phrases.

KNOWLEDGE OF THE TEXT
•   You must show a close and detailed knowledge of the text in question. This means that you will have studied all of the elements that make up the text before attempting to write your text response. In other words, when you revise the text and your class notes, identify the key textual elements within them: plot development, characterization, relationships, major crisis points, catalysts for change, distinctive structural elements, stylistic elements, symbols, themes and issues.
•   You cannot rely alone upon commercial guides to texts. It is your own understanding that must be shown to achieve an A+ grade on a SAC or examination.

QUALITY OF EXPRESSION
•   Since this subject obviously is English, the calibre and appropriateness of your expression is a matter of importance. English teachers and assessors do realize that you are writing under pressure, and in a finite amount of time.  Nevertheless, they are obliged to take into account the quality and clarity of the written language you employ.
•   Allow time to proof read- English teachers and assessors would much rather see crossing out which shows that you have checked the accuracy of your writing than be confronted with a host of silly, avoidable syntax (word order) or spelling errors.

If you are able to follow this criterion in an effective and efficient manner, your writing will possess all the required characteristics of a high scoring response.

For those who have forgotten or are still unsure on the structure of a text response, here is a basic rundown of the key considerations.

INTRODUCTION
Your opening paragraph should be purposeful and direct. You should aim to use sophisticated language and expression, but ensure that you are not overly verbose in the way that you convey your ideas. Express your ideas directly and succinctly, but don’t hesitate to throw in some linguistic flair to show off your abilities.
Ensure that you:
o   Immediately tackle the topic
o   Demonstrate that you understand the proposition or question
o   Respond to all parts of the topic
o   Relate the topic closely to the text in your introduction
o   Provide your own contention in an articulate and well-reasoned fashion
o   Set up a line of argument so that the reader can see where the essay is heading. Ensure that this element of the introduction is clear and logical.
o   Provide a link to the next paragraph

BODY OF THE ESSAY
Use several paragraphs to develop your line of argument, with careful selection of textual evidence. Use TEEL for each paragraph to keep your answer relevant and ensure the logical development of your ideas. 3-4 abundantly developed paragraphs are more than sufficient.

Ensure that each paragraph is heavily constituted by direct textual evidence, and ideas which are logical, clear and articulately expressed. Be constantly making mature and well reasoned analytical statements to back up your evidence. If you can’t justify what you are contending with direct textual evidence, don’t bother including it in your response.

T= Topic sentence- the next point in your argument, around which the rest of the paragraph is built
E= Explanation of the way in which your points address the topic
E= Evidence from the text to support your views, including pertinent quotes
L= Links between what you are contending in this paragraph and your overall argument, and between this paragraph and the next.

CONCLUSION
When writing the conclusion to your essay ensure that you:
o   Restate the contention and your line of argument
o   Briefly refer to the key pieces of evidence from the text that you have used t support your argument
o   Neatly tie the various lines of argument and evidence together, showing that they resolve your contention.
o   Provide a sense of closure to your argument

STRUCTURING YOUR WRITING TASK: ANALYSIS OF LANGUAGE USE

INTRODUCTION
Outlines the nature of the issue/controversy
Identifies the central stakeholders (who has a direct interest in the issue)
The stance taken in the pieces for analysis
How the reader/listener is being positioned (this can be included later but it is good to include it in the intro)
Broad identification of the tonality

BODY (how the language intentionally operates on the reader)
Either analyse each article separately or conjointly, there is no preferable way to approach this, provided that you clearly structure your analysis. I prefer to analyse each piece separately (2 paragraphs for each piece or one large paragraph for each)
Acknowledge how the form of the piece operates
Identify specific elements of language use upon which to comment: specific appeals made; argumentative manipulation such as rhetorical questions and generalizations; the language used and its tonality, including any humour or cynicism.
Analyse the intended effect on the reader
Ensure that there is a neat link between analyses, if undertaken separately 

CONCLUSION
Recap the key forms of influential language
You may wish to briefly compare the relative impact of each piece on the intended audience.

When approaching “Analysis of Language use” (Part C of the exam) or the issues section of Unit 3, it would be advisable to keep in mind “TAPE”

Tone:
Hear the article for analysis in your head
What tonality is most readily apparent?
Which words/phrases most embody this aspect?
How significant is this in potentially persuading us?

Audience:
To whom is the text directed?
What position would these people tend to hold? Are they stakeholders with vested interest?
How is the author seeking to connect with them?
How inclusive is this approach?

Purpose:
Is this seeking to change, challenge or reinforce existing views and opinions?

Effect:
How do we react to the language and emotive effects being utilized?
What persuades us most and how?

WORDS TO ANALYSE THE GIVEN LANGUAGE INCLUDE:
Suggests               Reflects                             
Indicates               Shows
Implies                 Provokes
Inspires                Asserts
Reveals                Aims
Represents

Creates a sense of
Is intended to
Makes the reader feel
Is designed to
Leads the reader to believe
Contends
Impugns the motives
Alerts the reader
Inclusively addresses us
Engages us emotively
Appeals to our self interest
Positions the reader to feel

WORDS TO DESCRIBE THE TONE THAT AN AUTHOR IS UTILISING

animated
ardent
convincing
definite
determined
elated
enthusiastic
evangelical
fervent
forceful
passionate
rapturous
spirited
visionary
zestful
insincere

arrogant
boastful
bombastic
bullying
chauvinistic
condescending
officious
ominous
patronizing
self-righteous
superior
threatening
cynical
insinuating
negative
pessimistic
snide
satirical
hopeful
optimistic

courageous
undefeated

jingoistic
patriotic
xenophobic

abusive
acrimonious
aggressive
annoyed
antagonistic
apoplectic
appalled
biting
bitter
confrontational
embittered
grim
hostile
jeering
scathing
scornful
wrathful

carping
censuring
complaining
critical
insensitive
sententious
cheerful
encouraging

amazed
anxious
astonished
baffled
frustrated
incredulous
puzzled

moralizing
preaching
didactic

foolish
hypocritical
rustic
silly

absurd
amused
bantering
entertaining
facetious
frivolous
humorous
ironical
quizzical
ridiculing
risqué
seditious
vulgar
wry
whimsical

brooding
despondent
disappointed
discouraged
distressed
exhausted
grumbling
regretful
sad
tragic
whingeing

caustic
sacrilegious
sarcastic
scathing
venomous
vicious
vindictive

guarded
watchful

heavy-handed
ponderous
self-important

mawkish
nostalgic
sentimental
soppy

amicable
admiring
appreciative
approving
benevolent
comforting
conciliatory
friendly
liberal
open minded
supportive
sympathetic
understanding

convincing
dogmatic
forthright
frank
rhetorical
strident
unequivocal
evasive

apologetic
defensive
deprecating
humble
obsequious
pleading
subservient
sycophantic

apathetic
indifferent
unmoved
stoic

facile
straight forward
uncomplicated

businesslike
calculating
controlled
earnest
formal
grave
matter of fact
reasonable
sensible
solemn
technical

calm
contemplative
detached
diplomatic
educated
expert
measured
moderate
respectful
trustworthy

bland
clichéd
neutral
volatile
flamboyant

conservative
reactionary
stubborn
traditional

demeaning
disparaging
insulting

blaming
scapegoating

These words are grouped according to similarity of meaning.

A majority of these tone words came from "The English Book 2007" which is worth purchasing from the bookshops.
 

Good luck everyone. I hope this advice thread has been of valuable assistance.  :) Happy writing in 2008.
Title: Re: English Guides, Tips and Resources
Post by: lynt.br on December 19, 2010, 12:37:44 am
FUNYDUCKY'S LIST OF ISSUES FOR ENGLISH ORAL 2011
Original thread here


Hey guys, I thought it would be a good idea to start compiling resources for various current media issues in one thread, for 2011.

To kickstart:
 Wikileaks
http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2010/12/09/3089510.htm
http://www.news.com.au/features/wikileaks/wikileaks-founder-julian-assange-granted-bail-by-uk-court/story-fn79cf6x-1225972462856
http://www.theage.com.au/technology/technology-news/julian-assange-has-committed-no-crime-in-australia-afp-20101217-190eb.html
http://www.theage.com.au/technology/technology-news/exclusive-the-wikileaks-australia-files-20101215-18xwx.html
http://www.theage.com.au/technology/technology-news/assange-will-never-receive-a-fair-trial-hicks-20101214-18wqy.html
http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/world/wikileaks-founder-julian-assange-in-london-high-court-for-bail-fight/story-e6frf7m6-1225972449507
http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/victoria/julia-gillard-coveted-prime-ministership-a-year-before-coup-wikileaks/story-e6frf7kx-1225972531824
http://www.theaustralian.com.au/in-depth/wikileaks/wikileaks-no-real-damage-biden/story-fn775xjq-1225972624522
http://www.theaustralian.com.au/news/opinion/whispers-matter-less-than-shouts/story-e6frg6zo-1225972351126
http://www.theaustralian.com.au/business/media/is-wikileaks-journalism/story-e6frg996-1225972790493
http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2010/12/13/3091317.htm?site=thedrum
http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2010/12/09/3089283.htm?site=thedrum
http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2010/12/14/3093023.htm?site=thedrum
http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2010/11/30/3080265.htm?site=thedrum

Asylum Seekers/Refugees
http://www.theage.com.au/national/unrest-on-christmas-island-as-detainees-protest-over-conditions-20101217-190nh.html
http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/national/survivors-riot-on-christmas-island/story-e6frf7l6-1225972874567
http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/how-labor-wedged-itself-into-a-bad-policy-on-boat-people/
http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/national/immigrants-will-risk-everything-former-refugees-say/story-e6frf7l6-1225972408666
http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/national/perilous-journey-in-search-of-liberty/story-e6frf7l6-1225972414387
http://www.heraldsun.com.au/opinion/no-place-for-politics-in-tragedy/story-e6frfhqf-1225972451242
http://www.theaustralian.com.au/news/nation/immigration-detainees-plead-for-un-help-as-protest-erupts-on-christmas-island/story-e6frg6nf-1225972878190
http://blogs.theaustralian.news.com.au/mumble/index.php/theaustralian/comments/christmas_island_tragedy/
http://www.theaustralian.com.au/news/world/britain-to-stop-detaining-children-of-failed-asylum-seekers/story-e6frg6so-1225972604547
http://www.theaustralian.com.au/national-affairs/asio-rejects-sri-lankan-refugees-from-oceanic-viking-stand-off/story-fn59niix-1225972655960
http://www.abc.net.au/unleashed/42380.html
http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2010/12/15/3094033.htm?site=thedrum


Afghanistan
http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2010/12/17/3095478.htm?section=world
http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2010/12/15/3093499.htm
http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2009/06/03/2588164.htm
http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2010/12/07/3087250.htm
http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2010/10/20/3043118.htm
http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2010/10/19/3041966.htm
http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2010/10/19/3041966.htm
http://www.abc.net.au/news/documents/scribd.htm?id=39566938&key=key-1r6szuf5bfwy4tc4jd35
http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2009/06/02/2587436.htm
http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2010/12/17/3095478.htm
http://www.theage.com.au/world/afghanistan-security-at-low-point-red-cross-20101216-18zjo.html
http://news.theage.com.au/breaking-news-world/us-on-track-in-difficult-afghan-war-obama-20101217-190df.html
http://news.theage.com.au/breaking-news-world/fragile-gains-for-us-afghan-war-strategy-report-20101217-18zu0.html

Gay rights
http://www.theage.com.au/world/girl-in-ballet-pumps-jailed-for-fatally--putting--the-boot-into-gay-civil-servant-20101217-18zuz.html
http://news.theage.com.au/breaking-news-world/us-house-votes-to-lift-military-gay-ban-20101216-18ync.html
http://news.theage.com.au/breaking-news-national/melb-gay-bashing-victim-now-avoids-people-20101215-18xpd.html
http://www.theage.com.au/opinion/society-and-culture/lets-all-be-happy--ban-gay-divorce-not-marriage-20101211-18tbw.html
http://www.theage.com.au/opinion/politics/gay-marriage-is-not-a-political-distraction-20101207-18nsa.html
http://news.theage.com.au/breaking-news-national/rudd-relaxed-about-wongs-gay-push-20101128-18byn.html
http://www.theage.com.au/national/wong-to-campaign-for-gay-marriage-20101127-18bj9.html

Climate Change & Environmental Issues
http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/learn/our-environment-education-resource/story-e6frf7nf-1225956506192

Other
http://news.theage.com.au/breaking-news-world/interpol-warns-of-alqaeda-attacks-20101217-18zv1.html
http://www.theage.com.au/world/unhappy-with-happy-meals-20101216-18zjt.html
http://www.theage.com.au/world/rabbis-denounce-rent-ban-20101216-18zjz.html
Title: Re: English Guides, Tips and Resources
Post by: lynt.br on December 19, 2010, 12:38:00 am
Reserved for future guides.
Title: Re: English Guides, Tips and Resources
Post by: lynt.br on December 19, 2010, 12:38:17 am
Reserved for future guides.
Title: Re: English Work Examples Directory
Post by: LOVEPHYSICS on December 26, 2010, 05:28:55 am
 One of my earliest pieces on conflict. Not a great piece, but there's some good social parallels and examples from the book ' The Rugmaker. ' Though, bear in mind that this is the work of an ESL student, so the piece may not reflect the expectations of VCE English. Nevertheless, hope it help some of you guys in some way :) Cheers



                                          'During times of conflict, a person’s true character is revealed.’
  
   Conflict can be defined as situations where polar opposites exist due to individuals’ and even nations’ subjectivity relating to their needs, values and interests. It is however, during times of conflict that the true natures and characters are tested and revealed, often surprising both the individuals and those around them. During a conflict, individuals are often required to re-evaluate notions of right and wrong. As such, it is during such times that people are able to determine what it is they truly value, as well as exposing their fears, insecurities, and self-serving, greedy and corrupt natures. However, it is also during these periods of turmoil and heightened emotions, that the very best in people is exposed, their extraordinary courage, resilience, physical and psychological strength as well as that of their convictions and their self-sacrificing natures.

   From petty arguments to the outbreak of large scale confrontations, conflicts have existed since human began living in groups, and comes in various forms, such as racial, cultural, political, familial and even internal. Paradoxically, conflict and chaos can often result in positive changes for a society, directly or indirectly. Often the enormous pressure that conflict applies on governing bodies and institutions, may see them expose their fundamentally flawed and corrupt agendas. Exploitations and corruption often results when powerful figures and authorities possess superior power over others, and the clear misuse or abuse of that power may see the nation and its people suffer grave injustices in the present and as a result into the future. Notably, the fanatical Taliban strict fundamentalist interpretation of the Quran is viewed by other religious and even other Muslims as a manipulation to serve their political self-serving agendas. The brutal, oppressive means through which they impose their interpretation of religion reveals their need for absolute power and the inhumanity that allows deprivations and grave injustices to be committed on those they are supposed to serve. It is during the conflict that resulted in the Taliban gaining power and their subsequent rule that exposed their corruption and hypocrisy, as they justified oppression, torture and killing by interpreting the Quran in ways that denoted them as the only rightful rulers and everyone else as the enemies of Islam.

   Recently, the surge in refugee numbers has seen the Australian government imposing strict immigration laws and processing regulations, preventing many desperate and needy refugees from gaining citizenships and the sanctuary they risked their lives to achieve. The conflict of ideologies and policies election periods, the strength of conviction and humanity of our leaders is tested. The Rudd Government’s recognition that votes are gained through voter’s belief that the Party in power protects borders from illegal immigrants has seen it break a number of international and humanitarian laws and suspend processing of Sri Lankan and Afghani refugees. Not only are the characters of our leaders’ revealed, but also of ours that despite taking pride on ourselves for being a multicultural nation,  the reality is that many remain xenophobic and even racist.

   Conflict invariably results in the unmasking of some of the worst human facades which consequentially leads to intolerable deprivation, suffering and grave injustices for those innocent, as conflict by nature escalates destructively. During times of conflict, the prioritizing of personal gains and self-preservation by most individuals usually result in the abandoning of their principles and beliefs. In the midst of chaos and hysteria, it is often extremely difficult to put aside self interests and survival. Therefore, conflict often compels the re-evaluation of what one believes and truly values. As such it can expose those who are corrupt, ignorant and acting for personal gains, but also those whose convictions are steadfast and see them maintain a principled approach while negotiating their way through conflict irrespective of the personal consequences. Those who exploit conflict through rationalising unacceptable behaviours, or those who have masked their naturally violent and evil natures but resort to violence and cruelty when self intent is at stake are exposed. In Hillman and Mazari’s The Rugmaker, Najaf reflects on the cruelty imposed on him by the fundamentalist Taliban. Many of his neighbours gave up on the tortures and join the Taliban, whereas despite being tortured just as much, Najaf sought ways of surviving that did not compromise his principles and morality.

   Adolf Hitler’s ascent to power on 1919 brought about rapid improvements to Germany’s social, economical and military power, on a dramatic scale. Hailed and viewed as a hero en masse, Hitler’s charismatic demeanour saw him quickly approved and supported by the German people. However Hitler is unable to contain his nature for long, as his image as the perfect leader of Germany steadily deteriorates as the war reaches its climax. In his book Mein Kampf and through his speeches in the Nuremberg rallies, Hitler was unable to hide his violent and evil nature, as well as the mental instability that enabled him to justify the need for genocide. Though, conflict have also given rise to many heroes in the past, such as Oscar Schindler, who during world war two demonstrated true courage and compassion when he spent millions and risked his life to save the Jews who worked for him, eventually turning him from a successful and wealthy millionaire to that of a penniless man.

   While there are those who seek to benefit from conflict at the expense of others, which reveals the flaws of weaknesses of human nature, they are also those who reveal themselves as morally superior and principled individuals, whose extraordinary actions can be surprising not only to themselves, but also others. Seeming ordinary people reveal their integrity, courage, resilience and strength of conviction during the heat of conflict. At such, these extraordinary individuals display to us that in times of conflict, it is possible to place self-interests and the need for self-preservation aside, and adhere to one’s conscience and beliefs despite the dire consequences that may result. Najaf’s strength of conviction and perseverance, fuelled by his desire to provide for a better future for his wife and daughter, sees him successfully overcoming extraordinary length of tests and trials, shocking and surprising both himself and those around him. By maintaining his principles throughout his journey, Najaf is able to help and comfort his fellow inmates, instead of taking advantage of them. Najaf’s composed and peace loving attitude sees him endeavours to prevent further dissent between inmates in the Australian asylum centres, diametrically opposing those who attempt to exploit conflict for their own personal interests and gains.
 
   The enormous strain and pressure conflict places on individuals may see them rely on their core values and principles to sustain them, or see them completely abandoned, thus revealing not only their true natures, but also of their worst behaviours. Conflict serves to test, validate and even reward the rare few that persevere, or expose those that are willing to succumb to greed, power and corruption.


Title: Re: English Work Examples Directory
Post by: stonecold on December 28, 2010, 06:10:32 pm
Text response essay on Louis Nowra's play 'Cosi'
This piece received 29/30 in a SAC.

Topic:
“Working with these people has changed you.”
In what ways has Lewis changed?



Louis Nowra’s play “Cosi” depicts the story of Lewis Riley, a young naive student fresh out of university, directing a Mozart opera in a mental asylum.  Many of the challenges faced by Lewis are ultimately the cause for the profound changes which we see in his perception of the world.  Lewis’ journey allows him to develop confidence in himself, and gives him the opportunity to reflect upon his own morals.  Furthermore, he matures to value the importance of love and fidelity in relationships.   Whilst at times testing his strength and resolve, Lewis’ experience in the mental asylum can be seen as the catalyst for his transformation.


Lewis’ growth from an individual lacking in confidence to an influential mentor to many of the patients required a fundamental change in his attitude. When first given the role as director, Lewis’ unease regarding Nick’s decision to no longer “help [him]” exemplifies his overdependence on others and a lack of belief in himself. Lewis’ lack of confidence is also reflected in the lights that “start flickering” when he initially meets Roy and Doug and is confronted by their strong personalities. The lighting metaphorically represents Lewis’ initial discomfort and anxiety in this unfamiliar situation. After Doug sets fire to the theatre, nearly bringing rehearsals to a premature end, Lewis eventually comes to the realisation that in order for ‘Cosi fan tutte’ to succeed, he must be more assertive and adopt some leadership. In stark contrast to Nowra’s stage directions that reveal Lewis’ initial “[hesitation]” when interacting with the patients, Lewis develops the self-confidence to be able to assert authority over the cast. Later stage directions convey Lewis communication to the patients as “[firm]” and he begins to communicate with them in a more personal manner.  He engages himself in their concerns, evident when discussing Julie’s drug addiction with her.  Moreover, Lewis develops to the extent that he is able to instil his confidence in others, building Henry’s self-esteem so that he could actively participate in the play and also guiding Roy to overcome his “stage fright.”  Lewis’ belief in himself unlocked his one dimensional view on life, allowing him to fulfil his own personal ideals and ambitions.

There is an obvious shift in Lewis’ morals during the play, brought upon by his decision to embrace the patients in the asylum.  Lewis’ initial perception of the patients is not dissimilar to Nick’s view that they are “nuts” and “madmen”.  Furthermore, he recognises that the underlying motive to be at the asylum is his need for “the money”.  Through Lewis’ journey, however, he grows fond of the patients and becomes well aware of the harsh stereotypes placed on them by the outside world.  His interactions with the patients challenge and compel him to share Justin’s view that “they are just normal people who have done extraordinary things, thought extraordinary thoughts.” This is demonstrated when Lewis would rather injure himself than let Henry “walk out on us”. The inclusive language signifies Lewis’ changed perception of the patients.  The inclusion of himself as an equally important member of the cast accentuates that the initially present barriers between him and the patients have now been broken.  By conveying a strong connection between Lewis and the cast, Nowra invites the audience to consider the notion that all humans are created equal, and that labels imposed on people by society don’t restrict who they are as a person.  In telling Doug to “go burn a cat,” Lewis shows he is comfortable around the patients, and the joke can been seen as his way of bonding with them. The alteration of Lewis’ morals is further evident when he chooses to oppose the radical and egotistical nature embodied by Nick. This is symbolised when Lewis turns down the radio during Nick’s interview, indicative of the lessening influence Nick was having on him.  Eventually, it is clear that Nick no longer appeals to Lewis as a “mate”, and the vulgar, insensitive “funny farm” song Nick mocks the patients’ with is enough for Lewis to punch him, severing their relationship.  The stark contrast between the initial “black burnt out theatre” that is devoid of hope and the “white theatre walls” in the performance further reinforces the positive transition that Lewis has undergone.


As Lewis’ confidence and moral strength begins to shine through, he develops a deeper understanding of the significance of love and fidelity in relationships. Lewis initially spouts Nick and Lucy’s views on love, regarding it as “not so important nowadays”. However, Nowra’s use of stage directions reveals Lewis’ “uncertainty” concerning the faithfulness of his girlfriend, indicating that his perception of love may not parallel Lucy’s.  The devastation that Lewis endures after discovering his girlfriend’s unfaithfulness supports the notion that he does consider love as important.  The play within a play structure adopted by Nowra is crucial to Lewis being able to express his optimistic attitude towards love.  As his love for the play grows, so does his appreciation for the theme of love and fidelity which it embodies.  Lewis’ remark of Mozart’s opera being about “important things,” is instinctively coupled with “love and fidelity,” illustrating his views on the ideal.   It is Lewis’ experiences with Julie that allows him to express a true sense of appreciation for love, affirming that love extends beyond lustful behaviour. The mutual trust inherent in Julie and her girlfriend’s relationship allows Lewis to come to the realisation that loyalty is the foundation upon which meaningful relationships are built.  He realises that remaining true requires individuals to “stick together through thick and thin.”   Nowra invites readers to, like Lewis, reject the notion of free love as embodied by Lucy.   In addition, Nowra seeks to remind readers of the significance of love and fidelity coexisting, a notion truly encapsulated by the words “without love the world wouldn’t mean much.”


Lewis’ ability to escape the cynicism of the outside world and embrace the patients was a key facet in his transformation. As a result of “working with these people,” Lewis undoubtedly becomes a more humble, caring and sensitive person.  Lewis emancipation from the ideals of others allows him to make his own contribution to the world, whilst also bettering his moral values as a being.   Nowra aims to emphasise that not only is Lewis’ changed perception on humanity central to his personal fulfilment, but also something that is vital to our own human existence.
Title: Re: English Work Examples Directory
Post by: stonecold on December 28, 2010, 06:17:05 pm
Text response piece on Geraldine Brook's 'Year of Wonders'
This received full marks in a SAC.

Topic:
‘My dear friends, soon God will set us a new test,’ warns the priest.
How do the hardships of the plague bring out the best and the worst in the villagers of Eyam?


Geraldine Brook’s novel ‘Year of Wonders’ vividly recounts the story of the seventeenth century plague which cripples and transforms the English town of Eyam.  The Black Death which strikes the village not only reveals the stark contrast between the admirable and evil nature of the towns people, but it also redefines the villagers of Eyam.  The personal beliefs and social order which were once static, collapse in the face of God’s ‘test.’   When faced with adversity and desperation, certain individuals embrace the challenge and their heroism shines through, whilst others instead choose to turn their backs on the town, acting in selfish and crude ways.  Throughout the ‘Year of Wonders,’ Brooks explores the ways in which society responds to extreme hardship, and the ripple effect which peoples choices have on others within the community.


The plague seeds which settle upon the soil of Eyam bring about profound change within the village, creating ‘heroes’ who overcome the devastation and act with courage to support their neighbours and restore a sense of hope within society.  The town’s people’s acceptance of Mompellion’s request to ‘let the boundaries of [the] village become [their] whole world,’ captures the selfless and honourable nature of the community, which is in stark contrast to the Bradford’s who act only in self-interest and ‘abandon their duty.’  Mompellion’s work ethic and innate strength to push himself beyond exhaustion is the driving force behind the town.  He remains determined to uphold his promise that ‘no one will face their death alone.’  His role as rector within the town sets the precedent for others to take leadership and initiative.  Anna and Elinor wholeheartedly embrace the plague and devote themselves to healing the community.  They risk their lives in order to serve others, constantly facing dangers either in the mine or from the contagion itself.   . Unlike many other characters, Anna chooses life over vengeance, with the greatest symbolic affirmation coming in saving both Lady Bradford and her baby.  In her situation, mercy wins out, testament to her heroism.  Elinor believes that Anna is the ‘one good, perhaps, to come out of this terrible year.’  Her resolve allows her to overcome the loss of her sons Tom and Jamie, and she is able to tend for the community as a midwife, bringing the gift of life to a death ravaged community. Whilst Anna’s saint like personality is challenged as she deliberates whether or not she should consume poppy to escape reality and arrive at the ‘sweetest harmony,’ Brooks puts this forward to reveal the gravity of the situation and the bleak outlook forecast for Eyam.   Furthermore, despite Anna’s innate desire for companionship, giving rise to her deep seeded jealousy of Elinor and Michael’s relationship, she cannot be blamed for her natural yearning to experience love once again.  Through Anna, Brooks aims to remind readers that all individuals are flawed to an extent, however as the novel progresses, it is revealed that some are flawed to a much greater extent than others.  Brooks suggests that heroes are not required to be perfect.  Young Brand’s decision to initially abandon Maggie Cantwell is evidence of this.  It is his courageous choice to return and rescue her which transforms him into one of Mompellion’s heroes.  Although the gloom of the plague pervades the township, the selfless nature in which some choose to respond highlights the ideal that in times of adversity, one’s latent potential can rise to the surface.


The spread of the plague throughout Eyam consequently results in supreme displays of cowardice, driving some villagers to commit unspeakable acts to console their sense of suffering and uncertainty.  Fear was ‘working strange changes in all of [them].’ In the face of turmoil, members of the village begin to turn on their own.  The most heinous of injustices is the senseless murder of Anys Gowdie by a crazed lynch mob for alleged witchcraft.  The wicked nature of the slaying is accentuated by the fact that an honest, skilled women who had much to offer to the village was made a scapegoat.  Natural remedies and healing skills appear to be outside the orthodox and accepted ways of the town and are interpreted as forces of witchcraft or Satanism.  Anys Gowdie embodied the notion that faith and religion are not so simplistic and one dimensional, something which Anna later learns to appreciate. The evil of which Anys accuses the mobs wives of ‘lying with’ before her death is later reflected by many of the villagers.  The temptation to act in self-interest is too great for some, causing them to turn to superstition.  The Mowbray’s subject their infant child to torture, whilst others such as Aphra and Josiah Bont, seek to benefit from others sorrow.  Even in their punishment, the villagers subject them to penalties that ‘made monsters’ of them all.  This is again adopted by Brooks to demonstrate the extreme hardship and lack of normality within the village.  The initial graphic nature of George Viccar’s death sets the tone for descent of the town.  The ‘sweet smell of apples’ was gone and ‘replaced by a stench of week old fish.’  This can be interpreted as a sign for the decay of morale that is to follow.  The sheer animosity of the plague brought upon as many villains as it did heroes, however many of these cruel acts resulted from the jettison of all moral values in a time of pure anxiety.


Whilst the onset of the plague evoked wide array of admirable and chaotic responses from the villagers, the aftermath of the black death of Eyam reshaped the town in terms of its attitudes, social structure and religion.  The most prominent of changes are visible in Anna and rector Mompellion.  Anna’s steely resolve carries her through the period of gloom and lays the foundation for her emancipation from a life of disappointment.  She overcomes the stereotype of a seventeenth century woman, determined not to live in the shadow of a man.  Her strength shines through as she turns Mompellion away after discovery of his ‘most unnatural coldness.’  He ‘had been broken’ by the ordeal.  His faith in God had waned and he became of the view that the Lord was ‘untrue in one thing, untrue in everything’ and that his life was ‘based upon a lie.’  Religious order in Eyam which was once set in stone became severely frayed after the events of the Black Death.  Anna discovers that the plague was ‘simply a thing in nature’, rather than a ‘new test’ set by God or the evil work of the Devil.  Those who survived the disease are no longer subject to a stringent class hierarchy in Eyam. Whilst initially ‘men doffed their caps and women curtsied’ in the presence of the Bradford’s, upon returning, their formal garden has run wild, indicating their lack of control over natural forces.   Through this, Brooks aims to discourage the idealisation of material possessions as a means of fulfilment.  Anna’s lack of hesitation in calling Elizabeth Bradford a ‘murdering bitch’ again reiterates the collapse of social structure in Eyam.  Such a show of emotion indeed demonstrates that Anna ‘had been tempered and made strong.’  Her journey is complete when she is transformed from an illiterate housemaid to a scholar, a doctor and an independent woman.   These profound changes see her grow from dark to light, from death to life, from Anna Frith to Umm Jamie.  


Geraldine Brooks captures the sense of hope which people grasp on to when faced with adversity in ‘Year of Wonders.’  The desire to turn this hope into reality causes the villagers to respond in unconventional ways.  For some, inner strength is found and heroes emerge, leading the town through its time of darkness, whilst others stoop down to the lowest form of human behaviour in order to cope with their hardship.  This is a notion mimicked in society today.  Under the pressures of our lives, our thoughts can become corrupted and our actions callous.  By emphasising the change of society’s values as a result of the plague, Brooks was seeking to encourage readers to realise that while certain situations in life are beyond our personal control, we should attempt to not only accept but embrace these dilemmas, so that our human existence can benefit in light of adversity.
Title: Re: English Guides, Sample Pieces, Tips and Resources
Post by: stonecold on December 28, 2010, 06:42:27 pm
ESSAY TOPICS

Thanks to member 'transgression'
Original thread here

I thought it would be a good idea if we were to have a thread with accumulated essay topics for English texts and contexts.
In year 11, I was consistently frustrated as I had to dig out and find essay topics to do. So throughout 2008, I had gathered topics I had come across and they proved to be very useful towards exam period.

Feel free to PM me with your list of topics -please add if it is either context/text response and the title of the film/novel.
I will add them to the list.

Edit: Message an English/Global moderator if you would like to have your topics added to the list.

List:
Text Reponse;
* 1984
* Look Both Ways
* The Kite Runner
* A Man For all Seasons
* Maestro
* Richard III
* Don't start talking to me - Lyrics by Paul Kelly
* Of Love and Shadows
* Inheritance
* Selected poetry - Kenneth Slessor
* Cosi

Context;
* Encountering Conflict
* Exploring Issues of Identity and Belonging
* The Imaginative Landscape
* Whose Reality?
Title: Re: English Work Examples Directory
Post by: iffets12345 on January 06, 2011, 06:57:45 pm
Sifting through essays for students and I found this:

It got 10/10 but it has major typos so be warned.

Year of Wonders: Brooks has positioned the reader to empathise with the female characters and despise the male characters.

In Year of Wonders, the strength of female characters in the novel creates a stark disparity between them and the male characters, as Brooks encourages the reader’s appreciation of their triumphs against disapproval of the men’s weakness. It is the resolve of Anna Frith that the reader is expose to throughout the novel that lead them to empathise with her, as well as the endearing character descriptions of figures like Elinor and the independent Anys. However, with such narrative by Anna also comes a stark contrast of such amiable qualities against the failings of male characters. As even the respectable figurehead of Mompellion falters by the denouement of the novel, the reader is only left to admire the merits of the female characters who appear to have superseded their male counterparts.

In placing the novel from Anna’s perspective, brooks immediately induces an affinity between the reader and the personas of femininity throughout Year of Wonders. As the reader is taken on a personal journey by following Anna’s narrative, they are subject to the circumstances behind her flaws and also her triumphs, leading them to better sympathise with Anna as a female. Anna initially appears as a wayward and timid woman, unable to transcend the social restrictions placed upon her and only living her life as a “widow woman”, refusing education of “herb-lore” or the promise of love with Viccars. Yet the reader is not dissuaded by such descriptions, except sympathizing when Anna descends in “drugged serenity”, led to understand Anna’s spiritual breakdown arises from loss from her already meager life. That Anna transforms to recognize “pain far less deserved” exists and is able to transcend the crisis of the plague to become emancipated and educated incites the readers’ admiration at her strength. Anna’s change, as “the one good to come out of this terrible year” inspires the reader’s awe at her inherent determination and strengths. Furthermore, Anna’s deeply feminine work and consequent appreciation of it as “reason enough” in her life subliminally reinforces the reader’s empathy for women, as Anna is glorified by brooks there her work as a midwife, “living [her] life amongst wonders”, “from birth to birth”. Anna’s narrative hence directly connects the reader to a female character and allows them to achieve greater understanding of other women in the novel.

The reader is encouraged to distinguish sympathies between genders by the portrayal of Elinor and Michael Mompellion. As a couple, the two ostensibly symbolize a unity by Brooks, the deconstruction of which At Elinor’s death, invites comparison between the qualities of the two. Elinor, despite her ‘gravest of all sins”, is inspired by Mompellion’s support and develops a sincere determination to aid others, illustrating her ability to rise from her tragedy and cultivate her skills for altruistic means, gathering favour at her displays of morality. That Elinor’s personal tragedy was caused by a man, Charles, only furthers the reader’s sympathy for female characters while clearly making a disapproval of male values. Yet the kind endeavours of Elinor are not reciprocated by Mompellion, who is unable to transcend his grief at her death, illustrating the weakness in men. While Elinor’s faith  is increased after her pain, Mompellion’s spiritual decay leads the reader to distinguish between the female character’s resilience against the weak resolve of males like Mompellion- That Mompellion believes “all [he] has felt, has been based upon a lie” and abandons his faith compared to his previous reliance on “God’s will” compels the reader to view him as fickle and lacking the strength of Anna and Elinor, who continued to take arms against their own internal crises. As Mompellion fails to follow suit, the reader is left to attribute this to a deficiency in all men, while simultaneously laud the strength of female characters.

What begins as a simple sympathy for the female characters hence becomes fully fledged admiration for their ability  to stand independently. Such idealism is introduced by brooks through the non-conformist Anys, who had  “a kind of courage to care so little for what people whisper”, appears to rise above the villagers with her unconventional beliefs and ability to exist as her own entity. While “long habit still constrained the choices” of many, Anys surpasses this by her individual choices and indifferent attitude, a source of admiration to the modern reader who understands Anys need to rise above any male-enforced convention. That Anys remains unafraid at the mob frenzy and definitely makes use of their “ugly thoughts and evil doubts” demonstrates her strength as an independent woman, leading readers to approve of her as she emerges from the ordinary villagers’ craze and distinguishes herself as an intellectual superior. Even at Anys’ death, Anna’s continuation of such values reinforces the strength of women to our reader. As Anna decides she “is not Elinor after all, but Anna”, she exercises her free will in being able to control her identity and destiny. In refusing Michael Mompellion as she “turned away from him” and “slid away from under his hand”, Anna also demonstrates her surpassing of others, gaining reader admiration for her ability to transcend the stifling nature of a woman’s existence. Hence, Brooks not only encourages empathy, but also awe in her reader for the plights of her female characters.

As such disparity emerges between the triumphs of the women and the ordinary if not base accomplishments of the men, the reader cannot help but feel disdain for the male characters’ weaknesses. While characters like Anna and Elinor arise from their disadvantaged circumstances, the flailing nature of their men in their stable positions only invites the reader’s disgust. The constant derogatory, portrayal of men in Year of Wonders is pervasive form the beginning till end. Figures such as Josiah Bont embody the depravity in men, as he finds “profit in grave digging” incurring the outrage of the villagers and hence the reader too. A figure of absolute masculinity in his use of physical strength and the men’s tavern meeting spot, it is the abuse of Anna by Bont that paints him as a despicable character, while his masculine attributes become a marker to the reader that other males are similar. Though women appear desperate also in their attempt to curb the Plague, Gordon’s flallegancy contrasted against his wife’s unease leads the reader to blame Gordon  as a misguided extremist, further colouring their view of men. When Mompellion, the figurehead of mankind’s virtue, also fails to withstand external pressure and succumbs to a depraved nature, any glorified images of men are destroyed by Brooks as the reader is left only to see the desolation of the men’s existence and feel abhorrence of such.

The female characters certainly demonstrate more admirable qualities than the men in the novel, yet it is their ability to maintain their humanity, juxtaposed against the men’s failure to do so that marks them as superior to the reader. As the Plague becomes a means by which each individual is tested, brooks presents the growing trend of females withstanding such pressure in an attempt to garner the reader’s empathy and admiration for them. It is because the males, like Mompellion and Bont fail to equal women, like Anna in their efforts that the reader loses respect for their credibility. The dichotomy of glorified female resilience and deterioration of will in the males lends itself to a reader interpretation where women become infinitely superior to the trifles of men in Year of Wonders.
Title: Re: English Work Examples Directory
Post by: CharlieW on January 30, 2011, 01:18:05 am
Clumsy in bits, said my english teacher, but my sac marker apparently shed a tear when she read it lol...


“Successful relationships are the key to developing a stable identity and purposeful sense of belonging”.
As the battered pink football sailed over the towering goal posts, columns of blue and white scarves and beanies rose together forming a giant blue-white bespeckled tidal wave. The accompanying smattering of applause and the roars of delight bounced off the stadium walls making close conversation impossible. Amidst the raucous fanfare, my father sat motionless in his seat, slightly hunched over. He looked at me for a second and strained a smile, but turned away swiftly avoiding any eye contact. I continued gazing at him for a while, observing the crinkles in his wrinkled pale complexion and his greying hair. For a moment I thought he was going to turn around again and look at me, but his eyes just followed the movement of the pink ball in the centre square.

Much of the journey to the football match was filled with the same tense silence syncopated by the metronomic gliding of the front and back windscreen wipers. My father’s eyes were fixed on the red and green lights above the masses of cars and his hands gripped the steering wheel with such firmness, that little patches of white could be seen in his fingernails. Meanwhile I sat slouched in the backseat directly behind him, pressing my head against the dewy car windows. My attention was mostly occupied by the stream of rain droplets meandering down the window pane as I tried to avoid looking at his face through the rear view mirror.

As we entered the city, the car sped past many shops and restaurants; their signs blazing with fluorescent colours. For the most part, the creativity of the signs impressed me, but whenever signs contained the words “family hour” or “family restaurant” I’d turn my face away from the window. It wasn’t so much the word that bothered me, but more the associated meanings. Family for me invoked the memories of my childhood, when my father used to hoist me high up on his shoulders, the breeze beating against my Sharks beanie and my scarf fluttering like stadium flags. I’d think of memories of my father throwing me up into the air and catching me like a football in his giant calloused palms, whenever his favourite player had marked the ball. The car itself was a reminder of my days when I supported my father’s beloved Sharks. In the corner of every window pane, there was a weather-beaten Sharks football sticker. Dangling off the rear view window was a blue and white Shark figurine, which my father sometimes playfully caressed. Staring out the window was the only thing I could do without catching a glimpse of a blue and white shark.

“Not long to go. Just a few more blocks.”

“Ok.”

This was quite a typical conversation. My father and I had distanced ourselves ever since I had stopped following the Sharks. I don’t think he ever meant to be intentionally cold to me and I never meant to be so distant with him. Believe me; I still yearned for the same affectionate bear hugs he used to give me when I was younger. I’d often try to talk to him about football at the dinner table, but his replies were short and forced. I could see in the shimmer of his eyes both the grief and the disappointment of my defection.

“Are you looking forward to the game, dad? My team versus your team, should be good?”

“Yeah should be.”

“I hope it’s a close match, so we can both enjoy the game.”

“Yeah I hope so too.”

I could feel his eyes locking onto my face via the rear view mirror, and I turned my attention back to the rain droplets trickling down the window pane.

“Son….I’ve never really asked you this question. Why did you stop barracking for the Sharks?”

“I don’t know”

“Remember when you were a child, you used to sit on my shoulders and cheer for the Sharks?”

“I guess it’s just a bit different now. I’m older and stuff.”

“Our whole family are sharks supporters. Me, your mum, your grandfather, all your uncles. You used to love them as well, I don’t know what happened. Did I do something wrong?”

“I don’t know. I guess it was the whole family thing. I mean when I was younger I liked the sharks because you and mum went for them and stuff. But later on, I didn’t really like them much anymore. But you guys, I guess really forced me into supporting the Sharks, I never felt really that comfortable.”

“I’m sorry to hear that then.”

“Sorry. I don’t hate the Sharks or anything, but their not my favourite team. I just really like another team and all my friends support them.”

“I just don’t understand how you can support your friends’ team over your family’s team.”

“I’m sorry, I just don’t know. It doesn’t feel right to me, cheering for the sharks, when I sometimes end up barracking for the other team. It’s not some teenage rebellion thing, I think I just need to find out the things I like I guess. I hope you’re not too cut about it, I’m really sorry about it”.

For the remaining few minutes of the journey, my father remained silent and I played with the yellow and black Tiger’s scarf I was wearing. I opened my mouth a few times, to say something, but no words were uttered. I wanted to tell him how much I regretted defecting from his team, but I knew any further comment on the matter would only spark grief. We entered the stadium together, but not in the sense of together. I straggled along a few metres behind him; both of us staring at the ground like soulless men desperately in search of something missing. The buzzing chattering and the roars from the mass of supporters would spare my father and me from our distant silence.
A loud thunderous cheer erupted from the supporters around me as the pink football split the middle of the two goal posts; the siren boomed across the stadium just a few seconds later. A legion of blue and white draped supporters rose out of their seats to see the Sharks players beamed at their adoring fans. This time a more relaxed smile spread across dad’s face and he turned to me look at me. His eyes carried an eerie shimmer; a shimmer which did not reflect hurt and betrayal but something more warm and familiar. He put his arms around my black and yellow Tiger’s jersey and hugged me, while the noisy blue and white mass danced around us like lunatics.

Title: Re: English Work Examples Directory
Post by: LOVEPHYSICS on January 31, 2011, 12:24:08 am
My very first text essay. Although I didn't like it very much, I still got a decent mark on it. It is written to the requirements of ESL, but hopefully some of you guys can find it useful in some way.                   


                      “The struggle of an ordinary man with his conscience.” Is that how you read ‘On the Waterfront’?
 
   From the nervous chewing of gum to the confused shuffles, Elia Kazan’s ‘On the Waterfront’ captures the internal struggle of a disillusioned and conflicted young protagonist, Terry, whose entire life spent on the miserable and brutish outskirts of the waterfront left him mentally and physically scarred. Raised by the ‘hawks’ of Hoboken in New Jersey, Terry’s lack of proper education and nurturing sees him struggle in his attempts to contemplate and reflect on ‘that thing about conscience,’ as he slowly begins to question and re-evaluate his identity and discern a clear difference between right and wrong as the film progresses. The glorification of Terry’s decision to finally testify against the mob in order to get ‘his rights’ back and be at peace with his conscience ultimately sees Kazan rewards his anti-hero with a climatic moral victory.

     It is through Terry’s pragmatic philosophies on life, with its emphasis on self-preservation that viewers witness the reality of life in the terrible and oppressive conditions of the waterfront, and the corruption that arises, as well as the fear that prevents the authorities from addressing the problems. Terry grew up with an understanding of the importance of ‘standing with the right people,’ thereby depicting him as a man sorely driven by the need for survival, and if possible, gaining a ‘couple of extra potatoes’ here and there.  Increasingly disturbed, Terry’s moral awakening was initiated through the death of a morally superior young dockworker, Joey Doyle, whose plan to ‘sing to the crime commission,’ came to an abrupt end when Friendly had him murdered. Even though Terry hides the truth in the earlier stages of the film, his defensiveness suggests a guilty conscience and thus not necessarily a pathetic bum he is known as. Terry’s struggles to continue rationalising the mob’s actions and his own passivity distance himself from the Union’s brutal cynical and self serving methods. Through Brando’s mannerisms, ranging from the simple shuffles to baffled shrugs and tortured expressions, Terry is not only revealed to be an inarticulate and perplexed young soul, but also a morally ‘confused kid’ who has lost his way and struggles to find it again.

    As uneducated as he may be, Terry understands all too well the potential repercussions of testifying against Johnny and his mob, as the premature deaths of Joey and Dugan are notable examples of those who act on their conscience to ‘testify against what is right against what is wrong.’ Terry understands the importance of keeping those in power happy, but he also understands that by accepting lucrative positions on the waterfront in for continuing to be loyal to the mob, make him a part of the corruption that has led to the immoral killings of Joey and Dugan. Ill-equipped with the emotional consequences of his indirect role in the murders, Terry is unable to conquer his overwhelming guilt and is clearly frustrated, “Conscience... that stuff can drive you nuts (!). “ Struck with further inner turmoil after witnessing Dugan’s untimely murder at the cargo hold, Terry is visibly shaken. In a pivotal scene which resembles an inversion of the natural order, the exploited, innocent longshoremen are shown working tirelessly below in the hellish conditions of the cargo- hold, while the corrupt and evil Union mob tower above with their extravagant ‘suits and diamond rings’ like all powerful Gods. Father Barry, the moral voice of the film, attempts to empower the men by appealing to their moral conscience, declaring the death to be a ‘crucifixion’ and that to escape the hell they are trapped they must act on their conscience. By punching Friendly’s goon, Tullio, Terry is metaphorically defending what is right, and publicly accusing and condemning Friendly. The action appears almost involuntary, evidence of his frustration and the need to address conscience irrespective of knowing the consequences.

      As the film’s shining, yet fragile beauty, Edie’s innocence, commitment to fending her brothers’ killer and growing affection for Terry sees him re-evaluate his life and act upon his conscience and emerge the hero of the film. The film’s stark black and white moral framework, juxtaposes the world in which the two lovers come from, as Edie is clearly portrayed as an outsider to the harsh realities of the waterfront community, a position in which her father keeps reminding her of. Blonde and beautiful, Terry is fascinated by her beauty, but also the moral absolutism that leads him to declare, ‘she is the best thing that ever happened to me.’ The growing struggle with his conscience is the result of lingering guilt and the love for Edie and this in turn makes more receptive to her lectures on ‘conscience’ and moral responsibility, whereas at the outset he dismissed her humane view of the world as idealistic and naïve. As Terry’s feelings for Edie gradually develops, so does his conscience and the need to reveal the truth to her. Finally convinced by Father Barry, the weight of the guilt he carried is evidenced by the way Terry blurts it out and pleads for her forgiveness, as the deafening whistle of the steamship drowns their conversation; symbolic of Edie’s horror and attempt to block the horrifying reality by hiding her face behind her white woollen gloves, which is also symbolic of the need to distance herself from such an unconscionable truth.   

     Despite Terry’s confessions and admittances of guilt, he realises that it is only through acting to address the injustices that redemption is possible, even if it means sacrificing his safety. The death of Joey and Dugan, amplified by his love for Edie, spurred Terry onto a remarkable transformation, however, he remains uneasy about ‘squealing’ to the crime commission. Struggling to remain ‘deaf and dumb,’ Terry retreats to the rooftops, a place where he reveals he can escape the pressures below and his gentler nature by caring for the pigeons. However, it is ultimately the realisation that his brother’s conscience killed him and the mob is loyal to no one after they kill his brother that acts as the catalyst for Terry to testify against Friendly. Restless for revenge after Charley’s ‘crucifixion,’ Terry’s desire to ‘take it out of their skulls,’ sees him revert to his old and brutal ways but comes to recognise that Father Barry is right and that he should fight Johnny ‘in the courtroom tomorrow with the truth.’ When father Barry punches Terry, this serves as a moral challenge, a challenge for him to follow his conscience instead of seeking revenge which continues to align him with the mob and evil.   
 
   From an empty person who once lacks any sense of purpose or hope, Terry’s journey from a confused and lonely young man to one who stood up and act to free those victimised by the ruthless mob, was indeed an extraordinary growth. Ironically, it wasn’t his powerful and burley ‘ex-boxer’ physique that brought Terry his desired victory in the end, as it was his spiritual and moral identity, in which he had struggled to achieve at the outset. Stumbling across the pier bloodied and bruised, Terry’s stubborn decision to walk unaided sees him ‘lose the battle’ but ‘win the war’, as he inspires the longshoremen to follow a path of principled path which through its empowerment could lead to a more promising future.

Title: Re: English Work Examples Directory
Post by: iffets12345 on February 08, 2011, 10:29:08 pm
Only one landscape essay on here so I thought I ought to lug one up:


“We experience our environments through our imaginations and emotion, so the same place can be experienced differently according to how we think and feel.”

Often the degree to which we embrace a landscape will depend on our emotions at the time Just as our feelings affect our interactions with humans and daily functioning, so do they interfere by how we enjoy ourselves in one place. The physical landscape itself is a static environment which changes in the eye of the beholder, and as the Imaginative landscape itself is subjective to each humans’ unique thinking process, so does its interpretation of the physical landscape vary among us. It is the human thinking tendency to think beyond the surface presentation of things that leads our imaginations to view the world from different perspectives This itself is derived from various influences such as individual experience, tradition and culture. Hence, we are able to view the landscape independently to one another based on the complex variables that define human experience itself.

As personal development affects our character and values it also results in a different appreciation of what lies before us. When we grow, we expose ourselves to different aspects of life that our youth would have us ignorant of. We are also forced to battle constant pressure and demands that are naturally imposed as we become adults and the new leaders of our generation. As a result of all this internal change, our mentality also responds and alters its imaginations of the world, leading us to view the same situation differently. A child, with limited reasoning abilities could not appreciate the atrocities of war or the significance of Anzac Day. In contrast, an adult who has seen the value of life and freedom would almost certainly empathise better with this landscape of sorrow and sacrifice. This differing view is only possible by the advancement in thinking of the adult who is capable of understanding more aspects of an environment rather than a child who is distracted easily. Similarly in Frost’s poem “Apple Picking”, the personal growth of the narrator has affected his view of the purpose in life. Once desirous of “the great harvest” and eager for the metaphoric “apples” of life experience and opportunity, his almost disdainful sense of fulfillment changes his view of the apple trees. Instead, he finds he is “tired of apple-picking” which alludes to a lack of desire to pursue his life goals and consequently, a dismissal of a landscape he was once eager to conquer. The impending mentality of retirement that pushes the narrator is what causes him to disregard the apple- orchard. It is this growth from youthful hunger to quiet contemplation that alters his emotions towards a landscape that he feels is representative of his life journey. Hence, as we age and find new perspectives on life, so do we experience landscapes differently from this altered attitude.

The way we experience once place depends on values we harbours at the time. Principles we adhere to are often what mould the way we see a landscape, as w try to identify where the landscape reciprocates such values or defies them. Even if we deem a landscape as neutral, one may endeavours to embed their beliefs into it and thus affect how we think of the landscape as something dominant or passive. If the environment seems to espouse our values we may feel at harmony and happier in this environment while a landscape that rejects our values is identified as negative and unpleasant. Common civilians may feel awkward and afraid in visiting prisons as a common phenomenon in that they know their values may conflict with those of the inmates. Surrounded in an environment where normal society’s dictates are not present, everyday people feel an aversion to prisons as they see the inmates as a desecration of their values and feel an inability to empathise with them. Meanwhile, volunteers may feel differently as they attempt to impose their values on the inmates. By volunteering to approach them and counsel them, the volunteers enter the landscape with a differing attitude and purpose and thus feel less animosity. For an inmate themselves, the prison is a constant environment and they feel none of the extremities of the other parties as their priorities are elsewhere in the landscape. In “Mending Wall” by Frost, we see the archaic values of the neighbour superimposed in the landscape, and he only feels at peace during the erection of the wall which represents his family tradition and constancy. Meanwhile, the narrator, who is contemplate his possible values that may oppose the symbol of the wall, evidently feels unease at the fortification of a structure he feels is unnecessary. The juxtaposition of these two attitudes towards the wall merely illustrates how different values change the way we experience occurrences in a landscape.

Sometimes it is not how we experienced out landscape but what we experience in it that leads to different interpretations of its meaning. Different events occur to different people at the same time in similar surroundings, which cause them to feel emotions unique to what is happening at that moment. If one travels overseas and gets mugged as opposed to another tourist who finds unbelievable hospitality, then their opinion of that country is influenced by how satisfied they were during their stay. Car accident trauma can lead to a phobia of driving, as the victim imagines the vehicle as the source of pain and destruction. However, for those of us unmarred by such experience the car is simply an inanimate harmless form of transport. It is what has occurred during our positioning in the car that changes our instinctive perspective of what driving leads to that alters how people react and experience sitting in the car. This is exemplified by the poem “Out-Out” where the boy’s “eager to please” attitude and excitement of “doing a man’s work” leaves him exhilarated and happy in “the sunset far into Vermont.” Yet when he saw “life…spilling” from his cut hand he becomes hysterical at the consequences of participating in the man’s timber industry. The boy’s realization that the saw effectively turned on him and caused him suffering leads him to recognize “all was spoiled” as well as an appreciation for his occupation and landscape. As his happiness dissipates, so does his sense of ease in the landscape as he ceases to exist from a natural occurrence typical of the logging environment. The experience of pain and death changes the boy from proud to fearful of his landscape, while the others who are mere bystanders “all turned to their affairs”, and have not felt this horror thus seeing the landscape differently albeit passively.

The human condition is known to be complex in its thought process and its ability to interpret its surroundings is no less intricate. Memories, desires, fears all play an integral part in how we feel and respond to our landscape. Landscape is a realm that is subject to our imaginations in order to find intrinsic structure and therefore some stability in our life. As everyone’s ideal of happiness and comfort varies, so does our belief in what the landscape offers. No two minds think alike and as such no landscape can be viewed as monotone by everyone. It can be argued that the unique admiration of human experience in each of us, and our general inherent individualism that is the foundation of humanity itself is what leads us to see the landscape independently of one another. Hence, different people view landscape to varied degrees, as it is the medium through which our own human condition is imposed.
Title: Re: English Work Examples Directory
Post by: paulsterio on August 20, 2011, 03:14:19 pm
Encountering Conflict - The Crucible
‘Those who cannot learn from history are doomed to repeat it. The violent encounters of the past contain valuable lessons about resolving conflict.’

It is often said that those who cannot learn from the past, obviously will react in the same way again when presented with a similar situation in the future. Of course there is more to this saying than the literal meaning. It carries with it the message that violent encounters, or any encounter for that matter, actually carry valuable lessons and that people should analyse their mistakes and look for ways in which they can resolve the conflict so that next time the conflict comes around, they’re all set and ready to go.

Reviewing history is one of the most interesting yet arduous tasks there are, yet there are people, historians, sociologists and anthropologists who spend copious amounts of time digging up information and investigating events of the past. Many students study the World Wars and the Cold War at a Secondary School level. Certainly then, there is some benefit in studying about our past. That benefit comes from the fact that we, as humans, have made many mistakes in the past. In fact, we probably are what we are today, in part, due to the mistakes we have made. However, it is the biggest mistakes that time and time again we continue to falter with. Mankind, to this date, still falters over war, over peace and over land. These two main concepts, battle and ownership have riddled conflict all throughout history, yet not much has been done about it, have we not learnt anything from the lessons of those gone past?

Even though many of us don’t learn from conflicts of those gone past and hence continue to embroil ourselves in conflict, a playwright in the 1950s, Arthur Miller, was a person who could recognise the gains in reviewing history. Miller lived in an era known as the McCarthy era, an era where man reported man, where rumours were the evidence in trials. During the McCarthy era, many fine artists were blacklisted for “brainwashing” the American public with communist sympathising works. Blacklisted people were not allowed to work in the industry and hence were forced to remain jobless. Arthur Miller was once called to testify before HUAC, HUAC (The House of Un-American Activities Committee) was a government body set up to reduce communist sympathies in the United States by the means of extracting confessions and punishment. Led by Senator Joseph McCarthy, HUAC accused multiple innocent people of sympathising with communist or attending communist meetings. Miller, during his trial, refused to testify any names of others he knew who may be communists, and as a result, he was charged and was given a one year suspended sentence for contempt of court, which was later overturned by an appeal. In response to his experiences, Miller wrote “The Crucible” – an allegorical play crafted to implicitly compare the McCarthy era to that of the Salem witch trials, an event with many similarities, almost 300 years earlier.

Through comparison with “The Crucible”, Miller’s message was that the American people have not learnt from the lessons in Salem and were once again pursuing “witch hunts” that incriminate innocent people and seek out no truth but rather, just lies. In “The Crucible”, the crux of the conflict lies in that the court has unreliable witnesses, people testifying lies in order to avoid hangings and a biased judge who wishes to further his own reputation and theocracy rather than the good of the people. This reflects the images that were being painted during the McCarthy era. John Proctor, the fictional character who resembled Miller himself, represented the good and honest man who died as a result of the stupidities of conflict. Proctor represented a man who was morally courageous, a man who suffered as a result of an unjust world. This would have reflected what Miller was feeling at the time of his incrimination. There are many more parallels with “The Crucible” and McCarthyism. Deputy Governor Danforth, the head of the court, is very comparable to Senator McCarthy. Both men want to further their political desires with little regard for others in society. Danforth stood for a strict Puritan theocracy, McCarthy stood for blind capitalism. Both men stood dogmatically for their own political ideals and did not allow questions to be asked of their politics. As Danforth said, a man is “either with this court or against it, there be no road in between”. This reflects the attitude both men took to dealing with conflict.

Further parallels can be made between “The Crucible” and McCarthyism through Abigail and the other false witnesses. What Miller tries to represent through these characters is that in times of conflict, witnesses can’t be relied upon. This is because a large number of people out there are willing to stand up and falsely incriminate others on the basis of saving themselves. Thus, witnesses can’t always be reliable. This is important during the McCarthy era as well because often past communists would falsely accuse others in the hope of escape. Another comparable case is the McMartin Pre-School Abuse Trial, one of the most famous trials in modern day United States, which ended up costing California over five million dollars. The case was based around a number of children giving false testimonies to court over their pre-school teacher molesting and abusing them. Much medical and psychological testing were undertaken as well as searches of the school premises to show no evidence for the children’s claims, yet everyone believed that children couldn’t lie. The case went through long and arduous processes of re-judgement before the accused was found not guilty of fifty-two charges of sexual abuse.

This shows that it is not twice, but many more times that people still have not learnt the lessons of conflict gone past. Incrimination of others based on false or weak evidence is still sometimes supported in a court of law even to today. This is why it is of paramount importance that we learn from the lessons of our past. It is not only through the courts that we see how we have refused to learn. Ever since the Roman Empire, man has developed a greed for land, so much so that the Romans ended up conquering much of what is now known as Europe. However, almost two thousand years later, the British ended up making the same mistake as the Romans, they expanded an empire too large to control with a central power and they ended up losing much of the colonies they built up. In our history, many other sensitive and grotesque events have occurred as a result of our indifference to our past. Recent examples include the genocide in Rwanda, in 1994, which killed 800,000 people in a matter of months.

The reason why people probably ignore conflicts is that because they think it will go away. They think that by not noticing it, they can push it under the carpet and it can be forgotten about, however that is not what history has taught us. History has taught us that we need to look at and analyse the events of the past in order to see where we went wrong, in order to see for what reasons we have generated conflict, and from those reasons, we can get an indication of why we are still making the same mistakes. It is through that reason that we can improve and not make the same mistakes in future. By not looking at our past conflicts, we are condemning ourselves to further and more serious conflicts in the future.

Authorial Statement of Intention
This piece is an Expository piece – a simple essay that deals with the prompt directly, finding examples to discuss the prompt, presenting a balanced view on what we should do in the future in order to avoid conflict whilst at the same time addressing how we are doomed to repeat history. The expository essay mandates a formal and sensitive tone, which is what I have tried to achieve here, a tone that is formal yet readable, wording that is concise, yet flowing. I tried to make the piece enjoyable to read, so that it sounds more like a feature article or sorts rather than a pure analysis of the issue.

The language used here is quite formal; the words chosen reflect the form. Rather than trying to make this a pure analysis, I made it a discussion which prompts that the article is easier to read and somewhat enjoyable to read, reflecting a feature article in a newspaper. Throughout the piece, I did not include any of my own evidence, which I believe is appropriate for an Expository piece. The sentence structure and wording is concise and clear, yet quite complex and ordained at points, resulting in wording that I believe is suitable.
The audience for this piece would be readers of a broadsheet newspaper. This could be similar to a feature article which is found commonly on broadsheets – this signifies an audience of adults and students, especially those interested in social affairs and are looking towards social change.

The purpose of this piece is to expose, it is an expository. It is to inform the reader about the prompt, about how we have to learn from history and it is to guide the reader’s thoughts into a direction which I believe is my view on the prompt. Rather than writing a persuasive piece, I decided to write an expository because I believe there is much information I’d like to present regarding the topic. Hence, the purpose is not to persuade, but more to inform, compare and contrast.

The context of this piece is revolved around social issues, it incorporates The Crucible as a tool to discuss Arthur Miller in more detail and his relation and views regarding McCarthyism. From there, The Crucible itself is used in its entirety to talk about the prompt. Social issues, history and current affairs are mentioned throughout the piece to demonstrate evidence on the prompt.

Overall, my opinion is positive on my piece as I believe I have managed to craft a wieldy expository piece and managed to include evidence related very much to the prompt.
Title: Re: English Work Examples Directory
Post by: tasek on November 02, 2011, 04:39:24 pm
10/10 on a practice essay graded externally.
A surprising mark considering I rushed it and believed it was unfinished. Guess the assesor begged to differ.

How does Brooks use the landscape and environment to explore the human experience?

Geraldine Brooks, author of ‘Year of Wonders’ creates a vivid and realistic setting that mirrors the development of her novel to reveal further exploration of the human experience in times of great conflict. The plague, an act of nature, and the death that inevitably follows opens the minds of the characters to question the existence of God and the value of religious faith. From this Brooks uses elements of nature to symbolically represent how death and grief is dealt with in the novel. The realistic setting that the reader is able to be lost in due to Brook’s vivid descriptions, furthers the exploration of the isolation that occurred in small, rural farming towns during the 17th century Restoration. The landscape and environment that Brooks sets her novel in become important factors in revealing to the perceptive reader the way in which Brooks explores the nature of humans.

The modern inclination to question the existence of a higher being, God, that controls the lives of those who believe is explored primarily through the reaction of Anna to the course of the plague but is reflected in the various elements of the setting that provoke thought and contemplation in Anna and thus the reader. Through the main narration of Anna’s thoughts, the reader also begins to challenge the supposed acts of God and ‘wonder why God’s words were always so harsh.’ While this perception of faith is explored in this way, it is reinforced through various aspects of the setting. The control nature begins to have over the physical structure of the town is mirrored in the same way that the ravages of the plague begin to shift the very hierarchy and belief structure of the townspeople. Anna trips over a rock, a seemingly insignificant description of action within the novel, however, Brooks uses this interruption by nature of the main plot to provoke Anna’s contemplation of whether ‘God placed it there by His divine will” or nature simply controlled where that rock would lay. In the grand scheme of things, Anna wonders why God would care to dictate the placement of something as insignificant as a rock. Thus leading the reader to a deeper contemplation of the truth of a God so powerful and all-encompassing that no rock, no person was too insignificant for Him to control. Anna also describes her notice of ‘nature reclaiming the road’ as it is no longer well-travelled. Nature, once thought to be controlled by humans, taking control of the town’s structure reflects the way in which women of the town, once ‘shackled to their menfolk’ begin to rise in hierarchy and become the more powerful gender of the novel –a complete role reversal in regards to the context of 17th century Europe. As nature takes control of the town, Anna takes control of her own destiny, becoming a woman ‘who had faced more terrors than many warriors’ able to break free of the ‘shackle(s)’ of hierarchy and religion and choose her own faith. The ultimate break with setting as Anna moves to Oran is also metaphorically symbolic of Anna’s break with the old conventions of life and religion. Thus Brooks uses setting to provoke a deeper contemplation of her exploration through Anna’s growth by reflecting the actions of the characters in their environment.

The vivid and realistic descriptions of landscape also trap the reader in the isolated world of 17th century Eyam just as the townspeople trapped themselves in their own ‘wide green prison.’ The world of Eyam becomes so realistic to the reader that the sense of isolation and entrapment manufactured by the self-imposed quarantine, which was also previously present, is heightened and thus reinforced to the reader. That Brooks describes the prison of the quarantine that the villagers ‘elect’ to be trapped in as ‘wide’ and ‘green’ presents a paradox of environment in the readers mind. ‘Wide’ and ‘green’ suggests open rolling plains of beauty and endless freedom yet these words are used to describe a ‘prison’, something that suggests dark, grey, closed spaces with little room to move and no freedom. This image of an open, beautiful environment in which one is trapped reveals to the reader the inner conflict Brooks characters experience as they are trapped by their own decision and thus cannot enjoy the beauty of their ‘wide green’ setting. Even before the quarantine, the setting of Eyam, nestled in a mountainside, revealed to the reader the isolation of the town from the rest of the world. Anna often mentioned the ‘large matters’ that ‘lapped at the foot of their mountain and never caught any of [the villagers] in their flow.’ The grand event of the Restoration and the massive change in religion barely had any effect on the people of Eyam and thus the isolated setting of the mountainside provides a feeling of entrapment and elected imprisonment even before the quarantine. Brooks uses the setting and landscape of Eyam to trap no only her characters but also her readers, thus heightening the effects of her exploration of isolation.

Setting and environment became key elements in Brooks’ ability to manipulate the thoughts and reactions of readers. As an author she reflects her characters views and contemplations in their setting to further enhance her exploration of the human experience and the reader’s understanding of the views of humanity.
Title: Re: English Work Examples Directory
Post by: Furbob on November 04, 2011, 08:30:52 am
Context - Growing Up Asian In Australia - (btw this is a true story brah.)

‘A community’s true values are revealed through its treatment of those who don’t belong’


It was during the start of April when I left Australia where the autumn leaves had started to fall from the trees and the cherry blossoms in Hiroshima started to bloom, bursting into life. I was staying with my host family, the Kusakawa’s though the word ‘family’ had been a foreign concept to me since my parents had separated when I was young and my brother ran away from home to live with my dad. There were those nights where I would dream of the days where my family was still together walking through the local park while pushing me in my pram and having the odd combination of a barbeque with fried rice on a Sunday afternoon. I would look back on my old family photos with their slight tinge of sepia, which looked as if they were dipped in liquid gold – they were those ‘golden’ days, those happy days - those ‘family’ days that were forever sealed behind a glass frame upon my bedside desk. The things that I carried in my luggage were my clothes, camera, whiteboard and a photo of my current family – which was just a photo of my mum and I, it was all I had left.

When I first met my host sister, Maiko, at her school I instantly noticed how I was ‘Godzilla’ in terms of height comparison to the rest of her class. Despite my towering height (which is quite average here in Australia), I was rather nervous about how I would cope with speaking in Japanese considering that I could barely string basic sentences together and write a few characters here and there. I still wonder what Maiko had thought of me during the first time we greeted each other when she bowed while I was raising my arm to shake her hand, making it look as if I tried to smack her in the head, but instead we laughed it off and acted as though it never happened. Maiko took me to her mother who I had to address as “okasan” (mum) and her little sister, Megumi, while they were waiting for a taxi to take us to the local park where we would meet up with their father, Kazuya, who was hosting a barbeque with his colleagues. While Kazuya was tossing around oyster mushrooms, seafood and various strips of meat on the barbeque, he asked me what I thought of Hiroshima and all I could say was ‘it is very nice’ although what I really wanted to say was that it was a new world where the cherry blossom trees looked like large sticks of cotton candy, salary men in their suits were chasing a paper-balloon (called a kusadama) in the park and Kazuya’s workmates were constantly offering me free beer since they assumed that all “Aussies” loved their beer (though I had to explain to them that I was not over twenty years old, the legal drinking age in Japan). It was amazing to see how everyone in the park had treated me like some kind of celebrity by waving at me and saying “harro!” and even Maiko was surprised to see how one foreigner could be so noticed in a community area, it was certainly a welcoming experience. 

When we returned to the Kusakawa’s apartment, they started to swamp me with questions like “what is the meat like in Australia?” and “do you have any kangaroos in your backyard?” and it was then that I had found use for my whiteboard by “illustrating” what I wanted to say instead of simply answering with “yes it is good” or “it is very fun”. I could find enjoyment in asking for a glass of water by drawing myself in an arid desert with a thought bubble featuring a pool of water where everyone would laugh; and after the awing of my “Mr Squiggle” acts the family all slept on the floor, which I thought was hilarious as I would only do that by myself sometimes on a hot summer day, but as a family activity? It was something that I had never heard of! After sneakily taking a few photos of the sleeping family, I joined them and rested my head on the carpet and participated in their lazy afternoon nap.

For each day I spent with Maiko and her family I drew in a “picture diary” where I could tell them how my day was by drawing okasan chasing me in the morning to wash my already-clean clothes (which would be an absolute crime in Australia), overlapping Maiko and Megumi in a game of Mario Kart to watching the comedy program - “man riding bicycle across swimming pool” and the family joined in with correcting my spelling whilst finding humor in my everyday adventures with them. I had observed the many quirks of the family such as okasan’s meticulousness in finding the freshest fish on the market, Kazuya’s love for kirin-beer (a Japanese brand beer) and celebration over buying his new Honda civic, listening to Megumi’s belief that learning English is too hard and that Japanese should be the only language spoken in the world and my attempt to explain the phrase “life is like a rollercoaster” to Maiko for her English homework. Everyday my Japanese improved a bit by bit so I did not have to rely on my whiteboard as much and I was slowly starting to feel like a part of Maiko’s family as my camera was almost full of images of my time spent with them. During the night I would stare at Maiko’s ceiling plastered with posters of “ikemen” (hot boys) and feel as if I was making up for the lost time where I felt as though I did not have a “complete” family, perhaps it was the greatest gift that they could ever share with me.

During my last day with the family I showed them my own “family” photo which only brought great pain to remind me about what I could no longer embrace after leaving them and knowing that my time as a “Kusakawa” was coming to an end. At the same time my own “lack” of family had made me appreciate their family-values so much more – they had taught me what it felt like to have a mother, a father and siblings all over again and their family outings meant a lot more than just delicious food and loud noodle-slurping noises. After drawing my final diary entry and laughing at a man falling off his bike and landing into a pool one last time, I silently wept on my bed over the thought of leaving Maiko’s family, secretly wishing that I would forever be a part of it. It was a long night for me; it was a night where I dreamed of one day having a family, just like the Kusakawa’s.

While I was double checking that I had taken my entire luggage with me I received a hand towel and some sweets from okasan and everyone else was waiting outside the house for me. I felt that the tim-tams and toy koalas I gave were simply not enough to express my gratitude to the family and something more needed to be said – so while I was being driven to the airport, little did they know that there was a whiteboard sitting next to their family photo, waiting to be seen, waiting to be read, waiting to be cherished before its ink had faded away.

 It was a drawing of the five of us, sleeping on a floor on a lazy afternoon with the message -
                                                                                                 Thank you for teaching what it is like to have a “family” again
Title: Re: English Work Examples Directory
Post by: daliu on November 27, 2011, 05:42:21 pm
A creative piece for a SAC that got perfect A+. :) It's on Whose Reality? as you might guess. Context piece is A Streetcar Named Desire. Also will post as an ATARnote.

Our experiences prevent us from seeing the truth.

Floating in the air were words. I remember, from 20 years ago...they were the eloquent, magnificent and final words of a dying man. They were the sounds of a clarity to which I'd rather remain oblivious. These words came under the pretence of casting an explosion of light on the world, but I've always found that lights that are too bright can be blinding.

As I regain consciousness, my senses again enter my vision, and I realise where I am. The crowd in front of me waits with anticipation, as I dramatically shuffle around this stage that I've built on the concrete pathways of this city. The foundations of the platform I'm standing on are decorated with the neon lights of the sign that says 'Magic Show'. The stage itself was built by me, but regrettably there is an unsteadiness and fragility about it that marks the very floor of what I'm standing on.

My eyes briefly catch the metropolitan marvel of the city's towers, and the the water of the cascading river in front of me. However, I quickly revert my concentration back to my magic tricks, less so out of necessity and more so out of a desire to maintain the quality of these illusions.

I skilfully execute a classic now-you-see-it-now-you-don't performance, to the thunderous applause of the crowd. That is, except for one child in the front who doesn't seem to believe in my acts. There is an eerie distinction between him and the rest of the crowd; by his expressions, he seems to know exactly what I'm doing, a feat considering that even I don't know how I did these tricks myself.

And then, seeing an old man in the audience merely move his eyebrow, memories begin to envelop me from all directions. The crowd and city disappears, and replacing it is an unwanted sharpness.

The hospital. This is where I was 20 years ago. The plaster white walls, which are normally painted with a calm sterility of emotion, are today covered with urgency and desperation.

"Why wasn't anyone with him!?"
"How did this happen...?"
"You told us the medication would stop his heart from going!"

Questions transformed by panic turned into statements, then more questions, then accusations, all amidst the treacherous sea of tears and foreboding grief. Whilst my family continued like this, I met eyes with my grandpa, lying o the bed with the cold tentacles of machines that were supposed to keep him alive.

Like two lone sailors on a solitary boat, I looked to him and him to me. He was barely conscious, but he was still thinking...and then he dipped his eyebrow, and then I felt trepidation. Being so close to him, I knew this eyebrow well...it was the eyebrow of deep consideration, the very same wrinkled brow that told me my dog had passed away, or that my father was going on a 6 month trip overseas.

Amid a tsunami of chaos, I thought for a moment that he could see only me and I him. He urged me closer. I could do nothing but go to him, preparing for what could be the lats thing he ever said.

Then he started speaking...with a fold in his brow and a twinkle of starlight in his eye, he said:

"My grandson...our time together is short." I couldn't help but let a solitary tear escape from my eye as he said this, my ear hovering above his face.

"But...I want you to know something." His voice fading away increasingly.

"No matter what hardships you may face...there has, and always will be, magic in the world."

And then the glitter in his eye vanished, before I even had the chance to ask him what he meant. Then, a flatline...with its sharply cruel pitch ringing out...and then, silence.

I didn't want him to die, and when he passed away I felt that the empty spaces which he left in my life turned into the darkest of voids. The only thing spared, now, are those words...they brought me to where I am today, in the eternal pursuit of magic. It was by this magic that Grandpa was never truly gone. I believe he's still somewhere, in this world, waiting.

Magic will bring him back...I'm sure it will, it must. He said there was always magic in the world, and I cling on to the fact that a miracle may happen...he may come back, with the grinning face and light in his aura that he always carried...as long as I believe in magic, I earnestly believe he'll be back. I don't want to lose him; not then, not now, not ever.

I feel an omnipresence staring at me from all around, and I realise that all this time I was still on the stage, performing in front of a crowd. Their roars urge me on as movement starts to re-enter the muscles of my body.

I perform one last trick for them; it was one of the first I learnt, and yet the most blindingly dazzling. In a flash, the chains which appear locked together in my hands are separated, then re-attached, then re-broken. The crowd gasps, but prematurely; out of the chains, I procure a white dove from out of nowhere. The trick was so well executed that I get to the point of convincing myself it was almost real.

Ten minutes of applause and a standing ovation later, the crowd departs...except for that one child, who remains. on one hand, he appears to have seen through all my illusions, but on the other hand, he has a more complex expression on his face. I can't tell if it's anticipation, fear or happiness, but with that look he shuffles his way across to me, as if wanting something.

"Hello there, young man," I say almost as if I were talking to a younger version of myself. "What can I do for you today? Did you like the show?"

He shook his head, indicating no. That's right...he saw through my illusions, or at least I thought he did.

"Is that so..." I sigh, disappointed. Then, to surprise him, I produce an Ace of Spades out of thin air and try to amaze him once more.

"How about that?" I question, now attempting to prove to him my magic out of my necessity rather than his satisfaction.

He again shakes his head. Then, I pose a question to him, somewhat in childish desperation:

"Isn't this magic good enough for you?" It was after I said it that I realise that I don't just want this magic to convince him, but to convince myself.

With a sudden nervous but enthusiastic vivacity, he materialises from his jacket pocket his own set of playing cards.

"Oh...so you want me to show me some magic," I say as if I had a minor epiphany.

Nodding energetically, he quickly shuffles the cards and asks me to pick one as he fans them out. I dutifully do so, and then he takes the card I picked and tries to execute his magic. However, as an inexperienced magician, he moves his hand much too quickly and fumbles all the cards in front of himself. They fall to the ground with majestic movement, but I am too busy laughing to tears to notice.

Then, with indignation, he fires out the first words I ever heard him say; "It's still magic!"

Then he starts smiling, then laughing with me.

After calming down after one of the jovial moments I have personally experienced in years, I contemplate what he said a bit deeper.

It's still magic...

I abruptly realise at once exactly what my grandpa meant. He wasn't talking about illusionary magic like I thought he did, but the magic of happiness that I failed to realise was around me all along. It was this magic that was supposed to guide me, not my denial of his death that for all these years I desperately believed in...he's well and truly gone now, contrary to what I previously desired to and did actually believe...but maybe, now I can accept it.

I need to pursue another magic, now.

"Thanks, kid..." I say, confounding the boy with my words. All around me, the neon lights of the city crisply come into my vision once more, and I begin to hear the melodies of the city in full colour. I step off the stage and onto solid ground. The river in front of me flows like it always has been, but now...I can finally appreciate its forever flowing nature.

Written Explanation
I wrote this piece as a first person interior monologue (with occasional dialogue) directed at a general audience. The purpose is to show that reality can be denied in order to prevent pain, but ultimately there is a possibility of a greater happiness in acceptance. The unnamed narrator is similar to Blanche in that he is almost delusional in the death of his Grandpa, both propagated by a desire to believe that what they had was not truly lost. The child is meant to almost be a confrontation of reality, with implications of seeing through his illusions somewhat in the same way that Stanley from Streetcar does, compounded by the effect of New Orleans on Blanche. However, these elements conversely impact the narrator in a healing instead of destructive way. The repeated metaphors of light/sound represent reality whereas the magic tricks represent illusion. The "unsteadiness and fragility" of the stage represents the state of the narrator's psychology. There is a large ocean metaphor to both illustrate the vastness and solitary nature of his situation. The river at the end represents change and the flow of time, and the narrator's appreciation of that river signifies the appreciation of such change.
Title: Re: English Work Examples Directory
Post by: Sickle on December 20, 2011, 02:24:35 pm
Lost all of my pieces via self-destruction or otherwise...except this one that I had posted on some random online forum...Enjoy

'Having a sense of being different makes it difficult to belong'
Context Creative - Identity and Belonging - Growing up Asian in Australia


***

Every morning, when she opens her eyes, they seem to snap open, as if her eyelids are elastic. Every evening, when she runs her fingers over her skin, it feels rubbery and strange. Every day, when she brushes past people, heads turn and eyes widen.

Elise seems to be human. It’s that sentiment that made her an alien. Seeming isn’t enough.

Her childhood is a hazy, blasphemous memory, stoned to pieces by her merciless inadequacy. Sitting in the playground, alone, clutching her uneaten sandwich in her hand. Wondering what made her an undesirable companion; why the playground rituals and youthful diplomacy didn’t come easily to her like it came to others; how others could play normally, when all she could do was observe in incomprehension. Wondering and doubting so much that her efforts at replicating their ‘playing’ fell short and felt strange. When she spoke, the words felt awkward and leaden on her tongue. She felt like a thoughtless robot, constricted under the skin of humanity, inappropriately wired to the advanced software of emotion, something her insufficiency couldn’t process without glitches.   

Her parents took her to a psychiatrist, as well as a speech therapist when she turned 16. They were good people, the Guilders. They understood her. They understood her as much as plain human parents could ever understand. Enveloped in their love and nurture, she’d felt warm; warm but uncomfortable. The emotions in her seemed strange – a detached entity that dictated her thoughts but weren’t her really. She explained this to the psychiatrist, tried to practice speaking with the speech therapist. They couldn’t diagnose her, so she was told she was fine. Maybe a little depressed.

It was a phase; she’d grow out of it at her own pace. They pocketed her parent’s money and left her stranded in confusion. How could she grow out of this when she was a little less than human? She took her rubbery skin, her elastic eyelids, her strange joints, her unbreakable bones, her strange lumps, her synthetic hair to various doctors and came back diagnosed with both hypochondria and ‘being a waste of time’.

Beautiful and smart - it didn’t take long for her to attract attention; all of which turned negative when her peers realised that they couldn’t speak with her without feeling an overwhelming sense of wrongness that reflected her own sense of oddity. She dreaded school, hated herself, cried her wearied self to sleep every night over daily heartbreak. The emotions took hold of her and ruined her emotionally and physically. She couldn’t grasp how something so alien to her affected her so profoundly, wasting her away until she was taken back to the psychiatrist and diagnosed with anorexia.

When she fell in love, aged 25, her world became a maelstrom of chaos. She wrote in her journal, in a rare burst of emotional inspiration: ‘Love, unending torture, pain and suffering, punctuated with fierce, brief moments of fleeting joy. I have yet to comprehend hate, but I believe it is similar.’ They were together for one long, confusing year. When she was with him, enveloped in his arms, so similar to her parent’s warmth, she felt safe. Safe but uncomfortable. Safe but she still didn’t belong.

He became dissatisfied and frustrated. ‘Why must you harp on about not being the same with everyone else? You might be weird, but you’re pretty normal compared to most.’ But it was this offensive, faux normality that was the problem, she told him. It was the way that she had to stop herself from feeling like she was playing life like a machine. ‘Stop trying so hard to be cool and unique. Do you think it’ll make you mysterious and rebellious, like movie heroines or something? You belong fine. You need to stop pretending to be so different.’

‘Insensitive!’ she screamed, even though she was just as frustrated and confused over her own feelings. Then they were over forever, and she was an outcast again, standing outside the strange, complex social world, looking in.   

She successfully assimilated herself into the distant but friendly circle of fellow doctors as she sank into her work. They went out in a group and were casual but kind to each other.  She didn’t realise until later on that she was the oblivious outcast within a group that tactfully hid their close-knit relationships and esoteric traditions to maintain their remote, but comfortable harmony.  She’d numbed herself to the pain by then.

Over the years, she had waded through endless streams of faceless patients, dutifully identifying the paranoid individuals as hypochondriacs, wondering ever so slightly if they could have been her kindred spirits, even as she watched their hunched backs disappear out her door.   

Elise sighs. She extends a gnarled, but rubbery claw at the ceiling, grasping at the intangible, infinite trickle of passing time.

Sixty years of fumbling through life. Sixty years, yet no progress made into the complexity of being normal. Her body has deteriorated, but her spirit is long dead.

She turns as there is a sudden whine, a high keening wail, and a flash, as a white-gold light appears in her room.

“Her time is up.” says the white-gold light.

She shoots up and squints, but there is nothing visibly animated or life-like about the light.

“Elise Guilders, experiment 1024 D1. Span, 64 years and 5 months. We are here to retrieve you.”

 “Who are you?”

“Curious conscious minds.” says another voice, as monotonous as the first. “The study was a success. You are our creation – a perfect and not unusual human being, one of our minds imbued with the additional traits of mortality and emotion.”

Disbelief and realisation descends on her slowly, buoyed by the crescendo of her mounting wrath. “You made me like this?” She screams, her voice a hoarse screech, “Sixty years of never belonging and never understanding myself? Despicable bastards! Just look at me!” She slams her wrinkled hand against the bedpost and it cracks. “Your experiment was a failure!”

 “Even now, we are shown evidence of our success. Your anger is a sign of how deeply emotion has infiltrated the formerly pure mind of one of our kind. You have become human, and you now fit in seamlessly among humans.”

“What are you talking about?!” she snaps in incredulity, “I have never belonged at all. I am always alone, always different, always irrevocably strange! Your observation skills are sub-par, if that is what you have concluded!”

It’s a deliberate taunt, but the voices seem to be unaffected. “You let the small inkling of your otherworldly identity overwhelm you. Even as you recognised it, you rejected it instead of embracing it. You let one tiny difference become a towering wall of separation. It is a human flaw. As a result of this, you are depressed like at least 25% of women on earth. You are triumphantly ordinary. The experiment is now over; the human vessel you inhabit is failing just as it should. We will be reclaiming you now.”

There is a flash of light, she tastes a brief, bittersweet tang of regret, and then she is free. Free and emotionless – her former body limp upon its cot. The white light swells for a second, and disappears.

***
Time taken: 80 minutes (woops)
Score from english teacher: 8/10
Title: Re: English Work Examples Directory
Post by: pi on December 26, 2011, 03:07:29 pm
I wrote a very similar piece to this for my Streetcar SAC (A+) and for the 2011 VCAA exam. This is part of a document I have for submission as an ATAR note too (along with three other A+ pieces). The form is expository-creative hybrid. Enjoy and good-luck!

“Every reality is open to interpretation”

The Age • Sunday Life • Lifestyle
Seeing Things Differently

Most of us live through our lives with little or any thought devoted to alternative interpretations, however, for actor Lucy Reid, creating these is part of her daily job. In an interview with entertainment analyst Brandon Lawrence, Lucy explores interpretations of her debut role.    

When Lucy Reid decided to take on the role of Tennesse William’s Blanche DuBois in her debut film,  Michael Gutenberg’s critical reply to William’s famous play A Streetcar Named Desire, she never thought that she would be the subject of world-wide headlines. The film, titled “DuBois or DuBad?”, created international outrage after it was heavily edited, including a weeklong re-enactment of a scene, prior to its screening in Dubai. In an exclusive interview with lead-actor and Oscar nominee Lucy Reid, we revisit this controversial interpretation of the film.

Brandon Lawrence: Welcome Ms Reid. Why, of all the professions in the world, did you choose the path of acting?

Lucy Reid: The interpretations. I think that as a professional, as an actor, we try to the best of our ability to fool our audience, to take them places where they have never been before. We have a duty to cast a veil over them, so that they see me as not the actor Lucy Reid, but the character that I am portraying. In the case of Michael’s [Gutenberg] film, I was Blanche. In the film, she is portrayed as someone who is severely emotionally scarred and a sufferer of post-natal depression following the miscarriage of the child who she claimed as Stanley’s. And to make matters worse, nobody in New Orleans or Laurel believe her. The beauty of acting is, that regardless of however Michael wanted to portray Blanche, it was my challenge to engage my audience in such a way that my role was left to their own interpretation. And I think that is the most difficult aspect of truly playing a role. As Blanche would say, “I get ten points for trying”.

B: (chuckles) You were very convincing Lucy, a well-earned Oscar nomination. As we all know, the film was drastically changed prior to its release in Dubai. Were any reasons given?

L: Well, the film touches on issues of rape, domestic violence, delusionalism and depression, all of which are, unfortunately, topics of taboo in many areas of the Middle East. I feel most for the audience, as I believe that this blatant censorship by their government will impede on their individual understanding and interpretation of the film.

B: So you disagree with the decision?

L: Very much so. This decision is similar to the one made by Joseph Breen when Tennesse’s original A Streetcar Named Desire was first brought to America’s big screens in 1951. When the original Broadway production was converted to a motion-length film, there was a similar outcry in the streets of New York to the one we now see in Dubai. In 1951, like Dubai, issues of rape and domestic violence were not encouraged on film. So much so that Breen, the head of the Production Code Administration, and Elia Kazan, the director of the film, had major discussions and disagreements. However, in the end, Breen won and the movie was censored. And for what? Nowadays the film can be seen in its entirety. I think that situation is very similar to that of Dubai.

B: Why do you think interpretations are so important in a case like this?

L: Interpretations drive the film industry Brandon. You of all people will know that that is the reason we have hundreds of film critics, picking apart what they thought a film was about. If films became censored, I would not be fulfilling my duty as an actor. We are supposed to surprise, frighten, entertain and transport our audiences according to their interpretations of our role. Censoring removes the individual interpretation and replaces it with that of some production code administrator. That’s like watching a movie from another person’s eyes. How could we want our audience to suffer and miss out like that? That is why I really do feel for those in Dubai who watched the censored version, they are missing out on the whole crux of movie-watching, the interpretation. It is really, very sad. 

B: The main reason for the film’s editing was that your character was too provocative, especially in the scene where Blanche shows Stanley her miscarriage child in the hospital wing. However, Dubai was not alone in this interpretation. Many critics from around the world shared the same opinion. Do you believe that your role could be offensive to some?

L: I think that Blanche could cause some offence to some areas of the community. However, and I’m sure Tennesse and Kazan would agree with me when I say this, that Blanche was supposed to be that way. She was a troubled woman who, in Michael’s film, really exhibits how serious her condition has become. I agree, that possibly the scene you referred to may cause some to feel a level of discomfort, but I don’t think that is any reason to edit the film in the way that was done in Dubai. In editing, they removed this whole section and replaced it with a series of abstract visual metaphors. If I were in an audience watching such a censored film, I would feel cheated for the experience, cheated for interpretation. 

B: Thank-you for your time and opinions Lucy. We wish you the best with your budding career.

L: Brandon, it’s been my pleasure.

Brandon Lawrence
     
     

Written Explanation
In exploration of the context ‘Whose Reality?’, I have written an expository-creative hybrid piece, one that could be published in the The Age ‘Sunday Life magazine’ under the sub-topic of ‘Lifestyle’, for a general adult cohort of readers. The piece focuses on Lucy Reid, an actor who portrays Blanche in a sequel film to Tennesse William’s A Streetcar Named Desire, in her discussion regarding the recent editing of the film prior to a screening in Dubai.

Lucy explores the theme of interpretation: what it means for her audience and why different interpretations are necessary, whilst the interviewer poses questions about the interpretation from those who have edited the film. In accordance with the prompt: “Every reality is open to interpretation”, the primary focus of the piece is the notion of interpretation regarding the reality, which in this case, is the film.

The use of fictional ‘entertainment analyst’ Brandon Lawrence allowed me to not only adapt the colloquial and conversational style of language in accordance with the Sunday Life magazine, but also allowed me to ask for the interpretations from the view of the actor, adding a different perspective to my response. Drawing on the real censorship of A Streetcar Named Desire in 1951, I was able to add credibility and plausibility to my piece. With Lucy explaining her interpretation as a professional actor, and Brandon Lawrence exploring the notion of interpretations from the view of the censors, I hope to show that “Every reality is open to interpretation”.


Rohitpi


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Title: Re: English Work Examples Directory
Post by: pi on December 26, 2011, 03:15:05 pm
There doesn't seem to be much on Ransom here, so I'll post this one up. It was done in 50mins (hence its only ~730 words) and was deemed a low A+ (probably 8.5/10-ish) from my teacher. Enjoy and good-luck! :)


“It is his view of Hector that Achilles must wrestle with if he is to achieve any peace of mind.” Discuss.

In a revisit to Homer’s eighth century BC epic The Iliad, David Malouf’s Ransom explores the intricacies of the quest to retrieve Hector’s body, whilst also reflecting on Achilles’ emotional upheaval following Patroclus’ death. Throughout the novel, Malouf predominantly focuses on protagonists Priam King of Troy and ‘Achilles the Runner’, however, early in the novel there is also emphasis on the significance of Hector to Achilles’ present and future. The role that Hector plays in reminding Achilles of himself and being used as a tool of the Gods to mock him, is fundamental to the source of Achilles’ ‘endless rage’ and despair. Furthermore, Malouf uses Hector to provide a paternal link between the two protagonists, a link that results in the liberation of Achilles from his grief and anger.

During and in the aftermath of Achilles’ truncated battle with Trojan prince and hero Hector, Malouf highlights the importance of Hector’s death through his metaphorical representation of Achilles. Standing to face Achilles in ‘[his] armour’ prior to battle, Achilles is firstly reminded of his beloved ‘soulmate’ Patroclus. This reminder of Achilles’ loss consumes him with anger and grief. However, Hector also reminds Achilles of another ‘warrior’ who donned the same armour, himself. Malouf uses this second representation of Hector to further propel Achilles into rage, as through the battle, Achilles believes that he is actually in conflict with himself. This combination of of rage against himself and grief for Patroclus prompts him to deface Hector’s body, against Ancient Greek tradition, in defiance of the Gods who he blames for his rage. The act of ‘tying the tendons’, one that leaves the Trojan spectators stunned and horrified, is Achilles’ message to the Gods that although they have metaphorically mated him with Hector, he is not weakened by their presence in his ‘rough world of men’.

Malouf further entices Achilles into rage and despair through his portrayal of Hector’s corpse as a tool of the Gods. ‘For eleven days’ Achilles, in vain, continues to deface and insult Hector’s body by dragging it around the walls and towers of Troy, in an attempt to ‘break the spell’ that he believes the Gods have laid upon him. However, each day that Achilles begins this ritual, he is met with a mocking message from the immortal world – the full restoration of Hector’s body. This view of Hector that confronts him daily causes him to further himself into his anger and madness, something that Malouf uses to show that Hector is merely a tool from the Gods. Furthermore, Malouf shows that the Gods mockingly disapprove of Achilles’ actions through their use of Hector’s body, showing that if Achilles wants to be liberated from his rage, his defacing of Hector’s body will not allow him to become at peace.

Achilles finally finds the ‘true Achilles’ through Praim, who uses Hector’s ransom to link them fathers and mortal men. Priam’s visit into Achilles’ hut with the ‘common carter’ Somax, is the event that finally allows him to be at peace with his emotions. Through discussion with Praim, Malouf reveals Achilles’ ‘pining’ for his son Neoptolemus, which prompts Achilles to draw parallels between Hector and his own son. This common paternal love created by Hector and Neoptolemus causes Achilles to accept ransom and release not only Hector, but also his rage, and event Malouf describes as ‘something being released’ with Achilles. Having ‘broken [God’s] spell’ on Achilles, Malouf further evinces that as the ‘warrior’ is able to allow Priam and Troy a time of peace to mourn Hector’s spirit, that Achilles himself has finally achieved peace.

Throughout the pages of Ransom, Malouf shows that the role of Hector in the novel is essential to the source, liberation and understanding of Achilles’ emotional rage and grief. Hector, whilst alive in battle, metaphorically represents Achilles himself, a representation that propels him into his initial rage. Whilst deceased, Malouf uses Hector as a tool for the Gods to mock him and disapprove of his actions. However, Malouf, through Priam’s painful reminding of Neoptolemus, gives Hector the crucial role of a source of paternal link between the two protagonists. This link changes Achilles’ view of not only Hector, but also of the wider world, something that finally allows Achilles to be at peace with himself.   


Rohitpi


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Title: Re: English Work Examples Directory
Post by: mr.politiks on January 01, 2012, 07:45:28 pm
Only essay i typed for RIII
Not possible for me in exam conditions, but thought i might as well post it up as a reference point.

“I never was nor never will be false”
‘Richard III demonstrates how difficult it is to determine who is true and who is false.’ Discuss.


Set in the volatile political climate of fifteenth century England, in which corruption within the upper echelons of society was rampant, William Shakespeare’s grand denouement to his minor historical tetralogy, Richard III, contextualises a gripping antithesis between outward appearance and inner intention. Throughout the play, theatregoers are held in awe by the compelling contradictions between the eponymous villain’s words and his thoughts, as he artfully exposes the inherent difficulty with which his unsuspecting victims attempt to distinguish between truth and deception. Shakespeare primary means of exposing this inherent difficulty is that the play’s audience remains privy to Richard’s true designs through his soliloquies, whilst his ingenuous victims are entirely unaware of the evil behind his masterfully engineered facade of feigned altruism. Whether it be Clarence, who is too unsuspecting and far too easily manipulated, the foolish and overconfident Hastings, who is too ignorant to heed early warnings, or Buckingham, too bombastic and proud in his own ability to manipulate, all of Richard’s victims find it difficult, or even impossible, to read his true intentions. Shakespeare has, however, constructed particular characters who demonstrate that whilst difficult, it is possible to differentiate truth from falsehood in the face of Richard’s expert deception. Stanley, who out-manoeuvres Richard through his own elusive rhetoric, and Queen Elizabeth, who correctly suspect’s Richard’s designs, show that it is possible to see through deception with sufficient political acumen. Ultimately, however, these characters are relatively ineffectual in Richard’s demise, which reveals that the power to distort truth and dominate others through falsehood remains a potent weapon in the world of corruption in which Richard III takes its setting.

From the outset, Richard establishes himself as a villain who will revel in his casuistry. He confides with his audience, as he reveals in his opening soliloquy, “plots have I laid, inductions dangerous”, and that he is “subtle, false and treacherous”. Thereafter, theatregoers are aware of his sinister intentions, and that he is extremely confident in his ability to “bustle” in a corrupt world. One of Shakespeare’s intentions here is to allow audiences to prepare themselves for what is to come - audiences now expect Richard to be a villain who will “clothe” his “naked villainy” and “seem a saint when most [he] plays the devil”. The power of this development becomes apparent when Richard, living up to the very expectations that he has induced, begins to establish a devastating rhetorical directorship over other characters’ actions. The audience have been spared from the destructive power of his ability to manipulate, but his ill-fated victims, oblivious to his true intentions, are slowly but surely drawn in to his web of deceit. Immediately after Richard completes his opening soliloquy, he adopts the facade of discerning family man, and meets Clarence on his way to imprisonment in the Tower of London. Shakespeare successfully juxtaposes the audience’s full knowledge of Richard’s misanthropic motives and Clarence’s utterly unsuspecting demeanour to highlight how impossible it is for Clarence, who has had no prior exposure to Richard’s inner machinations, to identify Richard’s evil. Richard’s mellifluous tones, as he falsely re-assures Clarence, “This deep disgrace in brotherhood, touches me deeper than you can imagine”, construct an impregnable facade of brotherly concern and truthfulness. He simultaneously flaunts his true intentions, with his ironic foreshadowing of Clarence’s death; “O belike his majesty hath some intent, that you should be new christened in the tower”. Such is Richard’s adroitness with words, that Clarence, and other victims in the same fashion, are completely deceived, with almost no way of determining the falseness of his external manner. Thus, Shakespeare, by exposing audiences to the truth and then displaying the onstage actors’ struggles to see through Richard’s manipulative facades, successfully conveys the difficulty with which truth and falsehood are differentiated, especially when they are contorted by the hands of a master deceiver.

Whilst a large part of this difficulty is attributed to Richard’s expert ability to hide his true intentions, Shakespeare goes further as he exposes it as a fatal human flaw, through his construction of characters that instigate their own demise due to their ineptitude in the face of Richard’s evil. Hastings is palpably oblivious, and his naivety transcends even the label of innocence. Indeed, it categorises him as purely foolish. His failure to heed omens is definitely ironic, and darkly humorous, as is revealed by his ‘well informed’ view of Richard’s standpoint: “I know he loves me well”. This is closely followed by a mockery of Richard’s true character, “For by his face straight shall you know his heart”. Hastings meets a cruel end, which reinforces Shakespeare’s view that a remarkable inability to see through falsehood can consign one to an eventual demise in a corrupt and unforgiving world. Richard’s final political victim also exhibits a similar form of naivety. Buckingham is confident that he will be spared, given that he has supported Richard in his meteoric ascent to the throne. Moreover, he believes that his own ability to manipulate can save him. How wrong he is when he too is manoeuvred by Richard to a point from which there is no return. First, Richard flatters him, “My other self, my counsel’s consistory/My oracle, my prophet, my dear cousin”, and nourishes his overconfidence. Then, when he asks him, flippantly, to complicit in the murder of the princes, Buckingham knows he is doomed, for his conscience will not allow him to proceed. When he flees the audience are shown that any form of misplaced trust in Richard can only result in unpalatable consequences. With Buckingham’s final execution, Shakespeare reveals that even the most wily of men have great difficulty in reading the true intentions of a villain who is so effectual in his ability to conceal these intentions.

Shakespeare does, however, boldly contrasts the ineptitude of Richard’s victims with characters that have a laudable ability to see through Richard’s outwards illusory appearance. The most notable of these is Lord Stanley – a man of immense political astuteness who confronts Richard with his own subtle and elusive rhetoric, effectively outplaying him at his own game. Stanley shares with Richard the rare ability to conceal inner intensions with dramatic effect, as he appeases Richard in his flurry of panic before the battle. Richard is ever more fearful, claiming “Thou wilt revolt, and fly to him [Richmond], I fear”. At the surface, Stanley’s reply is frank, “No, my good lord; therefore mistrust me not”, yet is also quite vague. He placates Richard, yet at the same time does not commit himself fully to his words, which allows him to masterfully out-manoeuvre Richard and present the king with the same veneer of feigned trust that the king has so successfully used to manipulate, and then annihilate, his victims in the play’s earlier sequences. It seems appropriate that he survives until the end because of this ability, which is perhaps one way Shakespeare emphasises the magnitude of Richard’s ability to deceive – only a man that is as good as Richard in distorting outward appearance can escape his expansive net. A second character who does not fall prey to Richard’s manipulative charade is Queen Elizabeth. Indeed, she suspects Richard from the beginning, indicated by her remark when Richard appears at court, his deceptive efforts at their height, “Come, come, we know your meaning, brother Gloucester”. The Lancastrian Queen Margaret also sees through Richard’s facade, as she warns Buckingham, “take heed of yonder dog”. However, both Stanley and the women look on powerlessly as Richard murders his way to the throne. Eventually, it is Richmond, a symbol of providence as much as he is a character, that ousts Richard from the throne. This eventuality fits Shakespeare’s wider intention to depict Richard as a potent and unstoppable villain, only able to be defeated through a form of divine intervention, regardless of whether his deception can be met with counter-deception, or whether it could be seen through by particular characters.

The conflict between appearance and reality is a major theme in Richard III, and Richard’s ability to distort the two shows how immensely difficult it can be to distinguish between truth and falsehood in his words. This is evidenced through the behaviour of his unsuspecting victims, who are completely taken in by his expert use of language and feigned veneer of bonhomie. The ultimate deaths of Clarence and Hastings, and even Richard’s chief accomplice, Buckingham, show that those who underestimate this ability are consigned to an undesirable fate. Shakespeare shows that naivety in the face of deception makes that deception even more powerful, which edifies the Elizabethan audience as much about the nature of the relationship between outward appearance and inner intention as it intensifies the magnitude of Richard’s villainy. Shakespeare does, however, give his audience characters who have an ability to see through Richard. The fact that these characters are ultimately ineffectual in preventing Richard from his rise to the throne, however, reveals that a powerful ability to manipulate and distort the truth is difficult to counteract if only a limited number of individuals have the ability to oppose it.
Title: Re: English Work Examples Directory
Post by: Seems madam? on February 13, 2012, 07:14:18 pm
“Richard III chiefly challenges audiences by its portrait of a divided world in which the forces of darkness dominate.” Discuss.

The portrait of the play is one in which the formidable oratory and chilling ruthlessness of “foul defacer of God’s handiwork” initially abounds. Richard captivates the audience from the outset, resulting in our compliance with his heinous actions. Furthermore, the corrupt society seems fitting for Richard’s machinations; he thrives in debased moral standards. However, once crowned, Richard loses his charm. Not only does the audience separate themselves from Richard’s injustice, but Richard’s dominance as a villain is undermined, most pointedly by the noble Richmond. Thus, Richard III presents us with a divided world in which darkness dominates for a time, but is eventually overthrown by the insurmountable purity of human goodness. It is through this contrast between good and evil that Shakespeare encourages us to be noble in our thoughts and actions.

The palpable charisma of Richard’s opening soliloquy encapsulates the darkness that enshrouds the play. England is divided primarily because of the cunning manipulator we are immediately presented with. The fact that Richard communicates so early on with the audience and in the form of a soliloquy, invites us to collude with this villain. His repeated “now” is enticing because it indicates a man who is not dwelling on the past or necessarily the future, but rather is firmly focused on wreaking havoc in the present. The pun in “this son of York” reveals Richard’s intellect, the cornerstone of his character. It is this intellect that provides Richard with the self-awareness to recognise his deformity in both feature and thought. He understands the fact that he thrives in “grim-visaged war” and repulses “this weak piping time of peace”. Furthermore, the succulent sarcasm in “capers nimbly... to the lascivious pleasing of a lute” is enhanced by the alliteration in the ‘l’ sound. Though we do not overtly bear sympathy for Richard because of his deformity, we are enthralled by his “inductions dangerous”. The coupling and inversion of both noun and adjective typifies this man’s mastery of language as it speeds up the tempo of his soliloquy, adding to the suspense which draws in the audience. Thus, by the end of Richard’s oration we have been challenged by the darkness of his mind and have become willing collaborators in his villainy. His “subtle, false and treacherous” nature influences our own viewing. He touches us in a part that secretly enjoys mayhem, warms to malevolence, and romps in malfeasance. Therefore, he exposes and captures our certain latent desire to break with the conventions of goodness and be part of the dark side.

However, the world of the play is “tott’ring” also because of a torn social fabric. Many of the play’s characters are immoral themselves, and Richard dominates because he is ready to exploit them. In the royal court we are presented with a Queen who cares only for herself. Her first words are, “if he were dead, what would betide on me?” elucidating her self-preserving attitude. Furthermore, her “haught and proud” kinsmen combine with the King’s weak moral standards, spoiling himself with licentiousness, to create a sordid world. Even the expressing of grief becomes a competition as with the death of Clarence and King Edward, the Duchess seeks to ensure that her cries are loudest, proclaiming: “Oh, what cause have I, thine being but a moiety of my moan, to overgo thy woes and drown thy cries.” Equally corrupt is Margaret, who chastises the members of the court for “snarling” viciously, “ready to catch each other by the throat”, yet is hypocritical in that she too has committed crimes, rejoicing in the murder of “faultless... pretty Rutland”. It is in this debased terrain that Richard’s villainy thrives. From the firm stance of, “Lo, in these windows that let forth thy life, I pour the helpless balm of my poor eyes”, Richard employs his formidable oratory to “win” Lady Anne: “Look how my ring encompasseth thing finger”. This is furthered by the fact that she “spits” at him, castigating him as a“diffused infection of man”, only for Richard to reply with the stichomythic, “divine perfection of a woman”. Here is man comfortable and flourishing in the corruption of a dark society. He furthers the divisions between houses by incriminating the Woodvilles: “closer in bloody thoughts than in blood”. Hence, the portrait of the play is black with immorality not only because of Richard’s foul injustice.

However, Richard’s treachery loses dominance once he is enthroned. There is a significant shift in this villain’s character, severing his relationship with the audience and eroding his empire founded on injustice. Immediately after being crowned Richard orders the death of the princes. As an audience, we have permitted and even revelled in Richard’s immorality, but infanticide causes us to hesitate. Furthermore, when Buckingham, who has previously acted as Richard’s “other self”, his “counsel’s consistory”, requires “some pause”, as audience, we see gravity of Richard’s crimes. Eloquence leaves Richard’s language after his coronation as he blandly and shockingly commands, “Shall I be plain? I wish the bastards dead”. Craftiness with language has previously been the source of much of our entertainment as an audience, and to have it removed now reinforces the change in our relationship with the protagonist. Furthermore, the newfound unity within the women of society and news of the approaching Richmond, further indicate Richard’s declining power. The language of filial affection enters their dialogue in, “good sister”. We see that there is genuine care and compassion between Elizabeth, Anne and the Duchess as they part from each other with heartfelt farewells: “Poor heart, adieu; I pity thy complaining.” This unity frustrates Richard. When the women rise to “smother” Richard in curses, he is forced to “Strike alarum, drums” sinking further into the immorality of war. It is this immorality that forces even “fleshed villains”, Dighton and Forrest, to “melt with tenderness and mild compassion”. Therefore, as Richard’s actions become increasingly egregious our bond with Richard breaks just as his own dominance begins to falter.

Ultimately, Richard III presents the audience with a divided world in which the darkness of injustice is thwarted by noble virtue. In the latter stages of the play, Shakespeare constructs a dichotomy between the goodness and thriving of Richmond, and the monstrosity and rightful decline of Richard, to indicate where our sentiments should lie. Richard wakes with “trembling flesh” after his conscience can no longer be suppressed. He is plagued by the supernatural ghosts, being told to “despair and die”, indicating that the “all-seer” is delivering the consequences for Richard’s villainy. In contrast, Richmond has “the sweetest sleep and fairest-boding dreams”. This noble youth will “live and flourish” as the moral undercurrents of the play purge the “hell-hound” from continuing to wreak havoc. Similarly, while Richmond prays to God in “thou whose captain I account myself”, seeks to fight “in the name of God” and treats his men as “fellows in arms... my most loving friends”, Richard is all the more ugly by comparison. His focus on the disgusting mirrors the shape of his character by this stage. “Vagabond, rascals, and runaways”, “scum”, “base lackey peasants” all enter Richard’s vocabulary as he desperately tries to find power in immorality. Yet, in his death we see that his duplicitous way of life is unsustainable and ultimately beastly. The darkness of England is vanquished by the power of human goodness symbolically captured in Richmond’s character. By the play’s denouement, the audience is struck most, not by the darkness of corruption, but by the shining purity of the goodness that prevails.

Throughout Shakespeare’s play the darkness of villainy mesmerises and often succeeds. Like Richard, it is seductive, powerful, but also immoral. Though it thrives in the baseness of England’s society, it is an unsustainable way of life, constantly eroded by conscience and the goodness of man. As an audience we are initially enticed by the sinister smoothness and intricacy of Richard’s web of deceit, yet grow to see how heinous his actions truly are. By the end of the play, however, Richmond’s succession symbolises morality prevailing over immorality. While we are captivated by Richard’s world of scheming, it is contrasted with the triumphant goodness of Richmond. More than the sheer rankness of society, it is this ultimate choice between good and evil which Shakespeare leaves with his audience. In accordance with the moral undercurrents of the play, we choose to pursue the noble option.
Title: Re: English Work Examples Directory
Post by: anthony99 on March 16, 2012, 03:53:54 pm
¬¬¬¬Shakespeare presents the villainy in human nature but also that we can be redeemed

The aristocratic court of London is crudely subverted from what should be the prevailing realm of justice and civility into a space crawling with gammoning nobles, eager for “advancement”.  Richard seems to stand above his counterparts in his ability to deceive and manipulate, allowing him to ironically notice more acutely than seemingly all the other nobles early in the play that “the world has grown so bad/ That wrens make prey where eagles dare not perch”, endeavouring to portray the apparent disturbances to the natural order. Shakespeare however extends this irony as it is Richard’s anger that “every jack became a gentleman” that elicits his condemnation of this world, characterising England as bereft of any hopes of social equality. Therefore, for Shakespeare, the fact that any person, from any social class can degenerate into depravity or become a “gentleman” serves to highlight both that this world is so mired in sin that to become ennobled may require subterfuge but also that our character is defined by how we choose to act. For Shakespeare, humans are not inherently flawed, but rather congenitally stamped with yearnings and desires that when followed without consideration for others, can elicit anti-social, damaging behaviour.

Shakespeare conveys the results of purely self-absorbed actions to portray how we posses tendencies towards acting to the detriment of others for our own benefit. Shakespeare sees us as being torn between following these desires and listening to our restraining conscience so as to suggest that the nuanced struggles we have often arise from difficult external forces such as being of a low socioeconomic status. The two murders are presented as in such turmoil, speaking in the unmetered prose of commonality in their internal battle with being “damned for killing” Clarence and the “the Duke of Gloucester’s purse”, which acts as an image of material “reward” and earthly gain.  Shakespeare draws out the sequence of philosophical contemplation to draw our attention to the reasonings and justification of these men. The fact that a small purse holds a reward great enough to outdo their fear of “God’s dreadful law” suggests the desperateness of these murders. We are meant to realise the disparity between the bribes of the Nobility-such as Buckingham’s alleged remuneration of “The’ Earldom of Hefford and the movables”- and the coins that bribe the murders to realise that our morality is subject to our circumstances, and that as such, it is not the scope of our deeds but rather their motives that convey our self-restraint.  In this Shakespeare is adamant, repeating the same thread through the “discounted Gentleman” Tyrell, whom “corrupting gold” will overcome his “haughty means”, reflecting again that our ability to make altruistic decisions is tied to how our situation fits out desires. It is therefore, being a “discontented” person that drives us towards selfish acts as characters from as high social standing as the Duke of Gloucester- and later the King- to even an impoverished commoner are led to sell their guilt for what they feel will gratify them. Of course, Shakespeare isn’t saying that our propensity towards sin is marked in proportion to our wealth, but merely stating that we are not born with villainy or virtue, instead thrust into circumstances that encourage us to go against social norms or laws. 

While such dispositions are ubiquitously human, Shakespeare is not painting human nature as inherently evil or even flawed. We are, for Shakespeare, entities defined both by fortune and choice. Richard, for example tells himself that his malice is a reaction to his “deformed, unfinished body” that means he “cannot prove a lover” and is “therefore determined to prove a villain”. The “since”, and “therefore” in these lines are pivotal as it conveys the progression of his sadism.  Of course, Richard’s following seduction of Anne is designed by Shakespeare to encourage us to question Richard’s declaration that his evil actions are a way of compensating and “entertain[ing] these fair well spoken days” as it should follow that sexual gratification would thus end his schadenfreude. It is easy to assume that the failure of Richard’s explanation for his actions therefore prove that Richard’s villainy is inherent but this chafes with Shakespeare’s underlying vision of the play as an emblem for man’s ability to overcome our problems through Christian morality and altruism.  Moreover, it is this message of hope and salvation that makes Richmond’s speech so refreshing as it comes as an injection of love and kindness after what have been hours- or many “sickly days” in the world of the play- of gruesome violence and inhuman “foul” imagery where “gentle babes” are fed to wolves.  Richmond talks of “one bloody trial of sharp war” as enough “To reap the harvest of perpetual peace”, providing us with a display of truth in the human condition; that often we cannot be utterly virtuous as situation dictates sacrifices.  Hence, for Shakespeare, Richmond’s words and intents are emblematic of the natural tension between propagating love and kindness and following our ideal wishes.

It is because we are able to interpret and act upon our passions for both collective assistance or self-centred gain, that Shakespeare conveys us as able to redeem ourselves and generate love. Just as Richard is able to use his “sugared words” to deceive those around him, he also deceives himself into believing he is above remorse. In Act Five Scene Three Richard is alone in his tent, woken from a dream of his downfall. For Shakespeare, Richard’s muddled thoughts with frequent caesura through punctuation, “Then fly. What, from myself?” are indicative of his troubled mind, highlighting that this is Richard’s true soliloquy as he ignores the audience completely and lacks a crafted speech. Richard presents an image of his conscience as having “a thousand several tongues...and every tongue condemns me for a villain” painting the manifold nature of our conscience as it encapsulates our morality, knowledge of norms and our most private desires.  That his guilt has “a thousand” voices of opposition portrays how great Richard’s realisation is and illustrates Shakespeare’s conception of the inevitability of our guilt as well as more broadly, the nature of divine retribution as Richard is depicted as a “devil” consistently.  We are watching Richard break down and declare “I rather hate myself” as he can clearly see the destruction he has caused. Moreover, Richard has surpassed the point of self-deception, unable to reassure himself through desperate protestations of “Richard loves Richard” because he is facing up to the inherent disposition toward understanding and bending to sociality that Shakespeare sees as having. Richard now properly understands what he has done and how it has caused a disproportionate amount of damage to those around him, than has satisfied himself because he has in a sense, fallen victim to a Super-ego form of knowledge that places us within our environment. Shakespeare sees Richard as inevitably going to lose his “flint” heart because we are all born with-or at least raised with- an inbuilt social mechanism that is given to us by God. Richard is an extreme case and we do not see him ever act out of love for anyone but himself yet Shakespeare alludes through Richard’s succumbing to his conscience, that altruistic tendencies, as well as selfish ones, are inherent in us, and that it is up to how we react to our circumstances that define our morality.

Richmond and Richard are two extremes of what is for Shakespeare, the same thing; the human condition. Richard represses anything that hinders him from gratification, and acts in a “subtle false and treacherous” manner that forces his mind to hide in the shadows and behind masks.  Richmond however lacks such duplicity and is truthful to himself and his army, admitting that “the ransom of my bold attempt/shall be this cold corpse on the earth’s cold face”, putting the idea of death and possible failure into realistic perspectives. Though these two men are depicted as polar opposites even via directly contrasting staging at Bosworth field, Shakespeare deliberately hints that there are links between them as in the form of calling those who do not support him as enemies “What traitor hears me and says not amen?”. While subtle, Shakespeare is nonetheless showing us that we are all sculpted from the same marble, carrying within us the same passions and capacity for reason. It is because of this common humanity yet vastly differing ethos’ between people that highlight Shakespeare’s views of our human nature acting like a template to which villainy or virtue can be formed. Ultimately, we are not evil beings that must force our selfish desires into submission for redemption, but beings who can act upon our emotions, preferences and circumstances in ways that are altruistic or anti-social. ¬¬
Title: Re: English Work Examples Directory
Post by: Surgeon on April 16, 2012, 10:07:56 pm
I'm not sure whether this will be valuable to anyone since I'm currently in year 12 but I thought I'd contribute anyway. Moderators, feel free to delete this post if you see fit. I don't think this piece is very good but it was the second SAC I did for school and I got 30/30 on it and it was given a 10/10 by an assessor for VCAA.
Whose reality? 'A Streecar named Desire'

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‘Reality is what we need to believe’

While there is a degree of freedom in the formation of one’s reality, this freedom can lead to a deceptive or illusionary construct created in order to evade the harsh truths of one’s surrounds. Although people may immerse themselves and invest their faith in alternate realities as a possible source of comfort, ongoing falls into the illusionary realm cannot be maintained. Hence, our realities that we try so hard to avoid, in an attempt to live in our falsified realities, are in the end our everlasting relief. For this reason, it is necessary for individuals to come to terms with a more authentic version of reality and believe in it, since it is the only one thing capable of providing both true happiness and sorrows.

Reality is a construction of our minds and a creation of the individual. Buddhists believe that what we see and perceive as our reality is actually a kind of dream. This opens the avenue for our minds to accept more than one version of the truth in a vast spectrum of possibilities. We subsequently form the realisation that everyone has a different reality which forms the foundations of their worldly comprehension, each with varying levels of authenticity and levels of tangibility, from perceiving reality as what can be physically accounted for, as in science, to a creation of the mind or imagination as is expressed in artwork. A dichotomy of what reality is can be observed through the art communities’ response to surrealism and artists such as Salvador Dali. Where art used to be considered the artist’s ability to reconstruct reality as it is seen by the naked eye, surrealism soon became accepted as an equally valid interpretation of one’s environment regardless of how abstract its representation may be. The protagonist of Tennessee Williams’ ‘A Streetcar named Desire’, Blanche DuBois, is exemplary of someone with an abstract view of reality as compared to the majority who surround her. However, she stresses a firm belief in her illusionary world of glamour and grandeur as it provides her with an escape from what she perceives as the dismal truth of her new life in the ‘New South’. This is indicative of how when one has formed their reality they will defend it vehemently, as any weakness in the infrastructure of the truths as they understand them, has the potential to emanate to the very core of the individual’s personal stability. Hence, one can observe that there are innumerable versions of reality in which an individual can choose to believe and that even a minority account of the truth can provide a satisfying sense of legitimacy.

Many individuals choose to believe in an illusionary reality as a source of consolation to counter-balance the harshness of their more pragmatic realities. As famous German philosopher, Sigmund Freud, once stated, ‘illusions commend themselves to us because they save us pain and allow us to enjoy pleasure instead’. Embracing escapism becomes a form of temporary relief from the adversities of a person’s stark and painful reality. As time progresses and the aging process takes its toll, rendering her less and less attractive and desired with every passing second, Blanche begins to lose her charisma and consequently, her ability to be authoritative also diminishes. In an attempt to negate her promiscuous past, Blanche clings desperately to the stereotype of a typical ‘Southern Belle’, a beautiful, respectful and intelligent upper-class women of French-European descent with conservative values and morals. It is debatable whether any of the aforementioned qualities of a ‘Southern Belle’, genuinely exist within Blanche, a strumpet trying to escape her past. To Blanche, “a woman’s charm is fifty percent illusion” and accordingly she prefers to tell what ought to be the truth as opposed to what the truth actually is. Investing faith into an alternate reality seems to be an easier option for individuals in society when it comes to overcoming the adversities of their calamitous realities when compared to taking disciplinary actions to address these problems permanently.

Although individuals all share different views on reality and sometimes opt to believe in falsified ones, distorted realities are not sustainable for extended periods of time and are only worth living until they become unbearable; often leading to drastic outcomes and conflicts of large-scale. As our conception of truth moves further away from the actuality of the correspondence with the facts, it moves nearer and nearer to two subjects: the person trying to uncover the truth and the person trying to cover the truth. As Winston Churchill once said, 'the truth is incontrovertible. Malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end, there it is'. No matter what happens in life and how we react to what happens to us, no matter how productively or inefficiently we operate, the truth is always there. This situation can be alluded to in the relationship between Blanche and Stanley in 'A Streetcar named Desire' . Blanche is always trying to portray herself as something she is instinctively is not, while Stanley determinedly works towards uncovering the truth about her, finally breaking her down when he discovers the whole truth. Thus, there is absolutely no logical explanation as to why people would try to uphold their distorted perceptions of realities as it is only a matter of time before the whole truth is discovered.

Although individuals sometimes lead difficult and demeaning lives, conjuring alternate, more pleasant and falsified realities, investing all of their faith into them should not be advised. Not only are these realities short-lived and impossible to sustain for an extended period of time, they provide the individual with false hope that they have solved their problem and escaped the negativity associated with their ‘real’ reality whereas what they are actually doing is making a problem they must face even worse. Individuals in society all think and operate in different ways which results in their differing realities, which in turn, determines their life. Our perceptions on life and how we respond to what happens to us indisputably has a drastic effect on the path of our lives and although some individuals in society resort to conjuring alternate realities which have the potential to cause more problems than they fix. We must ask ourselves, what is real? How do you know that you as you know yourself, and your life as you know it aren't just the bi-products of a very detailed falsified reality that has been conjured by you in another life, in a parallel universe?
Title: Re: English Work Examples Directory
Post by: Surgeon on April 30, 2012, 10:13:44 pm
Once again: I'm not sure whether this will be valuable to anyone since I'm currently in year 12 but I thought I'd contribute anyway. Moderators, feel free to delete this post if you see fit.

Text: Twelve Angry Men.
Topic: 'Despite questioning the ultimate fairness and reliability of the jury system, Twelve Angry Men is, at heart, a tribute to this system.' Discuss

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Reginald Rose’s naturalist play, ‘Twelve Angry Men’, a two-act drama set in a single jury room in a New York state of law, was written in a period of time in which the United States of America was witnessing the widespread, catastrophic misuses of the legal system in the height of the McCarthyist paranoia. The play begins with all but one of the jurors certain of the defendant's guilt. As the play progresses, individuals such as jurors seven and ten reveal the potential flaws of the jury system with their plethora of prejudiced and bigoted views, undermining the principles of their social responsibility and active citizenship. While this is the case, Rose's foremost message lies not on the faults of the jurors but on their power to achieve stunning results. The diversity within the jury room allows all facts to be scrutinized and accordingly, justice prevails. Hence, despite the limitations of the jury system, Rose shows that although there is the threat of injustice prevailing in the jury system, it will always achieve a just result if allowed to operate in the fashion intended.

Each of the jurors and the defendant in the play exists as a stereotype, representing a larger group in society. The difference in their personalities is utilized to expose how racism and prejudice can subvert the jury system. Prejudice is pervasive, often based on past experiences and it blinds avenues for alternative possibilities. Rose leaves us to consider the adverse miscarriages of justice that prejudice can lead to. Such racism can be seen between the jurors themselves and it is often used to try and undermine a juror's contributions toward the discussions. When juror eleven, the German refugee, questions juror seven's understanding of the pivotal term 'reasonable doubt', juror seven replies with a racist remark, claiming that the migrant "comes over to this country running for his life and before he can even take a breath he's telling us how to run the show." Thus, juror seven's racist attitude towards other ethnic groups obstructs the course of justice as it impedes his verdict. Additionally, it is juror seven who shows us how a lack of social responsibility and care for active citizenship can obstruct justice. His suggestion that the trial is a "goddamn waste of time" exemplifies this message of civic and social responsibility which Rose's play primarily advocates. His self-interest is depicted as dangerous and having the potential to undermine the entire judicial system. Therefore, Rose suggests that if the jury room was full of juror sevens, justice could not be achieved. Likewise, past experience also works to create personal bias in individuals. Juror three's relationship with his own twenty year old son has caused him to be "the kid's executioner" as he seeks to punish the defendant so as to in a way punish his own son and make up for his shortcomings. His inability to see past his own pain and hatred allows his views to become skewed and as a result he is unable to make a rational decision about the case. Subsequently, he can be seen as another example of how the jury system can be undermined by one's prejudice and racism if left unchallenged. Hence, through characters who hold a degree of prejudice, Rose reveals the potentiality for injustice to prevail as a result of an ineffective jury.

On the other hand, Rose's play also shows the beauty of the jury system in how a wide variety of personalities and perspectives can combine with open discussion to produce startling results. Juror eleven, a man who has experienced life without democracy, is an advocate of the American democratic system. He reminds other members of the jury that the "remarkable thing about democracy" is that they "decide on the guilt or innocence of a man they have never heard of before. They have nothing to gain or lose by their verdict" and that "this is one of the reasons they are strong". Thus, through juror eleven, Rose highlights the vigorous aspects of the jury system and how it must be appreciated as it is a cornerstone of the American democracy, a message further engrained by the use of juror eleven's outsider perspective. Reginald Rose's focus in illustrating the importance of the jury system and active citizenship in democracy is further shown through the symbolism of the New York skyline outside of the jury room's window, indicating that what happens in the jury rooms will impact on wider America. Furthermore, the play shows that the jury system does not play favourites, it enables the minority just as much of a valid say as another. Consequently, it is the immigrant, the elderly and the impoverished who are the first to change their votes, indicative of their open mindedness and their ability to make a difference in this environment where everyone is equal before the eyes of the law. Therefore, the play accolades the jury system and its fairness. Additionally, it is the different backgrounds within this jury room that allows each individual to make a difference. Their personal experiences enable them to identify the weaknesses in the witness' testimony and evidence. Due to their unique pasts, they are able to "separate the facts from the fancy.

Furthermore, Rose pays tribute to the jury system in illustrating its ability to serve its purpose in administering justice as opposed to truth. Some members of the jury such as juror two claim that they believe the defendant is guilty because "nobody proved otherwise". However, this perception is immediately challenged by juror eight who is seen as the defender of democracy. He states that "nobody has to prove otherwise. The burden of proof is on the prosecution." Rose identifies this as an important feature of the American judicial system, where the defendant is considered innocent until proven guilty. The characters exemplify how reasonable doubt is an important safeguard in the jury room, while it does not completely eliminate the possibility of a guilty man going free, it is seen as a much better alternative than an innocent man being wrongly convicted. The notion of reasonable doubt is tested several times in the play and we discover that it is due to this concept that most of the jurors change their mind. It is as juror eight tells the other members "I may be trying to let a guilty man go free, I don't know. Nobody really can. But we have a reasonable doubt, and that's something that's very valuable in our system. No jury can claim a man guilty unless it's sure." Accordingly, the ultimate message which the play portrays is that the jury system is the most effective way of achieving justice in the American judicial system, assuming that the people who represent it are upholding their social and civic duties.

Throughout the play, Rose explores the context of the use of the jury system within the American judicial system as a whole. Through use of symbolism and a wide plethora of characters from varying backgrounds, Rose is able to present to us the shortcomings and benefits of the jury system. Although Rose presents to us the potentiality for injustice to prevail due to the jurors’ inability to carry out their role in an appropriate manner, he is much more focused on the idea that the jury system will always deliver a just result if the individuals who represent it carry out their role as they are meant to. Rose ultimately demonstrates that the ability for a reliable and fair method of justice, trial by peers or better known as trial by jury is, “the remarkable thing about democracy”.


Title: Re: English Work Examples Directory
Post by: VivaTequila on July 17, 2012, 10:38:42 pm
Today I was tutoring a student in Year 11 doing 1/2 English, and he was battling to understand how to write a speech. I whipped this plan up for him today, admittedly so he could copy a lot of it, but also so that he could learn the technique to presenting an argument and persuading his audience. I thought I'd share it here so that others who are struggling to get a super-clear idea of what the task is with an oral-presentation can get an idea.

It's nothing amazing - just a simple argument with a simple ideas, but I think that if anyone followed this guide they could score good marks simply on having accomplished the task. It isn't perfect on the grounds that it doesn't involve highly complex ideas, but I made this to be accessible to everyone, and I think I've done that fairly well.

The topic is Bullying. Let's hope this attachment works.

I would recommend this to anyone who is beginning to learn how to write an oral presentation or persuasive speech of some description but needs guidance or ideas on ways to go about it.

To Shinny/Mod: Perhaps put this in a Misc section on the OP? This doesn't fit into any of the categories, but should nonetheless be a part of this thread.

Edit: There are probably some grammatical mistakes (I whipped this up in about 10minutes) so ignore them and just try to appreciate what it's saying.
Title: Re: English Work Examples Directory
Post by: nisha on August 10, 2012, 05:59:00 pm
Wrote this up for Context-Identity and Belonging. Subtle use of Growing up Asian in Australia and Skin.

Maintaining one’s own identity is more important than belonging to a group
She glared at me back. I continued to glare, unchanged by her apparent hostility. Her eyes were blue, with a curious shade of amber that shaded itself across, almost like the sun shining through the depths of the blue seas. But they were not eyes of warmth, but eyes of the icy waters beneath. She was uneasy, clearly as her posture was perpendicular to the polyvinyl of the table tops, arms a forest of hairs splayed out as if to threaten any mosquitos that might bear their wrath. Her face, however was a peculiar sight: occupied with tanned spot almost as if she were the contrast of the night sky in which the stars, glittered. She had the ears of an elephant, large and round-like curiously unlike any human being. On the edges of her pick rims, you could detect a small wrinkle as if her body had given up and already started to age. She was something different, and yet I wanted to get to know her, how she thinks, and her character.  However her eyes, sharp as cut glass sliced my hopes indefinitely.

He was one of them. And she would never want one of them again. He hung out with them, and enjoyed their company. She had tasted a sour cherry and didn’t want to have anything to do with another. And the most irritating thing was he thought this was a game. This staring act that she was playing was an act to push him away, but later she would realise her mistake and flay her arms around his chest, chanting the repetition of her mistake towards him. As if she was playing hide and seek, but decided she neither wanted to hide nor be the seeker. He had a different demeanour as well, different from the sour cherry she had previously loved. He was not charismatic or courageous, possessed no confidence, yet asserted his position in almost any class discussion or peer conversation. He was a taciturn teenager, with warm brown eyes as if softened to her sight and melting of chocolate. His face was deep tan, yet lighter than the afro of curls, in which any insect would find it hard to escape. He smelt of pure vanilla essence as if tempting her decision to overturn her obvious unfriendliness.  However, when looked upon he seemed to be a mirror of two sorts, saying one thing and thinking another. It was hard to differentiate the two, as they seemed the same, yet her instincts told her otherwise. She had been incredibly hurt before, torn apart from heart and from soul. Such an experience, teaches the individual to be careful, and to never give themselves over, yet again, yet ever.

She narrowed her eyes, as if examining him and thinking over his appearance. Who could resist him? She was something, her features, in almost every light opposed each other, almost the same as his ongoing battle between what he thought and what he retorts back. He saw a piece of himself in her, she was someone he could understand, and somewhere he could feel comfortable. They could talk for hours on end, for absolutely nothing and yet feel an inextricable buzz, static between them. She thought, it a tension of a hate-love relationship, but he saw it in a very different light where he could call her his home. She was where he could lay his head, from the searching or the torment of his racing thoughts. Someone to hear your incoming breath, and marvel as it goes out. He’s known her for years, and yet never did. She gave him something; he was attracted to her aggressiveness, her untimely red cheeks and the sleekness of her black hair. And yet he did not know what, yet he did not want to disappoint her, he wanted to be the pillow in which she laid her worries and dramas. And yet, he had no idea what she was thinking.

She had been through this before. Trusting someone who appeared to care. She didn’t need someone like that. She didn’t want someone like that. And she had no more strength left, she wasn’t going to die hard trying, no, she was going to preserve her dear heart, which had been stabbed before. She didn’t care if he loved, she had nothing left, was completely drained. Nothing to give and she had no interest in taking. She knew him, and yet hardly did. She knew his moods, his swings, but she was not prepared for this feeling that he gave her. She had no interest. In her own mind, from picking herself up from the whirlpools of doubt and anguish, all she had was herself. Her identity remained her own. She was a single soldier battling on towards exams and the pile of preferences to be sent out. She belonged to herself and didn’t need anyone to add to that. She did her work quietly and without disturbing others, always taking advantage of the solitary clause in group tasks. She required no one, and needn’t, as she had been kicked to the dirt before. She wasn’t going to try again. She wished that cherry would die and burn in hell.

Her hostility softened, and she stood up, forfeiting their perceived game. She rose with determination, as if she had come to her necessary conclusion.

“Leave me alone. I don’t want anybody, and I don’t need anybody. I am perfectly fine by myself and I don’t like you. We are both two very different people, leading different lives. Lets continue that way, in our different directions”

She turned to walk away, oblivious to the distraught plastered on his face. Who knows if that was just an act to trap her guilt? Who knows if he was really feeling that? These thoughts gave her comfort as she marched ahead.

“You’ve learnt a lot Mariam. You’re hurting me, like he did. What’s the difference between the both of you?” his wavering voice escalated into the coldness and penetrated her icy waters.

She turned around abruptly, almost hit by the intensity of his words. Tears welled up in her eyes, as she made a fist in her hand, controlling her emotions.

“You don’t know the first thing, the first thing about what happened. You have no f**king idea, okay? Don’t judge me on what’s happening now, based on anything else. I don’t like you Sam, I just can’t. I don’t have the strength to rely on someone anymore. You don’t know what that is like. I just cannot do it. I have myself and that’s all I need. I’m sorry, but I cannot go out with you” her voice trembled as she spoke hiding the intense despair she felt inside. She knew how it felt to be received by such a manner. She forced the words out, as if ordering them to play an act, ordering herself to instead of being the watcher of the play, instead to be an actress.

She turned away, and did not look at him. She did not want to see him, or anyone that would give her a second glance again.
She wanted to be left alone, deep and dark inside her own tunnel, her own box of her own miseries.

“Can we still be friends?” he called out.

“Leave me alone” she retorted

“If you keep thinking about it, you’re never going to move on, you are never going to feel like you belong” he tried, desperately

“Sam, always remember one thing, you will always have yourself, only yourself. If you are not happy in your own company, how do you expect others to? I only belong to myself and need only myself; I am not relying on the affections of others or their praise. I will move on when I’m ready” she muttered, trying to control her tone as she spoke her heart.
She turned from him now, hopefully for the last time, in which the silence crushed her thoughts and emotions as she focused purely on the crunching of the snow beneath her feet.

“Hey Mariam, take care of yourself” he shouted back, as his last, pathetic attempt.

She whipped around, amazed at herself. She stared the warmth of his eyes once again. It was not how he said it that mattered to her, but what in which was said. It was almost as if a mirror had been cast between her and him, reflections that first appeared dissimilar, but gradually morphed into one appearance. That was exactly the same words she had once said to the one she loved, the one she had once dreamed of. She became terrified that she saw a small part of herself in him.
Her eyes relaxed, almost to the raining sunlight into the blue sea. She smiled, not of uncertainty or sadness or anything hidden. Her smile was of understanding.

They stood there gazing at each other, even after their hair matted and their school uniforms soaked, and as their eyelashes beared the weight of water. They didn’t know want they saw in each other, or what they wanted to see.

She let a smile drift across her face again. It had been a long time she had smiled, or felt anything positive. Maybe this was the first step of many, she didn’t know. This time she turned and walked away without feeling any emotion at all,  leaving his reflection in the distance and listened to her breath as it moved in and out, and the cloud of cold air it made in front of her almost as the smoky path of recovery.
Title: Re: English Work Examples Directory
Post by: Fluttershy on August 22, 2012, 08:24:14 am
Human impact on landscape is always fleeting.

Statement of Intention

In this creative essay I seek to explore the idea that the links and effects that people develop and force upon landscapes are ultimately short-lived. In order to more directly appeal to my intended audience of Year 12 students, a formal and sophisticated writing style will be utilized. This piece falls under the Context of the Imaginative Landscape as it discusses the effects that people may have on particular environments, both physical and metaphysical.

Essay

The old man had just risen from his deathbed. Exiting the darkened, quiet room to limp slowly to his old rocking chair on the front porch, the scene opened up to a vista of sweeping, jagged cliffs, the rocks careening down to the tempestuous grey sea below. The scent of sea spray filled the air and the biting, cold wind elicited a shudder through even this hardened, wizened fisherman’s body as he eased himself into a sitting position. He knew that no true man of Cape Breton died in the comfort and safety of a warm luxurious bed, and he would not be the first to break that trend.

As he breathed in the fresh, salty air, the man was instantly transported back to the days of his childhood, destined for a life of fishing before he could even talk. But though he may have been hindered in communication, he had nevertheless struck himself a place in Cape Breton and in the wild society of miners, fishermen and farmers. He recalled watching the fishermen unloading their hauls of glistening, squirming fish onto the cobblestones of the wharf, a practice that had continued since the first settlement of this windswept island, and knowing that like his father and his father before him, he would one day be trawling the depths of the ocean with them. He remembered the first time that he had heard the wild and sometimes frightening tales that his grandfather had whispered into his ear on that night of the great storm, as black clouds hung overhead and lightning sparked through the dark sky. He still remembered the stories, word for word, keeping alive the tenuous link between his ancestors and the rugged landscape of Nova Scotia. Knowing that he would keep such memories until the moment his heart finally betrayed him, he sat back, momentarily relieved, gazing out at the foam-capped waves battering the unyielding cliffs below.

And then adulthood had come, brilliant in its promises of adventure and excitement, and the man had grasped his life ahead with eagerness. Now he recalled the days where his own life seemed sure to be lost, and the grief when his friends and crew members had perished instead. He recalled the hot summer days where the sun gazed down into clear, still waters teeming with fish, and the long winters where snow whipped about their faces in violent gusts as waves of black, seething water towered over them. At last, he had experienced the true nature of Cape Breton, astounding in its glory. He had formed a true connection with the world he lived in and depended on through his experiences, memories and emotions that could never be broken. But things had changed. Now the ages-old tradition of fishing had been cruelly broken by the commercial trawlers and their automated nets and machines. They had plundered the treasures of the sea, leaving nothing but filth and litter in their wake, and now it seemed as if this place would never be the same again.

With a sense of finality, the man stood and slowly made his way down to the edge of the rockface, leaning down to make out the rocks below for the very last time. Eventually, he considered, eventually we all cannot escape Death. One day, the world will finally be free from us, the human race. And at that moment, no matter how far into the future, there will be no more trawlers, no more memories, mo more stories. One day the tallest buildings will crumble and the ever-present, patient force of Nature will step forth and stretch out her wide hands. And it will be as if we had never existed. All our works of art, scientific reports, philosophies, love- they will be dust in the wind, and Cape Breton will be free once more. He allowed himself a small smile as he thought. And maybe this is what the world needs, he concluded. A short break from humanity. Just as the words passed through his mind, he felt a small shudder, deep in his heart, and knew that he was no longer breathing. And then the long, twisting fall, his eyes wide towards the stony sky as the impact pushed all the air from his lungs. His last thought, before the hungry, dark sea took him in its embraces, was the knowledge that we would all, in time, be swallowed by nature.

They found him later that morning, as gulls circled his shriveled, frozen body on the stony beach. Identified and placed into a Cape Breton morgue, cause of death was later attributed to drowning rather than cardiac arrest. But what caught the coroner’s attention was not the water in his lungs or his failed heart; it was the peaceful, contented smile on his face.
Title: Re: English Work Examples Directory
Post by: VivaTequila on September 15, 2012, 08:43:41 pm
I really liked one of the forumites essays', and I've decided to link it here.

Section A: On the Waterfront
Prompt: On The Waterfront reveals the powerlessness of the individual against a corrupt ruling group.

Written by casettekid.

If anyone could give me any tips on this essay it would be great! I know it's quite scrappy but I attempted to write this piece to time. :)

On The Waterfront reveals the powerlessness of the individual against a corrupt ruling group.



“You know this city’s full of hawks?” Elia Kazan’s On The Waterfront discusses how corruption and greed is always prevalent within society.  The 1954 film follows the story of Terry Malloy, a man trapped between his loyalty to his conscience and the mob run by Johnny Friendly. The film illustrates how many characters attempt to seek justice and freedom from the corrupt union with differing results. The characters of Joey Doyle and Dugan both attempt to stop Johnny Friendly’s hold over the waterfront but ultimately are unable to make a change alone. Kazan illustrates that it is only when a group of individuals unite together change can be made in a corrupt society. However, the ambiguity of the final shot of the film alongside the references to corrupt outside of the constrained city of Hoboken highlight Kazan’s belief that injustice and tyrannical leadership is everpresent within society.



Kazan’s depiction of Joey Doyle highlights how solitary action against a gang will ultimately fail. Joey is depicted as somewhat powerful at the beginning of the scene evidenced through the use of a low angle shot. While Kazan here highlights that Joey’s choice to talk to the Crime Commission is noble and brave; this idea of Joey’s as powerful is quickly subverted as the camera pans up towards Truck and Tullio on the rooftop. Regardless of Joey’s actions in attempting to reveal the restrictive and oppressive life on the waterfront his death highlights how one individual cannot stop the actions of a large group. The ominous music used during his death along with the joke made by Truck “he could sing but he couldn’t fly” highlights how Johnny Friendly’s gang had no difficulty in ensuring their power over the city by killing Joey. Clearly, Kazan illustrates that no matter how noble an intention may be, a singular person cannot defeat a a group of oppressive and greedy leaders. 



Both Fr Barry and Dugan work together to advocate against the exploitation of longshoremen by Johnny Friendly. Fr Barry promises to work alongside Dugan to bring down the dominant group run by Johnny Friendly. Dugan makes the choice to speak out to the Crime Commission shown as the mob claim “he done all the talk.. thirty-nine pages of our operation.” While Dugan does succeed in talking to the Commission, his actions don’t reflect any change within the wharf as all the workers choose to remain “D and D.” Kazan highlights the murder of Dugan to illustrate how the alliance between both Fr Barry and Dugan fails to stop Johnny Friendly. However, Dugan’s death does effect Terry as he begins to question whether it is right to “do it to him before he does it to you.” The union is still presented as in power through the shot of fruit being thrown onto Fr Barry in the hold as he claims anyone who keeps “silent about something.. shares the guilt of it.” However, Terry’s action in attacking Truck and claiming “let him finish” illustrates how the actions of a minority can affect the perceptions of others. Overall, the actions of Dugan do not result in Friendly’s downfall but they do have a direct influence over Terry as he chooses to stand alongside Fr Barry and against the powerful gang.



Terry is supported by both Edie and Fr Barry in his choice to testify against Friendly and his gang of lackeys. Terry chooses to “fight” Friendly in the courtroom is shown to not have a clear effect on the inequality on the docks. Kazan uses the culling of the pigeons by Tommy “a pigeon for a pigeon” to emphasise how Terry’s individual voice made no difference to the oppression of the longshoremen as the choose to remain “deaf and dumb” out of self preservation. Terry, even after testifying is presented in a corrupt society through the long shots of him isolated from the mass of workers behind him. It is only when Terry arrives down at the docks and is severely beaten do the workers begin to support Terry’s revolt against the union. Kazan uses the shot of Terry walking towards the pier to highlight that how his actions are influencing the longshoremen to abandon the ruling of Friendly. The shots of the crowd following Terry highlight how that a large group can fight against tyranny and corruption. Overall, Terry’s actions do influence the longshoremen and motivate them to fight for power against Johnny Friendly’s gang.



The referencing to the character of Mr Upstairs and the depiction of the final shot in the film help to argue that corrupt leaders will always remain prevalent within society. Kazan uses the minor character of Mr Upstairs numerous times during the film. At the beginning of the film, one of Johnny’s workers tells Terry that Friendly “got a call from Mr Upstairs. Something’s gone wrong. He’s pretty hot.” Kazan utilises the character of Mr Upstairs to highlight that even Friendly, the leader of the union has a boss he must report to. Kazan presents Mr Upstairs during the trial to illustrate how far reaching corruption is within society. Mr Upstair’s face is never shown and he is surrounded by luxurious furniture. Mr Upstairs is presented as Friendly’s boss as he claims “If Mr Friendly calls, I’m out..” Kazan, by not revealing Mr Upstairs’ face, argues that corruption will never be removed since it is so widespread throughout society. This is reiterated at the final shot of the film as Terry leads the workers into darkness where the roller doors begin to close. The ominous music along with the characters walking into darkness doesn’t reflect a world rid of oppression but instead leaves the audience questioning whether Terry has succeeded in defeating the oppressive ruling group. Kazan ultimately through the characterisation of Mr Upstairs and the final shot of the film argues that if one tyrannical leader is removed, other gangs and greedy leaders will still remain in society.



Overall, Kazan uses various techniques to highlight how the actions of individuals cannot defeat a ruling group. Both Joey and Dugan fail in defeating the mob leader Johnny Friendly and are ultimately presented as powerless. However, Terry the protagonist, is influenced by both Joey and Dugan’s attempt to remove the subjugation of the longshoremen. Terry’s actions in testifying to the crime commission ultimately leave him isolated until he chooses to once again stand up against Friendly. Terry, with the support of others leads the members of the waterfront to a world not dominated by Johnny Friendly and his gang. However, the incorporation of Mr Upstairs along with the final shot of film ultimately argues Kazan’s belief that a while a ruling group can be removed, another one will replace it. Therefore evidently, Kazan argues that all individuals are powerless against corrupt organisations.
Title: Re: English Guides, Sample Pieces, Tips and Resources
Post by: VivaTequila on October 04, 2012, 09:28:59 pm
Melbourne University Student Welfare Outreach Team (SWOT) 2011/12 English Notes attached. Very good Language Analysis section.
Title: Re: English Work Examples Directory
Post by: werdna on October 31, 2012, 07:24:16 pm
Interpreter of Maladies, Jhumpa Lahiri - 29/30 in a SAC

Topic: 'In the collection Interpreter of Maladies, silences and actions reveal as much about characters' feelings and intentions as the words they use to communicate with others. Discuss.'

Jhumpa Lahiri's collection of short stories Interpreter of Maladies explores in great detail, the lives of characters who develop feelings and intentions as they undergo a number of universal, life-changing experiences. In Lahiri's stories, linguistically-created silences and actions act as an unfettered means of communication that reveal far more about characters' emotions and intentions than the words they use to converse with others. Characters' feelings and intentions – the intricacies of their human psyche – are largely conveyed by Lahiri through these indirect, non-verbal modes of communication. However, in some instances, the spoken word does have the ability to expose as much about people's emotions as words have the potential to leave a lasting impact. Thus, it is through these means of communication that Lahiri evokes the significance of strong relationships and positive minds in one's quest to overcome the trials and tribulations that life may entail.

Bouts and moments of silence can attribute various aspects of the human condition, ranging from the concealment of a secret to serving as a peacemaker in some instances. In the short story 'A Temporary Matter', for example, Lahiri explores the detrimental effects that a tragic event can impose on a relationship, as well as the marital discord and prolonged silence that ensues. For protagonists Shoba and Shukumar, the stillborn birth of their child leaves them emotionally and mentally paralysed due to their damaging mindset that “it was over”. The couple is silenced and hence the tragedy morphs itself into an all-evading force that gradually coerces them to “become experts at avoiding each other” within the estranged couple's metaphorically dark "home". The self-imposed silence that the couple experiences within their own household demonstrates not only their severe dislocation from one another, but also their true inner feelings of misery that would otherwise be indescribable through words. The hour-long blackouts - the story's central structural device - occur over the next few days and coincide with Shukumar's feelings that he and Shoba “would get through it all somehow”, and corresponds to Shoba's gradual development as an independent self and intention to reveal this fact. Towards the denouement of the story, Lahiri utilises short, terse sentence structures to illustrate the protracted silences within the relationship and the consequential lack of love in the way they interact with each other. The linguistic abruptness in that Shoba “did not thank him or compliment him” and that Shukumar “thought that [Shoba] was about to say something”, serve to convey the minimalistic communication between the couple. It is this lack of communication that manifests itself into deep, deceptive revelations that uncover the hidden mystiques of the protagonists' minds. Thus, Lahiri vividly depicts that emotions and intentions are more strongly illustrated through silence, for the extent of the stirring tumults would not be well portrayed through words.

Furthermore, Lahiri illustrates that people's actions and exertions reveal more about their true self and inner psyche than any words that they communicate. This is due to the fact that actions are a figment of the past and the present, whereas words are only a figment of what is to come. In the titular story 'Interpreter of Maladies', the characters' actions symbolise their attitudes and inclinations, and as such, readers are exposed to the deep recesses of each of their minds. 'Interpreter of Maladies', which tells the tale of the Das family touring around the Konarak Temple in India and conversing with their tour guide Mr. Kapasi, lays bare the implications behind everything people do. Narrated in the third-person-objective through the perspective of Mr. Kapasi, the story revolves around Mr. and Mrs. Das, who are “very young” and behave “like an older brother and sister, not parents”. When Mr. Das “[takes] a picture of a barefoot man” who is “emaciated”, Lahiri demonstrates the un-parentlike intentions of Mr. Das. The undernourished man embodies the life of someone living in traditional and poverty-stricken India, yet Mr. Das fails to converse or show concern for the man. Instead, his feelings of carelessness and impetuousness are undeniable and blatant, and from this action, the reader is able to see the obliviousness and neglect Mr. Das holds towards his own home country. Whilst Mr. and Mrs. Das have fallen apart in terms of their communication and love for each other, they are united in their absentmindedness in both a social and familial context. Mrs. Das, who “[walks] past her children as if they are strangers” and is “lost behind her sunglasses”, lacks concern for her family and possesses no real mother-like qualities. Mrs. Das's cavalier and inattentive attitude to life is accentuated through the spilling of her puffed rice, provoking the monkeys' attack on her son Bobby. It is through this action that Lahiri demonstrates Mrs. Das's feelings of oblivion and disregard towards both her children and her husband. As such, Lahiri demonstrates that characters in familial conflicts and expatriate experiences have underlying motivations and feelings that can sometimes be more effectively conveyed through actions rather than dialogue.

However, whilst silence and action can reveal much about people's sentiments and objectives in life, Lahiri does suggest that in some instances verbal communication does have the potential to expose just as much. Dialogue and the spoken word serve to add meaning to an action or thought. The vulnerable Mrs. Sen, the namesake in the short story 'Mrs. Sen's', is culturally displaced as she fails to effectively integrate into American society. She looks after a young boy named Eliot each day afterschool, and tells him of her deep yearning for her life back at home, in India. As the intricacies of the plot unfold, readers become aware of Mrs. Sen's desperation and longing for her homeland and cultural heritage, as she laments the words, “Everything is there [in India]”. Through these seemingly simple words, Mrs. Sen exposes her true anguish towards her new life in America and consolidates her hunger for her previous life. She, who represents a figment of traditional Indian women who trail their husbands in the hope for a better future, abides by this principle throughout the duration of the story. She constantly identifies herself as a 'professor's wife', defining herself through her husband's name and higher social status. Through these words, which she utters at key times of crisis, Mrs. Sen reveals a stark side of her emotional state; instead of possessing a self-defined identity in American culture, she goes back to this status as it is the only aspect that is forcing her to stay in America. The theme of displacement is further explored through Mrs. Sen's dialogue, whereby she states that, “Everyone, this people, too much in their world” whilst driving. Mrs. Sen despises driving – an extended metaphor – due to the effects that it has: “her knuckles pale”, “her wrists tremble” and “her English falters”. As a result of the words she uses to converse with Eliot, Mrs. Sen’s inner feelings of emotional exile and despair are fully exposed. Through her faltering English, Mrs. Sen succumbs to the pressures of driving, which are also attributed to the harsh pressures of assimilation.  As such, verbal communication does reveal as much about Mrs. Sen's feelings as silence and action, as her spoken words are heartfelt and honest. Through the careful mirroring of plots, in the sense that the basic plot of 'A Temporary Matter' is reversed in the final story 'The Third and Final Continent', Lahiri illustrates that there is often a possibility of success and an opportunity to look past such doubt and difficulties in relationships. It is through this narrative structure, and the intertwining of the stories as a collective whole, that Lahiri demonstrates that whilst it may be difficult to understand one another, verbal communication and the ability to confide in one another - the remedy - is crucial to our development. Hence, Lahiri's stories do demonstrate that verbal communication does, in some cases, disclose as much about people's intent and emotions as non-verbal communication.

Lahiri's stories strongly demonstrate the impact that communication can have on relationships, a person and a family against a demanding and unrelenting Indian culture. In her stories, silences and actions reveal more about characters' sentiments and motivations than the words they use to converse with one another. Yet, in the case of Lahiri’s stories, the words that her characters use to converse with one another can in some cases reveal as much about their feelings and motivations, for the extent of their marital discord, relationship difficulties and migration experiences warrants the need to move past and overcome such difficulties. Thus, Lahiri sends a message to readers that the human condition can bring many experiences that coerce individuals to conjure up feelings and intentions that can be exposed through silence, actions and dialogue – vividly exploring the the difficulty and challenges presented in really knowing someone.


(also see Discussion of werdna's piece in the Worked Examples Thread)
Title: Re: English Work Examples Directory
Post by: FlorianK on December 27, 2012, 10:33:22 pm
“Without connections to others there is no me”

“The quality of our connections to others and to ourselves ultimately determines the quality of our lives”.  Anthony Robbins’ statement epitomizes that both our sense of self and our sense of social integration interconnect and co-exist.  From our cultural heritage to our experience as human beings there are a plethora of situations in which we realize how the groups that help us gain a sense of social integration play an important role in the establishment of our identity. However, while Robbins depicts the importance of relationships with others, perhaps it is also possible that we can truly find ourselves despite being alienated from society. Thus, it is clear that there are multiple factors responsible in the development of a solid, fully-fledged identity.


Our sense of attachment to our family shapes who we become and how our personality develops as individuals. Our parents are our first teachers, who are at the centre of our upbringing and teach us values, attitudes and beliefs that help to define us from our conception and birth. Family expectations can either act as a burden on a child’s sense of self and abilities, or an opportunity to learn and grow. Upon reflection I can see the footprint my parents left on me. My parents’ continuous support and guidance in specific academic, social and sportive areas crafted my interests, hobbies and beliefs. In the same way as my father and my sister, I am to a great extent interested in Mathematics and Computer-science, which originates from my dad’s persistent help in both areas. Similarly my favorite sport and most loved hobby, ballroom dancing, emanates from my parents immense encouragement to try out this specific sport. Their highly regimented parenting styles shone light onto the path of self-discovery that they wanted me to take. The sense of affiliation they have given me has allowed exploring the very fabric of my uniqueness, which was inspired by their words of encouragement. Conversely, it can be through disagreement with parents’ ambitions that we can realize who we really are. Without the knowledge of who we are not how can we know who we are? In the anthology of short stories Growing Up Asian in Australia, edited by Alice Pung, this notion is exemplified in “Five Ways to Disappoint Your Vietnamese Mother”, in which the protagonist, Diana Nguyen, does not conform to her mother’s expectations of her and they clash on a personal and moral level. Diana wants to pursue her dream of an acting career while her mother has more conservative plans. It is through Diana’s rejections of her mother’s opinion of an ideal life for Diana that she is able to holistically express herself and establish a more solid identity. In particular looking at Diana’s future success in shows such as Underbelly, it is crucial that we are still able to question our parents’ prospects for our future. Thus, we can see that our relationships with our families can help us to contemplate our own purposes, capabilities and potential, whether it is through agreement or disagreement with our family’s desires.


Additionally our interaction with friends, peers and colleagues can provide us with our sense of self-definition. Groups and communities can provide security, support and acceptance in our lives. By nature, human beings are not solitary creatures; in fact we're among the most social animals on the planet, to the extent that isolation causes physical brain damage. Contributing to the social fabric can have a positive effect on our sense of self – it can enhance our self-esteem as well as our self-worth. Literary parallels enrich our understanding of this idea, for example the story “Chinese Dancing Bendigo Style” of Growing Up Asian in Australia, which evidently recreates that the identification with a group can act as a catalyst for the progress of self-discovery. The initially reserved and dejected protagonist, Joo-Inn, feels like she does not fit in anywhere surrounded by Australians until she finally meets people from the Bendigo Chinese Association. In this Association she gathers with people of the same cultural background. It is through this sense of social integration that Joo-Inn is able to be aware of her true distinctiveness and, in comparison to Diana, gain cultural pride. Similarly, my perception of an ideal me has been shaped by my commitments and relationships with others. My interactions with my friends and the people in my environment have helped me to develop a stronger sense of self and a better self-awareness. It is through this social incorporation that I am able to apprehend certain blemishes in my character and improve upon them. This is also embodied by Chuck Palahniuk with the statement “Nothing of me is original. I am the combined effort of everyone I've ever known.” Hence, it is clear that without reciprocal social actions with others we are not able to attain a holistic view of ourselves.


However, our character and uniqueness can also derive from other factors that influence our life. The affiliation we have with our family does not always depict who we are, nor is our distinctiveness always bonded to the individuals surrounding us. This notion is illustrated in the film ‘My Sister’s Keeper’, in which the independent and strong-willed character, Anna, says about herself: “Most babies are accidents. Not me. I was engineered. Born to save my sister’s life”. It is through this statement that Anna highlights that she was only born for the purpose of donating her body to her sister, which is embraced by her self-centred mother. However, although Anna is interacting solely with her family, she develops her own self-definition and rebels against the obligation her mother thinks Anna has. Thus, to avoid suffering from the same trials and tribulations, as Anna did in her youth, it is crucial that as individuals we are able to question our own role in society. The idea that we are not required to be bonded to a group or society to develop a sense of self and our own uniqueness is reflected in Growing Up Asian in Australia with the story “Towards Manhood”, in which the writer, Benjamin Law, says his mother’s uterus must have been indecisive and he is an “Asian hybrid man-child thing” in a “confused body”. Law did not feel like he belonged to his karate club nor did he feel convinced that he “bonded” with his brother. He felt that they were “just too different.”  Despite lacking a sense of social integration, he was able to identify himself as a homosexual male in a “hybrid” body. This self-actualization did not require the establishment of any connection with others. His feminine physique and homosexuality may well have been due to genetics. American politician Robert Casey's places a further emphasis on the notion that our sense of self is predetermined by natural causes and that we cannot help how we are born with the statement “From the beginning, each human embryo has its own genetic identity”. Thus, we can see that some individuals are not malleable to the influence of the connections to others and are able to develop their own idiosyncrasy and self-definition despite being socially alienated.


The society we are born into combined with our natural genetics is our identity’s starting point. At times, we are able to explore our interests and values and discover our true strengths through social integration. Nevertheless, if we consider, on the contrary to Robbins, the cases that exemplify the possibility of a process of self-discovery without relationships with others, the idea that “without connections to others there is no me” does not seem to be universally correct – a concept epitomized by Alan Rudolph with the statement “Human identity is the most fragile thing that we have, and it’s often only found in moments of truth”.
Title: Re: English Work Examples Directory
Post by: alondouek on February 04, 2013, 01:45:10 pm
Written for On The Waterfront:

On the Waterfront explores the destructive nature of community and family bonds”. Discuss.

NOTE that this essay was written to be specifically concept-based. It does not discuss the structures, features and conventions used by Kazan to the extent that would be required in an exam. However, it is a specific and high-scoring (8.5/10) response to the prompt.

Elia Kazan’s 1954 film On the Waterfront is in some ways an examination of the distortion of the classic family and community dynamics under the influence of a corrupt society. The film depicts Johnny Friendly’s association with Terry and Charley Malloy as a subversion of the role of the father figure, and demonstrates how Friendly’s corrupt society can distort a real father’s nature, shown by Pop Doyle’s division of loyalty between devotion to his own family and to the code of the waterfront. As well as this, the film examines the communal nature of the longshoremen, questioning if they can ever be free of the corruption that Friendly represents. However, the film also presents an optimistic view, establishing that some relationships, both personal and communal, can thrive despite the endemic corruption which characterises the environment.

At the commencement of the film, waterfront mob boss Johnny Friendly is established as having a quasi-paternal connection to Charley and Terry Malloy; his relationship to Terry is shown to be physical yet amiable, calling Terry “slugger”, “kid” and “our boy”. However, this relationship is soon displayed as a subversion of the regular paternal role; Friendly is shown to be violent, manipulative and a purveyor of fear and corruption on the New York waterfront. As Terry’s ethics move further away from Friendly’s, Friendly becomes more and more hostile towards him, culminating in Charley’s murder, an act of intimidation towards Terry. This series of events can be interpreted as a criticism of the destructive nature of the society that Friendly has helped create; not even those who are well entrenched as members of this society are safe from the dangers it poses.  Friendly’s mob in and of itself appears to be a subversion of the regular paradigm of community; a harsh, indifferent society where one is encouraged to “keep quiet” in an attempt to “live longer”. This is in contrast to the community in which Edie has lived; her words “shouldn’t everybody care about everybody else?” imply a completely opposite upbringing resulting from the environment she has grown up in, separate from the corruption present on the waterfront. With Charley’s murder, the subversion of the familial bond is demonstrated by Kazan to be especially destructive. Despite his otherwise good standing with Johnny Friendly, Charley is subject to Friendly’s violence simply because Terry is his “kid brother”, notwithstanding Charley’s refusal of Friendly’s orders. This indicates that the pseudo-familial ties between Friendly and the Malloys in truth mean little to Friendly; he severs all ties to them as a means of maintaining his social and economic hegemony. Charley’s murder itself is symbolic of this act of de-familiarisation, and to an extent dehumanisation; Charley, having being shot through the heart, is hung to a wall with a longshoreman’s hook, in a manner reminiscent of meat. Kazan appears to use this sequence to highlight the cycle of violence depicted throughout the film, with Terry proclaiming that he will “take it outta their skulls” after finding Charley’s corpse.

In a more direct sense, familial bonds are shown to be destructive in Charley’s continual betrayal of Terry. Terry’s impassioned speech to Charley has him state that he “could have had class... could have been a contender... could have been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what [he is]”, referencing Charley’s manipulation of Terry’s boxing career on Johnny Friendly’s behalf, his only real opportunity to break free of the waterfront and its twisted values. Although Terry and Charley are depicted as somewhat close and protective of one another, Terry’s assertion that “it was you, Charley” highlights the distortion of familial values due to Friendly’s influence upon the waterfront society.

Pop Doyle’s character is in many ways representative of the distortion of family bonds due to a life spent on the waterfront. Kazan depicts Pop Doyle’s ingrained sense of a submissive mentality as being prevalent to such an extent that his willingness to maintain the code of “D&D” supersedes his devotion to his family; this is shown through his accepting of Joey Doyle’s death, and his willingness for Edie to do the same. As a result of this, Pop Doyle’s familial relationship with his daughter is somewhat strained. At the beginning of the film, Edie represents a community separate from that of the waterfront, and hence an opportunity for change. Kazan demonstrates Pop Doyle to be the foil to this sentiment, with his innate tendency to stay D&D removing any of the opportunity for change that Edie represents. This disinclination to break from Friendly’s imposed silence appears to be a further depiction of how corruption of the waterfront community drastically impacts upon the family dynamic in that society. One may expect Pop Doyle to be heavily affected by the murder of his son, Joey, by members of Johnny Friendly’s gang. However, Pop Doyle responds to this in a quiet, accepting way, going so far as to tell a woman who raises criticism against Friendly’s brutal methods of intimidation to “shut up”, for fear of reprisal by Friendly’s goons. This further demonstrates his deep-seated submission to the corruption of the waterfront society. As well as this, the distortion of family bonds as a result of the mire of corruption that is the New York waterfront of the 1950s is distinctly clear in Pop Doyle’s reaction to Joey’s murder; he is placed somewhat in conflict with Edie and her wish to understand “who’d want to kill Joey?”, while he out of a sense of misguided protectiveness wishes for her to “keep quiet”, so that she may “live longer”. With this contrast, it is obvious that Pop Doyle does in fact experience some internal conflict between his willingness to protect his family and his inherent urge to maintain D&D; eventually, his fear of Friendly’s mob forces him to remain “deaf and dumb”.

On a communal level, Pop Doyle’s reluctance to break from the mob code represents a perverted form of loyalty to those with power in the waterfront society, a sentiment clearly present throughout the longshoreman community. Despite a degree of cynicism amongst the longshoremen about the corruption which riddles their lives, referring to “Johnny Friendly, the ‘great labour leader’”, the majority of the longshoremen are intimidated into bleak acceptance of the presence of Friendly’s gang. Few are the longshoremen who actively stand against Friendly, such as K.O. Dugan, and they are dealt with in a brutal manner. The longshoremen’s communal bonds are depicted by Kazan as being especially destructive, their hopes and aspirations are crushed by the ubiquitous greed of Friendly’s mob. This is demonstrated by Kazan in a show of grim irony, where K.O. “wonders when [he will] get a boat... with good Irish whiskey on it”, and is told that he is “dreaming again”; K.O. is later murdered when Friendly’s goons drop a “sling” of Irish whiskey on him. The distortion of communal bonds in the longshore community as a result of Friendly’s corruption is blatant here; despite K.O.’s membership in the waterfront society for what is stated to be a long time, his death is still accepted as a hazard of “ratting” by other members of the community. Moreover, the destructive nature of the communal bonds amongst the longshoremen is demonstrated at the end of the film; the longshoremen return to work, and inevitably towards further subjugation at the hands of the corrupt. The brief moment in which they declare that if “[Terry] don’t work, we don’t work” is but a fleeting moment of resistance against the ever-present corruption on the waterfront. One may take an optimistic view, regarding this resistance as the beginning of a new era for the longshoremen. However, the Kazan subtly hints towards the opposite; Friendly’s enraged cries of “I’ll be back” symbolise the omnipresence of malfeasance in the waterfront society, and the roller door slowly closing behind the longshoremen evokes a sense of entrapment – these men will never truly break free of the hold of people like Friendly.

Although Kazan primarily demonstrates in On the Waterfront that the influence of corrupt individuals and groups leads to the distortion of conventional familial and communal bonds, he also posits that the formation of new relationships and the strengthening of individual character can arise from this adversity. Terry and Edie are brought together in adversity, yet it serves only to reinforce the bond between them; as Terry becomes more open about his feeling towards being a pawn in Friendly’s schemes, he is able to receive from Edie the ‘mantle of truth’ that is Joey Doyle’s jacket. As an individual, Terry becomes more articulate as he begins to accept the value of honesty over misplaced loyalty, and thereby distances his ethics from those of Johnny Friendly. Furthermore, Father Barry’s interaction with Edie elicits for him a readiness to abandon his previous “hiding in a church” to acknowledge that the waterfront “is my church” and that the waterfront community “is [his] parish”. This realisation allows for Father Barry’s transformation from a mere preacher into one who acts upon what he preaches and is determined to improve the lives of the longshoremen. With this, Kazan presents the view that regardless of the gravity of the circumstances, individuals still have the chance to act towards change.

In what may be considered a reference to Kazan’s experiences with the House Un-American Activities Committee (HUAC) and his mixed relationship with various elements of American society after his testimony before the committee, Kazan appears to demonstrate through On the Waterfront that communal and familial relationships are susceptible to corruption by the nature of the societies in which they exist. He contends that these bonds become destructive and claim the individuality, and even the lives, of those affected. However, Kazan also insists that the individual has a degree of ability to initiate change, regardless of how dire the circumstances in which the individual exists are.

Title: Re: English Work Examples Directory
Post by: FlorianK on February 10, 2013, 04:56:48 am
Interpreter of Maladies 9.5/10 Text-Response

These stories show how difficult it is to know another person completely.’
Do you agree?

Silhouetted against the backdrop of a demanding Indian culture, Jhumpa Lahiri’s Interpreter of Maladies unveils in great detail the intricacies and hardships of knowing another person thoroughly. Lahiri depicts that lack of communication in addition to miscommunication increases the difficulty of knowing somebody else. However, Lahiri also highlights that it can be easy to know another person, through that person’s strong identification with their respective culture. Moreover, Lahiri also illustrates that by overcoming the lack of communication, which might obscure one's life, and stopping to communicate, we are able to grasp a thorough knowledge of another person. Hence, it is through these evocative short stories that we are offered a glimpse of the importance of effective communication and integration into society.

In order to know another person it is important to converse with each other and to share thoughts as well as feelings without miscommunication. In Lahiri’s Interpreter of Maladies, she makes this notion clear through the former happily married couple Shoba and Shukumar, who struggle to compensate the internalized grief that came over their lives acting as a destructive force after the stillbirth of their child. Additionally, Lahiri draws strong parallels between the couple’s lives, the setting of the short story and her linguistic style. Foremost, in order to place an emphasis on the lack of communication most of the story is description of the setting rather than dialogue. Furthermore, the linguistic abruptness in that Shoba “did not thank him or compliment him” and that Shukumar “thought that [Shoba] was about to say something”, serve to convey the minimalistic communication between the couple. In addition, Lahiri parallels their emotional separation with their physical separation as they “became experts at avoiding each other” by “spending us much time as possible on separate floors”. Additionally, to demonstrate the couple’s miscommunication, Lahiri highlights the different perceptions on Shoba’s ‘game’, from both protagonists. The presented absence of effective communication, lead into particularly Shukumar not knowing the thoughts as well as plans of Shoba and by filtering the third-person narration through Shukumar’s perspective we are with Shukumar, surprised and disillusioned by the revelation of the intentions of Shoba’s game. Lahiri therefore reinforces her thematic point about the difficulty of knowing another person well and fully. Thus, to avoid suffering from the trials and tribulation that might ensue from the misconstruction of other people’s actions, it is crucial that as individuals we are able to communicate in marriages and in life.

However, Lahiri also demonstrates that due to a strongly expressed sense of culture we are able to see and hear how another person is passably effortless. For instance, the ways in which dialogue and the spoken word serve to add meaning to an action or thought is fervently depicted in Jhumpa Lahiri’s compilation of short stories. Through the vulnerable namesake of the story “Mrs. Sen”, Lahiri is able to demonstrate that lack of integration and strong isolation can entail a preserved identity, which makes it easy to know this person through its expressions. As the intricacies of the plot unfold, Lahiri discloses Mrs. Sen’s desperation and longing for her homeland and cultural heritage to the reader, as she laments the words, “Everything is there, [in India]”. Through these seemingly simple words, Mrs. Sen exposes the true anguish she has towards her new life in America and consolidates her hunger for her previous life. While, Lahiri uses the spoken word as a tool to convey her intentions, she also uses cloth as a symbol to illustrate Mrs. Sen’s expression of identity. By always wearing a Sari with “a different pattern every day”, she is able to demonstrate her identification with India on the first view. Not only through her visual experience are we able to apprehend the imprint of her immigrant experience, but also through the Mrs. Sen’s use of language. This is exemplified by Lahiri’s equiption of the credulous and susceptible protagonist with short and abrupt sentences such as “everyone, this people, too much in their world”, which serves to highlight Mrs. Sen’s incompetence of the English Language, which makes her immigrant experience even more noticeable. Thus, as a consequence of a strong expression of ourselves through the close we wear or the words we use to converse with each other, others can easily grasp who we are.

Additionally, we are able to overcome difficulties and struggles in relationships and get to know another person, if we have the required resilience, perseverance and mutuality. In the last of the nine short stories, “The Third and Final Continent”, Lahiri illustrates the journey of the unyielding Bengali Narrator through three different countries in three different continents. It is particularly through the initial struggles of the reserved and wholesome protagonist Mala that Lahiri is able to convey the potential to achieve belonging and happiness if the diligence as well as persistence for this is present. While for the first “five nights” Mala “turned from [him] and wept”, she is able to develop from this and the couple is able to move towards a happy marriage. In those moments the narrator is unable to know Mala’s thought, because he “did to nothing console her”. However at the end of the short story the couple was “amazed … that there was ever a time that [they] were strangers”, which serves to highlight how through communication and determination the couple was able to get to know each other. Furthermore, Lahiri uses the first-person narrative perspective to let the reader share the thought of the “moment in Mrs. Croft’s parlour as the moment when the distance between Mala and [him] began to lessen”, in order to demonstrate her broader intention of illustrating the universal experience of being human. Lastly, by placing Shoba and Shukumar’s story, which relates a tale of the death of a son and the possible destruction of a marriage in the readers’ minds first, Lahiri is able to inform readers of the final story of the ways Mala and her husband could have failed as a couple and as parents. Therefore, she emphasizes their experience as achievements rather than mere norms. Thus, Lahiri is able to demonstrate the potential that even with initial struggles we are able to know another person, which is indeed “splendid”.

Whilst Lahiri does briefly mention characters, which hide their inner self or are unable to know another person. It would be remiss to neglect her core intention, because instead the short stories in Interpreter of Maladies predominantly encapsulate the characters on their way to overcome the aforementioned struggles and achieve belonging and happiness. By carefully juxtaposing the different stories of each of the characters, readers are engaged to question their own life experiences, as well as to interpret their own maladies.

Title: Re: English Work Examples Directory
Post by: Stick on November 15, 2013, 01:08:52 pm
Hey everyone, since the exams are all over now, I guess this marks the period where I'll probably be giving back to the community more than I will be taking from it. I decided to throw out all my SACs for English, but I did keep my oral presentation, and since there's only one other example available, I thought it might be of use for those new Year 12s who will be preparing for this outcome shortly.

Background information

The topic that was assigned to our English cohort was "Should the advertising of gambling be banned in Australia?" and I agreed with the prompt. We were asked to implicitly take on the persona of a key stakeholder in the issue as well, and I chose to talk from the perspective of anti-gambling campaigner Tim Costello. No props, visuals or any other additions were allowed to be used during the presentation. It roughly goes for seven minutes, as required by the criteria that we were given.

This oral presentation received full marks. I hope that you find it helpful in structuring your own oral presentation.



Let's not punt on our future

Good morning/afternoon distinguished guests from Australia’s great sporting codes. The Federal Government estimates that 25% of Australians will be affected by problem gambling each year by 2020. That’s one quarter of our children, our future, knowing no better but to throw away their lives in hope of scoring a quick buck or two. In spite of this, both Australian sport and the High Court had the audacity in March 2008 to promote the rapid expansion of gambling advertisements in our society. As a keen campaigner against gambling promotion for over 30 years, it is outrageous to see our capable country move backwards such that problem gambling, economic difficulty and match fixing needlessly inflict irreparable damage upon us. Gambling advertisements have the potential to threaten our nation’s integrity and we must stop adding more fuel to the fire immediately.

Don’t you think it is just a tad ironic that a child cannot walk into a local TAB, but can be regularly exposed to gambling at sporting venues, on television or even on public display boards? We can all agree that gambling is a service that should only be available to the adult market, yet the youngest and most vulnerable members of our community already suffer a dangerous level of exposure through their involvement in our sports. It is unfair to suggest that it is the responsibility of parents to monitor their children’s exposure when betting agencies drown out their cries of concern using all facets of the media, constituting more than 130,000 persistent advertisements each year. It is disgusting that over half of these are strategically planted to exploit naïve and accepting youngsters. Whilst writing my book about the effects of gambling, I have collaborated closely with Dr Samantha Thomas of Monash University, who in December 2011 discovered the days of studying sports statistics are long gone as children increasingly turn to gambling odds in their quest to become ‘true’ sports fans. The University of Sydney has supported this evidence, finding that the number of young people just above the age of consent presenting to their Gambling Treatment Clinic has increased from below 5% to 20% in the past five years, as they begin to gamble without any critical understanding of the risks involved. We know that sporting companies can do the right thing, as they have regulated the promotion of alcohol in sport so well. Our increasing gambling epidemic is jeopardising the Australian spirit as families turn their backs on sport, protecting their young from misunderstanding the hypocritical ‘responsible gambling’ messages promoted by gambling advertisements.

Moreover, our welfare system will be placed under additional stress than ever as international organisations dominate Australia’s betting environment and ‘normalise’ betting amongst our youth. Before the High Court’s decision was made, it was a certainty the vast majority of revenue was generated by Australian businesses, which could be taxed by the State Governments and hence redirected back into the local community. However, this possibility is currently under extreme threat as international companies hijack our television screens and billboards, raid our marketing environment and divert our wagered money to fatten the hip pockets of global juggernauts. In its 2010 Productivity Report, the Federal Government found that Australians had lost over $800 million to international gambling syndicates, of which none could be reclaimed under our current Australian Taxation Legislation. How could we have gone so wrong? As a regular commuter on public transport, I could not have helped but notice the two major gateways to Melbourne’s largest sporting venues – Southern Cross and Richmond Railway Stations – have been inundated by advertisements supporting bet365, one of the UK’s largest betting agencies run by millionaire Peter Coates. Innocent spectators and children passively absorb their invasive messages while the gambling giant selfishly increases its likelihood of obtaining a larger market share and suffocates their local counterparts. As a result of these rapacious global advertising crusades, gambling culture is usurping Australian culture like an insidious cancer preying on the vulnerable. We must not threaten our pride for preserving our national sporting integrity by letting these international organisations rob our opportunity to actively take part in family-based sporting programs.

Despite the best of intentions of Australia’s major sporting codes, the wider expansion of gambling advertisements within the sporting scene is endangering the supposedly ‘indestructible’ integrity of the national sports we love. These misleading agreements between sporting companies and betting agencies increase access to vast amounts of funding and exotic betting information, encouraging the steady establishment of match fixing in our sports. Sporting companies say that holding their businesses liable to external gambling promotions protects the game’s honour, but how can such a claim be made when they make it more tempting than ever for those working in the sports industry to manipulate the result? Corruption inflicted its initial blow on Australian sport in 2010 when NRL Canterbury player Ryan Tandy deliberately attempted to force a penalty goal on the opposing North Queensland Cowboys, after 95% of bets for the first scoring play were placed on this occurrence. The AFL was its next victim, when it revealed in 2011 that Collingwood’s Heath Shaw had placed a bet on teammate Nick Maxwell to kick the opening goal in their match against Adelaide. Later in the year, Essendon assistant coach Dean Wallis was found to have wagered $400 on AFL matches – including one involving his own team. We know a serious problem is thriving when even commentators become nothing more than breathing gambling promoters during match coverage. Pathetic bans on sporting employees placing bets have demonstrated their inadequacy when the temptation provided by gambling advertisements still lingers. We must ensure the maintenance of Australia’s sporting candour and not advance corruption’s impending domination of our competitive landscape.

Gambling advertisements are a danger to our society and must be ceased at once. Four years have passed before we have finally comprehended the deceitful illusions and debilitating implications of these betting agencies, and we must not allow such companies to continue undermining the very heart of the Australian way. A petty television ploy is not enough. I urge you all to carefully reconsider your current support for gambling advertisements, for the sake of our sports and our families, before it is too late. Thank you.



If you want some help with your oral presentation or with English in general, I'm no English freak, and you might be able to get better input from some of the others here, but I'd be able to lend a hand if you specifically want me to. Good luck. :)
Title: Re: English Work Examples Directory
Post by: Limista on December 07, 2013, 02:25:07 pm
The war is not the only concern in Owen’s poetry

In his anthology, The War Poems, Wilfred Owen uses war as a metaphor or medium to express the suffering of society in the World War One period. Specifically, he conveys his disgust for the state of the human condition at this time, where his reference to life in the trenches and “the pity war distils”, have double meanings. The sensory imagery and figurative language employed by Owen both engulf and captivate readers in the horrors of war, and enables various ‘enemies’ to be identified. At the broadest level, Owen identifies how a society bereft of greed and pride is indicative of progression, particularly in the poem “Strange Meeting”. However, he also urges readers against being whimsically swallowed by societal constructs, where the gender imbalance between women and men, denoted in “Insensibility”, apparently leads to the deconstruction of a community. “Futility”, then, serves to illustrate the extent of human corruption, such that the potency of what is real, natural and pure is undermined.

Whilst Owen uses his poetry to condemn previous poets, who falsely exacerbated romantic notions about war, with their “tearful fooling”, he also contends that violence is not the answer to earn mutual respect. In the poem, “Insensibility”, Owen praises “[what] lies calm, in braided hair”, which symbolises his adulation for the harmony, sweetness and calmness exuded by women. He suggests that countries and world leaders should interact peacefully with each other. When this reasoning is applied to our contemporary society, it holds a greater meaning – power should not be abused, and arrogance should be cautioned against. Owen leaves readers to derive the irony from this poem; that is, peace is being attained by the massacre involved in combat. According to Owen, men should then be more like women, as opposed to parading their masculinity “in kilts” to “please the giddy jilts”, as is observed in the poem “Disabled”. Similarly, the power that men desire though the expression of a macho attitude is alluded to in the poem “Strange Meeting”, where “none” wanted to “break ranks” and “vain citadels” were also referred to. Owen suggests that humans have also been corrupted to the extent where they are always “discontent” or greedy. Tying in with the desire for power, World Leaders are specifically characterised and deemed culpable for having these traits. The allegory, “The Parable of the Old Man and the Young” insinuated the perdition or damnation that is inevitable for society, if “Abraham” is not controlled.

Being characterized in a vulnerable and helpless manner, as is symbolised by “Isaac” in “The Parable of the Old Man and the Young”, Owen intends to arouse pity for soldiers. On a bigger scale, these soldiers are representatives of the sacrificial “lambs” in an indoctrinated society, whose roles are synonymous to pawns on a chessboard. Through employing emotive language and graphic imagery in “Dulce Et Decorum Est”, as is observed through the descriptions of soldiers as “guttering, choking and drowning”, readers are left to conceive the gruesome and horrific notion of humans gasping for air. This ‘under-the-sea’ imagery not only renders soldiers as being out of place in the endless expanse of the Ocean, but also suffocated readers and makes them feel uncomfortable. Owen represents the extent to which humans can be psychologically consumed in the poem, “The Dead-Beat”, where a hapless man is unaware of the clouds of dust and “Five-Nines” surrounding him. Instead, he is drowning in his own internal conflicts, thinking about his “wife getting her fun” back home. Owen, then, uses this poem to encourage readers to be compassionate towards the bitter state of the soldiers, as well as suggesting that our minds might be our own enemies. Para-rhyme or half-rhyme is used in “Strange Meeting” to a similar effect, where readers are left feeling disconcerted or dissatisfied on reading ‘Hall” and “hell”, or “moan” and “mourn”, paired consecutively. Full rhyme gives a poem a sense of wholesomeness and completeness, of which Owen’s poetry is deliberately devoid. He wants the readers to feel as the soldiers felt, and tap into the elegiac tone or despondent mood of reality in this time, where the truth was subverted, as is symbolised by the use of half-rhyme.

Even though readers are embroiled within the horrors of war through the extensive imagery in his poetry, Owen uses war as a context to protest or remonstrate against the tendency of humans to uncritically accept misconceptions in society. For instance, the poem “Strange Meeting” suggested that war is “the wildest beauty” that is worth “hunting” for. Through the distaste Owen asserts for war, particularly through the regret expressed by the alter-ego in this poem, it can be inferred that one should not simply follow or conform to society. According to Owen, war is not something that should be glorified – a notion that is propagated by myth. Humans are “blind” to the fact that war is a means of a perilous and bloody death, as is observed by the sanguine mood of the civilians who throw “white” flowers on the conscripted soldiers in “The Send-Off”. As a result, Owen suggests that it is our parochially-minded and ignorant personality that should be castigated, for we, as a society, are not vigilant or circumspect enough the question the morality and righteousness of the maxim. Holistically, this could also mean that the “toil”, pain, self-deprivation and harm endured by people in society, as alluded to in “Futility”, for magnanimous concepts, such as loyalty and patriotism, is unwarranted.

Wilfred Owen uses war as a means to elaborate on the dehumanising nature of reality, where power may be abused to the extent where nought is gained. Suffering then becomes an excuse to parade ownership of a community; the desire for power being a superficial and butter truth of human existence.

Title: Re: English Work Examples Directory
Post by: Limista on December 07, 2013, 02:33:48 pm
Reality is beyond the understanding of mere humans
I remember growing up as a child, struggling to understand why the world circulated as it did. Questioning those simple things, which I take for granted today, was a daily ritual that was zealously carried out. “Is it true that Hercules spins the Earth on his finger?” or, “Why does my shadow never leave me alone?” were some of the things I had asked my mother in the pursuit of truth and the satisfaction that comes from knowing these simple things. Society operates in a similar manner, albeit at a more complex level. As we age and mature, we seek to scientifically, or philosophically, further our understanding of certain phenomena in order to aid the progression of modernity. In the exciting chase for reality, however, we realise that “we don’t know what matter is any more than we know what mind is” according to The Paradox of Consciousness, which essentially means that our perspectives on reality are falsities as of now. As humans, we are therefore victimised by our own naivety and reality remains forever beyond the scope of our comprehension.

The complexity of reality stems from our inherent tendency as humans to use the past as a means of making sense of the present, where we ultimately discover that this is impossible, since the past can never be repeated, as alluded to in The Great Gatsby. This is observed in Michael Frayn’s Spies, where memory may be revived by the stimulation of our senses, but this does not mean that the past can be relived. As humans, we feel we can make sense of our own history through memory and we believe that our perceptions of the world and who we are, our reality, are shaped accordingly. We are, for these reasons, falsely lead to assume that the past is tangible, and thus, can be experienced identically once again. In the text, Stephen’s memory is triggered by the “harsh and course” scent of privet and is later activated by the “sounds of the passing train”. In spite of this, Stephen realises that his reminiscence does not trigger the same feelings for him now compared to when he was a child. Stephen’s ruminations are similar to that of other migrants. Those who grew up in during the war-time period and decided to visit their homeland after the war-time period to relive their past may find that their birthplace is very different to what it originally was. Apart from the physically changed features that the person may encounter, such as increasing architecture or stronger economy, it should be acknowledged that the person himself would have aged and matured and so reinterpretation of the past is greatly influenced by these intervening factors. Hence, one’s desire to repeat the past for what it was becomes a virtual reality. On returning to Privet Drive in London 50 years after leaving it, Stephen does not try to relive his past, but he tries to understand it and come to terms with the traumatic experience of Uncle Peter’s death. The fact that Stephen only tries to understand his past, as opposed to reliving it, shows that the past cannot be relived. Some may argue that our understanding of reality may thus be inhibited, because we cannot view things from the perspective we viewed them from when we were younger; we are not able to empathise with the same degree of emotions. Others may argue that this omniscient perspective works to our favour, because we can observe reality in an unbiased and mature way.

On the other hand, humans may have a very sophisticated understanding of reality due to the sanity of the majority of people in society today. The fact that we are able to remain lucid underscores the notion of doublethink appealed to in George Orwell’s Nineteen Eighty-Four, where it is referred to as the power of holding two contradictory beliefs in one’s mind simultaneously, and accepting both of them. The Party intellectual, for instance, knows in which direction his memories must be altered; he therefore knows that he is playing tricks with reality; but by the exercise of doublethink, he also satisfies himself that reality is not violated. The process has to be conscious, or it would not be carried out with sufficient precision, but it also has to be unconscious, or it would bring with it a feeling of falsity and hence of guilt. As humans, we know that doublethink is indispensably necessary, as we recognize that we are telling deliberate lies while genuinely believing in them and we are forgetting facts that have become inconvenient, purposely detracting from the objectiveness of reality. Furthermore, once we recognise that we are tampering with reality in this manner, we use a fresh act of doublethink to erase this knowledge, keeping the lie one leap ahead of the truth for “the greater good” according to John Green. The thought of us exercising doublethink in this manner shows the extent to which society has evolved; we prefer to conform instead of speak out. Similarly, Michael Frayn’s Spies acknowledges that an alternative aspect of reality cannot always be acknowledged, as it brings one back to a complex veracity in which discomfort is experienced, observed through Stephen Wheatley’s conscious denial of the man in the Barns who was “entirely English”. Stephen preferred to stay in his fictitious world and believe that the man was German. In this case, Stephen is the intellectual who knows in which direction his memories must be altered, he therefore knows that he is playing tricks with reality, but by the exercise of doublethink he also satisfies himself that reality is not violated.

It is the very depth or intricacy of the supposedly unattainable ‘reality’ that makes the chase all the more enjoyable. Philosophers such as Sigmund Freud attempt to psychologically and metaphysically define reality in terms of the id, ego and superego, suggesting that the mind plays a potent and prominent role in understanding human behaviour, which in turn is a determinant of reality. This suggests that as humans, we create our own individual realities, since every mind functions in a different way. On the contrary, scientists such as Marie Curie and Albert Einstein have attempted to logically define why things in society work in a specific manner, by establishing and reaffirming hypotheses, and making new inferences. It is in this way that attitudes are shaped and formed, according to the Tri-component Model. Whether the attitude is implicit or explicit determines behaviour, which then determines reality. In our attempt to philosophically and logically fill in the blanks of reality, we may realise that there is too much we are uncertain about, such as who was actually responsible for a crime or what was actually happening in an adrenaline-triggered event – something which is alluded to in Blink by Malcolm Gladwell. Therefore, we must come to terms with the fact that reality is inevitably out of our grasp. The younger Stephen Wheatley, in Frayn’s Spies, was not altogether aware of Mrs Hayward’s affair with her sister’s husband. Whilst part of him suspected mischievous activity, he did not openly bring it into the light and question it. Nevertheless, the younger Stephen does arguably have some handle over reality. As the consequences of his and Keith’s espionage become more and more real, he comes to dimly understand that things are not as they seem and “the very things that seemed so simple and straightforward then are not simple and straightforward at all, but infinitely more complex and painful”.

While our understandings of reality may be misconceptions or distorted in some way, it can be confidently asserted that our grappling with reality as a society can push us forward. In hindsight, I had initially wrongly understood my mother’s answer to the reason for my persevering shadow: I thought my shadow would not stop following me as I was cursed by Cinderella’s Stepmother. Similarly, I stubbornly refused to believe that Santa Clause did not exist, and to this very day, I harbour suspicions about him hiding in an Igloo in the North Pole. Who knows? Perhaps he does.

Title: Re: English Work Examples Directory
Post by: Limista on December 07, 2013, 02:39:21 pm
Please Note: This speech had a time limit of 4 minutes. Our English cohort was not allowed to exceed this time limit.

That euthanasia should be legalised in Australia
 We are all going to die. When, how and whether or not we will ask to have our life cut short by euthanasia is uncertain. Naturally, we would like to pass away peacefully, whilst asleep. However, if one faces reality then one will realize that not everyone will be lucky enough to have this fate.  Hence, euthanasia should be legalised in Australia.

Good morning Mr -, Mr - and class.
Today I will persuade you that it is human right to legalize euthanasia – particularly in a democratic country, where the majority of Australians vouch for euthanasia in 2013.

Despite this, I would like to reaffirm that the complexity of this issue enables opposing arguments to arise, from the standpoint that euthanasia should not be legalised.

A prominent one is that God determines when an individual should die, which can be extended to suggest that by committing euthanasia, people are essentially playing God. However, these religious values that bring a source of comfort to several church-goers and priests should not be an imposition or infiltration on the mentality of other people.

It can also be argued that euthanasia victims do not know where to draw the line, when it comes to determining how sick they are; when it comes to making the life-ending decision. For example, a paraplegic may have to deal with a change in lifestyle, but because of this undesirable change, should they choose to end their life?

This grey area leads me into my first argument – that choosing the time of death is a human right, as suggested likewise by The Independent newspaper in March 2002. Specifically, doing so depends on following a set of official criteria. These criteria should be in line with strict Australian laws and mean that the person is less reliant on their mental faculties. Such criteria is absent, as of now, in Australian society. If a checklist consisting of requirements, such as being mentally stable and that the condition must be life-threatening, was to be established before going through with euthanasia, the insecurity associated with committing this taboo act would be eased somewhat. Being a democratic society, furthermore, we’ve never told people not to smoke, even though we’ve banned smoking in certain buildings and restaurants – so why do we ban people from taking their own lives? Simply because euthanasia is an ethically complex issue, many of its concerns would be null after establishing a solid set of criteria as powerful as the Hippocratic Oath.

Secondly, voluntary euthanasia is supported by over 70% of Australians, according to campaigner Cath Morrison. Just because the majority of people, as advertised through Fairfax media, think something, it does not mean that it is right. In the middle ages, people believed it to be fact that the Earth was flat. Our understanding of euthanasia, on the other hand, is a product of subjective consideration. Deep thought has been associated with this topic in the 21st century, from the input of World famous philosopher Peter Singer to the input of the Australian Medical Student Journal. Because I have full trust in the public intellectuals of today, I can confidently say that I side with this majority, as they clearly have reasons for advocating euthanasia.

In summary, we should move with the waves of our secular society and look at euthanasia from a practical viewpoint. We have the right to determine how we would like to end our lives.
Title: Re: English Work Examples Directory
Post by: shaiga95 on March 07, 2014, 01:27:50 pm
Topic “We can enjoy Falstaff, but we can’t admire him” 

    In response to Falstaff’s inquiry regarding the time of day, in Shakespeare’s 1 Henry IV, Prince Halresponds, “I see no reason why thou should be as superfluous to demand the time of day.” Prince Hal’s description of Falstaff as “so fat-witted with drinking of old sack and unbuttoning thee after supper, and sleeping upon benches afternoon.”, is a wholly accurate description of his tavern companion. Yet Falstaff is so much more than the words contained in Hal’s description of him. Falstaff’s nature is unified of paradoxical opposites which is the primary source of his amusing nature in the play. At times it is difficult to admire Falstaff when he assumes the role of a parasite, yet we cannot resist the enjoyment provided by Falstaff’s vast salutary criticisms of the world of war and policy. We can enjoy Falstaff’s self depreciating remarks, and may indeed despise his hedonistic nature, yet at the same time how can we not admire Falstaff’s ability to behave with the gaiety of youth, intellectual legerity, and latent agility in the play. Whether or not we admire o rcondemn, enjoy or dislike Falstaff depends upon the time at which we make an assessment on his character, as in every scene the audience is treated with a glimpse of Shakespeare’s greatest creation in 1Henry IV, who at times threatens to almost run away with the play.  
   
   Shakespeare’s use of doubling primes the audience to contrast Falstaff with King Henry IV , who areboth the main paternal role models for the young Prince Hal. In this sense Falstaff plays a much greater role than just being a tavern jester, as he is instrumental in the construction of a complex web of political views expressed by the playwright in his play. Shakespeare utilises both King Henry IV and Falstaff as instruments to criticise various political approaches, beliefs ideals and values. Both King Henry and Falstaff, struggle throughout the play. King Henry struggles to silence civil disobedience, whilst Falstaff struggles to maintain the corporation of Sir John. Further parallels can be seen between King Henry IV and Falstaff in the sense that, both fight no longer than they see reason. Falstaff just like King Henry is neither brave nor cowardly, neither truthful nor a liars such moral distinctions are not pertinent to these characters. Wit is Falstaff’s primary instruments a closely allied form of intellectual ingenuity, craft is Henry’s. Furthermore Falstaff’s banishment ofhonour from his scale of values is no less than Henry’s oblivion of it to his. When we admire or enjoy Falstaff, we must be aware of the various roles he serves in the play because due to theconglomerate composition of his character, an assessment of his character can only easily be based on a particular event or scene in the play.  
   
    There are many reasons and numerous attributes that lead the audience to scorn the character of Falstaff, and to even despise him at times. Falstaff can be viewed as a “Vice figure”, an Elizabethan audience would recognise in Falstaff the familiar vice qualities of gluttony, idleness and lechery. Throughout Shakespeare’s history Falstaff is referred to in morality-idioms as a “great iniquity”, “father ruffian”, “vanity in years”, the “abominable villainous misleaoder of youth” , and the “old white bearded satan.” Additionally Falstaff is a thief, coward, boaster, he is always ready to cheat the weak, to prey upon the poor, to terrify the timorous and insult the defenceless. Falstaff’sparticipation in the Gads Hill robbery, leaves no doubt for the audience concerning his status as thief, furthermore Falstaff claims to have lost a “seal ring of my grandfathers worth forty marks”, in an attempt to receive payment from the hostess of the tavern, Mistress Quickly. Falstaff views robbery as his “vocation”, and attempts to justify his criminal activity describing himself as a “gentleman of the shade”, “minion of the moon” and one of “Diana’s foresters.” Falstaff’s thieving isalmost as prevalent as his corpulence which the audience is constantly reminded of. Poins one of the tavern cohort members refers to Falstaff as “Sir John Sack and Sugar”, Prince Hal also refers to Falstaff as “that cloaked bag of guts.” Although spoken during the play extempore Hal’s evaluation of Falstaff, “Wherein crafty, but in villainy? Wherein villainous but in all things, wherein worthy but in nothing”, describes a character who it would be impossible to admire. Hal’s remark shortly after in the play extempore, “Banish plump Jack and banish all the world”, is consequently foreshadowing Hal’s ultimate rejection of Falstaff. Despite the fact that there are many events that cause the audience to dislike Falstaff, there are just as many instances in the play where Falstaff provides comic relief from the often serious nature of the main plot.  
   
   The main reason that we enjoy Falstaff, can be attributed to the paradoxical nature of the components of his character. Falstaff not only fascinated audiences, but also entertained them, as a result of his possession of wit, a much prized quality during the Elizabethan era. As a consequence of Falstaff’s wit the audience in the play will often overlook his unfavourable characteristics and at times tolerate them. In the midst of the Gads Hill robbery, Prince Hal and Poins rob Falstaff and the other thieves. Falstaff remarks, “Ah whoreson caterpillars! Bacon fed knaves! They hate us youth! Down with them fleece them! Despite the fact that Falstaff’s hypocritical and humorous remarks don’t alter his status as a thief, it prevents the audience from ever viewing him as a formidable villain , contrary to what Falstaff suggests on numerous occasions. It is apparent that some of the characters were aware of the incongruence between Falstaff’s distorted self-perception and the reality of Falstaff being a “coward on principle.” Poins one of the tavern cohort, is aware of thehumorous nature of Falstaff’s conduct when he remarks, “The virtue of this jest will be”, in relation to the “incomprehensible lies.” Falstaff will tell which include the fact that “at least thirty he fought with” and the “wards, blows and extremities that he endured.” It is apparent to Prince Hal that Falstaff is lying when he suggests “Eleven buckram men grown out of two”, from his remark “these lies are like their father that begets them gross as a mountain open, palpable” Another source ofhumour in relation to Falstaff is that he is supposedly a knight as implied by the addition of  “Sir” to his name. Falstaff’s incompatibility with horses is suggested by Prince Hal’s insulting description of Falstaff as “horse-back breaker” Horsemanship is a symbol of chivalric prowess, a key theme in the play. During the Gad’s Hill robbery Falstaff robs without a horse as a rascal hath removed my horseand tied him I not know where." Falstaff's consequent "charge of foot" during the robbery marks hissignificantly unchivalric status, as well as being Hal and the audiences joke at expense. We can sometimes neither admire, scorn, enjoy or dislike Falstaff, as he is symbolic of freedom within the play, which cannot simply be admired or enjoyed.  Falstaff embodies freedom in the play which provides comic relief from the various manifestations of rebellion associated with King Henry IV. King Henry IV's situation of civil disobedience is described by him as a result of "some displeasing service I have done", namely his usurpation of the throne. King Henry IV also attributes Hal's dissolunce to his usurpation of the throne," the hot vengeance and rod of heaven to punish my mistreadings." Falstaff is oblivious to time, and his timing is often inappropriate, he is active by night, "gentlemen of the shade" and dormant by day, "sleeping uponbenches afternoon." In the midst of the Battle of Shrewsbury Falstaff is criticised for his inappropriate behaviour, the Prince remarks, "Is now a time to jest and dally" Although Falstaff embodies freedom, a stark contrast to the rebellion associations with King Henry IV, it isunsustainable freedom characterised by the "drinking of sack" and preoccupation with "bawdy houses" Falstaff's advanced age, "withered like an old apple john," and "vanity in years", just like Falstaff and his years are limited so too is the nature of freedom which is ephemeral. Prince Hal may appear to strike an appropriate balance between freedom and responsibility, in between Falstaff and King Henry IV. Although we enjoy freedom, and admire statesmanship, Shakespeare suggests it is essential that the right balance is achieved between the two concepts, which can both be enjoyedand admired as the audience experiences with Prince Hal.  
     
   In Shakespeare's history 1Henry IV,  the audience enjoys dislikes and admires or scorns Falstaff at different times during the play. At times Falstaff assumes the role of the Vice figure, whilst at other times he is entertainingly harmless. Falstaff's witty remarks are irresistibly entertaining, yet at the same time his thieving is ugly and his lying and preying upon others nothing but despicable. Falstaff is much more than a character who is simply admired or scorned, adored or disliked, as he is an essential component in Shakespeare's intricate web of parallels, contrasts and comparisons facilitated by the creation of numerous multifaceted, overwhelmingly captivating yet periodically entertaining characters. Falstaff arguably Shakespeare's greatest dramatic creation, who is symbolic of life itself, the great comedy of life is embodied in him, through his indispensable spirit of fun, the consistency of his character lies not in the congruence of one action with another, but in the wholefunction of providing mirth and merriment and a liberating irreverence. The success ofShakespeare's history can be attributed to the presence of Falstaff , the "white bearded satan," and"cloaked bag of guts" who is so much more than a comic jester permitted entrance into Shakespeare's history tetraology. 
Title: ~*Context External Examples Guide*~
Post by: literally lauren on June 11, 2014, 10:49:33 am
CONTEXT/CREATING AND PRESENTING/SECTION B
EXTERNAL EXAMPLES AND EVIDENCE

In a context piece, the sky's the limit. Seriously I wrote essays on everything from Masterchef to subterranean tectonic shifts. Nothing's off limits. Except Hitler. Refer to this for reasons.

This list will apply primarily to those writing in an expository format, but hopefully these ideas can help form the basis of a creative piece too. Certain examples will have more relevance for certain contexts as well so...
              C= Conflict
              Id&b= Identity and Belonging
              WR= Whose Reality
              IL= Imaginative Landscape


That said, most of these are general enough to be applicable to all contexts (and most prompts, for that matter) with some clever twisting and turning.

For anyone who is totally stuck with what to write about, if these ideas don't spark anything for you, try this search engine: Stumbleupon
Basically you can select any number of subjects and interests, and it will collect an assortment of websites pertaining to your chosen field. This can be bad for procrastination though, so try to keep 'interests' limited to things you could potentially write about in an exam, not cat videos etc :)

The secret strength of most context essays is in linking, if you're making sophisticated connections between solid examples and well thought out ideas, then there's little to stop you from getting full marks. So this is a repository of random things that I've used myself, ideas that have come to me since, and hopefully some of your suggestions as well.

OBVIOUS DISCLAIMER: This is by no means conclusive, and these concepts alone won't guarantee you good marks. Also, the fact that I'm posting these publicly means these ideas are available to anyone who looks, and you too will have to go beyond these if you're aiming for high marks.

Feel free to add, this is a work in progress, comment below and I'll turn this into a mega-post as the year goes by. Some of these will be more 'fleshed out' that others, but feel free to unpack them either here or on your own.

And please don't refrain from posting out of fear someone might steal your ideas. We had a lot of this stupid competitive nature at my school; yes of course you're ultimately competing against your peers, but the likelihood of you getting the same examiner is incredibly low, and you'll gain more from mutually beneficial discussion than you will hoarding away your thoughts and never sharing, articulating, or developing them. And obviously two people can go in a totally different direction with the same example. AND how you write is equally as important as what you're writing. There's no pressure to post, but please view this as a communal effort and not a list of other people's examples to 'steal'.

I've grouped these under a few general categories, but if you have something that doesn't fit under any of these umbrellas, let me know and we can expand the list.






Literature/Films/TV

C,Id&b,WR,IL: Dystopian Fiction
I absolutely love this stuff, it's one of my favourite genres. I'll just make a list here with a brief summary, check them out if any pique your interest:

C,Id&b,WR,IL: Game of Thrones
Just watch this, it explains it all (spoilers up to and including season 3, I believe)
There's also some quotes below the video that might make for interesting discussion.

C,Id&b,WR,IL: The Regeneration Trilogy by Pat Barker.
This text would really compliment a discussion of war and its victims; it centres on the WWI poets both during and after the war as they come to terms with the toll the carnage has taken on their psyche. For anyone studying War Poems for Section A, this would also make for some good contextualisation, even if it is a fictional representation.

C,WR: Pat Barker also wrote a novel called Border Crossing about child's psychology and the grey areas between guilt and innocence. I haven't read this one myself, but the wikipedia page has a good synopsis and some quotes that have palpable ties to Whose Reality.

C,WR,IL: Utopia (tv series) You all should watch this. I won't lie, it's graphic. Even if you get through the first episode, it gets darker, and yet retains this vivid lighting throughout, which somehow makes it all the more harrowing. I can't do this series justice, nor can I adequately convey just how good the season 1 twist is. I'm eagerly awaiting series 2 at the moment, but this is still one of the best adaptations I've seen. You could read the comic book versions if you're into that, but I haven't found them anywhere. It's a British series, and definitely a hard R by our standards. It's a masterpiece in storytelling, provided you don't mind a bit of gore.

C,Id&b,WR,IL: Black Mirror (tv series) Series 2 Episode 2: White Bear is probably the best starting point. Each episode is a self-contained story about the dangers of technology. Even the title is an interesting motif; the idea of powered off tv/computer/phone screens being literal 'black mirrors' for humanity to see ourselves in. White Bear has a great twist; this one's dark in a very morally twisted way. Fifteen Million Merits (s1e2) is another good episode but the rest are pretty average.

C,Id&b,WR,IL: The Perks of Being A Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky. And yes, the film is a fairly faithful adaptation so you can just watch that and then double check some quotes.
I'd recommend referring to the book rather than the film though, since English teachers are kinda partial towards "real" literature. This is quite a popular one though, so be careful not to just retell the plot in the hopes of letting the example speak for itself. Some insight into the characters' motivations and inner workings might compliment discussion.

C,Id&b,WR,IL:  Superheroes.
Quite a well-tred area for context pieces, but you could do interesting things with some lesser-known figures, or at least a slightly more in depth look at the famous ones. I won't embarrass myself by listing any since this isn't my are of expertise. Suffice it to say anyone who uses the "With great power comes great responsibility" quote: I will hunt you down. As will your assessors. Pls don't.

C,Id&b,WR: The Woman Warrior by Maxine Hong-Kingston - the most widely taught text in the United States, is basically all about migrant identity, but also the identity of a girl whose ancestors' come to define her notion of self in the present.  Definitely look into it if you want an alternate text (and there are a gazillion resources out there on this).

C,Id&b,WR: The Slap by Christos Tsiolkas is a brilliant Australian novel about identity being formed in Melbourne suburbs.  Explores notions of migrant identity, identity for white Australians in an age of "multiculturalism", and also gendered and queer identities, particularly for youths.  All sorts of stuff on the reality and absence of belonging here.

Id&b,IL: Carpentaria by Alexis Wright explores the relationship between the self and one's environment through the perspective of an Indigenous Australian.

Historical Events

C,Id&b,WR,IL: I'll get the obvious ones out of the way: WWI, WWII, Vietnam War, Cold War, Revolutions (any and all, but be aware that America, France, Russia and China are currently on the VCE History: Revolutions curriculum, so there'll be many students familiar with these) Within each example there will be individuals worth exploring, from world leaders to innocent people caught in the crossfire, and everyone in between. All of the conflict texts have clear links with certain wars, but this is still relevant to the other contexts too. Don't be afraid to look at this through different lenses too, ie. causes, responses, consequences, resolutions.

C,Id&b: The Ancient World.
Again, this will be a strength for History students, but this can work well alongside a discussion of contemporary society (eg. I once wrote a paragraph comparing the 'backstabbing' of Rudd by Gillard with the literal stabbing of Caesar by Brutus, linking that to the idea of conflicts born out of power struggles.) From Ancient Egypt to Mesopotamia, if this is something that interests you I guarantee there will be stories to tell here.

C,Id&b: The Arab Spring.
A timeline will probably be of the most help to you, even if you're writing a POV or detailed account of one person's struggle, knowing when and where things happened is always good. You could incorperate the role of the media and social media here too.

C,Id&b,IL: Mythology
Greek and Roman are good starting points for the classics. If you're luck you might even get a text that brings up certain legends or cultures, so you could investigate African, Nordic, Indian, Aztec, or even Indigenous Australian mythos. In fact there's a cute little picture story book called 'How the birds got their colours' by Pamela Lofts that has some good metaphor potential.
Here's a list of possibilities. Pick a culture or time period and go for it.

C,Id&b,IL: The Israel/Palestine Conflict 
Great example of a conflict that simply refuses to resolve itself.  A couple of factors play into this, including a tendency on both sides to use immoral/terrorist tactics, religious/ethnic/historical factors, the fact that both sides are internally divided (Israel uses a proportional voting system, which basically means that there are four different parties sharing parliament who disagree on everything - Palestine is governed by Hamas and Fatah, the former which is a terrorist organisation and the latter which is corrupt as hell, and both disagree with each other quite often too), etc.

C,IL: The Senkaku/Diaoyu Island Conflict
An example of conflict spurring out of seemingly nothing; basically, both China and Japan want these uninhabited islands (which are basically worthless), and most of the reason why there is a massive conflict about it is because both countries are nationalistic and want to exercise their "pride" (this is again a simplistic overview - read up more on it if you want).  A few years ago the Economist was talking about how this could potentially trigger World War III - nowadays that seems unlikely, but it's still ongoing and any misstep by either side would bring China and the US (who is obliged to defend Japan) into direct conflict.

Media Stories (relevant for '14, will update throughout the year)

C,Id&b,WR,IL: The issue of Asylum Seekers and Gay Marriage are extremely popular, so while they may have a lot of good essay fodder, unless you've got something new and interesting to say, best not to say anything at all; English teachers have heard both these topics done to death.

C,Id&b,IL:  Gender in the Media and The Gun Debate (US)
Though at first these seem to have nothing to do with one another, they've actually been quite closely linked this year in the media.
The USCB shootings, if you can stomach it, is one in a line of many MANY massacres in the US that saw a sickening amount of attention on the shooter. The gun debate is a story in and of itself, but here we also saw the revival of a debate over whether women saying no makes them responsible for... well, whatever follows. The twitter hastags #YesAllWomen and #NotAllMen were the respective counter-movements and counter-counter movements following the debate. I suppose this is ideal for persuasive pieces since it's a pretty divisive issue.
See also: John Oliver's superb mini-docu-segment-thing. Granted it's a comedy show, but there are some very well-made points nonetheless. It's a three-part series, ~15 minutes in total, and given the Australian gun laws were introduced in 1996, it gives us young'uns some info on a story as old as we are :)

C,Id&b,IL: Ukraine/Crimea & Russia. This could technically be counted under the Historical Events section depending on when you're writing, but you could also look at the media's coverage of this conflict.

C,Id&b,WR,IL: The Media Overseas, or How The Media Covers Itself... Media-ception 8)
There are notable differences between Australian media and that of other countries. News corps would be ideal for comparison here, but you could also look at how culture informs what we see and interpret. Our media also go to great lengths to keep to certain narratives, and even use phrases like "tension is mounting" or "speculation is growing" in order to keep reporting on a story when it fact, they're the ones mounting tension and feeding speculation.
If you're interested in journalism there are a couple of good movies exploring the behind-the-scenes vs. in front of the camera elements. Network and Good Night and Good Luck spring to mind as some well-told stories.

C,Id&b: Edward Snowden, Julian Assange/wikileaks, and the NSA
Lots to talk about here in relation to privacy and the right to free speech. These might have been bigger stories last year, but they're still relevant. Plenty of information out there if you're unfamiliar with this.

C,Id&b,WR,IL: Advertising.
Just watch The Gruen Transfer, that should cover all bases :)

C,Id&b,WR:  Jade Goody may not be a well-known name in Australia, but I guess our equivalent would be any one of those standard reality tv celebrity types that everyone knows but no one really likes. As was the case for Jade until in 2009 she was diagnosed with terminal cervical cancer, and suddenly the media felt obliged to stop treating her like a stupid/bigotted/'hot mess' and re-humanise her as a 'beloved national treasure.'
This video does an excellent job of summing up the whole sorry saga, with some added commentary towards the end about the public's reaction and trolling commenters. Speaking of:

C,Id&b: Trolls.
A BBC Radio presenter put together a documentary called The Anti-Social Network in which he explores the mind of an internet troll following a particularly nasty slight against him and his family. There are quite a few interesting anecdotes throughout, both from perpetrators and victims, and actually succeeded in finding some rationale behind this mentality. Plenty of stories to link this to, not least of which: Charlotte Dawson's suicide earlier this year. Plenty of examples online, depressingly.

Cultural Commentary

Id&b,WR,IL: The teenager/adult dichotomy.
Is an eighteen year old really more mature and qualified to drive a car, consume alcohol, or watch an R rated film than someone who is 17 and 11 months. Aren't there some 15 year olds who are more mature and level-headed than 25 year olds? Of course our society has to draw the line somewhere, but perhaps this arbitrary divide can have an effect on youth culture. Out 18th is supposedly our 'coming of age,' but a lot of us will still be going to school, living at home and continuing with our lives as normal. Compare this to ye olde days when us girls were wed by the age of 14 and probably would have had 3 kids by now, while the guys were out hunting and fighting and... doing manly things.
You could also look at the process of growing up in the modern age, and how such rapid changes in pretty much everything over the past decade has radically redefined education and parenting. Kids have ipads in primary school, and cybersafety is now taught to grade 1s. Meanwhile a generation of parents have to try to monitor the use of technology many of them can't keep up with and don't understand. Some definite dystopian potential here for anyone writing creatively, otherwise a normal expository link would work nicely too.

Id&b,WR,IL: Judith Butler and Gender Roles in Society
This is very advanced continental philosophy, but there should be some simplified guides floating around.  The basic idea is that concepts such as "womanhood" exist only as a sort of performance, that society writes roles for individuals and that we "re-iterate" these roles and reinforce them through our performance of them.  The basic idea underlying all this is that identity therefore doesn't really exist per se, except within our performances of said identities.  Might not necessarily be super relevant to all prompts, but might be something worth thinking about.

Philosophical Ideas and Psychological Studies

WR,IL: Plato's Allegory of The Cave link
This was an allegory of Plato's to describe how we see the world.  The diagram does most of the explaining. For Plato, 'Forms' were the ideal world, and most people only ever see metaphorical 'Shadows of The Forms.' He also looks at the process of naming and categorisation (eg. we see the sun and call it the sun, but what does that mean?) In short: "we acquire concepts by our perceptual experience of physical objects. But we would be mistaken if we thought that the concepts that we grasp were on the same level as the things we perceive."
There are many other theories in Plato's writing that have had an effect on the way we think. The Republic is another good one, in which Plato examines what a perfect city would look like, how the administration would work, what ethics it would prioritise. In fact, though The Republic talks in terms of cities and government, Plato is actually using these as metaphors for our souls and our capacity to Reason. For all you budding lawyers and doctors out there, a lot of uni courses require a philosophy component to test your well-rounded thinking abilities, so acquainting yourself with these concepts now might be helpful in the future.
You could also look into illusions and delusions from a psychological or even medical perspective, just keep in mind most English markers will have BAs, not medical degrees, so use relatively common terminology and explain concepts logically. Probably best to mix this up with some historical/fictional examples of people prone to these conditions.

Id&b,WR: The idea of the mask wikipedia link
This is presumably covered quite extensively in the set texts, but the notion of masks or false identities can lead to any number of discussions.

C,Id&b: The Butterfly Effect wikipedia link
I'll put the link here, but this may not make sense to non-physics students since the explanation is quite convoluted. In simple terms: a butterfly flaps its wings and causes a hurricane somewhere around the world months later. Translation: from little things big things grow.

C,Id&b,WR,IL: Zimbardo's Prison Experiment, Milgram's Obedience Experiment, and Asch's Conformity Experiments are all covered in the Unit 1/2 Psych course, which is how I know of them. As with the historical examples, don't rely too heavily on stuff that's already in the curriculum, but these studies lend themselves well to discussion about the human psyche.

C: Conflict Theory
WR: Reality Theory
^Both of these have a great deal written about them; there's not really an equivalent for Id&b or IL that I know about, but correct me if I'm wrong.
Note: Reality Theory also has some bearing on the Imaginative Landscape Context anyway, but be careful not to get too bogged down in terminology.

C,Id&b: Friedrich Nietzsche 
A 20th century philosopher who gave rise to the expression "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger", and basically (this is a VERY reductionist explanation) advocates the idea that conflict is the essence of life itself, and that embracing it leads to growth and empowerment.

WR,IL: Iris Murdoch
Murdoch is a famous philosophical author who according to wikipedia ( :P) centred on notions of good and evil, sexual relationships, morality, and the power of the unconscious. See also: Martha Nussbaum who wrote about the ability of literature to help us develop moral empathy by reframing our world view to incorporate other people's realities.

WR,IL: Schopenhauer/Buddhism and The Illusion of Reality
This theory postulates that our subjective realities are created by our selfish desires, and that transcending reality and realising "truth" comes from us giving up on these desires and basically living ascetic lifestyles.

C,Id&b,WR,IL: Post structuralism and semiotics
No possible way I can sum up these incredibly dense theories here so... helpful links:
Poststructuralism: (1) (2)
Semiotics: (1) (2)

Political Stories (past and present)

C,Id&b,WR,IL: Rudd vs. Gillard vs. the 'real' Kevin vs. the 'real' Julia.
Another popular one, try to look at this from some worthwhile angles. There have been many feminist critiques of both PMs if that's your cup of tea, or you could always just tie these two back to their respective policies, or the conflicting factions of both parties.

C,Id&b,IL: American Politics is always entertaining. The Democrat/Republican divide is a lot more pronounced than our Labor/Liberal thing, and they have much more dynamic personalities. Basically America likes to turn it up to 11 until their "news coverage" of elections or even Question Time becomes a headache-inducing shoutfest with flashy visuals and incessant audience whooping.

C,Id&b,IL: The Budget
This seems to be a popular topic, but it can be tricky to tie in without some knowledge of the political system and the role of special interest campaign groups. Some research here is necessary if you're not politically inclined, since there's a lot of misreporting going on at the moment too.

C,Id&bWR,IL: Climate Change "Debate"
John Oliver's show pretty much summed up the current state of play: (with Bill Nye!)

C,Id&bWR: Pauline Hanson
Leader of the controversial and ever so slightly racist 'One Nation Party,' Hanson was one of Australia's most right-wing figures. They're largely ignored by the media and common sense nowadays, but a retrospective look at their popularity in the lat 90s raises some interesting questions (ie. do people believe there is an Australian "identity" to be protected?  Who should actually belong in Australia?  Are migrants challenging our sense of belonging and way of Australian life? etc.)

C,WR: North Korea
Basically a real world 1984, down to the whole "there are radios that play government propaganda that you can never turn off" thing.  Also, North Koreans believe they were the first to ever land on the moon. (Read Kim Jong Il's autobiography for more "historical facts" from his supernatural birth to that time he invented the hamburger or scored 38 under par on a golf course, smashing world records 25 times over.) Do look up also though how this is gradually changing, as more and more images of South Korean life are smuggled in via USBs etc. (ie. the government's control on "reality" is breaking)

Science and Technology

C,Id&b,IL: Social media incl. facebook, twitter, youtube, cyberbullying, web 2.0 in general. This links well with the idea of the mask mentioned in the Philosophy and Psychology section. You could also look at more specific instances, eg. the #nomakeupselfie which started as a cancer awareness fundraiser and became a sort of social comment about how it was some sort of spectacle for a girl to not be wearing makeup. Another avenue you might find interesting is the 'trending' section on twitter (based on the amount of activity surrounding certain hashtags.) Major world events and tragedies will skyrocket up the list, and then slowly fall back down until the Kardashians resume their 'rightful' place at the top of the world. <-- could be a good basis for a creative piece too; if someone were to look back on or forward at the list of 'trending topics,' what might they conclude about our society?

C,WR: The Vaccination "Debate"
Research these nutbags for more "information." They're of the opinion that vaccinations cause autism, cancer, blindness, plague, and death. (don't quote me on that)
This might also lend itself to looking at the notion of there being two sides to every story- is this always the case?

C,Id&bWR: Stem Cell Research
Similar to above, you'll find some crackpots, but there are a lot of other, more balanced arguments about "playing god" and the potential for science in the future. Many dystopian novels use this as a starting point, refer to the Literature/Film section for specifics.

C,Id&bWR,IL: Net Neutrality
From what I gather, it's like the SOPA Bill but 100x worse judging from America's reaction. It's been in the news quite a lot over the past few months so hopfully you'll be able to find some resources. Put simply, the government may soon deregulate the internet (?) so that sites will have to pay extra to be able to provide fast service. For companies that are already up and going, this fee won't set them back too much, but for newcomers, they may not be able to compete; thus the internet becomes dominated by those who can afford to do so.  There's also some speculation about them deliberately slowing down the speed of certain independent websites who refuse to pay, and other such shady, petty deals. As with most unfolding news stories there's quite a bit of misinformation, and be careful not to get to polemic about these ideas (even if you are writing a persuasive piece.)

Music/Musicians/Lyrics

C,Id&b,WR,IL: The Beatles are a good starting point, and a shortcut to the minds of stuffy old assessors. Jks I love The Beatles. Most of their lyrics lend themselves to discussion about humanity and our potential for good and bad, though you could also look at the lives of the famous four.
Be wary with the more modern pop though; most English teachers would pride themselves on not knowing who Ke$ha is, so you might have to do some explaining there.

C,Id&b,WR,IL: That said, there are some more recent songs you could look at. Mackelmore's Thrift Shop and One Love both have some interesting things to say about consumerist and homophobic culture respectively.
If you're into rap, this guy Hopsin had a series about societal values. Number 5 was a somewhat controversial examining of youth culture and the dangers of idolising hip hop, and by extension the 'yolo' attitude. For the record I don't endorse what he says about the women in this video, but he's introducing an interesting perspective to the debate at least. Number 6 was another good one looking at the consequences of drug addiction told through the perspective of someone watching their friend throw their life away.

C,Id&b,WR,IL: On a slightly more positive note, Rebecca Black's Friday might make for an interesting discussion, though I feel like I should be putting this in Media Stories instead of Music. Though the public's immediate reaction was one of outright rejection and collective contempt, since then many people have come to realise that there was a victim to all the hate, and suddenly the idea of a 13 year old girl being told to slit her wrists by millions of people didn't seem so harmless. For the other side to the story, Black did one of those 'Draw My Life' videos that explains just how unexpected this was, and just how deeply it affected her. Tying this in with a discussion about a culture of bullying might be beneficial.

C,Id&b,WR,IL: To raise the standards a bit, consider some classical musicians. Though you might not be able to integrate any lyrics, looking at their backstories and how their societal context informed their work could be good. Lots could be made out of the fact that Mozart was branded a child prodigy at such an early age, or the fact that Beethoven went deaf but still composed, even going so far as to crawl off his deathbed to the piano where his son had left a tune unfinished. You might then link this to a broader discussion about under-appreciated geniuses in the fields of art, music, literature, film, anything really; and how society treats people's memory as opposed to the person themselves. see also: Jade Goody (Media Stories)

C,Id&b,WR,IL:Not Giving In by Rudimental youtube link
This song follows two brothers as they journey down their respective paths, and looks at how one event can alter the course of a life dramatically.

Art/Artists

WR,IL: heaps you could use here, Zdzisław Beksiński is amazing if you can remember how to spell his name in exam conditions  :P
For the art students among us, you can even get away with analysing some pieces like you would a literary text. On a more contemporary note: Marina Abramovic is a crazy lady "performance artist" who does... interesting things. There are many others though, like Karen Finley who did this  in which she stripped naked and bathed in honey while reciting a monologue about Winnie the Pooh doing bdsm. Not a word of a lie. Bet you're all regretting not picking VCE Art now, huh?

In fact the entire Dada movement is ripe for discussion. Beginning at the end of WWI, Dadaists cynically believed that any culture that could produce the horrible human bloodbath that was the first World War had no intrinsic value. Some would call their work misanthropic, others see it as more like 'anti-art' which aims to destroy all other art.

Sport
C,Id&b,WR: AFL Essendon Drug Allegations and ASADA probe
Football and lawyers and drugs, oh my!
Again from a sociological perspective, consider what the 'damage' to the AFL brand has been, and how this changes society's perception. This also takes its toll on the athletes who are presumably under pressure from teammates and coaches to take performance enhancing "supplements."

C,Id&b,WR: Wrestling
Similar to above, look at the difference between perception and reality. You might also comment on the outward performance (ie. when the cameras are rolling or the fans are watching, the wrestlers are aggressive alpha-male, steroid induced bulks of angry muscle, but after the fight they're a loving husband and father of three). On the flip side you do have some competitors who are aggressive through and through, and arguably their presence in the sport contributes more to the negative image most people have of boxing/wrestling/contact sport.

C,Id&b: Jeremy Lin
Basketball player who paved the way for his own identity (and that of other Asian Americans) to become an NBA professional.
Title: Re: ~*Context External Examples Guide*~
Post by: pi on June 11, 2014, 01:34:47 pm
This is amazing! :D

A couple of others we studied in WR:
- Plato's Cave was an interesting philosophical concept we delved into
- Some medical jazz in terms of illusions vs hallucinations vs delusions
Title: Re: ~*Context External Examples Guide*~
Post by: Rod on June 11, 2014, 10:04:33 pm
Thanks Lauren. This is an amazing list.
Title: Re: ~*Context External Examples Guide*~
Post by: literally lauren on June 12, 2014, 06:29:58 pm
Cheers pi, I'll add that in
I actually love the Cave Allegory, I used it all the time for lit. Such relevance  :)
Title: Re: ~*Context External Examples Guide*~
Post by: walkec on June 12, 2014, 06:44:03 pm
I quite like using song lyrics in writing context pieces, depending on the prompt. My personal favourite was using "Imagine" by Lennon for a piece I wrote in preparation for the Whose Reality SAC.

My teacher's advice with song lyrics was to try to steer clear of more obscure songs.

We also looked at the Global Financial Crisis too  :)
Title: Re: ~*Context External Examples Guide*~
Post by: Paulrus on June 12, 2014, 07:00:44 pm
yeah song lyrics can be pretty useful because they're fairly malleable, and they don't need as much explanation as other resources like literature. you can spend more time discussing the context itself rather than explaining plots, etc. i referenced the line 'can you fix a hole in your heart with the swing of your fist?' from ball park music's 'cost of lifestyle' in my encountering conflict sac, which worked well.

a lot of the time mythology can be a good source of evidence for conflict (and possibly other contexts) - especially greek mythology, cos that shit is messed up. the myth of hera and hercules works well, especially as it's actually directly referenced in paradise road. and sisyphus is another interesting one re: consequences of conflict
Title: Re: ~*Context External Examples Guide*~
Post by: literally lauren on June 12, 2014, 08:14:05 pm
Thanks guys! :)
I'll add mythology to history because close enough, right? If it gets enough development I might split it later. Song lyrics can definitely be a new one though.

especially greek mythology, cos that shit is messed up.
Ahem. I see your greek mythology and raise you my Art:
... in which the artist stripped naked and bathed in honey while reciting a monologue about Winnie the Pooh doing bdsm.
Performance art is the greatest.
Title: Re: ~*Context External Examples Guide*~
Post by: mikehepro on June 12, 2014, 08:36:50 pm
Love your work Lauren!!!!!! I absolutely love Fahrenheit 451!
A great book we did in yr 11 was called Border Crossing, i really enjoyed it :P
Title: Re: ~*Context External Examples Guide*~
Post by: Stick on June 12, 2014, 09:58:25 pm
Awesome work! I was going to contribute my main concepts (I used to write speeches for Whose Reality?) but not surprisingly they were all there already! :D
Title: Re: ~*Context External Examples Guide*~
Post by: literally lauren on June 12, 2014, 10:01:17 pm
Border Crossing: Another book by Pat Barker apparently? Wonder why she isn't on the booklist for being so relevant?
Cheers mikehepro, I'm keen to seek this one out myself now.

And feel free to unpack stuff further Stick. I've never studied Whose Reality and a lot of these references are just basic starting points anyway, so input from people who've got more experience and wisdom here is more than welcome :)
Title: Re: ~*Context External Examples Guide*~
Post by: Stick on June 12, 2014, 10:02:51 pm
I've added it to my to-do list once exams are done (I'm posting this here to hold myself accountable to doing it). Watch this space!
Title: Re: ~*Context External Examples Guide*~
Post by: Jono_CP on June 12, 2014, 11:16:35 pm
If only I had this information when I did my context SAC...

I don't know, I definitely used the budget example.

I just wrote... I don't know what. Well I do, but like I have no idea if it was any good. I thought it was sophisticated - sometimes I think that my grammar and punctuation (e.g. commas) and everything should be placed in a certain way and this disturbs my flow of writing/ideas.
Title: Re: ~*Context External Examples Guide*~
Post by: Jono_CP on June 12, 2014, 11:21:38 pm
For sport, one could possibly discuss ASADA's probe into the Essendon Football Club and how that is tarnishing the AFL brand. When reality, it is only one club that is only in the 'spotlight' so to speak.

Another would be the safety concerns regarding the Ultimate Fighting Championship. Research suggests that the UFC is actually safer than more people realise in comparison to other sports.

One could write about Mike Tyson's scary demeanour as only an illusion to trick his opponents into surrender. If one reads his book, he honestly doesn't seem like a bad guy.
Title: Re: ~*Context External Examples Guide*~
Post by: Edward Elric on June 13, 2014, 01:50:56 pm
Sorry if this has already been posted but check out the song rudimental- not giving in. It shows the contrast between two brothers, one who chooses dancing and how it ended up saving his life, and the other one getting involved with gangs and  drugs who ended up dying. I think this is more identity and belonging as it shows how the people you associate with can either influence you positively or negatively. Your identity is shaped by those around you, and especially the groups you belong to. Thoughts?
Title: Re: ~*Context External Examples Guide*~
Post by: Rod on June 13, 2014, 02:03:33 pm
Sorry if this has already been posted but check out the song rudimental- not giving in. It shows the contrast between two brothers, one who chooses dancing and how it ended up saving his life, and the other one getting involved with gangs and  drugs who ended up dying. I think this is more identity and belonging as it shows how the people you associate with can either influence you positively or negatively. Your identity is shaped by those around you, and especially the groups you belong to. Thoughts?
I don't' do identity and belonging but that sounds pretty good :)
Title: Re: ~*Context External Examples Guide*~
Post by: Edward Elric on June 13, 2014, 02:38:05 pm
I don't' do identity and belonging but that sounds pretty good :)

Thanks :D
Title: Re: ~*Context External Examples Guide*~
Post by: literally lauren on June 13, 2014, 06:42:07 pm
Thanks guys, added your examples, keep 'em coming :)
Title: Re: ~*Context External Examples Guide*~
Post by: Jason12 on June 13, 2014, 10:02:14 pm
Is mentioning super heroes in an I&B piece too overdone or too cheesy? My example would be in the show "Arrow" the main character oliver who is a billionaire, is pressured by his family into taking over and running his fathers company and becoming a modest, responsible adult but really he wants to be a hero and save the city from criminals. He's pressured to take on an identity that he doesn't want to be associated with. Also batman where he says "It's not who I am underneath but what I do that defines me". I like that quote but wouldn't be sure how to turn it into a full paragraph

also something we touched in class on about how most year 12's will be 18 years and how society expects 18 year olds to be responsible but some people don't feel like they have become truly responsible at 18 and thus don't feel like they belong as a proper adult

also the example of Elliot Rodgers (guy who shot up a college campus) can be used as an I&B example. Although he was twisted and psychopathic and despite his family being rich and well connected, he was constantly bullied in each school he went to and never belonged with others.
Title: Re: ~*Context External Examples Guide*~
Post by: Paulrus on June 14, 2014, 12:28:54 am
Ahem. I see your greek mythology and raise you my Art:Performance art is the greatest.
i'll raise you once more - zeus slept with a mortal woman named semele and she became pregnant, and he promised her anything she wanted. she asked to see his true form, so he showed her, which caused her to burst into flames and die. (oops?)
so he took the fetus from the ashes, stitched it in his thigh, and later gave birth to it himself. and that baby then became the god of wine  8)

also i just saw you included black mirror, massive props haha. white bear was absolutely fantastic.
Title: Re: ~*Context External Examples Guide*~
Post by: sparked on June 14, 2014, 12:37:35 am
Lauren is killing it!
Title: Re: ~*Context External Examples Guide*~
Post by: Jono_CP on June 14, 2014, 03:48:14 pm
Sorry if this has already been posted but check out the song rudimental- not giving in. It shows the contrast between two brothers, one who chooses dancing and how it ended up saving his life, and the other one getting involved with gangs and  drugs who ended up dying. I think this is more identity and belonging as it shows how the people you associate with can either influence you positively or negatively. Your identity is shaped by those around you, and especially the groups you belong to. Thoughts?

For identity and belonging I'd also highly recommend the novel cum movie: The Perks of Being a Wallflower.
Title: Re: ~*Context External Examples Guide*~
Post by: mikehepro on June 14, 2014, 09:38:11 pm
Border Crossing: Another book by Pat Barker apparently? Wonder why he isn't on the booklist for being so relevant?
Cheers mikehepro, I'm keen to seek this one out myself now.


Thanks for adding it on the list! Oh and i just saw Black Mirror on the list, as if i didn't see it earlier :P it's my favorite TV show/social commentary,love the ideas implied in it!
PS: DON'T WATCH THE FIRST EPISODE,hehe
Title: Re: ~*Context External Examples Guide*~
Post by: literally lauren on June 14, 2014, 10:50:27 pm
Is mentioning super heroes in an I&B piece too overdone or too cheesy? My example would be in the show "Arrow" the main character oliver who is a billionaire, is pressured by his family into taking over and running his fathers company and becoming a modest, responsible adult but really he wants to be a hero and save the city from criminals. He's pressured to take on an identity that he doesn't want to be associated with. Also batman where he says "It's not who I am underneath but what I do that defines me". I like that quote but wouldn't be sure how to turn it into a full paragraph

also something we touched in class on about how most year 12's will be 18 years and how society expects 18 year olds to be responsible but some people don't feel like they have become truly responsible at 18 and thus don't feel like they belong as a proper adult

also the example of Elliot Rodgers (guy who shot up a college campus) can be used as an I&B example. Although he was twisted and psychopathic and despite his family being rich and well connected, he was constantly bullied in each school he went to and never belonged with others.

Superheros are a pretty common one, but it's a broad enough topic, and since I've already acknowledged WWII and asylum seekers this is probably worth a mention.
I really like your point about the paradox of being a young adult, and what that label actually means. If anyone else wants to unpack this further or challenge this in some way, I'd welcome it.
And I've mentioned the USCB shootings in the media stories section. Sorry, I have this thing about actually mentioning the shooter's name. You probably should know it if you're writing a piece, but I remember this press conference in America back when I was a kid, (I think it was one of the high school massacres) in whichc the principal said something along the lines of 'I would ask the media not to dwell on the perpetrator of this horrendous crime. Don't show his face, don't make his name infamous, because this feeds the culture and only makes other desperate children think of this as an option. Instead, focus on the victims.' He then preceded to tell stories about some of the children who'd been shot, who they were and what the community had lost. Obviously your essays aren't a form of broadcast media, so you're free to delve into the shooter's psychology for academic reasons, but I think the other side of the story has potential too. Or otherwise you could zoom out and consider the role of the media coverage like I've just done.
Shootings in America are depressingly common, so while this year's assessors may not have heard this story in particular, they will be familiar with many others, and you definitely address this if it's not too bleak for you. I'll also put a video link to one of John Oliver's segments on the Gun Debate in which he compares the situation in the US to here. Makes you proud to be Aussie :) he makes us look quite awesome.

For identity and belonging I'd also highly recommend the novel cum movie: The Perks of Being a Wallflower.
Added, cheers Jono_CP :)

also i just saw you included black mirror, massive props haha. white bear was absolutely fantastic.
Thanks for adding it on the list! Oh and i just saw Black Mirror on the list, as if i didn't see it earlier :P it's my favorite TV show/social commentary,love the ideas implied in it!
I had no idea this show was so popular, always good to know :)

PS: DON'T WATCH THE FIRST EPISODE,hehe
Lol, dude, why would you say this, now they're all going to watch it *face palm*
Title: Re: ~*Context External Examples Guide*~
Post by: EvangelionZeta on June 16, 2014, 07:18:45 pm
Awesome thread.  Some useful examples for some specific contexts:

Conflict - the philosophy of Friedrich Nietzsche.  He's the guy who originated the phrase "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger", and basically (this is a VERY reductionist explanation) advocates the idea that conflict is the essence of life itself, and that embracing it leads to growth and empowerment.

-the Israel/Palestine conflict.  Great example of a conflict that simply refuses to resolve itself.  A couple of factors play into this, including a tendency on both sides to use immoral/terrorist tactics, religious/ethnic/historical factors, the fact that both sides are internally divided (Israel uses a proportional voting system, which basically means that there are four different parties sharing parliament who disagree on everything - Palestine is governed by Hamas and Fatah, the former which is a terrorist organisation and the latter which is corrupt as hell, and both disagree with each other quite often too), etc.

-the Senkaku/Diaoyu Island conflict - an example of conflict spurring out of seemingly nothing.  Basically, both China and Japan want these uninhabited islands (which are basically worthless), and most of the reason why there is a massive conflict about it is because both countries are nationalistic and want to exercise their "pride" (this is again a simplistic overview - read up more on it if you want).  A few years ago the Economist was talking about how this could potentially trigger World War III - nowadays that seems unlikely, but it's still ongoing and any misstep by either side would bring China and the US (who is obliged to defend Japan) into direct conflict.
Title: Re: ~*Context External Examples Guide*~
Post by: EvangelionZeta on June 16, 2014, 07:32:51 pm
Identity and Belonging - theories of gender and performativity in Judith Butler.  This is very advanced continental philosophy, but there should be some simplified guides floating around.  The basic idea is that concepts such as "womanhood" exist only as a sort of performance, that society writes roles for individuals and that we "re-iterate" these roles and reinforce them through our performance of them.  The basic idea underlying all this is that identity therefore doesn't really exist per se, except within our performances of said identities.  Might not necessarily be super relevant to all prompts, but might be something worth thinking about.

-Looking at the Howard/Pauline Hanson years of Australian politics - how identity and belonging was negotiated and discussed on a nation-wide scale (is there an Australian "identity" to be protected?  Who should actually belong to Australia?  Are migrants challenging our sense of belonging and way of Australian life? etc.)

-The Woman Warrior (Maxine Hong-Kingston) - the most widely taught text in the United States, is basically all about migrant identity, but also the identity of a girl whose ancestors' come to define her notion of self in the present.  Definitely look into it if you want an alternate text (and there are a gazillion resources out there on this).

-The Slap (Christos Tsiolkas) - brilliant Australian novel about identity being formed in Melbourne suburbs.  Explores notions of migrant identity, identity for white Australians in an age of "multiculturalism", and also gendered and queer identities, particularly for youths.  All sorts of stuff on the reality and absence of belonging here.
Title: Re: ~*Context External Examples Guide*~
Post by: EvangelionZeta on June 16, 2014, 07:42:33 pm
Whose Reality - along with Plato's cave, see also Iris Murdoch, who has a similar notion of transcending to enlightenment, by overcoming the illusion of the selfish ego and acknowledging the greater truth that lies in acknowledging all human needs - Martha Nussbaum also has a similar idea in relation to literature, where literature helps us to develop "moral empathy", reframing our realities so that they are no longer selfishly driven but instead are sophisticated via our recognition of other perspectives

-also consider Schopenhauer/Buddhist ideas, that reality itself is all an illusion, created by our selfish desires, and that transcending reality and realising "truth" comes from us giving up on these desires and basically living ascetic lifestyles

-perfect real world example I'm surprised nobody has brought up is North Korea.  Just read up on it, it is basically a real world 1984, down to the whole "there are radios that play government propaganda that you can never turn off" thing.  Also, North Koreans believe they were the first to ever land on the moon.  Do look up also though how this is gradually changing, as more and more images of South Korean life are smuggled in via USBs etc. (ie. the government's control on "reality" is breaking)

-there are some great examples of people's "realities" being totally subjective post World War II.  I can't remember the names, but there were heaps of soldiers (from Japan specifically, IIRC) who believed that the war was still ongoing decades later, because they had been hiding in the jungle the whole time and nobody had ever told them that the war was ended.
Title: Re: ~*Context External Examples Guide*~
Post by: EvangelionZeta on June 16, 2014, 07:58:57 pm
Imaginative Landscape - tbh the theories you can use here are actually quite similar those you might consider in Whose Reality - you mostly want to focus on philosophical perspectives that reality is socially constructed, with particular reference to the fact that our understanding of particular concepts, ideas, symbols, etc. is transmitted culturally/through social indoctrination.  Some keywords to look up are "poststructuralism" and "semiotics", both of which encompass ideas about how our understanding of reality is shaped socially

-Carpentaria (Alexis Wright) - I haven't read this myself but I am assured by both critics and friends that this is a BEAUTIFUL piece of Indigenous Australian literature, exploring the relationship between self and landscape

-A past student informs me the story of Hugh Evans (founder of Oaktree) is an excellent example of landscapes interacting with one another - basically, Evans experienced living in a slum in the Philipines at age 14, and the vastly different experience of landscape there (coloured moreover by his memories of his landscape at home) gave him a profound awareness for the realities of poverty, and inspired him to found Oaktree.
Title: Re: ~*Context External Examples Guide*~
Post by: literally lauren on June 17, 2014, 06:22:32 pm
Wow, thanks EZ, these are amazing.
I'll just post most of these verbatim if you don't mind, you've explained it all wonderfully :)
Thanks heaps!
Title: Re: ~*Context External Examples Guide*~
Post by: Jason12 on June 18, 2014, 04:56:34 pm
I&B - Jeremy Lin was a Harvard graduate but defied his stereotypical 'asian' (academic) identity to play basketball and became the first Asian NBA player and a role model to others.
- http://www.policymic.com/articles/4218/jeremy-lin-is-the-most-important-asian-american-role-model-ever

http://www.hellokpop.com/2014/06/01/brazilian-man-undergoes-plastic-surgery-to-look-korean/
- man gets expensive surgery to look more korean - relates to the changing of physical identity
- can be used if the prompt is "there are costs associated with changing identity"

- how video games provide users with a range of identities they can take on and play as
Title: Re: ~*Context External Examples Guide*~
Post by: Stick on June 24, 2014, 04:33:09 pm
No, I hadn't forgotten about the promise I'd made in this thread and now I'm going to try and fulfill it.

My context in Year 12 was Whose Reality? and throughout the year context was my weakest link but with a lot of work I managed to get it to become my strongest section and actually got full marks for my response in the exam. Whose Reality? is not a difficult context, but a lot of students do struggle a lot to define what it is (which is absolutely necessary - otherwise you have no idea what you're writing about). In particular, people forget that the context itself is a question, which not only asks you to discuss reality, but who the realities belong to.

I think Lauren here has done a great job at providing you with some examples here so I probably won't go further with that, but what I want to encourage you all to do is to play around and experiment with different text types. For most of the year I was dead set on the expository essay form as I don't have a single creative bone in my body. You will never get purposefully marked down based on your chosen form but what I was doing, whilst meeting the criteria and all, was nothing special and not a standout. Then someone encouraged me to write speeches instead, since my highest-scoring English SAC was in fact the oral presentation. Well, it was the best thing I could have done. Speeches are actually very structured pieces of writing which made it a lot easier for someone like myself whose ability to write quickly often relied on how structured the piece is. It played to my strengths, allowed me to get beyond talking about topics using formal register (I'm someone who writes very well using general informal language) and sans emotion and gave me a sense of "controlled freedom and creativity." In other words, it just worked. And I'm sure there's probably some form out there for the rest of you which will work too - you just need to give everything a go before your final SAC or exam arrives.

My texts were Spies and The Lot: In Words - both texts involve a war of some sort (World War II and the Vietnam/Iraq wars, respectively). Hence, I went on a bit of a theme with conflicts and disagreements and often wrote about things like Church vs Science in regards to evolution (basically gave me a free passage to write about Biology for a paragraph which not only made things interesting for me but again played to my strengths), the Jim Crow laws and the American Civil War or the Arab spring riots. These are all fairly common examples in hindsight, but I think what set me apart from the others was the fact that the examples usually clicked well together and gave me room to describe events (more structured) relevant to the prompt. By the end of studying context I had about 9 base paragraphs which I essentially tweaked coming into the exam. Depending on the prompt, I'd select the three most appropriate topics. While prepared plans and general gists of paragraphs is OK, I'd avoid memorising pieces for the exam and trying to fit them in.

So as you can see, the whole point of context is to try and be personal about it. Pick things that resonate with you, find a way which you feel comfortable expressing yourself and talk about the things that really interest you. Context is basically a chance to put a little piece of your soul on display to an assessor, which is a beautiful and rare opportunity to open up. In the end, it was an opportunity I came to enjoy.
Title: Re: English Guides, Sample Pieces, Tips and Resources
Post by: Jono_CP on July 25, 2014, 10:46:51 pm
For Whose Reality? and in particular for the science category, I used the juxtaposition between religion and science. More specifically, well known atheists or anti-theists such as Richard Dawkins, Sam Harris, Daniel Dennett and the diseased Christopher Hitchens. Who essentially believe that the only certainty is uncertainty, and that doubt is actually in reality a positive contribution to humanity.
Title: Re: English Guides, Sample Pieces, Tips and Resources
Post by: literally lauren on September 15, 2014, 10:44:46 pm
literally lauren's End of Year Study Guide

Congratulations everybody, and welcome to the fun part of the year! No longer will you have teachers breathing down your necks about SAC dates and homework commitments. Though you might have the occasional practice essay due, the next few weeks will be all about your self-directed study.

So how the hell do you do that?
(https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcR-nckwAY8S-K1xWIdFPUQKXdpXE9YeY6bpPIy4M102FOpbGQBF)

If you've read any of my posts you'll know I'm a big advocate for self-aware study; that is, knowing what you're doing and why you're doing it. There's no sense writing 6 practice essays all on a similar topic, and making the same mistake on each one. Before the inevitable 'how many essays should I write?' questions come flooding in, I thought I'd make this guide to help you through the process and increase your productivity and decreasing workload.

First step: know what you need to work on. I've said this quite often recently, so let's break it up into something more manageable:
I'll discuss each of the essay types in order (though incidentally this isn't the order you should write them in for your exam) then some general queries towards the end. :)

SECTION A: the glorified book report
Which text should I choose?
Out of the two texts that you've studied this year, pick the one you think you'll do better in, regardless of how popular the text is or how long it's been on the list. Factor in these sorts of details if you need, but ultimately your individual strengths will be a much more influential factor. Some texts are naturally suited to more Views and Values discussion, whereas others have a lot of structural devices to unravel. In the end, trust your instincts and go with whatever you prefer.

Understanding the criteria
1. detailed knowledge and understanding of the selected text, demostrated appropriately in response to the topic.
2. development in the writing of a coherent and effective discussion in response to the task.
3. controlled use of expressive and effective language appropriate to the task.

'But wait,' I hear you say, 'those barely tell me anything, it's all just VCAA jargon.' Yeah, I always found these (and most of the study design for that matter) fairly unhelpful. Hence my simplified version:
1. Your writing must be relevant. Address the topic in its entirety, including the quote if there is one.
2. Your ideas should be good. If the assessor can get to the end of your essay on a novel about war, and the only conclusion you draw is 'The author thinks war is bad' ...then you're unlikely to score well.
3. Your writing must be good. This doesn't mean cramming in a bunch of flowery language, but rather, your expression should be clear and concise, your grammar and syntax should make sense, and your vocab should be appropriate to your discussion. This last one is relatively minor, and, like handwriting, you only really lose marks here if it's impeding clarity.

How do I develop my interpretation?
By this stage you should have moved beyond what the basic study guides are telling you. Try to have some sort of opinion about the characters as this will make it much easier to argue your contention later. Be careful though, if you've been told there are errors in your interpretations then it might be worth going back and rereading the text to see where you went wrong. You don't have to come up with some revolutionary idea, but try to look at things from a slightly different perspective. This can also help you when discussing alternate interpretations, which can be a good way to boost your mark.
Fortunately the more sophisticated interpretations often don't require a lot of writing, just a lot of reading and thinking. If you're lucky enough to be studying a classic text then there should be a bunch of resources out there. For others though, thinking will have to be your first resort. Ask yourself why you like/dislike the characters that you do. Are any of them irredeemable, or without fault? How does this text link in with a socio-historical/ authorial context (spoiler: all texts do somehow, that's one of the criteria for being on the booklist. Do some research if you haven't already!)

Methods for memorising quotes?
POST-IT NOTES, EVERYWHERE!!
Whilst everyone will have their own preferred methods for memorisation, immersion is always a good way to go. Sticking stuff up all over your bedroom walls (and the rest of your house if your parents are cool with it) is useful for almost all subjects, so get plastering. This is a system used by some of the world record holders for memorising decks of cards; they'll put each one in a specific location around their home, and then it'll be easier to recall a certain story in relation to the cards, or for our purposes, that Medea is hiding under a coffee table or that Jeff from Rear Window is hanging by his cast from the ceiling, Mission Impossible style.

Rather than just having blocks of chronological excerpts though, I'd recommend ordering quotes either by character (words said about, or by each major one) or by theme.
Personally, I broke up my text into 4 major characters, plus one extra group for all the minor ones. Then I went through and used a colour coding system for each big theme. I also had a list of structural devices I could use, but this is significantly smaller for most texts so memorisation isn't as much of an issue. After that point, writing practice essays should help drill these words into your head.

Improving on Intros and Conclusions?
If these are a weakness for you, don't worry, they barely matter beyond giving a good first and last impression. All your intro has to do is mention the text, your contention, and possibly a key evidence-based argument or two. Yes, you can have a couple of pre-written ones in mind, but be flexible when you see the prompt. Assessors have a keen eye for rote-learning, so don't bring up points just because they sound good or got you a double tick from your teacher. Remember: relevance is the first and most important criterion.
Conclusions don't have to be to complex either. Three or four sentences just to round off your contention and end on a high note should be enough.

What makes a good topic sentence?
There are a lot of ways to do these well, and a whole lot of ways you can go wrong, so I'll list the latter in the hopes that you can minimise your mistakes and end up with a format that works for you.
- DON'T summarise the entire paragraph. Topic sentences are designed to open up the discussion, and whilst it's good to reassert your contention, you don't want to make your discussion redundant. Plus, it can be hard to sum up later if you've already said everything. Keep the sentences angled around the prompt, and just mention which specific points you intend to address
- DON'T summarise the text. This goes for your entire essay generally, but avoid it here especially. You want to start off strong, so don't hit your assessor with a boring recount and expect them to keep reading with any interest. Assume they've read the text, but need the ideas explained to them; that way you can skip all the boring bits.
- DON'T restate/reword each of your topic sentences for the intro and conclusion. I guess this belongs more in the previous category, but signposting your arguments isn't a bit deal for VCE. Whilst it can give your essay some cohesion, too much repetition makes the assessors unhappy markers.
- DON'T use too much evidence. English body paragraphs are like sandwiches, they're pretty simple, but girls make them better they've got general discussion/bread on the top and bottom with all the meaty evidence in the middle.
Really what I'm saying is your essay should end up looking like one of those sandwiches that Scooby Doo makes.
(http://i.ytimg.com/vi/COPu2HjpAGE/hqdefault.jpg)

What's the ideal word count/number of paragraphs
This is widely debated and most teachers will have their own recommendations, but by conservative estimates, your T.R. essays should be at least 800 words in order to cover a sufficient amount of information. Most high scorers are writing closer to 1000, but as usual, quality>quantity.
Either 3, 4 or 5 paragraphs would be ideal. I tend to advocate 4 in order to cover enough ground, though anything more will require some fast writing skills in order to get through everything with enough evidence to back it up.

SECTION B ... yo I heard you like Text Response, so I put another Text Response on your Text Response

How do I get the balance right?
This delightful section of the exam is simpler than it seems - if you know how to write a good Text Response essay (i.e. you can analyse quotes and respond to a prompt effectively) then Section B is a walk in the park! The only extra thing you have to worry about is balancing your discussion between both texts. And the easiest way to do that is through essay structure (which I'll talk about next). For now, just keep in mind that your essay should have a roughly 50/50 split between your two texts - if you're spending 80% of every paragraph talking about the same one, you'll be in trouble! The assessors want to see you engage with both, so try and keep things as close to 50/50 as possible. A great way to do that is to ensure you are constantly using LINKING WORDS! To get you started, here are the ones from ATAR Notes' Literature Notes:
(https://i.imgur.com/ZMoojbK.png)

How do I structure my essay?
If you want a more detailed breakdown of this, check out this guide!
But for all you busy students out there with not a lot of time to spare, I'll summarise this briefly:
- Your introductions and conclusions should focus on the core idea(s) of the prompt, and discuss both texts.
- Your body paragraphs should each focus on one clear idea that's relevant to the prompt.
- Each body paragraph should discuss BOTH texts, though it doesn't have to be 50/50 every time.
- The starts and ends of every body paragraph should talk about the 'one clear idea' above, and how it is similar or different in both texts.
- While including comparative statements is important, remember that you also need to be analysing the texts in isolation sometimes, and that you can't just jump back and forth between the two texts too often.

To use the colour metaphor from the guide linked above, if Text 1 = blue, and Text 2 = red, don't forget that the 'purple' sentences that explicitly compare the similarities and differences between both texts are still highly important. So long as you strike a balance between these three elements, you can structure your essay in whatever way makes the most sense to you!

How on earth do I remember everything??
So... you know how you need to remember a tonne of quotes and evidence for Section A? You'd think it'd be twice as worse for Section B since you have TWO texts to worry about... but actually, you have a secret advantage that not many students are even aware of...

See, this is a comparative task, and the prompts in the exam want you to be able to compare the texts. Therefore, of course they're not going to give you a prompt that is only suited to one text!

For example, let's say your two comparative texts were Harry Potter and Twilight. The exam prompt would NEVER be something like 'Discuss the portrayal of vampires in the two texts'... because there are no vampires in Harry Potter! Likewise, you already know the prompt can't be about character growth, good vs. evil, and the question of to what extent we have free will, because you won't find any of those deep and interesting ideas in the Twilight series (#shotsfired)

In other words, yes both texts will have a tonne of quotes, themes, and concepts. But you only need to worry about the overlap!
(https://i.imgur.com/5w8qtVL.png)
That's why your study should be focusing on these core ideas that are central to both texts. If you're looking to save time, you can effectively ignore anything outside of this overlap, because although you could refer to it in your essays, it's not directly going to help you compare - so just concentrate on the stuff that you know will be relevant!

Where can I get practice prompts?
Since this is a new Area of Study, you unfortunately won't have many places to turn to for practice material. It's pretty much just last year's exam and the sample exam VCAA released, plus any additional bits and pieces your school provides for SAC practice. For some of the more popular texts, you may be able to find some other prompts online, but there aren't many available. So instead, you'll just have to write your own!

Don't worry, it's actually incredibly simple. All you have to do is play 'fill in the blanks' with the following sentences. Try to create a list of key themes and messages from the texts, and then just slot them into place. I'll go through some text-specific examples for each one
- Compare how the two texts examine the importance of ______ e.g. family, love, self-esteem, compassion, inner strength, communication, etc. etc. (pick any theme that's relevant, and you'll have as many practice prompts as you can dream of! :D )
- To what extent do the two texts endorse the idea that _______?  e.g. 'the journey is more important than the destination' (Tracks and Into the Wild)
- Discuss the significance of _______ and _______ in both texts. e.g. 'vengeance' and 'redemption' (Invictus and Ransom)
- Compare and contrast the ways in which _______ is portrayed in these two texts. e.g. 'oppression' (1984 and Stasiland)
- Discuss the ways in which these two texts explore the true meaning of _____. e.g. 'cultural identity' (Joyful Strains and The Namesake)
- Compare the extent to which these two texts suggest that ______ e.g. 'crisis brings out the worst of humanity' (Year of Wonders and The Crucible)
- Compare the ways that the two authors convey the significance of _____ e.g. 'female empowerment' (Bombshells and The Penelopiad)
- What do these two texts say about the consequences of ______ e.g. 'prejudice' (Black Diggers and The Longest Memory)
- Compare the similarities and differences in the way both texts explore the nature of _______ e.g. 'rebellion' (I Am Malala and Made in Dagenham)


SECTION C teaching you to trust no one

Is there anything I can memorise?
Not really. Definitions of persuasive devices shouldn't actually be stated in your essay, but they might help you to grasp the intent behind them. Aside from that, the exam is all unseen material, so whilst you can prepare and hope for the best for your T.R. and C.T. prompts, A.A. is going to require a lot more quick thinking.

Should I do the VCAA pieces, or others for practice?
I would work through the VCAA ones just to give yourself a sense of the fluctuating difficulty level: The 2008, 2010, 2012, and 2013 exams were all pretty easy. The 2009, 2014, 2015, 2016, and 2017 exams all had slightly more nuanced contentions. All of the exams from 2014 onwards have included comparative elements (i.e. more than one written piece). And we don't talk about 2011.

Beyond that, CSE and VATE exams are your best bet for ones that mirror VCAA's style, but you'll have to get copies off your teacher unless you want to pay for some yourself. There are also some some great resources on these forums if you're looking for additional material.
Remember VCAA has never relied on a lot of outside knowledge (beyond the fact that e-books exist, or that climate change is a thing) and they don't actually give you newspaper articles. Whilst reading the paper is a good exercise and can help hone your ability to analyse while reading, the exam material won't require any prior understanding.
What you're practising when writing A.A. pieces is just your skillset, and how well you can handle certain contentions, arguments, and devices.

What's the ideal word count/number of paragraphs
Analysing Argument pieces can be a bit shorter than your other essays since you're not expected to cover everything in the article. 800 words is sufficient to obtain high marks, but obviously if you're a quick writer then stretching yourself into the 1000+ territory gives you more of an opportunity to gain credit. Just don't overdo it; they're testing your ability to be selective too. Mentioning every single rhetorical question isn't exactly impressive, so organise your piece as best you can to avoid repetition.

MISCELLANEOUS:
INTERPRETING FEEDBACK what do you mean this isn't a 10??

From teachers
These people will have watched your academic trajectory all year, perhaps even longer than that, so they'll often have the best idea of your abilities. Most of them have years of experience, some are even assessors. That said, this isn't always the case. There are duds scattered around the state, so if you know their feedback is always unhelpfully vague and frustratingly contradictory, then it might be best to seek help elsewhere.
When it comes to working out what they're actually suggesting you improve on, it can take some effort to untangle this from the web of coffee stains, bad handwriting, and weird teacher-code abbreviations. Consulting with your teacher should always be your first resort, if that's an option. At this level, most will appreciate you taking time to sit down with them and go through your writing, strengths, and weaknesses. Be considerate though, as they do have many others they have to tend do, especially at this time of year.
Otherwise, decyphering their comments may take some time, but I guarantee it's worthwhile.
Take note of where they put the ticks; this helps you work out what you're doing well, which is just as important as knowing what you're doing badly. When isolating your mistakes, try to rationalise them. Don't just say 'oh I didn't use that quote properly,' actually think about why is was wrong, and what you can do to fix it (e.g. 'I integrated it poorly, it didn't make sense in that context. I should have built up my argument a bit more beforehand, then embedded it fluently into the sentence...')

From tutors
Though most can't boast the years of experience that regular teachers have, tutors can be helpful in taking you through your essay in the mind of an assessor. That's not to say tutoring is needed, especially if your teachers are happy to provide this feedback already, but either way, sitting down with someone and actually understanding the marking process can be beneficial

From students/peers
Believe it or not, this can be an invaluable learning process. Not only are friends and peers helpful when discussing texts and interpretations, but they can also help you work out where you're going wrong. Get someone to read through your piece (even if it's a family member who has no idea what the criteria are, just for the sake of clarity and expression.) See if there are any parts where they felt lost or confused. This can be especially good if you know you have trouble with grammar, run-ons, or fragmented sentences.

TIME CONSTRAINTS wibbly-wobbly... timey-wimey... stuff

3 hours huh?
At the end of the year you'll have three hours for three essays, but you're not restricted to one hour for each. So you can use 70 or 75 minutes for one task if there's another you can get done in 45/50. But for any essay, 1000 words (give or take a few hundred) is usually enough. If you're writing too much more, a lot of it will probably be either reiterating/rephrasing points you've already made, or too far removed from the core discussion. There's no strict word count, but it will annoy your assessors if they have to read 7 or 8 pages when 4 would have been sufficient.

To plan or not to plan
This is, of course, a matter of personal preference. Some people get by without writing anything down, others plan extensively and then churn out an essay in 40 minutes. If you are reliant on plans, try to minimise the amount of time you spend on them. Shorthand abbreviations will help heaps; there's no need to write out full character names of themes. Develop a system of codes now so that you won't have to waste time with full sentences later (eg. characters Amy, Morgan, and Lulu are simply A, M and L. Themes of justice, nature, and family are a star, a tree and a circle.)

EXAM DETAILS sorting out priorities - Hermione Granger style

Order? CAB? CBA?
Argument Analysis (C) should be the first thing you write - no exceptions. It's where you'll be spending most of your reading time, so it'd be a waste coming back to it an hour later when your brain is in a different place. Get it done early!
As to whether Text Response (A) or Comparing Texts (B) comes first, that's entirely up to you. Some people prefer to get their Text Response piece over and done with since those prompts may be more difficult, whereas others would rather tackle Comparing Texts since they may have more quotes memorised for that one.
Back in my day, I'd planned to do CAB, but I got some pretty tough prompts for both Section A and B. The Section A prompts were worse, though, so I decided to do Section B first in order to give myself more time to think about Section A (and so that I could boost my confidence by writing a decent Section B piece!) In the end, a plan is good, but flexibility is better.

Should I bring a dictionary?
Yes.

Water bottle?
More optional, but yeah, you'll probably get thirsty and it can help keep your energy up. Just be careful to remove all labels etc. and make sure it's a clear bottle.

What's the deal with watches?
You can bring in a watch (which I would recommend since you might be at the back of the room far away from a clock) but you'll have to take it off and leave it on your desk. You know, just in case you've smuggled in three essays under the wristband.
Digital watches are not allowed since they have alarm settings and/or beep on the hour. Some schools aren't so strict about this, but better to be on the safe side.

Phones?
Gtfo.

GETTING STRESSED dessertS gnitteG

I'm sure a lot of this will be stuff you've heard all year, but I'll reiterate it anyway because it's worth hearing. You are not your ATAR. You are not your study score. This system is unfair for a number of reasons, but that doesn't mean you can't learn to play by its rules and make it work for you.
Don't go overboard, or you run the risk of burnout.
Set manageable goals and study plans so that you don't freak yourself out by not making deadlines or being behind on your work.

To invoke the words of a particularly crass old ex-teacher of mine: "stress is just caused by giving a f***."
In more palatable terms, being worried about your grades and your future is a good thing. Letting these worries get the better of you, however, can be quite detrimental.

THINGS TO DO THAT AREN'T PRACTICE ESSAYS note: works best in conjunction with a hell of a lot of practice essays as well

Generating prompts
I would highly encourage you all to try this task. For anyone doing a Section A text in its 1st or 2nd year, this will probably be a necessity given the sparse resources available. For those with 3rd & 4th year texts, you're task is trying to come up with new and original prompts.
A good starting point would be to begin with these four categories: characters, themes, structural features, and views & values.
-For charaters, list all of the major ones in the text, possibly some minor ones, or a general category for 'others' (eg. for prompts like 'The minor characters in A Christmas Carol have the most influence over Scrooge' or 'It is the minor characters in This Boy's Life that show us the importance of family.')
-Do the same for themes. Try to approach it from all angles; VCAA are trying to trip you up, remember. Even if you have a seemingly surface level theme like 'justice' or 'family,' try and make this more complex. Break the theme up into different levels, then start examinine all its different components.
-Some texts lend themselves better to structural discussion than others, but everything on the list has at least one or two key features to discuss. Think about the importance of the form/genre, or the way the characters are presented and depicted in the language.
-Views and values will require a bit more effort. Taking into account all of these above ideas, what is the author trying to get across, and how/why is this done? There might be an outright rejection or condemnation, or the message might be a subtler, more ambiguous one. Either way, having a solid grasp of the purpose behind a text will help immensely when constructing a contention.

You can modify this format depending on your text. For example, Twelve Angry Men might get a little cluttered if you're fitting every juror into the character box, so perhaps break them up into groups, or have a separate section altogether. Contrarily, there aren't really 'characters' in the poetry texts, so those thematic and structural boxes will require more attention.
When I compiled one of these last year, I ended up putting everything on a big piece of butcher's paper (stolen from the art room) and I was constantly adding to it right up until the exam.
This might seem like a lot of effort to go to, considering you'll only end up getting two prompts to chose from, but this is a really helpful exercise in terms of generating ideas and working out which areas of the text you haven't dealt with yet.
In the end, my T.R. prompt still surprised me, but it was a lot easier to think about what I was being asked to discuss, and how I could shift my discussion to familiar territory.

Using others
Your peers can be of use in a variety of ways, so lets go through things temporally:

PAST STUDENTS:
By reading their work, you'll be able to get a sense for where they were at at this stage, and where they ended up study score-wise. They can also be good to talk to about general exam preparation: what they did, what they found worked or didn't work, what their friends did, how prepared they felt, their impressions of the exam. Basically just a reconnaissance thing, but it can help put your mind at ease. Going over their essays and notes (if you have access to a past-year 12) can also be helpful, otherwise general databases online, AN or just googling sample essays is equally effective.

CURRENT STUDENTS/PEERS:
These people are not your competition. They are your study-buddies. VCAA is the enemy, and you must conquer the beast together.
Bounce ideas off one another, mark each other's essays (nicely, but constructively) and debate topics. Even just general exam discussion (provided it doesn't descend into WE'RE ALL GOING TO FAIL madness) can help set your mind at ease.

FUTURE STUDENTS/OTHERS:
This is slightly less common, but something I found helpful. My little brother asked me what the point of Analysing Argument was (this was probably August of my VCE year) and I realised I had no idea how to explain it. As my close personal friend Albert once said,
(http://static.squarespace.com/static/50eca855e4b0939ae8bb12d9/t/5318c939e4b0ebfb9ed3b046/1394133329111/?format=750w)
NB Grandmother=Brother for the sake of the anecdote.
The very next day I went to my teacher and we went through everything from the start, and once I felt confident in the task, it became a lot easier to manage. You might think it's late in the year to start clarifying the criteria or the task, but it's better late than never, and there are always gaps in your knowledge to be filled.

SWOT-VAC + DAY BEFORE THE EXAM C-Day geddit, cause it's a day before D-Day ;D

Depending on your exam schedule, you'll probably be devoting a considerably amount of time during the SWOT-VAC week to your English studies. Don't ignore your other subjects though, especially if you're doing Psych, Eco, Bio, or Further. Your study timetable (or at least, the rough outline you have in your head of what you have to do and when) will depend on how confident you're feeling in each of your subjects. Even if you feel like you're set for English, I'd still recommend writing a bunch of practice essays/paragraphs/plans during SWOT-VAC since it's the last chance you'll have.

When it's all over...?
Don't let the post-exam discussions mess with your head. Getting paranoid about whether you answered that prompt properly or misquoted that line in the A.A. article isn't going to do you any good. By all means have a chat with your friends and bask in the knowledge that it's over!

But don't forget, you'll still have another 4 or 5 exams to get through. You're allowed to kick back for a little while; maybe take the afternoon off unless you've got another exam that week. Allow yourself time to de-English your brain, then you can have a proper cathartic bonfire night for all those practice essays after the exam period has finished.

And remember:
Title: Re: English Work Examples Directory
Post by: deekay on October 10, 2014, 10:34:27 pm
Topic : “Henry IV Part 1 showed us that while honour is important, it is not the only thing to consider in life. Discuss”

William Shakespeare's history play, King Henry IV Part 1, presents a thematic exploration of what determines the success of a monarch's kingship, and by extension, what is important to consider in one's way of life. Shakespeare suggests through the demise of Hotspur, the wit of Falstaff and the rise of Hal that honour can be essential if tempered with political shrewdness. Shakespeare crafts Hotspur’s death on stage, alongside Falstaff feigning death, in order to show the essential problem with seeking honour above all else ; Falstaff the 'counterfeit' lives while Hotspur, 'the theme of honour's tongue' is 'food for worms'. It is ultimately Hal's adoption of the better qualities of the three influences in his life - Hotspur as his 'foil', his father Henry and Falstaff - that allow him to 'rise from the ground like feathered Mercury' as a politically savvy and honourable young prince and a worthy successor to his father's throne.

Hotspur sees gaining honour as the single doctrine of a man's life ; as 'Mars in swaddling clothes' his quest to obtain eternal glory and admiration becomes his hubristic flaw, which leads to his inevitable downfall as he fails to recognise the traits of kingly grace. Through his 'glorious deeds' on the battlefield, Harry Percy becomes the 'king of honour' in his sphere of 'bloody noses and cracked crowns'. Shakespeare suggests that this emblematic adherence to the classic medieval paradigm of honour is an essentially flawed and narrow minded pursuit. His infatuation with the 'bidding honours' on his 'crest' progressively manifests itself into a flaw of his character that causes him to lose the respect of his followers in his reckless willingness to embrace death, shouting 'die all, die merrily' his men after failing to heed the warnings of his uncle and Vernon upon their attempts to convince Hotspur to act above the nature of a ‘wasp-stung and impatient fool’. The 'ever valiant and approved Scot"s blood boils at a chance to extend his honour when he receives the message that Northumberland's troops will not make it in time to aid him in battle, as it 'lends to a greater lustre and more great opinion... a larger dare to our enterprise'. The playwright reveals Hotspur as impetuous in seeking to augment his honour at the cost of his own life. However Harry Percy's view of honour is not the only view that is on display within the play. 

In the world of the tavern, Falstaff’s pragmatic and cynical view of honour allows Hal to consider how he can negotiate the honour and politics that are essential for a successful reign. Despite being seen as a ‘fat rogue’, ‘lacking honesty’ and ‘good fellowship, he typifies the view of honour that sees it as a mere embellishment of the suffering that it wreaks upon its victims; seeing it as meaningless death that is valuable only to ‘he who hath died on Wednesday.’ In his catechism, he rejects honour, defining it as a ‘mere scutcheon’ that is only ‘sensible to the dead’. This unorthodox view may be considered as shameful but it is his self indulgence driven by his ‘desire to give [him] life if [he] can save so’ that is present within Falstaff, an appreciation of life. Upon comparison against the countless deaths of men who will ‘fill pits as well as better’, Falstaff’s cunning wit allows him to live whilst others perish in an attempt to gain honour through political disputes. This appreciation of life and recognition of ‘civil butchery’ of politicians manifests in Hal, nurturing his own holistic view of honour as he indulges in his ‘vile participation’. Hal’s experiences that are shared with the ‘The ‘sword and buckler Prince of Wales’ develops a trait of steadfast temperance and grace as he ‘disposes’ of the traitor Douglas by announcing he is ‘ransomless and free’. Moreover, the ‘fat kidneyed rascal’’s rejection of honour causes Hal to become a leader driven by pure ambition to conduct himself upon nobility, grace and assertiveness rather than by greed or indulgence of self.

The ‘future King of England’s’ transformation into a balanced leader cannot be solely attributed to his newly developed view of honour, but also in his ability to demonstrate diplomatic skill. From the onset the Prince, who indulges in such ‘vulgar company’ admits that he has been a ‘truant to chivalry’  with his brow stained with ‘riot and dishonour’. However, Hal’s actions of decadence is revealed to be a facade that allows him to dichotomise his current ‘shadow of succession’ and his intent on ‘imitat[ing] the sun’ to become a radiant benevolent ruler. In the play’s only verse soliloquy in Act I Scene II, the prince’s desire to throw off his ‘loose behaviour’ and ‘pay the debt [he] never promised’ further encapsulates the foreshadowing of his impending transformation ‘redeeming time when men think least I [Hal] will’. His manipulation and tolerance of the ‘abominable misleader of youth’ displays a Machiavellian quality by using him as a medium into the sphere of commoners. Through this he attains a chameleonic trait that allows him to ‘drink with any tinker in his own language.’  Vernon’s observation that it’s ‘as if he mastered there a double spirit of teaching and of learning instantly’ accurately displays Hal not as a ‘nimble footed mad cap’ but as a future ruler who will be able to successfully adapt to the lower and higher ranks of society.

It is also Hal’s ability to deceive others that allows him to exercise and practise diplomacy and nobility that will prove a valuable skill when he ascends to the throne clothed in ‘sun-like majesty’. In a place where the noble class is rarely seen, the Boar’s Head Tavern, Hal readily displays this malleable nature. Despite his illusive facade to the ‘good lads of Eastcheap’ who are his ‘sworn brothers’, he displays an ulterior motive that allows him to later ‘command all the good lads of Eastcheap’. By lowering himself into the sphere of commoners, he indulges and in effect tempers the nobility and diplomacy that is essential to a successful ruler by manipulating the characters of the tavern from beneath his feigned ‘[truancy] to chivalry’. Hal exercises this power and tyranny of a king, bullying Francis and displaying the ability to conquer and intimidate, even robbing his ‘reverend Vice’ Falstaff. His ability to switch between tavern-speak and the language of the upper class slowly reveal his prowess in kingship through the ‘play extempore’ with Falstaff. His eloquence is on display as he seamlessly speaks the narrative tongue of the royal court as he easily adopts the role of King, foreshadowing his later ‘angelic’ reformation ‘glittering o’er [his] fault’. His ability to transverse between the two societal spheres extends to Shakespeare’s notion of a masked and manipulated kingship that assists in the reign of a monarch.

Ultimately, it is through Hal’s ability to not only obtain honour on ‘Percy’s head’ to win respect, but also to adopt the roles of a shrewd politician and a man of compassion that enables him to reform successfully and imitate the sun in his kingship. Whilst Hotspur embodies the importance of respect, his self subjugation to the medieval code of honour becomes his downfall with his deficiency to demonstrate kingly grace. Furthermore, Hal’s exposure to Falstaff’s ridicule and unorthodox view of honour drives Hal to appreciate life but also mould his ability to demonstrate necessary compassion. Shakespeare’s allowance for Hal to break the barrier between the world of the royal court and the tavern, enables the Prince to amalgamate the importance of honour but also appreciate the virtue of grace, occasionally renouncing honour that allow him to be more than ‘heir apparent.’

Word Count: 1,279 Words


Title: Re: English Resources and Sample High Scoring Responses
Post by: brenden on November 18, 2014, 05:27:09 pm
Here's an essay on Batman. Wrote it for a SAC, scored 50/30 for an 82 study score and like 4 or 5 Premier's awards.

Contrary to what many believe, Batman is a political video of the greatest composition. Director Chris Norlan utilises The Dark Knight Trilogy as a foreboding social commentary whilst already reinforcing the popular notion that good things come in threes.

Despite portraying the masked Bruce Wayne as a fundamentally altruistic hero, Nolan actually casts great aspersions on a modern society's conception of vigilante justice. In having a silly pleb ask Batman "What gives you the right? What's the difference between you and me?", Nolan explores the corruption of justice that occurs when ordinary citizens, no different from any other, spurn the legislature and judiciary by making themselves the sole arbiter of justice. However, Nolan demonstrates how justice is a spectrum: one end are the vigilantes dedicated to fixing sociopolitical issues, and on the other end are those who remain wilfully ignorant of the inherently concerning nature of social issues and subsequently contribute to the problem. The Joker's suggestion "Let's put a smile on that face" serves the symbolise the way in which a large portion of society would prefer to force a smile than to think seriously about the fundamentally corrupt nature of Gotham. Ultimately, Nolan exemplifies the fact that "it's not who [Batman] is underneath, but [what he does] that defines him"; however, Nolan contends that Batman should in fact be defined as a criminal like any other. Whilst Batman surely does great things, he does so based upon his own subjective conception of justice and thus, in some ways, he is similar to Hitler: the "hero Gotham deserves". Hence, Nolan provides a distinctly political message and encourages the audience to stay chill.

However, Nolan extends his political discussion of justice far further than simply the law itself, imbuing his trilogy with a subtly Marxist message for distributive justice. Through featuring the vast wealth of his sexy protagonist, Nolan features the way in which the 'one percent' "live so large and leave so little" for the poorest of society. Here, Nolan utterly condemns the disproportionate distribution of wealth throughout Gotham, insinuating that the city's corruption is actually a result of two things: greed, on the behalf of the rich, and a desperate, crime-inducing need on behalf of the poor. Further, Nolan encourages a Marxist revolution as the Joker burns a pile of money claiming "All you care about is money. This city deserves a better class of criminal". Here, "class" is a double entendre, most obviously referring to the quality of Gotham's criminals, but subtly referring to the criminal nature of the upper class whilst encouraging the proletariat to revolt and create a class that Gotham deserves. That is, a class defined by an equal distribution of funds throughout society. Nolan further reinforces this notion through Bane's attack on the stock exchange, symbolising the way in which the audience should respond to unfair monetary distributions. Ultimately, Nolan provides a distinctly Marxist political message, encouraging the audience to participate in a class uprising.

Further, Nolan provides an overarching account of the political left's superiority, glorifying liberalism at the expense of political conservatism. In highlighting that the protagonist is "whatever Gotham needs [him] to be", Nolan explores the perpetually fluid nature of a society that is constantly changing and requiring adaption. Through exemplifying Batman's readiness to change to suit the needs of Gotham, Nolan endorses political progression that moves forward to suit the needs of society. Batman reinforces this through claiming that he is "not afraid, [he's] angry": not afraid of change, and angry at the slow rate of sociopolitical progression throughout history. In a world marred by self-interest and conservatism, Nolan gives hope to society through promising that "the dawn is coming", just as the real hero of the trilogy, Harvey Dent, promises a better future for Gotham city. However, Nolan does not simply encourage the political left through celebrating liberalism; he also outright condemns political conservatism. In referencing popular conservative politicians, Nolan laments that "Some men aren’t looking for anything logical like money. They can’t be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn". Here, the world burning is used as a metaphor for the perpetual damage done by archaic political beliefs, and Nolan portrays conservatism as a belief that water should not be thrown on the fire. Thus, Nolan imbues his trilogy with a distinct pro-leftist political message and urges his audience to be socially conscious and question the status quo.

Ultimately, The Dark Knight Trilogy is a series of movies deeply concerned with the sociopolitical affairs of society that encourages its audience towards a healthier conception of justice. Nolan ultimately endorses a Marxist political revolution whilst also providing a more moderate political liberalism as an alternative to such radical action. Hence, contrary to what many believe, Batman is a political video of the greatest composition intended to enlighten its audience on social issues.
Title: Re: English Resources and Sample High Scoring Responses
Post by: literally lauren on February 22, 2015, 12:49:24 pm
EAL Resources

This is a collection of helpful resources and general tips for those studying English as an Second/Additional Language.
I'll try to keep the language as simple as possible, since I know there are some (not all) students who may struggle with this.

And I'll preface everything by saying that I haven't done the EAL course myself, and so most of this information is based on talking to students and teachers who have. If your teacher says something different, you should probably trust them. Unlike a lot of my other posts where I say 'don't stress, this is what the examiners want,' I'm not quote that familiar with EAL, so work with your teachers as much as possible.

If you're really stuck for advice, or something doesn't seem right, feel free to post a question on the forums and I'll do my best to clear up any misconceptions where I can.

The first thing to note is that on the surface, EAL and English aren't really that different. They're marked separately, and there are slightly different standards, but the courses are very similar.

The mainstream English exam consists of:
- One Text Response essay (Section A)
- One Context piece (Section B)
- One Language Analysis (Section C)
and you're expected to write between 800-1000 words for each.

The EAL exam consists of:
- One Text Response essay (Section A)
- One Context piece (Section B)
- One Note-form summary of a persuasive text (Section C - Part 1)
- One Language Analysis (Section C - Part 2)
The recommended word length for Sections A and B are around 800; the Note-form should be roughly 3/4 of a page; and the Language Analysis is around 600 words.

Let's break this up into each Section to address the similarities and differences.

Section A.
You will study two texts throughout the year (one in Semester 1, one in Semester 2) and you will have a SAC on each text. Then, in the exam, you get to choose one text to write on. You are then given a choice of two prompts. These prompts will be the same as the mainstream English ones, but you're only marked against the EAL cohort.

Even though your EAL class might be studying different text to the mainstream English kids at your school, the texts you're studying are still from the one list, which means there will be resources available. For most texts, just googling 'vce english >text name<' and then 'resources' or 'summary' or 'analysis' should get you plenty to read. If you can't find much, your text is probably quite new, and so you might have to wait until about mid-year for things to be posted online.

Alternatively, your school can usually provide you with help if you need, and if you could always buy a commercial study guide (eg. from companies like VATE, Insight, Neap, etc.) if you don't understand the text.

Aside from that, all the resources and explanations you see on ATAR Notes for mainstream English Text Response will apply to you too.

Section B.
This is also very similar to mainstream English. Your school chooses a Context (either 'The Imaginative Landscape,' 'Whose Reality?' 'Encountering Conflict,' or 'Exploring Issues of Identity and Belonging') and will also choose one or two set-texts. (I believe it's meant to be two, but I know many schools that bend the rules and only study one :P)
You'll have two SACs throughout the year, one per text, and on the exam you get to choose one.

Remember, you can't treat Section B like it's a Text Response though. You can't write a whole essay just about the book; you're meant to use some ideas from the text, but also use other literature, historical events, political/social issues, or your own personal anecdotes.

You also don't have to write an "essay," you could write a speech, a short story, a personal reflection, a series of letters or journal entries, anything! You can experiment with different styles throughout the year, and your teacher will probably recommend one or two.

Context is the trickiest area for a lot of people since there's not much structure, and they're assessing your writing ability as well as your ideas. So it's important that you're writing what you're comfortable with, while also fulfilling the criteria of the task.

Section C.
This is the area with the most changes from mainstream English.

For starters, the article you'll have to analyse in the exam will be modified. It's on the same topic as the mainstream English ones, and has the same contention, but it is edited down to about 600-700 words rather than the ~1200 word one for mainstream students. This makes sense when you realise you have about an hour to do a summary and an analysis, so they make sure the article isn't too long for the time allocated.

Let's deal with the note-form summary first.
Your priority here is to summarise the main arguments in the text. Here is a recommended process for doing this:

Some Samples (2014)
Article & comment from the exam
Exploring our dreams
Yvette Yergon

Space is not as far away as it seems. If you live in Victoria, you are closer to space than you are to Canberra. Space is only about 160 kilometres straight up. I’ve been thinking about space exploration this week after I had the pleasure of visiting an exhibition presented by an international group known as Kolombus-21. This is a group of influential thinkers who have been encouraging governments across the world to work together on space exploration in the twenty-first century.
After looking at the displays in the exhibition I was reminded of how inspiring exploration can be. It seems to be in human nature to dream about what’s beyond the world we know. Setting out to explore the unknown is the biggest thing we do. After all, the great fifteenth-century explorer Christopher Columbus set off in a wooden ship, powered only by the wind, with only his own skill and courage and the stars to guide him. That’s pretty inspiring.
Six centuries later, most of us rightly admire the bravery of astronauts who have taken the risk of exploring beyond Earth. But space exploration costs a lot of money. Governments need reasons other than the thrill of discovery if they are going to spend the huge amounts of money needed to continue exploring in space. Perhaps there’s a new mining boom waiting to happen in space, with people looking for more of the minerals we already know and maybe some we haven’t dreamed of yet.
Evidently there are almost unlimited mineral resources out there in space, waiting to be claimed, and nobody owns them. The United Nations was surprised recently when a company tried to claim ownership of an asteroid. There aren’t any laws about property ownership in space. It is easy to understand why people might be interested in these lifeless rocks. Recently scientists reported on an asteroid that contains about 10,000 tons of gold and even more platinum, to the value of about a trillion dollars. Unfortunately it is about 32 million kilometres away, but that doesn't seem to stop people dreaming.
One day such dreams might come true. This exhibition helped me to realise that it is important to search for new answers to our problems to protect the future of life on Earth. That means taking risks and meeting the unexpected. Columbus certainly met the unexpected. He expected to sail through to India but bumped into North and South America instead. And of course good things can come out of exploring the unknown. Many countries have spent a lot on space exploration and plenty of products we use today were developed from research associated with space programs. These benefits could not have been predicted at the time of this investment in space exploration.
Kolombus-21 values international cooperation. Space exploration used to be more competitive than cooperative. That wasn’t very helpful. Now we have an international space station supported by 15 nations, so now is the time to explore further and turn the unknown into useful knowledge. There’s a strong view that it’s time to inspire the next generation of scientists. Every government knows we’ve got to do this, just as we’ve got to invest in the next generation of technology. That’s where the answers to the world’s big problems are going to come from.
The tour guide explained that the group’s name, Kolombus-21, was chosen to honour Columbus but also because it means ‘dove’, the international symbol of peace. I can see the point. Future space exploration must be done for the whole planet and for peaceful purposes. Perhaps with big dreamers like Kolombus-21 working towards this goal we can be confident that it will happen in this way.

{Letter to the editor}
Off the planet
Peter Laikis
Yvette Yergon seems to think we can solve the big problems of the world, such as hunger, disease and the environment, by leaving Earth and finding somewhere better. She wants governments to spend trillions of dollars based on this false belief.
Wake up, Yvette! When did governments or kings or emperors ever spend money on exploring for peaceful purposes or the good of the world? Columbus’s ships were driven by greed as well as wind. People’s dreams were of more and more wealth. Nothing seems to have changed. Today’s challenge is to make sure that the precious planet we call home doesn’t become like a lifeless asteroid.
You know what I find truly inspiring? The idea of getting all the governments in the world to agree to keep working together on our problems on Earth, one by one, until they are solved. This might be only a dream now – but it’s a dream worth pursuing.
Sample summary 1
{apologies for poor quality scan :/}(http://i.imgur.com/JzgqEyB.png)
Sample summary 2
(http://imgur.com/QofrcJd.png)



Now let's deal with the analysis essay.

The instructions say to analyse how three main points in the article and the visual are used to persuade the audience. If you're given multiple articles, you should analyse both. This isn't a direct instruction, but it will definitely make your piece stronger. Try to make your analysis reflect the same length as the articles you get. For instance, if the main piece takes up a page and a half, and there are two comments that take up a quarter each, your essay should spend most of the time talking about the main piece, but mention each comment for a few sentences. It wouldn't make sense to write 500 words on a little comment, and only mention the big piece once or twice.

Technically speaking, you don't have to mention/compare the texts, but you have to talk about the images. The instructions say to talk about written and visual features, and it's very hard to score above a 7/10 if you haven't discussed the images at all.

Furthermore, since you're analysing three main arguments, you should probably use the ones from the note-form summary. Your essay will therefore have the following structure:
Note: in reading through the Assessor's Reports, I've noticed a very common problem in the analysis is that people talk about whether the article is persuasive or not. Don't do this! You shouldn't be writing things like 'The author successfully persuades the audience' or 'this technique is very effective.' That's not the instruction. You have to write how language persuades, not whether it works. Assume the language is persuasive, and just write about how it works.

Sample analysis 1 - approximate score: 9/10
Yvette Yergon’s newspaper article ‘‘Exploring our dreams’’ discusses the potential rewards of space exploration and contends the need to promote it whilst Peter Laikis’ letter-to-the editor article opposes Yvette’s view.

Yvette believes that space exploration is an inspiring challenge that humanity must embark on. She claims it to be the ‘‘biggest thing we can do’’ to portray the scale of space exploration as being the peak of human achievement as a whole in an effort to unify and inspire the reader to imagine the wonder and thrills of space exploration. Her use of Christopher Columbus as a source of evidence to suggest human feats of the past and her reiteration as space travel being even more extravagant is intended to appeal to the reader’s sense of adventure and human pride, that if we can set out to realise the dream of space exploration it will cement the greatness of the human race and our constant drive to ‘‘meet the unexpected’’ essential for progression. The use of the first image of a ship in the sea with the backdrop of a planet is implying that there are greater worlds beyond our planet awaiting exploration and that the next step to surpassing Columbus’ achievement is to delve into space exploration. Hence the reader is positioned to see the potential rewards of space exploration.

Furthermore, Yvette asserts that space can yield useful resources for humans. Her evidence of an asteroid containing ‘‘trillion dollars’’ worth of minerals is intended to arouse a sense of greed in the reader to portray the world beyond earth as harbouring riches which could reap massive benefits to human civilisation. The use of the image of a mind map connecting the space suit with everyday items such as GPS and solar cells are attempting to make the reader understand such technologies owe their origin to space research in an attempt to highlight the significance of space research and our continual need to do so in the future if humans are to be rewarded with more technological luxuries like enhanced GPS systems or medical imaging. The image is intended to portray space exploration as not just effecting the world outside earth but can also directly effect and enhance our daily lives. Thus the reader is more likely to see the potential benefits of space exploration and align with Yvette contention.

Peter Laikis’ letter however opposes Yvette’s notion by saying space exploration is a misguided idea. Peter declares Yvette’s belief of curing ‘‘hunger, disease and the environment’’ as a ‘‘false belief’’ because people are driven by ‘‘greed’’ and not for the ‘‘good of the world.’’ Peter’s direct accusation to Yvette ‘‘Wake up, Yvette’’ portrays her as a dreamy and misguided individual with a false hope in humanity which Peter attempts to correct by implying the real truth where people’s dreams were of ‘‘more and more wealth’’. This portrays humanity in a very negative light and attempts to crush any raised hopes of the audience from Yvette’s article by reiterating to the reader that ‘‘nothing seems to have changed’’ and hereby suggest that space exploration is not a good idea. He stresses there are more important challenges such as ensuring our current planet does not become a ‘‘lifeless asteroid’’ to instill a sense of fear in the audience by suggesting the destruction of humanity which will result if we pursue the ‘‘false belief’’ of space exploration. The reader is made to realise there are more pressing matters to resolve before humans pursue the ambitious task of space exploration and is therefore attempting to position the reader to align against Yvette’s contention.
Sample analysis 2 - approximate score: 5/10
The article “Exploring our dreams” by Yvette Yergon present her response towards the exhibition presented by Kolombus-21. She uses enthusiastic and optimistic tone to make the reader feel enthusiastic towards her point of supporting and improving space exploration.

Yergon firstly present her arguments that space exploration is inspiring and a dream come true. She supported her argument through the use of generalisation such as “seems to be in human nature to dream about...” The generalisation of everyone being a human will “dream what’s beyond the world” invokes the reader’s memory of childhood, dreaming about some conceal things that are thought to never be able to come true. This persuade the reader to think that it is now time to support the writer’s point of view. Similarly, Yergon also uses famous figure such as Christopher Columbus as an example to support her argument. This technique allows the reader to feel the validity of her point and therefore agreeing with the writer.

Secondly, Yergon proposes that the are many resources to be discovered in space and by supporting space exploration, people will attain an “unlimited mineral resources.” She supported her argument through the use of evidence such as “an asteroid that contains about 10,000 tons of gold” and “a company tried to claim ownership of an asteroid.” This allows the reader to feel that Yergon’s point of view is objective rather than subjective therefore can be trusted and gaining the support of the reader. Furthermore, the writer also appeal to hip-pocket such as using the value of the asteroid for “about 2 trillion dollars.” This appeal to readers and make the reader happy that if support was given, trillion of dollars could be up for grab making the reader in sharing the same point of view as Yergon.

Lastly, Yergon proposes that space exploration could assist in protecting the “future life on Earth” as well as for a better future. She supported her argument through the use of different images in which an astronaut picture has many lines pointed out to different aspect in life such as solar cells, GPS (Global positioning system) and medical imaging. By having lines of all these technology pointing to the astronaut, it invoke the readers sense of trust and agree to the advice given by Yergon. Similarly, Yergon also appeals to sense of loyalty and patriotism such as “space station supported by 15 nation” and “every government knows” these appeal to the readers sense of patriotism that if other nations are supporting it why shouldn’t our nation also support the view and have the best for our nation. Thus gaining the reader support the Yergon’s point to support space exploration.




Helpful Links

Here are a list of general (non-VCE-specific) resources for EAL learners. I've put these in rough order so the ones at the top are very basic, and the ones at the end are slightly more complicated.

http://esl.fis.edu/vocab/
This is a good site for understanding and improving vocab, from the very basic (ie. common word lists, simple grammar) to the more English-oriented stuff (eg. academic words, comprehending persuasive texts.) It's also very well structured, so I'd recommend starting with this source.

http://www.5minuteenglish.com/articles.htm
This has some general information about effective ways to improve language abilities. The first part isn't too useful, but if you scroll down you'll find a good essay about how to gradually improve in different ways.

http://www.eslgold.com/speaking/phrases.html
Again, this one has a lot of very simple stuff (eg. conversation words, nouns/verbs/adjectives) and if you scroll down to the 'Low/High Intermediate' sections, there are some helpful explanations for writing pieces that might be helpful for Sections A and B, as well as some comprehension links that would be good for Section C.

http://www.paperpenalia.com/handwriting.html
Just in case you have trouble with handwriting, here is a pretty extensive guide for improving.

http://www.spellzone.com/unit02/page1.cfm
http://grammar.yourdictionary.com/spelling-and-word-lists/Improve-Spelling.html
http://www.word-buff.com/improve-spelling.html
A bunch of sites to help improve spelling, and
a list of the most common misspelled/mixed-up words
their (possessive form of they)
there (in that place)
they're (contraction of they are)
accept (a verb, meaning to receive or to admit to a group)
except (usually a preposition, meaning but or only)
who's (contraction of who is or who has)
whose (possessive form of who)
its (possessive form of it)
it's (contraction of it is or it has)
your (possessive form of you)
you're (contraction of you are)
affect (usually a verb, meaning to influence)
effect (usually a noun, meaning result)
than (used in comparison)
then (refers to a time in the past)
were (form of the verb to be)
we're (contraction of we are)
where (related to location or place)

http://www.lib.uoguelph.ca/get-assistance/writing/grammar-style/improving-your-sentence-structure
This is a great site that explains the foundations of a sentence (ie. what's a noun, what's a verb) all the way up to the complex stuff (eg. subordination, varying sentence length.) There's also a very good explanation of what a 'sentence fragment' is; this is a very common area of weakness in both EAL and mainstream English.

http://grammar.about.com/od/developingessays/a/quicktips.htm
Same as above, only this site has links to about a hundred different pages explaining all the different concepts. Use the above link first, and then uses this one if you need more information.

http://www.smart-words.org/quotes-sayings/idioms-meaning.html
http://www.usingenglish.com/reference/idioms/
Both of these sites are about 'idioms:' expressions and phrases that have meaning, but might not be obvious, especially to non-native speakers. For example, the idiom 'far cry from' is used to convey how different two things are (eg. 'My marks this year are a far cry from what my parents wanted.') It has nothing to do with actual crying.
Whilst you should probably avoid these phrases in a Section A or C essay, you could definitely use them for Section B, and they might actually appear in the articles in the exam for Section C, so it pays to be familiar with the major ones.
Title: Re: English Resources and Sample High Scoring Responses
Post by: literally lauren on April 06, 2015, 10:23:11 pm
VCE Text Podcasts

This is mainly for the benefit of those studying all the new-ish texts on the list, (esp. Burial Rights and White Tiger for which there is very little available -.-)
*edit: more are being added every week, hopefully they'll all be covered! I'll update this as they crop up. They kind of fizzled out last year but they've started up again recently so hopefully they keep going*
but I thought I'd make some links here just in case anyone hadn't found these little sound bites from ABC Radio. This show is on every Sunday, and they have some general exam preparation tips but it's mostly stuff you will have heard before.

Admittedly if you've got a halfway decent teacher in class then you probably will have covered the content they go through here, but seeing as they're often interviewing VCE assessors (some of which write practice exams or even assist in the process of writing the actual exam) it might be worth a listen.

All About Eve: link

Burial Rights: link

Cat's Eye: link

Henry IV Part 1: link

I for Isobel: link

In the Country of Men: link

Medea: link

Mabo: link

No Sugar: link

Stasiland: link

The Complete Maus: link

The Thing Around Your Neck: link

The White Tiger: link

This Boy's Life: link

Will You Please Be Quiet Please: link

Wuthering Heights: link

Also some Context bits and pieces:

The Imaginative Landscape: link

Peripheral Light: link

The View from Castle Rock: link

Death of a Salesman: link

Foe: link

The Lot: link

Encountering Conflict: link

The Quiet American: link

Life of Galileo: link

A Separation: link

Every Man in this Village is a Liar: link

Belonging: link

Mind of a Thief: link

Skin: link

Summer of the Seventeenth Doll: link



BONUS: the head of VCAA discussing 'What to do if it all goes wrong' link
Title: Re: English Resources and Sample High Scoring Responses
Post by: heids on July 24, 2015, 12:23:47 pm
Happened to realise that I wrote this text response essay a year ago today, July 24. Such nostalgia.  Anyways, posting it 100% unedited with some bolded feedback to give you an authentic idea of a fairly high-scoring response at (exactly :P) this time of year.  A Christmas Carol was my Unit 4 text; it's not the most brilliant essay, but good for me, probably a 9ish effort, and hopefully helpful :D

A reminder that reading essays isn't purely for plagiarising the ideas, so it is helpful to read essays from texts you're not studying.  Deconstructing and taking notes on high-scoring essays is a very helpful exercise in learning about quote embedding, structure, intros and conclusions, topic sentences, and any other issues you might specifically want help with!

994 words, 1 hr 15 min handwritten including planning/editing

Spoiler
'Despite being out of practice, it was a marvellous laugh.'  Humour is a central aspect of 'A Christmas Carol'.  Discuss.

By replacing agrarian lifestyles with machinery, the 1800s Industrial Revolution caused rapid population increase in Victorian London, exacerbating the disparity between rich and poor.  Against this backdrop of suffering and destitution, Charles Dickens in his novella 'A Christmas Carol' nonetheless paints a vibrant and family-oriented society powered by the festivities of Christmas.  For Dickens, this joy is fuelled by the ability to view the world as a child, using humour to transcend the bleakness of life.  Indeed, his narrative voice's rich word-plays engage the audience, enabling him to present the harshness of life in a nonetheless appealing way.  Yet perhaps the strongest role of humour in 'A Christmas Carol' is its very absence, as Dickens' darkening tone presents a harsh indictment of Victorian society heightened by the contrast.  Ultimately for Dickens, with the absence of a childlike appreciation of the world, society is in the thralls of 'Doom'. 

For Dickens, the vibrancy and family oriented nature of society is derived from shared laughter.  In the streets, the people are able to transcend the “misanthropic” weather, symbolic of the bleak coldness of life, by exchanging “a facetious snowball”.  The atmosphere is one of happiness solely because they are able to share humour.  Dickens' narrative voice communicates this sense of joy entailed by humour in his ecstatically descriptive comparison of Christmas foods in the shops with “apoplectic gentlemen” and other humorous contrasts.  It is almost as though this childlike delight is the creator of the “kinder words” and family feeling present in society at Christmas time.  Dickens corroborates this impression with the “irresistibly contagious” laughter of Fred's party.  Rather than taking offence at Scrooge's repetitious refusal to have a “merry Christmas”,  Fred transcends hatred and pain by humorously describing Scrooge as a “fierce” sort of “bear”.  Through such amusement and their childlike participation in “blind man's buff” and “twenty questions”, Dickens celebrates the potential of humour in averting anger and instead promoting joy and fellowship.  For Dickens, Scrooge's redemption is seen to be complete when he can not only appreciate others' joy, as he does at Fred's party, but actively seek and initiate humour.  His repeated “chuckles” in Stave Five as he feels “merry as a schoolboy” both rejoice the readers and signal that he has once more embraced his childhood and the ability to view life with a child's humorous perspective.  Indeed, his 'joke' of sending the anonymous turkey to the Cratchits and pretending to Bob to be the man he once was, imply this new childish humour is central in reintegrating him into humanity and responsibility to others in society. 

Dickens' humour-rich narrative voice moreoever enables him to present his social agenda in a palatable, even engaging, manner.  The narrator apparently takes pleasure in violently accusing Scrooge in Stave One, using dry wordplays to portray the extremity of his isolation from society and cold-heartedness.  Dickens is therefore able to criticise the extreme avariciousness of the rich businessmen of his era, who unlike snow “never” “come down handsomely”.  Dickens further suggests Scrooge's “evil eye” is worse than “no eye”, or blindness.  His usage of humour and often ridiculous metaphoric comparisons, then, enable a scathing, if highly ridiculous, portrait of the capitalist views of higher classes.  They furthermore ensure that Scrooge is not an object of evil or hatred, but merely a ridiculous figure who is able to change.  Moreover, Dickens describes Bob's meagre income as “but fifteen copies of his Christian name”, enabling to draw out Bob's ill-treatment and penury in a poignant way that the readers will remember.  Even the way Scrooge's words, “the surplus population”, are repeated verbatim in different circumstances, is a humorous cut at Scrooge's Malthusian philosophy, making the reader laugh at the inconsistency and weakness of this selfish worldview.  Overall, Dickens' tone of humour laden with puns and jokes effectively engages his reader, lightening his harsh social commentaries to make them more acceptable and memorable.

Yet to some extent, this harsh commentary for Dickens is truly serious: the contrast between the prevailing light-hearted tone and his increasingly darkening voice in Staves 3 and 4 indeed heightens his indictment.  Although the Cratchits, like Fred's family, are “contented with themselves and each other”, humour is not apparent in Dickens' voice as in Fred's richer and brighter world.  With the shadow of Tiny Tim, crippled and trapped in an “iron frame” to represent the lower classes trapped in a cycle of poverty, their world is sombre and increasingly dark as Stave Three draws to a close.  Rather than joy generated by humour, Dickens intends the author to feel sympathy for their pathetic and joyless life, with the “empty corner” and “crutch without an owner”.  For Dickens, it is the upper classes' treatment of them that ensures Tiny Tim will die and robs them of the delight and humour they would otherwise share.  The initially “jovial” Ghost of Christmas Present furthermore transforms to  harsh social commentary, as he predicts “Doom” for society with the presence of “Want” and “Ignorance”.  Stave Four, centring on Scrooge's “den of infamous resort” and finally Scrooge's “tombstone” is grim and cheerless, presenting an appalling picture of the “greasy offal” that surrounds the lowest classes.  For Dickens, in the face of anguish and death, no humour is possible.  The harsh, bleak nature of his descriptions awaken the audience to the seriousness of the “Doom” looming over society if change does not occur.  Indeed, if societal change does not occur, Dickens' Christmas-time image of joyful society will be engulfed in bleakness.

The upper classes' treatment of some, Dickens demonstrates, is indeed bereaving them of joy and humour.  Yet for most, delight and happiness, born of a childlike attitude to life, is attainable.  For Dickens, once his capitalist society enmeshed in gain from the Industrial Revolution realises that money is not the central aspect of life, and instead open themselves to truly appreciating the joys of life, “Doom” will be averted.  Sharing humour as a family is integral to a vibrant society.

'Despite being out of practice, it was a marvellous laugh.'  Humour is a central aspect of 'A Christmas Carol'.  Discuss.

By replacing agrarian lifestyles with machinery, the 1800s Industrial Revolution caused rapid population increase in Victorian London, exacerbating the disparity between rich and poor.  Against this backdrop of suffering and destitution, Charles Dickens in his novella 'A Christmas Carol' underline, don't put inverted commas round, text name throughout nonetheless paints a vibrant and family-oriented society powered by the festivities of Christmas.  For Dickens, this joy is fuelled by the ability to view the world as a child, using humour to transcend the bleakness of life.  Indeed, his narrative voice's rich word-plays engage the audience, enabling him to present the harshness of life in a nonetheless appealing way.  Yet perhaps the strongest role of humour in 'A Christmas Carol' is its very absence, as Dickens' darkening tone presents a harsh indictment of Victorian society heightened by the contrast interesting/insightful idea that challenges the prompt, but could be expressed better to make more sense.  Ultimately for Dickens, with the absence of a childlike appreciation of the world, society is in the thralls of 'Doom'.  This intro signposts too strongly.  It has three separate sentences that essentially state explicitly what each paragraph will be about – which can lead to repetitive topic sentences, a restricted focus, limited development through the essay, and the examiner getting bored of being told something too often.  There also doesn't seem to be one explicit thesis statement.  A thorough, well-written intro nonetheless.

For Dickens, the vibrancy and family-oriented nature of society is derived from shared laughter.  In the streets, the people are able to transcend the “misanthropic” weather, symbolic of the bleak coldness of life, by exchanging “a facetious snowball”.  The atmosphere is one of happiness solely because they are able to share humour. Acknowledging multiple possible interpretations, ‘It could be seen as’ or something, could strengthen this.  Dickens' narrative voice communicates this sense of joy entailed by humour in his ecstatically descriptive comparison of Christmas foods in the shops with “apoplectic gentlemen” and other humorous contrasts.  It is almost as though this childlike delight is the creator of the “kinder words” and family feeling present in society at Christmas time. Nice insight!  This stuff shows a ‘feel’ for the author’s voice and language usage, which examiners will like.  Dickens corroborates this impression with good linking between examples, gives a sense of flow and ‘building’ ideas in the paragraph the “irresistibly contagious” laughter of Fred's party.  Rather than taking offence at Scrooge's repetitious refusal to have a “merry Christmas”, Fred transcends hatred and pain by humorously describing Scrooge as a “fierce” sort of “bear”.  Through such amusement and their childlike participation in “blind man's buff” and “twenty questions”, Dickens celebrates the potential of humour in averting anger and instead promoting joy and fellowship.  Linking word could help the flow hereFor Dickens, Scrooge's redemption is seen to be complete when he can not only appreciate others' joy, as he does at Fred's party, but actively seek and initiate humour.  His repeated “chuckles” in Stave Five as he feels “merry as a schoolboy” both rejoice the readers and signal that he has once more embraced his childhood and the ability to view life with a child's humorous perspective.  Indeed, his 'joke' of sending the anonymous turkey to the Cratchits and pretending to Bob to be the man he once was, imply this new childish humour is central in reintegrating him into humanity and responsibility to others in society. 
Solid paragraph (the best in the essay, imo).
The essay never deals with the quote involved in the prompt; this is essential.

Dickens' humour-rich narrative voice moreoever I still remember laughing at my teacher’s comment, ‘speling’ :P enables him to present his social agenda in a palatable, even engaging, manner.  The narrator apparently takes pleasure in violently accusing Scrooge in Stave One, using dry wordplays to portray the extremity of his isolation from society and cold-heartedness. Good references to metalanguage. Dickens is therefore able to criticise the extreme avariciousness of the rich businessmen of his era, who unlike snow “never” “come down handsomely”.  Dickens further suggests Scrooge's “evil eye” is worse than “no eye”, or blindness.  His usage of humour and often ridiculous metaphoric comparisons, then, enable a scathing, if highly ridiculous, portrait of the capitalist views of higher classes.  They furthermore ensure that Scrooge is not an object of evil or hatred, but merely a ridiculous figure who is able to change.  Moreover, Dickens describes Bob's meagre income as “but fifteen copies of his Christian name”, enabling to draw out Bob's ill-treatment and penury in a poignant way that the readers will remember.  Even the way Scrooge's words, “the surplus population”, are repeated verbatim in different circumstances, is a humorous cut at Scrooge's Malthusian philosophy, good reference to historical context/views making the reader laugh at the inconsistency and weakness of this selfish worldview.  This paragraph doesn’t develop well; it’s simply a list of different examples where the author uses wordplay, interspersed with examples of the messages these teach.  The flow is also a bit choppy – the sentences aren’t quite structured so the ideas flow well, and could be rearranged to make it cleaner and clearer.  Linking words seem to be used like sticky-tape to tenuously glue them together. Overall, Dickens' tone of humour laden with puns and jokes effectively engages his reader, lightening his harsh social commentaries to make them more acceptable and memorable. Final sentence repeats the topic sentence in different words, so there’s no sense of ‘progression’ and building of the argument – just repetition.  In terms of structure, this is the weakest paragraph.

Yet to some extent, this harsh commentary for Dickens is truly serious: the contrast between the prevailing light-hearted tone and his increasingly darkening voice in Staves 3 and 4 indeed heightens his indictment. Very well linked to the paragraph before – shows progression and development. Although the Cratchits, like Fred's family, are “contented with themselves and each other”, humour is not apparent in Dickens' voice as in Fred's richer and brighter world. Great ideas, and it’s always good to contrast characters/events/language, but could be communicated a bit more clearly.  With the shadow of Tiny Tim, crippled and trapped in an “iron frame” to represent the lower classes trapped in a cycle of poverty throwing in random metaphors/symbolisms like this is good, their world is sombre and increasingly dark as Stave Three draws to a close.  Rather than joy generated by humour, Dickens intends the author to feel sympathy for their pathetic and joyless life, with the “empty corner” and “crutch without an owner”.  For Dickens, it is the upper classes' treatment of them who is ‘them’? that ensures Tiny Tim will die and robs them of the delight and humour they would otherwise share.  The initially “jovial” Ghost of Christmas Present furthermore transforms to harsh social commentary, as he predicts “Doom” for society with the presence of “Want” and “Ignorance”.  This sentence just lists evidence without analysis - poor. Stave Four, centring on Scrooge's “den of infamous resort” and finally Scrooge's “tombstone” comma is grim and cheerless, presenting an appalling picture of the “greasy offal” that surrounds the lowest classes.  For Dickens, in the face of anguish and death, no humour is possible.  The harsh, bleak nature of his descriptions awaken the audience to the seriousness of the “Doom” looming over society if change does not occur.  Indeed, if societal change does not occur, Dickens' Christmas-time image of joyful society will be engulfed in bleakness. Nice last sentence – well expressed and powerful.  And it isn’t just repetition of the TS, more a sense of ‘development’ in the paragraph, especially as it ends on a ‘views and values’ statement.

The upper classes' treatment of some, Dickens demonstrates, is indeed bereaving them who is ‘them’? upper or lower classes? (arguably both, in fact) of joy and humour.  Yet for most, delight and happiness, born of a childlike attitude to life, is attainable.  For Dickens, once his capitalist society enmeshed in gain from the Industrial Revolution the Industrial Revolution’s money-focused mindset realises that wealth is not the central aspect of life, and instead open themselves to truly appreciating the joys of life, “Doom” will be averted.  Sharing humour as a family is integral to a vibrant society. Last sentence should link to text/author rather than making a random statement: ‘He presents that...’ or something.  And while it’s a nice ending, it repeats what has been said earlier.  If you dive too deep into profound significance earlier on, then you have nothing more insightful to finish off with.  Not too bad though.
Title: Re: English Resources and Sample High Scoring Responses
Post by: KEAEducation on November 13, 2015, 12:40:30 pm
Hi everyone,

This is a creative context piece addressing ALL FOUR CONTEXTS. There are themes in this piece that critique all the contexts - Imaginative Landscape, Whose Reality, Encountering Conflict and Identity and Belonging.

The creative piece attached - A Den of Men - contains a full context essay and the plan and general thought process that went into writing it. Although the piece was not written addressing any particular text, it goes to show the depth at which you can layer your creative context pieces. Context essays are essentially a combination of various ideas layered on top of each other which add to their depth and sophistication. This essay would suit as a preparation essay, an inspirational essay, an essay to note the structure and way to implement themes and way to address them. This essay can be used to influence any context.
It is a deeply personal story and goes to show the importance of writing from a place of passion.

I hope it is helpful to anyone and everyone doing Context, whether you write expos or creative and both!
Cheers
Title: Re: English Resources and Sample High Scoring Responses
Post by: heids on December 18, 2015, 06:03:00 pm
Hello friends!

It's the season of giving - as you wrap your Christmas gifts soz couldn't resist the link, please consider AN for a moment.  We need some new sample essays.  We've basically had almost no contributions since like 2011 - so 95% of these essays aren't even on the current text list.

Your hours upon hours of slaving over essays beyond count do not deserve the dustbin.  So if AN has helped you, please give back to the community by digging out anything 8/10+!

Cheers, look forward to many happy hours reading them ;)
Title: Re: English Resources and Sample High Scoring Responses
Post by: heids on December 21, 2015, 12:42:59 pm
An incredibly generous, incredibly high scoring and incredibly anonymous 2015'er just donated us four essays.  Blow her some kisses! :D  The essays are both pasted in spoiler tags and attached as Word docs.

Essay 1: Text Response - All About Eve

'The film is a warning about the dangers of obsessive ambition.'  Discuss.

Spoiler
Since the days of classical Greek theatre, plays (and more recently, film) have served as a vehicle through which humanity has been cautioned against the perils of obsessive ambition, and Joseph Mankiewicz’s All About Eve (1950) is no exception. All About Eve references classical Greek tragedy in that it is a modern version of a morality play; Mankiewicz teaches his audience of the rights and wrongs when it comes to pursuing one’s goals. The characters, plot, dialogue and cinematic techniques such as freeze-frames and mise-en-scene are employed throughout the film to allow deeper exploration of the consequences of relentless and immoral acts committed in the search of career progression and popularity. Interestingly, the gender of the audience will interpret these lessons differently.

   The primary antagonist, Eve Harrington, is the most significant example in the film highlighting the ramifications of placing career before all else. She is highly manipulative and obsessive in her rise to fame. This is made evident in the opening sequence with the camera freeze-framing onto her outstretched hands reaching for the esteemed Sarah Siddons’ award, suggesting that she is grasping and greedy for fame. In her dialogue, Eve also admits she is willing to "do much more" to achieve her goals. Her actions reinforce this confession. Eve blackmails Karen, “studies" and usurps Margo, repeatedly attempts to seduce Bill and Lloyd, the list goes on... This litany of immoral acts committed in her search to "be somebody" are punished with her isolation, her "inability to love or be loved" and her perpetual feeling of dissatisfaction. This is accentuated throughout the film by the camera framing and positioning of Eve - she is either alone or placed at a distance from other characters in most scenes. The storyline also demonstrates how Eve's thirst for fame cannot be quenched when she still feels the need to travel to Hollywood to further her career after receiving all the recognition and approval she had previously been seeking. The audience is positioned to feel eventual disgust and hatred towards Eve emphasising that, in conjunction with her Machiavellian arrogance, Eve’s “insatiable ambition” is the ultimate cause of her undoing.

   The benefits of placing loyalty and friendship before self-centredness is illustrated through the juxtaposition of the key female characters. Eve's journey acts as a foil to that of Margo's. At the outset, Margo is presented as the melodramatic prima donna of the theatre world, where she is, and knows that she is, a successful, popular actress. It is implied that she has for a long time focused heavily on her career, and thus at the age of forty had still not married nor settled in a steady relationship. It is obvious to the audience she is not content with her life and insecure about her age and fame. This is clearly shown through her actions of constantly manifesting irrational and unsubstantiated accusations at her partner, Bill Sampson, as well as when she takes Eve under her wing to satisfy her need for continued and constant attention. However soon after, she realises the wrongs of obsessing over fame and adoration, strongly contrasting Eve's character. Margo gives up the role of Cora to get married and have “a life to live”. This decision is rewarded with happiness, love and friendship exemplified by the acting and camera framing, particularly during the scene at the Cub Room where Bill and Margo announce their engagement. Bette Davis’ smiley facial expressions, light-hearted movement and upright posture portrays Margo’s newfound satisfaction and confidence. While the camera shows Margo, Bill, Lloyd and Karen in a single frame indicating their close relationship and sense of unity. Ironically, even after knowingly abandoning her career, Margo is still recognised as a “great” and “true star”, while Eve remains to be just another dazzling “bright light”. Two starkly different female role models are being proposed to the audience who originally would have been traversing the social changes to gender roles following World War II. However, under the direction of Mankiewicz, the audience would be inclined to sympathise with Margo and accept her character as the more righteous choice. Thus reinforcing the tradition of women roles and warn female viewers of the inevitable emotional emptiness they will experience if they reject their domestic roles in their pursuit of a career.

   The lesson of cautioning women against focusing too much on their career is reiterated at the end of the film by the character Phoebe. Her transparent jockeying for Eve’s patronage and flirtatious, but evidently underhanded, manner towards Addison suggests a similar trajectory to Eve’s own. The cyclic nature of narcissistic, relentless ambition is then also visually emphasised in the film’s final image of infinite reflections of Phoebe wearing Eve’s cloak and holding her award. This ending not only suggests that there are countless more women who desire self-aggrandisement like Phoebe and Eve, but also alludes to the fact that these women will only be punished for their lack of focus on domesticity and will live an unhappy, unsatisfiable life.    

   From a modernist point of view, All About Eve appears to ultimately endorse a conservative view on women’s roles, but makes no note on the consequences on men who obsessively pursue career progression. Mankiewicz blatantly positions Eve, the symbol of female ambition, to be portrayed as malignant and “evil”; presenting ambition for women as a damaging quality, capable of destroying relationships and corroding values. While, contrastingly, it is acceptable of men like Bill and Lloyd to be ambitious and seek ways to further their career, who are then rewarded with women who support them and nurture their talents. Reinforcing this notion is a more extreme example, Addison DeWitt. He describes himself, and Eve, as having well-honed “killer’s” instincts who both have an “insatiable” thirst for success. Yet, Addison is not punished for his behaviour in the same way Eve is, and rather emerges from all the drama with his ego and power intact. At the time of the film’s release, these concepts would not have been questioned by the audience and thus the gender of the viewer would greatly affect the lesson being learnt - focusing their life on career is appropriate for men, but not for women.

   All About Eve explores the complications of obsessive ambition and acts as a modem through which audiences are warned against acts of immorality in the pursuit of career advancement. However, for the modern day society, Mankiewicz’s film ultimately appears to assert that there are, in fact, conditions under which relentless ambition is acceptable, and these conditions are entirely based on one’s gender.

Essay 2: Text Response - All About Eve

'The real antagonist in All About Eve is not Eve Harrington, but Addison DeWitt.’ Discuss.

Spoiler
The characters of Eve Harrington and Addison DeWitt from Joseph Mankiewicz’s award winning film, All About Eve, inspire little sympathy from the audience, both as a result of their ruthless natures and also the manipulative means they use to achieve their ends. They are alike in many ways, in ambition and cunning, and with their amorality and heartlessness, Mankiewicz clearly portrays them as the antagonists of the film, who do not deserve the peace and contentment seen in the film’s other characters. However, this “punishment” is what sets them apart. Eve appears to the victim in Addison's machinations, while Addison only seems to benefit from their exploitative relationship. This has given rise to the idea to many modern day viewers that Addison perhaps is the most antagonistic, evil character in the film.

   “Necessary to the theatre as ants are to a picnic,” Addison is a voyeur and an urbane man who delights in the power he holds over the careers of actors, actresses, directors and playwrights alike in his position as the “critic and commentator”. Through his distinctive and often contemptuous voiceovers, at the film’s introduction and after Eve’s opening performance, the audience is first given the impression of the condescension with which he views much the world outside the theatre and often within it. In the use of this film technique, Mankiewicz, through interaction and commentary on characters, paints a clear portrait of this “Rasputin”. Addison, as his name and acerbic tone suggests, is a witty, intelligent and, like an adder, is “poisonous” to those around him. He is shown to be entirely unsympathetic to the chaotic effect his words can have on the lives of others. This is particularly highlighted with George Sanders’ cynical, mocking grin implying great delight when Addison describes to Margo the “fire and music” with which Eve read with Claudia. His true nature is further revealed in his confrontation with Eve in her hotel room. His dominance and complete ownership of Eve is emphasised through the low angle shot of him looking down upon a distraught Eve sprawled out pathetically on the bed. Addison’s immense power, “venomous” personality and lack of conscience for others’ emotions all align to position him as the most malignant character in the film.

   However, the idea of Addison being more “evil” than Eve may not have been as common for the original audience who would have been traversing the social changes in gender roles following World War II. Under the direction of Mankiewicz and due to the social norms of the time, the audience in 1950 would have been inclined to despise Eve much more than Addison. Eve is highly manipulative and obsessive in her rise to fame. This is made evident in the opening sequence with the camera freeze-framing onto her outstretched hand reaching for the esteemed Sarah Siddons’ award, suggesting to the audience she is grasping and greedy for fame. The audience and, indeed, other characters learn to despise Eve for this trait. Her willingness to “do much more” just for career progression contradicts the conservative tradition of women’s roles which is to focus on domesticity rather than career. Moreover, she blackmails Karen, usurps Margo’s position as the “star of the theatre” and attempts to seduce Bill and Lloyd. This litany of immoral acts committed in her search to “be somebody” and her complete lack of gratitude towards those who helped her succeed in the theatre results in her isolation, “inability to love or be loved” and perpetual feeling of dissatisfaction. This is further emphasised by the cross-cutting between medium close ups of Bill, Margo, Lloyd and Karen at the Sarah Siddons’ award ceremony. Their scornful expressions attest to their antagonism towards Eve, which would have matched the emotions of the viewers in 1950. Thus it can be understood that the social time in which the audience is positioned would for many greatly affect the interpretation of the antagonists in the film.

   From a revisionist’s point of view, it may appear that Eve and Addison play the joint role of the antagonist. They are essentially similar in personality and ambition, which is established through Addison’s dialogue claiming that “contempt for humanity” and ‘insatiable ambition” are what Eve and Addison have “in common”. Furthermore, without one or the other, the protagonist, Margo, and other characters would not have experienced such drama and turmoil. Without Eve there is no one to “study” Margo and provoke her insecurities. And without Addison, Eve would not have the power and potentially, intelligence, to be able to popularise herself on such a large scale. This alliance, though “unholy”, is essential to the plot of the film and thus it can be concluded that both Eve and Addison are the “real” antagonists of the film – together, not one or the other.

   Both manipulative, uncaring and willing to push close relationships aside to achieve their ends, Addison and Eve are both essential antagonists of the film. Yet, for all their similarities, it is Eve who finds herself under the power of Addison and not the other way around. The eventual condemnation felt by audience members towards either character ultimately depends on the social conventions of the time and the viewers’ attitude towards women’s roles. 

Essay 3: Context - Whose Reality? (Death of a Salesman)

There are times when our reality does not turn out the way in which we intended it to be.

Spoiler
Victoria High School • Term 4 School Magazine

Destination Unknown
Alex Smith –  past student (Class of 2014) - 25 October 2015

To the Class of 2015:

Congratulations! School’s out! Scream and shout! ...... in excitement or in fear? Like the very many people before me, my high school years came to an end. A year ago now, I would have just spent the past week having my last few lessons, clearing out the mess I called a locker, and saying my final goodbyes to classmates and teachers. And now, it’s your turn. You’ve entered the final weeks before exams, the home stretch, the ninth inning, the fourth quarter, the whatever happens at the end of a soccer game. Before you know it, it will all be over and who knows what’s next. So for all you who are going through this time of celebration, confusion and change, welcome aboard this scary ride: Destination Unknown.

No doubt you have all been asked to death what you plan to do after you graduate and most, probably, already have your minds set on a particular pathway. Some of you may have even been working up to this point for the past thirteen years of your lives in the hope of becoming a lawyer, doctor, dentist, engineer, accountant… However, there will be some of you who ultimately miss out on your first preference: that one degree that you had planned your life with and not being accepted into will lead to great anxieties about your future, who you are and who you will be. It would be a time Sigmund Freud describes as our dreams “colliding with a bit of reality against which they are dashed to pieces”.

It happened to me.

Those very aspirations, ambitions, what I had intended to be my future, and basically my life and whole of reality just seemed to have completely vanished. I remember reading that rejection letter:
“Dear Incredibly Hard Working and Hopeful Doctor,
Our admissions committee has met, and we regret to inform you that you were not selected as a student for our entering class. There were many qualified…”

Ouch.

I had worked hard. I had shadowed doctors as part of work experience. I volunteered during my holidays. My scores had always been great. I gave everything for this. What do I do now? And what’s more, how in the world am I going to tell my parents? They’ve sacrificed so much all these years, they were my chauffeurs, chefs and servants, and I can’t even return them the favor of successfully getting into a course?!

I felt like a Loman – I had become a Willy, that very loser we had meticulously critiqued in VCE English. I believed in my goals, dedicated my life towards them, only to become become a laughable joke for the Howards of this world - those who succeed at university and life as a whole.
I was the Biff. Time and time again, I was told you are “great”, you are destined for greatness, you’ll be able to do whatever you put your mind to. They lied. Everyone else got into their courses, they got want they aimed for. Some were Bernards and achieved more than what everyone else expected. Yet, I didn’t. And it sure felt like I couldn’t.

But, this was just the start. The school or rejection jolted me from one trajectory and opened up new possibilities. I wonder about those who came before me, for whom without rejection, success would not have been possible... I’m currently at the end of my first year studying science and yes, I may have learnt a lot about the anatomy of a frog, how electricity is made and why certain chemicals explode, but those definitely were not the most important lessons. It is this very course which has shown me over and over that life isn’t meant to be the way you intend it to be. Could you imagine if it did? Alex Fleming would have never discovered penicillin which has saved countless lives. We wouldn’t have a microwave to heat up meals if it weren’t for Percy Spencer and his molten chocolate. And John Pemberton would have cured his headache instead of creating Coca Cola. Other than accidental discoveries, what about Mao’s Last Dancer? Neither Li CunXin, anyone in his family or his entire village would have expected an impoverished farm boy to be a world renown ballet dancer who also happens to be the author of a bestselling autobiography, a stockbroker and an artistic director at a dance academy.

So in the next few weeks, don’t tie yourself into a knot if things don’t go the way you had intended. Our lives are really in the hands of fate and the reality we are presented with happen for a reason. Initially it may seem like the world is just pitted against you (I get you, I really do), but really I’d say that the universe is offering you another opportunity to grow, learn and perhaps find that one something that you’re really destined for and actually will love.

Cheers,
Alex Lacey
(P.S: Honestly sometimes I do still feel like a Willy or a Biff. But at least I can proudly say I’m beginning to enjoy my time on the ride Destination Unknown, and I hope you will too.)

Essay 4: Context - Whose Reality? (Death of a Salesman)

Blurring the boundaries between the past and the present is ultimately detrimental.

Spoiler
Guru Magazine • Mind

POOR FORGETTERS
Dr Kim Lacey - published 7 April 2015

Most of us can’t remember what we ate for dinner the night before, let alone the intricate details of every day of our lives. However for one 28-year old New Yorker letting go of the past is not an option. Mind Guru Dr Kim Lacey spoke with Joey DeGrandis, to learn more about what it’s like to remember almost everything that has ever happened to you.

On July 10 2009, Joey had dinner with his mom and sister at a small Italian bistro. Later that night, he spent 20 minutes practising his sales pitch for the next day, then fell asleep on the couch watching a documentary about the Roosevelt’s.
He remembers these things, just as he remembers that on September 21 2010, he went to inspect a house, then ordered Thai takeout for dinner, as well as cookie-dough cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory; and on December 12 2011 he had stained his new white button-down shirt with some spicy sauce from a “very overpriced” $16 chicken wrap he had bought for lunch; and May 7 2013, it was a warm and sunny day when he ran into his friends on the street near his apartment. He also remembers feeling self-conscious because he was in a suit while they were wearing more casual clothing.

Joey DeGrandis is one of the 56 people worldwide that have what's known as highly superior autobiographical memory  (HSAM). Whereas we forget most of our lives, this elite squad of people with super-memories possess a structural difference in their brain that allows them to swiftly and vividly recall life events - from the mundane to the monumental.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So, do you remember everything?
I certainly don’t remember every single second of every single day, but on average I recall more about my experience of the world than other people. Plus, there’s a lot of emotionality tied into everything that I experience.

What do you mean by 'emotionality'?
For any given date or event, I could probably tell you what I happened that day, where I was in life, and the emotions attached to it. Prior to being diagnosed with HSAM, I always wondered: Am I just an overly sensitive person? ‘Cause when I’m recalling these memories I’m really back there and I can still feel deeply impacted by the events. I remember when I was 9 years old, a kid called me a nerd and pushed me over while I was looking for books in the library; I was so upset I almost had to go home. And two days later, I had scored the winning goal in the soccer game we had during sports class and that kid gave me a high five. Thinking about it brings back the emotions so vividly, it’s almost like time travel.

When did you discover that you had this unique memory ability?
It all started with my ability to name the day of the week of any given date. The earliest memory I can think of straight off is September 19, 1994. It was a Monday and I had looked at the calendar on the wall of my room and being very much aware of it.

And when were you diagnosed with HSAM?
For most of my life, it was just a fun trick. I used it only for my own purposes, to reflect sometimes and other times it was a party game. My friends would ask things like, when was the last time we all got together here? When did we first meet such-and-such person?
Meanwhile, Dr. McGaugh, a neurobiologist in California, was researching this ability. He’d found a woman who could remember everything and was constantly depressed by her memories. Later, on May 19 2008, a gentleman appeared on the Today show for a segment called “total recall.” Then, in December 2010, a 60 Minutes segment aired and I reached out at the end of the segment to the doctors. I was formally diagnosed in August 2011 at University of California, Irvine, after a long series of tests with Dr. McGaugh and some other researchers.

And you went on a follow-up show on 60 Minutes, was that the first time you met other people who have HSAM?
Yeah, it was and It was so cool. We noticed that some of us are better at remembering certain things and it aligns with passions. Marilu Henner is into fashion, so she can remember when she bought all the pairs of shoes she owns. Another was a big football fan so he remembered scores. Another lady was very musical and remembers the date of the first time she heard a song.
The thing we all agreed on was the fact that at some point in our lives we had gone through depression, or had some form of it. It wasn’t that we were all severely depressed. It was more that we have struggled with, or currently struggle with, constantly feeling weighed down and we believe it may be because of certain memories we are unable to let go of or we get too focused on things that have already happened. As Dr. McGaugh puts it, it’s not that we remember everything, but we are just very poor at forgetting. It’s very difficult for us to dismiss memories that we attach value and emotion to. I don’t even know what it means when someone says, “I’ve let that go — it’s out of sight, out of mind.”

So I understand that having HSAM has affected your day to day life?
Sometimes it can be great because there will be good experiences associated with certain memories. I can go back and relive them. There’s particular childhood memories, including birthdays or holidays, which are so enjoyable uplifting that I can just sit and think about all day. It can be a huge temptation to just live in the past 24/7.
But this can get especially difficult for some things, like relationships. If it was a good relationship or even just a series of fun dates, the happy emotions are evoked and thinking about them makes me smile. Alternatively, if it’s a bad breakup then the memories linger and hurt. Sometimes I’ll pick and sift through the memories to find what went wrong, and that could easily be detrimental to my mental health. Sometimes, I think it might be nice to forget.

Is this the most troubling aspect?
I think it’s a combination of dwelling on things for longer than needed or the fact that consistent analysis of memories can make you a little bit too critical of yourself. The others with HSAM that I’ve met all seem to share these traits too. We seem to have a higher need for approval, seek attention and can be more sensitive to criticism. HSAM hasn't hindered us so much that we can’t cease to function like a normal person, but there is a commonality that we can often have trouble with our emotions and we can be more prone to depression.
The other issue, one of the other HSAMers pointed it out. It seems that most of us are unable to maintain long-term relationships, and rumour is that only 4 of the 56 of us who have been identified are currently in a successful marriage. This worries me and the others too, naturally. We may hold grudges over things that others have forgotten a long time ago. We don't get fresh days; no clean slates without association. Because the past is so viscerally right there, so available, so when the present gets overwhelming, it's hard not to retreat to the past. And that’s a part of the reason why we all keep in touch. We help each other to learn how to manage the memories and focus on what’s present.

This interview has been edited and condensed.
Title: Re: English Resources and Sample High Scoring Responses
Post by: heids on December 21, 2015, 05:30:29 pm
Two language analysis essays courtesy of one of our brilliant 50'ers, Splash-Tackle-Flail!

... actually okay, one essay.  AN's file size limitations are the worst :(

P.S.  Feel free to post in this thread yourselves, it's not a mod-only-thread so you don't have to come through me :)
Title: Re: English Resources and Sample High Scoring Responses
Post by: heids on December 21, 2015, 05:32:20 pm
... And a War Poems essay, also by Splash-Tackle-Flail.

There are two more essays coming, but I'm typing them so you don't have to download a million split files :P
Title: Re: English Resources and Sample High Scoring Responses
Post by: The Raven on December 21, 2015, 06:13:50 pm
That moment when both the texts you studied are no longer on the textlist. Here's one on King Henry on the topic (which I got from Atarnotes): To what extent do religion and morality influence the actions of the characters in Henry IV, Part 1?


Set amidst the ‘civil butchery’ and political deception of an early 15th century Lancastrian England, Shakespeare’s historical play 1 King Henry IV portrays a world where traditional notions of morality are questioned and religious order is dismissed for political expedience and gain. In the ‘rogue’ Falstaff, Shakespeare depicts the very antithesis of religious morality, this ‘thief’s’ brazen transgression of societal and religious standards establishes his position as a symbolic testament to the figure of Vice that populated early Medieval morality plays. More subtle, yet equally condemnable is King Henry’s own abominable ‘murder’ of his predecessor King Richard, which becomes not only an affront to the rigid honour of Hotspur, but represents a disregard for the Divine Right of King’s espoused by English monarchs. The wider disorder and immorality of King Henry’s country is indicative of his illegitimacy, and it is only once Prince Hal, the symbolic Christ-like saviour of the play, steps in does Shakespeare suggest that some semblance of social morality and religious order is restored. Yet ultimately, whether this political strength is indicative of religious and moral uprightness is questionable following Hal’s deceptions, and across the play, Shakespeare portrays the increasing irrelevance of religion and traditional morality on a political and social landscape dominated by deception and anarchy.

It is through Falstaff that Shakespeare reveals a character with complete disregard for religion and morality. Completely unhindered by these factors, Falstaff revels in ‘villainous’ greed and anarchy; not only does Falstaff readily admit to his love for ‘sack and sugar’, but in justifying his ‘sins’ through the ubiquity of such actions - ‘many and old host...is damned’ - and by characterising his thieving as a ‘vocation’, Falstaff seeks to not only live outside these common societal standards of moderation, but to redefine these very concepts themselves. To Falstaff, the notion of morals only serves to restrict his wanton behaviour, and for a character defined by his pleasure seeking ways, his generous frame hinting at his symbolic transgression of morality and social norms, such standards needn’t be adhered to or even considered. Yet while, Falstaff represents a complete dismissal of morality, in his completely outrageous behaviour, Falstaff inadvertently exposes the hypocrisy of these social constructs; his plea ‘banish plump Jack and banish all the world’ speaks to the inherent human foibles that we all possess, a key tenet of Shakespeare’s own humanist values. Indeed, in this way, Falstaff speaks to his Elizabethan audience, whose ability to relate to his justification of his ‘villainous’ behaviour only serves to make Falstaff more likeable. However, while this ‘unworthy’ behaviour is a source of humour and perhaps mild admiration from the audience early on in the play, Falstaff soon begins to embody the darker sides of a life lived outside the bounds of morality and religious order; his admittance to having ‘used the King’s press damnably’ echoes his previous characterisation under Hal as a ‘white-bearded Satan’ through the shared religious connotations of ‘damnable’ and ‘Satan’. Here, Falstaff is directly linked to the figure of Medieval ‘iniquity’, the ‘abominable misleader of youth’ that would attempt to entice and waylay the more righteous characters in the play, and it is here that Falstaff’s greed and selfishness begins to clash with the wider social and moral expectations of the country and with common decency. Falstaff’s callous dismissal of those under his charge as mere ‘food for powder’ highlights the Knight’s complete contempt towards his role as a protector of the realm, and Shakespeare’s audience is forced to consider the implications of such cruel and immoral behaviour from those with power. Across the play, Falstaff’s actions become increasingly self-centred as he demonstrates a complete indifference to religious and moral boundaries. While Falstaff may humorously expose the hypocrisy of such concepts, Shakespeare ultimately warns against a life lived completely with morality through the anti-social, self-serving motives of this ‘unworthy’ ‘rogue’.

This willing abuse of morality is taken to extremes through King Henry’s transgression of the Divine Order by his slaying of the former King. It is the revelation of this abuse of power that catalyses the rebellion against Henry’s rule, creating an atmosphere of political and social chaos where ‘land’ is as ‘cheap as stinking mackerel’. It is through this instability that Shakespeare suggests the wider consequences of King Henry’s transgression of the Divine Religious Order, and through this act of regicide, Shakespeare uses this greater social upheaval and immorality to hint at the illegitimacy of the King’s position. Unlike Falstaff complete embrace of his immorality, the King appears to at least purport a facade of religious fervour, his plan to send a new crusade to the ‘holy fields’ superficially attests to his adherence to the influence of religion on his Lancastrian world. However, this noble goal is ultimately undermined by his political scheming, and while the King suggests that such a crusade would serve to unite his countrymen to ‘be no more opposed’ to each other, emphasising its role as a political tool as much as religious valour, this plan more subtly hints at the King’s religious guilt and desire to make divine amends for his ungodly actions in ‘murder[ing]’ Richard. However, the eventual failure of this ‘expedience’ in the face of local rebellion suggests that the King’s actions are unredeemable, and this retrospective, token appeasement to religion is unable establish Henry’s legitimacy. On the other hand, Hotspur’s rebellion appears to oppose this desecration of Divine religious morality, his desire to unseat the ‘unthankful King’ may at first appear to represent a restoration of morality and religious order. However, Shakespeare ultimately questions the extent to which religion and morality influence the rebellion; instead it is Hotspur’s superficial desire for ‘vanities’ and ‘glories’ that motivates him, this self-serving plunge into war is in reality, completely at odds with altruistic morality and a reclamation of the throne. Hotspur, and by extension his allies, are not motivated by a sense of morality, but a desire for personal ‘honour’, and in the case of Worcester and Vernon, political ascendency, that will further the power of their own family. Here, Shakespeare portrays two sides largely uninfluenced by religion and morality, instead warring over personal and political means.

It is only in Prince Hal that Shakespeare portrays some hope of redemption, as the young Prince appears to assert a return back to civil order and peace. Hal’s position as a Christ-like figure is hinted at through his juxtaposition against Falstaff, Hal’s eventual promise to reject Falstaff and the world he offers is revealed through the short sentences ‘I do. I will’, that establish through their perfunctory nature, the young Prince’s conviction and desire to remove himself from the atmosphere of vice and disorder symbolised by Falstaff. Indeed, the magnitude of the situation created by the rebellion is realised by the burgeoning young leader, whose disgust at Falstaff’s jesting and excesses on the battlefield - ‘what is it a time to jest and dally?’ - begin to portray the separation of these two characters as Hal embraces the leadership and morality expected of him. However, it is not only this shift away from the world of vice that establishes Hal’s new position, through Vernon’s admiring depiction of the Prince as ‘feathered Mercury’, Shakespeare affirms Hal’s role as an almost deified figure, establishing his position among classical religious archetypes and presenting him as a ‘hope’ for ‘England’. Unlike Hotspur, it is Hal that is able to obtain this praise, even from his enemies, and thus Shakespeare positions his audience to view the young Prince as the true figure of redemption and hope in the play. Even then, the playwright ensures that Hal’s espousing of peace - ‘go to the Douglas and deliver him up to his pleasure, ransomless and free’ - is undermined by the former revelation of his deception to ‘falsify men’s hopes’. While Hal may at first appear to embody the morality that has been hitherto lost in the characters of the play, we are continually reminded of his ability to deceive, and that ultimately, while his actions may be altruistic, there remains doubt around the political motives of his behaviour. However, in moving England towards a less chaotic and more peaceful society, Hal establishes a wider morality stemming from a willingness to rule fairly and within the bounds of religious order. Even though, in the eyes of the audience, Hal may be haunted by his former deceptions, Shakespeare suggests that the morality Hal represents is not merely a personal sense of honour, but a willingness to dedicate himself to the wider country he governs.

In portraying a world governed largely by political expediency and self-serving actions, Shakespeare demonstrates the increasingly tenuous influence that traditional morality and religion has on the characters of 1 King Henry IV. By living ‘out of all order’, Falstaff willingly embraces the anarchy and immorality of his wanton ways, indulging in a repellent self-preserving callousness, while King Henry catalyses a wider societal unrest through his breach of the Divine Rights of Kings. Together, these characters demonstrate the pitfalls of a failure to heed moral and religious boundaries, and it is only through Prince Hal that Shakespeare realigns the tumultuous world of Lancastrian England with the religious and moral tenets of his time. Yet through the depiction of his character’s inherently human fallibility, Shakespeare ensures that the rigid definition of morality is never accomplished; and thus, while none of his characters are fully influenced and motivated by religion or a sense of overriding morality, Shakespeare still suggests that it is the direction of social betterment that allows Hal to ultimately succeed.
Title: Re: English Resources and Sample High Scoring Responses
Post by: heids on December 21, 2015, 06:31:52 pm
This was Splash-Tackle-Flail's 30/30 Unit 3 Context SAC :)

Prompt: In encountering conflict, individuals, groups or nations inevitably reassess their values.

Statement of Intention

The cultural chasm in our nation

How can we hope to move forward if our own country’s values are so deeply entrenched in the past?

Last year, the Western Australian government declared the proposed closure of up to 150 of 274 Aboriginal remote communities, resulting in the forced eviction of potentially thousands of Indigenous people.  Recently, the self-declared “Prime Minister for Indigenous Affairs”, Tony Abbott, backed the decision, dismissing those living in remote communities as following a “lifestyle choice” that “we can’t endlessly subsidise”.  Yet while the Prime Minister’s comments shocked and outraged many, they are no surprise.  Tony Abbott’s remarks simply reflect the racial rift that has stifled the construction of any genuine relationship between Indigenous and non-Indigenous Australians.  If we ever want to close the cultural chasm that divides one Australian from another, we need to dispel any vestiges of prejudice beliefs and cultural arrogance.  Only then can we, as a nation, clarify what matters most – the creation of a united and equal Australia.

Unsurprisingly, the Western Australian government’s decision is not the first instance an Aboriginal remote community has been forcefully shut down.  In 2011, a remote community in Oombulgurri was deemed unviable by the state government due to issues such as alcoholism.  However, instead of addressing the Aboriginal people in the community, the community was closed down.  Amnesty International, an organisation that advocates human rights for everyone, reported that many Aborigines in Oombulgurri refused to leave their homes, but their defiance was met with the state government’s closure of the community’s health clinic, schools, shops, and the relinquishment of bare necessities such as power and running water.  As a result, many Aboriginal people were stripped of their ancestral homes, which were crushed by a bulldozer, and their cultural ties to the land that non-Indigenous Australians have not been able to fully appreciate.  The closure of this community led to social chaos, and exacerbated issues such as Aboriginal homelessness and alcoholism.  The government’s recent decision to close 150 of these remote communities demonstrates our inability to prioritise what’s most important as a nation, if we ever want to become the blooming egalitarian society many Australians strive to create.

Sadly, thousands of kilometres away, there are other countries suffering from a similar cancer, evidence that a re-evaluation of values is neither inevitable nor necessarily positive.  On the 12th of April, Baltimore citizen Freddie Gray was apprehended and subjected to police brutality.  A witness describe Gray’s arrest as ‘folding’, where one officer beat the 25 year-old’s lower leg, to the “point it look like he broke it”, while the other pressed his knee into Gray’s neck.  Later one, Gray was found beaten unconscious in the back of a police transport van; doctors identified three fractured vertebrae, and Gray’s spine was severed at the neck.  The 25 year old died the following week.  Gray’s death continues the legacy of African American men falling victim to the conflict of social division.  It is bitterly disappointing that the cultural arrogance that justified African American slaves hundreds of years ago still plagues our societies today.  Despite the plethora of police attacks targeting African American men, who are 20 times more likely to be fatally shot than white men, there has been no evident reassessment of the nation’s priorities, and no real action towards racial equality.  There should be no smugness amongst the voters either; they have discarded the cherished values that define a peaceful, respectable community.  Reports have shown 113 police officers have been injured, 2 civilians have been shot, and nine million dollars in damages occurred as a result of rioting, arson, and looting.  Although the overthrowing of draconian values can be understood, and even encouraged, this destructive, toxic retaliation is not conducive to what we should be fighting for – genuine racial equality, and demonstrates how difficult it can be to identify what’s really important when we are blinded by raw, irrational anger.

Both the Baltimore riots and the closure of Aboriginal remote communities in Australia have demonstrated our inability to meaningfully reassess our own values in times of cultural conflict.  Perhaps we need to look to the lessons of Lieutenant Daniel Rooke in Kate Grenville’s novel, The Lieutenant.  Lieutenant Rooke is intrinsically introverted, besotted with the wonders of mathematics, astronomy and later on the Aboriginal language and fascinating culture of the natives.  However, despite his interest and compassion towards the Indigenous people, Rooke would often respond to Aboriginal subjugation and British dominance with avoidance and complicity.  When the native girls Tagaran and Tugear [typist’s note: dunno if those names are right :P] run into Rooke’s observatory crying and wounded, Rooke refuses to confront the British sailor who hurt them: “Kanara was not going to help her… what Tagaran wanted was impossible”.  Rooke only realises what he values most after his deep reflection of the punitive mission he participated in at the behest of Silk and Governor Gilbert.  Through moody introspection, Rooke grapples with his loyalty to Gilbert as a British soldier and his moral integrity.  As Rooke gazes as the rolling, uncoiling waves on a New South Wales shore, he realises in a moment of divine revelation, “I cannot be a part of this”.  From reflecting on his priorities, and the morality of his actions, Rooke is able to voice his scruples with the British justice system and is subsequently empowered with inner peace, strength, and self-respect.  Rooke eventually devotes his life toward freeing slaves in Antigua, a symbol of his newfound purpose and sense of fulfilment, as he is no longer burdened with the idea he once betrayed his moral values.

Although Rooke is just an individual, his story carries valuable lessons to both America and Australia.  We need to reconsider what matters most – learning to understand the importance of these remote communities to the Aboriginal people, and to express this understanding with compassion and empathy.  Perhaps, in light of the dark timeline of cultural conflict between Indigenous and non-Indigenous Australians, this is the message Kate Grenville is trying to deliver.   A reasoned re-evaluation of our whole nation’s values is necessary to move towards peace, process, and improved sustainable relations.  If our country, and in particular our leaders, cannot see and accept this, the creation of a better Australia will remain a forlorn hope.
Title: Re: English Resources and Sample High Scoring Responses
Post by: thaaanyan on December 23, 2015, 12:38:18 am
Hey there,
This is one for Medea by Euripides (Vellacott translation), it's a full copy of the half sample I posted up earlier; just typed up the other half (please forgive any errors!!).  I've noticed that we don't have a lot of language analysis pieces, and since it's a piece of the study design that's carrying over for the 2017er's i'll look for one of those next.:)

Medea has just cause to be angry and violent. Jason deserves our utter contempt.

Written in a strictly patriarchal society, Euripides’ Medea aims to explore the human psyche and the motivations behind passionate acts of brutal violence.  Thus, Euripides asserts, Medea has just cause to be angry against a social system which seeks to repress and subjugate those that it deems to be ‘Other.’ However while Medea has just cause to remain angry, she has no right to be violent, as it is when she is violent that Medea crosses the boundary into extremity – with violence Medea becomes a herald of suffering and annihilation, destroying both the remnants of her family and her morality. Despite this, it is Jason’s initial actions which force Medea to commit such atrocities, indeed he is worthy of nothing but the audience’s utter contempt. Hence, Euripides’ Medea delves deeply into the emotional and social causes of anger and violence, castigating the extremity of both individuals and social systems which are not moderate in nature.

Euripides seeks to castigate the motivations behind Jason’s betrayal of Medea, and through his downfall highlights to audiences the limitations of logic and rationality in perceiving the world. The logical nature of Jason’s personality is evident in the very syntax of his speech, as he prefaces his argument with the methodical “To begin with,” in order to support the rationality of his argument. It is this extremity of logic which Euripides condemns – the phallocentric nature of Greek society allows Jason to dismiss Medea as “weak [and] passive,” for as a barbarian and a woman Jason logically perceives that she presents no threat to him. As such it is with little pathos or emotion that Jason tells Medea that “if women didn’t exist,/Human life would be rid of all its miseries.” Here Vellacott’s translation employs use of sharp, laconic sentence structure to imply the cold, sterile nature of Jason’s character as one that is “not swayed by passion.” It is this extremity of logic that Euripides condemns; as Jason’s logical decision to abandon his “Asiatic wife” in favour of more prestigious “royal blood” results in the contempt of audiences who recognises he is “acting wrongly.” Jason’s rational decision to abandon his wife and become an “oath breaker” is made all the more detestable to audiences as he ‘logically’ attempts to validate his actions under the guise of providing for both “[Medea’s] interests and [his] children’s.” Highhandedly Jason claims his marriage has allowed him “to ensure [Medea’s] future” and “to give [his] sons brothers.” However it is the pithy and blunt manner, in which he tells Medea “you are banished,” that reveals his true lack of regard for both his wife and the oath he took as her husband. Thus Euripides highlights that Jason is worthy of contempt not just due to the nature of his betrayal of Medea, but also due to his lack of moderation: the extremity with which Jason bases his character on logic and rationality is the pivotal cause of his complete destruction at the hands of Medea.

Euripides further asserts Medea is justified in her anger against a social system which labels her existence as little more than a “miser[y].” The calcified social structure of Athenian society seeks to subordinate women to the power of men.  Though Euripides’ use of stage direction highlights that Medea is “cool and self-possessed,” Medea is type casted to be little more than a “mad bull” and a “lioness guarding her cubs,” as her nature as an ‘Other’ results in her subsequent dehumanisation as a barbarian possessing little self-restraint and rational thinking. Jason’s accusations that Medea acts with “ungoverned rage” both against himself and against the Athenian society which provides “no justice” to “the most wretched” women highlights the patriarchal nature of the Greek world, as the complexity of Medea’s motivations are reduced to “mere sex jealousy.” In reality Jason’s actions have destroyed Medea’s very existence; she cries out, lamenting “[her] poor right hand” and “[her] knees/which [Jason] then clung to.” Jason’s actions have violated every part of Medea’s body – from her hands to her knees, her entire existence as predicated on the love and relationship they shared together, has been nullified by Jason’s breaking of their marriage oath. The sheer physicality of her pain in a social structure that validates Jason’s actions to be a “thing [that] is common” justifies Medea’s feelings of anger and frustration. Euripides thus demonstrates the social ironies of Athenian society which claims that “force yields place to law” and yet provides justice to all accept women, emphasising that Medea’s persecution allows her to justly feel anger against the Athenian social matrix.

While this anger may be justified, Euripides argues that Medea’s violence is worthy of the audiences condemnation, as Medea’s actions are extreme in their passion. Euripides highlights the moral degradation as caused by such acts of violence, as evident in the manner in which Medea’s decision gain vengeance against Jason has warped the nature of her character; “You’ll give me/double pleasure if their death was horrible,” she tells the Messenger, as the gruesome pleasure she takes from the deaths of Creon and Glauche highlights the disintegration of her moral character. Medea has now thus become the “Tuscan Scylla,” and the “wild bull” Jason has accused her of being – she is a monster ruled foremost by her bloody passions. The moral cost of such violent action is evident in the play’s climax as Medea changes her mind four times when deliberating whether or not to kill her children, shouting “No! No! No! By all the fiends of hate in hell’s depths, no.” Here Vellacott’s use of punctuation strongly articulates the visceral nature of Medea’s passion as she rises up against her children, her violent need to procure revenge against Jason obliterating the gentle love she has for her “own little ones.” Euripides thus reveals to that audience the central tragedy of the play as one wherein violent passions overcomes reason and logic, as Medea’s transformation from flawed human to immoral beast acts as condemnation of the moral repercussions of partaking in violent actions.

Indeed Medea acts to highlight the breadth and depth of the human condition, as passionate anger and violence are an intrinsic facets of man. As such Euripides does not seek to condemn passion, but rather understands it to be a just cause of anger, in a social system that is based firmly on the foundations of masculine logic. It is thus when this anger is morphed into extremity that man faces moral repercussion, and Euripides advocates for an ideal of moderation between the extremes of unrestrained passion and restrictive logic.
Title: Re: English Resources and Sample High Scoring Responses
Post by: heids on December 25, 2015, 10:05:13 am
(front page updated, thanks all contributors and keep it coming! and yes please for that LA, thaaanyan!)

And a language analysis by Splash-Tackle-Flail :)

(sorry, I'm certain there are typist's errors in it, Splash's handwriting wasn't... so good on this one :P)

The Boozy Country – A language analysis

Untimed planning, 61 minutes writing

1.   Depiction of alcohol
2.   Australia’s relationship to alcohol over the years
3.   Current issues is alcohol --> uncontrolled

Following the recent prevalence of alcohol-related violence and disruption Andrew Clark has written a features article in the Australian Financial Review titled “The Boozy Country” (25-27/1-2014).  Clark appeals to predominantly mature readers, especially those familiar with alcohol and its effects when consumed to expose the drugs true horrific potential, that is only heightened by lenient government administration of it.  Backed by a range of substantiating graphical visuals, Clark seeks to produce newfound disgust in alcohol, subtlely prompting a public call for stricter alcohol regulations.

By introducing his article with an anecdotal depiction of convicts in 1788, “fuelled by rum” in a “drunken orgy”, Clark immediately exposes alcohol potential to influence immoral behaviour such as rape and crime, compelling readers to concede that alcohol is perhaps more potent than the social drink it is depicted as today.  Clark further relates alcohol to moral corruption, as he elaborates how “convicts were assigned to masters” and prompted to work through “alcohol”; this relation of the drink to a means to encourage slaves positions readers to view the drug as a source of corruption and misdemeanour.  This is heightened by Clark’s use of historical examples, as a means to substantiate his disdainful perspective of alcohol while simultaneously presenting himself to readers as well researched, and hence, reasoned and credible in his opinion.  The involving of the “Rum Rebellion of 1808”, described as the “only successful armed takeover of government in Australian history” further reiterates alcohol’s penchant for inciting violence, even to the extent of public dissent, and eventual administrative upheaval.  As Clark reminds, this Rum Revolution coincided with Australia’s [… content lost in scanning…] statistical evidence.  However, this acknolwedgment is a means to exude a sense of authenticity in his attempts to denounce alcohol’s destructive capabilities, suggesting Clark’s resolve is truthful, not sensationalising, thus urging readers to share his disgust, and perhaps fear, of alcohol’s potential for violence.

Clark also explores Australia’s historical attitude to alcohol; perhaps his remarks on the nation’s long-lasting relationship to the drink appeals to the reader’s sense of patriotism as a proud citizen in “simply a nation of drunkards”.  Through interesting, alcohol-related factual evidence, such as how Prime Minister Bob Hawke, “held the Guiness beer drinking record”, Clark concedes that alcohol is an intrinsic fact of Australian culture, thus coming off as reasoned, yet still reminds us that consequently alcohol induced violence has emerged as a relevant issue.  The significance of alcohol in Australian lifestyles is highlighted in phrases such as “Australian literature is drenched in alcohol”: the verb “drenched” connotes alcohol’s overwhelming prevalence in our society.  Each of these acknowledgements, however, are quickly followed by quoted statements such as how alcohol’s role in Australia has “changed but it’s almost like it’s come full circle”, a reference shocking readers into realising, with a sense of urgency, the nation’s gradual descent towards the alcohol related ____ behaviour of penal convicts.  Contrarily, Clarke adopts a more admiring voice to reveal Australia’s conservative attitude to alcohol in the Victorian era, which he depicts as “morally upright”, a “powerful inhibitor on drinking”.  Clark relates this attitude to the era’s “good manners and good dress”, juxtaposing their lifestyle to Australia’s current one, characterised as a looming “convict stain” of drunkenness and debauchery, seeking to position us to view alcohol as even toxic to society’s sense of manner and respect.  More importantly, the exposure of Australia’s Middle-class, 1850s separation from alcohol covertly acts as a hopeful reminder of our nation’s potential to adopt a more diligent, controlled attitude to alcohol.

By describing alcohol-induced violent incidents in 2012 as “Scene two”, Clark immediately establishes in readers a relationship between the current alcohol-induced violence, and 1788’s barbaric “drunken orgy”, suggesting to readers that the “blow” that “sends Kelly’s head smashing into the concrete” and Loveridge’s “unprovoked attack” of 18-year-old Thomas Kelly are present day echoes of alcohol’s corruptive, inhibiting influence.  Revulsion and indignation are evoked in readers over these easily preventable tragedies that are then targeted towards “politicians historically suborned by the powerful grog lobby”; we are angered that Australia has not learned from its past alcohol-related mistakes, and this is directed towards politicians – those Clark deems responsible for these incidents through their lenience.  Current alcohol induced violence is further depicted in the range of graphical visuals, such as a time series indicating the overall rise in non-domestic alcohol related assault.  A bar graph demonstrates a high proportion of “high risk” young adult drinkers, further evidenced by a column graph revealing Australian citizens’ preference to drink at home, where alcohol consumption is unregulated.  A bar graph further reveals a drastic increase in violence as a result of alcohol and steroids; the recent staggering increase reminding readers of the issue’s relevance and the urgent need for it to be addressed.  All these statistical illustrations highlight the significance of alcohol, and its correlation to the increasingly common incidents of violence, in particular by young adults.  This is encapsulated by Waterhouse’s statement, “problems of binge drinking and alcohol-fuelled violence among the young” are due to “ease of access to alcohol”, clearly and concisely offering readers a solution they can support.

Clark concludes his piece by returning to Australia’s former “middle-class respectability” and how “once this was gone it all fell apart”.  From this readers are given a resounding sense of hope a solution to the alcohol induced violence can be achieved, predominantly through changing Australia’s attitude to alcohol.
Title: Re: English Resources and Sample High Scoring Responses
Post by: Pawnpusher on January 02, 2016, 06:47:16 pm
This Boy's Life Thematic/Quote Analysis.

This Boy's Life is a wonderful book. I enjoyed it tremendously studying it, and over my year 12 year I compiled many analysis's of the book. This are some of the ones I found particularly good.
 
Disclaimer: There is a lot of "Wolff this" and "Wolff that".  Much like an essay.

Chapter by Chapter Analysis

Fortune

The story begins with the car [falling] hundreds of feet. It is a metaphor by Wolff to symbolize Jack and Rosemary's journey. It foreshadows them relentlessly moving forward, without time for pause, heading inevitably towards disaster. It can also be linked with Rosemary’s incautious decision to send Jack away with Dwight, a man she did not know well, or even if she wanted to be with him. This similarly embodies a car without brakes. A decision made in haste, bound for disaster.

They ran to get away from a man my mother was afraid of and to get rich on Uranium.(p.3) An implausible plan. Its the contrary of the American Dream. The American Dream stands at hard work = success. However, in this case, it suggest the naivety of young Jack and his mother; To suddenly get rich with little work suggests a lack of understanding about how success works. Again this idea is correlated when Jack exclaimed that everything was going to change when my mother went out West. (p.4)
Again it suggests that their dreams are simply fantasies, as Wolff juxtaposes his mother’s ‘dream’ with his naive idea that simply moving location would fix their problems.

Their naive mindset is also brought forth in the instance where when they headed to Salt Lake City because there must be some ore somewhere around here (p.6) This exemplifies Rosemary's fallacious belief that the Universe will provide for her and that there is innate justice in the world, despite all evidence to the contrary.

Ah Rosemary mate, at this point in the book i called gg for her. I think she is a wonderful character but Wolff portrays her as very naive early on. Wolff implicitly demonstrates that Rosemary constantly makes the wrong choices. There is several instances in this chapter.

1) Rosemary drew the wrong conclusions. The fact that nobody else had found any meant we would have the place pretty much to ourselves (P.6) Here rather than understanding that the absence of ore means that its already taken, they take it as evidence of their success.

2) But his letter was so friendly. My mother just knew she'd get a job out of him. (Pg 6) Not much to be said here, i would be regurgitating from the previous points.

Okay some stuff about Toby/Jack now.
He is an interesting character. For me, it starts at his games (archery + shooting). Jack's own analysis of the arrow game - never admitting what the real object was; to bring somebody down. p.9. Here we see the start of Jack's cruelty, and the enduring theme of how the suffering of others can help cover his own insecurities. His insecurity is still there when he admits that everybody but my mother saw through me and did not like they saw. (p9). The reader is hinted at Jack's lack of self-worth.

Jack is complicated.

With Roy, Jack accepts that strangeness as he admits that over the years, it [became] ordinary to me (p.12) Strange = normal becomes a common aspect in Jack's life. This is proven as he later fails to question situations which he should.

Its never black or white with Jack. While he is rebellious, he is often compliant and eager to please. This is seen as Roy smiled at me and I gave in. I smiled back. (p.13) This shows he can be manipulated. It also shows that he complies with others.

Another theme early on. Power.
A couple of quotes.
Power can only be enjoyed if it is recognized and feared. (Pg 20)
Wolff examines the way having power is not satisfying in itself, it has to impart fear on others and allow one to enjoy the superiority that their status gives them.
I had to shoot. (Pg 21)
The temptation to enact of control over something or someone is born from those who have no control. Jack’s compulsion to shoot reflects his desperate desire to take control.

To finish off this section we'll get to a favorite part of mine. Here, late Christmas present, have a big quote.
...did an imitation of someone praying, then did an imitation of someone receiving divine reassurance. I stopped crying. I smiled to myself and forced a feeling of warmth into my chest. Then I climbed back into my bed and looked at the ceiling with a blissful expression until I went to sleep. (p21).
Jack skips real prayer to go straight to its pale imitation. This mirrors many later instances when he opts to offer what he thinks is expected rather than genuine emotion or remorse. Similarly, in the way that genuine repentance is impossible, genuine reassurance is as well. Interestingly, even though Jack knows that his repentance he is asking for his fake and the forgiveness he is asking for is non-existing, he still receives reassurance from the act and goes to sleep with a ‘blissful expression’. Wolff suggests that while Jack has an inability to receive assistance and no chance of genuine ‘reassurance’ he will provide it for himself through imitated acts of contrition; a genuine coping strategy.

Uncool

American Dream will be looked at here.

As Rosemary Rosemary and Jack walked around stopping in front of different houses to consider them as candidates for future purchase. We went for the biggest and most pretentious. Despite all odds, they still believe in the American Dream and their chance to ‘make it.’ As if suddenly moving up the ladder, skipping many rungs is possible.

People at a party braced themselves and put on joviality like a party hat. Even I could see the hopelessness in their imitation of gaiety. (p51). The American Dream is a veneer. The happy expressions Wolff sees at parties and on families are false. He is conscious of this and cynical of it, yet there is always the desire to belong.

Jack in this chapter:
The silence made me uncomfortable and in my discomfort I smiled at Silver. Again, despite personal discomfort Jack projects a false representation of himself to match what he thinks he should be presenting.

Jack and his mates attack on the rich handsome young man was an attack on the rigid social structure that excluded them from the American Dream. Wolff suggests that Jack has outgrown his naïve belief that he can overcome the odds with optimism and he shows the bitterness that instills in people.

Rosemary time:
The price was right, next to nothing, and she believed in it’s possibilities, a word used often by he man who showed it to her. P.47 Rosemary has a defiant belief in ‘possibilities’. The salesman’s use of this phrase suggests how fallacious this belief is.

As Rosemary [listened] with narrowed eyes to show she was shrewd and would not be easily taken in….ended up agreeing….signed a contract on the hood of the mans car while he held a flashlight over the paper.’ 47.
Wolff uses irony here to suggest that Rosemary is not shrewd, the place is not close to perfect and she makes a poor decision.

She was so good at making us see it her way that we began to feel that everything needful had already been done p.48 Wolff examines the way that Rosemary constructs hope and instills it in others. Even when it is unfounded, hope can be infectious

But Daddy left some marks on her. One of them was a strange docility, almost paralysis with men of a tyrant breed.P.49. Wolff explores how Rosemary’s manipulative and tyrannical father has made her powerless to oppose other men like this. He suggests that our upbringing can be responsible for our later problems.

Rosemary also has a contradictory hatred of coercion. She’d never been able to spank me….That wasn’t the way she wanted to be with me and she didn’t think I needed it anyway. 49 Rosemary incorrectly assumes that Jack doesn’t need discipline. She gives him none because she dislikes giving it, rather than diagnosing it as unnecessary.

Oooo Dwight time. This guy lmao, if he was a meme he'd be a rare pepe. After visiting Dwights home in

Chinook, Dwight points out Salmon to Jack. They came a long way from the ocean to spawn here, Dwight said, and then they would die…They were dying already… Long strips of flesh hung off their bodies…p.62 Wolff is metaphorically suggesting that Jack and Rosemary’s movement away from their home into the unknown is doomed. More broadly, he is examining the way that the constant journey looking for change and security is futile. More than that, the toll it takes is as visible as the ‘strips of flesh’ hanging from the body.

A Whole New Deal

As Dwight had gone out of his way to run over a beaver. It shows an ominous sign of cruelty.

Just a few things about Jack in this chapter.
‘Unlike my mother, I was fiercely conventional’ p.74 At this point Wolff allows jack’s desire to belong to supersede his rebellion.
‘I was tempted by the idea of belonging to a conventional family.’ P.74 Wolff juxtaposes belonging and conformity. Jack definitely desires community but he is ‘tempted’ by it, rather than convinced by it. Similarly, he is drawn to the ‘idea’, rather than the reality.
‘I could introduce myself as … a boy of consequence’ p.74 This example of reinvention suggests that this description is different to how he actually is.

Citizenship In The Home

‘Dwight’s bill of particulars contained some truth…. It never ended and it lost it’s power to hurt me.’ P.83 Jack is aware of his many flaws however there are so many of them that he refuses to be weighed down by them.

We always left the meetings together, like father and son, smiling and waving goodbye, then walking home in silence.’ P.84 This is food for thought, was this charade from a sense of obligation or desire to belong?

‘Boy’s Life’ – the scout magazine that he ‘read in a trance, accepting without question its narcotic invitation to believe that I was really no different from the boys whose hustle and pluck it celebrated. This reflects Jack’s innate desire to belong and to fit into America’s definite of what a healthy young male is. However Wolff’s use of the words ‘accepting without question’ suggests that the belief is delusional and unrealistic.

Of Dwight’s fighting technique; ‘It was simple really. You just walked up to someone and kicked them in the balls.’ Dwight’s technique reflects what he has learnt from life; the odds are so stacked against you that you can’t be honest in attempting to face them. You have to be duplicitous and snatch whatever advantage you can get.

Skipper becomes emotional when he hears a song about a man who kills another man but the man never finds out that the jury has acquitted him on grounds of self defence.’ 103 Skipper, who has a clear escape plan himself, can already recognise the tragedy of running needlessly and endlessly, and empathises with those who are doomed to his own fate.

Citizenship in School

Teacher asks them to name their favourite amendment. Every knew the answer was ‘the Right to Bear Arms’ but she wrote ‘Freedom of Speech’. It shows that even in matters of opinions, there is apparently correct answers.

Of Arthur ‘I knew he was no citizen and he knew I was no outlaw’ ‘that I was not hard or uncaring of the future, or contemptuous of the opinion’ 186. Jack is incredulous that his mask and attempt at transformation has not succeeded

‘Knowing that everything comes to an end is a gift of experience, a consolation gift for knowing that we ourselves are coming to an end. Before we get it, we live in continuous present, and imagine the future as more of that present. Happiness is endless happiness, innocent of it’s own sure passing. Pain is endless pain.’ 194 Wolff literally states the knowledge he has over his younger self. He has learnt that experiences are fleeting and both positive and negative experiences move on.

The Amen Corner

‘He wanted a good life. The good life he had in mind for himself was just as conventional as the one that I had mind for myself, though without it’s epic pretensions.’ 215 Jack is aware that the desire of others to be secure is reasonable but he desire to be loved and admired is not.

‘Chuck held onto his dream as if it were actual. He was prepared to go to prison for it.’ 215 Belief can be a powerful motivator. Chuck’s belief that there was something better for him meant more to him than his freedom.

Amen

‘If I worked hard I could stay afloat, as soon as I relaxed I went under.’ 241. While Wolff is referring to his schooling, this could easily be applied to his broader life.

‘Then I went into the army. I did so with a sense of relief and homecoming. It was good to find myself in the clear life of uniforms and ranks and weapons.’ 241. His long-standing belief that the military would fix him shows Jack’s desire for control and order.

‘All I needed was a war. Be careful what you wish for.’ Food for thought. Read the quote above. Interesting huh, there's a toll in everything, even in control and order.

I obviously did not examine everything, probably a small % of the book, however, these notes helped me tremendously and i pass them on as i go onto university. Good Luck.





 
Title: Re: English Resources and Sample High Scoring Responses
Post by: literally lauren on January 25, 2016, 12:21:26 pm
The following piece was a high scoring creative Context piece from user ST0123 in response to the Whose Reality prompt: 'We can evade reality but we can't evade the consequences of doing so.' Set text was 'The Lot' by Michael Leunig.

Pleasure Spots

The following is an essay written by the journalist-writer Benedict Eve, which was published in The Sunday Age.

"Illusions commend themselves to us because they save us pain and allow us to enjoy pleasure instead. We must therefore accept it without complaint when they sometimes collide with a bit of reality against which they are dashed to pieces." – Sigmund Freud.

Many years ago I went to Las Vegas to visit my sister who had just given birth to her first daughter. Living in a small city apartment, there was no room for me to stay with her and her husband, so Bree (my sister) helped me book a room in a nearby hotel. Expecting it to be a quaint little place that would provide for my simple accommodation needs, I was completely astounded by the colossal chained-brand hotel where I stayed: The Venetian resort. 

I can safely say that my stay at the “five-star” casino-hotel was the most distressing and discomforting experience I have ever had in my life that has probably caused me to age five years in the space of five days. In the heart of the complex was an indoor canal with “genuine and authentic” gondolas steered by less authentic and definitely not-Italian gondoliers who wore cringe-worthy uniforms that were garnished with a straw hat probably made in China. On both sides of the canal stood a line of boutiques, cafes and restaurants with “river-side views” built in the Romanesque and Gothic styles with balconies looking down on the scene below. Like the actual Venice in summer, in the hotel, the sky above the canal was and always will be a sapphire blue speckled with clouds – the only difference being that the sky is painted on the ceiling in the hotel (but not in actual Venice). The hotel boasted of ten different pools including three indoor heated water parks, indoor movie theatres and clubs, making guests’ stay a “slice of Venice”.

Almost seventy years ago, George Orwell wrote a sardonic essay, Pleasure Spots, which condemned the blue print of a post war pleasure resort with “sliding roofs”, “dance floor[s ] made of translucent plastic”, “a battery of skittle alleys” and “sunlight lamps” over “pools to simulate high summer” during winter. I wonder what he would have to say about The Venetian hotel or the even more outrageous terrarium in the south of Berlin, the Tropical Island resort. Thousands each year flock to this indoor beach resort with a forest, whirlpools and waterfalls housed in an old airship hanger protected from the weather outside. I think dear George would have been mortified.

It is surprising how many people stay at The Venetian when the real Venice is only thirteen hours away by plane and even more surprising how popular replica resorts have become around the world when previously, travelling around the globe was the dream for most. I suppose that to many, the idea of entering a quasi-Venice or Egypt is enticing as it is a way to escape from everyday life. Just like novels, film and television, these hotels allow people to enter a bubble of artifice, a bubble that contains a completely different world to their actual reality, the life that they have lived and will continue live for the entirety of their existence. Protected from the weather by being protected with cement walls, replica resorts are loved as they simulate the perfect world – a world where everything is just a little bit brighter and a little bit better. There is a sort of exhilaration, a possibility of the unknown, where people can shed their responsibilities and live another life, be who they’ve always wanted be and do what they always wanted to do for just a moment. As Orwell put it, these resorts are a place where we can evade “consciousness”.

In a world of harsh truths – war, famine, poverty and the fact that we still have to deal with Abbott for two more years, it is understandable, and in fact, healthy that people sometimes need to take breaks from the world we live in, our reality. Every time we reach for Robinson Crusoe rather than the newspaper is a perfectly acceptable indulgence, and we can happily return back to the ‘real world’ after this small diversion, more restful and peaceful at mind.

So when does a preference for illusions and fantasies become a problem and what does this mean for “beloved” hotels such as The Venetian resort? I suppose that although horrific to Orwell, “destroy[ing] consciousness” may not be as disastrous at it first seems. Indeed, it may not be bliss for philosophers, but many of society are content to live ignorantly and do so even in the present day. When it comes to politics and government, many citizens vote based on their preconceptions, prejudices and from the depictions of ministers they’ve witnessed on media. It seems that a true understanding of democracy and our Australian government has dwindled in recent years; however, this has not caused wide spread suffering. We only regrets that we must witness the embarrassment of elected Prime Ministers on social media for three years.

When we reflect on history, ignorance and unconsciousness have not greatly threatened our lifestyles as Homo sapiens have been able to thrive even from the most primitive Stone Ages when we lacked cognitive abilities. I suppose this isn’t exactly escaping reality, but rather limiting it. Consequences as such do not arise from a lack of consciousness but rather when the distinction between “reality”, the external world, and fantasy become blurred. Perhaps the most prominent character who demonstrates this is Willy Loman from Arthur Miller’s Death of a Salesman. A man who fails to attain the American Dream but believes it is him, rather than the system at fault, Willy evades the reality that he is a failure by creating a façade for both himself and his family that he is a successful salesman. Ultimately, the chasm between his reality, the truth of his situation, and the veneer he displays is impossible to reconcile that he rejects his reality, preferring his illusions.

However, Willy is not the only one living in the threshold between reality and fantasy; we, as modern citizens experience this tension everyday through institutions such as replica hotels, reality television where fantasy seems to supersede reality. These “replicas” of the world have gained a foothold, resulting in an actualisation of Baudrillard’s simulation-simulacra theory. First simulating the external world through imitating famous holiday destinations and quotidian life, hotels like the Venetian and reality television shows have now manifested from a representation to being perceive as portraying the world as it is. In fact, as Woody Allen exclaimed, “life doesn’t imitate art, it imitates bad television”. It is no one wonder that many like Leunig have described humanity as being in the midst of social madness when we do not interact with the world itself but a layer of veneer that superficial replicates it. Although there have been no serious consequences yet, I’m sure that when, if we ever, surface from fantasy to reality, where our illusions will be “dashed to pieces” there will be a subsequent riot and anarchy. Hopefully, people will also reflect on existence and seek Satre and Plato for guidance.

Perhaps the common man will reach an epiphany that we need to interact authentically and there will be a riot in which hotels like The Venetian will be torn down in a defiant relinquishment of facade. Or perhaps all will despair and seek further solace from fantasy. But until then, I will think of the guests in The Venetian, the tired individuals each seeking some pleasure and escape in the resort, and pray that they find what they seek, but resurface from the hotel with a hunger and love for life, their lives. 
Title: Re: English Resources and Sample Essays
Post by: bluetongue on June 29, 2016, 08:57:26 pm
Sorry if I've made any mistakes by posting this, it's my first post after lurking on here for so long...

zunguzungu's 5 part analysis of In the Country of Men
okay, so that only took me 3 tries to format because it's been years since I've used BBcode...
A fantastic analysis that mainly focuses on the symbols in ITCOM; I came across this gem just by typing "In the country of men symbols". zunguzungu has a idiosyncratic name, sure, but it's also hard to remember...

Perdue Online Writing Lab (or Perdue OWL): Developing Strong Thesis Statements
Very thorough, sometimes jargon-heavy articles on how to write well. Ironically I cannot write a good sentence that describes this resource This is just one of the many pages it has, I suggest you keep on clicking around. It really breaks down the writing process and helps you understand what you are writing, and by understanding how you write, you know how to write better.

That's all I've got so far. Most other resources came from here :P
Title: Re: English Resources and Sample Essays
Post by: HopefulLawStudent on December 16, 2016, 11:48:29 am
Bump!

If anyone has any essays, notes or pretty much anything that they want to contribute (and aren't selling or anything), please feel free to either post in the thread or PM an English mod. From memory, text response is largely unchanged under the new study design as is language analysis. You can keep your Context essays though because it no longer exists under this new study design (RIP Context, you might be missed).
Title: Re: English Resources and Sample Essays
Post by: TheCommando on March 30, 2017, 12:02:17 am
Hi, doesnt seem like there is much on creative writing but since i have a sac on it are there any high scoring responses of this as there wasnt a list. Its for beyond the beautiful forevers
Title: Re: English Resources and Sample Essays
Post by: TheCommando on July 14, 2017, 09:03:23 pm
For the final aos are there any comparitive resources?
Title: Re: English Resources and Sample Essays
Post by: HopefulLawStudent on July 22, 2017, 06:34:20 pm
Didn't notice these posts til now and I'm going to reply anyway just in case you were still looking. Unfortunately, as this is the first year of the new study design, there aren't really all that many VCE resources on the creative or the comparative (from what I've seen anyway).

Hi, doesnt seem like there is much on creative writing but since i have a sac on it are there any high scoring responses of this as there wasnt a list. Its for beyond the beautiful forevers

Unfortunately, I haven't been able to find any high scoring creatives yet (but if anyone has any, I will be sure to shower anyone who adds creatives with +1's and lots of love so please, feel free to post some up or if you're feeling shy, please feel free to message me your creative and I'll happily post it up for you anonymously). There should also be a couple of creatives up on the English Submissions and Markings board but I don't think there are any for Beyond the Beautiful Forevers (not that I could see anyway).

For the final aos are there any comparitive resources?

Same problem with creative resources in that there aren't all that many as of yet which is frustrating, I know. With that said though, have you checked out my lecture slides from ATARNotes' free July lectures? There was a whole content block devoted to comparative resources in that lecture and should serve as a nice starting point.
Title: Re: English Resources and Sample Essays
Post by: TheCommando on July 22, 2017, 07:54:54 pm
Didn't notice these posts til now and I'm going to reply anyway just in case you were still looking. Unfortunately, as this is the first year of the new study design, there aren't really all that many VCE resources on the creative or the comparative (from what I've seen anyway).

Unfortunately, I haven't been able to find any high scoring creatives yet (but if anyone has any, I will be sure to shower anyone who adds creatives with +1's and lots of love so please, feel free to post some up or if you're feeling shy, please feel free to message me your creative and I'll happily post it up for you anonymously). There should also be a couple of creatives up on the English Submissions and Markings board but I don't think there are any for Beyond the Beautiful Forevers (not that I could see anyway).

Same problem with creative resources in that there aren't all that many as of yet which is frustrating, I know. With that said though, have you checked out my lecture slides from ATARNotes' free July lectures? There was a whole content block devoted to comparative resources in that lecture and should serve as a nice starting point.
No, i have the notes book though
Damm that sucks cause compartive is on the exam.
The lack of resources for Creative writing  reallyt doesnt mattee as i dont have to do it anymore

Will search for the slides on the notes section
Thanks
Title: Re: English Resources and Sample Essays
Post by: J_Rho on September 24, 2019, 02:28:41 pm
Resources of comparative???