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strawberry7898

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Re: English Language essay submission and marking
« Reply #210 on: September 03, 2016, 07:37:58 pm »
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Hi, this is one of my practice essays for the Australian English area of study. My SAC is this week, please let me know what you think, thanks :)

“Language is a road map of a culture. It tells you where its people have come from and where they are going.” How does this apply to Australian English?

Former Prime Minister of Australia, John Howard, once said “nothing unites a country more than its common language because from a language comes a history and a culture.” Australian English has developed into one of the most multiculturally influenced languages in the world. This is as a result of the origins of Australian English and the many paths it has crossed with other nationalities. As well as this, the state of Australian English in the present day can determine what the language is likely to evolve into. The significant impact of the internet as well as the migration of several nationalities is promising a more globalised Australian English. Overall, the cultural identity reflected in Australian English demonstrates the origins of the English variety as well as the likelihood of where it is headed.

The history of Australian English has influenced the way Australian English exists today. The uniqueness of the Australian accent was initially created by the children who arrived on the First Fleet. This was called a ‘Foundation Accent’, which paved the way from the Australian accent to develop. The Australian gold rush that began in 1852 allowed Australian English to interact with several different nationalities in a way it never had before. Within this year, roughly 370,000 immigrants arrived in Australia, mainly from France, Italy, America, Hungary, and most prominently, China. In addition to this, many Australian slang terms were created during the gold rush, such as “drop on it” (meaning to come upon gold) and “new chum” (a novice digger). Furthermore, once Federation began in 1901, the White Australia Policy came into place. This was a policy that stated that non-European immigrants were not allowed to migrate into Australia. Although this excluded several continents, many European migrations still occurred, most prominently from Germany, Greece and Italy. This slowly begun the development of ethnolects in Australia as these non-English speaking cultures segregated themselves from the English speaking individuals to explore their common grounds with one another, in suburbs such as Grovedale, Oakleigh. Moreover, the increasing need for Australians to validate themselves in the global scale created the desire to admire the British culture and thus speak with highly cultivated accents. This is what is known now as the ‘cultural cringe’, which caused the majority of the Australian population, as well as the rest of the world, to perceive their accent as a “lazy accent” and thus adopt the methods of the British accent. This resulted in elocution classes taking place in primary schools, so children could develop cultivated accents rather than general or broad accents. During 1968-1972, the ‘cultural revolution’ begun, which taught Australians to embrace their unique accent and create their own national identity, instead of following in the steps of the British. This may have been heavily influenced by the leader of the Labor Party at the time, Gough Whitlam, who was one of the first Australian members of Parliament, and later Prime Ministers, to promote a general Australian accent. As well as this, Whitlam also transformed the rights of Indigenous Australians, such as allowing them to reclaim their native land. This also developed the Aboriginal English ethnolect that was previously disregarded and mistreated by non-Indigenous Australians. Overall, the events that occurred in Australian history has contributed to the present state of Australian English

The stature of Australian English presently is as a result of its past, and can be used to determine the future of the language. Australia, as explored by Dr Patricia Edgar, is “developing a complex and diverse multicultural society that is a unique social experiment in the world.” This is evident in the several ethnolects and presence of bilingualism in this country. Also reported by Dr Patricia Edgar, “around three million Australians speak a language other than English at home.”, which clearly demonstrates the effect immigration has had on our country. As well as this, a high majority of primary and secondary schools in Australia teach a language other than English as part of their curriculums. This demonstrates a crossing of paths between Australian English and several other languages, showing that the English variety is vulnerable to being influenced by other languages. Moreover, Australian slang has become a prominent part of the daily vocabulary of an Australian. This includes unique lexemes, such as “stoked” (to mean pleased) and “piece of piss” (to mean easy). In addition to this, diminutives are a major element of the Australian identity, as shown in examples such as “arvo” and “brekkie”, which are truncated versions of lexemes used in everyday vocabulary in several cultures around the world. Diminutives are embraced by Australians, as made evident in the Vodaphone television advertisement “know where to go before the cabbie does”. This resembles the laid-back attitude Australians hold, as well as the strong association Australian English has with diminutives. This can be proven through the origin of the globally-used diminutive “selfie” which originated on Australian internet forum post in 2002. This also highlights the influence of technology and the internet on Australian English. Furthermore, Australian English demonstrates the history of the Australian culture as well as the future of it.

With the increasing prevalence of technology, the internet and multiculturalism in Australia, the future of Australian English is likely to be one that is very globalised. This can be seen as a negative transformation, as explored by BBC broadcaster John Humphrys with “texters savage out sentences, pillage our punctuation and rape our vocabulary.” This refers to the non-standard language features of technology, such as acronyms/initialisms “lol” (laugh out loud) and “atm” (at the moment), which are used all around the world, including Australia. These features are viewed as informal and are frequently used in Australian culture. As well as this, technology has resulted in neologisms in Australian culture, as made evident in “taking a selfie” and “do you want to uber there?”. Yet again, these features of language are not unique to Australian English, but still occur within the language, demonstrating the growing globalisation of the English variety. Additionally, the growing multiculturalism in Australia, as well as the continuous demand for English to be spoken, is resulting in many new lexemes being borrowed from other languages and being commonly used in Australian English. A recent example of this is the “halal snack pack”, which is borrowed from Arabic. This exemplifies how Australian English is evolving and growing due to the interactions it has with other languages and cultures. Overall, the influence of modern technology and multiculturalism is shaping Australia to become a globalised society, and thus a globalised variety of English.

Ultimately, Australian English demonstrates the heritage of the nation as well as where it is heading. Through key events in history, Australian English has developed into the English variety it is today. As well as this, the features of Australian English presently can help us to predict the future of the language. Overall, the past and the new realms of the Australian culture is reflected in its language.


I know that it's a bit late for feedback now but I thought I'd reply anyway. You have shown knowledge of the history stuff, good use of relevant linguist quotes, but lacking in the contemporary examples area, "selfie" and "lol" are probably far too old and overdone now and as a result lack of focus on the future of Australian English. Maybe you could discuss something about changing language attitudes when you talk about the Halal Snack Pack in more detail to link it back to your John Humphrys quote, explaining that ethnolects are gaining popularity and some of the prescriptivist attitudes are changing. I can see that you are saying that, but make the link clearer by using metalanguage like prescriptivism, descriptivism, etc. As for the halal snack pack, explain some context behind it? In short, you needed to use more recent examples and metalanguage to improve the essay, for example you could talk about code switching and find a relevant example of it from a TV show, media personality, etc to add to your point on growing bilingualism. Hope that helps :)
« Last Edit: September 03, 2016, 07:40:54 pm by strawberry7898 »

annaleese1

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Re: English Language essay submission and marking
« Reply #211 on: September 20, 2016, 11:17:17 am »
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hello i do not know how to use this so i hope im doing it right but anyway, feedback would be appreciated!!

The language we use is the best indicator of who we are, individually, socially and culturally. Discuss.

Intro: As language and identity are inextricably linked, the language we use is a vital marker of who we are individually, socially and culturally. Language reflects the multiple aspects of our identity that are all intertwined, however which face we choose to present is dependent on situational context.

BP 1: A snapshot of our individual identities can be provided at any one time, but does not holistically represent our entire identity. The particular lexis a person uses can reflect personal values, beliefs and attitudes. In the situation context of an interview with Julia Bishop (Foreign Affairs Minister), in 2015, discussing the solemn and serious issue of deaths from the MH17 flight, Eddie Maguire complies with the overt norms of Standard English and uses elevated lexemes. During the interview he says, ‘Julie, once again congratulations to you, your department and the Australian Government on the magnificent way that you’ve worked through these last 12 months’. This formal address and use of standard and polite conventions demonstrates that he is able to adhere to the formal language norms and ensure his language is appropriate for the formal nature of the discourse, and also in terms of his identity, represents his respect for the situation. In contrast to that snapshot of Eddie Maguire’s identity, in early 2016, during a discussion on his radio show he made a controversial comment towards journalist Caroline Wilson in order to establish group membership and something of a larrikin identity. He went on to say that if Caroline Wilson was to participate in the Big Freeze at the G where she would slide into a pool of freezing water, he would donate ’10 grand straight away, make it 20. And if she stays under, 50’. In this context, the discourse took place when Maguire was in the company of his friends, and reflects a less respectful aspect of his identity. Eddie then goes on to propose to his friends ‘Are you in?’. The prepositional phrase encourages responses from other interlocutors, and reflects an aspect of his identity that is not as formal. He also uses semantic patterning in the form of metaphor to describe Caroline Wilson as a ‘black widow’, which shows a lack of thoughtfulness regarding the social context of the situation. Therefore, language and identity are linked, but individual identity is fluid and multifacitated, all dependent on the situational context.

BP 2: Language is a pivotal marker of the Australian cultural identity. Specific lexical choices such as slang and diminutives, as well as Australia’s irreverent sense of humour signal an alliance to the Australian identity. Diminutives are of very common use in Australia, although they are informal, they are so widely used, they have become standard in some circumstances; even formal situations. Julia Bishop, is a big fan of the football and regularly refers to the sport in the diminutive form “footy”. This reflects that she has a laid-back, relaxed nature; much like the Australian identity. Slang language can be reflective of the Australian identity also, and is very much incorporated into a wide proportion of Australian’s lexis’.  It is not unusual to find a group of young Australians playing a game of ‘goon of fortune’, or your average Joe wearing ‘budgie smugglers’ out for their morning swim. By using these slang/colloquial terms, Australians are able to demonstrate their unity and relatable identity by using the playful language choices. According to one Reddit user, ‘if someone [Australians] starts taking the piss, they are being friendly and bringing the bants’; their light-hearted nature could be described as irreverent. Australian language possesses connotations of humour and playfulness, and as said by actress Joanna Lumley in her 2016 Australian premiere of Absolutely Fabulous ‘Australian’s are very hard to offend’.  However, Australians do get offended, generally over things like an ANZAC memorial being vandalised or when your ‘mate’ doesn’t shout you a round at the pub. This could be caused by Australia’s strong belief system in a ‘fair go’ and ‘mateship’.



BP 3: The language we use can assist in reflecting the multiple cultural identities we may have in a specific context, in a variety of situations. 18% of Australians are bilingual, and speak English as their second language. In the context of living in Australia however, being able to speak Standard Australian English is vital for being considered prestigious and taken seriously. Linda Burnley is Australia’s first Aboriginal women to be sworn into parliament. Due to her Indigenous background, she may use Aboriginal lexemes in order to stay true to her cultural roots. During her maiden speech in parliament, a traditional Aboriginal women sung Linda into her seat in the lower house in traditional Indigenous manner, displaying her connection to the Aboriginal culture. However, to be viewed as a powerful woman in parliament, she must comply with overt norms and code-switch to use Standard Australian English; as she is representing Australia in her seat in parliament. By using Standard Australian English, she is able to elevate herself and be powerful in that particular context of parliament.



Conc.: Language and identity are able to reflect the individual, social and cultural affiliations as they are so connected. However, it is context that enables us to present multiple identities.

strawberry7898

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Re: English Language essay submission and marking
« Reply #212 on: September 29, 2016, 09:48:10 am »
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hello i do not know how to use this so i hope im doing it right but anyway, feedback would be appreciated!!

The language we use is the best indicator of who we are, individually, socially and culturally. Discuss.

Intro: As language and identity are inextricably linked, the language we use is a vital marker of who we are individually, socially and culturally. Language reflects the multiple aspects of our identity that are all intertwined, however which face we choose to present is dependent on situational context.

BP 1: A snapshot of our individual identities can be provided at any one time, but does not holistically represent our entire identity. The particular lexis a person uses can reflect personal values, beliefs and attitudes. In the situation context of an interview with Julia Bishop (Foreign Affairs Minister), in 2015, discussing the solemn and serious issue of deaths from the MH17 flight, Eddie Maguire complies with the overt norms of Standard English and uses elevated lexemes. During the interview he says, ‘Julie, once again congratulations to you, your department and the Australian Government on the magnificent way that you’ve worked through these last 12 months’. This formal address and use of standard and polite conventions demonstrates that he is able to adhere to the formal language norms and ensure his language is appropriate for the formal nature of the discourse, and also in terms of his identity, represents his respect for the situation. In contrast to that snapshot of Eddie Maguire’s identity, in early 2016, during a discussion on his radio show he made a controversial comment towards journalist Caroline Wilson in order to establish group membership and something of a larrikin identity. He went on to say that if Caroline Wilson was to participate in the Big Freeze at the G where she would slide into a pool of freezing water, he would donate ’10 grand straight away, make it 20. And if she stays under, 50’. In this context, the discourse took place when Maguire was in the company of his friends, and reflects a less respectful aspect of his identity. Eddie then goes on to propose to his friends ‘Are you in?’. The prepositional phrase encourages responses from other interlocutors, and reflects an aspect of his identity that is not as formal. He also uses semantic patterning in the form of metaphor to describe Caroline Wilson as a ‘black widow’, which shows a lack of thoughtfulness regarding the social context of the situation. Therefore, language and identity are linked, but individual identity is fluid and multifacitated, all dependent on the situational context.

BP 2: Language is a pivotal marker of the Australian cultural identity. Specific lexical choices such as slang and diminutives, as well as Australia’s irreverent sense of humour signal an alliance to the Australian identity. Diminutives are of very common use in Australia, although they are informal, they are so widely used, they have become standard in some circumstances; even formal situations. Julia Bishop, is a big fan of the football and regularly refers to the sport in the diminutive form “footy”. This reflects that she has a laid-back, relaxed nature; much like the Australian identity. Slang language can be reflective of the Australian identity also, and is very much incorporated into a wide proportion of Australian’s lexis’.  It is not unusual to find a group of young Australians playing a game of ‘goon of fortune’, or your average Joe wearing ‘budgie smugglers’ out for their morning swim. By using these slang/colloquial terms, Australians are able to demonstrate their unity and relatable identity by using the playful language choices. According to one Reddit user, ‘if someone [Australians] starts taking the piss, they are being friendly and bringing the bants’; their light-hearted nature could be described as irreverent. Australian language possesses connotations of humour and playfulness, and as said by actress Joanna Lumley in her 2016 Australian premiere of Absolutely Fabulous ‘Australian’s are very hard to offend’.  However, Australians do get offended, generally over things like an ANZAC memorial being vandalised or when your ‘mate’ doesn’t shout you a round at the pub. This could be caused by Australia’s strong belief system in a ‘fair go’ and ‘mateship’.



BP 3: The language we use can assist in reflecting the multiple cultural identities we may have in a specific context, in a variety of situations. 18% of Australians are bilingual, and speak English as their second language. In the context of living in Australia however, being able to speak Standard Australian English is vital for being considered prestigious and taken seriously. Linda Burnley is Australia’s first Aboriginal women to be sworn into parliament. Due to her Indigenous background, she may use Aboriginal lexemes in order to stay true to her cultural roots. During her maiden speech in parliament, a traditional Aboriginal women sung Linda into her seat in the lower house in traditional Indigenous manner, displaying her connection to the Aboriginal culture. However, to be viewed as a powerful woman in parliament, she must comply with overt norms and code-switch to use Standard Australian English; as she is representing Australia in her seat in parliament. By using Standard Australian English, she is able to elevate herself and be powerful in that particular context of parliament.



Conc.: Language and identity are able to reflect the individual, social and cultural affiliations as they are so connected. However, it is context that enables us to present multiple identities.


The introduction sets the scene well for your essay as you place emphasis on changing identity and language depending on context but you could elaborate on this more, it's great that you continually link your discussion back to situational context. This comment is probably not that relevant but you may want to check over your spelling, "multifaceted" not "multifacitated" and incorrect use "women" in place of "woman". You really needed a specific example in your 2nd and 3rd paragraph but the  examples used for the 1st paragraph are good in the sense that they are recent and relevant to individual identity. The metalanguage you used for your second example "prepositional phrase, etc" is also good but there should have been more of this metalanguage throughout the essay. Body paragraph 2 lacked a link to the prompt and body paragraph 3 lacked an actual linguistic example, you needed to quote an example of Linda Burnley's speech in parliament and talk about its formality, as well as how she displays her identity as an Indigenous woman. This last bit isn't particularly necessary but you may find it helpful, there is a plethora of linguist quotes out there which you could use for an identity prompt like this one, you should be able to find plenty just browsing around on atarnotes alone, and a quote might add to the credibility of your essay or help you link or introduce your examples, some students aren't huge fans of using linguist quotes in essays but I feel like this essay is the perfect opportunity to use some. Good luck with Eng Lang, exam's coming up soon!
« Last Edit: September 29, 2016, 09:57:15 am by strawberry7898 »

che0155

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Re: English Language essay submission and marking
« Reply #213 on: September 30, 2016, 05:23:16 pm »
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Helloo, new to this, but could someone mark my essay?
Thank you :)

In both formal and informal situations, the boundaries between written and spoken language are becoming less distinct. To what extent is there still a place for both modes in Australia today?

The blurring of boundaries between written and spoken language has been occurring in both formal and informal situations. A major cause is the prevalence of e-communication, as discourse that is written now often includes conventions of speech. However, though the electronic medium may affect the boundaries between modes of language, register tends to be fairly rigid, as there are still contexts where e-communication is highly formal, and contexts when it is informal. Furthermore, despite the pervasiveness of e-communication a place for formal written contexts remains.  Furthermore, spoken language also remains of importance and hence, spoken and written language will always have its place in society, despite the increasing use of e-communication.

E-communication can be considered as any form of communication that occurs electronically including things such as texting, social media, emails and online forums. It has lead of the blurring of the boundaries between spoken and written language, and this is indicated when Crystal quotes characters explaining an email as “an electric letter” (written mode) or “a quiet phone call”. Furthermore, even in the context of an email, both informal and formal register may be used. An example is when an individual is emailing a stranger, such as a manager of a company, or a person of higher status such as a teacher or principal, a formal register is likely to be used, as indicated through the use of standard English, meaning complete sentences and standard capitalization, grammar and spelling.  In contrast, when an individual is emailing someone they have a close social relationship with, informal features, mimicking speech, such as onomatopoeia for laughing “hahah”, the use of capital letters “WHAT” to indicate an increase in volume. These features are intended to mimic the conventions of an informal spoken conversation. These features are intended to mimic the conventions of an informal spoken conversation. Technology has taken away some distinctiveness to the modes of language, but the register that is used even in the electronic medium is still easy to distinguish.

However, despite this widespread presence of the electronic medium, a place continues to remain for the written mode. This is because the written mode can bring about a formality that is too high to be done through the electronic medium. Certificates, such as birth certificates and death certificates are examples of written texts that must be printed and written. This is as written texts have the ability to bring about a sense of gravitas and seriousness that the electronic medium cannot recreate. Signage such as stop signs, warning signs, exit signs, signs with rules about going on a rollercoaster, is another example of written texts that had be be written in order for it to fulfil its function of informing people, as it physically needs to be in the location. The written mode also communicates “both care and deliberation” through things such as letters of condolences. It is evident that the written mode still has a place in society due to its ability to bring a greater sense of formality that the electronic medium cannot fully recreate.

The spoken mode of language is immediate, and despite the electronic medium having things such as “instant” messaging, nothing is ever as instant as spoken language. It is for this reason that spoken language remains, as it ensures communication in times of urgency. For example, when a family member has recently passed away, people will generally be called instead of texting, or emailed. When my mother is at the supermarket, and wants to know which cereal I want, she will most likely call me rather than text me, as she wishes for there to be an immediate reply. A spoken conversation is also more difficult to leave that a written conversation, such as texting, which is why telemarketers advertise through phone, as it is easy to avoid an advertisement via email or text, but it difficult to avoid a call, as it brings about a sense of urgency, to be answered. Hence, though electronic mediums such as texting and instant messaging aim to mimic speech, the immediacy of speech still cannot be fully addressed this way and therefore the spoken mode is still required.

Communication through technology has led to the blurring of boundaries between the modes of language. However, there has been a need for both informal and formal language in online contexts. Furthermore, despite the prevalence of e-communication there is still a place for both written and spoken language.

karlarajic

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Re: English Language essay submission and marking
« Reply #214 on: October 10, 2016, 07:31:25 pm »
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Can I post my practice commentaries here as well as practice essays?

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Re: English Language essay submission and marking
« Reply #215 on: October 10, 2016, 09:29:22 pm »
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Can I post my practice commentaries here as well as practice essays?

I've seen a few here before so I think it's ok
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Nandos787

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Re: English Language essay submission and marking
« Reply #216 on: October 24, 2016, 10:07:34 pm »
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Hey Can you guys critique my analytical commentary.  :)
Engage Practice exam B section B

The following two text are transcripts based on the film 127 hours. The first transcript is a movie review which appeared on the TV Show “At the movies” by TV show hosts Margret and David. The main function the text is to provide a film review while the secondary function is to reflect expertise. The overall register of the discourse is formal which is often the case in a television show reviews. The spoken discourse within which the transcript reflects aspects of the speech being pre planned probably due to being on TV. The second transcript is one of two friends having a conversation after seeing the movie. They can be seeing reflecting their close social distance throughout the speech and have a much more informal approach compared to the TV host.

The main function of the show is to review the movie 127 hours but the transcript also reflects the secondary function of establishing their expertise and reflect the professional nature of their review. The two interlocutors Margret and David can be seen to use of variety of lexemes of Latinate origin such as “Culminate” (13) and “existential” (47). Through the use of these elevated lexemes the interlocutors increase the social distance as a more formal tone is created, enabling them to establish as sense of authority and create a more professional nature to the text. In addition David utilises Film Jargon within the spoken discourse such as “Cinematographer” (22) and “leading role” (17). Through the employment of jargon audience members may feel alienated further establishing his expertise. Inference is also use by both interlocutors to reflect their film expertise. This is demonstrated through David’s reference to film “Slum dog millionaire”  and Margret’s reference to the film “Buried”. This assist in the coherence of the speech as audience member gain understanding through their prior knowledge of the text. This also assist David and Margret’s function of establishing expertise as this reflects their prior knowledge and expertise in the film industry.

Being from a tv show the following transcript contains features that reflect that it’s scripted. This is seen through the smooth turn taking reflected in smooth turn taking the interlocutors Margret and David and the lack of non fluency features. This is to assis the coherence of the transcript which is viewed as being highly important aspects to the tv show. In addition both the interlocutor are seen to use formulaic utterances towards the end as they reach towards the end as they each rate the tv show using the formulaic utterances “I’m giving it four stars” The use of formulaic utterances futher reflect the speech is being scripted.

Compared to the initial transcript the second transcript contains a conversation between two friends after they watched the movie 127hours. This conversation contains a much more informal register . This is reflected through the use of shortenings such as “Defs” and the use of the lexeme “Totally” as an intensifier. This language is probably used as it is a casual conversation between peers and it may be used to reduce social distance.

In addition to the use of informal language the spoken discourse with the two friends reflect the spontaneity of their conversation. This is seen through the disorderly turn taking such as over lap “ (81) (82)” and “(97)(98)”. Through this the interlocutors reflect their close social distance.

BTW it was under timed conditions wasn't able to finish

babushka818

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Re: English Language essay submission and marking
« Reply #217 on: October 26, 2016, 08:20:11 pm »
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this was the first essay I wrote this year, its awful and I'm terrible at this subject but please someone give me advice :(

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Formal language commonly aims to establish expertise and authority in the user. However, this is generally effectively solely in the public and professional sectors. These situational contexts are more attuned to building impersonal associations between individuals of varying status and position, through the use of jargon, elevated lexemes, nominalisations, passive sentence and predominantly imperative and declarative sentence types. In more casual circumstances, the need for maintaining a hierarchy is made redundant, as a relationship between the communicators has already been founded. Thus expertise and authority can still be exhibited in intimate relationships using non-Standard English and informal language mechanisms.

Formal language is undoubtedly highly effective in allowing those in fields of media, research and teaching to present ideas and knowledge in a concise, unambiguous manner. The information distributed is associated with accuracy, reliability and credibility, when given in conjunction with a formal register. Discourse of this type often heavily features elevated lexemes and semantic devices such as jargon and euphemism, and is completely devoid of slangs and colloquial terminology. This promotes the audience’s confidence in the proficiency of the user by indicating awareness and understanding of the technical language used in their profession. In May of 2016, an article was published, taking note of the several ways in which ‘groin injuries’ are euphemised in the media. Sports presenters and medical staff most commonly use indirect descriptions, including “below the belt”, “low blow” or “private area”, while controversially inappropriate terms such as “d**k” or “junk” are adamantly averted. The purpose of the former alternatives is to add seriousness to potential injury and also to establish professionalism, which cements their expertise. Various formal linguistic features are employed in professional contexts, with the intention of portraying expertise successfully.

In politics, formal language is constantly prevalent, though it serves to obfuscate and manipulate in addition to preserving status and adeptness. George Orwell commented that “political [language] is designed to make lies sounds truthful... and to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind”. On the one hand, the political sector involves making decisions that don’t fully serve the community at large, while on the other, political leaders must appear to be acting in favour of the public in order to win their support. Australian writer Don Watson stated that “to take power is to win speech” and that is precisely how politicians use formal language to their advantage. They make extensive use of euphemisms and elevated lexemes to obfuscate the true intentions behind their actions, where budget cuts are presented in such a way that implies a benefit to the society when the reality is a detriment to the public. Politicians thrive on the employment of doublespeak. They “speak in buzz words and clichés because there can be no argument with words that have no meaning at their core”. Overused phrases and polysyllabic nominalisations assist governments in appearing knowledgeable, while they numb the public’s ability to comprehend their speech in order to persuade them. In 2003, Franz Luntz advised political representatives of America to switch the term ‘global warming’ to ‘climate change’ to create an impression of it being a controllable issue. In this way, the ubiquitous ‘weasel words’ in politics, described by Don Watson as “sly words that do not mean what they appear to, or have an unseen purpose” have immense influential capacity. Political language is a highly accurate portrayal of the means by which formal language can be used to establish false expertise and manipulate the public.

Authority and instruction are increasingly significant functions of formal language, hence why it is so frequently used in corporate situations and politics. Public language is where this concept comes to the fore, described as “the language of leaders more than the led, the managers rather than the managed... the language of power and influence” in Don Watson’s ‘Death Sentence’. Authoritative figures in the public domain use nominalisations, passive and agentless passive sentences, declarative and imperative sentence types and end focus, which together serve to force a positive perception on an otherwise negative situation, once again to manipulate and mislead the audience. Agricultural Minister Barnaby Joyce has recently been involved in relocating several corporations, causing several workers to lose their jobs. Joyce announced that the “Australian Pests and Veterinary Medicines Authority will be moving from Canberra to Armidale.” The agentless passive, end focus and the use of the modal verb ‘will’ in this sentence contribute to the certainty and finality of this move, without taking any responsibility and creates an effect of what George Orwell described as “anaesthetic writing”’ writing that mitigates the effect of the words. This results in a very impersonal relationship between the individual in authority and the general public, increasing the social distance considerably. This effect can also be observed in signs proclaiming warnings, instructions or potential sanctions. In declaring that “A person under 18 who obtains or consumes liquor on these premises, and the person who supplies liquor to the person under 18, are each guilty of an offence”, the authority employs nominalisations in “offence” and end focus, again to mitigate the severity, or even conscious reality, of the prohibition. These syntactic and lexical devices are extremely effective in the public sector, where no association exists between the influential figure and the community, but formal language does not lend itself to appropriately establishing authority or expertise in intimate relationships.

In contexts outside the professional and public domain, formal language is not as effective in establishing one’s influence and proficiency. This ensues due to the already-established relationship between the interlocutors, where those involved are perceived as of an equal status, and the shifts from increasing social distance to exclusively sharing information or giving instruction. In private relationships, for instance with parents, authority can be enforced through direction and discipline using imperative sentence types, in addition to simple lexemes and intimate references, which maintain the relationship while simultaneously expressing dominance. This helps to preserve negative face, in a way that formal language cannot do as well. In close relationships where teaching takes place, such as tutors, family and friends, a predetermined hierarchy exists; both student and teacher understand their position and expertise can easily be communicated with informal language. This includes the use of active voice, puns, phonological features such as elision and contractions and may exclude jargon for easier comprehension by the student. These features allow for adeptness to be established while not detracting from a social bond, and may arguably be more effective in communication of a hierarchical nature than formal language.

While formal language generally does lend itself appropriately to maintaining authority and showcasing expertise, in the words of Don Watson, “the language is hostile in communication”. In summation, outside of a professional context, or in private circumstances, informal language may be better suited to maintaining a relationship while simultaneously being influential.
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phoenixpoon

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Re: English Language essay submission and marking
« Reply #218 on: January 19, 2017, 10:05:31 pm »
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Might collate all of your essays in here, if you want them to get feedback. Just to make things easier and neater.
Can I please get some feedback on this essay about informal language and what a grade for this essay would be like? Any help would be deeply appreciated.

strawberry7898

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Re: English Language essay submission and marking
« Reply #219 on: January 19, 2017, 11:29:11 pm »
+3
 
Can I please get some feedback on this essay about informal language and what a grade for this essay would be like? Any help would be deeply appreciated.

Hi phoenixpoon, congratulations on being the first one to post an essay in 2017!! You are already ahead of others by doing this because you're showing your commitment for this subject

I think this was a great essay to start the year off with. This essay discussed the functions of informal language, I would advise you to look at the informal language section of the study design if you haven't already done so to give you more ideas. First, please read over your essay again to check for grammatical errors, for example, "Informality has become more prominent and a gradual shift of incorporating more informal language into society" doesn't sound quite right. To me, the sentence "Colloquial language gives context to situational and cultural texts" is also a little vague, what do you mean by "situational and cultural texts"?, you have phrased what you mean a lot more clearly in the first body paragraph. Other than that, you have brought up some good arguments in your introduction.

Your first paragraph talked about the continuum of informality and how register changes depending on context, this isn't really a function of informal language and I would limit this sort of thing to the introduction. Instead, using the same examples, you can keep the focus on the phatic function of informal language , talking about how it allows users to build rapport. This is something that you brought up in the paragraph but it really should have been your topic sentence. I would change "spatial distance" to "social distance". You said that spoken informal language has a "lack of structured turn taking", I would say that it's quite the opposite, I realise you are referring to things like overlapping speech here but in general most conversations follow turn taking quite well, you need to back up claims like these with examples. "This conveys unspontaneity"- I think you meant to say spontaneity. Your point about informal language being expressive and emotive is a good point and could have been a whole other paragraph.

Talking about informal language in connection with in-group boundaries is great (check up with your teacher on this though, for some reason my teacher didn't like me bringing up Identity, a Unit 4 concept, in a Unit 3 SAC). Do use the term "in-group" in your essay as you'll get brownie points for using sociolinguistic metalanguage. My biggest criticism of this paragraph is that your examples are far too overused and dated, "selfie" became commonplace in 2012. English Language is very strict about examples being contemporary, i.e. 2017 words, and if you absolutely must, 2016 words. Trust me, examiners have a pet peeve for "selfie" in particular. Make it your holiday homework to find new examples of internet slang. You started to go a little off topic in "Although many people believe that the advances of technology kills everything" because now you're on the topic of attitudes to language rather than informal language.

"Certain features are distinctive as an indicator as Australian colloquial language"- your topic sentence should be focused on informal language and identity, using the next sentence to talk about how it can indicate cultural/national identity, for example Australian English. Again "bloody" is something that 60% of essays will mention as an example so stand out by using something different. Use of metalanguage such as "diminutives", "morphological features" and "positive politeness" is great because it shows your familiarity with English Language and allows you to establish your expertise, here's another one for your next essay- "hypocorisms". Consider watching Australian TV shows for more Australian English examples.

In short, great essay for a first attempt, I encourage you to read sample essays in the repository on the forum and in VCAA assessor's reports to get an idea of what a high quality essay looks like. Please read the 2017 examples available on the forum too for more ideas. I think you're headed in the right direction with this subject, also do get more feedback on this essay from teachers to see what they have to say, it's a good idea to be clear on your teacher's expectations from day 1 for top SAC marks. You have good knowledge of metalanguage and subject content but you're lacking on the examples front (something I don't expect you to have this early in the year anyway).
« Last Edit: January 24, 2017, 10:24:44 am by literally lauren »

lilhoo

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Re: English Language essay submission and marking
« Reply #220 on: April 15, 2017, 02:26:43 pm »
+1
Might collate all of your essays in here, if you want them to get feedback. Just to make things easier and neater.
Hi charmaderp and everyone, I'm just wondering if you can mark my first Analytical Commentary for English Language (I'm a Unit 1 EL student -> noob). I really don't know which is more convenient as I am new to this forum. I will paste the analysis and as well as attaching it. Thank you so much for reviewing it.
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Analytical Commentary - Converation between Catherine and Anita at Writer's festival                                                                   
The register of this text by Catherine and Anita is informal, as proven by the informal syntactic choices. The text can be interpreted as a transcript of a transactional conversation between a sales assistant and a customer, as such, the two interlocutors are strangers. The conversation is mainly phatic with the two talking about the traffic, weather as well as method of payments at a writer’s festival. There are also a range of factors which affect the formality of this text. The fact that the conversation takes place at a festival means there is no need to use formal expressions as it is only a phatic conversational between a sales assistant and a customer.
The phatic conversation between Catherine and Anita contain a range of features such as interruptions, truncated intonation units as well as sentence fragments which differentiate a spoken text from a written one. Truncated intonations clearly expresses that the text is an informal conversation, whereas, if this was a formal written text, the truncated intonations are seldom used as this would make the text informal. Moreover, the prevalent occurrence of interruptions, examples being line number 2 and 3 in the transcript, further undermines the formality of the text. Furthermore, the prosodic features such as the use of varying tempo, volume, intonation and stress draws the line between this spoken conversation and written text. The use of varying tempo and volume occurs throughout the text, for example, line 15 showed Catherine’s utterances being fast paced to how she is outraged by the traffic as well as lines 97 and 98 showing Catherine speaking in a loud voice to hint the conclusion of the conversation. In addition, the use of varying intonation/pitch is also prevalent within the text, as shown by line number 9, the rising pitch shows that Catherine is surprised. Unlike written text, spoken text utilise the use of stress to express emotion, for example, line 12, where Catherine uttered “… it’s shocking”, showed that she is outraged by the terrible traffic as mentioned previously by Anita. Thus, we can conclude that the difference between spoken and written text is that spoken text adopt the use of prosodic features to express emotion as well as communicating the message more effectively.
There are various syntactic features employed in this text which reflects the overall formality of the text. The sentence types, predominantly declarative and interrogative, are used by the interlocutors to talk about the traffic and weather, in addition, interrogative sentence type is used by Catherine to ask Anita regarding method of payment. For example, a declarative sentence type can be seen on line 10, where Anita states that she has never seen the traffic like this. The interrogative sentence type is also employed by Catherine as part of her customer service, an example of the use of interrogative sentences is on line 1. Furthermore, the use of grammatically correct sentences is rare in the spoken text as Catherine and Anita both express themselves in short utterance which often get truncated by the other. Thus, the due to the informal nature of the conversation, grammatically correct sentences are seldom used as there are no need for them.



cookiedream

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Re: English Language essay submission and marking
« Reply #221 on: April 17, 2017, 12:02:52 pm »
+1
Analytical Commentary - Converation between Catherine and Anita at Writer's festival   
...

Hello lilhoo! Welcome to the forums ;D
Here are my corrections (though it's pretty good for a Unit 1 student!)
Sorry if it comes off as harsh!

The register of this text by Catherine and Anita is informal, as proven by the informal syntactic choices. The text can be interpreted as It is a transcript of a transactional conversation between a sales assistant and a customer, as such, the two interlocutors are strangers. The conversation is mainly phatic with the two talking about the traffic, weather as well as method of payments at a writer’s festival. There are also a range of factors which affect the formality of this text. The fact that the conversation takes place at a festival means there is no need to use formal expressions as it is only a phatic conversational between a sales assistant and a customer. (Include social purpose here)

The phatic conversation between Catherine and Anita contain a range of features such as interruptions, truncated intonation units as well as sentence fragments (don't list features in your topic sentence, the max should be two) which differentiate a spoken text from a written one. Truncated intonations clearly express that the text is an informal conversation (by...? give an explanation specific to the text as to how it contributes to informality), whereas, if this was a formal written text, the truncated intonations are seldom used as this would make the text informal. Moreover, the prevalent occurrence of interruptions, examples being line number 2 and 3 in the transcript, further undermines the formality of the text (be specific to the text, this sentence can be applicable to just about any informal text with interruptions). Furthermore, the prosodic features such as the use of varying tempo, volume, intonation and stress draws the line between this spoken conversation and written text. The use of varying tempo and volume occurs throughout the text, for example, line 15 showed Catherine’s utterances being fast paced to how she is outraged by the traffic as well as lines 97 and 98 showing Catherine speaking in a loud voice to hint the conclusion of the conversation (love how specific this is. Include the actual quote in the line you refer to rather than just stating the line number). In addition, the use of varying intonation/pitch is also prevalent within the text, as shown by line number 9, the rising pitch shows that Catherine is surprised. Unlike written text, spoken text utilise the use of stress to express emotion, for example, line 12, where Catherine uttered “… it’s shocking”, showed that she is outraged by the terrible traffic as mentioned previously by Anita. Thus, we can conclude that the difference between spoken and written text is that spoken text adopt the use of prosodic features to express emotion as well as communicating the message more effectively.

There are various syntactic features employed in this text which reflects the overall informality of the text. The sentence types, predominantly declarative and interrogative, are used by the interlocutors to talk about the traffic and weather allowing the conversation to flow (or something like that). In addition, interrogatives are used by Catherine to ask Anita regarding method of payment. For example, a declarative sentence type can be seen on line 10, where Anita states that she has never seen the traffic like this (quote the whole declarative here). The interrogative sentence type is also employed by Catherine as part of her customer service, an example of the use of interrogative sentences is on line 1 (quote the whole interrogative. Be more specific than "as part of her customer service"). Furthermore, the use of grammatically correct sentences is rare in the spoken text as Catherine and Anita both express themselves in short utterance which often get truncated by the other (give an example or two here). Thus, the due to the informal nature of the conversation, grammatically correct sentences are seldom used as there are no need for them.

General feedback
- Keep your explanations specific to the text throughout your analytical commentary. Ask yourself whether the statement you just wrote can be applied to any other text, and if it can then add more detail related to your text.
- A few grammatical errors
- Don't list features
- Try not to just say how something "contributes to informality" and leave it there. Perhaps include why or how it reduces the formality by saying something like "reducing social distance" or "facilitates a casual tone"
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lilhoo

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Re: English Language essay submission and marking
« Reply #222 on: April 17, 2017, 03:24:24 pm »
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Hello lilhoo! Welcome to the forums ;D
Here are my corrections (though it's pretty good for a Unit 1 student!)
Sorry if it comes off as harsh!

Thanks for taking the time to read and correct my A.C, I really appreciate the comments.
By stating the 'social purpose', am I just stating the function of the conversation? Is there a difference between the two (social purpose and function)?

exit

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Re: English Language essay submission and marking
« Reply #223 on: April 17, 2017, 04:30:29 pm »
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Thanks for taking the time to read and correct my A.C, I really appreciate the comments.
By stating the 'social purpose', am I just stating the function of the conversation? Is there a difference between the two (social purpose and function)?


Function is the direct purpose: to inform, to persuade etc

Social purposes are the broader non-explicit purposes achieved in the text (usually as a result of the function): present the company in favourable light, build a relationship and decrease social distance with the audience etc.
« Last Edit: April 17, 2017, 07:02:38 pm by exit »
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lilhoo

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Re: English Language essay submission and marking
« Reply #224 on: April 17, 2017, 04:53:55 pm »
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Function is the direct purpose: to inform, to persuade etc

Social purposes are the broader non-explicit purposes achieved in the text (usually as a result of the function): present the company in favourable light, build a relationship and decrease with the audience etc.
Thanks!