Hi I'm willing to give you a bit of a crash course on how I structured my essays, and I will include a sample intro and body paragraph below. Note that the essay isn't perfect, there are some instances of clumsy language, but it is still considered upper range.
There is an easy template that can be followed for writing an effective
intro:
1. Immediately rephrase the question in order to provide a contention.
2. Define the key terms of the question in order to set the parameters of your essay – terms can be given a broad or specific definition in order to better serve your arguments.
3. Outline of what your key arguments will be, however, these must be kept broad so as to encompass the entirety of your paragraph (think of them as topic sentences). Be aware that when writing your body paragraphs you must link them to your introduction.
4. Finally, you must restate and expand on your contention so as to reaffirm its presence in your examiners mind.
Sample Intro for a text response on David Malouf's
Ransom:
Prompt: Priam is the most courageous character in Ransom. Do you agree?
David Malouf has explored many concepts concerning courage in order to fully encapsulate its meaning within his poetic retell of Homer’s
Iliad –
Ransom. To Malouf, courage is determined through acts of valour and bravery; it also involves the notion of humility, a recurring motif within
Ransom. Juxtaposing the classical mythology of the
Iliad Malouf’s understanding of courage is not centred on feats of military prowess but rather explores courage as an expression of humanity. This contrast is a central focus throughout the text as we witness those who would once be considered to possess courage portrayed as the most flawed individuals within
Ransom. Malouf also considers the inherent bravery that one must possess in opening themselves up to the transformative realm of 'chance' through the feats of the Trojan King Priam. Moreover, he illustrates the potency of courage within ordinary, everyday life through the humble ‘carter’ Somax. Thus, rather than purely explore the courage of one individual within
Ransom, Malouf’s work lends itself to an examination of its entire expression within humanity.
Take away:
— Pay particular attention to the way that courage is loosely defined so that it can be examined from varying degrees and be subject to a range of interpretations.
My method for
body paragraphs make use of consequential thought. This is a chain reaction type approach which shows how one event within the text leads to another, using evidence the entire way through to show its relevance to a particular theme or idea. This basically means following this formula: event, explanation, evidence and using it as many times as necessary to get your point across before linking to your contention (you will see this in operation in the sample paragraph). Note that it can be a bit tricky to get used to this style of writing, however the more intimately you know your text, the easier it becomes.
In spite of this, your topic sentence is still the most critical point of your body paragraph. It must link back to what you wrote in your into as well as linking to your contention and signposting the rest of the paragraph – often longer topic sentences do this better rather than short ones.
Sample body paragraph for the aforementioned question on courage in Ransom:
Topic SentenceRansom questions the classical interpretation of bravery and heroism and instead subverts this understanding by presenting those individuals thought to possess such qualities as anti-heroes.
Remainder of bodyAchilles, hero of the
Iliad and quintessential embodiment of power and the ‘warrior spirit’ is introduced to readers within
Ransom ‘hunker[ing] down… shoulders hunched’. Initially he is presented as a man who is ‘listening for the voice of his mother tasting the sharp salt’ of his reality without her on ‘his lip’. Hardly an impenetrable hero he is ‘darkly divided’. In the aftermath of the loss of his ‘soul mate’, Patroclus, Achilles is inconsolable, indeed we witness ‘his soul change colour’. Exulted as the ‘most ferocious’ of the Greeks, Achilles is a man infatuated with the destruction of his fallen enemy Hector. The fact that Malouf articulates this act of desecration with such unflinching attention to detail highlights that he is intent on drawing this unheroic act out before his audience. Rather than possess the courage to lift himself out of his state of disillusion the famed warrior ‘calls silently for a spirit that doesn’t answer and sleeps’. These are not actions associated with heroism or courage but rather make the audience pity the ‘noble bully’ that Achilles has become. Similarly, Heracles, a figure from Priam’s early history and renowned as “the labourer of the gods” in other texts, too is a traditional hero. Yet ‘the whole terrible machinery of the man’ is just ‘rank meatiness’ and is unable to comprehend Hesione’s act of compassion – rather he thought she would ‘choose some gaudy trinket’ than save her brother. He is made to look both ‘brutish’ and ‘foolish’ before Hesione and her great act of courage. It is through this exchange that Malouf suggests that acts of bravery do not always belong to the physically commanding and powerful but also reside with the meek and uncelebrated.
Take aways:— Make sure there is always a very explicit link to your contention and the topic itself. This is critical because examiners are usually on the look out for pre-prepared responses.
— Note the use of descriptors, these are short quotes which can be seamlessly inserted into your paragraph in order to describe events from the text. This shows a greater understanding of the text you have studied.
Feel free to ask me anymore questions about this style of response
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