can someone please give me feedback on my expository essay please?

[stazz]

Staying true to our core values is the best way to deal with conflict.

It is within human nature for us to potentially oppose the ideologies of others if it is in direct conflict of our own. From our views of society, to our experiences that shape our own values and principles, there are a plethora of elements, which ensure that no two-world views are quite alike. It is when we encounter opposing ideologies that we may feel a sense of intimidation and an urge to oppose these ideologies if we feel our views are right, which can lead to an eruption of conflict. When faced with conflict the strength of our belief in our core values is truly put to the test as it could elicit a range of responses. For instance, one can compromise their values out of fear from perceived threats of death or persecution. However, these circumstances could lead to the individual facing further personal adversities due to relinquishing an important belief or stance. As such, there may be others who choose to stand by their core values and challenge the values of others in the midst of conflict, even if it may seem like a hefty undertaking.  Beyond this, in extreme circumstances when the nature of conflict is so disastrous we may be given no choice but to forfeit our belief in our values to prevent further escalation of conflict. In this respect, it is clear that there is no one way to deal with conflict  it is inherently circumstantial and will depend on the individual’s degree of tolerance in compromising their core values.

There are instances where individuals may see the need to compromise their core values, as it may seemingly appear to be the best option at the time to avoid further persecution or unnecessary punishment from a higher authority. However, what ensues can potentially exacerbate a person’s psychological wellbeing, leaving them with self-doubt and regret from not sticking by their true values. Such ideas are presented in Bertolt Brecht’s Life of Galileo, when the protagonist Galileo recalls his memory of unwillingly recanting his theory of ‘truth of the universe’. Galileo compromises his fundamental values of scientific research because he was afraid of the short-term consequence of ‘physical pain’ of torture from the ‘instruments’ of the church. Although it seemed at the time, the right decision for Galileo to not risk the possibility of death, it is revealed that he struggled to deal with the regrets of not choosing his core values in the face of conflict, leaving him to be self-loathing and considering himself to be a ‘betrayer’ of his profession and someone who ‘cannot be tolerated in the ranks of science’.  This notion is often resonates in society when people are subjected to peer pressure, where we feel threatened by the people around us and make decisions about the things we do and don’t do, based off the fear of being an outcast rather than the central values we hold. As a result of this we can lose ourselves and become self -loathing people because of the decisions we make based of other people’s values rather than our own. Thus in light of the compromising of our core values as an approach to dealing with conflict it is evident that at times it may not be the healthiest of options and can lead to adverse impacts to us psychologically.

Whilst compromising our values is a viable option for us to deal with conflict, there are times where it may not always be the best. This often resonates among those who strongly about their views amidst their personal adversities or conflict. Throughout history, significant individuals have inspired this notion, such as Rosa Parks, who defied the pre-established principles of racial segregation prevalent in America where a rift between white and black people were profound. In particular, Rosa Parks believed that there was an unfair bias that saw black people disadvantaged in employment, education and financing opportunities as well as being discriminated in social settings or in the public.. Subsequently Parks started the ‘Mongomery bus boycott’ in which she poignantly refused to forfeit her seat for a white man who asked her to move.  This decision of defiance was a reflection of her core value of equality. Parks’ small action of defiance had a ripple effect on society and influenced many across the globe which triggered a civil rights movement that abolished the principle of segregation. Rosa Park serves as a timely reminder that at times of conflict where discrimination is prevalent, the best option may be for people to stand by their core values as it could inspire movements that overthrow a corrupt or discriminating governing body or community.

Alas there may be other times when conflict is so unforeseeable and uncontrollable that people may not be given the option of sticking with their core values as means of dealing with conflict. Such a situation is paralleled in Brecht’s play in which the Church’s power and dominance over the people is threatened by Galileo’s knowledge. As such the Church’s deem Galileo ‘an enemy of the human race’ and to ‘treat him as such.’ and in response, go to drastic measures to silence Galileo to protect their values of the teaching of god. Accordingly, Galileo is also subjected to a similar situation in which he has to compromise his own values of scientific research of the ‘truth of the universe’ and dismiss it, as he is threatened with torture by the Church. This reinforces the notion that when one is put into a situation where they are threatened by death it may be difficult for them to stick by their values as it is in their inherent nature to switch on their survival instincts. By extension this implies that in light of our unique views, when conflict is so violent we may compromise them in order to deal with conflict.

There are a multitude of ways in which people respond to conflict, as this is often contingent on its severity and how it will affect a particular person. Often times, people may be inspired to stand by their beliefs no matter the situation, whilst others, in fear of persecution or even death may choose at that moment to compromise their values as a means to survive. What is of most significant is that the individual considers the implications of their choices and how it will impact on their own well-being and those that are close to them.

I understand the english isnt one of my strongest subject, my teacher says i have trouble with connecting to the prompt and i was wondering if i could get some feedback from this piece!
Thanks in advance and much appreciated!

[literally lauren]

This is a really good effort overall; the only thing I'd recommend would be broadening your evidence base to ensure you've got enough to work with. Having the set text in two paragraphs is okay, but it'd be better if you could balance this out with more external examples beyond Rosa Parks.

Perhaps go back through any stuff you've used so far this year, or any examples your teacher has gone through in class just in case they suit the prompt tomorrow?

Your links to the prompt were pretty decent; it's mainly just the examples that could potentially hold you back, so revise those tonight and hopefully it'll all pay off tomorrow! Best of luck!