The process of discoveries, whether inadvertent or orchestrated,
Awesome work! I love that you've changed the planned/unplanned to inadvertent or orchestrated. What's also great, is that these are perfect synonyms. They aren't a "kind of synonym" that doesn't really express the idea well. They are perfect synonyms! (PS. I think this is the first time I've seen a perfect synonym for planned and unplanned in an essay!) entail unforeseeable ramifications that challenge and renew preconceived ideals pertaining to humanity. Shakespeare’s The Tempest exemplifies this through Prospero’s methodical passage of discovery, instigated by fortuitous rediscovery of his past.
Amazing!His rekindled indignation of the venomous usurpation of his dukedom by Antonio, as a result thereof, illustrated by vivid tactile imagery in his metaphor, “The ivy which had hid my princely trunk, /And sucked my verdure out on’t”, translates into a “tempest”. This storm is thus allegorical for his inner turmoil, concocted to perpetrate “Ling’ring perdition – worse than any death/Can be at once” and hence, assuage his enmity toward his adversaries through their anguish, as conveyed by Ariel’s sadistic tone. However, as Prospero navigates through the anarchic recesses of his inner world, simulated by the perverted external reality, he uncovers the fallaciousness of his vindictive pursuit. This collision of the imagined and physical landscape of the island hence accentuates the complex possibilities the human mind encapsulates, provoking responders to contemplate the interplay between reality and moral judgements of conscience.
In the sentence just past, I was hoping for the end part to be about discovery. Perhaps prompting the responder to discover the interplay, or something to that effect. Your sentence is brilliant, it makes perfect sense. But, it has been several sentences since we last linked back to discovery. Although it does make sense once you finish the paragraph, if you can weave discovery in there at the half way point, you prove to the markers that you aren't just topping and tailing your paragraphs. So I essentially mean, if you can bring this section back to discovery, that's great. But, if you find it awkward or as though it doesn't flow - then don't do it, it isn't worth risking your perfect flow, especially when the end of the paragraph rounds off discovery well. Ariel’s merciful intercession astounds Prospero, manifested in his rhetorical question, “…relish all as sharply/Passion as they be kindlier move than thou art?”, evoking introspection of his unavailing vengeance. In consequence, Prospero re-evaluates his perception of “The rarer action” and rediscovers the redemptive power of forgiveness, emphasised by his antithesis
between "Antithesis of" works better, but to be most correct, I'd change this part to..."emphasised by the antitethical pairing of virtue and vengeance at play in The Tempest/the situation/Prospero's life." Something is the antithesis to another thing. You don't necessarily have an antithesis 'between.' An antithesis is an exact opposite, there kind of is no in between. Hence, I'm suggesting an adjustment so that this flows wonderfully 
“virtue” and “vengeance”. This unforeseen outcome propels Prospero to unveil the illusion of pragmatism manifested in his omnipotent power and hence abjure it, “I’ll break my staff, /Bury it certain fathoms in the earth, /And deeper than did ever plummet sound” as depicted by his hyperbolic statement. Thus, Prospero’s process of discovery clears his inner turmoil by transfiguring his resent to mercy rather than indulging in the former, as he envisaged.
Just to make this paragraph PERFECT - I'd like to see it brought back to the planned/unplanned idea that you sewed at the start. Your paragraph hints to this throughout, but just really clearly making a "thus..." statement, that ties the concept with the text, makes your argument wholistic!Comparatively, inadvertent experiences challenge and renew preconceived notions pertaining to activism, fostering the persona’s process of discovery in Lost Voices. In the opening of the poem, Simpson, an African American man, and Bostley, a white woman, are reticent to recount their individual discoveries. They, instead, interchange microphones and speak on one another’s behalf, whilst mouthing their own revelations. Bostley is initially irresolute towards the efficacy of her feminist voice in alleviating sexual abuse, conveyed by Simpson’s vacillating enunciation, “I battle between wanting my own body and accepting that there is a one in four chance a man will lay claim to my skin – a plot of land for the taking.” His dehumanising metaphor further accentuates Bostley’s predominant feeling of helplessness, hindering growth of her assertiveness. Similarly, Prospero’s pre-eminent resent hindered development of his bygone forgiving nature, awakened by Ariel’s unanticipated humane intercession.
Yes! Great link!In contrast, the persona’s unforeseen encounters with feigned sympathisers provoked awakening of her vehement stance, “It is not a problem you want to sympathise but to tell me you know my pain, is to stab yourself in the leg because you saw me get shot,” epitomised by Simpson’s hyperbolic analogy.
Love a double-barrelled technique! Hyperbolic analogy...amazing!This impels Bostley to re-assess her despairing perceptions where interchanging microphones back, towards the poem’s end, symbolises reclamation of her personal narrative as a result thereof. Bostley’s epiphany of the imperativeness of voicing feminine struggles is further highlighted in her anaphoric proclamation, “I fight so my voice can be heard. I fight for the voices you silence all in the name of what is right.” Second-person language directly emphasises Bostley’s transformation of ideals, like Prospero, ensuing her discovery process to audiences and hence, elevated voice, opposed to Prospero’s augmented mercy.
What makes this paragraph so cool is that you draw comparisons between the two texts. That shows your confidence with the texts and the module.Fresh and intensely meaningful revelations entail inquisitive responses, catalysing further discoveries to facilitate self-insight and growth.
This links to your intro well!Shakespeare’s The Tempest epitomises this through Miranda, the embodiment of wonder and naivety, raised isolated in a “cell” in a world of her own. Untainted by outside civilisation, her imaginative capacities are bounded by a narrow worldview where “More to know/Did never meddle with my thoughts,” characterising her as ingenuous. Miranda, thus, personifies the state preceding a discovery, impressionable by fresh experiences. Rediscovery of her past beyond recall astounds Miranda, conveyed by her impassioned tone in her exclamation, “O the heavens!” evoking her inquisitiveness for further revelations. This necessitated her stream of questions, “What foul play had we, that we came from thence? …Wherefore did they not/That hour destroy us?... How came we ashore?” conveying Miranda’s broadened enlightenment of her identity and the outer world, impelling expansion of her mindset for unwonted possibilities. Miranda’s evolution is furthered upon discovery of love in Ferdinand, arousing her sexual awakening and assertive disposition that were formerly obscured. These far-reaching impacts on her identity and emotional maturity are accentuated by enjambment of her avowal, “I would not wish/Any companion in the world but you …But I prattle/Something too wildly, and my father’s precepts/I therein do forget,” where her self-perception is reshaped as a result thereof. Although Prospero unveils “The fringed curtains of thine [Miranda’s] eye” to her aristocratic heritage and romance, dramatic irony in her assertion, “O wonder! /How many goodly creatures are there here! /How beauteous mankind is! O brave new world/That has such people in’t!” depicts her prevailing naivety to responders nonetheless. Thus, while Miranda’s process of discovery opened her world to new possibilities, the evolution of her consciousness to the complex nature of humankind still remains in the inceptive phase.
This is probably my favourite paragraph so far because it is packed full with all kinds of great techniques and analysis. Also, you link back perfectly at the beginning and end most notably, to your introductory thesis! Go you!Fresh and intensely meaningful revelations are also a platform for discovery in Lost Voices. In contrast to Miranda’s rediscovery of her past, Simpson’s confronting experience “in second grade” where, “At recess, all the white kids chased me into the woods chanting slave” evoked consciousness of his racial identity, accentuated by Bostley’s vivid visual and auditory imagery. Discovery of preceding licit relegation and lynching of African Americans impelled the persona to “refuse(d) to come out [of the woods] for three hours” where Bostley’s anecdotal recount, “My mother… thinks I was lost in the trees, but I just needed to be closer to my roots,” conveys Simpson’s inceptive development of his cultural connection as a result thereof. This unforeseen outcome unveiled
Perhaps, "allowed the reader to discover the..." I'm not sure, this is up to you, but I'm just looking for ways to tie the discovery into the middle of your paragraph a bit more.the struggle ethnic minorities endured against intolerance of difference to the persona, as opposed to Miranda’s unanticipated stream of questions uncovering her noble heritage. In consequence, he became able to contextualise derogatory remarks as xenophobic, “I felt the words shoot daggers into my melanin,” epitomised by tactile imagery in Bostley’s metaphor.
BOOM! Tactile imagery in a metaphor. Woo!This provoked Simpson to discover that his, and the broader African American community’s, voicelessness augments bigotry within society. He is thus impelled to interchange microphones back towards the poem’s end, where he alliteratively retaliates, “I am black and beautiful by nature, ain't no income that can change that,” epitomising his newfound voice to silence prejudiced individuals and empower African American responders to also discover their voice. Thus, the unveiling of his racial identity and renewal of societal perceptions, catalysed Simpson’s discovery process and, contrary to Miranda, his evolution in ideals transcended the superficial phase.
Ultimately, fresh experiences entail a chain of revelations, evoking introspection and re-evaluation of values and perceptual viewpoints of one’s self and the external world. Shakespeare’s The Tempest position
s responders to chronologically observe the characters’ discoveries as they occur at first hand whereas Simpson and Bostley’s Lost Voices abridge their discovery process, enabling the ramifications to be tangible and hence, pronounced to audiences. In spite of their disparate textual forms, both texts explore the transformative impact of the discovery process at heart.
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